Slip of the Tongue
by Bittersweet Romanticide
Summary: A Collection of 50 AAML and DAML oneshots. Rated T for language and crude humor. Chapter 4 sucks, skip it. AM stands for pokeshipping, DM stands for constestshipping.
1. AM All We'll Ever Be

Disclaimer: I don't own pokémon, or High School Musical.

Welcome to the edited version of my story. I can write better. I should do editing before I post, and from now on I will. Good reading!

* * *

"Ash?" Misty asked. I crossed my fingers and hope, hoped as hard as I could that she wouldn't ask me to do something. After all, she was using that voice again. Everyone who had traveled with her for more than an hour had heard her use that voice. It was the same voice her sisters used to bribe her into being a mermaid in the play (Episode: the Misty Mermaid). Only she was better with the tone, she sounded more innocent, more believable, like a poochyena whining for love.

"Yeah, Misty?" I inquired carefully. I curled up tighter on the green velvet couch, wondering if I could make a dive for the remote and turn on something that would distract her.

"Ash, wanna hear something funny?" She smiled sweetly, leaning towards me like a five year old with an embarrassing question to ask.

"Noooooo." I stretch out the word. I decide that now, now I can get the remote, and leap forward to grab it from the table. Misty would not be swayed, and her hand slammed over mine. Not in the sweet, romantic way that you think a girl would touch you, but in a hard rough way, making my hand sting as she dug her nails into my hand and refused to let me go. Now my position was rather uncomfortable, bent in half with Misty only six inches away from my face.

"You know how all my sisters have all those boyfriends?" She said, inching closer to me, now only four inches left between us. Backing up would be useless, her nails would just dig farther into my hands.

"Misty this is girl stuff," I said, trying to persuade her to set me free. I tried telepathically to tell her to set me free like I did with butterfree(sp?), but I think she confused freedom with you-do-what-I-want-when-I-want.

"Ash, romance is guy and girl stuff," she giggled.

"Is not."

"Then how were you born, genius?" Misty retorted. I frowned and waited for her to take back her statement. She wasn't arguing right. We're each supposed to make a statement, one of us will say is not or is too, and we will begin to argue like that until someone breaks us up.

"…" I stayed silent.

"Ash?" She said, beginning to get annoyed and losing her persuasive tone.

"…"

"Answer me before I hurt you!" She screamed.

"…you're supposed to say 'is too' Misty. You know, you're getting bad at this. We should've kept traveling together, you're no fun to argue with anymore." I tested to see if now that she'd gotten that out of the way, she'd let me go. No, her nails broke through a few layers of skin, not enough to bleed, but enough to sting.

"That's because I make good arguments now and you can't fight back. Now, let's get back to the original comment." Misty smiled and leaned forward the smallest bit. I measured four and one half inches left between us. I felt my muscles stiffen and shivers run down my spine. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine she wasn't there. "Cold, Ash?"

"Oh boy." I whispered, keeping my eyes closed tight.

"Huh?" She asked. My eyes shot open and I tried to rip away.

"Nothing. Let's watch TV!" I shouted, succeeding in getting away from her grip, though her nails ripping my flesh was rather unpleasant.

"But I'm not done talking yet," she whined, sticking her lower lip out.

"But-" I said, pointing to the TV.

"I still have that mallet, Ash," she threatened.

"Please, continue talking." I gave a nervous smile. Nothing is scarier than that mallet, not even Brock with a copy of the karaoke version of _Breaking Free _from _High School Musical_. I mean, that thing doesn't even leave marks, there's no proof of its abuse on my body. Also, thinking where it comes from makes me wonder about…places and…things…I'm a guy. I have urges and needs like women and other men do. Shut up.

"Well, they've had lots of boyfriends and lots of kisses. I haven't had any. I don't get what's so great about it either," she scoffed, rolling her eyes. I did have this little Ash in the back of my head screaming "it's a trap! Walk away!" but I tend to ignore him. He's the one that says stupid things, like jumping off of the roof is wrong.

"WHAT?!" I shouted in surprise. Misty looked up at me, her face surprised but her eyes seeming confident. (A/N: Yes, I did say up. He's tall now, I like it that way.) "You, the romantic? Kissing's not great? What the heck?"

"Oh, say hell, you goody-two-shoes, you're sixteen," Misty snapped at me. She may be right about that. I've gotten beaten up because Gary told them I'm a nerd. Stupid Gary. Sorry, the story! "I mean, I'm all for romance and stuff. You get that nice little fluttery happy feeling inside. But kissing? Nada. Nothing. You're just touching your lips together, big whoop. I touch my lips to my fork all the time, and I'm not in love with it." She scoffed dryly.

"Kissing's different," I countered. That's right. I stood up for romance. Well, I stood up for Brock who told me about how awesome kissing is. Not sure about the tongue thing though, it's pretty creepy.

"Oh really? Who told you that?" Misty snickered. "You're mom?"

"No! But it's not like there's anything wrong with it if she did. It was Brock," I corrected.

"Brock?! Do you seriously think Brock's been kissed yet?" Misty burst out laughing.

"Yes! Don't say those types of things abut Brock. He's like my older brother and he wouldn't lie about that."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know," She said, holding up her hands in surrender.

"He introduced me to the internet."

"Ash, you've known about the internet forever."

"He introduced me to the real internet." I tried to clarify without saying that word. (A/N: Sorry, I'm twisted.) Misty thought or a moment before shuddering.

"You're sick."

"I'm male."

"Not all guys are like that."

"I have bad role models."

"Kissing is stupid."

"Is not."

"Is too."

"IS NOT!" Once again, we were engaged in that age old 'is not' 'is too' argument, just like when we first started traveling together.

"Da—it Ash! Can't you come up with a convincing argument for once?" Misty shouted at me, throwing her hands up in the air in exasperation.

"Oh, you want a convincing argument?" I said haughtily, my temper beginning to get the better of me.

"Yeah Ash! Convince me or you lose! That's right! You LOSE you big stupid dumb dumb loser stupid moron!" She huffed.

"I'm not a loser! Watch!" I yanked her forward, which wasn't very far since she was practically on top of me already, and lowered my lips to hers. It wasn't until she started kissing back until I realized that I wasn't just giving Misty a quick kiss. No, this wasn't a kiss. This was the verb form of it. This was lots of kisses. This was kissing big time. But…I sorta liked it. I mean, Brock said that kissing's only good if you like the person you kiss. But that doesn't mean…right? I mean I couldn't…I wouldn't…oh, my head feels funny. Too much thinking, ow.

"Ash?" She said in that sweet little voice again.

"Yes?" I asked, my voice an octave to high and cracking, where it unfortunately stayed for the rest of the day.

"I'm not rusty at all. I always win. Still do. Think about that." She smiled and handed me back the remote, tweaking my nose in the process. Misty cuddled into my arm, and I didn't shove her off. She's my friend, and friends do that.

…that doesn't mean that's all we'll ever be…

* * *

I liked this better. I really did. It came out smoother, more flowing. Yeah, I liked this. 


	2. AM Pushing

Okay, I've edited, see how you like it.

"Do not!" Ash shouted for what seemed like the millionth time that day. He glared at Misty, crossing her arms at him and hoping to win the pointless argument. They had been so close to getting inside, standing right in front of Ash's house.

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Are they ever going to stop?" May whined, digging her manicured nails deeps into the wood of the white washed picket fence her, Brock, Max, and Tracey were leaning on. "I have a headache! How can they argue like this for hours and hours and hours?"

"They have amazing stamina," Brock explained, using his know-it-all expertise, "They don't need a lot of air, huge lung capacity so they can shout at each for a really long time before drawing a breath."

"It's pretty cool," Max said, May glared at him. "I mean, fighting is bad and all, but their fights last so much longer than ours. I have to admit though, their fights are pretty boring."

"What were they arguing about?" Gary asked, walking onto the scene.

"I'm not really sure," Brock shrugged. "I think something about water pokémon and how Misty was better than Ash with them or something…he obviously wasn't about to let that go, and here we are. It's been two hours and forty six minutes since they started. If I wasn't so used to this, I'd be scared."

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Come on, you two don't really want to stand here arguing, do you?" Gary shouted at them, trying to swoop in and be the cool, stylish hero.

"Yes we do!" They shouted together, turning to him only an instant before resuming their… "Battle of Wits."

"They're so annoying," Gary snapped, crossing his arms and leaning on the white picket fence with the others, trying desperately not to look defeated.

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"They're in love with each other but they won't admit it. So all those confined feelings bubble up and they start shouting at each other. Morons." Tracey sighed, getting out his sketchbook to draw the pair.

"How do you know that?" May asked in confusion, already a little disturbed by the sketchpad he carried around with him.

"I read psychology books in Professor Oak's lab," he declared proudly, taking out his permanently sharpened pencil and starting to sketch.

"He scares me," May whispered, leaning over to Gary.

"Join the club," he laughed, fiddling with the necklace around his neck. "And I have to work with the guy sometimes, imagine how hard it must've been for Ash and Misty to travel with him twenty four seven."

"Ouch," May winced, feeling the torture of her anguished friends. "I think I get why they're insane now."

"Hey May, you're boyfriend's coming!" Max teased. May looked up in confusion, until she saw a certain green haired contest rival striding down the road, that's when the blush started.

"I don't like him,"

"Then why are you blushing?" He retorted with a giggle.

Meanwhile, Drew stared on at the bickering duo, hands tucked in his pockets as the typical cool guy. He had a feeling the two of them had some kind of romance going on between them. "Do you two like each other?" He asked bluntly.

"NO!" They shouted, too absorbed in their routine quarrel to even blush at the question.

'I think they do…I could do something about it. If they're just friends it's an embarrassing situation, if they're more then I just made two people very happy. I bet I can out run them if they get mad. And if they do get mad, it's pretty funny so…okay.' Drew shrugged to himself and shoved Misty into Ash, forcing their lips to touch.

"That was fun." Drew said brightly before walking to the others on the white picket fence, each with their own shocked face plastered on. "So…what are you guys doing?"

"You just…" Brock stared.

"Why didn't we think of that?" Gary asked, throwing his hands out in the air. "I mean, it maybe only for a second but at least we could've had some fun teasing them about it! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" He said, smacking his forehead.

"Oh my god, they're kissing." May gasped, her eyes opening even farther.

"Yes, May. Drew pushed them together." Max rolled his eyes.

"No, look! They're kissing!" She pointed. Slowly, their eyes wandered over to Ash and Misty, the two now locked in an embrace, and kissing quite hungrily.

"Finally! I knew it! I knew the psychology books wouldn't let me down." Tracey shouted, leaping up from the fence and pointing.

"He scares me" Drew whispered to May.

"We need seriously need to start a support group for everyone's who's come in contact with this guy," Gary whispered, shaking his head. Ash and Misty finally realized they were being watched, and broke apart, Misty looking rather shaken.

"We shouldn't do this, I mean-" Ash started.

"Yeah," Misty interrupted, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"Stop cutting me off! I was gonna say we shouldn't in public! My mom always said something about public displays of affection…" he trailed off and shook his head, "come on, let's go inside." He started pulling her towards his house.

"What? But you? You hate anything to do with the opposite sex," Misty exclaimed in confusion.

"I didn't hate it," he explained, "I just didn't want to because I thought I would hate it. But I tried it, and I don't. So let's go." He said, starting to run inside. Halfway to the door he turned back to Misty. "Aren't you coming?"

"Um…o-okay then. Let's go." She said, a little freaked out, but walked inside after Ash.

"That was cool," Gary grinned.

Drew laughed lightly and grinned at everyone, "I did that."


	3. DM Love in Cerulean

"Misty, do you think Drew likes me?" May sighed, sprawled out over the couch and covering her face with a pillow. She'd crashed at the Cerulean Gym while waiting for the next contest, but was facing a major dilemma. Misty Waterflower refused to respond to the poor girl. "Misty?" She waited, still no response. She ripped the pillow off her face and glared. "I could use some feminine advice! Could you stop making out just long enough to talk to me?"

"What? Oh, uh, sorry," Misty flushed. Ash pulled away as well, red, but highly disgruntled. "Ever since we've got together we've just been, uh, well, attached to one another. I really love him, you know? He's charming and sweet and, oh! What were you saying May? I'm so, so sorry."

"Sorry, May," Ash blushed. "But, if you, uh, don't mind, could you talk to someone else about this? Misty and I are kind of busy and, you know. I'm sure you could get help from someone else, right? It wouldn't be that hard."

"Ash, come on. It'll just be a minute," Misty said. "Besides, we don't want anyone to think we're, you know, getting a little too involved with one another." Ash felt his blush deepen. He leaped away from his girlfriend.

"Uh, I'm suddenly thirsty. I'm going to go get a drink of water. Want some Misty?"

"No, I'm fine," She shifted uneasily and looked at May. "Hey, uh, do you have any chapstick? I could really use some because Ash and I have been, uh, you know." May shivered, not really wanting to know but having to deal with the inevitable fact that she _did, _before digging in her bag and dragging out some chapstick. "Thanks, May. If you still want to talk, I'm, uh, ready to hear all about it. Tell me your problem."

"Okay, Misty do you…" She began. She flushed and grabbed her pillow. This was hard, but she could say it, just spit it out fast. "Misty, do you think that Drew has a crush on me? I really like him but I don't want to say anything unless he likes me back!"

"I'd love to help you out, May, but I've only met him once or twice, maybe three times at once. I don't know anything about him except the hair flip thing he does is as annoying as Ash with his hat or Gary with his car."

Ash's head popped back in. "Did you just say something about my hat."

"No," Misty said quickly.

Ash's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "I don't believe you, but I did hear about Gary's car, which reminds me. May, Gary got a new completely psychotic girlfriend. Feel free to insult Gary, just don't insult his car or his pokémon. She loves those things more than him." He gave Misty the water bottle. "Are you sure you're not thirsty? I could really use some chapstick too. Want to trade me?" He gave a lopsided smile. Misty looked questioningly at May.

"Yeah, sure, give it to him," She muttered. "I'll never be able to use it now, but who cares, right? As long as the lovebirds are happy everything's fine." Ash began to hand it back. "No, it's fine. Just use it. I don't care. It's twenty five cents, no big deal."

"Hey, Ash, May's got a problem," Misty leaned into his shoulder. "You know Drew way better than I do. So, what do you think? Does he show any type of romantic interest in her, or is there relationship doomed to be forever rivals?"

"I thought you said you were going to stop talking like you were a movie announcer, we made a deal."

"Ash, would mind answering the question?" Misty groaned.

"You really think I'm going to know?" Ash snorted. "How the hell am I supposed to know? I didn't even know I liked you before Drew shoved you into me! I've got no ideas for romantic hints, okay? Even if you asked me, I probably couldn't think of them. Could we maybe, uh," he blushed.

"One minute," Misty said, turning red as well. "May, you really should just take the chance. He seems like the guy who would just shrug it off. I mean, what do you have to loose? The guy already tortures you endlessly. He's used to girls having crushes on him, so why would anything between you change, besides the fact that he's got something new to mock you about? Hey, if you're lucky and the next argument you have you say you're _not _in love with him, maybe he'll give you a kiss to prove his point."

"So, you, the queen of denial, are telling me to come out and tell the truth?" May scoffed. "Wow, if that's not a contradiction of terms, I don't know what is. I don't really see why I should be listening to that logic.

"Do as I say, not as I do," Misty snapped, turning red once more. "I can't keep the blush off my face today!"

"May, you know what? You asked for her advice, and you got it. What do you want her to say? That she'll go on a top secret spy mission to find out whether or not he likes you? I mean, sure, that'll be loads of fun and I'd love to help you out with that plan, but it's not a great way to start a relationship. You know why? That relationship would be built off of lies and deceit. What kind of relationship is that?"

"Wow, Ash," Misty grinned. "You remembered all of that, _and _the meaning of deceit? I couldn't be prouder."

"Damn straight!" He said proudly. "A relationship should be built off of honesty, not brutal honesty, but honesty. Well, unless you pick up on the fact that your girlfriend wants to eat chocolate cake and you're supposed to lie and say 'no, I'm sure that won't make you fat' or you get hit with a mallet."

"Damn straight," Misty mimicked with a giggle.

"Come on, Ash, stay on topic!" May moaned. "I have a problem!"

"Tell or don't tell! It's that simple! You don't need to talk with us! You already rejected Misty's advice, and now you're not listening to mine! You're just fishing for the answer you want to hear! You want the easy way out, you're going to have to find someone else.

"Honestly, Ash. I'm sure we can give some other advice, if you just give a second to let me straighten all this out I'm all yours," Misty smiled. "What, are you just agitated because I'm not letting you make out with me any more?"

"No, I'm agitated because she's just insulted not only me, but you in five minutes! I know she doesn't mean it but still! I don't want anyone insulting my girlfriend, even if she is a friend of mine. May, take our advice or leave it. We can't help you in any other way and you know it. Relationships aren't all fun and games, they take work. If you want something worthwhile, you'll have to get up off your ass and work on it."

"Ash," she blinked. "Girlfriend?"

"Uh, is that too fast?" Ash blinked. Misty shook her head wildly and threw her arms around his neck, kissing him again. Ash pulled back. "I really like kissing you, but would it be too much trouble if we could go hide upstairs? The making out in front of people is…"

"Awkward? I feel the same way," Misty nodded. She grabbed his hand and dragged him upstairs, only remembering at the very top to shout, "Good luck with Drew, May, I mean it! I hope you get the man of your dreams!"

May collapsed back into the couch, closing her eyes and moaning quietly before getting back up. She might as well let them have their privacy. She stretched her back and arms before walking out the gym doors, bumping into the eldest of the Waterflower girls on the way and falling down on the ground. "Oh, ouch. That looked painful. You shouldn't stare at the ground when you're walking. That's how you end up on your butt."

"Yeah, I guess I should," May laughed a bit. She looked up at the blonde girl in front of her. "You're Misty's sister right. You're the oldest one. Don't tell me your name. I remember. It's a flower. It's a really happy flower. Uh, Daisy?" She clapped her hands when the older girl nodded. "Yes! I got it right. You're Daisy! I'm usually horrible at names, I'm glad I managed to get this one right!" Daisy extended a hand and helped May up.

"You're May?"

"Yeah, you got it," she nodded. "Uh, you may want to walk the other way. I was trying to give Ash and Misty some privacy because they're kissing upstairs. Well, I hope they're making out. They wouldn't be…"

"No," Daisy laughed. "Misty's too good for that. She won't get knocked up like Lily did. I swear, that abortion clinic knows her name when she walks in. How are you, May? We could go to the mall if you wanted. I'm always up for a shopping buddy."

"I'm fine, but, if you don't mind me asking, could you tell me…?" May paused. "Why don't you have a Valley Girl accent? You used to, I know. I've heard you on the old home videos you guys had. Ash found a video where Misty fell off the roof so he played it over and over."

"Oh yeah," Daisy laughed. "That was a good one. I just grew out of the Valley Girl accent. I don't know why. It just happened less and less and now" She shrugged, "I don't say like any more than other teenagers."

"Daisy, I lied."

"Damn, you've only said three words to me. How'd you think of a lie that fast?"

"I'm not doing well at all. I want to talk to someone else. I mean, Misty and Ash gave me advice, but I really don't like the advice they gave. Would you mind helping me out?" She asked. Daisy shrugged and gestured to a nearby bench. They went and sat down together. "Okay, you know how Misty really liked Ash, but she didn't tell anyone?" May asked. Daisy nodded. "I've got the same problem."

"You sure know how to peak my interest. I practically live for gossip. Tell me everything! What's his name? What's he look like? Where'd you meet him? I'll keep it all in my head and spread it around town within the hour."

"I don't really know if I want to tell you now." May murmured to herself, backing away from her.

"Oh, quiet," Daisy rolled her eyes. "I'm just kidding, damn. You act like it's the worst thing in the world. Tell me your problem, I won't tell anyone. Though, I do want all the juicy details. I am a gossip addict, after all."

"Okay." May shrugged. "but I'm warning you, I tend to get dramatic when I talk about him. Who knows how long I'll go on for."

"Go ahead, really. I doubt you can talk more than I can."

Two Hours Later…

"Wow, you can talk more than I can." Daisy laughed. "What do you know? I was wrong! But from what you've told me, I think Misty and Ash really had the right idea. You should take their advice, they seem to know what they're talking about. Just tell him"

"Why does everyone keep saying that? I can't just tell him!"

"Why not?" Daisy laughed. "What's he going to do? Tease you? It sounds like he's being doing that enough. It's not going to change anything. Trust me, I've had this problem hundreds of times. I usually find it's best to tell the guy." She frowned. "Unless it's your jackass friend of thirteen years who doesn't want to date you because he's a jackass who's emotionless and unfeeling and leaves you hanging, never talking to you ever again."

"Bad date?"

"No, just a jerk who wouldn't give us a chance, or be friends with me after I told him. I doubt that'll happen to you. Drew doesn't seem to be that kind of guy. You could be sugar coating the boy, for all I know."

"But here's the thing, what if he doesn't like me back? If there's one thing I can't take, it's being embarrassed. I get embarrassed really easily! It'll be horrible!" She dropped her face into her hands with a groan.

"Don't be a wimp. You want embarrassing? I howled at my lunch table, and the next thing I know my principal is standing over me and telling me that it is inappropriate behavior in the cafeteria. When your principal is a closest rapist, that's not just embarrassing, that's frightening" Said a purple haired girl with a grin. "Hi, I'm Natty. I'm nothing in my world, but here's I have an uncle named Giovanni which makes me a god here. Yay."

May glared, yYeah, but how old were you? Three? Three year olds do all kinds of embarrassing things."

"Actually, thirteen." Natty sighed and tugged on her side ponytail. "We were doing this wolf unit in school and I got a little carried away. You just have to be brave and tell him how you feel. You really don't have anything to loose, right May?"

"I guess…" May sighed, looking at the ground. She stiffened and looked back up. "Wait a minute, I don't know you! How do you know my name, you weirdo? How did you get here? You popped in out of nowhere!"

"You know, I think you should have that talk with your parents, _especially _if you're going into a relationship! If you don't know about the Ursarings and the beedrill, you're going to be in for one helluva surprise!" Natty giggled. "You know, I don't get that. Why'd a beedrill go and bang a Ursaring? They're not even in the same egg group and…aw, screw it. Go find the guy and tell him how you feel or you're going to regret it."

Meanwhile…

_Ring, ring, ring! Ring, ring, ring! Phone call! Phone call! Ring, ring, ring! Ring, ring, ring! Phone call! Phone call! _

"We should ignore the phone," Ash sighed, holding Misty close. "I just want to keep watching this stupid chick flick with you while pretending I'm just holding you because I like to cuddle, not because I'm trying to see how close I can get to groping you."

"Ash, you romantic fool," Misty rolled her eyes sarcastically. "Just for that, go get the phone." She paused the movie. Ash didn't move. Misty slowly turned her head over her shoulder and cocked an eyebrow dangerously. "Well, you are about to leave, aren't you? You know how much trouble you're going to be in if you don't pick that thing up. I _hate _the sound of a ringing phone. Makes me want to hit certain people named after trees with a mallet."

"…hate you," Ash snapped, jerking away from her and storming over to the phone. "Hello?" He grumbled.

"Hi, uh, Ash?" Drew said uncertainly. "Is May there?"

"No, May is not here," Ash growled. "May has a life, as I'm sure you know. She practically lives at the mall, doesn't she? If you liked her like I'm sure you do you'd know that. Instead of calling here and ruining a perfectly good movie, why wouldn't you go there? How about you grab a freaking rose and march your homosexual ass down there? I've been embarrassed and tortured through the whole week because of you and your pushing!"

"Uh, sorry?" Drew said, a little nervous. Ash was quite intimidating when he was angry.

"So, could you tell me why?" Ash snapped.

"I saw one of Misty's sisters, and she said that you might know where May was. She laughed and said that maybe you might be busy with her runt of a sister. So, I figured you must be at the gym at least and if I called I could figure out where she was. What's so bad about that?"

"I'm _not _a runt!" Misty shouted from the couch. "Next time I see you, I'm going to kick your ass straight into hell, Drew. Congrats!"

"Wait, you knew I was busy with Misty, and you decided to call anyway because you were looking for May?" Ash asked. Drew nodded with a 'duh' expression on his face. "Son of a…ugh! What is wrong with you? Are you obsessed were her or something? That's no reason for you to ruin someone else's good time. Just because you're not getting a girl doesn't mean I'm not. I've got a girlfriend now! Why don't you go get yourself one?"

"That's what I was trying to do, idiot!" Drew said snappishly. "I'm trying to find May so I can tell her I like her, okay? I'm trying to get myself a girlfriend, happy now? Could you please tell me where she is, if you know?"

"You know what, I will help you. I'll help set you and May up. You're in Cerulean, I'm guessing?" Drew nodded. "Fantastic. If you're not already there, bunk in the Pokémon Center. We'll get May over there, okay? You just sit, and wait, and we'll deliver your girlfriend."

"Thank you, that's all I ask."

"Right, bye," Ash said. He hung the phone up and picked up Misty, giving her a teenage piggyback ride. "Come on, Misty. We're going to go set up Drew and May and then I can find out how this stupid movie ends."

"So, tell me. Is it about me or the movie?" Misty asked sweetly. Ash didn't answer, but his face reddened. "Wow, you really were getting into that movie. Maybe I should just tell you how it ends, huh?" Ash jerked her on his back, making her shriek and giggle. "Alright, alright! You really did like the movie. Congratulations, Ash, you're now twenty five percent female! That's one fourth, in case you're bad at math."

"Hey I'm good enough at math to know that's twenty percent more than you'll ever be!"

_Smack!_

**

* * *

**

"Hey May!" Misty called, looking at May, now alone on her park bench. "Drew wants to talk to you, at the Pokémon Center. You better rush over before you miss him! That would be a real bad day for you, huh?"

"Wait, why does he want to talk to me?"

"Dunno," The two chorused.

"And if you can't tell by that response I'm going to have to wonder about how smart you really are," Misty giggled.

May's heart stopped in her chest. "So he really…he likes me? For real? You two set it up for me?" She grinned. "Thank you! Thank you guys _so _much! Thankyouthankyouthankyou! I'd hug you if I wasn't sure that it'd make you two fall to the ground and get all three of us in a world of pain." She gave another giddy giggle and bounced up and down. "I'm gone! I'll tell you how it goes! Oh, man, thank you!" She waved excitedly and raced off towards the Pokémon Center.

"Aw, now she's going to be all sweaty when she meets up with Drew."

"He won't care. They got separated from us and had a fantastic adventure, remember? I'm sure they both got plenty sweaty," Ahs chuckled. He froze. "Okay, that came out wrong. I didn't mean it like that. Don't tell May."

"Wanna go back to the gym to watch the end of the movie and make a sad attempt to touch something you don't have again?" Misty asked.

"Sure, why not?" Ash shrugged. He jumped to get her up a bit higher on his back before lumbering off to the gym.

It seems love was in the air in Cerulean…

* * *

Wow, that came out much better. Congrats to me. Hope y'all like it. Major modifications at the end, huh? You probably don't remember this one, anyway! 


	4. AMDM Rainbows

**AAML**

"Oh crap, my sister!" Max gasped. He ran his hand through his hair and listened to the persistent ringing of the doorbell. He lept away from the pretty blonde girl sitting next to him, her face flushed and lips swollen from the long make-out session they'd just had. "My sister doesn't know I'm doing this! She's going to kick the crap out of me for this!"

"Well my parents don't know about this crap either! I don't want to get in trouble, and they'll kill me for this! Do you know the rumors that'll start around town if they found out I was dating some guy who's only here for a week? I thought she wasn't coming home until five! It's only our thirty! Max, you idiot!" Cheyenne half shouted, taking out a brush out from her purse and fixing her hair. "Wasn't she out on a date or something?"

"Yeah, she _was_. With _Drew. _According to her diary," He grinned, "which didn't have that hard of a lock to pick, he's the love of her life! She shouldn't be here already! She should be late if anything! I hate her! Doesn't she know how to have a date?" Max slammed his open hand on the wall. "I'm better than her at dating, and I'm a year younger! She's going to kill me! May is going to kill me! No, no, I got to keep it cool." He took slow, calming breaths.

"You're a f--king retard who's going to get us killed. I hope you're happy."

"Put a sock in it, Cheyenne," Max snapped. He ran and opened the front door, smilling brightly at his older sister. "Hey, May! What are you doing home early? Aren't you supposed to be on a date...or something?"

"Hi, Max."

"What are you doing back here so early?" He said, more forcefully this time.

"It's just a half hour, what's the big deal?" May blinked, unlacing her hand from Drew's and crossing them over her chest. "You seem nervous. What have you been doing that you don't want me to know about, Max Maple? You're going to be in so much trouble if I find out..."

"Nervous, who, me? Ha! That's just because I'm a nerd. We're always twitchy." He turned away, inwardly smacking his forehead for being a horrible liar, and strode back to the living room, the older two right behind.

"Why, did we interrupt something?" Drew chuckled, eyeing the thin, pretty blonde Max had been, ahem, entertaining. "I'd hate to do that. They deserve just as much of a good time as we do, don't they May?"

"Oh, go pick a rose!" Max growled.

"Max, calm down." Cheyenne smiled, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You did interrupt. I've got this project due on Monday, it would've been nice to finish it today, but it's okay. Max is just a greatguy, he's been helping me finish it. It's nice to have someone with an IQ above room temperature to talk to sometimes, you know what you mean?" She put her brush away and stood up. "Oh, I love your bandanna!"

"What's it on?" May asked, crossing her arms, not fazed by the compliment. There was nothing but straight faced anger when it came to protecting her little bro.

"Rainbows." Max said immediately, and once again smacked his forehead inwardly. Cheyenne was right. He was a retard.

"Rainbows?" Cheyenne gasped in disbelief. She recovered quickly. "I, uh, mean, yeah. Rainbows. We had a wonderful discussion on rainbows. It was all about, uh, light refraction and stuff like that. You know how these teachers are. They give you the weirdest options to choose from."

"Rainbows." Drew snorted. He began to laugh, quietly at first, but soon his whole body was shaking as he tried to restrain his guffaws. "Rainbows? That's the most, hold on, I need a minute." He laughed, shaking his head and looking down on the floor. "You two...oh, Mew. May, take over. You can handle this situation. I can't even...freaking rainbows. Oh, Mew."

"With pleasure." May smiled at her boyfriend, then glared at her brother. "You really expect us to believe that you were talking about rainbows." Another burst of laughter from Drew. "You stupid little mini-Brock. I know exactly what you were doing."

"Don't you ever call me a mini-Brock!" Max shouted.

"Ooookay," Cheyenne said, her eye brows raising and falling once as she began to gather up her stuff. "I'm feeling really...awkward now. So, Max, here's my phone number so we can…continue our discussion on rainbows sometime. I really would like your help on the project. You're really good at," She blushed a bit, "Uh, doing what you do."

"Thanks, I'm free Sunday if-" Max began.

"I think it's best if you leave…" May trailed off. "Name?"

"Cheyenne," The young blonde smiled.

"Cheyenne." May concluded with a grin. "Max probably won't be free Sunday after I tell his parents what he's been up to." She glared at the boy. "In fact, I think he's not going to be free for a long, long time. Maybe even a month of busy, busy time."

"Okay." She picked up her backpack and left, glancing at Max a few times as she went. "Good luck. I think she knows."

"Max," Drew gasped, finally recovering from his laugh attack. "A dumber lie has never been told."

"I-It's not a lie."

"You really expect us to believe you?"

"Yes, yes I do."

"Are you sure this is the story you want to go with? You're positive you don't want to change it?" May asked.

"Nope. We were talking about rainbows. That's what I'm sticking with." Max nodded.

"Talking about rainbows." Drew snickered.

"It's two against two! Innocent until proven guilty! Get some other opinion!" Max shouted.

"Fine." May rolled her eyes and picked up the phone. After five rings (do I need to describe it, everyone has the same freaking ring!!!) May frowned. "Come on, Ash? Where the heck are you? You're always around when we don't need you, why can't you pick up now?" She snapped. The phone picked up to a shirtless, dripping, Ash.

"Where's your shirt? Hoping Misty was calling?" Drew teased. Ash turned red and frowned at him.

"No. Besides, Misty's here. We're having a water fight. Why'd you call anyway?"

"Well, you see, Max was-"

"Misty! Put the hose away! That's cheating! Water guns only!"

"I'm filling up both of our water guns up, Ash." Misty called sweetly. He looked disbelieving. "Darling." She added.

"Liar." He said bluntly. She frowned. "Darling." He mocked.

"Yeah, I know. I'll fill yours up now." She sighed and grabbed both of the hefty water guns.

"So, what's you problem?"

"Max claims him and his friend Cheyenne, a very pretty girl, were discussing a class project on rainbows."

"And?"

"Come on, Ash! You don't really believe him, do you?"

"Sure I do. it's Max. he couldn't lie if he wanted to. You can always tell when he's lying." Ash shrugged.

"That's the point, Ash. He was lying."

"Then what was he doing?"

"Making out like Drew and I, or Gary and Natty." May chuckled.

"No! I can't believe you just said-"

"GARY!" Natty screamed, sobbing into the couch. "Why did I ever leave you?" She froze and thought. "Oh, yeah you were a sexist pig who was too arrogant for his own good and I want you to _beg _me for forgiveness!" She shouted, then went back to sobbing. "But, Gary! Why did we break up? I love you!"

"She won't leave my house!" Ash hissed. "And she keeps eating my ice cream! I don't get any sweets anymore"

"Ash! If you don't hurry I'm going to be bored, and you know bad things happen when I'm bored."

"Whatever." Ash muttered. "Just trust your brother."

"He's a little player!"

"That's not nice to say to your brother!"

"Well, he is. Ever since he got contacts there have been girls over at our house every night."

"Oh, and have you ever seen him doing something with this girl?" Ash accused. Drew and May looked at wach other.

"Yes." They said together.

"Not with this one, but many, many others."

"Oh well. I'm still going with the trust thing. After all he is-OW!" Ash screamed in pain, jumping up and holding his back. "What the hell?"

"I was bored." Misty said innocently, cradling her paintball gun.

"Misty!"

"Watch it, Ash! I've got two hundred rounds, and next time, I'm aiming low." She chuckled darkly, lowering her gun.

"Uh oh, gotta go!" Ash shouted, hanging up the phone.

"I knew you'd see it my way."

"One day Gary will see it my way." Natty whispered. Misty growled and aimed her gun.

"I swear to whatever higher power there is, I will hit you in the eye with this if you keep talking!"

"I'll be quiet! Don't shoot!" She hid under her blanket and grabbed another bowl of chocolate fudge brownie batter ice cream.

"I love my new toy." Misty chuckled.

-akdhjfhakyghgf

"How are you not frozen?" Ash said, his teeth chattering.

"I'm used to the cold water. You're just a wimp."

"You're always swimming in the Cerulean Gym pool, I bet they don't have a heater in there, do they?"

"Sometimes…" She looked at the pitiful boy next to her. "Here, it'll warm you up." She handed him the baggy shirt she had worn over her bathing suit.

"Thanks." He shrugged on the shirt.

"So, what were you talking with May about?"

"Max. He was alone with this girl and they think he was making out with her."

Regretfully, inside out of hearing, Natty said, "Gary and I used to make out. We used to make out a lot."

"Did you say something?" Misty screamed at the door.

"No! I was silent! Do not hurt me, fierce warrior! I shall only talk once more to signal the beginning of the Prep revolution, soon after which, I will hide in a bomb shelter. Please, continue."

"What was his excuse, anyway?"

"They were just talking."

"About?"

"Uh, rainbows." Ash murmured. Misty started laughing. "Aw, come on, Misty, it's not that funny!"

Misty shook her head at him. "Rainbows? Ash, that's the dumbest excuse I ever heard! Please! They were-"

"Making out? I wasn't!" Max shouted, trying to sound offended. His plead of innocence wasn't working out too well, however.

"UH-huh. Sure Max."

"Give me proof. Some indisputable, totally believable, realistic proof!"

"Are you finished with your rant?"

"Yes."

"Good. I just thought I'd let you know, you've got some lipstick on your next." May smirked. Max rubbed his hand on his neck and fell it.

"Crap."

"well that's-"

"-the end of that. They were making out, Ash, and that's all there is to it." Misty chuckled.

"I trust the kid. They were talking about rainbows."

"oh, so that's what they call it nowadays." Misty rolled her eyes.

"Huh?"

"Oh, you know. We say making out, they say talking about rainbows."

"That's not what it means!"

"Yes it is."

"No it's not-"

"Yes, it is."

"Is not."

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Aw , come on, Misty. Some kid is really going to say to his girlfriend, 'hey, you wanna talk about rainbows?'" He said, pretending to come on to Misty.

"I don't know. I haven't really learned all that much about them," Misty replied, acting the shy girl. Ash chuckled seductively.

"Come on, I can teach you everything you need to know about these pretty little curves in the sky."

"Okay it sounds a little silly. But that's because you flirt like Danny Zuko from Grease, only worse."

"I flirt fine!"

"Yeah, sure!"

"I can!"

"I'll believe it when I see it!"

"Aw, come on, Mist. You know I'm the best flirt in town." Ash smiled slyly, scooting closer to the girl.

"Who are you comparing yourself to, Brock? I hate to say it, Ash, but even Brock is a better flirt than you are. Though at least you don't use those horrible pick up lines." She played her part once more.

"Ouch, that stung like a dull knife from the drawer." He winced, grabbing his heart dramatically.

"Speaking of dull…" She said, poking him playfully. He grabbed her hand.

"Hey, you've already tabbed my heart, why do you have to hurt me again?"

"Are you going to let go of my hand?"

"No you're only going to poke me."

"Gee, Ash, if you wanted to hold my hand, all you had to do was ask." Misty smiled. It faltered. She dropped his hand. "Okay, you're a good flirt."

"Only because I had the best to flirt with. "He shot her a winning smile.

"Okay, Ash, you proved your point. Cut it out!" She snapped, feeling uneasy.

"Why would I want to stop flirting with the infamous Misty Mermaid?"

"Ash, you win! Now stop it! You're making me feel funny." She said as her face flushed.

"Funny like a clown funny, or funny like butterfree in the stomach heart pounding I think I'm in love kind of funny?" He inquired sweetly.

"Ash, we're friends. Have been for years. If you like me, we would've been 'talking about rainbows' and dating already."

"Okay." He said. They were silent for a minute. "So, Misty. Do…do you want to talk about rainbows with me?" His face flushed.

"I-" Misty was cut off as Ash kissed her, using the last bit of courage (he has no testosterone, little freak) he had. "I like rainbows." Misty grinned stupidly.

"Yup."

"So, do you think Max wasn't making out?" Misty challenged.

"I think…" Ash began laughing. "That he was talking about rainbows."

"Oh, come on, Ash! Tell!"

"Listen, Nat, just give up your pride and come back. I know it's tearing you up inside, living without me." Gary snickered confidently.

"Oh, ge eat a bowl of ice cream!"

"I would, but you ate a;ll the comfort food in Pallet!" Gary shouted.

"Gpo to hell!"

"After you!" Gary huffed. They both screamed, and hung up.

"They needed more sunshine and rainbows in there life, don't you think?" Ash chuckled

"Natty doesn't like puns." Natty twitched.

"Ash. Run!" Misty shouted as Natty launched an attack, growling like a mightyena. "Never mock a depressed and angry woman!"

"Got it! Hey, Misty, I haven't said it in this fic! I love you!"

"I love you too, Ash! I love you too."


	5. AM Fighting

Very quick fic. Mostly dialogue. Little description. Here, take it.

**

* * *

**

"Oh yeah? Well…you're scrawny!" Ash snapped.

"Well you're…you're a pokémon master wannabe!" Misty retorted.

"Oh yeah? Well…you're scrawny!"

"What are you, a broken record?"

"What's a record?"

"It's a primitive CD player. My Dad used to listen to them all the time. Anyway, you're such an idiot!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Why do we have to fight all the time?!" Ash shouted, he's screaming now. So's Misty.

"I don't know! I don't want to! We're friends!"

"So why do we fight?!"

"Maybe it's because I like you!"

"Oh yeah? Well maybe I fight because I like you!"

Misty (still screaming with anger, by the way) said, "So are we going to go on a date?!"

"Maybe we should!"

"Where are we going?!"

"Maybe some fancy French restaurant you like!"

"Good! Pick me up at nine!"

"I will!"

"Good!"

"Great!"

"Don't be late!"

"I won't because I like you!"

_They storm off._

Brock gaped. "….that…was so weird…"


	6. AM Always Writting

Dear Misty,  
Mays kinda mad at me cuz I gave her some bad advice on her contest twoday. I told her to send her bwootifly up agenst a newmel.  
From,  
Ash

* * *

Dear Ash,  
I swear, you take stupid lessons, don't you? Here's the editing to your latest letter:  
May's, kind of, because, today, beautifly, against, numel  
Now, apart from that, a numel? That's a fire type you idiot! You know, the second I leave your IQ slips below double digits again! You're a stupid idiotic fool who's as blind as a zubat to the world around him! Anyway, I love hearing from you, keep writing (with grammar, please) How about you type and print them, like I do, huh? Maybe then you'd catch your spelling and grammar mistakes. Not mention I'd finally be able to read it.  
Your devoted friend,  
Misty

* * *

Dear Misty,  
I'm stupid? Everyone knows yer supposed to end a ledder with the word from or luv, not your devoted friend. My IQ is normal, thanks! And how am I blind anyway? I see just fine, twenty twenty vizon. The only reeson you dont is because you have crappy handwritting!  
From,  
Ash

* * *

Dear Ash,  
Editing:  
You're, letter, love, vision, reason, don't, handwriting  
Now, you are an idiot. (I love to start out my letters this way.) I didn't mean blind like eyesight, I meant blind like not noticing things. Idiot. Isn't it ironic that the only word you spelled right was a swear word? Well, not ironic, but funny. I don't have bad handwriting! You do. Jerk.  
Still Writing,  
Misty

* * *

Dear Misty,  
Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. Am not. I AM NOT AN IDIOT!  
From,  
Ash

* * *

Dear Ash,  
Editing:  
The whole letter is filled with incomplete sentences.  
Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too.  
Ha ha. For the last time, Ash, if you start it, I win. Since I've won, that means you're blind. Ha!  
Forever Victorious,  
Misty

* * *

Dear Misty,  
That's no fair! And what am I so blind about? Huh? Name one thing! Bet you can't! AND YOUR HANDWRITING DOES SUCK!  
From,  
Ash

* * *

Dear Misty,  
Misty, where are you? You haven't been replying. Come on, Mist! I even used a dictionary and Brock's and May's and Max's help! Come on! Please please please talk to me!  
Always Waiting,  
Ash

* * *

Dear Ash,  
Editing:  
Put commas after each please.  
—Misty

* * *

Dear Misty,  
What did I do? I'm sorry. Is it because I told you your handwriting sucks? I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean it. Please write. You're my best friend!  
From,  
Ash

* * *

Dear Misty,  
We have a feeling we know what he's blind too! You're in _love _with him, aren't you?  
Sincerely,  
Max, May, and Brock

* * *

Dear Max, May, and Brock,  
You know what? Back off. You shouldn't be reading those letters unless I gave you permission anyway. I wrote them. If you stole those from Ash without him knowing, that's tampering with the mail. That's a federal offense. The good news, you'll be seeing Officer Jenny real soon if you keep bugging me. The bad news, Officer Jenny is going to be very, very mad at you. I'd love to see all your faces.  
Seeking Revenge,  
Misty

* * *

Dear Misty,  
Tell him! I know he likes you and he's been so sad lately! Come on, Misty. It's annoying the heck out of us. He battles, he wins, but he's just not into it. His best friend is mad at him, or at least he thinks you are. Please talk to him. He needs to know you're not mad.  
From,  
May

* * *

Dear Ash,  
Forever I will watch you, though you left me far behind, and though I'll always want you, I'll just hold the ties that bind.  
How was your last battle, Ash? Good? I heard you won.  
Always Watching,  
Misty

* * *

Dear Misty,  
Forever I will wonder about what you say and what you mean, and though I still can't show it, I'm not exactly what I seem.  
I won! It was amazing. And, no more poetry stuff, okay? It makes my head hurt. I had to work for three whole hours for that stupid poem! Rhyming is hard! How long did it take you? Huh? I bet it just took five minutes.  
I type my letters now. No more lettering!  
Deep Denial,  
Ash  
P.S.  
I didn't want to tell you at first, but I think you should know. Brock and the others helped a bunch with this letter.

* * *

Dear Ash,  
I know.  
Your Devoted Friend,  
Misty

* * *

First Author's Note: Well, that was pointless. Why did I do that, the answer is the same as how many licks it takes exactly to get to the center of a tootsie pop, the world may never know.

Edited Author's Note: Look! It's a circle story! It goes 'round and 'round and 'round again! They never admit! They just leave little hints and stay in denial. Which makes this fic completely and totally pointless. Uh, yay? Also, I am the Queen of Pagebreaks. Bow before my awesome might. BOW I say!


	7. AM Sweet Sixteen

Well, I'm immensely displeased right now. No, not because I got my first completely negative review, no, no. But because the person who gave me that review posted a story in which they purposely wrote badly, just so they could see who would review it positively, as they said in their lookup. Yes, I am immensely displeased.

* * *

On the other hand, they told me to write descriptively, so gosh darn it, I'm putting in adjectives until my fingers fall off!

Oh, and I'm going to get lots of flames because I kinda went and annoyed flamers while I was sick, so…beware!

Disclaimer: Don't own pokémon or Full-Metal Alchemist

"So it's my sweet sixteen. I should be happy, I guess. My sisters have been treating me nicely, even calling me beautiful. I can even look in the mirror once in a while, looking at my sparkling ocean blue green eyes staring back at me, framed under long flamethrower hair, and actually say I'm pleased with my appearance. I got a car, we made the pool bigger with an outdoor area, which has been my dream for about four years now, and all is right in the world. I don't know why I'm not happy.

Forget that, I'm not fooling anyone. Everyone knows why I'm unhappy. I'm unhappy because of that no good dirty rotten (pig stealing great-great grandfather?) Ash Ketchum (oh…) from Pallet Town, destined to be the world's greatest Pokemon Master. I don't see why he won't be, he became master of my heart.

Oh, ew! That last line was worse than bugs crawling on me! Master of my heart? I have to stay away from my sisters before I'm a princess prep from fairyland for good! Romance is well and dandy and all, but this? I need to hit my own head with my mallet! (Dang it! Why does my sense of humor always destroy me?!?!)

It's kind of funny, the argument we got into that kept him from coming to my birthday party, and leaving me stranded here at the white tables surrounded by bright confetti and pink balloons by the outdoor half of the pool, while the moon's shinning this romantic light down on me like it's some hilarious joke.

You see, the funny thing is, it was about a TV show. That's right, a show. It's called Full-Metal Alchemist, and we got into an argument about it that hit a little too close to home. Here, let me elaborate:

We were sitting on that green velvet couch (you know, the one in every freaking house in the pokémon world?) that had become our home on weeknights once my sisters had come back from a busy night of party crashing for our daily dose of recorded shows. Ash would be stretching out, as usual almost kicking me off the sofa in the process, through I'm pretty sure that was on purpose.

There's these two characters in that show, one's name is Edward, more commonly known as Ed and the other's called Winry. Edward is a stubborn, headstrong, rush into battle without thinking type. Winry is also stubborn, but caring, thoughtful, and likes to hit Ed with a wrench. I don't suppose you see where I'm going with this. You do? Figures. Just to finish up the equation, they fight about the dumbest things like me and Ash. Ash and me? Ash and I? Oh, I don't know!

They were beginning an argument when our discussion started.

"Hey, Ash. Do you think Winry's pretty?" I asked, looking at the blond, miniskirt wearing, small top dressed girl. (Hmm, sounds like Misty when the show started…except with shorts instead of a skirt.)

"Lust is pretty," he said without removing his eyes from the screen.

"You're just saying that because her boobs are absolutely out of proportion and she's got to have a push up bra on or something. She's like the old version of Barbie if Barbie was human sized. Oh, and on top of that, she's wearing a skintight uniform." I accused. He continued to mindlessly shove popcorn into his mouth, chewing with his mouth open. "Close your mouth, Ash. You're in the presence of a lady."

"Manners, Shmanners! I don't see any ladies," he argued around am mouthful of food. I pulled out my mallet. "No! I'm sorry!" He whimpered. I sighed and put the mallet away. We made a rule that I can't hit him if he apologizes. Stupid idea, isn't it? "And I'm allowed to look at Lust, aren't I? I'm a guy. I mean, they named her Lust for a reason."

"Yeah, but what about Winry?"

"I guess she's nice," Ash shrugged. You see, and this is where all the trouble began. For some reason I'm not really sure about, we sort of, well, took on the roles of the characters. Every insulting thing he said about Winry felt like a slap across the face, and, you know, sometimes these things just get out of hand.

"Just nice? Come on, I think she's pretty. Just because she's a tomboy doesn't mean she's not pretty. And from the looks of it, so does Ed."

"You think Ed likes her? Nah! He's a state alchemist, he could have an hot, gorgeous, easy girl he wants. Why would he go for anything less?" He scoffed, playing with his hat.

"Why shouldn't he like her?" I said, my voice beginning to take on that familiar twinge of anger. "She's pretty, right? I mean, it's not like she's drop dead beautiful, but she looks pretty nice and not a whore, even if her outfit is kind of revealing. She just wears it because it's comfortable. And they've been friends forever! Why wouldn't he fall for her?"

"Lust isn't a whore! And not everyone falls for their best friend, Misty! Sometimes your best friend is just your best friend, especially when they hit you with something like a mallet all the time, and never give you any support!" He shouted, his eyes finally off the screen and glaring at me.

"Oh, she's not good enough for him then? She's just a next door nobody?"

"Exactly!"

"Well if that's how you feel, maybe you shouldn't be in here anymore."

"Maybe I shouldn't!" He jumped up and stormed out the door, the ever faithful Pikachu on his heels and leaping up onto his shoulder.

And that was the stupid argument that stopped him from coming to my sweet sixteen. Stupid, isn't it? Here I am, in a beautiful white dress at an almost over party with my fork repeatedly stabbing a piece a cake," I sighed, looking at Natty.

"Okay, when I asked you what's wrong, I was just hoping you'd say something like I really shouldn't eat this cake, and I could take it from you. I saw it on Boy Meets World once, I was hoping it would work now. So, can I have that?" She pointed to the mutilated cake.

"How can you be so cold?"

"I just want some cake!" Natty snapped. "Here comes your boyfriend, so go away and gimme that!" She snatched the cake from the plate and ran, leaving me to look over at a smiling Ash, in a tuxedo.

"I know you must have a lot of offers tonight, but I don't suppose you'd dance with me Miss Waterflower?" Ash asked.

"No," I said stubbornly. "The party's over and there's no music. What's the point of dancing?"

"I could sing," he suggested teasingly, straddling a chair and resting his arms on the back in a relaxed position.

"That just turns me off to the idea even farther," I said, starting to smile. I caught myself and frowned. "Go away, Ash!"

"I saw that!" He shouted happily. "I got you to smile, I got you to smile!" He sang, poking my arm and trying to get a rise out of me. I continued to frown. "Not having fun?" I didn't respond. "Ah, jees, I'm sorry I missed your sweet sixteen, Mist. But I want to make it up to you, let's dance. Please?"

"Not even if you paid me," I snarled.

"One dance? I implore you to join me on this splendid example of a dancing arena?" He laughed. "I looked up all of those words for you in the dictionary. And you know I'm not very good at reading."

"Fine, Ketchum. One dance and you'll leave me alone?" I said, standing up and smoothing the dress around me.

"Sure, but I'm warning you. I'm like a Pringle you can't have just one."

"Ash, the motto for Pringles is once you pop you just can't stop or something like that," I said, a smile working onto my face.

"Oh, that's not what I meant," he laughed nervously. Ash leaped up and grabbed my hand, dragging me over to the boombox. "Any song you prefer, m'lady?"

"Cut the sweet talk and hit play," I said.

_I like to move it, move it. I like to move it, move it. I like to move it, move it. I like to, move it!_

Ash and I exchanged confused glances at one another. Then, at the boombox, back at each other, boombox, each other, and finally we couldn't hold it in anymore and burst out laughing. The cloud of tension just sort of lifted from our shoulders, just like it always did.

"So, change the song?" He laughed his finger already pressing the skip button. I nodded and wiped the hair from my face, my laughter subsiding.

_We're soaring, flying. There's not a star in heaven that we can't reach. If we're trying, then we're breaking free!_

"NO!" We both shouted, remembering the night May made us watch High School Musical until we could recite it without a single hesitation. We both dove for the button and pushed it, praying the song would stop.

_You're beautiful, that's for sure._

"I'll take it" I nodded, walking out onto the dance floor.

"Misty, you're supposed to let me lead you out there!" Ash shouted, running up to me.

"Well, that would be romantic. But not everyone falls for their best friend," I said, a little sting still lingering in the words. Ash put his arms around my waist and we started to dance. Nothing from him, nothing from me, just the occasional sound of splashing pokémon in the pool and the blaring boombox in the background. Finally, Ash muttered something under his breath. "Hm? I couldn't hear you."

"Maybe Ed does like Winry," Ash whispered, his face bright red. My face began heating up as well.

"It's pretty obvious Winry likes Ed, don't you think?" I murmured, suddenly finding my shoes extraordinarily interesting.

"To everyone but Ed," Ash said, trying to laugh through the awkward moment. I opened my mouth to add something else, but he cut me off. "So, would Winry go on a date if Ed asked her?"

"I'm not sure, probably," I began to look up from my feet.

"If she said yes I bet Ed would pick her up at eight. You know, if she thought it was okay and all," He said nervously.

"Ash? Are you asking me out?" I grinned teasingly. He blushed and began to stutter. "Because if you were, I'd say yes."

"Maybe," he said. "How awkward do you find this?"

"A little," I admitted. Ash began to smirk a bit, and shifted his hand from my waist to his shoulders and gave a vicious shove backwards, sending me tumbling into the pool and the ice cold water. "ASH KETCHUM!" I screamed, he burst out laughing.

"Happy sweet sixteen Misty!"

"Hey, you didn't get me a present!" I complained with a grin, beginning a backstroke to warm me up.

"Sure I did! I got you the greatest gift of all…me!" He proclaimed.

"What are you, ten?" I huffed.

"I hope so, we had more fun when we were ten. I was an idiot, but I was a fun idiot. So come on Misty!" He held out his hand. "Pull me in and we can be ten again. It'll be fun." I snickered and yanked him in.

I watched him pop up for air and spread my arms like I was Vanna White and showcasing myself. "I'm not ten. I'm a beautiful girl with a handsome boyfriend! I'm a fabulous sweet sixteen."

* * *

Wow, hello cheesey ending. You know what, blame my teachers! They gave me three freaking exams on one day. And if I got two questions wrong on CPR, I would've flunked the exam and the course and they wouldn't have let me move up! How evil is that? Leave a review and maybe and idea or two! 


	8. AMDM Dancing and Singing

I have two things, and only two things to say. One, I do not own pixie stix or Harry Potter. Two, thank you EVAN AAML for helping me get this story up and running. If it wasn't for you, I'd have absolutely no idea how to work the hilarious image of singing Drew into a story. Thank you. Oh, and a third thing. I apologize for the rude humor, but you have no idea how pure this sounds compared to what I hear and say at my lunch table. I sit with the perverts who don't rape people and are considered freaks so…sorry. And I put up a warning on the summary!

* * *

Here lies Ash Ketchum. No, no. He's not dead. He just appears to be. In his typical outfit on a typical evening, Ash Ketchum's sugar high has finally worn off, leaving him bored, and giving his friends and rivals absolutely nothing to laugh at. This, as you may have guessed, is never good for our heroes. Misty is exhausted from trying to get Ash away from the Pixie Stix, terrified he's go into cardiac arrest from a sugar overload. May is exhausted from her job of keeping her brother from following Ash's lead and jumping out of a second story window. Max is in a daze because May wasn't particularly good at her job and he jumped off anyway. Brock and Tracey are exhausted from…things…(sorry, it's my second favorite coupling) Drew is, well, hey, he never moves unless something bad is happening to him, May, or his Pokemon. Gary is exhausted from laughing so hard, and Natty is writing song lyrics down on her arm with a washable red marker so she won't forget them. 

(A/N: This paragraph is my way of getting them there, please ignore it if you don't like randomness) "You know what, we should do something," Natty declared. "What should we do?" Out of nowhere, the Harry Potter theme song begins to play (nobody looks around because, hey, they're used to theme songs coming from nowhere) and a white owl swoops in from a window, only to fly back out again. "Thanks Hedge-Cutters! Let's read what this says!" Natty pauses for a moment to read the letter. "Oh! According to this Review, uh, I mean, letter, we're going to a karaoke dance club thing! Which if they didn't exist before do now!"

"Do we have to go? I want to watch Ash crash into stuff," Gary said with a sadist's smile growing on his face.

"We can watch him do that at the dance, Gary," Natty grinned. "Come on, let's go."

"This place is full of drunks and prostitutes," Misty whispered under her breath.

"Yeah, but it's full of a lot of other people too. You shouldn't judge based on appearance, Misty," Tracey scolded, beginning to take out his sketch pad as they sat around a table and waited for some service.

"Oh look who's talking! Mr. I'm going to sketch every pretty girl I see is lecturing me about judging by appearances! Well you know what?" Misty took his sketch pad from his hands and ripped in half. "Hypocrite!" She sat down in a huff, her arms crossed over her chest. "Sorry, I lost my temper. It comes from living with three older sisters and only having one bathroom."

(this will all have a point later, bear with me) "BURN!" Natty shouted, pointing at Tracey. "You got your notebook ripped up."

"What's a burn?" Ash asked innocently.

"It's insulting someone in a funny way," Misty explained. "Apparently, somebody's been watching outdated comedy shows."

"Are you mocking all that is That 70s Show?" Natty gasped. "Oooh! Riku's going to hurt you bad when she finds out about that!" She turned to Ash. "Now, say you started crying, which you do constantly because you're a wimp."

"Hey!"

"Get over it, Ash. You're a wimp," Misty rolled her eyes.

"Thank you, Ms. Waterflower. Now, if you were crying, I could call you a girl, though it may be sexist, by saying something like "oh real brave, Ashley. I like your skirt." And then I could shout burn. Though, that's a really bad burn. Just practice and I'm sure you'll get better."

"Here, let me demonstrate," Misty smiled as the waitress set down the drinks. "Hey, Tracey, could I have some water?" She asked politely.

"Sure, Misty!" Tracey smiled brightly, letting Misty take the drink from him. She immediately took the drink, and downed half of it, only to spit it back out into the cup. "Hey!"

"Burn," she grinned.

"Well, Misty, I had a feeling you were going to do that, so I spit in it right before you gulped down half the glass," he snickered. Misty gasped, her eyes wide and scrambled for a napkin to spit in. "Burn!" Tracey shouted enthusiastically, leaving Natty, Gary and Ash to snigger at the mortified girl.

Meanwhile…

"Hi, uh, I was wondering if you'd come sing a duet with me?" No, it wasn't Brock (he's off doing something else that I don't care about), but a shy girl, desperately hoping for the infamous Drew's attention.

"Sorry, but I'm going to have to turn you down. Hey I'm sure there's someone else you can sing with," he shrugged, flipping his hair back arrogantly with a sophisticated smile. The girl's cheeks began to redden, and she barely managed to stutter out a thank you before giving a fangirlish squeal of delight at having Drew actually _talk _to her and racing back to her table where her many friends also squealed as she relayed her tale to intently listening ears.

"Why'd you turn her down Drew?" May asked, her eyes looking at her twitchy hands fiddling with her napkin.

"I don't know her all that well. Besides, I don't like the girl being the one to ask, I'm into chivalry, and chivalry doesn't include the girl's making the first move."

"That has nothing to do with chivalry," May snapped. "Besides, you shouldn't turn down a girl just because she asked you. She might've like you. You know, like I-" May bit her lip and cut herself off, quickly coming up with a lie. Drew looked at her suspiciously from the corner of his eye. "Like I know that they're acting like Brock whenever he sees a girl, but maybe it is just nerves and they really like you."

"That's not what you were going to say," he accused. "But you are right. If I turn down every girl that asks I won't be singing any duets tonight."

"Don't be so full of yourself. Not every girl is head over heels for you."

"Only if they're matched up with someone else,' Drew scoffed. "You know, all they girls that already have boyfriends or husbands for that matter?"

"That's not true, I mean, look at…Misty!" May said. Misty looked up from the napkin she was still spitting into.

"Yeah, May?"

"Are you going to ask Drew to sing a duet with you tonight?" May inquired. Misty's eyebrows slowly raised and she gave May her 'are you nuts or stupid' look. "It's to win an argument, yes or no."

"No, I'm not going to sing with your boyfriend," Misty rolled her eyes. "You don't have to worry."

"He's not my boyfriend!" May shrieked, her face turning red. Misty snickered, realizing how much fun it was to tease someone about their love life for the first time, and then began to help put sugar into Ash's water with Gary and Natty. "Anyway, that proves it, Drew. Not every girl is in love with you."

"I said every girl that isn't paired up," Drew explained, looking pointedly at Ash, who was getting a lot of close contact with the red haired mischief maker as her tried to pry her away from his drink screaming 'no more sugar, Mist, quit!' "Everyone else loves me. Admit it, even you're starting to like me as more than a friend."

"I am not!" May hissed.

"Right, so, you wouldn't mind if I got up on stage and sang a love song to the girls in the audience, and you, because we're just friends, right? And, if we're just friends, no part of you would be jealous or embarrassed, just angry because I was making you a fool."

"Right," May blinked uncertainly, trying to understand what Drew was saying to her. "Hold on, I just said that I didn't like you, right?"

"Did you?"

"I don't know! That's why I asked!" May shrieked.

"Do you like me or not?" Drew asked, crossing his arms over his chest. And so began May's inner struggle, did she tell, or did she keep her scary stalker type love of him a secret? "Hello, May? Earth to May?" Drew asked, May staying silent for a little too long.

"Huh? Oh, right," she smiled, coming out of her daze. "I don't like you!"

"Fine then, I'm going to sing," he said cockily, leaving May to blink in confusion.

"May, did Drew just say he was going to sing?" Max asked, watching Drew leap up onto the stage in a graceful leap as several girls around the room squealed with fangirl glee. "Because, he's on stage."

"Oh my goodness golly goshes!" Natty shouted, leaping up on top of her chair. "Sing a country song! Sing there Ain't Nothin' 'Bout You by Brooks and Dun which none of us here own!" Drew froze and stared at her suspiciously.

"Why would I sing a country song?"

"Because it'd be hilarious, duh!" Natty rolled her eyes. "I thought you were smart! Besides, I know you know it! I've been singing it this whole week! And besides, they've got the little screen thingy so you can learn the words!"

"Fine, I'm singing a country song!" Drew huffed, frowning as the intro started. "Happy now?"

"Yes," she smirked, sitting back down.

"_Once I thought that love was something I could never do. Never knew that I could feel this much. But this yearning in the deep part of my heart for you. Is more than a reaction to your touch. It's a perfect passion and I can't get enough,_" Drew sang, and surprisingly, started getting into the song. With a smirk, the arrogant teen leaped from the stage and began walking to the nearest all girl table, causing them to shiver in excitement.

"_The way you look, the way you laugh, The way you love with all you have, There ain't nothing bout you that don't do something for me, The way you kiss, The way you cry, The way you move when you walk by There's ain't nothing bout you (there ain't nothing bout you) That don't do something for me,_" He was trying his best not to laugh as he strode around the table, slowly shaking his head at each of the girls who seemed so desperately hopeful to be asked to dance with him. He quietly strode to the next table, and the next, rejecting each girl as he went, leaving a trail or broken hearts behind him.

"Hey, guys, you don't think he's slowly moving towards our table, do you?" May gulped nervously. The only response she gained form her table was smirks and a "Misty, how many sugar packs have you eaten?" from Ash.

"I dunno, lost count 'round twelve. Hey! Hey! Let's dance, Ash! Oh! Ohohohohoh! I know something even better! We could run around in circles until I throw up! Doesn't that sound like fun? Woo-hoo! I'm on such a sugar high," she cackled, dragging Ash out onto the nearly empty dance floor.

"_In my life I've been hammered by some heavy blows. That never knocked me off my feet. All you gotta do is smile at me and down I go. And baby it's no mystery why I surrender. Girl you got everything,_" Drew continued, carefully avoiding the overexcited duo of pokémon trainers, who currently were running around in circles, giving little "woo-hoo's" every once in a while, and continued his walk down heartbreaker road."_The way you look, the way you laugh, The way you love with all you have, There ain't nothing bout you that don't do something for me The way you kiss, The way you cry, The way you move when you walk by There's ain't nothing bout you (there ain't nothing bout you) That don't do something for me._"

"Oh no," May gulped, squeezing her eyes open and closed as Drew walked up to her table, casually leaning on the back of her chair. She felt two cherry blossoms bloom into full flower on her face.

"_I love your attitude, your rose tattoo, your every thought. Your smile, you lips and girl the list goes on and on and on,_" he pulled a rose out from his jacket and handed it to her. "Red roses mean deep, passionate, everlasting love. Did you know that, May? Of course, this rose is a bit more burgundy than red, which means I'm telling you you're more beautiful than you think." He inquired sweetly over the intro. May then discovered that, despite popular belief, her cheeks could most definitely blossom much farther into cherry blossom hood, crossing from the pinkish tint into what else but the deep red rose Drew handed to her. He tapped the microphone for a minute, then shrugged. "Okay, I'm done," he said, tossing the microphone into the crowd where it was promptly caught and sold on Ebay by one very lucky guy. "Did you like my performance?"

"What if I said yes?" May suddenly snapped, finally being pushed over the edge.

"Huh?" Drew asked, his eyes widening in surprise.

"What if I said yes? And, what if I gave you back this rose, and said I thought it was more of a burgundy than a red one?" She asked, shoving the rose back into his hand. (A/N: Now, this is slightly important people. I consider this type of behavior to work with May. As you may have noticed, May doesn't deal with embarrassment well, and after she reaches a certain point of embarrassment, she sort of, cracks and gets pretty darn mad. This is my opinion, I'm sure you have your own. However, please no 'it was totally OOC' reviews!) "And what if I asked you if you were going to go on a date tomorrow with me? What would you say?" She hissed.

"I'd say I knew it," he said coolly.

"I've had it with the tough guy routine!" May shouted, drawing attention from almost everyone else in the room, excepting Ash and Misty, who were finally crashing in a corner, drunk tired from their sugar high. "You know what? I'm tired of being the only one who loses their cool whenever we have a conversation! I'm going to get a reaction out of you if it's the last thing I ever do!" And with that statement, she pulled Drew up to his feet by his shirt, and shoved her mouth onto his. Poor Drew did give a reaction, a pretty good one, his eyes widening and a nice blush crawling over his cheeks. Around the room, a nice batch of whistling and hoots erupted. That brought May to her senses enough to gasp. "Oh my gosh, I just kissed my crush! Oh my gosh, I just told him he was my crush!" She cried again before racing to the bathroom.

"I'll pick you up Saturday then?" He asked, running his finger along the top of his shirt and clearing his throat nervously. "Well, I'm sweaty. I'm going to the bathroom now and trying not to throw up from all the stress."

Meanwhile…

"Hey, Ash? I think, y'know I think I could still dance a bit more," she said, casting a sleepy flirtatious smile in Ash's direction.

"That's nice," he yawned. "Who're y'gonna dance with?"

"He's short and sitting right next to me," Misty scoffed.

"Really?" Ash asked in surprise. He glanced down at Pikachu. "Hey buddy! You get to dance with Misty! Aren't you lucky?" He grinned. Misty promptly leaned over and smacked him across the head. "Oh! You meant me, huh?"

"Mmm-hmm. But you probably don't, I mean, you don't like me or anything."

"Only if you don't."

"Huh?"

"I don't like you if you don't like me. But if you like me then maybe I'll like you, not to say that I do if you don't because, I mean, I don't if you don't. But, if you do, then it's possible that I could like you back…" Ash rambled uselessly.

"Ash, shut up," she gave a little smirk, dragging him out on to the dance floor for the second time that night. "Alright, now, I put my hands on your shoulders," she did so. "And you put your hands on my waist."

"I put my what on your where?" Ash gasped, his cheeks turning red.

"Hands on hips," she instructed. "Now, just rock back and forth a bit. Jees, Ash, don't you know how to slow dance?"

"No, I don't slow dance. And the music is too fast, anyway," Ash said. And, as in the case in many a story, the music changed as if on cue, to something much slower. "Well that's better," Ash grinned, not really listening to the song. His grin faltered as he noticed Misty starring at him, her head cocked to the side. "Hey, Mist, whatchya lookin'-" Ash was cut off as Misty darted forward to kiss Ash for a moment, before pulling back.

"Did you like-" she began, right before Ash answered her unspoken question by forcing his lips onto hers once more.

"Should we laugh at them and the song now, or later?" Max grinned wickedly.

"Later, Max," Tracey smirked. "Give them their moment," he smiled at the new couple. He glanced over at Natty and Gary, who were flirting so pathetically (since Natty isn't very good with boys she doesn't kick) it was almost embarrassing. "Go ahead and mock them, though."

And in the background, there was a sweet little song playing for the perfect fairytale romance:

I know we've been, Friends Forever, But now I think I'm feelin' somethin' totally new. And after all this time, I've opened up my eyes, Now I see. You were always with me!

Could it be, You and I, Never imagined? Could it be, Suddenly, I'm fallin' for you? (I am falling!) Could it be? You were right here beside me, And I never knew? Could it be, That it's true, That it's you...

* * *

Aw! Cuddly ending! Everybody hug something adorable and press the review button! …Or not…I'm too tired to care. 


	9. AM Satisfied

Okay peoples, this STARTS OUT WHEN THEY WERE STILL TRAVELING TOGETHER! I hope you all read that. Remember, they're about twelve, traveling with Brock, and there will be flashbacks, oh yes, there will be flashbacks.

You reviewers rock! I'm almost at 50! The pokemon community is so much more welcoming! Then again, we are watching a children's show, you have to have a high tolerance for sappy kindness...Enjoy my story!

* * *

"Ash?" Misty asked quietly. "Come on you idiot, wake up!" I felt something poke me in the back and slowly opened an eye. 

"What, Misty?" I asked, rolling over tiredly to face the annoying girl I'd met a few months ago. I'd gotten at least five badges already. That's right, _five._ Isn't that awesome? I mean, I'll only ever have a total of eight, and now I'm more than halfway there! "It's not even morning yet, and there's no food around, let me sleep."

"No, Ash. I will not let you sleep," Misty snapped. "We have a situation and we have to solve it now! So get off your butt and let's get into the woods away from this camp. And bring Pikachu so no bugs come for us," She said, stomping away and expecting me to follow. Yeah right though, like I would ever follow her just because she asked. "Ash, what are you waiting for? You better get your butt over here right now!" I leapt up from my spot and raced over. I mean, she has a mallet for Pete's sake!

"What's the problem, Misty? Is it some stupid girl thing?"

"It's a girl thing and a boy thing," she corrected, trying to find a dry spot to sit down on. Guessing from the way she was searching, I knew it was going to be a long talk, so I helped her look.

"There's no such thing as a girl thing and a boy thing," I argued. "There's boy things, and there's girl things. They don't like to do the same things. If they did, they'd be tomboys."

"Oh, right, Mr. Pokemon Master. You can't think about anything both girls and boys like to do?" She scoffed, finally finding someplace to suit her needs and plopping down on it. She then began to ruin her spot by yanking grass out of the ground, and throwing it into the little bit of wind we had going that night, and soon after I was copying her. "I can think of a few."

"Pokemon training doesn't count! And what does this have to do with the problem we're having? Well, problem you're having. My life's going great! I mean, I have five badges now! Hey, do you want to see them?" (I wonder if he constantly did that, you know, when they were walking on the trail, just randomly showing his friends his badges. He shows everyone else…)

"Ash, I was there when you got them. I don't need to see them. And this does involve you."

"Oh yeah, how?"

"Do you remember this morning?" Misty asked. I began to look up into the sky in thought.

_Flashback…_

Brock was laughing. We couldn't figure out why, but he was laughing his head off. Every few minutes we turn around and yell at him. He'd stop laughing, apologize, and we'd start walking again. Five minutes later, he'd start laughing again, and we'd have to repeat the cycle all over again.

"Okay, what's so funny Brock?" Misty shouted.

"Nothing."

"Don't say nothing! I know there's something!" Misty shouted, flames appearing in her eyes as she swiftly brought her mallet from wherever she keeps it, I'm not really sure I want to know anyway.

"Well, it's kind of hard not to laugh. Just walk for a while, and if I start laughing, I'll tell you why. It might not happen any more though, you two are pretty far apart," He snickered. We each exchanged confused glances, and began walking again.

"What is wrong with Brock?" Misty whispered to me, shaking her head. "I mean, it's not like we've got kick me signs on our back or something." Our eyes widened and we reached back to check, but came up empty.

"How weird," I whispered back. "Maybe he's suffering from some weird disease that makes him laugh when girls walk away from him, and it's finally gotten to the point where he can't hold it in anymore."

"Were you dropped on your head as a baby?" She snapped.

"What do you mean?" I asked. She glared for a minute, and the topic was then abandoned. "But what could it be? Maybe there's a stain or something on our clothes."

"No, that couldn't be it. He would just start laughing every time we turned around instead of waiting five minutes."

"Hey, guys?" Brock said. We turned to the grinning future pokémon breeder. "Now, be careful. But I think if you look down slowly, you won't scare if off." He said, before bursting out laughing once more.

Our eyes slowly moved down , the two of us coming to a stop and hoping whatever kind of creature it was wouldn't go away. Unfortunately, it wasn't a creature, but it did become rather obvious what Brock was laughing at. Misty's fingers were laced with mine, something we apparently had been doing without even knowing since we had gotten up this morning. We gasped and leaped away from each other with a scream.

"Ash, you pervert!" Misty shouted, holding a hand to her flaming cheek, as if that would somehow cool it. Her entire frame was shaking, her eyes widening in surprise. I couldn't help but thinking she looked a lot like Gary when Professor Oak had caught him staring at this girl Maria in her town, all nervous and panicky and embarrassed.

"What's a pervert?" I couldn't help but ask. I was pretty curious, always asking questions, though my mother almost always said I was too complicated for me to understand or she'd tell me when I'm older.

"A pervert is someone who's interested in sexual things, like nudity or intercourse, and will do whatever it takes to get it," Misty snapped. She was a good teacher, actually. At least she was way better than my mom. Of course, I had another question.

"What's intercourse?"

"Ask your mom, Ash!" She snapped, spinning on her heel and running farther up the path. I think it was to get away from me. It kind of hurt.

"Did…did I do something wrong?" I asked Brock. "I mean, I wasn't happy about holding her hand!" I felt my face redden. "But why would she run away like that? Did I make her mad? Is she going to hit me later?" I asked in horror. And then, I thought of something even _worse. _Yeah, WORSE than getting hit by Misty's mallet! "She's not going to cry, is she, Brock? Nah, she wouldn't cry. Misty doesn't cry!" I groaned and rubbed my head. "Why is she so weird?"

"She's a girl."

"When did that happen?"

"Gee, I don't know Ash. When she was born?" He scoffed.

"The stork controls if you're a girl or boy?" Brock didn't answer, and I couldn't help but think that Misty would.

_End Flashback_

"Yeah, I remember," I sighed. "But I don't get it, what does the stork have to do with us?"

"Ash…how did you get from holding hands to the stork?" She asked, rubbing her temples. She only does that when she's super, super stressed and agitated. It means she won't get out the mallet, because she's mentally exhausted or something like that. Usually, I run away because I know she won't hurt me, but I stayed that night. I don't really know why, or maybe I do and I'd really don't want to tell.

"Forget about it," I shook my head. "Did you think something…you know…happened? When we were…you know…walking, kinda close," I shifted uneasily, swallowing and playing with my hat.

"No!" She denied, her face red. "I mean, I didn't think anything happened. Unless…did you think something happened?" She accused, looking at me sharply. I yanked out a handful of grass mixed with dirt and grit my teeth.

"Maybe not," I mumbled.

"So, do you want to try again?" She asked. I literally jumped. I guess Misty saw, because she began to blush again. "I mean, just to prove that there's nothing between us. Not because of anything creepy, because we're like brother and sister, best friend kind of thing," she covered.

"Sounds good," I murmured. We crept our hands towards one another until they were cupped softly together. "Well, I don't feel anything special." It wasn't a lie. I mean, my heart pounding really fast and my hands sweating isn't special. I feel it all the time during a battle.

"Me neither," she said.

Still, neither of us pulled away. In fact, we kind of…scooted closer together. I don't really know why we didn't move, we just sat there. And get this, we sat next to each other until we fell asleep! I woke up the next morning, and Misty was there leaning up against me, so I just fell back asleep. The next thing I know, I'm wide awake and Misty is nowhere to be found. I walked back to camp, saw her in her sleeping bag, and things went back to normal, I guess.

"You seriously don't remember that, Mist?" Ash asked, closing his journal and cocking his head to the side. "How could you not?"

"I just don't!" She hissed, looking away with the same expression she'd had all those years ago.

"Wait a minute!" He jumped up. "You do remember, don't you? You're not still embarrassed, are you? Come on, it's back when we were eleven, twelve. But you're still embarrassed!" He teased, jumping around and saying the phrase in a singsong tone. "You're still embarrassed! You're still embarrassed!"

"Ash Ketchum!" She shouted furiously. She grabbed him by the collar and brought his lips down to hers. She stood up, taking him with her, still holding him by the collar, until she decided she was done. "Who's embarrassed now?" She snapped, racing out the door.

"Still you," He smiled, holding his fingers to his lips. "I'm just satisfied."

* * *

Wow, look at all the pretty rulers! Anyway! I dind't like the ending too much, I always have some stupid thing relating to the title. I TAKE SUGGESTIONS THROUGH REVIEW!!!!!!!! 

Two more reviews and I hit fifty as stated on April 4, 2007! Come on, you know you want to!


	10. AMDM Left Behind

Well, I'm sure none of my readers are happy that it took so long to update, but I have not been able to get on a computer. First I wrote, like, fifty stories to post. I made shortcuts for the story, then deleted the original because I had thought that the shortcuts I made were actual files. So those were gone forever and wouldn't open. Then my Dad's computer wouldn't work because of the programs he downloaded, so I couldn't update when I still had the stories. After that, my family came. They kept coming and trying to read my laptop going "hey, what's that? Can we read it?" I don't enjoy that. At all. So I couldn't work on it anymore. So we got a new computer and my dad hogged it for forever so now I'm finally able to write. Wheeee! Oh, and by the way, I'M A PUBLISHED AUTHOR IN A LEGITIMATE WRITING CONTEST!!!!!! I WON! TAKE THAT NONSUPPORTIVE TEACHER! YOUR LITTLE PET LOST TO ME!!! All right, I'm done. Surprising, though, isn't it? I'm bad with fanfiction, but good with my characters! Okay, here you go. Have fun. And this may seem weird, but this fic is written from a very special point of view…May and Drew's, alternating.

"I hate Ash Ketchum! I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!" Misty collapsed onto her bed with a sigh that tilted into a whimper. I guess I can sympathize with her. I felt bad after Drew left, but Ash was pretty hard on her. Sure, Drew didn't invite me to come along. I can't blame him either, I mean we're _rivals _after all, but still. Ash was pretty cruel. I don't think he was acting that mean on purpose, but…maybe you should just hear for yourself.

I had just come around the corner to what I guessed at one time had been a pleasant conversation. There they were, Ash and Misty, standing stiff in a full fledged argument. They were practically on fire with anger, sending Pikachu and Togatic crawling under the table. Ash had just gotten back from Sinnoh, placing fourth overall in the competition. Of course most of the people he had met more than once along the way were there, like Casey and Drew and Misty and even Togatic had left that Magic Kingdom to congratulate him. Max kept saying that Drew only came because he knew I'd be there. He's currently locked in a closet somewhere…sorry, I'll get back to the story.

"What do you mean I can't come?" Misty snarled. "I can go wherever I want! You don't own me!"

"You can't come! I mean, really, Mist-" He began in a slow kind voice. I couldn't help but think he sounded like an adult talking a child out of having a cookie before dinner.

"Don't you call me that! You think that being all sweet and caring is going to make it better? Think again Ketchum, what's wrong with you? You let Brock come, you let Tracey come. I'm sure you'd let Max join you on your stupid journey! Oh, and there's no doubt that you'd let Dawn or May go on your little trip around the world! I don't get it! My sisters have finally said, go ahead Misty, take a year off. It'll be fun. We'll take care of the gym. And now you're saying I can't go with you?"

"Exactly! You should just stay at the gym, where you're needed," He encouraged.

"No, Ash! I'll just follow you then, like I did at the beginning. I want to travel again, and I don't want to go alone. I'm sick of the gym. It's boring! I want to see new people again, see new towns, different pokémon, go on adventures-"

"No!" He said a bit too hurriedly. "If you follow me, I'll make sure I loose you. I'll wake up early and leave the campsite, just stay home, Mist."

"But why? What, because I'm scrawny? Or maybe because I'm just not pretty like the other girls you hang out with," her voice cracked and her eyes started filling up with tears. "Or maybe I'm just not good enough for you? After all, the great Ash Ketchum doesn't give a damn about looks. He cares about what's on the inside, and I'm just not up to your standards, am I?" She took a deep raspy breath in and turned away.

"Mist," Ash sighed, putting a hand on her shoulder. She slapped it away and spun to face him again.

"Don't, Ash, just…just don't." She took a few steps backwards as she spoke, then ran up to Mrs. Ketchum's room, temporarily Misty's, breaking down into hard sobs. I walked out to where Ash could see me, starting to follow the girl up the stairs.

"Nice Ash," I glared at him. "All she wanted was to come along with you, and you just had to be a jerk about it. Real nice."

And that brings us here. Misty's crying and I'm trying to console her, even Natty's trying to help. We're a good team, actually. I boost Misty's confidence while Natty chips away at all the good and bad qualities Ash has, and boy oh boy is she chipping away.

"It's okay, Misty. You're the one who's too good for him."

"No I'm not," She cried.

"Yes you are, I mean, think about him. He's stupid. You traveled with him, you know how much of an idiot he is. Besides, you can't even compare yourself to him. Everybody's stronger, faster, smarter, taller-"

"No, he had a growth spurt," Misty debated.

"That doesn't matter. Misty, you're one of the sensational sisters! You're one of the pretties girls I know."

"I'm flat and you obviously haven't met my sisters or looked in a mirror."

"Ash obviously hasn't looked in a mirror either. I mean his hair is all messed up, he's not all that cute, and his clothes don't match," Natty declared proudly. The last comment actually did help Misty a bit. Her tears stopped flowing and she looked at Natty, trying not to giggle.

"Uh, Natty, they kinda do. Your clothes are the ones that don't match today," She looked at the girl.

"What's wrong with purple and yellow striped pants with a pink top with an eevee on it?" Natty asked, looking at her clothes with surprise. Misty and I started giggling, and before long laughing of loud. "I don't get it. How come whenever I try to cheer someone up, it always involves laughing at me?" All three of us were laughing, and it wasn't really that funny. But I guess when you're sad, you look for any kind of cheer to brighten up the situation. I was really hoping for Misty and Ash to get together though, I'm sure they're still in love, so why would Ash do that? I wondered if Drew might know…

"Hey," Natty said lightly with a glint in her eyes, "I want to get my friend some roses for her graduation, I can't remember what the colors mean though. Wanna look it up?"

"No, let's do that later," I said hurriedly.

"This isn't about Drew, is it? May, I hate to stereotype, but all pokémon coordinators are gay," Misty giggled. I don't know if I can blame her, she may just be trying to keep cheerful. I would too if the guy I liked told me to leave him alone.

"That's not true! I'm sure that"

* * *

"Not all pokémon coordinators are gay," I thought. Gary, Ash and I are talking about relationships. Every five minutes I keep whispering 'not all pokémon coordinators are gay' under my breath, but all those slash stories they write about celebrities…I'm starting to wonder about my sexual orientation here. Well, there was this big argument between Ash and Misty something bigger than their usual stuff. Now Misty's crying and Ash, who should be bouncing up and down like his psycho corphish (sp? Big time!) because of his high stakes win is banging his head against the wall repeatedly. Oh, I'm out of cake too. So I can't just push it around in circles and give the false impression that I'm paying attention. I have to listen now. Actually, Ash isn't talking, at least not in a straight line. He's talking is circles so he doesn't have to answer the question. 

"Come on, Ash. Why can't she travel with you?"

"I told, she thinks that-"

"For the last time, Ashy boy," –Not All Pokémon Coordinators Are Gay– Gary rolled his eyes as he put his feet up on the table and leaned onto the back to legs of his chair. "We know what your little girlfriend thinks, but why won't you tell us the real reason?"

"She's not my girlfriend," He muttered.

"All right, so we now we know that Ash is still in denial. Which means the reason he wants Misty to stay at the gym has to do with his little crush on her and that's why he won't tell us," Gary said, more dictating the situation then instructing me.

"I don't like her like that!" Ash snapped.

"Can I go? I have to go do something," I said, getting up and starting to walk away.

"You leave and I'll tell May exactly what red roses mean," Gary said with a sneer. I froze, my shoulders stiffening. Now I know why Ash thinks this guy it so bad that he puts a 'that' in front of his name. Manipulative b-----d.

"A red rose can mean congratulations!"

"No, red ros_es _can mean congratulations. A single red rose means I love you, you know that, don't you?" He smirked.

"Well, yeah…but she'll never believe you. Nobody likes you."

"I can show her a website."

"But…"

"I'll also share the fact that yellow roses mean friendship but you didn't give her those, did you? Oh, and if you want to pull the whole 'I didn't know what they meant' stunt," Gary pulled out a tape recorder.

"I hate you," I muttered. I really do. He's become completely psychotic once he started dating that Natty girl.

"I was rooting for you, Drew," Ash said from his wall, not quitting the relentless banging. "Sorry."

"Well, if you're still rooting for me why don't you just hurry up and tell us what's wrong." I tried to scrape some icing from my plate.

"Alright, you really want to know?" Ash sighed. He came and sat down with us. "I'm going to this new place, right? But it's for training like I've told everyone. It's for a Chosen One thing. There's a new prophecy." Ash swallowed and started blushing now. "The last few times this stuff has happened it always seems like the girl I'm with gets hurt. When I think of it happening with Dawn or May, I mean, the worry's there. I don't want them to get hurt, but, I don't know. It just seems like taking Misty is putting her in real danger and I really, really don't want her to get hurt."

Oh, sure. Gary pretty much proved that I have a crush on May and you're over here going, I don't mind that much if May gets blown up. I hate him. You know what, I think I just hate people in general. Yeah, you know what? People suck. And I just stabbed my fork on my plastic plate causing it to break. I looked up innocently. "Oops," I said nonchalantly. Then, a thought occurred to me. How could I get out of this situation? Simple! Common sense. "Ash, why don't you go tell her?"

"She's got guards," Ash mumbled. "May and Natty are both really mad at me. They'll probably get mad the second I knock on the door."

"I'll take care of Natty and I'm sure Drew can convince May to step outside for a minute, right?" Gary smiled.

"Sh-sure," I stuttered. Wait, I _stuttered_? Me? I don't stutter. Man, have I got it bad. I stalked up the stairs to bring down May. Though I could've sworn I heard Ash behind me as I left…

"…Gary, there's no cassette in that recorder."

"I know, Ash. That's the intelligence of my plan and my understanding of human nature."

"I don't understand. By the way, the roses? Does a single red one really mean"

* * *

"I love you? It couldn't mean that," I murmured as I stared at the computer screen. It was nice that we had gotten Misty's (why does my spell check say that that's wrong?) mind off her boy problems, but this was just raising my own troubles. I don't get it. If Drew was able to come out enough that he'd give me a rose that says "I love you" why wouldn't he say it? It makes no sense! 

"Uh, M-may. Cuh-could w-we tuh-talk?" I knew that was Drew's voice, but he doesn't stutter.

"Well that was an unexpected side effect," I heard Natty beside me.

"Huh?"

"Oh, uh, I'll be the tie and you be the hat."

"What are you saying?" I tried to figure out the weird code she was speaking in.

"Haven't you ever heard that joke before? You go ahead and I'll hang around," Natty scoffed. "And everyone thinks I'm stupid just because my clothes just match and I have imaginary friends. She can't even figure out a pun."

I rolled my eyes I walked out into Drew. Within seconds, Gary came up and pulled out Natty. After that, Ash was coming up the stairs. "Oh no he doesn't," I said. Drew grabbed hand and started pulling me the other way.

"It's not what you think," He said. "He'll explain. Come on."

"So this was all just a plot to get me out of the way?"

"No, May. It's not that," he swallowed. "Okay, it was that. But I do have something to tell you."

"Okay, what? You better make it fast," I huffed. My heart started beating faster in my chest. It shouldn't have. I knew it wouldn't be anything near what I was expecting. Wait, what was I expecting? A heartfelt confession of undying love? The roses weren't a fluke? And, in case I hadn't already guessed, the roses were for me, not my pokémon? Maybe I'd been drinking too much punch. It wasn't alcoholic, I hope.

"I don't supposed you know what red roses mean?" He asked. My breath caught in my throat and my eyes widened. He looked at me and smirked. "Apparently you do. They mean congratulations." My expectations just shattered. I looked at the floor and tried to hold back tears. "But I didn't give you red roses. I gave you a single red rose," he lifted my chin to show off a teasing grin. "And that means I love you."

"Really?" I asked with hope.

"Yeah. May, I really, really," he began, trying to keep a straight face, but burst out laughing, "love your beautifly."

"I can't tell if you're joking or serious! That's not funny!" I shouted, stomping my foot uselessly. How old was I, two? "Cut it out! It's not funny!"

"Yes it is. You just didn't see your face," Drew laughed. He calmed himself down. "The roses were for you," He smiled. "May, could I maybe," Drew turned bashful. "Could I kiss you?"

"You're asking permission? If this was a story those psycho fangirls would say you're acting very OOC, mind telling me why?"

"OOC?"

"Out of character," I giggled. Maybe I read a few too many May/Drew fics on those celebrity worshipping websites, but it was so cute, I couldn't help it. "You're not one to joke, Drew. That's more of Ash's styles."

"My jokes are funny. And you never answered my question."

"You never answered mine," I retorted.

"We're all fools in love. My inner fool apparently makes mean jokes and acts like an idiot."

"Then my inner fool says yes, you can kiss me, Drew," I smiled. And I won't go into detail here, but there were fireworks, huge fireworks. Once that was done, Drew and I witnessed a very cute scene unfold before us.

"So, you were just overprotective?" Misty asked, sniffling with a small handkerchief in her hand. "It's not that you don't like me, it's that you like me too much?" She looked at him with the sweetest, cutest face I'd ever seen. The two of them looked like playground lovers.

"Mmm-hmm," Ash nodded, looking at his shoes. "I just wanted you safe."

"You don't have to worry about me, Ash. I can take care of myself. I wandered around for a few days in the wild before finding you. Besides, I've heard that you take control whenever I'm not there. Somebody has to keep you in line. Might as well be the scrawny runt, right?" she gave a slightly sad smile.

"I don't think that they're prettier than you, or that you're scrawny or ugly or anything. I like you just the way you are. And I especially like who you are on the inside. Even if you are a little bipolar."

"Like-like me? Or just like me?" Misty asked, blushing. So red faced Ash leaned forward and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Both," He laughed. He ran down the stairs, leaving a confused but happy Misty to follow him a few seconds later.

"Aw, how cute! It's like two little five year olds."

"They're sixteen," Drew snickered. "And that was a pretty bad love confession. At least mine was entertaining."

"Don't ruin it!" I huffed. "Besides, I think it went"

"Beautifully," I smirked at Gary. "Now, tell me, who's the most wonderful powerful elaborate planning matchmaker in the entire world?" He sighed and rolled his eyes at me. "Yeah, I know you had a part, but who planned it? Moi! Now say it."

"You are."

"Say all of it."

"You're the most wonderful powerful elaborate planning matchmaker in the entire world."

"And?"

"And you should get reviews for this, even if has been forever."

"Good boy," I kissed his nose. "Now, all you pe-op-pol-lees, peoples for the slowbros, I really am terribly sorry, and I hope this makes it up to you. It's more contestshipping then pokeshipping, but I tried a bit a seriousness in there and I was playing with different POV's, though I KNOW they're all horrible. Good reading, and press the button!"


	11. DM Beginnings In Bathrooms

Oh-kee-doh-kee! Now, I've noticed that my chapters got completely screwed up because I deleted one that was no more than an author's note. So, I was wondering if anybody actually read chapter nine, since everybody reviewed it as the chapter before? If you haven't, double check, because I actually didn't entirely hate that one.

Anyway, due to many reviews telling me that contestshipping was a must, and one asking me to do a "May and Drew get into an argument, confess, and May runs away in horror fic" suggested by contestshipper. So, here you are!

P.S.

Does anyone else here hate Dawn and supercontests with a passion? Who freaks out that much over a bad hair day, but walks around all day with boys? I do love those pokeball seals though. And one last thing… HOW ON THE HIGHER POWER'S GOOD GREEN EARTH DO YOU COMPLETE ANY OF THOSE CHALLENGES, AND MAKE THE PERFECT FREAKING POFFIN? WHO HAS THAT GOOD OF A HAND-EYE COORDINATION ANYWAY?!?!?!?!?! Sorry, on with the show.

FALSE AMUSING START!

Okay, I was just shoved onto the computer and screamed at to "write at dictated" by my psycho girlfriend who still can't flirt. Yes, it's me girls, Gary. Faint now if you must. You know I'm much better than Drew. The Powers-That-Be just decided I was so incredible, they had to add another one, unfortunately, I'm one of a kind. Therefore, I'm much, much better than Drew. Oh, sorry. She's screaming at me now. I have to write her stupid 'eyewitness' love story. She saw May and Drew get together. Big deal! How did she see it? Well, I'm not going to say that she's installed cameras everywhere (including the bathrooms, though she says she respects privacy and looks away if someone comes in alone) and has them set up on a big screen TV behind the Rapidash and baby ponyta picture in the room, but I'm not denying it either.

Now, here we go, period. Oh, I'm not supposed to write that. She hit me, the witch. Uynjekwl.9. She slammed my head into the keyboard. Help me.

Drew was sitting, paging through a contest magazine while supercontest magazines burned in the fire. He muttered on about something horrible about supercontests, and how they stole all the contest thunder and press coverage. He barely looked up when May walked in through the door, but it was obvious his heart sped up and…hold on, she can't know that!

That's it, I shoved him off the computer. I simply can't stand him any more! I shall write on my own now, in third person. Starting next indented paragraph…

REAL, SERIOUS START!

Drew didn't even look up when May walked into the room. He'd learned it was best not to encourage her pestering behavior. Actually, he learned that if he ignored her long enough she'd eventually leave and follow her own advice on any problems she was having with contests. It's not that he didn't like helping her, or he didn't want to give away prize advice. He just knew that he had to train her to follow her own logic if she was ever going to amount to anything. That…and he didn't want to be pestered just now.

"Drew, could you help me with something," She asked, smoothing her shirt and pants. May slapped herself inwardly for her nervous habits. She concentrated on keeping her voice cool, only to let her hands give her feelings away. What was wrong with her?

"Whatever it is, figure it out yourself. I'm not in the mood."

"Please, Drew. It'll only take a second, I swear!" She exclaimed, hating herself for sounding too desperate. "It's not even about contests, it's about other stuff. Just please listen for a moment and I'll go!"

"Well, if it's not about contests I probably can't help you anyway," Drew shrugged. "Maybe you should talk to your parents about it. If it's some girl thing you could always call one of those numbers in my phonebook on the table. It's full of fans just like you."

"No, Drew," May shook her head. "I don't want to talk to one of them. It's about one of MY girlfriends, and I need guy advice."

"Try Ash."

"Ash is an idiot."

"Valid point. Try Brock. Sure he's a little girl obsessed, but I'm sure you could hold his attention long enough to make conversation," Drew shrugged. He licked his finger and turned the page. May ground her teeth to keep from whimpering. Better mad than sad, she guessed.

"No, Drew. Brock isn't going to be any help. The girl has a crush on a guy exactly like you, and she wants to make a move but doesn't know how," May tried again. She cleared out her bickering emotions to try and reason with him. "Please help, Drew. I don't want to give bad advice!"

"You need to trust your own opinion," Drew sighed. He was starting to get irritated now. He really hoped she wouldn't start screaming, he was sure that he'd raise his voice too. Probably not too loud, of course. But it'd still be raised.

"Drew!" May screamed. Drew frowned. He hated her scream. Her voice was to shrill, too high. What did she do, inhale helium when she got mad like a Jigglypuff? D—n. That was really annoying.

"What, May? For the last time, I don't care! I don't care about you and your stupid problems with your stupid friend! Why would I? Could you just leave me alone, May? I'll see you at the next contest."

"No, Drew! Why can't you just talk to me for once? Give me a straight answer! I know you don't like me much, but you could help! Or at least stop being bipolar! Hate me all the time or be nice! Couldn't you even pretend?"

"No, I couldn't May. So what if I'm bipolar? Why do you care? At least when I'm nice I stay that way for longer than five seconds. You're one to talk about bipolar. Maybe you should get some medication along with some fashion advice," Drew sneered. It wasn't even something he'd insult on. Why did he do it? Because he knew it would hurt. Why did she drive him over the edge?

"You talk about fashion sense? YOU? Why the heck did I ever come to you for advice? It doesn't even matter who I have a crush on, you couldn't even help me make a move on yourself if Einstein gave you half a brain! You'd still be one half short!" She screamed. She froze, catching herself. Drew's mouth dropped open, unbecoming, yes, but he couldn't help himself. But May. She was having one bad day.

She spun and raced up the stairs, not aware of what she was doing. Whenever she got embarrassed with anyone in her house, she went to her room, her comfort zone. In her house, that was the first door on the left from the stairs. It always faced the sun during the hottest part of the day, leaving it warm and comfy almost all year around. It took her only a second after locking the door for her to realize that this was not her house, and this was not her room. She barely contained a pathetic "oh, no" when she realized where she was. A bathroom. You may wonder what's so horrible about a bathroom. Bathrooms are solid, if small there's rarely much carpet. Sound seems amplified in bathrooms, with nothing to absorb it and no technology to drain it out. Few people have waterproof radios, and Drew wasn't an exception to the rule.

Also, when May's embarrassed, she tends to cry. This time was no exception. She started crying, biting her fist doing nothing to muffle the sobs. May threw herself against the back wall, the one near the window, and crumpled. She let herself cry. After all, she couldn't stop it, and now matter how muffled she was she was positive Drew could hear her. May knew she was no tough girl, but who likes others to know their crying if there's no advantage to it? Unplanned tears were mortifying, especially when your crush begins to tap on the door, guilty and overprotective.

"May…I'm sorry."

"I don't want to hear it, go away!" May shrieked. She snatched the glass cup full of toothbrushes and threw it at the door with a crash. "There's more in here! I dare you to come in! I dare you! Just see what happens! I have great aim!" It was a lie, of course. Her aim was horrible unless she had the smooth comfortable weight of a pokéball in her hand, but he didn't need to know that.

"May, really. I shouldn't have been so…negative. I could've heard you out."

"Drew, I don't care! Just leave me alone for a while, okay? Isn't that what you wanted, to be alone."

"Unlock the door, May."

"Don't talk to me that way! I'm not a scared pokémon! I'll go in a bit. Just, leave me alone. You won't hear me leave," She murmured. Drew pulled out a credit card to slide in and undo the lock. (A/N: Supposedly that works on certain doors.) After a moment of fiddling, he finally managed to slip it open. May's expression switched from demurred to anger. She grabbed a soap boat and threw it at his head, though it landed on his shoulder.

"I shouldn't have been so mean. I'm sorry," Drew consoled, fully expecting her to run into his open arms.

"I'm not a fangirl, Drew. Sorry isn't really enough. You were a real jerk," She shook her head and slid back against the wall again, starring up at him. "It's not a romantic movie, I don't forgive and forget that fast."

"But isn't that what two people who love each other do, forgive and forget?" He tried.

"Nice try, but no," she smiled at him with pity. She stood and walked past him, giving him with a small kiss on the cheek. "It's a start though."

Now, it's weird ending I guess. However, very rarely in real life have I noticed that people instantly forgive and forget. Now, please, I have writer's block people, PLEASE SUGGEST IDEAS! Do you see that? Not reviews, even. Not little comments I'm begging for (though they'd be great) just ideas! You get credit and everything! Well, that's all for now, but check out chapter nine, even if you think you may have read it, okay? Just check. Have a great one!

Sincerely,

Natty


	12. AMDM Lover's Rain

Now, I'm a little shaky on this! This comes from Freaky Friday, my mom's romance novels when I run out of Stephen King on vacation, and a warped little mind. This should be a little more serious than usual, but I don't know. My fingers do what they want, my brain's barely there for them.

Summary: Okay, magic causes May and Misty to switch something involving emotion. I think it's what emotions they cover up. It's weird, I know, but trust me, it's not half bad. Also, I sound like I'm playing May weaker than she is. It's not what I mean. What I mean is that May doesn't really take charge in the situations I'm describing. I know in contests and adventures she can really step up to the plate and do incredible. Please, if you wish to hate me, hate me for hating Dawn. With a passion.

* * *

By the way, I was watching Pokémon, and Ash is at least eleven since they said at the end of the first season, and I quote "wow it's been one year since we've been in Viridian city." He ages, gosh darn it, he AGES!

* * *

No big deal, May and Misty wandering down a country road, a small cottage barely visible in the distance, though that was mostly a fact that the mid afternoon heat was warping the air in front of it. It was kind of unusual, for Misty at least. Sure, she'd been with May before, but this was different. Whenever she was around May, it was with other people specifically boys. Now May had made an effort to try and be friends with her, and Misty was all for that, but it was just so awkward to her. May seemed like and intelligent, nicer, version of her older sisters. She wasn't a tom-boy in the least, unless you stood her next to Dawn. She smoothed her shirt and pants self-consciously, trying to listen to what May was saying, but barely pulling through. It was something about make-up.

"It's really hard matching some of this stuff with my skin tone for contests, you know? I can't tell what would be the best color, some times. Do you ever have problems like that, Misty? When you get dressed up?"

"No, not really. I don't wear too much makeup. I put on blush, grab my mom's lipstick, and then let my sisters play with my hair for a while. If they aren't there I just let my hair down. It's too much of a hassle, and I'm not really into all that kind of stuff."

"What are you into then?" May asked, sounding genuinely interested in. "The only thing I don't want to talk about right now is food, video games, or dessert. Anything else is fair game. It's just that, it's all the boys talk about. Don't you get tired of it?" She looked at Misty, who was shifting uneasily and staring at her feet.

"Well, that's all I really like to talk about," she murmured, blushing. "Books aren't too bad; most of the shows I watch on TV are battling though. I used to watch makeover shows, and then I realized that they weren't all that nice. After all, most of them didn't even ask to be made over. How would you feel if someone walked up to you on the streets and basically said, 'out of everyone here, we think you're the ugliest, and we want to completely change the way you look. Not just with makeup, no, you're too ugly for that, we have to give plastic surgery too.' " Misty rambled, before looking over at May who had started giggling. "What'd I do?"

"Nothing, I just thought that was funny," She shrugged. "Do you want to talk about boys?" Misty turned red for a second and shook her head wildly.

"You'd better be talking about celebrities, because if not I'm out," She snapped, turning her embarrassment into anger. If this was girl talk, she was pretty sure she wanted to stay out of it. She needed some tomboy girlfriends.

"Oh, come on. That's one of the biggest reasons I wanted girl talk. That fluttery feeling, butterflies in your stomach just because the guy you like is near, don't you just love it? It's so incredible, indescribable, I love it."

"I'm all for romance, as long as I'm the one in control. That fluttery feeling amazes me too, but just because I get it doesn't mean I have to let it control me. I won't let the guy boss me around either. You have to be careful about that. Boys always like taking control," Misty said, swerving so they we're walking towards the cottage. "Maybe it's a little shop, let's go," She smiled up at May.

"Oh, forget it! I'm all for following you guys in this heat, but shopping is where I draw the line!" Natty shouted, jumping up from the bushes. "Oh, but if you find some chocolate in there, I'll pay you for it later!" She dived back into the bushes.

"Okay, why does she insist on stalking us anyway?" May rolled her eyes. "We invited her to come along! GO SPEND TIME WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND, NATTY!" May grabbed Misty's hand and dragged her closer to the store. "Come on then, let's have a look around!"

"Sounds good," Misty smiled as they stepped up to the porch.

"You girls certainly have different opinions on romance," the old woman croaked, rocking back and forth on her porch in an old creaky rocking chair. Her mouth twisted into a smile that seemed almost demonic. Misty trembled for a second at the shivers racing up and down her spine. There was that bad feeling again. She shouldn't go in this store. She knew it. How many times had that feeling occurred when she traveled with Ash? But…she really wanted May to be her new friend. It couldn't be too bad could it? Just a overreaction. It was just a sweet old lady, and she KNEW this time that she had no resemblance to anyone in Team Rocket.

"I…I guess we do," Misty murmured, trying to edge towards the door.

"That's my trinket shop. I gave it to my son a few years ago. He's a good boy, great relationship with his wife," she continued. "Come here, girl, let me get a good look at you. Both of you." She edged them on with a twisted finger. May stepped forward first, her heart beating much too fast. She felt that little twinge of intuition that thrummed through Misty's veins, but she'd learned to tune it out over the years, to concern herself with brighter feelings.

"Um, hello ma'am," May tried politely.

"Shush," she snapped, her lip curled in an ugly snarl to reveal crooked teeth. Eventually, she nodded and smiled to herself. "What a sweet girl, you are. So open, so kind. I'm sure your friends complain you talk too much."

"Yeah, a lot. I really hate it though," May's voice suddenly picked up to hyper speed. "I mean, sure I talk a lot but it's only because I have a lot to think about. Just because those boys can't understand that girls have thoughts and feelings that are different than theirs doesn't mean we shouldn't be heard!"

"Of course, darling," she chuckled. She looked at Misty. "Come here, girl, don't be scared," She crooned in her rusty voice. Misty's nose wrinkled involuntarily at the thought of approaching the woman. But May bumped her forward, and Misty tottered towards her reluctantly. "Lean forward," she gave her sweetest smile. Misty could hear her heart pounding in her head, adrenaline rushing. She had a VERY bad feeling about this.

"Uh, no thanks," she laughed nervously. The old woman lashed out with lightning speed and yanked her face close to glare into her eyes. Misty swallowed to keep her lunch from coming up at the woman's breath, which smelled like a rotting carcass.

"You guard your emotions, don't you? Hiding behind a wall, I see," she grinned. Misty managed to tear herself away.

"Thanks for sharing," She muttered. "Nice to meet you." She snagged May's shoulder to drag her into the shop. "Come on, May. I don't like this woman, she's pretty freaky, don't you think?" She whispered.

"You should look at the table, the one inside, hon. I'm sure you'll both find it fascinating," she cackled as the door closed behind the two. It was an eerie little shop, dark with strange souvenirs. They'd gone in hoping for something cute, something adorable, maybe they'd even find some clothes. All they found here were strange talismans, and things that looked like they should've stayed in the stone age with the mystics and dark arts.

"Hey, you think this is the table she was talking about?" May asked, racing over to a stone table, gray and solid standing at waist level. She ran her fingers over the smooth surface, then yanked them back. "Ew! It feels like an Ekans' skin, touch it!" She giggled. Misty placed the palm of her hand on the table, barely containing a gasp. Was it just her, or was the table…_moving _under her hand, but May was right. It really felt like an Ekans against her flesh. "What are these words?" She murmured.

"There's some on this side too," Misty replied. (A/N: don't worry, it's not 'when what you see is what you lack, selfless love will change you back', but I apologize for the horrible rhyme.) Deep rivets had appeared in the table, spelling out a couplet, two sentences that rhymed. She couldn't help but say them out loud, apparently May couldn't either.

"_When our princes' love we both attain, return our thoughts with Lover's Rain."_ The whispered together. They both froze as they felt a strange tingling. Soon after which, Misty's heart throbbed, her stomach fluttered, and her thoughts became hazy. May's brow furrowed together, her temper short circuited, and she suddenly wondered why she wasn't with Drew right now. They looked up at each other with surprise.

"Hey, May. Do you feel, kind of, I don't know, funny?"

"You know what, Misty, I really just don't want to talk about the way I feel right now" May told her, then shook her head. "I really just want to get back to the pokémon center and talk to Drew. I'm sure you could talk to Ash or something."

"Ash?" She jumped, her face began to redden. "What would I like to talk to him for?" She said as her voice leaped up an octave. She blinked and cleared her throat. That was weird, she didn't usually do that. "Uh, I mean, let's go." She followed May docilely out of the store, eyeing the woman on the porch. "It's…it's a pretty table," Misty murmured, overcome with fear once more. This was too weird.

"Misty, come on, I want to see Drew!"

"Coming!" She called racing after her new friend. "So, are you sure you still don't want to talk about training?" Misty asked a bit hopefully. May shook her head no. "Right, sorry." Inwardly, she slapped herself. Why was she acting so…timid? Funny, it was sort of like she was acting like…May…

* * *

"So, anyway, I was watching this show about Thanksgiving…" Natty began to the room full of boys, namely: Tracey, Gary, Drew, Ash, Brock and Max. They stared at her in confusion. "What, don't you know what Thanksgiving is?" They shook their heads. A slow smile crept over Natty's face. Oh, did she ever have an idea. "Everybody who's name doesn't start with a D or an A, follow me so I can explain Thanksgiving, the Forth of July, Easter, and the government of the United States."

"This won't end well," Gary muttered as they were ushered from the room, conveniently as May and Misty strode in.

"Drew, would you mind if I talk to you for a minute?" She inquired as Misty sat down on the other side of the couch, too terrified to sit next to Ash. Drew raised an eyebrow at May before grabbing a magazine. Usually, May would've blushed and walked away in shame at such blunt ignorance from the boy she loved, but this time…her temper flared. How could he ignore her like that? "I changed my mind that wasn't a question."

"What do you mean?" Drew scoffed. "I'm not moving."

"Drew don't do it!" Ash hissed under his breath, remembering seeing that very same look on Misty's face.

"Huh?" Drew asked in confusion. May gave him a backhand slap to the side of the head and dragged him to the top of the stairs by the back of his shirt. "May! Let go! What is wrong with you!?!" He screamed.

"Funny, I wanted to ask you the same question," she glared. Those negative emotions she hid, the ones that she knew she wasn't supposed to talk about if she wanted people to keep liking her, bubbled to the surface, and came out as fire. "What's wrong with you?!"

"What did I do?" He complained.

"Most of it's what you didn't do, but why not start out with what you did?" She screamed so loud that Ash and Misty could hear her downstairs, making them jump, though their awkward silence remained. "You criticized me, hard. You said I was horrible at the one thing I love to do! I respect you, Drew. Lots of people respect you! I'm sure you're going to be talked about by magazine as the jerk of pokémon contests once they stop ranting about how hot with two T's, an A, and a W you are!"

"D---, May," He swore in shock. "What are you talking about?"

"The idiot you see when you stare in a mirror," May deadpanned. "You were cold, horrible. What's more important was you never paid attention to me. I tried and I tried but nothing I did was good enough! Half the reason I went so far in contests was our rivalry and maybe even just because I wanted to see you again! I left my friends for you. I walked away from Ash and Brock to follow you to Hoenn!" (Or wherever, I don't remember where exactly. But THAT'S why I call her a stalker. We all should know why Misty's a stalker.) She glared at him as her voice lowered, still holding all of its venom. "Drew…I hate you. And I'm going to hurt you. So you should start running. Now."

"What? Why?" He gulped, thought he was pretty sure he had a clue to what she meant.

"Because when I catch you, I'm going to show you exactly how I feel about you. And I really don't think you'll want that," She stepped to the side and looked down the stairs. "I'll give you twenty seconds."

"May, this is ridiculous," He said, his eyes widening. May continued to count down. "May, come on! Please!" He protested. She was at five now. It was probably best not to risk it. He raced down the stairs in a rush, out the door and down the dusty road.

"Seven, eight, twenty!" She shouted, skipping over half the numbers. She took the stairs four and five at a time, her fists clenched tightly. Ash and Misty looked at May, calling out to her in hopes she'd tell them why Drew was running out with a mixture of fear and joy on his face. "I'll tell you later!" She pounded down the road, seeing Drew's figure a bit up ahead. She didn't feel the runner's high you supposedly get from racing, but she did think she understood why Misty lost her temper so much. It felt really, really good! Apparently Drew wasn't used to running away from fangirls on a country road with nowhere to hide, because May was gaining on him fast. "Drew, you'd better run faster if you don't want to get caught! I can't wait to catch you!" She screamed. He looked like he was trying to run faster, but it wasn't working very well.

"That could not have possibly been twenty seconds!" He shouted back to her, feeling a rush of his own. He couldn't help it. He loved getting chased, it's why he relished in fangirl attention. Imminent pain kind of ruined the sensation a bit, but the adrenaline rush was still more fun than he'd had since he won the last major contest and lots of girls chased him, threatening to rip off his clothes and either frame them or sell them on eBay (a few also threw their underwear at them, but he didn't get too into that).

**WHAM!**

"May?" He gasped, looking up at the girl sprawled over him. She'd tackled him, his arms pinned over his head, she was leaning forward, sitting just below his ribs. "Did you…did you just tackle me?"

"I can't think of any _other _way I end up on top of you, can you?" She asked sarcastically. It was weird, she'd always thought about this (not usually as aggressive as this, however) but now that she was doing it, she was wondering why she couldn't stop. She felt so assertive, all her passive feelings had gone to…she didn't know where, but she didn't have any doubts to anything anymore. "So, now I'm going to show you exactly how I feel," May smirked. "You afraid."

"I'm more shocked that there's a girl on top of me," he answered. "Let's be fair. You'll let me go and I won't ignore you anymore."

"Uh, no," May said with a smile that scared him a bit more than the possibility of being punched in the face. She slowly leaned forward to give him a kiss. Drew's eyes widened in surprise and looked up to see that it was really May kissing him. She pulled back looked at him. "Drew, I really, really like you. But I guess what I did was a mistake, so I'll just-" She started

"Not a mistake," He said breathlessly.

"Come again?" May asked.

"That was not a mistake," He laughed, and pulled her down to kiss her again. Their lips touched and a loud **CRACK!** went through the air as rain began pouring down she felt her old self return. She rolled off of Drew with a gasp, sitting with her arms out behind her, keeping her upright. "What's wrong, May? You look kind of shell-shocked."

"I can't believe I just did that!" May gasped. "I'm sorry Drew, I wasn't myself. I really, really shouldn't have done that. It was just this old woman and this table and the table was alive and there were words and magic and Lover's Rain I'm wet and confused and now you'll hate me-"

"May, what are you talking about? You're starting to ramble," Drew sat close to her. "I don't know, I like it when you're angry. Don't get me wrong, I like it when you're happy too, but it's nice to know how you feel. I didn't notice that ignoring you made you so upset. I thought you just hated me."

"No, no! I do like you Drew, I like you a lot," she smiled and leaned forward he did too. Just as they were about to kiss May jerked back with surprise. "Oh my god, if this happened to me, what about Misty? I can't imagine what she's going to do! We have to warn her and get out of this rain…this multicolored-" She looked up in awe at the rainbow rain falling from the sky each one a different color and not a cloud in the sky.

"Extremely romantic rain," Drew pulled her to her feet. "She'll figure it out sooner or later. For now let's just have fun and enjoy the rain."

"Lover's Rain," she giggled before getting wrapped up in another kiss.

* * *

"Misty, you okay?" Ash asked curiously. After all it wasn't often that Misty was curled up in the fetal position on his couch, trying not to glance at him and blushing when she did. "You're acting kind of funny."

"I'm fine, Ash," she squeaked hurriedly. "Just fine, really." Her heart fluttered in her chest at his glance. Oh, this was horribly overwhelming. She closed her eyes tightly at the sensation, willing it to go away. She'd figured out what happened by now. May felt what she felt when she was in love, and she felt what May felt. But how could May deal with this? She hated hormones, hated them!

"You don't sound fine," He mumbled. "You sound really funny, like when we played with those balloons at May's eleventh birthday party." He glanced at her again. "Don't you want to do something? Like make fun of me?"

"Not really," Misty shrugged. Actually, she did. Badly. She couldn't think of a single thing to tease him about. The second she thought about his stupidity it just reminded her of his cute face whenever he was baffled. Being short, well, ever since he hit sixteen he'd been taller than her, even taller than Gary (of course Gary wasn't finished growing yet, and warned Ash his height would be short lived) and he usually made fun of her for being shorter than May. And whenever she thought about teasing him about his pokémon master dream, he seemed so strong-willed about it and he was s kind to his pokémon. She bit her inner cheek and scolded herself for thinking that way about Ash.

"You don't want to tease me?" Ash exclaimed. "You've got to be sick!" He put his hand to her forehead with a laugh. Misty leaped from the couch, her cheeks flaming and her body flushed with warmth from being so close to him.

"Ash! Don't do that! What's wrong with you?" She said again, clearing her throat at the end of her sentence to try and lower her voice again. He looked her strangely, his head cocked to the side like Pikachu. She couldn't help but wonder if Pikachu had learned if from him or the other way around.

"Come on, Mist. I'm only playing!" He said, grabbing her wrist. She shivered and felt those romance novel clichés, the pounding heart so loud it was like rounds of thunder, the electric shivers going up an down her spine, that pressure in her stomach that felt like pain, but everyone called butterfree and that tingly feeling wherever he touched her. The nickname wasn't making it any better either.

"Let go!" She screamed, ripping her wrist out of his hand. "Get _away _from me!" She snarled. Misty closed her eyes and ran out into the garden, jumping up to grab a tree branch to scramble up to the tops, her eyes shut against her emotions again. She bit the inside of her cheek so hard she felt blood pool in her mouth.

"Misty!" Ash called, stopping and looking up the tree where she was hiding. Misty shuffled back closer to end of the branch where he wasn't looking, but his eyes shifted to her anyway. "Misty, I see you!" He called.

"No you don't!"

"I know what I see!"

"If I can't see you, you can't see me!" She called down childishly. Ash rolled his eyes and grabbed a branch of a tree, starting to climb up after her. "Go away!" She shouted again, climbing up into the branches.

"Misty, you're being stupid and repetitive. Wow, big word," He stopped climbing for a second. "Misty, stop!" He shouted in horror, seeing how high she was climbing. There was the branch that had been hit by Pikachu's thundershock a while ago while they were training. Where was Pikachu anyway…?

Somewhere far, far away…

"It's a chimera!" Edward Elrich screamed, pointing at the yellow mouse-like creature before him.

"What the heck is that thing?" Pikachu mumbled to himself. "I mean I think he's a human…but he looks so short…"

"Who are you calling so short he couldn't be captured by a pokéball?!?!?!" Ed shrieked.

"Brother, it didn't even call you short, and what's a pokéball?" Al inquired.

Back with Ash and Misty…

Ash scrambled back to the ground and positioned himself below the branch, holding out his arms. It only took a minute before the crack of a branch and Misty's familiar scream as she came crashing down and landing bridal style in his arms. "Hullo, Mist. Nice to see you again. Could you _please _tell me what's been going on now?" Ash smiled down at her. She whimpered at another romantic attack, her face bright red. Why did Ash never care about this as long as they were alone? Couldn't he stop _touching _her? Misty tried to roll out of his arms, but Ash merely leaned against a tree and held her tighter. "I have no idea how long I can hold you and stand up, but when that fails I'm sitting down and holding you in my lap. So you better start talking if you ever want to leave."

"Evil," Misty muttered.

"Oh come on, I'm not going to stop chasing you for an answer. It'd like trying to catch a rare pokémon," Ash smiled. Misty's inside melted at the grin, her thoughts became so hazy she could barely tell which way was up.

_So this is what it's like to be on cloud nine…_ she thought with a dreamy smile. Ash looked at her cocking his head to the side in a way that made her sigh. _I think the spell's just getting stronger, I hope it breaks soon or I'm going to end up telling him everything. _She thought, but it was a distant thought. Everything was distant, actually, except for Ash. His face got even more confused, and he asked the deadly question.

"Mist, why are you looking at me like that?" He asked. Misty shrugged at sighed dreamily.

"I think it's because I'm in love with you," she smiled up at him. "That's probably it," she giggled. "I probably shouldn't have told you that. You've got to hate since I'm always being so mean. It's just I always get so mad whenever I start getting that funny love feeling, but the magic table took away that so now you know."

"Misty, are you high on Valium?"

"No, I always feel like this, I just can't tell you," she sighed. "It's really sad."

"So," Ash began to process this and blushed. "If I kissed you, you'd like it, right?"

"I guess. But it's really, really mean to say. Because thinking about kissing you makes me happy, but knowing you won't ever do that makes me sad. Sometimes I see you with Dawn and sometimes even May," she felt tears fill up in her eyes.

Then Ash was kissing her, and it didn't matter anymore. Thunder pounded and rain fell all around them, but unlike May and Drew, the happy couple didn't notice. The ponytail fell out with a vicious tug and the hat swooped to the ground after it so their hands could find smooth, soon wet hair. Sure, Misty felt her old self return. The only real difference was she kissed him harder, and went into control. But they'd been waiting, and they had no qualms about it.

* * *

"So, you're thankful that you didn't kill all the Native Americans, and that they built lovely casinos which everyone should spend their money in in a desperate hope to compensate for killing all those people," Tracey asked.

"Uh-huh," Natty nodded. "We celebrate our independence with Japanese displays too."

"And those little cartoon characters from South Park, that's what it's called, right? That's the real meaning of Easter?"

"It's the one that makes the most sense," Natty shrugged. "And you know from all my ranting all the wrongs of the U.S. government, and all the good in it too! I love my freedom!" She pumped her fist in the air. "If we weren't legally immigrated to this country, I'd be in a dictatorship, so yay freedom!"

Freedom of speech is as important as freedom of the press. Wherever you live, it looks like you have freedom of the press (or I'm wondering how you got internet and why, of all the places, you'd log onto this site) so exercise yours and drop a review!


	13. AM Hanging Around

EVAN AAML: Um, okay, I should just say I'm sorry to EVAN AAML. I tried writing a beach fic five or six times, and I couldn't do it. Why? Because I freaking hate the beach, that's why! I don't like the ocean (at least not the shallows) and I don't get a kick out of any of the games they play at hotels and junk like that. I like to sit in a chair and read books as I slowly roast inviting in skin cancer because I never remember to put on sun tan lotion! Ahem, Once again, I apologize to him, but I tried.

So, on a brighter side, I thought of an adorable fic! Whee! It's weird, unlikely, probably out of character, but very cute. And if anybody says that Spiderman isn't in Japan/Pokémon world I will be very disappointed in you for saying such a stupid thing. I'm sure they've heard of it, even if it isn't a big deal (hey, we love their shows, maybe they love some of ours?) there. And if they haven't, oh well.

THANK YOU FOR EVERYONE WHO HELPED ME GET TO 70 REVIEWS! YOU ARE ALL INCREDIBLE!!!!!

Oh, and the day Harry Potter came out, I finished it. Started reading at 1 a.m., finished at 6:15 a.m. I just had to know how it ended. I'm unsatisfied. Not enough death. I wanted a nuclear holocaust.

* * *

Ash: Ten Years Old Misty: Eleven Years Old

* * *

I opened my eyes to the sound a twig snapping and a yelp of fright, followed by a sigh of relief. I knew it was Ash. The voice was too young for Team Rocket, too masculine for a girl, too feminine for a boy, in other words, a child of indeterminate gender. That hadn't shocked me. What really made me jump out of my sleeping bag was the fact that the sun had just barely rolled over the hills we had just walked up yesterday. What the heck was Ash doing up before noon? That wasn't like him at all.

I crept from my spot into the woods, in the direction of his whispering voice. There! I saw him! I quietly hid behind a bulky tree, peeking out at the stupid boy I had followed because I loved… the bike he owed me. He had a ski-mask on, bouncing around in the trees, doing a self-narration of what he was imagining. Pikachu looked at him innocently, not saying a word of encouragement or discouragement. He climbed up a branch or two above Ash and looked down fondly at his owner.

"Spiderman swung through the woods, looking for the Green Goblin, who had once again captured Mary Jane," He froze for a second. "Well, Spiderman did have a bunch of different girlfriends, he dumped Mary Jane way back in the beginning, but I can't remember the other ones. I'm just going to stick with Mary Jane, Pikachu," He nodded, more to himself than that yellow ball of cuddliness (A/N: That's a real freaking word!) he loved more than mmmm…uh, I mean, more than life itself. "He was the best superhero in the world, better than Superman and Batman combined! Spiderman jumped through the trees and shot out his web!" Ash leaped from the branch he was in into open air, holding out his arm in the webslinging position, forgetting he had no such powers. He then abruptly crashed to earth.

And I giggled.

"Who's there?" He jumped up. I gasped and slammed my hand over my mouth, hiding myself completely behind the tree. "Come on out! I know you're there," He called. "I'll give you ten seconds before I set my Pikachu on you. Ten, nine, eight…" I nibbled my lip, by setting Pikachu on me he meant he'd tell Pikachu to fire thunderbolts until he hit something. But would he hit me? "Seven, six, five…" I wasn't sure. It was a big tree. If Pikachu hit it I should be fine. Oh, but the poor tree! That's like cutting one down to see how old it was! "Four, three, two…" It wasn't worth it. Might as well come out.

"Ash, don't!"

"Misty?"

"Yeah, it's me! I'm coming out! If Pikachu hits me I swear I'll kill you!" I shouted as I walked out. He'd put his hat on his hat, the red ski-mask in his hand. His face was red, still embarrassed from me catching him, I think. "So…Spiderman?"

"Yeah," He grinned and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "You're not telling, are you?"

"Who would I tell?"

"Brock."

"Why would I tell Brock?" I asked. He shrugged, blushed, and began to stammer. "Ash, I'm not going to. I don't hate you. Besides, the only one allowed to make fun of you is me," I giggled taking the mask from his hands. "I'm not out for revenge on the bike, which you still owe me by the way,"

"I'm working on it!"

"I'm just kind of sad, actually," I fingered the mask in my hands. "How come you never let me play? I mean, I know I'm just Misty, but my sisters never let me play with them. Comic books are pretty cool. I know a lot of the villains and the characters. I could've played if you asked."

"You do?" Ash blinked. "You want to play? Gee, Mist, I didn't not ask you to play because I didn't want anyone else. I just thought that Brock was too old and you…well, I thought you just wouldn't want to because, you know."

"Why?"

"You're a girl."

"What?!" I gasped. "Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I don't like comics and pretending."

"I know that girls like pretending! But all the girls I ever knew liked pretending they were unicorns or princesses or queens," He shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck with an adorable sheepish smile. "How was I supposed to know you were different?"

"You should just know, Ash," I mumbled, sitting on the ground with my back to him, my arms crossed over my chest and my lips in a sad pout. "You could've asked! I mean, you should know I'm not like other girls by now. You should've asked me to play." There was a stretched out silence as Ash tried to figure out what I wanted him to say. It had taken almost half a year to train him to say something sweet when I was upset instead of walking away. He still wasn't always sure of what to say, but I led him right to it this time.

"Do you want to play? I'm sorry I didn't invite you earlier, but I wish you would now," he said after a five minute pause.

"Really, Ash? Thank you!" I jumped up with a smile. "Who can I be?"

"Mary Jane."

"What?! Why do I have to be a damsel in distress? I want to be a villain," I huffed.

"Pikachu is the villain. He can attack me with thunderbolts and I can dodge them. If you're a villain too, it's no fair for me. I can't dodge Pikachu's attacks and whatever you do at the same time. The real Spiderman could, though. Besides, it's lots more fun when you really have someone to save!"

"Okay," I sighed in defeat. I decided on not telling him Spiderman isn't real. (Sorry, to crush your hopes, everyone.) "I'll…I'll be Mary Jane, I guess. Should I just stand over by Pikachu and we can start playing?"

"Sure!" Ash said delightedly. I trotted over to Pikachu and stood by his tree. He smiled down at me then licked my cheek. "Pikachu! You're supposed to be the villain! Now, where was I? Oh! I remember. I was swinging through trees. Anyway, Spiderman swung through the trees and raced to the Green Goblin's lair. Meanwhile, the Green Goblin was telling Mary Jane all about his evil plans to kill Spiderman!"

"I was?" Pikachu blinked. "What's my plan?"

"I don't know! Make something up, it's not that hard!"

"Fine," He rolled his eyes. Pikachu, I mean, The Green Goblin, thought carefully before speaking. "Spiderman will come to save you, and when he does, I have a new device that will electrocute Spiderman at the push of a button. I can control the direction and the power! Once he's been electrified, I will use a chemical to take away his powers and leave him unable to defend himself! Then I will take over the world!" Pikachu gave a maniacal laugh.

"Hmm?" I asked. I can usually understand Pikachu when he uses charades, but I can only catch a bit of what he's saying. Though, 'Ash in trouble' has become so common a phrase even Team Rocket knows what it means. "What was that?"

"Electrocute me, chemical to take away my powers, world domination," Ash translated.

"Oh," I nodded. I turned to Pikachu, once again immersed in our roleplay. (A/N: I know, big words for a ten year old, but I can't help it. Sorry.) "You'll never get away with it Green Goblin! Spiderman will stop you!"

"Ha! Like that will ever happen!"

"Stop Green Goblin!" Ash said dramatically. He leaped from another tree, once again forgetting he didn't have spider powers and collapsed to the ground.

"Whatever you do, don't. Laugh." Pikachu whispered. I smiled and nodded. "You'll never win, Parker!" Apparently, I already knew Peter Parker was Spiderman in this game. "Come and get you're girlfriend!"

"WE'RE NOT A…" We began automatically, a blush on our cheeks. We trailed off and blinked. "Oh."

"You did that on purpose!" Ash complained.

"Face your death now, Peter!" Pikachu shouted, sending out a thunderbolt. Ash dodged one after another, closing in close enough to whack Pikachu off the branch on tumbling him onto the ground.

"Oh, gees. You okay?" Ash asked with concern, grabbing a vine and hanging upside-down from it. He was thundershocked aptly before Pikachu got back up.

"Settle down a little bit, Ash. It's just a game. I'm going back to camp to wash up. Have fun!" He scampered back the way we came.

"Well, I guess I won," Ash smirked. I bit at my lip nervously. Not for what I was going to do, I knew I would do it. There was no doubt in my mind, it was too romantic to pass up. No, no. My problem was how exactly I was going to lie to cover it up. "Hey, Mist, whatchya doin'?" Ash asked nervously I was slowly walked towards him.

"Thank you for saving me, Spiderman."

"Uh, yuh-yuh-you're welcome Mist, uh, I mean, Mary Juh-Jane," he stuttered. I stopped in front of him and slowly rolled down the mask covering his face. "Mist, Mary Jane, Misty! What are you-" I put a finger to his lips.

"You talk too much," I whispered. My finger slipped away to be replaced by my lips. It was just a second, just a tap, but it was everything I wanted my first kiss to be. My lips tingled, my nerves were bouncing, and I had the silliest smile on my face. I slowly pulled back, Ash following me a bit, seemingly not wanting to stop. "Well, Ash. The game's over, let's go back to camp."

"What? You just kissed me! M-Misty, you _kissed _me!" He gasped. His hands released the vine, sending him crashing to the ground.

"Me?" I said innocently. "I didn't kiss you, Ash. Mary Jane kissed Spiderman. So, see? It was a game, all made-up. We haven't kissed, and I haven't actually had my first kiss yet," I held out my hand to help him up. He pouted at me.

"I haven't been kissed either, you know. Girls are icky," he blushed, standing up and stomping off.

"Then why'd you lean forward?" I taunted as he started running.

"I was playing my part!" he shouted. I laughed wickedly and raced after him chanting 'you like me, you like me!' to his denial.

* * *

I was reminded of the moment as I hung suspended upside down in the tree tops. Ash had gotten himself knocked out, the idiot ran into a tree, and I was the one to go after Pikachu. I didn't get the little fella. I chased Team Rocket through the woods and off a cliff. Hey! Don't call me dumb! I was looking at Team Rocket and they kept going straight and I just happened to not notice their balloon. I'm not dead, and that's all that matters.

"Hey there, Mist," Ash said, barely containing his giggles. Our witty banter had definitely improved over the years. "Here I was, racing after Pikachu though my head was still throbbing, and you're just hanging around" he shook his head in disappointment. "I am so disappointed, Mist, so disappointed."

"You know you're not supposed to call me that when I'm mad!" I shouted, thrashing around. "Now stop your laughing and get me down from here!"

"I don't know. What do you think Pikachu? After her horrible betrayal of our little gang, should we leave her out to dry, or take her back as a captive and torture her relentlessly until she weeps in remorse of her sins."

"Been reading the dictionary much?" I muttered.

I say we…do what you will, Dawn just open a brand new ketchup bottle. Pikachu leaped from Ash's shoulder and raced away, running straight up the cliff, leaving me and Ash to stare blankly for a minute.

"Ashton Ketchum, if you don't let me down, I will tie you to a hot pole in your underwear and pound you with a baseball bat until you sob like the sad little boy you are. I'll rip your hair out stand by strand, make sure you never have children again and…and what are you doing?"

"Nothin'," He smiled, pulling out my ponytail to let my hair fall down. "You did grow it out. How sweet, just for me?" He asked.

"Ashton Satoshi Ketchum, I swear if you do anything else…"

"Misty Kasumi Waterflower, if you keep making death threats I will tell everyone about the tattoo you have on your butt that I saw because you wore an old low cut bathing suit because you forgot all about it."

"Lower back," I snapped, blushing. "Could you let me down? The blood's rushing to my head."

"Wonder how Spiderman does it?" He mused. His head cocked to the side. Why? Was he remembering like I did? "Mary Jane," he suddenly laughed. "thank you for saving Pikachu for me," he continued in a lower, sudductive voice. I shivered.

"Ash, what the hell is wrong with you? Ash, A-Ash, what are you doing? Don't come any closer or I'll-" He put his finger to my lips and smirked.

"You talk to much," he said, leaning forward to give me a peck on the lips. I'm guilty to say that as he pulled back, I couldn't help but lean forward in hope that he won't end the kiss. "You like me, you like me." He pulled the vines off and putt me on the ground gently, his arms still wrapped around me. "And this kiss didn't count, it was just made-up," He laughed. "Now let's head back to camp." He turned to start going back, but I grabbed his arm.

"Uh, wait. Spiderman?" He turned, looking surprised. "Mind if we, I don't know, hang around for a bit?"

"I wouldn't mind that at all," He grinned. Our next kiss was more then a peck. And for the first time, it was _real._

* * *

Golly gee, that had enough sweet sappy sugar to have stopped my grandfather from going into that diabetic attack he had a few months ago. He's fine, don't worry. Not that you should...

Anyway! Hope you enjoyed the latest installment, and good reading!


	14. AM Seeing is Believing

All right, here's a songificy. I was bored, the song's by Josie and the Pussycats, called "You Don't See Me", the next chapter's songfic is by the same called "Pretend to Be Nice". My songfics are quite detailed, not just a line between every lyric. So, go ahead and skip the lyrics if you really want, I guess. It might not all click, but it's not bad without it.

This is the place where I sit

This is the part where I love you too much

This is as hard as it gets

Cause I'm getting tired of pretending I'm tough

I'm here if you want me

I'm yours you can hold me

I'm empty and taken and tumbling and breakin'

"I hate myself," Misty whimpered. She closed her eyes, sitting in the fetal position on the diving board high above the gym pool. Ho-oh, she missed him.

"Misty?" A cautious voice asked. She looked down to see Daisy. Oh, no. Not her. She was the one person she didn't want to see. How great for her. A great life, steady boyfriend, (actually fiancé) and the ring on her finger possessed a rock she could be proud to show off in public. The ring hurt more then seeing her, Daisy's lips were still swollen with passionate kisses from a romantic night out. I hate her. At least she's got the torture of being pregnant. I hope she goes through forty eight hours of labor with no epidural. "What's wrong, runt?"

"Go away," I snapped, glad at my ability to hold in tears. She knew this was my place. My sister's had their rooms, I had the diving board and underwater. They were supposed to leave me alone, but Daisy was climbing up to sit behind me. I scrambled to leap off the diving board, but her hand flashed out to grab me before I could. "Let me go, Daisy! I want to be alone! Just go away!" I screamed, thrashing. She pulled me close.

"Shh, calm down. Tell me what's wrong," She crooned. Dialga, she's gotten so much more motherly since she's become 'with child'.

"No," I snapped, thrashing one more time, but barely holding back tears.

"Misty, you tell me what's bothering you now," She snapped.

"NO!" I shouted, breaking free and diving into the water. I heard her swear about emotional teenagers above me as I crashed down into the pool. I tapped the bottom lightly and stayed there, cooling down. Dewgong grabbed me by my shirt and dragged me back over to daisy, who pulled me out of the water and dragged me to the stand, still kicking and screaming. The damn thing's always been so loyal to her. She held me close.

"Is it about him?" She whispered.

"No," I said, before seeing her glare at me. I suppose I owed the truth to her, she was getting her shirt soaked from my soaking back. "Yes," I corrected. "I should've yelled at him, made him let me stay."

"Maybe you should've told him you love him?" She asked.

"What? Tell him I love him with a passion so fierce it makes me weak to see him smile?" I laughed dryly. "He'd run away screaming. Ash isn't like Dylan. Dylan's a great guy, Ash is a moron who's only love is pokémon. I just…I really do love him so much, I really miss him," tears began to sting my eyes. "It's just so, so hard. I can't take it. It hurts to know that I'll never be with him. I've spent all this time falling in love with him, dropping hints, trying to figure out what girl he wants. I still can't figure that out."

"You think he's worth crying over?"

"Crying? That might've helped," I said, my voice cracking. I curled up tight, turning around and burying my head in her shoulder, finally letting myself cry. Who cared about being tough anymore? Not like it mattered.

Cause you don't see me

You don't need me

And you don't love me

The way I wish you would

The way I know you could

"He never even looked my way. Sure, at glance at Maiden's Peak," I sniffed. "but that lasted five seconds at best. Stupid me, I interrupted the moment with my shrill stupid voice. Probably reminded him of who I was." I wiped my eyes. "The scrawny, ugly, too smart to be cute-"

"Misty, stop it. You're a beautiful, girl, really." I shot her a glare, reminding her who I was the little sister of. "Right, right. But you can't compare yourself to us. Do you remember when you were young, and mom read you those Ancient Roman stories? There would those really pretty women who compared themselves to goddesses and then got smited. Me, Violet and Lily are like goddesses. You're prettier than average," she nodded at me, "but you really can't compare."

"Is this supposed to make me feel better? You better hope you have a little boy or a goddess as a kid, because otherwise, you'll be a crappy mother."

"Don't swear."

"Don't go unprotected," I cast a meaningful glance at her stomach. She blushed. "But at least you'll be needed as a mother. Ash never needed me," I gave a sad smile again. "Do you know, after I left, we kept sending letters? He came up with the most genius battle strategies that I could ever think up. He knew every type trump, he knew everything I told him and more. Then he got May, then Dawn, and who knows what other girl comes after her."

"He's not replacing you," Daisy shook her head, "if that's what you think. He cares for you. I can tell."

"He doesn't love me," I said, standing up and crossing my arms over my chest. "He never cared for me. As a friend, as another one of the guys, he did. The look on his face when I did something female? It was like one of his friends had just admitted they were gay."

"Misty…I'm sure that's not true."

"It is. I wish he'd love me, I do, but he doesn't. I'm sure he could, he's got enough room in his heart. He can love every pokémon he catches," I frowned, "he can love me like a friend, like a best friend." I took a deep breath in and out. "It doesn't matter. I'm going to head up to bed."

"Hey, Mist?" She called. I looked at her over my shoulder. "The roof is a great place to think, if you need some time. You know we don't like you all alone on the diving board, what if you fall asleep and fall off?"

"What if I fall off the roof?" I challenged

"The roof is flat. What are you going to do, jump off?" Daisy laughed. She patted me on the shoulder. "G'night, Misty. Sleep tight, don't let the bed beedrill bite." She giggled as I shivered. I still hate bugs.

I dream a world where you understand

But I dream a million sleepless nights

But I dream of fire when you're touching my hand

But it twists into smoke when I turn on the lights

I'm speechless and faded

It's too complicated

Is this how the book ends?

Nothing but good friends?

Cause you don't see me

You don't need me

And you don't love me

The way I wish you would

How many dreams did I have? Some of them weren't even romantic, I was just traveling with him again. Pathetic. Some dreams were romantic, though, incredible. I'm surprised at my own imagination too. You know, the nice tingling feeling you get when you hold hands with that guy you like? Then it disappears when my sisters storm in in the morning and I realize my life suck and has no meaning. Great, right?

I leaned over the edge of the building, seeing the concrete below. "It couldn't kill me," I sighed. "It couldn't. Not high enough. I'd just break something and be in a lot of pain. Wouldn't die. It'd take my mind off of Ash though." I rolled back into the safety zone of the roof and moaned. "This sucks. It flipping sucks. I'd rather be pregnant, like Daisy. I hate Daisy. I hate me. I hate Ash. No, I don't hate Ash. I sound drunk," I rubbed my eyes.

"I'm doomed to sit on a roof and cry all my life. I'll be an old maid with glameow's everywhere. And my best friend will still be Ash Ketchum, who'll end up marrying some slut he finds in a bar! And she's a stripper too! And she's sexy but a bimbo and her breasts are fake and who am I kidding? Ash is going to be a Pokémon Master, he'll fall in love with some other top trainer and they'll trade training secrets all day and he'll be oh so happy without me."

"…screw him."

The way I wish you would

This is the place in my heart

This is the place where I'm falling apart

Isn't this just where we met

And is this the last chance that I'll ever get

I wish I was lonely, Instead of just only

Crystal and see through and not enough to you

Cause you don't see me

You don't need me

And you don't love me

The way I wish you would

Cause you don't see me

You don't need me

And you don't love me

The way I wish you would

The way I know you could

"You know what? I don't care! Do you hear me, Ketchum? I DON'T CARE! I'm holding a place for you, Ash! Right here!" I hit my chest where my heart was, leaping to my feet and screaming at the top of my lungs. It was probably near twelve at night in Cerulean City, and I was screaming on a roof. "I know you can hear me, Ash! Don't act like you can't! I know you can! This is my last effort, Ash! You've never seen me before, at least hear me out now!"

"Ash Ketchum, I love you! Always will! So if you love me, I'll give you two days to get your stupid ass over here!"

"Shut up, girl!" A man shouted from next door. "I don't give two sts in hell if you're the gym leader! Some of us have work in the morning, so get into bed and shut up!"

"Aw, shut up! I'm done!" I shouted back. "And if you're that mad, call the police and have them take me in! Life is a game, and you know what? I quit! You go to work tomorrow, I'm going to pretend I'm a golden and swim in my pool all day!" I threw up my arms in the air and gave a laugh. I think I might've gone crazy. But I was certainly happy.

Somewhere in a far away forest…

"Hey, guys? Do you mind if I head out tomorrow? I'll be back soon, I just have something to do. Thanks," Ash said, a dreamy smile on his face as he packed up camp and began to walk out.

"Ash! It's past twelve, what are you doing!" Dawn gasped.

"Really, Ash? Can't it wait until tomorrow? Where are you going?"

"Cerulean," He shouted. "And no, it can't wait! It'll be too late by tomorrow!" He disappeared through the trees. Dawn blinked at his back before slowly turning to Brock. "Give me a week or two and I'll be back, all right?"

"What do you think he's doing?"

"I don't know. Probably something to do with Misty," he shrugged. "I guess he finally woke up and saw what he was missing."

Eh, it's suckish. I know. Writing with other people's characters is hard, okay? And I know they're not in character and blah blah blah, I'm going to eat chocolate now to console myself.


	15. DM Not Pretending

Looky here, I update fast, don't I? Here's the one I told you about, which will suck horribly. Let's try and make it to eighty reviews! Yeah right, that's not going to happen for a while. But thanks to all you great people who review. And there's at least forty two people who read without reviewing. Naughty people. shakes finger at them Well, here's another crudy one-shot. Have fun reading, this time it's contestshipping.

* * *

**Well he looks at me with those innocent eyes and says  
"it looks like you're wearing some kind of disguise  
because your hair sticks up. your shoes are untied  
I hope that you got that shirt at half price!"  
And every word I say falls flat on the floor  
I try to tell a joke he's heard it before  
and I don't think that I can take it no more  
it's driving me right out my front door  
**

There's Drew, I knew he would be here. It's a big contest, after all. He said he'd be here. He just never comes to the late night after contest party stuff. I entered in a different division than him, but I saw him earlier. He won. Of course he did. He always wins. Max keeps saying I stalked him to another region, just because I'm so madly in love with him, but that's not true! I also came for the contests. Oooh, he saw me. He saw me! He's coming closer. He looks like he's in a good mood today, sweet innocent smile, hands in pockets, he looks really cute. No! Bad thoughts, bad thoughts!

"Hey, May."

"Hi, Drew," I smiled back, playing with the hem of my skirt absently. Fourteen years old and I still act like I'm crushing on a hot teacher or something for the first time. Nervous as heck. Ugh, I need to act more mature."

"I was just wondering, is it windy out? Your hair looks like it got hit by a gust attack, from a really strong pokémon" He chuckled. "May, we're not in Super Contests, but you still have to look presentable for them. Look at your shoes, they're covered in dirt and mud, don't you ever clean them? You might need a change of outfit too. You don't have to wear a skirt or anything, but maybe you should try something that doesn't look like a work out outfit?"

"Well…I, uh, um, you see…nice hair!" I scoffed.

"Nice comeback," he rolled his eyes.

I chewed my lip. _Come on, May! Say something witty! Something smart and funny! Changing your hairstyle obviously hasn't worked, so, impress him with your brain! _I thought. "So, Drew, why's six afraid of seven?"

"Because seven eight nine. Think up something original," He rolled his eyes and walked away, leaving me to swear and scream silently at his back. When he spun around, I smiled sweetly at him. "Please don't ever do that with your hair again," he smirked.

"I'm going to kill him. And when they interrogate me, I'll just tell them some guys just can't hold their arsenic, just like that girl from 'The Cell-Block Tango' in Chicago." I said to myself as I stumbled out the door. Max stood clear of me, he always does that when I start talking to myself.

"M-May? Something wrong?"

"He could run into my knife, slip off a chair with a rope around his neck, poison from a nidoran could accidentally slip into his water bottle, there could be a strange incident involving a relentless eevee and squirtle attacks."

"Are you talking about killing Drew?" Max asked.

"Max, I'm going to take a hot shower until I feel my body stops burning from the heat. I'll then turn it to a cold shower, and wait until the mirror defogs. Don't leave the Pokémon Center, 'kay, li'l bro?" I said distantly, walking to my room, still having those disturbing images of Drew's death in her mind.

**Why do you do what you do to me baby?  
Shaking my confidence,  
driving me crazy!  
You know if I could I'd do anything for you  
Please don't ignore me cause you know I adore you  
Could you just pretend to be nice?  
can You at least pretend to be nice?  
If you could just pretend to be nice?  
then everything in my life would be alright**

**"**ou're everywhere," I whispered as I crashed into Drew on the way to my room. I immediately brightened. "Oh, sorry Drew. How are you feeling today?"

"Uh, fine. I just saw you five seconds ago. If your coordinating skills are half as good as your memory you might've improved since last contest," he chuckled. "You are going to take a shower, aren't you? You smell like the road."

"Well, Drew, I was just about to take a shower!" I snapped. He walked away, still laughing. "Drew? Drew! Don't ignore me! You asked a question, you're supposed to wait for the answer! Common courtesy!" He continued to walk, no recognition of me shown.

"I look up to you," I said when he was too far away to hear. I got out my key and walked to my room, sliding the door open. "Every comment you make hurts really bad, Drew. My self confidence level is really low, you know." I went to the bathroom, locking both doors behind me, and turned on the shower. Max had a key. He could get in. And if not, he'd be fine. He'd go to Drew's room. The front desk will tell you anything for a first name reference. Max has been leaving random facts as notes for random rooms at every center we go to. I have to make him stop doing that.

I have to stop worshipping Drew like a god. I swear, if he asked me in the middle of a battle to throw the contest, I'd recall my pokémon and walk away. Okay, maybe not that far, but I'd hesitate at least. "I just wish you'd act nice every once in a while," I sighed, putting my head against the shower wall. I was still burning from the hot water on my back, but hot water in a shower just feels so relaxing. I waited there for a few minutes. "That'd just make everything perfect."

"May?" Max knocked at the door. "I'm sorry, but skitty got out of its pokéball and ran down to the lobby. Everyone was playing with it, so it was fine. But then it went to the pool and nobody's there, I can't catch her, and I need your help."

"But my shower," I whined.

"You've been in there for ten minutes already!"

"Fine," I sighed, turning off the water with a grunt. I looked around. "Oh, frick. Max! Could you grab my clothes? I forget them."

"Again?"

"Yes, again!" I sighed, getting out of the shower. "And if I hear one complaint out of you about touching my bra and underwear I'm not only _not _grabbing your clothes the next time you forget them, I'm throwing them out of the window and making you run outside naked!" I heard him groan and grumble, but it wasn't about touching my clothes, so I let it slide.

**  
And I tried so hard just to figure him out  
but he won't tell me what he's been thinkin' about  
and then he falls asleep on the living room couch  
his sun glasses on, and his tongue hanging out  
and then he disappears for a week at a time  
and then he shows up, just like everythings fine and  
I don't get what goes on in his mind  
but I'm tired of hearing the same stupid lies**

I shoved past the crowd of people in the PC's lobby. (A/N: Pokémon Center) to get to skitty. Most Pokémon Centers didn't have pools, at least not for people, but this was a land locked center quite a distance away from any ocean with a water gym nearby. It was a necessity, and made the center nice enough to get people to pay to stay there. "Skitty! Come here! Where'd you run off too? Frick! Come on! What'd Max do to make you run so fast? Threaten to be your trainer?"

"Hey!"

"Sorry, Max. I'm just nervous because you lost my pokémon, thanks a lot for that by the way." He smiled and waved a response to my glare, and went back to searching for the lost skitty. "Skitty! Skitty! Oh could you please come here? I'll give you extra pokeblocks! Heck, I'll even give you puffins even though they're impossible to make! Zinc, calcium, gold, diamonds, pearls, rubies, sapphires, emeralds? Anything you want!"

"So you've resorted to begging. You've got to be the best coordinator here," Drew smirked confidently. I muttered another "he's fricken _everywhere" _under my breath. Skitty leaped from his arms to mine, right after giving Drew an affectionate nudge. "She's cute. Hold onto her. She might win something even with you as a trainer."

"I'm a great coordinator. You're just jealous because you've finally met someone better than you," I said, proud of my comeback. He looked at me for a minute, a small smile on his face, before shaking his head and giving a small laugh. "What?"

"Nothing. Just thinking."

"About what? You were staring."

"Me? Staring? No," he shrugged. He put on a pair of sunglasses and began to walk away.

"You were staring!"

"I wasn't."

"You were!"

"May, you're completely delusional. I'll see you at the next contest, enter the same division next time," He smiled to himself.

"Wait, where are you going?" I shouted aafter him. "I'm not done with you! You know, you can't keep doing this! Popping up and running away. It's not right! It's mean! _You _are mean! What is wrong with you? Do you like getting me mad? You insult me, stare at me, make a date, and walk away! Mind telling me why?" I put my hands on my hips. He turned and began walking backwards, shrugging.

"I really like giving those roses to your beautifly, but I can't stand you. Same reason as always."

"That's a lie! And why were you staring and where are you going?"

"I wasn't staring and none of your business."

"You were so staring!"

"Goodnight, May."

So, there I stood, glaring at his fading figure in the distance. Skitty was rambling on about peanut butter pickles, I never know what she's talking about. I know I'm translating everything she says perfectly, though. Max came up, asked to borrow my pokenav, and the next thing I know I've been shoved into an icy pool.

"MAX!" I screamed.

"What? You wanted a cold shower, didn't you?" He sniggered. He sighed and looked down at me. "You know, you guys act like you're younger than me. Drew teases you because he likes you, you should just tell him."

"I can't just tell him," I pulled myself out of the pool. "He'll just laugh. I wish I could find a way to tell him that I could call an accident if he didn't really like me," I took off my shoes and socks, it's never fun going to bed like that. You're tired and sliding and going upstairs. Bad combination.

"Oh Ho-oh. She really does control the world," Max said in horror. He pulled out a tape recorder and set it up next to May's pokenav. "Okay, Natty said that you would say that, and if you did, play this song after calling Drew. If he doesn't like you, you can merely say you were dancing to the song and you must've hit the pokenav on something to make an accidental call. I also told her I didn't believe her and bet her twenty dollars it'd never happen. I'm going to need to borrow twenty dollars."

"Max, if I didn't love that idea I'd kill you for gambling," I scolded. "Come on, let's go to the room so we've got some sort of proof."

And we made the call, now I'm just waiting for Drew to come…

**  
Why do you do what you do to me baby?  
Shaking my confidence,  
driving me crazy!  
You know if I could I'd do anything for you  
Please don't **ignore** me cause you know I adore you  
Can't you just pretend to be nice?  
can You at least pretend to be nice?  
If you could just pretend to be nice?  
then everything in my life would be alright  
Why do you do what you do to me baby?  
Shaking my confidence,  
driving me crazy!  
You know if I could I'd do anything for you  
don't need to worry cause you know I adore you  
could you just pretend to be nice?  
can You at least pretend to be nice?  
If you could just pretend to be nice?  
then everything in my life would be alright**

Drew gave a little smile and hung up the pokenav. Yeah, that was May's number, all right. "Damn, May. Took you long enough." He smiled and walked down to room thirty eight and knocked on the door. It slowly opened to a shy, blushing May.

"H-hey, Drew. What are you doing here?" She stuttered. She slapped herself inwardly. _Great job! Now that he knows you're really nervous about something you can say with a perfectly straight face that you didn't make the phone call._

"Let's go out for a pizza," He glanced back at Max. "Max should be okay here, right?"

"My Blaziken has just reached level ninety nine. I have defeated the Elite Four and I am unstoppable. I am bored with my gameboy, I will now go online with the incredible power of World of Warcraft. Go with your date, I'm meeting up with other computer nerds." (A/N: I apologize to WOW addicts, it is a delightful game. I have played it.)

"So, we've got your chaperone's permission. Let's get out of this place," He held out his hand. May eyed it suspiciously. This didn't seem right. Not very Drew-like at all, like a badly written fanfic by a teenage girl who probably didn't have anything better to do with her life.

"You're acting awfully nice."

"Who's acting?" He smiled. "let's go."

* * *

Aw, did you all love the second sappy songfic in a row. Yes, second. If you didn't read the last one, double back. It wasn't a computer malfunction, I really updated that fast! Well, I'm going back to writting more and listening to youtube videos and shouting "that's a breakup song, don't you listen to the lyrics" at the screen. Good reading, and review all you people who read without reviewing. I see you on my stats list! 


	16. AMDM Betting And Baseball

Okay, I'm changing the setting on this to complete, but not because I'm done with it! Each story in itself is done, so I might as well hit complete. And plus, the In-Progress sign annoys me, I don't know why. But I always feel like throwing my computer when I see it. Probably because of the countless fanfics I read that turned out to be incomplete when I thought they were over. Very frustrating. I'm not continuing my last two on shots, nuh-uh! I like them open ended. Use your imaginations, people!

Okay, this is EVAN AAML's idea. And I thank him for submitting another one. Of course, no one else wants to submit. Fine. Be that way. I've got lots of ideas! Okay, maybe not. But you could try and send some in, huh?

Okay, this is moderately icky. I keep hearing all these really great songs that fit these couples perfectly (darn you Pandora, darn you But I'm trying. I've got others that are better. This ones not one of my better ones. It's not as long as you think. It's just a lot of dialogue.

* * *

DAML & AAML

"I hate watching sports on TV, and unless I'm surrounded by people I like, I'm not fond of actually being at the games without a DS, a Stephen King novel, or lots and lots of food. Sadly for you, I hate everyone here excepting Gary and Misty. I will either complain loudly, or someone has to give me the aisle seat so I can leave and come back as I please. Will the fight for that seat continue?" Natty smiled.

"All yours, everyone grumbled, shifting into their seats as the baseball game began.

"When will you all learn that I own you in this world, though where I come from, I am nothing. I just really need my power fix every once in a while," she sighed dreamily. "And it pays to put myself as a kid from a filthy rich family and pretty much own the entire world. Thank you, Uncle Giovanni. I love my matchmaking schemes."

"What about matchmaking?" Gary turned to her sharply. She gave an innocent smile. "What did you do? Natty, you've been going all over the region, setting up couples of all sexual orientations and race-"

"I'm equal opportunity and proud of it. Racism is wrong, insert the weird hold-hand-to-light test thing here. And I know you disapprove, but it's who I am. And you just have to deal with it, like I deal with your cockiness."

"You don't think she's really going to try and pair us all up?" May whispered nervously. "What if I end up with Drew, or even worse, Ash?"

"Really, that'd suck," Misty giggled. Ash frowned at both the girls. "Oh, calm down Ashy-boy. We're just teasing. We'd be lucky to have you," she kept her face serious until the final words, where May went ahead and laughed again with her.

"And people wonder why I hate girls," Ash muttered. "They're all too busy telling me I'm adoreable like a teddy bear and acting like I'm a two year old instead of being a sexy strong sixteen year old. Which I am."

"Sorry, that's Gary," Misty patted his shoulder sympathetically. "Hey, well, at least we can root for the Electabuzz so Casey doesn't kill us."

"The Electabuzz? The Electabuzz suck. They haven't won anything major in over thirty years," Drew scoffed. "Their pitcher can't hit the nineties, not even high eighties. He throws at eighty four tops. Their best batter hasn't gotten a single homerun for two season, not even a grand slam. And they look like they're fast asleep whenever they're in the outfield. They have to be the worst team in the league. The Turtwigs (I made a team up, so shoot me) aren't the best team around, but they're still way better than the Electabuzz are."

"Okay, the Electabuzz are not that bad. Last time I checked, the Turtwigs lost every game last season. So it's a mediocre team against the worst team in the league. I'm pretty sure the Electabuzz have the advantage this time. I bet they'll be winning come half time."

"I'll bet on that. The Turtwigs will be on top before the half-time show. Which is going to be really disappointing."

"I'll agree with you there. But what will we wager with? I have no money with me. I only have savings money and backup money for the gym. I can't waste it on bets. I can't be your servant or anything because I've got the gym to take care of. And if you've got some weird outfit you carry around at all times for embarrassing bets, we could use that."

"Shoot, I really wanted to bet too," Drew sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It's not often you come across a sure thing and someone to bet the opposite way."

"Why don't you wager a kiss?" Natty put in. "If Drew loses, he has to kiss May. If Misty looses, she's gotta kiss Ash, and I mean on the lips, because I know you'll cheat." She glared at Misty, then blinked at Drew. "You wouldn't have thought of it. You don't look for loopholes. You're a really bad liar, I've seen you lie. You suck. Oh, and you guys have to take the negative. Agreed you two? Shake hands."

"Wait, wait! Don't you have to have our consent?" Ash complained. "And what if I don't want to kiss Misty? What if I'm…I'm madly in love with May!" He exclaimed. "Yeah, sure. That'll work. Or what if I can't kiss anyone because of my religion?"

"Ash, you celebrate Christmas, so you're either Christian or Catholic. Neither of those religions forbid kissing. Unless you've had some secret life as a priest we're not aware of, which I'm sure you don't. And if you and May were a couple, you'd both die. You'd be on the road, and have no idea how to cook. You'd find some mushrooms, eat them without even thinking of the consequences, then jump off a cliff screaming "Fearrow!" once the poison sinks into your system. Sorry, but you're both a little on the slow side. But don't worry, you're all stupid in your own way. Like when will you figure out that the hot dog vendors are actually Team Rocket trying to steal Pikachu again," Natty rolled her eyes at the hot dog vendors slowly reaching towards Pikachu with gloved hands.

"Well, James. We've been discovered!" They ripped off their costumes and opened their mouths to say the motto.

"I better hear, Prepare for Trouble and Make it Double or the sound of feet running away, because if I hear the new motto I will hunt you down, knock you out, drag you to a basement and amputate parts of your body slowly and painfully until you die," Natty snarled. "I'm matchmaking here, and your new motto is completely dreadful."

"Team Rocket's running off again!" (Sorry, but I've had 15 one-shots without mentioning them! This one-shot sucks.)

"So what does take the negative mean?"

"Nothing really. I made up the term," Natty shrugged as the two shook hands.

"Please let the Turtwigs wing. _Please,_" May begged. "Oh, idea. Ash, come here. I have to talk to you." She grabbed Ash by the collar and dragged him out of the stadium.

"Why does everyone think it's okay to touch me? You know, if I touched you guys half as much as you touch me I'd be classified as a pervert. I didn't really mean it when I said I'm madly in love with you. You don't feel bad, do you?"

"No, Ash, don't be stupid. I know you love Misty. Besides, you're more like Max to me than anything," she waved him away. "But do you think we could get Misty and Drew to call off the wager? Just tell them all the bad that could come of it."

"No, because Misty won't call it off because that would admit being scared or being wrong. She hates both of those options. And if you tell Drew to call off the bet, he'll do the opposite to annoy you. If you tell him you lie the bet he'll say it sounds lie you want me to kiss you, you'll do your best to defend yourself, but we all now he'll win. Because Drew and Misty are the same person with opposite genders."

"Well, let's think of something else." They nodded and stood to think… Wow, this is taking longer than anticipated. Let's look somewhere else. How about…Misty, Max, and Drew back in their seats. (Which are floor seats because nobody wanted to go to the two worst teams playing against each other.)

* * *

"Can I place a bet too? Please!"

"Didn't May yell at you last time you started betting? She told me you got addicted to the math with the probability of betting or something. So you kept betting on a site called neopets or something under her name and lost all her money in the game."

"Bad day for probability" Max muttered. "Yeah, but that was a website! This has really statistics and numbers to crunch! You have to let me try!"

"Can't you do the math without the money?" Misty asked. Max glared at her with a 'what's the point' expression on his face. "You can ask May when she comes back with Ash. They've been gone for a while. Did someone asked them to multiply or something? Ho-oh." She sighed and looked back at Drew, the game was bad. She'd seen baseball games in the Major Leagues, the really good teams, but this was ridiculous! She could get better baseball on her street! "Hey, Drew? Do you think maybe we should change our wager?" Misty asked nervously, licking her lips. Drew shifted uncomfortably for a second.

"You mean call it off?"

"No!" Misty gasped. "Not that! I don't call off wagers! And I'm not afraid of risking it, because I know I'm going to win. But…it's not fair to Ash and May, is it? They have to suffer if one of us loses. Isn't that wrong?"

"It's not like we're raping them. It's just a kiss, right?" Drew glanced at Misty.

"May and I haven't had our first kiss yet. We were waiting, for the guy we like," Misty closed her eyes. "Listen, maybe I shouldn't tell you this. But May would hate it if the first kiss came out of a bet, especially if it was from…" she took a deep breath, "the guy she really, really likes. In that special way."

"May has a crush on me?" Drew asked. He looked at her with suspicion. "You're telling the truth, aren't you?"

"Drew, I am. Listen, it's almost half time (A/N: Dang, that was fast. How long we May and Ash thinking?) and I'm not lying. The game's tied, but the Electabuzz have the bases loaded and their best batter up. Even if he bunts he'll get two points, I'm sure. I don't care who wins right now, I don't care if the Turtwigs somehow manage to win. It doesn't matter if I'm…" Misty took a deep breath in and out, she could do this, she could do this. "wrong." She shivered at the word. She hated being wrong. "But even they do manage to loose, May's first kiss shouldn't be like this."

"I don't know…"

"Drew, a girl's first kiss is really special. Maybe it's not as great for you guys, I don't know, I've never asked, but it's really, really important to May. Don't take that away from her," Misty begged. "I'm being really nice here, this is rare."

"Please encourage her behavior," Natty smiled. "In a previous chapter she threatened me with a paintball gun. Those things are unpleasant when you get hit."

"But what do I do if I lose?" He asked.

"Clean the gym pool for a week. It's covered in dirt and wet, just like a is from Ash will be. I think that's equal," Misty grinned. Suddenly the crowd erupted into cheers. Misty and Drew's attention returned to the game. "No freaking way."

* * *

Meanwhile…

"Ow, May, my head hurts. This is way harder than battle strategy."

"Think, Ash! We've got to figure out a solution before half-time! You can get a to dog after we get an idea."

"I've got an idea."

"Really, what?"

"I get a hot dog."

"Ash!"

"Fine! I'll kiss Misty if I have to. And if Drew tries to come near you, I'll set Pikachu on him. There!" Ash huffed. "Violence always works best. Pikachu, would you mind staying with May for a little bit, please? You've heard the plan."

You owe me ketchup, May. Pikachu said as he hopped onto her shoulder. Be happy I like girls. I wouldn't do this for just anyone you know, prevented true love from taking it's course. Even though Ash keeps making me intervene. He glared.

"I'm sorry nothing's happened with Misty to make you happy. I get freaked out and the first thing that occurred in my mind it to say 'Pikachu, thunderbolt!' Besides, now I can finally get my hot dog, woo-hoo."

"Ash!" Misty screamed. "Come on, we've got to find a closet or something where no one can sees us so we can kiss because I freaking lost! That batter has got to be the worst in the world! He hit it right to the pitcher's feet. He got all three of the basemen out! Casey needs to choose better teams! The Electabuzz suck! And don't even think about getting a hot dog, I know what you put on those things! Here's a piece a gum," she shoved a package into his hand and rubbed her temples. "Ugh I'm never betting ever, ever again. There's gotta be some corner."

"No, I have to see it. I need proof that you did it, as part of the bet."

"So does she," Natty shrugged.

"Huh?"

"She's got to see you kiss May. I guess you guys got so caught up in the excitement you didn't notice. The game's tied. The Electabuzz didn't score any points, but the Turwigs didn't gain any either. So you have to hold up your end of the bargain to."

"No, Misty and I changed it. I have to clean her pool for a week."

"No," Natty giggled. "You never shook on it. You never even agreed verbally! You've got to kiss her, just like Misty's got to kiss Ash. But if you want, I can find somewhere private for you. I know the perfect spot. None of you are afraid of heights, right?"

"But…damn," Drew sighed. "Fine, there's nothing I can do about it. Show us some place private." Natty went skipping off, the others trailing behind. "May?" Drew whispered to her. She looked up at him innocently.

"Yeah, Drew?" He looked both ways, then swiftly pulled her into a corner behind a Dippin' Dots vendor and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. She gasped as he pulled back, her face flushed. "What was that for?"

"Your first kiss shouldn't be from a bet. It should be something sweet from someone you like." May gawked at him. "Don't look at me like that! You know how I know." May suddenly frowned, and stomped out of the corner. "Don't kill Misty! She was just trying to help!"

"I'm helping too, I'm telling Ash," May sniffed.

"No, no! May! That's wrong! Misty and Ash have a delicate relationship! Come back!" May continued storming off. "Damn." He said, rushing off to catch up before May did.

"Drew, May? What's up? Why are you breathing so heavy?" Ash blinked as they came closer.

"Ash, May is about to tell you something that will upset Misty. If Misty finds out, I need you to control her, because if you don't, your little girlfriend is going to kill mine," Drew said between gasps for air. "I never run that fast, that's hard."

"I do that every day," Ash smiled. "Hey, wait. Misty's not my girlfriend."

"Yeah, but she wants to be," May tattled. "She likes you. She's got a huge crush on her."

"You're lying because Misty told Drew that you like him, and he did something to give it away. Did you kiss? You did!" Ash said triumphantly when they began to blush. "Wow, that's the first time I've ever gotten anything right. That feels good."

"I'm not lying, Misty really does like you."

"Sure she does," Ash laughed. "Maybe you did get a hold of some of those mushrooms Natty was talking about. I've traveled with Misty for I don't know how long, shoot, there's a lot of stairs, where's Natty taking us? She doesn't like me. Friends help friends, and we argue. That's all." He looked ahead and then began to whisper. "And everyone knows and like her, and they say she likes me back, but I don't think she does. Besides, I really don't think someone like her would end up with someone like me. She knows she can do better, after all, she got a million offers in the Orange Islands."

"But she didn't stay with them, did she? She stayed with you!" May consoled him. "She does like you! I'm not lying. You took all the fun out of it, Ash. Why do you have to be an idiot? Couldn't you make fun of her for it or something?"

"That's not nice."

"She betrayed my trust. I don't like it when people do that. And they do it a lot. Like Harley and Max and my parents and you a few times, Brock did once, Ash did accidentally, now Misty did too, and this one girl in my first grade class-"

"May, I don't want your life story," Ash cut her off.

"Alright, here we are. Go ahead guys," Natty said, leaning against a pillar. "We're in the nosebleed section, you can't go any higher. There's no one around for about fifty rows down. Start making out." She silently beckoned Ash to her side.

"May and I kissed back there already," Drew said, more to assure Misty than to get out of the bet.

"We could do it again though, to prove it," May suggested with a shy smile. They closed the distance between them to give a little peck that slowly developed into something more. The bet forgotten, passion took over, leaving poor Misty in the background to scream 'I got it! I understand! Stop! At least get a room!'

"Ash, have you ever thought about taking a chance?" Natty whispered.

"What? No! What if she doesn't like me? What if I'm not her type?" Ash groaned.

"Yeah well? What if all the that ever like you aren't the kind of girls that you like? What if you find out you've met the right one and screw it up? Are you going to always think you're a failure? Are you going to give up? You can't live your life always worried about what if, Ash. I mean, what if you die tomorrow and you never even lived?" Natty scoffed. "Go for it, Ash. What's the worst that could happen? She won't like you? It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at also do it, and don't be a pansy!"

"Fine! Don't hurt me! I will," Ash said, stumbling away from her and into Misty. "Uh, Mist?" She ignored him, still yelling at the new couple. "Mist? Misty! I've got something to tell you!" Ash frowned. He'd gotten the silent treatment once from her and learned that it was the worst thing he would ever experience. Ash was used to being the center of attention, whether or not he wanted it. He did not like being ignored any more than Misty liked being wrong. "MISTY!" He shouted. He grabbed her by the shoulders and brought her lips to his until he felt the need to breathe, his body pleasantly tingling.

"Ash?"

"Could you pay attention?" He fumed. "I was trying to tell you that I had a crush on you because it's better to have loved lost then loving to love and you're supposed to kiss me to fill out the bet, aren't you?"

"Ash," Misty said, slamming him up against the wall with a force that almost knocked the breath out of him. "I told Drew, and I'll tell you, I don't care about the bet. I care about a girl's first being special. And I guess you really made it that way, didn't you? I'll never forget that. But could the second kiss be a bit more romantic, and nicer…" she blushed, "and longer?"

"Sure, Mist." And there was two second kisses, side by side, pretty passionately too.

"Hey, Gary, check out the screen," Natty whispered to her boyfriend. He glanced up to see the two couples on the screen, 'congratulations' scrolling at the bottom.

"How many people did you tell to look at this game at home?"

"How many people do you know?" Natty smirked. "And if any body missed it, I TiVo'd it at home." She looked down at Max, who was thoroughly grossed out. "See that? Do you want to keep betting if that's the side affect?"

"No. No more bets."

"Good boy."

* * *

Well, I hate that fic. I think I like my more serious ones better. How 'bout y'all? The next one has more graphic scenes, for all you crossing your fingers for a make-out scene out there. The next one's another sweet sixteen, but it's May's. I think it'll be cute, maybe.

Gibberish: You should review, because I'm unhappy. I have to read "All Quiet on the Western Front" and, personally, I'm getting sick of him talking about his cruddy life. Lots of people have it worse! Like POW's. And he's just really boring. I don't care about beans or shoes. Stop talking about beans and shoes! He better get into that one kill scene soon...


	17. DM May's Sweet Sixteen

Gosh, have I ever felt angst-y lately. I even wrote a very, very angsty fanfic that I decided against posting. The real romance comes at the end. I like AAML better, but there's lots of DAML too! Don't despair! There's a stupid kissing scene for you…Well, here's May's Sweet Sixteen, enjoy.

AAML & DAML (lots of both!)

Some girls can't date until they're sixteen. Natty said girls in Spain or some other Sapnish country have a rite of passage at a younger age, like, fourteen or something. Sorry, my mind just keeps wandering. I'm not going to tell anyone. It's not like my mind is wandering because I don't like my party, it's because Ash and Misty are supposed to be on their best behavior. That never let's any of us teens have any fun. At eighteen they still act younger than us, still haven't admitted they like each other. But now it's less of a denial. They've kissed a few times, as if to prove that they didn't feel anything. I don't know, they're weird.

"Drew," I smiled at him before picking at my nice, pretty, white dress. "I'm glad you could be here." He gave me a small smile before glaring down at his tuxedo.

"Glad to come, May. But did it really have to be a dress-up party?" he sighed. I giggled behind my hand, an old reminder of two years ago when I had braces. I wear a retainer now, but I take it off whenever I can. My mom keeps saying my teeth won't stay straight. Nobody wears their bottom retainer, so I don't bother either. It makes you talk funny, anyway. "Put your hand down. The braces aren't on and nobody cared when they were."

"They looked dorky," I blushed. He rolled his eyes and scoffed something about my concern for my appearance. I'm a girl! I'm allowed to care! (A/N: To each their own…weirdo…) "Don't be mean, Drew, it's my special day."

"Your special day should be is when you get married. A birthday comes annually. You only get married once," he shrugged, "unless you're my dad, then it's more like an unexpected birthday coming at a different time but always once every year." I giggled again, covering my mouth once more. "Stop it!"

"Okay, you two. Say it. You may not be my daughter, Misty Waterflower, but I'm responsible every time you come to Pallet and whenever your sisters say I chaperone, so don't argue," Mrs. Ketchum pushed the two teens in front of her, Ash with a slight attitude.

"I'm eighteen."

"You don't act your age," She said, crossing her arms and nodding towards me. "Go ahead now."

"Thank you for inviting us to your party, May" they said in sink, Ash's voice was a bit nasal and fake, but I let it slide…just kidding.

"You don't sound very thankful, Ash," I grinned once Mrs. Ketchum had walked away with a satisfied nod. He frowned at me and drew a finger across his throat. "Ash Ketchum! Are you telling me you're going to kill me? Not on my birthday!" I gasped in mock horror. "Say it, or I'll call your mom back over."

"Aw, come on. You know I'm glad to be here. Mist will support me, right?"

"Ash used a nasally voice so he'd show that he wasn't thankful at all. He'd rather be pokémon training, he told me so," Misty tattled, sounding like a seven year old. I suddenly felt like a mother with two bickering siblings. I pity my mom and everything she must've gone through with Max.

"Shut it, Kasumi!" He snapped. He clamored up onto a table, avoiding the adult punch bowl and party food, and pointed down at his friend. "Her middle name is Kasumi! Misty Kasumi Waterflower! Misty Kasumi, Misty Kasumi!" He taunted, turning it into a sing song chant. Misty paled, horrified, then turned to anger.

"Oh yeah? He's Ashton Satoshi Ketchum! Ashton Satoshi, Ashton Satoshi!" She chanted back. They looked ridiculous. Ash's hair was slicked back, he was in a tux, looking very handsome. Misty's hair was curled to fall around her face, her surprisingly bright pink dress (she says it's from her sisters, I don't think it is) is floor length, punk high heels, and she's been tripping all night. But, really, it's not every day that you see two fully grown teenagers argue like they're two. Unless you happen to know them. You don't, do you?

"May, stop daydreaming, here comes my favorite part," Drew put his hand on my arm. I barely held in a sharp breath at the tingling, burning sensation his light fingers were leaving. I swore if he pulled them away, they would be white scars, like burnt skin.

"What are you two _doing_?" Gary snarled. The two stopped, frozen. They'd actually grown a lot closer since Gary stopped going for badges and picked up on pokémon researching. He's no longer Ash's rival, and no threat to the thing Misty loves best about her boyfriend, even if she won't admit it, his pride. "Ash, get off the table! Stop shouting! It's all adults here, you could've just told Drew and May, they're the only ones who care. Misty? Come on! Act a little more mature. You two should be able to keep one another's secrets. You promised to behave, so behave."

"But Gary, we've been good all night," Misty complained. "I sat still when we gave those surprise speeches about May, I gave mine really nice and calm. So did Ash! We were good all night, Gary. We can't help doing something bad after being so good."

"What about that little incident with the Ipod during the dance?" Gary said, looking back between the two of us. "I only know two people here who like the Plain White T's enough to download their music onto an MP3."

"That was an accident!" Ash shouted. "You can't yell at us for that."

"I'm not, I'm yelling at you because after that accident you kept it plugged in and said 'wait, I've got better songs'. And I'm not yelling, I'm being very calm with you two. If you guys can't be serious you're going to have to sit on opposite sides of the room. Treat this like your saving the world escapades."

"But you're supposed to have fun at parties!" Misty whined.

"I never said don't have fun. Just don't disrupt other people while you do. This is probably the most adult party you've had since…since ever," Gary rubbed his temples. "You guys need to… I don't know, have fun, be quiet."

"You can be quiet and have fun?" Ash wrinkled his nose as he slid back off the table. "What a loser way to have fun. The only thing I can think of is making out," He smiled at Misty. She shoved his head and let him crash to the floor.

"Not gonna happen, stop begging Ketchum," she laughed.

"They're so cute," I said, going into a romantic daydream which…didn't involve…Drew…(cough) we kissed in a park (cough). Huh, doesn't work as well when you write. "Drew, do you think I'll ever find someone I could be like that with. Do you think you ever will?"

"Nah, we'd never be like that," He confirmed. He froze and blushed. "Uh, I mean, we with other people. Me and someone, and you and someone. Not you and me. Is it hot in here? Hasn't rained in forever. I'm getting punch." He stood up stiffly and walked to the bowl.

"Drew!" I called, he turned, glass halfway to his mouth. "If you drink that, you may very well possibly be thinking about me and you in a relationship." He put the glass back down, still blushing, and walked away. He was so nervous. I couldn't understand why. You know what else felt bad? That the only way he could ever think of us together is if he was drunk. He had to have some brainkiller in his body to even consider having an ugo (A/N: Ugh-oh, ugly person) like me. I felt like crying. I'm such a baby.

"Grey skies are gonna clear up, so put on a happy face!" Misty sang brightly, plopping down on the couch next to me with a concerned smile. "What's wrong, birthday girl? Sweet Sixteen's are supposed to be fun and pretty and girly," she paused, "though after all my sister's Sweet Sixteen's I got a little tired of them, so I went paintballing for mine. I know, I know, I should've stopped hitting Ash after the first splotch of paint, I love the sound he makes when he's hurt. Besides, I waited until the end of the game. He just looked so cute in his army-like uniform. And he was the one who got me out too. The bd. You're not supposed to tag out the birthday girl," She glared at him from a distance away.

"Drew has to be drunk to think about dating me," I said, leaning on her shoulder and taking in a shaky breath. "It's 'cause I'm an ugo, isn't it?" She wrapped an arm around me and pulled me close with a sigh.

"Okay, first, stop hanging out with Ash because you're starting to talk like him."

"Yah, but you hand out with him so much you're starting to love him."

"Do you want me to leave?" She huffed. "Because if you keep doing that every time I say something slightly insulting, I'm going to start walking away. You know I don't like that kind of talk, especially after I eat." I shook my head no. "Good. Now, most important, you are not an ugo. And you don't need a man to say you're pretty. You can be comfortable with yourself knowing you are a beautiful, bright, intelligent young woman."

"I'd rather have a guy tell me I'm sexy," I frowned. "I don't care how slutty it sounds. It's feels nice when a cute guy calls you pretty! Three cheers for degrading women, I want to feel pretty!" I snapped. "Oh, why does he hate me? I don't care if we can't ever be together or anything like that, but couldn't it be like Romeo and Juliet where we love but can't ever be close? Except without the getting married, losing our virginity and dying thing."

"I don't think he hates you. In fact, I think he likes you. I think he wants to tell you tonight, and that's why he's been acting so nervous all night and that' swhy he wouldn't dance with Ash and me to 'Hey There, Delilah'." She nodded firmly. "Why can't you be together?" She added as an afterthought.

"Misty!" Ash gasped from the nearby refreshment table, dropping his half eaten cookie to the ground, and one untouched. Pikachu rushed by, a crowd of pokémon following him, and snatched it up. "Guys, if you fight over that cookie, take it outside. Don't let it get wet in the ocean out there," he told them. They nodded and rushed out the open back door. "But Mist, what are you doing?"

"Oh, right, sorry," Misty sighed, whacking her forehead for her own stupidity. "But you shouldn't be eavesdropping anyway. And I didn't hear it from Ash who didn't hear it from Drew who didn't write it down on a piece of paper to trade with Ash to find out who he liked and if and how he was planning on telling her. Which Ash refuses to tell me, pansy," She glared back at him.

"You're the pansy. You want the truth? Please, Misty, YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

"You're such a weirdo," Misty said, laughing anyway. She turned back to me. "If he doesn't tell you by the end of tonight you have to corner him and tell him how you feel. And you know what happens if I hear a 'what if' come out of your mouth."

"Yeah, I have to hear that stupid song 'What If' you like so much. You two need a life besides the Plain White Shirts or Skirts or whatever the heck they are. I know. But I'll do that if you and Ash kiss again," I smirked at them. Ash went back to eating cookies. "Ash, we all know you aren't really eating cookies. You're eavesdropping again."

"No, mum. I haven't been dropping no eaves, please don't tell Da!" He whined in a British accent. "Da Drew will kill me if he knew! And I really don't want it to hurt you're hot sexy relationship!" He cracked up.

"Ash, you perv!" Misty shouted, fighting a smile.

"I'm a perv? What about May? She's requesting you and I make-out in front of her so she can watch. That is way more perverted than my innocent statement," He pointed at me. I gasped at the accusation, Misty shrugged.

"Good point. May, you've beaten Ash on the perverted scale. Good luck telling Drew if he can't grow some bal-I mean, get the testosterone to tell you. Come on, Ash, let's go be good little children over there. But we have to walk, because we can't run or jump or skip or hit or play-"

"Or full contact wrestling," he sighed, walking away with her. it was only then that I'd discovered my own stupidity.

"Hey! You guys never kissed!" I crossed my arms over my chest with a pout. I froze and put them back down. "My maturity level is dropping fast, I've got to find someone to restore it. This is a job for…Ho-oh, am I a superhero now? I need to talk to Drew!" I raced around the Country Club, looking for my (in my dreams/nightmares) boyfriend-to-be. I'm just too hopeful for my own good. I'm never going to get to-

"May? What are you doing? It's time for presents!" My mother said, pulling me back from the room I'd just managed to escape. "I know I said we were going to wait until everyone left to open your presents, but I talked to everybody and they all got you wonderful gifts, with no duplicates! The party can go for at least another hour! Well, I haven't talked to your little friends but I'm sure they got you something no one got you."

"My present rocks!" Ash shouted. He grinned wickedly at Mom. "You have to be careful not to shake it though, it's why I put air holes in the box."

"Couldn't you have put it in a pokéball?" My mother asked nervously.

"What? Oh, no. I couldn't do that. I went through every pokéball I could, except a master ball, it just wouldn't work," he shook his head with a laugh. "Wild little monster. Everyone kept screaming something about the ancient prophecy and an ancient curse. Weirdo prophets."

"I have to open presents for an hour in front of people!" I squeaked. I have a firm belief, only to be strengthened by Natty, that opening presents in front of the people who gave them to you is the worst punishment on earth. You have to keep your happiness down so you don't disappoint people who gave bad presents by not acting as hyped up about them and act like the horrible presents you get are wonderful. Opening presents in front of people suck. "And stop lying to my mom, Ash," I scolded him.

"Really, Ash. You shouldn't lie" Misty shook her head at him and looked back at May's mother. "He tried the master ball too."

"Cut it out," I giggled, patting my mom's arm. "They don't do stuff like that." I sent her off. "I'll be there in a second. Just because you're a Pokémon Master doesn't mean you can make up stories and places," I whispered to them. "Unless you can get me out of opening presents."

"We might be able to do that," Ash nodded at Misty, who nodded back. "Yeah, we can totally do that. You better open my present early. Do you mind getting your dress dirty?"

"I don't want my dress dirty!"

"Oh, then the plan of being inconspicuous is out," Misty sighed. "Mrs. Ketchum is going to kill us for it. But we're all getting out of this party one way or another. We'll take Drew along too," She smiled, the plan falling into place in their minds.

"I'll leave it up to you then," I shrugged, hoping they weren't planning anything drastic. I quietly tapped my mom on the shoulder. "Mom, I'm a little worried about Ash's present. Would you mind if I opened it first…in private? Just to be safe."

"That might be a good idea," My mom nodded. She handed her the bulky box with air holes, I almost collapsed under it's weight. What the heck did Ash put in there? "I thought you said they were joking."

"I thought they were," I gulped nervously. "Ash, could you come here for a second? Let's open this…thing…"

"Ketchum," Misty muttered, walking past me. "He's just being a bad boy. Once he got a bit of intelligence he's been up to all kinds of tricks. I'm sure there's nothing dangerous in the box, just open it."

"Maybe we should have Ash open it," Drew said, looking at me with concern. Then there was that fabulous clichéd moment, the one where the eyes meet, and even though it feels like eternity, it takes only moments. He had such pretty eyes, I could get lost in them, was getting lost in them. He wasn't breaking the stare either, his face as blank as mine, when suddenly a hand came crashing down in front of my eyes and snapped twice, making me jump.

"Earth to May, earth to May, do you read?" Ash asked me. I blushed and nodded as Drew yanked me away from the box, eyeing it nervously. "Mist, you and I never did the eye thing, did we? We couldn't have. No one ever told us about it."

"Oh, so you _don't _remember Maiden's Peak," Misty smiled wickedly. Ash never mentioned Maiden's Peak to me or Max. I wondered why, until his face turned bright red and he began to stutter for an answer.

"I-it was the first t-time you wore a, a, a k-kimono, and had your h-hair down. I-i-i-i-it was surprising, th-that's all! I just nuh-never th-thought you'd look so pretty, not pr-pretty, girlish!" He flushed, then shook it off and turned back to me. "Don't you want to open your present? It's the best part!"

"She's not getting near that thing," Drew hissed protectively. "It looks like a rage crate!" (A/N: Obviously, I made it up. It's for when a pokémon uses rage on the outskirts of a town and gets out of control, so they restrict it in a crate to keep the townspeople safe. It's possible.)

"Fine," He opened the box and held out a pokéball with a pink seal. His smile returned instantly. "I just put rocks in the bottom, the pokémon was a menace to catch though. Was searching for hours to find it. It's not very cute, but they're really loyal. It'll listen without a psychic connection, lying b-witch Sabrina," He looked to the heavens, "I love you, don't kill me or turn me into a doll. Besides, with all the falls you have, it's good to have something like this around." He tossed it to me, which I barely caught, then I released the pokéball.

**Happy B-Day May! **The words hung in the air with pink ribbons dancing around it. Once it cleared, a small abra was laying down on the floor, looking more like it was dead than sleeping.

"Oh my gosh, is it okay?" I gasped. Ash giggled and nodded.

"Yeah, it just sleeps lying down instead of sitting up. I've trained it up for ya too, just one more win in a battle and it'll evolve into a Kadabra, which will be awake more than, like, five minutes a day which'll be nice."

"It's a great present, Ash. I really do love it, I do! But how am I going to get out of the party with it."

"Huh? Get out of the party with it? I had another plan in mind, I just wanted to get away from the crowd to do it."

"It can use teleport.," Misty growled, rubbing her temples, "It can use teleport and get us right out of here."

"Okay," Ash scoffed with a roll of his eyes. "Let's do your idea, the one without the string and the applesauce and party streamers and the fun!" Misty muttered something under her breath. "What was that?"

"At least it'll work, unlike yours."

"Well…okay yeah. My plan might, just _might_ not have worked, but it would've been a lot of fun to do!" He turned to me and smiled. "It's your pokémon, give the command!"

"I don't know if I should yet, shouldn't we-"

"Don't be a wimp. Just do it," Ash crossed his arms over his chest and stomped his foot childishly. "You should be having fun on your birthday. You could've had fun if your mom let you invite more kids, you could've had fun if you had done my plan, and now the only way you'll have fun on your birthday is if you say the magic words 'Abra, use teleport!'" He huffed. A flash of light and they were gone, outside in the cloudy weather on a sandy beach.

"Oh shoot, where are we? Ash, where's the little Abra programmed to go?" Misty asked him sweetly. Ash looked around nervously for a second before beginning to stutter a reply. He's been stuttering more and more lately, funny, it was kind of like Drew.

"Wh-where are we?" He said. "Oh, that's easy! We're…we're in Ka…the Kabuto region," He lied.

"There is no Kabuto region," Misty frowned. Suddenly, she whipped out a mallet and held it over Ash's head. "You've gotten us lost again Ash Ketchum, you've got the homing sense of an absol!" She screamed, whamming down onto his head.

"I may have the homing sense of an absol, but at least I'm cuter than a muk, stronger than a dandelion, and more girlish than a machamp, unlike a certain redhead I know!" He said, his eyes sparkling. Misty gave a banshee yell and tackled him into the sand, sending the rolling in a mix of dry land and high tide waters.

"I just don't have the heart to tell them that the clubhouse your party's in is right over there," Drew pointed. I followed his finger and giggled, clearly seeing the place we'd escaped from. I felt his hand grab mine, and the giggled abruptly stopped. "Don't do that," he scolded lightly. My fingers tingled at his touch. Oh, I liked romance as well as the next girl, but should I really be falling for my rival? "you've got a pretty smile. You should show it," he showed me a grin of his own.

My heart melted and I couldn't stop the words from pouring out of my mouth, "you've got a pretty smile too. You ought to smile more." I blushed and pulled my hand away. No, it wouldn't work. If I fell for him, how could I stand battling him in a contest? I know I'd let him win. And if he fell for me we'd just both try and throw the match for one another. We looked out on the ocean as he gently started to hold my hand. I shivered, loving the electricity racing up my spine, but pulled my hand away. I had to stop this now.

"Oh," Drew said quietly, feeling rejected. "Guess you don't like me like that. I'm such an idiot. I'm dumber than Ash. Ash is an idiot, but even he knows not to listen to an idiot like him. Why would I think that when he said you liked me it was true?"

"Drew, I do like you," I said, lightly touching his shoulder. He caught my eyes.

"Just not as more than friends," He said, his voice still soft. There was that magical moment again, where two lover's eyes lock and they can't look away. My heart overflowed with emotion, bouncing around in my chest so loud I knew even Ash and Misty could hear it over their screaming. But nobody stopped us this time, and it was just going on and on…I finally managed to tear my gaze away with a flush.

"No, more than friends," I gave a sad little smile. He looked baffled, a rare thing for him, his mouth slightly open, eyes wide. It was so comical. I reached up and closed his mouth with a giggle, "something's going to fly in there if you're not careful." I turned to walk to Ash and Misty, "Guys, come on! Stop fighting!"

"Wait, May!" Drew called, grabbing my wrist and yanking me back, uncomfortably close. His arms curled around my waist, bringing my face close to his. "I like you, and you like me, but you don't want to do anything romantic? If that's true, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

"Drew, listen for a second," I tried, shifting in his grasp. He frowned down at me. "You're right, I do like you. But I need to concentrate on my career as a pokémon coordinator." He leaned forward a few inches to touch his lips to mine, I gasped, feeling dizzy. "Okay, don't do that."

"How come?" He asked.

"Well, I need to concentrate on my career, like I said."

"And this is my response to that," he smirked, giving a quick kiss again. I felt light headed, it was so blissful, my eyes half closed, but I shook it off. "And you can still think about your career. Lots of people have a relationship while they're focusing on a career. Besides, you were never that good of a coordinator anyway."

"Ignoring that last comment, and if we were in a relationship, could we really compete against each other?" I inquired. Suddenly, we looked over at a scream from Ash and Misty, bringing out there pokeballs.

"I challenge you to a battle, Satoshi!" She screamed.

"Bring it, Kasumi!" He waved her on.

"Okay, that's just really bad timing," I sighed, looking back at him. He smiled down at me, and the hundreds of reasons I had drifted away on a passing cloud. His eyes were so beautiful, I had always liked green eyes.

"So what other reasons do you have?" He inquired.

"I'm a little scared, relationships are always freaky, and this would be my first serious one," I blurted, my face hot. "And I know that sounds really stupid, I know it does, but it happens and I've read of it in romance novels too, so I don't think I'm the only one and-"

"May, stop talking," he murmured, and kissed me again. (A/N: Here's your stupid kissing scene…) I felt my legs go weak beneath me as he pulled me in tighter and pressed harder, deepening the kiss. He licked my lower lip, and my lips parted without my consent. I surprised myself with a moan as we got to first base. I felt him smirk a bit, proud of his little accomplishment. I nipped his lips, trying to get revenge, but he gave a groan of pleasure.

"Sadomasochist," I giggled. He grinned and pulled away as well, beginning to slowly kiss and nip the flesh of my neck. I was still moaning when Ash and Misty started screaming get a room, then raced far away. I smiled anyway, because I discovered that making out was really, really…well, sexy.

(DAML is over, here's the AAML. I changed it to third person, no POV guys.)

"Ew, it's nice that they got together, but all I want to see is a quick kiss to show it, not tongue action. And do they have to be so _loud _about it?" Misty wrinkled her nose, almost gagging at the sound echoing in her mind.

"Oh, and you're one to say something. You moaned pretty loud when we were making out," Ash grinned back wickedly. Misty frowned and slammed him into the sand, lying on top of him with her lips curled in a snarl.

"Don't you ever mention it again, I was acting and you know it. I was saving your butt, big time."

"You saved me from some fangirls, thanks a lot," He rolled his eyes. "You were moaning even after they left us alone," he smiled. "You were really, really loud. You're just a loud person in general, aren't you? Can't imagine what you'd sound like when you're having-"

"Don't even think about finishing that sentence," She said, her cheeks red. "And you were moaning too, you kept kissing long after they were gone. And you weren't exactly quiet in other regions either," she narrowed her eyes. Now it was Ash's turn to redden.

"Okay, you win."

"Great," She giggled, rolling off of him and lying next to him in the sand bank. "What's my prize?"

"Wanna cookie?" He smiled, beckoning Pikachu over to us. The fluffy creature shoved the cookie into her hands, licked her cheek, and raced back to his companion. Misty frowned, unsure of where the cookie had been. "I told Pikachu to save it for me, I'm sure it's as clean as when I grabbed it off the plate."

"Are you positive?" She asked.

"No, of course not," he scoffed. "But it can't be that bad, nothing worse than sand. Since when do you care?"

"Since you and your pokémon have been running around with it," she teased. She bit the cookie in half, frowning as something crunched under her teeth, but bit through it anyway. She sucked away the cookie and pulled out the object.

"What's this?"

"It's a ring from one of those twenty five cent things. I wanted to do something romantic, but I knew that you'd bite through silver with those jaws of yours," Ash grinned. He pulled out another ring from his pocket, this one silver, and offered it to her with a smile. "Ya wanna go steady, Mist? We've been together a lot, and if you like me, it's easier just to go for it all instead just one date," he smiled.

"Oh, Ash!" Misty said, throwing herself on top of him again. "Of course I will you idiot!" She kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Okay, can we get a room before we start making out, because you are really freaking loud," he laughed a bit. She whacked him lightly, then nodded. "Let's go back to the country club, there's an upstairs girls bathroom that I heard has a lock and a couch."

"Perfect," Misty smiled. "At least May really did get a super Sweet Sixteen."


	18. AM Lucky Girl

I'm back! It's pokeshipping, but yu contestshippers need to send in an iea for a plot, because I've got nothing!

Oh, and by the way, I know my kissing scenes suck, very brief and un-descriptive. I haven't had any kissing experience yet, all right? That's awfully hard to write when you haven't been kissed. I guess I'll try them without posting for a while, if I get something good, I'll post it if you want, just tell me so in a review.

* * *

Ash frowned and gripped the metal bars tightly. This _could not _happen. Six _years _on the road, _six _years of epic battles, all those years of annoying Team Rocket popping up, but never, never in all that time had they ever managed anything like _this._ Never had they ever managed to put him, Ash Ketchum, in a cage, all alone, no pokémon, no exit strategy, needing…oh, how it killed him to say it. Well, he wouldn't then. He could do this. He was perfectly fine and, screw it. The thing he needed more than anybody else was…"Misty! Help!" He called out, fire engine red. He fell the floor of the metal His tailbone hurt a bit, just not as much as his pride. He'd gone for a walk alone, and saw Misty not too far back, fishing and well within hearing range. Ash moaned, this was a _bad _day.

"Calling out to your little girlfriend won't save you now!" Jessie laughed wickedly. She bounced around with her team. "We did what we had said we'd do, and now with have your Pikachu!" They laughed together.

"Ugh, talk about some half-baths short of a condo." (A/N: My friend Riku made that up, it's not mine.) Ash muttered. "And she's not my girlfriend! We're just really, really, really good friends."

"With benefits?" James inquired, sitting done and facing him. "Friends with benefits could be an exciting way to start a relationship. It may help you guys shift into a normal relationship, don't you think?"

"Ew, no!" He shouted. "Just friends, no benefits! Well, of course there's good stuff about being her friend, but not the kind you mean! I mean, benefits? I don't want any kind of benefits from any girl! Any girl, not just Misty," he nodded to himself. "Good, now she won't kill me."

"But we saw you and the twerpette kiss."

"Huh? Oh, CPR. I was dying, she was the only one there who knew it. Everyone else was scared to come because of the so-called danger of fishing in a huge river full of rocks with a fast moving current. Losers," he shook his head at the thought of his other friends. "Then she hit me with that stupid mallet of hers for 'trying to get myself killed' her words, not mine. And stop calling her twerpette, you know her name's Misty."

"Right," James nodded. "What were you doing in the water, anyway? Even you're not that stupid to go in for no reason."

"Uh, I saw something shiny at the bottom," he blushed. "Swam down, saw it was just a piece of glass, and smacked my head of a rock hard enough to get knocked unconscious. Misty dove in and dragged me out. Stupid Olympic level swimming ability. Why'd her parents teach her how to swim before she could walk?"

"So when she found her true love she could save him from water?" James giggled. Ash glared. "So, back to the main point. Have you ever had any sort of, you know, benefit at all?" he asked. Ash frowned.

"Why aren't you guys running away like usual?" He asked. "Mist, where the hell are ya?" Ash shouted, tilting his head back into the air. He looked back down at them. "She's probably got a bite and figures I could wait a bit. Anyway, why are you still here?"

"We know you'll catch up if we run, then we have to fight. Might as well wait for someone to come to us before we go blasting off again," Jessie sighed, plopping down next to James with Pikachu beside her. "So stop avoiding the question and start spilling."

"Gossiping fruitcakes," he sighed.

"We're sitting right here, you know, we can hear you just fine," James explained.

Ash nodded, "I know."

"Answer the question twerp, do _you _Pikachu?" Ash asked smugly. Pikachu shook his head no and smiled sweetly from his electric proof cage. He had long since given up trying to escape from such things, all it had ever done was waste energy.

"_But I know someone affectionately named Dumbass," _he smirked. "_And he's in a metal cage, surrounded by bars, with no girlfriend."_

"You've gotten mean," Ash glared, then laughed. "Besides, I have too gotten 'benefits' before," he air quoted. "I'm not a total loser you know, it took pretty much forever to hit puberty but now that I have-"

"CPR with you little red-headed girl friend doesn't count," Jessie glared and crossed her arms.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Ash shouted. He sighed and let himself fall backward to lay down on the hard floor, his head hitting the ground harder than intended. "Ow. Why do you have to pry? If you spy so much, you've got to know that I have absolutely no love life, never have, never will." He took a deep breath to scream. "Come on, Misty, I really, really actually need you this time! I'll totally catch you a bunch of water pokémon if you come and give you chocolate and stop trying to barb the barber to shave your head when you're not looking!"

"What, all the girls you liked rejected you?" James asked.

"I never asked any girls out," he gritted his teeth, feeling stupid. Who knew Team Rocket would be able to do this to him? They exchanged a surprised look.

"So, all the guys you liked were straight?"

"Dammit, you're the nineteenth and twentieth people who've asked me that! I'm getting tired of it! I'm not gay!" He scoffed. "I only liked one girl, but this one girl never showed any sign that she liked me back. She said that we were just friends a lot. I never told her, so nothing's happened."

"Was she taken?" Jessie asked.

"No, never, except for this one time she went out with that Gary," his lips curled unhappily. "That Gary takes everything."

"_Aw, but you saved the world lots of times, Dumbass of Love! You were the Chosen One and well liked. He's only better because you just can't gather up the courage to say, 'will you go out to the movies with me-'"_ Pikachu began, getting cut off.

"Finish that sentence and I'm feeding you to the first purugly I find, you little demon rat!" Ash shouted.

"_How? You're in a cage! I can say it all I want! Team Rocket probably understands too! You like Misty, you like Misty! You can't say it to her face but you liiiiiiiiiiike her!"_ Ash flushed.

"Not true."

"_Please, I read your trainer log on your pokedex! You admitted you liked her like a million times in there!"_

"You're worse than a little brother, you know that?" Ash frowned. "You're just an overgrown rat with spark in your fat little cheeks. You're so cocky."

"_Sticks and stone may break my bones, but Gary kissed your girlfriend!" _He laughed.

"You've been watching too much of That 70's Show!" Ash glared. "Stop that!"

"_Though I may annoy you today, you're still in love with Misty."_

"That barely rhymes!" He frowned. "And it doesn't make any sense."

"_Does it annoy you?"_

"Yes."

"_Then it makes sense."_

"Do you know if Gary2 and Twerpette 2.0 to together? And Twerpette III and Gary Imitation Three? Are they together?" James asked, looking at Jessie who was getting out he wallet, just like he was.

"Uh, Drew and May have both told me or Misty they like one another, they're not together yet. Paul and Dawn were the other two, weren't they? Uh, I haven't really heard anything from them, but I guess it's possible."

"Yes! So far I've won two out of five!" James shouted triumphantly. "The ones you don't know is is Brock and Tracey are gay." He bounced up and down, as giddy as a schoolgirl. Ash stared at him for a minute.

"I thought you were gay," he blinked.

"You thought I was gay?" James gawked. (You can put the emphasis on 'thought' or 'gay' depending on your opinion.) "Shouldn't you call your lover again? She doesn't seem to be coming."

"She's just my girlfriend! I mean, friend girl! I mean…you know the story!" He took another deep breath. "Misty! Get your butt over here!" Nothing. "Oh, should I do this? I don't know. Uncomfortable situation against painful and uncomfortable situation." He stood and leaned against the bars. "But, I would get to see her, as cheesey as that sounds. Eh, why the hell not? I'm totally dead for this. Get over here you no good, tomboy, trips in heels, never wears her, excuse me, _his_ hair down, aggressive, bossy, scrawny little excuse for a girl, RUNT!" He was red in the face from shouting and gripping the bars.

She was at the clearing in a flash grabbing his shirt and slamming him into the bars. "Ketchum, what have I said about calling me a runt?" she snarled. He gulped.

"If I value my life I really shouldn't do it?" He shuffled in her grasp. "I'm real sorry Misty, real sorry! It's just I was captured by Team Rocvket and you weren't coming and they were gossiping and they're fruitcakes!" He whimpered.

"You'd better be," she growled. She released his shirt and turned with a much brighter attitude to Jessie, James, and Meowth. "Hey guys. Sorry I'm late. I got a really big bite and I figured Ash could wait a bit. Ash, stop mouthing 'I told you so' behind my back."

"How do you do that?" He gasped.

"Can you guys pretend you're scared, like when you were smaller?" Meowth asked. (I can write with his accent, sorry.) "I miss those days."

"If you say your old motto. I don't like how you changed it," Misty shook her head in disappointment. "It' doesn't matter what you say, you're always an annoying interruption from our adventure."

"We don't like it much either. We just wanted to try something different, you know," James added. "prepare for Trouble!"

"And make it double!" "To protect the world from devestation!" "To unite all peoples within our nation." "To denounce the evils of truth and love!" "To extend our reach to the stars above!" "Jessie," She stood with back to back with her partner, a red 'R' appearing behind them. "James!" "Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!" "Surrender now or prepare to fight!" "Meowth, that's right!"

"It's Team Rocket!" They gasped. The scene ended and they laughed and applauded at themselves.

"That was nice. Very fun. So, do you guys want to take on Blue, my Gyrados, or would you rather just toss my the keys?" Misty smiled as the keys flew through the air. "Aw, thanks!" She smiled.

"It's the least we could do for making us feel scary again. But we'll get you next time, twerps!" Jessie laughed evilly. "Oh, nice shoes!" She pointed at Misty's feet, where a brand new pair of sneakers were tightly tied.

"Oh! You like them? Me too! Thanks! Your uniforms seem brighter. Did you switch detergents or something?"

"Yeah, thanks for noticing. See you later, twerps."

"Team Rocket's walking off again!" They shouted, racing away. Misty spun around to the cage, the keys twirling on her finger.

"Alright, Ashy-boy, you know what I want to hear. Oh, and you still owe me a whole bunch of water pokémon, chocolate, and stop trying to get the barber to shave my head like Britney," She smiled.

"Why'd you take so long, it never takes that long to reel in a fish! Team Rocket was just about to set me up on a blind date!" He shouted. Misty giggled and released Pikachu. "What are you laughing at?"

"You. On date. You'd screw it up for sure! You're not romantic in the least! You'd be horrible, you'd probably challenge the poor girl to a pokémon battle. But, come on, say it or I'll leave you in there, you know I will too." He grumbled something under his breath. "Ah-ah, scream it."

"I'M A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS!" He shouted as his crush cracked up while shoving the key in the door. "Thank you," he kicked open the door, "And I'd be great on a date, for your information. I can be romantic."

"Really?" She said, obviously not believing it. "Tell me about it."

"Well, I'd pick her up and go to the door, especially if she's got, say, three older sisters who'll destroy my car if I use the two honk method," Misty giggled and Ash plunged on, encouraged. "I'm not a big fan of girly-girls, so I'd date a tom-boy. We'd go, I don't know, to that mini-golf, bumper boat, batting cage, go-kart place near my house. Then go out for some pizza and ice cream, as much as she wants, but if she gets more than one helping the price is split down the middle. Then go down to Prof. Oak's labs and look at some pokémon under the stars. Drive her home, walk her to the door, and if she fiddles with her keys, take it as a sign to kiss her."

"Wow," she gawked. "That actually doesn't sound that bad." She looked at him. "It sounds fun. You might be a good boyfriend after all. How'd you think of doing some so…so romantic?" She looked at him as they started walking home.

"Uh, how to have fun, too many romantic movies, and a romantic comedy Dawn and May double teamed on me to watch called 'Hitch'. The only part I thought was funny was when he kicked the girl in the head."

"Very nice." She nodded in approval.

Pikachu nipped Ash's ear. "Ow, what was that for?" He hissed. Pikachu gestured at Misty, her face that had been cheerful a second ago, was now tilted towards the ground, looking a bit sad and hurt.

She took a deep breath, shook her head, and continued on half-heartedly, "I'm sure you'll make a great boyfriend for some very lucky girl out there, Ash. Hope it' not someone too girly, or they'll kill you for the batting cages and go-karts."

And, suddenly, Pikachu got an idea. He raced off, found a four leaf clover, and raced back to his partner. Pikachu had a simply uncanny ability to find four leaf clovers almost instantly when requested. (Heh heh, sorry.) _"Here, use your brain to ask her out with this. Make a cute little pick up line, she left you perfectly open for one."_

"Pikachu, how do I make a pick up line with a lucky four leaf clover? All she said was I'd make a great boyfriend for some very lucky girl and, I mean, I'm pretty smart but even I can't figure out how to…oh!" He nodded and tapped his temple with one finger. "Got it." He tapped Misty on the shoulder and held it out to her when she turned his way. "Misty, here is a four leaf clover, just for you."

"Ash?" She said in confusion, taking it from his hand. "What, I mean, why? I…huh?"

He beamed proudly, "well, it's a lucky four leaf clover so you'll be a very lucky girl."

* * *

Well...there ya go.

You guys are awesome though! Almost one hundred reviews, and I'm in a good C2, you're all so sweet! Hugs and love to all you guys! Peace out, man! (giggles and shakes her head) That's not my generation, I've just been watching That 70's Show with Leo.


	19. DM April Showers

Okay, here's another idea from EVAN AAML! It's contestshipping! I added my own little twist in here. My friend sent me something called "TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE", and I'm using a bunch of them in here, as shown in bold. Here we go! It starts out with Ash and Misty, but that's just to get them out of the way. It's all DAML, okay? This is for you, my little contestshippers!

"I know you two are best friends, but do you really have to share everything?" May giggled, looking down at Ash and Misty, lying on the top and bottom bunk in the bunk bed, both moaning with sickness and fever. "Don't worry, the medicine will kick in soon."

"Yup, **NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine," **Natty giggled, holding up the bottle and shaking it at them. "We had to get something to shut you two up. And what better way than to knock you out, you little love-bugs."

"You know, **some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill them,**" Misty glared. She yawned and snuggled down deeper under the covers, facing the wall when the medicine started kicking in. "Oh my Ho-Oh, the room really is spinning," she groaned.

"Ugh, **consciousness: that annoying time between naps.**" Ash grinned sleepily, then rolled over himself.

"Idiot," Misty snapped. "can you guys get out of here? We're not leaving bed today."

"Okay, two things. One, **I'm not a complete idiot—some parts are just missing. **And two, **they call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken!"** He shouted down at her, the grabbed at his head. "I gave myself a headache."

"Well, I'm leaving before I catch something," May said, leaping up with Natty hot on her heels. "I've got a contest today. I can't believe we had to go out and get NyQuil in the middle of the night. I guess it's the least I could do since Mrs. Ketchum is letting Max, Drew, Misty and me stay here."

"I can't believe you all fit in this house," Natty rolled her eyes to the ceiling with surprise.

"Morning girls! Thank you so much for running out last night, May. Do you two want breakfast?" Mrs. Ketchum asked as they entered the kitchen, turning from the stove. May nodded eagerly and sat down, while Natty shook her head no and edge towards the door.

"Ah, **Ham and eggs…a day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig,**" She sighed. "No thank you, Mrs. Ketchum. It looks delicious, but I have chores to do today. I was just visiting Gary to get some of my stuff back and thought it'd be nice to drop by. I've got to go to the preserve."

"You live on a pokémon preserve?" Max gasped.

"You broke up with Gary again? Why?" May asked.

"Uh, well, let's just say **my boyfriend and I broke up over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.** See you later, I'll be at the contest," she smirked at Drew and May. "I simply can't wait to see you there. Toodles." She shut the door behind her.

"She sounds like evil psychopath," Drew mumbled.

"Poor thing must suffer from insanity," Max agreed.

"**I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it,**" She popped in one last time.

"She pops in out of nowhere, isn't that cute?" Mrs. Ketchum smiled. "Eat your breakfast kids, you have a hard day ahead of you. I've seen you both in contests, you're very good. Is there something going on between you two?"

"What? No!" May shouted, red. Drew smirked and flicked his hair with a confident air.

"Please, May wishes." Drew said, finishing up the last of his food. "Thank you for the delicious breakfast. I should head down to the contest arena. I need the extra time to sign autographs," He said, beginning to clear his plate.

"Oh, I'll do that," Mrs. Ketchum smiled taking it from his hands. "I wish you good luck at the contest, Drew. I'm sure you'll wipe the competition away." He smiled and nodded, heading for the door. Mrs. Ketchum looked after him leave. "He's a very handsome boy, May. Are you sure there's nothing going on between you two? I've heard a lot from Ash and Misty about you two. But, then again, they seem to use it as a distraction so they stop being told they're in love." She glanced back at May. "Shouldn't you be heading off too, dear?"

"I should!" May nodded, grabbing up her stuff and trying to clean her plate at the same time.

"Just go on, May. I'll clean it up, just hurry! You don't want to be late, do you? I thought you'd leave earlier than Drew, since you left your make-up and such in your locker at the contest arena, didn't you?"

"I did! But…it's not my fault!" She wailed, rushing out the door. "Drew was talking all last night and keeping me up, I don't know when he fell asleep, but it was after me, and he still woke up earlier! How is that possible? I hate him! He's horrible! He's mean and-"

"Handsome and a total dreamboat. He's so sweet the way he gives me roses," Max giggled in a girly voice that sounded quite like May. She shrieked and glared at him, not breaking her stride. "Yeah, I've been reading your diary again. Sorry, but it's so funny!"

"Where'd you learn to pick locks?" May growled.

"I'm not supposed to tell," Max grinned. His sister glared. "It was Misty. She picked the locks on her sister's diary all the time. Us younger siblings have to stick together, you know!" He said gleefully. "You better beat me there, or I'm telling Drew!" He laughed.

"Max, **don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive,** and I've got your ticket out of here!" She screamed. Max gave a frightened yell as his sister gained, this was going to hurt…

"So, you're May?" Came a snide voice behind her. May turned in her chair, looking up at the girl.

"Uh, yeah. Who are you?"

"April," she said, extending her hand. May reached out to shake it, but the girl yanked it away and ran it through her strawberry blond hair to reveal stunning gray eyes. "So you're _May_, that famous coordinator? After all I heard I was expecting, I don't know, something…more?"

"What do you mean?" May asked.

"Well, you're a mess.. Your clothes don't really seem to fit, you know they're tight, but tight like you're too fat to be wearing them type, you could stand to tighten a bit, or at least get a bigger size. Maybe you should get some volumizer for your hair, you know, shampoo and conditioner with volumizing action. After all, it's a little deflated, and you ought to pop it up a bit, not sixties style, but give it some life. It's not all that sleek and shining and, really? That make up? You should go to a salon to have it done, a really good one too, you're not very good at applying it yourself. It'll be a little pricey, but I'm sure a family like yours can afford it, the gym's doing well, isn't it?" May's mouth dropped open and she took shallow breaths, trying to stop the tears brimming her eyes. "If you're half as bad a coordinator as your appearance suggests, this contest ought to be a breeze. For me, that is." May turned away from her, back to the mirror. Her hands shook with anger and withheld tears. "Oh, you're not going to cry, are you May? I've heard Drew _hates _crybabies."

"What do you know about Drew?" She whispered, putting her stuff away in her bag. She looked back up, but the young woman in the mirror was smiling back at her, an evil smile. It reminded her of Jessie from Team Rocket.

"Oh, I know plenty. See, boys all work the same, May, it's really not that hard to reel one in once you get the hang of it." She unbottuned the bottom half of her blouse and tied the edges, then pulled the top of her shirt apart until a good amount of cleavage showed. "That should do the trick. Good luck at the contest, May. You'll need it," she grinned, stalking off. She passed Natty, coming down the hall with a cupcake in hand. "Don't you think you should be counting calories?" She sniggered, snatching the cupcake from Natty's bewildered hand and tossing it into a nearby trashcan.

"You…" Natty's eyes widened. "Uh, two reasons I shouldn't is that health food is icky and I hate math. And a good way to tell when I should start is when I can't count my ribs when I suck in my stomach. That's my foolproof plan to tell me to loose weight. I'm safe for now!" She said, smiling and walking past the girl. "Have a great day."

"Freak."

"**You're just jealous because the voice only talk to me!**" She plopped down next to May and growled like a Mightyena. "What. A. Bitch." Natty gasped, sliding in next to May. "Don't cry, little prep, you'll ruin that pretty mascara of yous." She tossed her a tissue to dab her eyes. "Those are some weak insults, May. Trust me. Don't cry you big baby." She frowned at May's choking breaths. She leaned forward and gave the girl a quick hug. "You never, _ever _let them see you cry, okay? It's alright to cry, as long as you don't let them see it." She pulled back when me gave a watery 'yes'. "And if you tell anyone I did that, I will totally kill you."

"Nothing ever happened," May agreed. "But thanks for not hugging me. You like me deep, deep down, don't you?"

"You know, **I used to have a handle on this life, but it broke,**" She sighed. "I don't like you!"

"You do, don't you?"

"Shut up and get on that stage May, besides, I think you might like what you see," she winked, spinning around and darting off into the corridor. "And I'll keep psycho-bitch away from Drew, don't worry!

"I might like what I see?" May said cluelessly. "Huh?" She leaped up to go out on stage, she was up next and she really hoped it was someone easy.

"May." Came a voice behind her. She turned and jumped. Drew was right in her face, barely a centimeter away, a blush staining both their cheeks. "I just wanted to wish you good luck. I do want to face you in the finals, you know. So you better do good," he said, his voice low.

"Well," May whispered quietly, a sense of pride welling up at her for finally beating him at something. "So I'd better do _well._ Proper grammar says that, you really should work on your English." It wasn't awkward, the silence. It was soothing, calming…romantic? Whatever it was, she didn't want to break it.

"I guess you're right," he finally said, stepping back with a nod. "See you in the finals. You ought to get on stage, don't you think?" He smiled, releasing the spell he had put on her. She leaped in the air, startled.

"Oh, frick!" She squeaked, rushing to the stage. Drew's laughter haunting her from behind.

"Oh, look, everyone, Our competitor decided to show up after all. Let's get a round of applause from the infamous May Maple!" May froze in her tracks ,not daring to look over at the judges table. She knew that voice, and it definitely wasn't the usual MC. "It's great for you to finally show up May. Did you get caught up with a love interest of yours?" came the giggle. She looked over just far enough to see who it was, and face faulted.

"Not you!" She shouted. "Natty, why the hell are you the MC? Where's the usual one? Oh, I don't even care where the usual one is! Why would they pick you of all people? Your voice is higher than mine for Ho-oh's sake!"

"I'm rich here," Natty shrugged. "I can do what I please. In this case, the regular got laryngitis and here I am. Unfortunately, Mr. Man who said I could says I can't swear and I have to keep it PG, which really puts a drizzle on my sunny day," she sighed and leaped onto a judges counter and crossed her legs. "Can you see fine? Because I don't really like standing all that much, I'm quite lazy."

"You'd rather stay in bed all day?" Scoffed April.

"At least I'm by myself!" Natty screamed. "Unlike you, you skan…dinavian baby who can't sleep without her mommy!" She corrected herself and cleared her throat. "Sorry, I caught myself. I did. Besides, April, maybe you should be a little nicer since I gave you a hint?" She smiled.

"What?" May asked.

"Didn't Natty tell you? She's decided to help me instead. She told me how one of her best female friends who wasn't that great with make up battles," April glared at her. May turned to Natty, her eyes filled with betrayal.

"Natty, I know you don't like me but…you wouldn't," She gasped.

"Yeah, she did. I have to say, I've never heard that particular rumor before. I probably would've picked up on it if I had ever watched you battle. Magical leaf and vine whip!" she released a venusaur onto the stage. It sent out a magical leaf and slapped each one from the air, causing it to fall from the sky in a beautiful display. (A/N: I know nothing of beauty. Okay? I have more freaking testosterone than Ash! Sorry, you'll just have to make up some pretty display) "You only use water pokémon? That's a pretty bad strategy, especially for contests. There's not a lot of pretty water types."

Meanwhile…

"The wrath of water types should be brought down upon the dark one's head!" Misty shouted, sitting up and gasping for air.

"Misty, what the hell?" Ash groaned. "My head hurts. Stop shouting."

"Oh, Ash. I just had the worst nightmare that some pretty really nasty mean girl was saying that water pokémon aren't cute and only using them is a bad strategy. It was just a nightmare, wasn't it Ash?"

"Of course it was Misty, don't panic. Go back to sleep," Ash said, reaching up to squeeze her hand. "It's just a nightmare."

Sorry, had to do it! Back to May and Drew…

"Water pokémon?" May blinked. "I don't…I only have one water pokémon," She giggled, her laughs came harder at the expression on April's face. "Is that the secret Natty told you? Because that's…that's not me at all!"

"But, no! You said," she turned to glare at Natty, then back to May. "No. She said that she hated you. That you were just too high and mighty for your own good. That you were so concerned about your appearance and your crush and you never shut up about him…you set me up!" She bellowed.

"Me?" Natty asked innocently. "Oh my, oh my gosh. I feel terrible. Oh, April, I was talking Misty who only used water types, she's the Cerulean gym leader. Oh, stupid, silly me. And I was complaining about my boyfriend who's high and mighty. But May?" She smiled. "Oh no, April. I wasn't talking about her at all. Maybe just maybe if I had finished that cupcake earlier I would have had the energy to fill in those blanks for you. Stupid, stupid me," Natty whacked her forehead. "Now, let the match begin."

DUE TO THE AUTHOR'S INCOMPETENCE WITH CONTESTS, THIS PART SHALL BE LEFT BLANK. HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW: MAY SENT OUT A COMBUSKEN AND WON IN A TREMENDOUS BATTLE OF GLORY. YOU ALL MUST HATE ME. I HATE MY WRITING.

"I lost?" April whispered, her eyes widening. She started to tremble and fell to her knees. "I can't have lost! I don't loose! I've done contests for five years, and I haven't lost once! How could I loose to you now?" She glared around. "It was all your fault!" She shouted at Natty.

"You are the weakest link, goodbye," she waved. "Get off the stage."

"No! I want a rematch!" She pounded her fist into the ground. Tears welled up in her eyes and she looked around, still raging. "It's not fair! You can't win! Harley said you're insecure! You had people help!"

"It's not my fault I don't drive people away," May smirked. Then it faltered. "But really, it's jut a contest, don't take it so hard."

"Oh, you aren't going to cry, are you, April?" Natty grinned. "You lost the contest, you lost your dreams, and soon you'll loose the guy. What a crappy day you must be having," she sighed. "Are we going to need to get security to get you out of here?"

"No!" She said, rushing off. "And I will get the guy. If nothing else, I'm getting Drew."

"No you don't!" May shouted, chasing after her.

"There's the girl who locked me in the closet!" The regular MC pointed in Natty's direction. "Gagged and bound me in a chair."

"I said I'd give you a muffin! And I was about to come get you!" She retorted, hands on her hips.

"GET HER!"

"Ugh, bad day," she huffed racing off in the opposite direction. It was going to be a loooooooooooong day.

"Hey, Drew!" April shouted, coming up to Drew and twisting him around.

"No!" May screamed, only a few feet behind. "Damn," she whimpered as April slammed her lips onto Drew's rather harshly. His eyes widened (mostly in pain but there was some shock involved). "Wow, that has to hurt. That's probably going to bruise. Poor thing," May froze and whimpered. "Poor Drew? Poor me! I can't believe I lost! I thought I was a fast runner!" May fell to her knees, trying not to cry.

"What the f---!" Drew leaped away holding his hand over his mouth. "That _hurt!"_

"Sorry," She smiled seductively, pressing up against him. "You want me to be gentler this time?"

"No! I don't want you to do that ever again, that's what I want!" Drew shouted, backing away. "I don't know if you're aware of this, but I'm fourteen with a respect for women that's been beaten into me by family, a friend, and some weird girl who stalks my friends and me around. I'm not really into the one night stand kind of thing, even if the rating's PG-13. I don't even _know _you."

"My name's April, and you're Drew. See now we know each other," she smiled, leaning forward again.

"Stop!" He shouted, leaping back. "Just stop already! I don't like you! I don't know you! After this, I'm not sure I want to know you and…April? You were the one who was a total bitch to May, and something about a cupcake," he waved his hand dismissively. "I got the information from the weird girl you were mean to, she obsessed about the cupcake more than you being mean to May but that's not important." Drew pulled a rose out and twirled it in between his fingers. "I only give my flowers to one special girl, one I know very well, and like very much." He walked over and brought May to her feet, handing her the rose.

"Not fair!" April screamed, starting to cry. She stomped her foot like a spoiled rotten little rich girl. "It's not fair at all! I want Drew! I want to win! Why does she get it all? She's not pretty like me!"

"Because then I couldn't say 'April showers bring May flowers!' (A/N: EVAN AAML's idea!) Take that April! Also, I'm going to come and beat you up later fro trying to steal May's boyfriend. That's not nice. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to run from a mob," Natty shouted from the roof then scrambled away.

"So, you choose me?" May blinked, looking up at him. She flushed and shook her head. "I didn't mean it like that. I meant, uh, you know, like, friend-ish?" She gave him her best smile and tried to cover up her mistakes.

"You're such a bad liar," Drew chuckled. "You really ought to take a chance."

"Why don't you take a chance then?" She retorted, crossing her arms and glaring at him.

"Fine. For the next fifteen seconds, the opportunity is open to you, May Maple, to kiss me," he smiled cheekily. "Starting…now. Fifteen, fourteen, thirteen…"_ Look at her face, she's never gong to pull it off. You should just lean down and kiss her._ He thought to himself.

"Oh boy," May said, shifting. Only seven seconds left. What if he was joking? What if he was serious? Was it wroth it? No. It wasn't worth it, right? She found her hand reaching up of it's own accord and pulling him forward by the collar to touch her lips to his, just a touch that just kept going. _Totally worth it,_ she thought to herself, pulling back. "There, I took a chance. What do you say to that, Drew?"

His fingers touched his lips, like a girl in a clichéd romance novel. Then, he said the most wonderful words she had ever heard, "I think April bruised my lips because that really hurt. I really wasn't expecting that."

"Oh, sorry. I wasn't sure if you were joking and-"

"Can we do it again?"

IMPORTANT: I'm changing my name to Bittersweet Romanticide, I don't know why I'm changing it. I just am.

We are almost at one hundred reviews people! Whew! You are awesome!

Oh, and to Julie: Yes I do want to know how to make poffins. I have pokémon Diamond because Palkia looked really stupid. Glad you support me in my only character hatred.

Contestshipper: I'm working on the chocolate one too, don't worry, it'll up soon.


	20. AMDM Moving Day

Here I am again. Sorry I'm so dreadfully late on the updates, but I have to handwrite and I'm really bad at that. I'm back in school, have been for a while, so, y'know, it's a little slow on the updates. Well, here's another crappy one. You'll hate it. But here it is. I actually wrote this a while ago, and recently found it. I'm still working on the other one.

* * *

DAML and AAML (yes, this is still a teen rating. I've got some proof in here. So don't comment on it. You've been warned.)

"Ash? What are you doing here? I thought you'd be in another league by now. You've got a way of finding them," Drew said, standing in front of the Cerulean gym with a surprised look on his face. Ash looked up from the mattress he was shoving out the door.

"Uh, my best friend happens to live here and is moving to the attic to make room for her sister's new fiancé. I'm helping. I think that me showing up at the Cerulean Gym is a pretty normal thing. Why are you here?"

"Why wouldn't he move into the same room as his wife to be?"

"Because she's afraid that if they do it again she'll have another kid inside her. And she know if he's with her they'lll…hmmm, what's a good expression to use here? Oh, I know, she'll shake him all night long," he grinned, struggling with the mattress.

"I thought a girl couldn't get pregnant once she's pregnant," Drew asked in confusion.

"She can't," Ash sighed. "But we're talking about the elder Waterflower sisters. They have Goddess looks, and know how to use them, but when it comes to smarts, well, Misty figured out how to swim to the deep end of the gene pool while they splashed around the shallows."

"Where were you?"

"Eh, Misty would say something along the lines of I wasn't even in the water," Ash rolled his eyes. Ash threw the mattress onto the ground, and took a few steps back. "3, 2 1, go!" Ash raced and leaped down onto the mattress and sighed dreamily. "Oh, it's so nice to lay down."

"Ash, are you on my mattress? I told you to stay off!" Misty called.

"No, I'm not on your heavy stupid mattress."

"You liar, get off my mattress!" Misty shouted, sticking her head out the attic window. He rolled off with a groan. "You off? Good," she smiled down at him. "You can lay down on my mattress if you want. Think of it as a thank you for all of your help."

"No, Mist, thank you," he sighed, climbing back on. She disappeared back into the gym. "I put stuff from the house on the lawn to air it out, then dragged it up two floors to the attic. Thoi is all that's left, but I'm so tired!"

"Why'd the mattress down here? And did you do this all by yourself?"

"She got a new mattress. And no, Misty helped. She's stronger than me. I admit it. I'm so freaking tired," he moaned, rolling into the middle of the mattress, the hot sun still beating down on his face. "She's still cheerful. She said she rested while I took a nap after moving a cabinet together. Why are you here again?"

"I haven't said."

"Then why don't you tell me?"

"May said she had something really cool to show me, and to come to the Cerulean Gym. I was already here for the contests, so I figured it wouldn't be too much trouble to swing by," he shrugged.

"Trouble? That reminds me. Prepare for trouble, make it double, prepare for trouble, prepare, prepare, prepare!" He shouted. He looked around and nodded. "Great, Team Rocket's not here. Hey Drew? Mind getting in the way of the sunlight? I could use some shade. You should be nicer to May. Little more to the left." Ash waved him on, trying to cover up his hidden statement.

"Nicer to May? How?"

"Uh, I think," Ash whacked his head "damn it! I know this. Oh, she said to tell you to tell her what the roses meant and not tell you it was her idea. Ah…shoot. Drew, little bit more to the left? Thanks," he nodded as Drew moved.

"Ash, you're really bad at keeping stories straight," he chuckled. Ash let his eyebrows rise and fall once in agreement. "I'm not telling her about the roses. Besides, it's not like they mean anything." He rolled his finger around his shirt collar. "Is it hot or what today?"

"May! He says no! And he says it's hot out!" (A/N: You should know what's coming by now. It's hot, May's mad, it's a water gym…) Ash gave a cruel grin. "What do you say to cooling him off? Sorry about this Drew." A pipe from the roof blasted water down onto his head and trickled down into the drain he was no standing on.

"Is this it? Come on! I've got to be more soaked than this if I want to enter that wet t-shirt contest and win!" The water turned off, showcasing Drew flat on the ground from the power of the jet.

"I hate you!" She huffed, running inside. Drew stood up, shaking.

"Oh, I'd vote for you. I swear, you're so hot I can hear you sizzling," Ash said, his face straight. "I'd laugh if my muscles didn't hurt so bad. Talking hurts, breathing hurts, laughing must hurt really bad."

"Shut up, Ash."

"I'm laughing at you…still laughing…still…okay. All done. Just wait until May has to move and you're set."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if you help someone move, they're in debt to you for life," Ash said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "That's why I'm helping Misty. I do this, and whenever she gets mad, I just say 'I helped you move' and I win."

"Really, what show did you get that from?"

"Scrubs," he beamed. He turned as Misty came trotting own the stairs.

"Ash, do you need help with that?" She chirped, extending a hand down to him. He stared at it blankly. "Ash? What's wrong?"

"I really, really want to grab your hand right now, but my muscles are throbbing," He moaned. "Just give me ten minutes and I'll be good to go. Just a quick nap, no problem, get to sleep." He closed his eyes.

"Roll off, Ketchum," she barked. He frowned and glared. Misty yanked the mattress out from under him, laughing at his yelp of pain. "How many muscles did you pull today? Poor baby, I've got painkiller." She smiled and handed him some aspirin.

"Thanks Mist," He smiled at her as she walked up the stairs, looking long after she had disappeared.

"Ash?" Drew asked, snapping his fingers. Ash blinked and glanced back, swallowing the pills. "Hello, Ash, how was your trip to Planet Crushing-On-Misty? Please, stop looking at the person that took you there and focus your attention to your right. Thank you, and have a great time on Earth." (A/N: This is a pun off of what they say at Disney as you exit rides.)

"Sorry, Drew," He flushed. "Hormones, y'know? It's not like you haven't. We had to yank your chin off of the floor when May came out in her bathing suit. Misty beat you up big time for staring at her best girl friend."

"At least she said 'but May thanks you for the compliment' afterwards. That made everything so much better," he rolled his eyes sarcastically.

"Drew, go tell May."

"What?"

"Tell her you love her or I'll kill you. No, better! I'll loose to you with Pikachu, and Team Rocket will stalk you," he pointed to the roof. "Go to her, your King commands it. Leave now to confess your undying love."

"Drew? Is Ash calling himself a King again?" Misty called out the attic window.

"Uh, yeah, and he's threatening me."

"Shoot. He's at the 'I Can Do Anything' faze. When he pushes himself to hard without adrenaline, you know, the saving the world thing, this is what happens. If he's saying he'll kill you with apple pudding or something equally weird, ignore him. If he mentions something real, just do whatever he says, because he'll do it."

"How do you know that?"

"Oh, uh, I, well," she blushed, "he zapped me with Pikachu on the mountain, yeah, that's right! And…and he slapped me! On both cheeks! That's why my cheeks were red and my lips were swollen!" She slammed the window shut.

"Her lips were…Ash, did you-"

"Go confess your love or your punishment will be in twenty seconds!"

"But Ash, be reasonable!"

"You're down to ten."

"That was not ten seconds," Drew growled, clenching and unclenching his fists. Ash gave a sly smile.

"Is now. Go confess your love or I'll totally get you followed by Team Rocket!" He sang.

"If you didn't have Pikachu…."

"But I do! Hey, Pikachu, thunderbo-!"

"I'm going!" Drew shouted, racing inside. He slammed the door and searched for a staircase. "Stupid Ash. Stupid Pikachu. Stupid thunderbolt. Stupid, stupid roses," he stomped, finding the stairs and digging his nails into the railing. "Stupid May with her stupid bikini and being in stupid shape and being so stupid freaking hot. Her stupid flat stomach and long brown hair and pretty eyes and face and…" he trailed off, wiping the love struck smile off her face. "Stupid hormones!"

"So that's why you got so mad when I snuck up behind you after you lost the last contest ad whispered 'Drew's got a girlfriend that he lost to yet again!' I thought you were just mad because you lost." Misty giggled, beckoning him into the empty room with glasses of lemonade, a pitcher, and plates full of cookies littered the floor.

"Really?"

"No," she snorted. "you're not that great at making your feelings, especially since I gossip with May and Ash. Ash told me that you like that little brown headed kid. Oh, and Ash told May you like her too. He's such a busybody."

"He loves you," Drew retorted. "And you love him. Lovebirds. Turtledoves. Raven and Beast Boy from Teen Titans!"

You are such a freak when we're alone," she laughed.

"I can't help it. You remind me of my sister. Man, that woman makes me feel stupid. 'Brain surgery's not that hard Drew, you just have to chop up a really important organ and not kill the guy.'" Misty giggled and poured him a glass of lemonade. He took a sip then slowly set it down.

"Did you make this?"

"Uh-huh."

"Stay out of the kitchen," he set the glass down. "Let Brock do that. You just keep beating up all the chauvinists pigs in the world with that stupid wooden mallet of yours. That's how you help our planet. Make food and you'll kill us all."

"Ha ha. Very funny. Don't forget, I flicker the porch lights too whenever May or one of my sister's come back from a date," she smirked at the memory, "Oooh, she was mad! Weren't you supposed to be doing something?"

"Yeah. Confess to May!"

"You better do it. He'll ask for evidence and attack you if there's none once he's not exhausted anymore. Ash had a god-complex, and normally that'd just be annoying, except he's got the power to make people bow down to it. Good thing he's not so smart. You want to get zapped? Be my guest, but I'm not standing next to you." Drew sighed and looked out the window. Misty, meanwhile, was looking the other way. "Hey, Drew, keep an eye on Ash. But, do you really like May? Do you have a crush on her? Or was Ash lying?"

"I do," he nodded. "Ash was being honest. And I am too. He _is definitely _crushing on you. I've had a crush on her for a while. It's the reason I gave her the roses. But you know that, don't you Misty?"

"Yeah, it's a little cliché, but that doesn't mean it's sweet. Don't look, eyes on Ash. He might accidentally kill himself. He does that kind of stuff a lot. What to talk about, what to talk about? Oh, tell me what you like about her."

"Everything. I mean, everything. Except her voice when she gets upset. But that's mostly because I don't like seeing her upset. I like her hair, her eyes, face, skin. She's nice though. I like that. Most of the girls who came after me are real bitches. Or they faint. I don't like either. I like how she's independent and dependant at the same time. Sometimes it's good to be able to depend on someone when something's too tough, _Misty_." He said her name to catch his meaning.

"Be romantic or I'll kill you. I swear to Ho-Oh I'll kill you," Misty gritted her teeth.

"All right. I like how she likes to dress up without being to vain. She's sweet and kind, and mostly gentle, a really good girl. Not like the other ones that chase after me. She doesn't hit people with a mallet or verbally attack them, slowly working their way into a person's brain until they know them well enough to take them out from the inside, _Misty._" He said her name pointedly again.

"Drew, finish up."

"Good coordinator."

"Now, what does May like about you?" Misty mused aloud.

"Is there anything I don't? Aside form him playing hard to get," came the quiet answer from the doorway. Drew spun away from the window to see the one person he did not want overhearing that speech. "Hey Drew, nice to see you again. Misty, you mind leaving us alone for a minute?"

"She doesn't have too," Drew blushed.

"Tata lovebirds, turtledoves, Robin and Starfire from Teen Titans," she gave her late retort, blew a kiss at the two and left.

"I swear, she's my sister with red hair," Drew huffed. Then he glanced at May, trying to reclaim his cool. He flipped his hair calmly. "So, you like everything about me? Not surprised. It's pretty hard no to."

"And you like that I'm a nice girl. A good girl." May frowned. "I'm glad that you like my personality and all, but…" She pressed his back up against the wall and went close to his ear. "I can be a bad girl, too," My purred, her breath hot on his ear, so close her could feel her warmth everywhere.

"I wouldn't mind that," he growled, leaning forward to her lips.

* * *

"Good acting, Ketchum," Misty nodded. "You really seemed tired."

"I _am. _I may have been acting, but I really did help you move. Are you on steroids or something?" He scoffed, back to back with her. (A/N: I really hope I didn't offend anyone with that. People are offended but everything nowadays.) "You were a good actress too. Nice acting. Though real life experience probably helped." Awkward silence, their most familiar friend. "Can we talk about that mountain kis-"

"No."

"Okay," he nodded. Silence. "Sorry, I was delirious. I shouldn't have eaten those funny colored mushrooms." (A/N: Don't eat wild plants kids, ya might die or end up making out with your best friend.)

"That's talking about it," Misty scolded. Silence.

Deep breaths.

Together, "It was kind of nice."

Shy glances.

* * *

There ya go, readers. What I wrote on the return flint. Sorry, I write pretty slow. I didn't like this. I was sleepy. I had to use the bathroom, but there was a stranger next to me but I couldn't ask him to move because I'm very, very shy when I'm alone in real life around strangers. Drop a review, and remember, tell me about the bad parts of my story so I can keep it from sucking. 


	21. AMDM Jailbirds

RANT: I'm sad. Why? Well, school is just getting more and more boring, yes, but also because I can't add myself to my favorite authors list. By the way, I'm only adding my real life friends to fave authors, so don't feel bad if you're not there.

THANKS: Um, I'd like to thank everyone who still read this collection, I am so proud of you! I love y'all like family!

This is a long fanfic.

* * *

AAML (I love this ship!)

You'd think that spending my night in jail would be the worst part of my night, especially because of the male grunts and groans I can hear coming from the cell next door, and I really don't think I want to know what's happening there. But it wasn't, it was the best. That's right, me, Ash Ketchum, a one night bad boy. Okay, so I wasn't exactly a bad boy enough to get thrown in jail, but I was a bit of a bad boy. Sort of. Not really. I got set up by the sadistic b with an itch who pops up out of nowhere, but that's not important right now!

I went because of the girl sleeping next to me. I'm sure you know her name, Misty Waterflower, that red headed anger management needed witch who's clean up more bumps and bruises than she gives, even though she gives an awful lot, and I would know.

All I'm waiting for now is too call May with the quarter they said they'd give us. But they lost it. I am so, so horribly ashamed of my hometown. Our basketball team is pretty bad too. I think I only feel that way because Misty told me too. You know what, I'm going to tell the story, I've got nothing better to do, except pretend there's someone in my head to tell me story too. But that's not crazy, I mean, people with first person stories do that, right? Okay, I'm crazy. Here's a story for you, Sam. Yes, invisible person, I've named you Sam. You may be a boy or a girl. I don't know.

"I've got to have broken every rule at my school. Every single one. You know why? It's addicting, the adrenaline. Not like you guys'll ever know what that feels like. Once a prick, always a prick, like Gary here," Chad sniggered. Chad is Gary's peer mentor in college. Gary's been going to school to learn how to be a professor, he's smart enough to go to college. This is all done on a scholarship. Do you know understand why Gary's a good guy? I did. I'm not a moron.

"Really, why's that? Because you're a little baby torchic!" I snickered. Misty leaned forward, balancing a tray of pokémon snacks in one hand, and whispered in my ear. She's currently wear a miniskirt and pink blouse. She wore jeans under the miniskirt though, she's on roller blades too. She took a job with Brock deliver pokémon snacks. It was pretty funny watching her learn to use them, actually. "So, what's a scholarship got to do with it?" Okay. I lied. I didn't understand. I can't even lie to my own head.

"If he's not perfect they might take it away, and then bye-bye degree, hello flipping burgers. Or more pokémon training, but probably burger flipping. She pulled back and the smell of hotel soap was replaced with the strange smell of Pikachu snacks. "Here, Brock said that these cookies are for you."

"Pikapika Pikachupi!" Pikachu shouted delightfully, snatching the bag from my hands and running into a corner.

"Don't thank me, Brock made them. I'm just the delivery girl. And don't eat them all at once. You'll get fat! Gary, mind asking your grandfather if he's got any job openings for some air headed teenage girls, who are really pretty and sometimes wear sports bras so they can walk around without shirts on? Lily could really use a job, especially since they all want to take turns running the gym since I got fame and glory. Now there's more money leaving the gym than coming."

"Why'd you get fame and glory?"

"It put Cerulean City on the map. We're actually the sixth best gym in the country, and there's a lot of gyms here. Of course, that means a lot more challenges, a lot more losses, and a lot more idiot sisters who can't battle."

"I can ask Gramps," Gary shrugged.

"Thank you. If you don't I'm telling people you wear that necklace to try and show your feminine side, again." She tossed him a bag of pokesnacks and sat down. "For Umbreon. No more than one a day because they're medicated."

"Thank you delivery girl, are you working for tips?"

"Sure," she grinned, holding out her hands.

"Don't blackmail a person who might pay you," he laughed. Misty quickly flipped him off, then turned to her feet. She yanked off the the rollerblade and threw them behind the sofa and rubbed her feet with a moan.

"Gary! You should be nice to me since Brock's made me a miniskirt wearing pokémon waitress. And my feet hurt, bad. At least I get to wear jeans under this thing so I can pick up the stuff I drop without everyone looking at my butt. Thank goodness for brotherly instincts." She laughed lightly. "Wanna rub my feet?"

"I don't like you that much," I responded.

"I know, I wouldn't want to rub yours either." She frowned down at her clothes. "Damn dresscode."

"I wouldn't mind nothing but a miniskirt," Chad smiled cheekily, looking her up and down I didn't like that. I did _not _like that. Sure, women's rights and stuff equal to men, but she belonged to me, and I belonged to her and he was not allowed to attempt to steal her from me. I clenched my fists ad teeth tight, making my jaws creak. I started to get up when a sharp tug pulled me back down to the sofa. Misty tugged the book from his hands and flipped through it, shaking her head.

"There's nothing about crossdressing being illegal. Is that a pass time of yous then, or do you just like it when girls start to scream when you bend over in one of these tiny things?" She smiled sweetly Chad flushed.

"That's not what I meant?"

"Then maybe you should be more specific," Misty glared at me. "I can handle myself around pervs, Ash. You don't need to get so mad. I'm not a princess, and you're not my knight in shining armor."

Ow, that had hurt. 'you're not my knight in shining armor'. She was right. I wasn't her knight, her hero. I was one of those lucky guys who do the work, save the world (_repeatedly)_ and never get recognition. Never get the girl. That really sucks. And, sorry to get sappy here, but what do you care, Sam? You love sappy emotional stuff. She was wrong about her not being a princess. She is. It sounds like I'm being romantic but I'm not. People have told me she's a princess, so I'm just repeating what I've heard. Some have told me I don't deserve her. I think they may be right. I don't want them to be. I used to tell myself that it was because that would mean a _girl _was better than me. Then the testosterone kicked in. It only took a few PG-13 moment to figure out Misty was more than a friend to me. Not to get of the topic, but I have a lot of PG-13 incidents, it's not my fault that the girls strip sown to bathing suits under their clothes right in freaking front of me!

"Sorry," I flushed.

"Don't be so hard on him Misty, he's just been hit by Cupid's Arrow, and he just so happened to be glancing your way."

"Shut up!" I snapped. "Work on your relationship, not mine!"

"I'll break these," Misty suddenly remarked. "Sure, the worst that could happen is I get booted off campus, but it's really the same as you. After all, I'm sure from your attitude that you're a snobby rich only child that can't get thrown out because Daddy's a big donator. Not that all rich kids or snobby," she amended. …That's a big word, yeah! I knew I wasn't an idiot. "I'll break a bunch of these or at least say I did. You know, act like a tough kid? Besides, Ash and I have done most of these in day to day life."

"Ash and I?" I asked in surprise.

She continued, "No harassment, sexual or otherwise."

"You're sticking up for no harassment?"

"Shut up, Ash. But I'll do the rest of these, within my moral range." She tossed me the booklet and grabbed a piece of sour green apple gum out of her pocket and slid it into her mouth. I glanced back at the book so she wouldn't see more blush and sweat at my thoughts, or get a nosebleed. I just really wanted to steal that gum…with my tongue. I swore to myself I would, one day, when other people weren't around and I had some more courage. "Ash, will you do it?"

"Sh-sure," I stuttered. I swallowed and tried again. "I mean, yeah, I'll do it. It's not like I have anything to loose." Uh-huh, nothing, except for my mother's respect and love. And who need s that, right?

"Okay, this should be easy enough. I'm already in a miniskirt, there goes dresscode. Maybe we should swing by some clothing store and buy you some sexy lingerie just so you can waltz in and show all the girl what you're made of."

"I find briefs too restricting, why would I even consider wearing something as tight and uncomfortable as a thong. I'll let you cover that." We sat in the care for a minute, then both set off in a fit of laughter. "Man-thong."

"Man-thong and a push up bra stuffed with tissue," she giggled back. She opened the door and walked towards the school. She shakles her butt when she walks, a lot of girls do that. How do they do that? Not that I was looking at her butt or anything. "Ash, my face is up here! Come on!"

'Right," I reddened. "Sorry, I wasn't looking. I was staring off into space and your butt was in the way."

"Sure it was, because my butt is just so big it takes up the entire universe. Very nice Ash, that makes me feel good about myself."

"That's not what I meant, Misty!"

"Ah-ah, my name's Clara. We're using aliases. I can't believe we're doing this, I feel like I'm on an adventure again. I haven't had fun in forever."

"I'm glad you're excited. You're Taylor. If it's a girl only name I'll keep turning to see who called me. All Natty ever calls me are girls names and I've started responding to them. It sucks."

"Really, Susan?"

"Yeah, I have and I'm trying to stop. Augh! I did it again!" I stomped my foot and opened the door for her. "After you."

"How gentlemanly," she smirked. I watched her walk in. Not her butt, just her. She's pretty. Not supermodel pretty but pretty. "Would you stop looking at me like that? You're giving me shivers!"

"Good shivers, or bad shivers?" I whispered. She kept walking, didn't hear me. I thought it was better she didn't.

"Okay, Ash, well, let's call you Simon. Get me mad." She stared at me. I shrugged. I am pretty good at that. I punched her in the shoulder. "Ow! You little mothertrucker! Damn, that hurt! You didn't have to hit so hard."

"Oops."

"That's all you have to say?"

"Uh, I'm sorry for doing what you told me too?" I said. She hissed at me. "Sorry, Mist, I didn't mean to hurt you." He face soften for a second, then replaced by a glared. "Oh! I'm supposed to make you mad, Sorry, forgot."

"Dumbass," She scoffed. "We're in this together, Ash. Don't chicken out on me. Don't do it to me. We're doing this to show that knocking off a few misdemeanors doesn't make you tough. We're showing that that son of a gun Chad that we're right and he's wrong. That even good kids can be bad and we can stop at anytime."

"You just want to have fun, don't you?"

"Yeah, but that's not dramatic."

"Okay then, let's have fun." I nodded at her. She slid another piece of gum into her mouth. I guess the old one lost its flavor, she must've tossed it out somewhere. Part of me dared myself to just lean forward (straight forward) and let myself find out what her favorite flavor of gum tasted like. The other part of me said she'd hate me for it. I was still slightly leaning towards the dare side when the chicken side told me I don't like sour things. It won. Dammit. "Could I have a piece of gum, Taylor?" I asked, holding out my shaking hand.

"Sure Simon," she giggled, pressing a piece into my hand and tossing out the now empty package into a conveniently placed garbage can. Have you ever had one of those moments where your body takes over? This was one of mine. I popped the wrapped piece of candy into my mouth and grinned.

"Triangle or square?"

"Huh?" She asked.

"When you were little did you like you're sandwiches in triangles or squares, it's the same concept for this. So, triangles or squares?"

"Uh, I like squares." She said uncertainly.

"Good, I'm bad at triangles," I replied. I unwrapped the paper easily enough, doing this with a Now or Later is really hard. (A/N: Now or Laters are impossible to open with fingers, let alone tongue and teeth.) Then, I folder it in my mouth, once to make a rectangle, trice to make a square. I pulled the wrapper out of my mouth with a smug smile which grew at her surprised shapes. "I'm really good at squares, though."

"You know that means you're good at," she stopped and blushed. "I can't do that, Violet's really good though. Let's go in." She slammed open the door and strode in, my puppy like self right behind her. "What class?"

"Excuse me" the professor blinked. It was a skinny nerdy man with glasses, eyes wide behind them. Kids turned in their chairs to gawk at the newcomers.

"What class did we walk into?" Misty snapped her gum, then blew a bubble. She popped it. Misty looked at one of the boys and gave a cute seductive wink. My temperature flared along with my anger. "Like what you see, cutie?"

"Is this science?" I growled. I could've sworn I saw Misty give a proud smirk. At what, making me jealous?

"No, this is English, but we have a dress code and-"

"Woah, dude, sorry. It's just science class is always taught by nerdy white guys from Texas and you totally fit the bill, man?" I'd switched from ticked of street kid to idiotic surfer dude, and Misty was an overly affectionate gangsta girl. Freaky…

"That was a highly offensive comment you made, young man. And we have a dress code here that neither of you are matching!"

"S'no big," Misty snapped the gum again. "I can take off the pants if you want." She shrugged. "Simon's kind stuck in his clothes though, I don't think boxers fix that dress code you were talking about."

"Dude, dude…dude…" I trailed off, seemingly forgetting what I wanted to say. "Oh! Should I take off my boxers then?"

"No!" Came the immediate response from the entire class.

"Aw, I wouldn't mind!" Okay, not every one of the schoolgirls were so innocent.

"'Kay then, majority rules dude." I shrugged. "So, anyway, dudes and dudettes, 'specially that pretty lady down in front, all right," I winked at her flirtatiously. Misty taught me that one. I could've sworn I heard a growl come from her at that. "We've been looking everywhere for a science class. We went to the teacher's lounge but that _totally _wasn't the science class."

"Yeah, and then this bitch started telling us to leave, which we didn't. There wasn't nothing there that said students couldn't come into the teacher's lounge. Nothing. Then Simon beat up some guy that was looking at me funny," Misty smiled at me. She stepped close and put her arm around my shoulders protectively.

"Yeah, then me and Taylor made out in the hallway cuz she was so thankful that I saved her. It was awesome, chya." (A/N: Yes, my surfer lingo and Misty's strange voice suck. I can't do it. Back off.)

"Don't make me sound like a slut Simon," She wrinkled her nose at me. I thought that was cute. "I'm a perfect lady, ma said so." She smoothed her skirt and popped a bubble that never saw the light of day.

"I don't know who you are, but you've broken every misdemeanor on this detention slip! My dears, I wouldn't be surprised if you were expelled."

"Eh, fine. We don't go her. I just wanted to break some rules. Have a good day, and sorry for the disturbance for your class. Unintentional, but unavoidable," Misty shrugged, back to her normal self.

"Ow, big words," I whimpered, holding my head. She giggled and led me back out of the class to the car.

"That was a nice five second adrenaline rush." Misty smiled at me. At. Not up, not down. Yes, NOT down. You have no idea how delighted I was when that happened. Gary keeps saying I squealed like a schoolgirl. I did not. It was a manly squeal! Oh, forget it. Buying that one? I'm not even putting it on the shelf!

"Are you hooked now? DO you want to do it again?" I inquired. She rolled her eyes.

"Yes, Ash. It's like a drug. I just can't get enough of baking rules for no good reason. Sorry, but I'm a bit more partial to adventures, and saving the world, and people…did you see their faces though? The kids? That was funny!"

"They looked like they had just seen a ghost." I slid into the car and turned the key, the engine purring.

"Ha! You gots to goes to jails now!" I winced. I knew that horribly high pitched worse grammar than mine voice. I also knew that the one who owned the voice had signed up for junior cops, which is a Pallet Town program to get kids interesting in police work. It's not working. "Hey, Kiara, where are you and Kavu heading off to with that open beer can in your car?"

"Natty, did you put an open beer in my care and then wait for me for Suicune only knows how long for me to start the car?"

"You don't have to drink it, you don't have to be drivin', if you've started the car jail walls you'll be climbing!"

"You're a worse poet than Pikachu! It barely rhymes!" I barked.

"Close enough is good enough unless it's life or death! Get out of your care and into mine or I'll taser you!" She ordered. Misty and I groaned and transferred cards.

"Ash, your police force sucks."

"I know."

"So does your basketball team."

"We're short, haven't you noticed?"

"I thought it was just you."

* * *

"You should get one phone call," Natty sighed. "Unfortunately, someone, TOMMY, has lost the quarters and nobody has any spare change. Who's great idea was it to give the video game addict a roll of quarters? Actually, I have a quarter, but it's a state quarter, and it's too cool to give away," She took it out of her pocket and grinned. "It's Canadian."

Misty said slowly, "That's not a state. That's a country."

"Nobody cares. It's a quarter and it looks cool so there. Well, you're spening the night here unless you have seventy bucks, you got that? No. So we're leaving and you can make out or something. Or play tag or something. I don't care. Have fun!" She skipped and away and hit the lights on the way out. I couldn't see a thing. "I changed the sheets for you guys!"

"Ash?" I heard. Soft footsteps, a hand on my back. "Can you see anything? Is there a light around here?"

"Mist, I can see just fine, you're gone blind." I said, holding back giggles. She stiffened behind me. "Just kidding, there's not lights here, no lamps, no candles, just beds and toilets."

"That wasn't funny, and I'm not using that toilet. I will hold it all night. I'm not sitting on that. The bed, however, I'll use." She said, loosening, relaxing, shaking a bit. She pulled me back so we could sit down, then her hand slid off my back down my arm until she found my hand. She gripped it, breathing out a sigh of relief. "I feel like I'm going to get shot in here. I've never liked getting thrown in jail, no matter how much it happens."

"Kinda funny how even though we're supposed to be good kids we've been in jail more than most people" I said most on my mind on her hand in mine. My hands were bigger even though we're the same size. So I did what we always do when we're nervous, joke. "Misty, I'm scared, will you hold me?"

Giggles, "You want me to hold you?" I felt arms wrap around me, making me flush. Our sides pressed together an I could tell she was facing me from a breeze blowing down from my neck to my chest. I shivered. "How close?" She said, giggling nervously.

"Gee, Mist, you're acting like you know I wasn't joking," I said, my voice leaping up high. I was like May's long lost sister.

"Were you?" She asked quietly. Trick question, I knew it. I'm screwed either way. Why am I screwed either way? After all, I have to win if I choose the right one. Well, that's easy, that's because I'm never right. If I say that I was joking, she'll pull away, be heartbroken, and if I try and tell her after she'll say I'm just trying to cheer her up and clear my conscience. So, I'm screwed there. If I say I like her, you know what'll happen. The whole 'sorry, just friends' speech. So I'm screwed there too. So I might as well stay silent. "Ash, you can't just not say anything, it's really important." Fudge! That sucks! My eyes had adjusted to the dark by now, she wasn't even looking at me. She was looking anywhere_ but _me. And her mouth was still moving, she still had that gum.

"Honestly? I was joking, but…" I trailed off as she looked at me hopefully. Hope, hope for a…a…

-contradictory statement, Jennifer.-

A contradictory statement and, wait! Who said that?

-You're narrating out loud, moron. I've been listening to your little story for the past five minutes. Very nice, by the way. Can't you grow some-

Anyway, hopeing for a contradictory statement. I swallowed. "But I wouldn't mind if you took it seriously. As, more than friends. Like…dating more than friends. Which we've been acting like pretty much except we don't kiss. So the only difference would be admitting we like each other and maybe later on we could kiss but not if you don't want to and you probably don't even like me and-"

"Ash, do you want a piece of gum." She stopped my never-ending babbling.

"I thought you were out. You threw the package away. I saw you." I said, getting a little nervous as to where this was going.

"I do have one piece left. It's just not in the wrapper." And the words me feel confident, not what she said, but how she said them. Her voice cracked. She was just as nervous as I was. You always hear how one person feels about romance, their view, and when you confess you feel so…alone. But I wasn't alone, that's why we did this. So we'd never be alone again. I wasn't the only one trying to figure out what to do, she was clueless too. And that made it all feel safe.

"Do you really want to do this, this fast?"

"Six years of friendship and three of fake dating isn't all that fast," She pulled back and held my hand. "Why, do you think it's too fast?"

"No, I just…you shouldn't feel pressured to do anything."

"You think you're pressuring me?"

"I dunno. Maybe. It's not like I've done this before." (A/N: Heheh, who's getting annoyed? Will they kiss, will they? For goodness sakes, when? I feel wicked.) I sighed. "Do you want to just do it fast? You know, like when you, uh…"

"First get into cold water to get something you dropped in the pool. Just jump in and get it over with, then run back out?" She suggested. I nodded. "Okay then. Well, you do it then!" She snapped.

"Why me?"

"Because you're the guy! It's some unwritten law about relationships. The guy is supposed to kiss the girl first, that's how it's supposed to happen!"

"That's not true!"

"well, I'm not Sadie Hawkins, Ash!" I blinked and grunted with confusion. She sighed and rolled her eyes. "A Sadie Hawkins dance is girls ask guys, not the other way around like most dances.

"So I should just lean forward and kiss you." I stated. She nodded. "On the lips." She nodded again. "How do you know I can see you?" She swung at my head, I ducked out of habit. "I was just trying to hear your beautiful voice and you try and hit me. What kind of romantic are you?" She grabbed my shirt collar and pulled me close, an inch away form her face, frowning, glaring, her nose wrinkled. So I thought this was the perfect opportunity. I just tapped my lips to hers, easy, simple action, one _hell _of a rush. Misty's hand dropped from my shirt and I pulled back. Her eyes wide, mouth slightly open.

"You…" she gaped. "You actually did it." I grinned and nodded proudly. "But you…Ash, you never do anything like that!" I cocked an eyebrow at her. "I don't either, yeah, and sure I told you to but since when have you ever done anything I tell you to."

"Since I wanted to do the stuff the stuff you told me to do," I shrugged. I grabbed her shirt and slowly pulled her close. "Okay, now it's your turn. And make it a good one. Make it a real kiss, it's only fair since I started us off."

"I'm not so sure about this. I'm fine if you do it though." She shifted backwards but I pulled her close again. "C'mon, Ash, what if I'm a bad kisser or something? You do it."

"Like I'll be better," I scoffed.

"Probably. You're unbelievably lucky," I sighed. Then I stared. She'd crack. She had no patience, less than me, lots less than me. Just because we've both got the same violent temper doesn't mean a thing. You can have the strongest anger in the world but as long as you're patient it doesn't mean a thing. I've got the scars to prove she's not. "Let me go! I want you to do it!" she shined. Now, if she had said 'I don't want to do this at all, I don't even want you kissing me' heck yeah, I'd let her go. But she's just being insecure and I want her to get over her insecurities.

All right, you've got me, I'm lying. I just want to win for once.

"Please? I thought you liked me." Great, now she was trying to guilt me out of it. I smirked. Not gonna work this time. "Ash," she growled, "Let go! This is manhandling! Sexual harassment!" She huffed. Misty gulped and nodded. "Fine, Ash. You better not laugh at me."

"Great, now I'm practically guaranteed to laugh. Nice job, Misty." I was getting bored of waiting. So, why not just cut the time in half? "Besides, I've already guessed that a scrawny runt like you wouldn't be a good kisser anyway. You won't disappoint me." She frowned and barely gave me a second to smile a smug smile before kissing me hard.

I won't go into detail here-

-Aw, come on, I want to hear all the kinky details!-

I'm talking out loud again?

-Yes, and I'm shocked to learn that Ash Ketchum is a very naughty boy.-

Ugh, gross. You're like an annoying sister or something, that's just plain sick. Anyway, I'm continuing with my face in a pillow. I did get that piece of gum, and a bruise of two, but so does Misty. She fell asleep afterward, but I'm still waiting for a fucking quarter!

"Uh, Caroline, I've got one. I've been trying to tell you for a while now but you just kept going on and on. Do you talk to yourself a lot?" Natty asks. I shrug.

"I guess when I'm bored with no one to talk to. I'm just never bored." She holds out her cell phone with a sigh.

"Talk fast, it's dying. I got a quarter but the phone's broken. Have someone pick you up," she shrugs. I nod and dial. Three rings.

"Huh0hello?" A shaky breathless voice came. "This is the Maple residence, summer vacation home, May speaking. My parents are out at the moment and Max is -quit it, I'm talking! Mac is at a competition. I'm fine to take a message."

"May, have you been running or something? You sound like you've been doing some heavy exercise."

"Heavy exercise? I haven't, oh, uh, yeah. You could say that, I guess. What? Ash…it's Ash! Ketchum! NO I'm not hanging up, it could be important…I don't really want a good friend to die and it comes up pretty often with him. Hey, that tickles, cut it out!"

"I'm in jail, wanna pick me up?" I interrupt. I hear a gasp and a fast OMG filled sentence that was an awfully long run-on. "Hey, how are you getting home?" I ask Natty.

"Me? I'm sure I'll find a way. If not I'll just bunk here, with Tommy," she frowned. "Who broke the phone trying to make a PSP out of it."

"May, I have to go. Pallet Town jail, make room for three. Bring Seventy dollars, I'll pay you later." I hung up.

"You know, Ash. There's a saying that goes pretty well with your situation here. I've seen it on a bunch of profiles and quote websites which I visit avidly, because, y'know, I get bored. A good friend will be there to bail you out of jail, great friends will be sitting next to you saying 'Damn, that was fun'."

"Good quote," I agree. I glanced back at Misty. _Damn, _I think,

* * *

Haha! Impossibly long! Beware, that took forever! Ugh. You'd better love it. I don't. Don't like the next one (which I have written, and one after that) either. I enjoy Mary Sue parodies. Natty is on NO accounts a Mary Sue. She's my inner be-atch.

Have a fabulous day, and ideas are great. If you think of one after revieweing (or not) send me a message saying so! I need ideas other than throwing the cast into a Stephen King novel. Misty would not be happy to be like Carrie.

Misty (reading internet summaries): Entei, don't make me be her!

Me: We'll see…


	22. AM Mountain Kiss

Okay…for those people who were friends with Pokemonisthebest and loved seeing their reviews on here…that may not happen anymore. Or it may all be flames. See, I kinda got into a fit because of hormones and he was preaching about what I should write and telling me no more AAML and it was a BAD day and…I snapped at him. Just a bit. Maybe he's not mad, I don't know. I guess I'll see.

Confuto Romanorum Imperator came up with this one, thank you, thank you thank you I'm sorry I couldn't do justice to your idea!

In my other fanfic I made a reference to a 'mountain kiss' and this person said I ought to expand on it. And jus to be wicked (to a few more of my reviewers as well) I absolutely ADORE yaoi fics. Some dudes like girl on girl, some girls like guy on guy. That's right. Please don't stop reading because of my opinions! Enjoy.

Here's a major swearing fic. AAML So many censors…

"Another mountain range. Why is it always a f--king mountain?" Misty huffed. Brock tsked at her condescendingly. "What, do you want to climb another mountain range? This one is a hell of a lot bigger than the last one."

"Don't say f--k, Misty. In fact, don't swear at all. You're fifteen and you shouldn't be saying that. You're a young lady."

"Young lady my a-s. Fred and Kevin don't give a damn if I swear, in fact they encourage it. My sisters don't give a flying f--k either."

"I like swearing more than hitting," Ahs commented. "But it wouldn't hurt to cut down a bit. Just think of Brock as an adult, you don't swear in front of my mom, right? So don't swear in front of Brock. He's a goody-two-shoes."

"I know. But that's how the guys I hang out with talk, it's hard not to pick up on it. And before you say anything, they're great guys, they've just got…swearing problems," She sighed, then giggled. "Team Rocket's face was priceless when I told them to fu-"

"Eff off," Brock stopped her, still frowning. "Your sisters really should take more responsibility for you."

"Sorry Brock. It's subconscious. Like when my sisters say 'like' for every other word," She sighed.

"Well, make it conscious!" He snapped. Misty rolled her eyes. They were just words, you'd figure it's be preferred over the mallet. "Sorry I snapped, Misty. I'm just worried you're hanging out with the wrong crowd."

"You're worried?" She stiffened and stopped walking. "Why me? Ash started hanging out with Gary for Zaptos' sake, what about him? Why aren't you worried about him, he's the youngest! I'm not a baby! I know how to take care of myself."

"I never said you couldn't," Brock tried to recover. Ash sat down and pulled out popcorn while Pikachu mercilessly felt up the ketchup bottle, loving the thing a little too much. "We're just worried because you're hanging out with two guys who don't sound like they're very nice for a young…for a good girl to be hanging out with."

"We? Don't drag me into this! I think Misty can defend herself just fine and is great with choosing friends. I just find the over swearing annoying. You sound like Gary, and one camerupt tipping thing does not mean we're best friends and…ew, Pikachu, there's ketchup in my popcorn. Nasty." He threw the popcorn into his mouth anyway. Pikachu frantically tried to get popcorn out of his heavenly ketchup bottle.

'_No, Heinz, don't leave me! You can pull through! Never let go Heinz, never let go. Oh, Heinz, I will always love you! Always!'_

"You're a twisted little freak. No more romance novels little buddy, I don't care how much you like it, you need to cut back."

'_That's what she said.'_

"Ew!"

"So what? Is it because I'm a girl? Maybe because I'm afraid of bugs? Who cares? I'm suck of being babied! It's like the older I get, the younger you treat me! That's insane! You can't just do that to me, Brock! You're only eight years older than me!"

"It's just because I care about you, Misty. I'm just trying to protect you. You're like my little sister, that's all. I just want to make sure you grow up right."

"Dammit Brock! Just because I say 'f--k' that's right, 'f--k', doesn't mean I'm actually f--king anyone, does it? I'm a perfectly cheerful delightful girl!"

"Delightful?"

"It means pleasant, you know what pleasant means, don't you?"

"I know what delightful means, I'm just trying to figure out to apply it to you. It's not working. It's not from the swearing, but you've never been pleasant, delightful, cheerful, nonviolent, or anything into that category."

"That's it, I'm out of here!" She stormed off in a different direction. "I'll see you guys at the Proffessor's lab."

"Aw, Mist. I was just fooling! You're plenty delightful, really! Mist! Misty! Oh, real nice, real nice hand gesture there. _Nice._ That's the harder trail, Waterflower! You want to climb that high? It's straight freaking up! Right up Kasumi! Misty! Stop flipping me off!" He groaned and put his head in his hands.

"She'll be back. Give her a minute, she'll be back," Brock assured him confidently. Sitting down next to him.

"I don't think she is. She's stubborn Brock, she's much more reckless now that she doesn't have Togepi to take with her. She's PMSing too." He started to get up. "That's it, I'm going after her before she kills herself."

"Ash, do you really think Misty will go that far up the trail before deciding it will be easier to just come back and apologize? How do you know she's PMSing?"

"Uh, I chart it out. Why do you think I'm nice to her one week every month? She almost killed me one time. I accidentally mentioned her weight," he shivered. "Anyway, are we talking about the same Misty? She has never once said she was wrong or apologized for anything she has ever done. The Misty I know would jump off a cliff before saying she was wrong. The Misty I know almost drowned a few years ago because somebody told her she could swim across a raging river and she wanted to prove she couldn't."

"That was your fault."

"I got her out using a vine whip!" he snapped. "I need to go get her. She's not coming back. Brock, I know her."

"I don't?"

"Not like I do," Ash muttered. "Nobody knows her like I do. I'll give her ten minutes. That's it, ten minutes and if she's not back by then I'm going after her. I know she's not coming back, and it's not safe out here by herself." His scowl deepened as snowflakes began to trickle down from the sky. "No one is safe out here by themselves. Mountains are always tricky. They like to kill people."

"You say that like they're alive."

"Everything's alive, Brock," he said. His voice dropped low, inaudible. "Misty told me that, when she taught me about respecting water. Everything's alive, and nature doesn't hand out do-overs."

'_There's a snow storm coming,' _Pikachu whispered. '_Give Misty ten minutes to come back, but after that…you'd better run fast.'_

"She's not back," Ash leaped to his feet, the alarm on his pokegear going off. "it's been ten minutes. What did I tell you? There's a storm coming! See what you've done! Shoot, I'm sorry. It's not your fault Brock. I'm just worried. You set up camp, I'll be back."

"Thanks, Terminator. Go save your woman. Hey, that's not a becoming gesture for a young man either, Ash!"

"Eff off!" he shouted, his feet pounding down the trail. He felt a light weight hop onto his shoulder. "Pikachu? Hey, buddy, guess you're coming too. Any ideas as to where she is?" His yellow companion shook his head. "Dang it!"

'_Now would be a good time to swear.'_

"I've got nothing to say," he replied. He slowed and looked around, the snow starting to blind him. "Can you see?"

'_A bit. Probably more than you. I don't see her anywhere, Ash. The wind's piking up. I'm sure she found a cave. She's not stupid.'_

"I know. I'm just…worried about her," he blushed.

'_Aw, Ashy-kins want to protect his life mate!' _Pikachu laughed as Ash started running again. Where could she be? She was stalking off so slow! Did she pick up her pace or something when the snow started? No, Misty always stopped to think about what she did after an argument, it always took at least five minutes!

"She's not my life mate, I mean wife! I don't like her, alright? Can't I be worried about a friend? I worry about Brock and I'm not in love with him. I worry about you and I'm not separating you from Sparky or that Ketchup bottle."

'_No, but since you blush because you worry about her _that _means you like her.'_

"Misty! Misty? Where are ya?" The snow was already covering the top of his shoes, it was so cold out, too cold. His fingers were feeling hot, burning. He crossed his arms, hoping for some kind of warmth, anything. Breathing into his fists didn't work, and though he tried, his entire hand wouldn't fit in his mouth. He took a deep breath, the icy air scratching his throat and lungs, and called again. "Misty! Misty! It's cold out!" He said, his voice weaker. How long had he been walking now? It seemed so long, his thoughts were fuzzy. The temperature was dropping fast, he could tell. He dropped to his knees. "Misty?" He asked weakly, gulping. "This is a really pathetic way to go!" Silence. He didn't know how long, but it was hurting now, hurting and burning, and his eyes were so heavy, thoughts were so hazy. He feel to his back in the snow, watching the snowflakes fall onto him. "I'm going to take a nap, Pikachu. Keep calling for Misty."

'_Ash, Ash! Don't be stupid! You can't-!' _Pikachu's words didn't make sense anymore. Just the creature's name, over and over. He didn't understand why he ever listened to the rambling of a rat anyway. He closed his eyes, ignoring the electric current that zapped through him. Damn, he could barely feel it anyway. Could barely feel anything except the cold liquid seeming into his clothes, through his skin and into his body, his blood, his bones. His heart was slower, still rhythmic, but he could hear it. Just a heartbeat, and a word he thought he knew, a word shouted with relief and joy, "Pikachupi!" (A/N: Hope that wasn't crap, I was sweating so bad when I wrote that.)

"Where am I?" Ash coughed, sitting up. Misty sat in the corner, the firelight showing the cave they sat in. She had Pikachu in her lap, petting him softly. He leaped from her arms and bounded over to Ash, snuggling close with a fond cry.

"You, are in a cave," pausing dramatically after you. "You're also not in heaven or wherever heroes go when they die. You're also running short on choclate." She reached beside he to show him a handful of empty wrappers. "I already ate all of mine on my walk up," she blushed. Little did Ketchum know at the time it wasn't from bad eating habits, but the simple act of him sitting up, and stretching his tight limbs.

"Did you bring me here?"

"Nope, it was Tinkerbell. I shot Wendy for her so she decided to return the favor and save a friend of mine. Of course I brought you here, you dunce! Thank Pikachu, the only reason I found you was because of the sparks he was sending off." Her blush was not going away, she could feel it. '_Damn, Misty! It's not that bad! Calm down, you've seen this plenty of times before. But, then again, it has been quite a while…' _"Hey, Ash, could you-"

"Thanks Pikachu. Thanks Misty. I was coming to save you, ironic, how you saved me. You taught me that word, Misty!" He beamed proudly, scratching behind the electric rodent's ears absently.

"Ash, could you please…" She blushed, trying not to look at the boy in front of her. Her eyes swept around the cave only to land back where they started from. Articuno! How many times had she yelled at boys for staring down at her sister's breasts, when here she was now, molesting Ash with her eyes.

"What?"

"I always knew you're legs were strong, but you're getting a six-pack. How'd that happen?" She blurted. Ash gawked at her for a minute, wondering how she could possibly know that, before looking down. His face turned cherry lollipop red as he fumbled for a sleeping bag to cover himself with. "Your clothes were soaked, Ash, you were lying down in the snow when I found you. At least you got to keep your boxers!" She cried. "At least they were boxers this time!"

"Why do people keep pulling down my pants?" He complained. "I understand why you took them off, it's life and death and you had to but…you've seen me in my underwear, like ten times! I've never seen you in your underwear once and, I didn't mean it like that! Nothing's going right today, ugh! And it's not like I want to see you in your underwear! Wait, I do because you're pretty, wait! Ugh! I've been doing so well too, figuring out every answer, how do I get myself out of this one?"

"Stop talking about underwear," Misty said, holding her stomach that ached from her uncontrollable laughter. "You can't get yourself out of that mess. Just…go put on pants, Ash, unless you want to strip all the way and we can hold each other for heat," she teased, turning ruby. As grinned, getting into the spirit of it, and made it look like he was about to pull of his boxers. "I don't want you to really take them off! That's not even funny!" she said, laughing anyway. He dug through his backpack and pulled out his pants and a shirt.

"If it's not funny, why are you laughing?" He challenged. "Hey! Cards! I didn't know I had these! Wanna play?"

"What?" She asked.

"Strip Poke," Ash rolled his eyes at his boxer clad body. "Golly gee, that'll be fun for a round, don't you think?"

"For _you_ maybe. What about poor me, you flasher?"

"Hey, I'm cold and already in nothing but boxers, don't tempt me," He chuckled. "How about Skinny Dipping Go Fish? Joking! Joking! Let's just play Go Fish." Ash finished pulling on dry clothes and sat down next to her.

"How do you play?" She asked.

"What do you mean, how do you play? It's Go Fish! You've obviously never had a pack of cards if you haven't played Go Fish! Most packs even have rules on how to play that in them!"

"While my sisters played cards with mom Dad was trying to keep me from playing outside in the rain. It wasn't until we were all older that I started playing cards with my sisters, and they weren't really into little kids games. That's how I know Poker and Gin and Texas Hold 'Em (A/N: yeah…bet without a Texas it's awfully hard for them to play a game like that…) We made up a game once. It's not fun though, you wouldn't want to play."

"I want to play!"

"I don't want to play," Misty frowned. Ash begged with big growlithe eyes. "It's called War of Truth," she sighed as Ash brightened. "You play just like war, except whoever had the lower card has to tell a secret, something the other doesn't know."

"Ew."

"I know."

"No, we're playing. Ew for you because you're playing the kid who couldn't loose if he tried." He dealt the cards with a smile. "Flip." The two cards flipped. King and four, in favor of Misty. "Oh. Well," he crossed his legs and thought. "I'm a virgin."

"No s—t," she rolled her eyes.

"All of me is virgin."

"How about your eyes?"

"…my lips are virgin of another lips touch."

"Nice. So that's what guys' night is all about. I knew Brock couldn't be taking you to healthy movies, the perv. Such a hypocrite. Okay, one, two, three, flip." Queen and Jack, Ash won this time. "S—t. Uh, my lips are virgin too."

"Really?" Ash raised his eyebrows, Misty blushed. "One, two, three flip." Two sevens, lucky number depending how you look at it. "Go again?"

"Whoever looses this has to share three secret," Misty said, laying down her cards. (A/N: If you don't know how to play War, look it up or something, I can't explain rules for (censored)) She knew her three secrets. Hell, she knew them before she'd started this stupid game. Half of her was rooting for the win, half hoped she lost. "Flip." She whispered. Two aces. "Are you kidding me? Suicune, Ho-oh and Mew!" She cursed.

"Don't take the names of the legendaries in vain," Ash teased.

"F—k off!" She snapped, punching him playfully. "So, anyway. This game was originally created by drunk people (A/N: Nuh-uh, I'm sober! Have to be, it's the law, y'know) and they pretty much said at the second war, drink the Mew-da--ed bottle. When we played, we each just said three truths, then go again. One last flip to see who goes first."

"Okay," he shifted uneasily. The only reason he'd agreed to play was because he thought he's win. Whatever happened to 'you can't loose them all?' "One, two, three, flip." Queen and an Ace, Ash's favor. "You first." He sighed in relief.

"Okay, I'd rather be kissed by now than not. Two, it's be great if it happened around now. Three," she took a deep breath, "I wouldn't mind if it was you." Ash stared blankly. "I'm not saying I like you, I'm saying I don't hate you enough to let you kiss me." She covered up hurriedly. "Ash? You okay?"

_Ash? _Pikachu nudged him. _"What's wrong with you?"_

"Could you say that again?"

"I don't like you, I'm saying-"

"No! Not that," he cut her off. "I mean the other thing you said. Did you mean it Misty?" He asked hopefully.

"I, I don't like you. I just don't hate you," she repeated. "Raiku, this is really awkward. 'Specially since you're not so gullible anymore."

"_Will you just kiss her already dumbass! Really, don't be shy now of all times! She's practically invited you to kiss her! You will never, ever, EVER have a better chance with any woman in your lifetime than you do right now!" _Pikachu hissed in his ear.

"What do I do?" He whispered to low for Misty to hear.

"_You kiss her!"_

"How?"

"_Are you f—king kidding me? I'm not telling you to make out, just tap your freaing lips together! It's not that hard! I've seen TWO year olds figure this out!" _Pikachu ranted, whacking Ash with his tail. _"If you screw this up the next tail that hits you _will _be made of iron, do you understand me?"_

"Ditto," Ash suddenly said.

"_Oh, Mew, Ho-Oh, and whatever else lies above, you are _such _a dumbass."_

"What?" Misty cocked her head.

"My three secrets. Ditto, same thing, they're the same as yours," he tried to elaborate. "So, we could both get what we want, I guess. But we don't like each other. We just don't hate each other. See? Reasonable." Ash said, dimly aware that a little voice in his head was telling him he was rambling and he should shut up and kiss her. This little figure had a 'My Name is Common Sense' shirt on, but Ash didn't listen to him often. That 'Common Sense' thing was really stupid. Misty quieted all those thoughts as her finger pressed against his lips.

She laughed, "shut up and kiss me, Ketchum." So he did, just a tap, then they came back for another, and another, until Pikachu shrieked and tried to escape into its pokéball to keep from seeing the disgusting sight of two people he knew and loved making out. Needless to say, their lips were swollen and cheek red when Brock found them.

"Never speak on this again " Misty whispered as the morning came, pulling her hair up and fixing her shirt.

"Agreed."

Icky. Well, I tried. It started out so nice! And it was all down hill (no pun intended) from there. Anyway, the moral of the story is don't crack open you cell phone battery, because it really, really _will _explode, as taught by my Bio teacher. If you read author's notes, put the word "Mewtwo" in your review. Just a survey.

HAVE A GREAT DAY!


	23. AMDM Short Stories

Okay, now these are shorts. I have a long one, but I thought 'Hey, that ones a AAML, I should be kind and sweet and give my **CONTESTSHIPPERS **(think they saw that?) some stuff too. Oh, buy the way, very creative awesome names. –nods confidently- oh, you'll love the names!

* * *

DAML (Three) AAML (two) Minimal swearing, two or three tops.

* * *

SAVING THE WORLD CAN WAIT FIVE MINUTES (AAML)

"Ash!" The boy felt the crisp air float out of his chest, thanks to the excited, furious, red head who had rammed him against a wall. "Hey, Ash. I bet you're wondering why I'm here, huh? Well, the biggest reason is that my sisters threw me out of my house and told me don't come back until you've, like fixed your love life. Then Daisy shouted 'I bet you don't have much time!' and that's _really _why I'm here."

"Uh, that's great and all, but in case you haven't noticed, I'm kind of busy here," he tried to thrust away, but she slammed him back on the wall and stomped on his foot, snarling. Ash gulped.

"I _know _you're busy but the world can wait five minutes for me to finish talking," she snapped.

**Actually, it is important the Chosen One-**

"Oh. Oh. Oh no, you did _not_ just interrupt me! Don't _screw _with me, I don't care if you are Dialga or Palkia or Mew or Pikachu or whatever you are but I'm using this pathetic excuse for a trainer right now so mind backing off for a freaking moment!" She shouted, watching the legendary look on with a shocked face. "Thank you. Now, Ash the saving the world thing is another big reason I'm here. See, most of the time you live, right? Rhetorical question, keep your mouth shut. I'm talking. You could die this time though. It's pretty probably, actually. So if you did die and I didn't tell you I'd regret it forever, more importantly, I couldn't get into my house."

"I'm glad to know I'm so important to ya, Mist, but I don't think I can help you with your love life."

"That's where you're wrong Ashy-boy, I—hey, is that a camera?"

"The news has recently begun stalking me," he shrugged. "Ooh! Big words for me! I get a nickle, you promised!"

"Don't talk, it reveal your IQ. The universe freaking hates me. Anyway, you really can help me Ash, in fact, you are not only the best guy for the job, but the only guy for the job."

"Should I be feeling nervous right now? Cuz I'm getting some butterfree in my stomach. Could I _please_ talk to you about this later?"

"Talk later, funny," She chuckled, then started yelling again. "No Ash, we can't! And you should be terrified because I keep getting interrupted and it's pi—ing me off! All I need for you to do is to stop moving for a few seconds and we can talk all about this later."

"Uh, okay." Ash stood completely still. He eyes opened wide as her lips tapped his, lingering for a second before pulling back. He shivered at the strange tingling racing through his body and he could feel a blush rising to his face.

"There! You see that? Let me in my house, dammit! And for all of you out there watching, guess what? I don't even care that that was undoubtedly the crappiest confession of all time because he probably didn't get it anyway!"

"What was that? Does this me I'm going to die? I don't want to die!" He panicked.

"See? Told ya," She smirked. She released the boy from the wall after tearing her gaze away from the camera. Ash continued to panic in the background. "Oh, calm down Ash, you're not going to die. We'll talk about this later," she smirked. "Don't you have a world to save?"

* * *

STAY TOGETHER FOR THE KIDS (DAML)

Fluttering wings, gentle taps, delighted squeals of mirth drift through the beach, over the dunes to the two agitated teens, one with green hair, one with brown, both frowning. May frowned and glanced back at Drew.

"Awfully close, aren't they?" She sighed. A twinge of a smile appeared on her face as another side of her personality took over. "It's so romantic," she swooned.

"Ugh," he grunted. "Right, romantic. I wish they'd get over it. After every contest they do this, this mating dance or whatever you want to call it. I don't want a stupid egg! Especially not a beautifly egg!"

"If it's female it'll be a beautifly and I'll get it. If it's a guy it'll be a masquarain and you get it. Duh." May rolled her eyes, muttered under her breath.

"I guess we'll just have to completely avoid each other from now on," Drew sighed.

"Just because you don't want an egg!" May gasped. "I'm not going out of my way to avoid a contest just because you don't want an egg!"

"Do you have time to care for it? And hatch it? And train it? And raise it? No, you don't, and I don't either. If they happen to make an egg it's going to have a horrible, horrible life because nobody wants to care for it."

"Can't we just tell them not to?" May asked.

"What if they get tempted to and do it anyway?"

_We would, _Beautifly giggled, landing softly beside them, Masquarain close by. _We could bring up a baby together._

"I am not traveling with that!" They pointed at each other, shying away. Their pokémon sighed and shook their head. Getting them together was going to be harder than they thought.

_Oh, come on. It's not that bad. _Masquarain encouraged, nudging Drew into May. Unlike an earlier fic, this did not force them to kiss, though they were awkwardly close. May knew she was blushing, she could feel it. She wasn't surprised. She didn't ask why, but she did see something that gave her an edge a confidence that made her blush fade into a smirk.

"Hey, Drew," she whispered, making him shiver, "your face is a little red." Her smirk grew as the blush deepened. Drew stepped back and turned to the beach once more to collect his cool. "It wouldn't be…horrible, traveling with you if there was an egg, not just because."

"I might survive," Drew sniffed. "If you don't act like an idiot, like you usually do."

"Hey!"

The two pokémon glanced at one another as the argument started, the romantic moment already forgotten. _Should we tell them?_

_Not. Don't ruin the peace. Tell them tomorrow. I'm sure they'll be delighted to have a new traveling partner. _She glanced at the two and cringed.

* * *

SUBMERSION (AAML) (this does not mean author's notes for this short. Unless it says A/N:)

"Ha! Whaddya mean 'be careful?' I'll be fine!" Ash leaped onto the wooden log, above those white, churning waters.

Oh, they were beautiful, deadly waters. All it takes is a crack to wipe that confident grin off his face (love that grin), panic (like mine) stricken. Just a child (I'm still a child). He has no respect. (teach him) Respect for living things, yes, (the water) but the ocean is just another feature to him. Inanimate (always moving). He doesn't understand (never understands) Water, the mother (our mother) that should frighten us all (discipline), frightens pokémon (and me) frightens my sisters. The water is alive (more alive than us) and she gives life (all of us come from her) but unlike other gods (she owns them) she won't hesitate to take away. (Never hesistates)

"Ash!" I shout, my heart pumping against the iron grip it's trapped in. He looks up, hugging the log. He thinks it will save him. (Never saves him) It's already rotting, the water will rip in apart in minutes (one minute), away from him in seconds.

"Misty, Pikachu," he says, his voice squeaking. The log cracks, he plunges down. The ocean is just a bit away (blocks away), a minute away (feels longer) to get there, but it's rocky (smash us) and it's moving. (we will die)

It takes a split second for me to make my irrational choice (stupid choice). A second for my action result (knock on death's door). Four seconds to grasp a half conscious body (don'tdieohdon'tdiepleasedon'tdieohdon'tohashdon'tdieashohdon'tdie) his heart throbbing against mine. Five seconds to say the words that make or break out survival, our lives (no life to come). Maybe giving him a full respect for water (never) in the future (no future).

"Close your eyes, hold your breath, and hold on tight," I gasped. Submersion. Fear beats bravery, bravery beats love, love beat fear. When I was told love would take my breath away (last breath) by the one you love (ocean stole it, he should have it) I didn't think they meant this.

(a/n: I had to do that. I had to. That was FUN to write. Too much Stephen King inspired this.)

* * *

THE RETURN OF THE ALMIGHTY EVIL ONE (DAML (Special mention in next chapter for whoever guesses it before marked line!))

Misty screamed. She screamed really, really loud. I didn't know she had it in her. Ash had popped out of nowhere, caterpie in his arms, and shoved it in her face shouting 'let's be friends' in a squeaky high pitched voice. She ducked behind me, not that it stopped him from chasing her. And then that mallet came out…

"One of these days you're going to touch one of these. You almost touched Caterpie way back when."

"I will never, ever, ever touch one of those digusting, dirty, vile, aaaaahhhhhh!" The caterpie leaped up on her leg. Ugh, she screamed LOUD. She leaped into a nearby tree and clung to it for dear life, whimpering.

"Funny how they all seem to love you," Ash sniggered.

"Why do they keep _touching _me?" She wailed. Then it stopped and horror swept over her face. "Ash, it's the pink thing!" She toppled out of the tree. "It's coming!"

"What's coming?" Drew and I asked.

"The Almighty Evil One! Run! It'll get us again!" The two raced off into the distance, though I could've sworn I heard laughing. I assumed it was hysteria. (Marked line. Guess now, if you get it right, tell me. No cheating, you naughty people.)

"Duh-Drew!" I stuttered. "What could scare them away? They race towards danger, what could possibly be that scary?"

"Oh, lots of things. I'm just trying to figure out what's that scary and pink. Wanna say girl on her period wearing pink, but that's way off. It could be a…are you kidding me?" Drew scoffed at the creature in front of him.

"Oh! Cute!" I squealed. "Look, it's got a microphone and everything! Wait…is that a marker? Weird."

"I've heard jigglypuff uses sing to knock out opponents. Got some ear plugs for combusken?" Drew said, shrugging off a weary feeling.

"Oh, cutecutecutecute! You sing? You want to sing us a song? Aw, sing us a song!" It gave a delighted smile. "What's so bad about it? It likes to sing, perform, it has an awesome defense against poemon and a sleeping pokémon is so easy to catch! And it's adorable!" (A/N: I finally learned how to spell adorable…heh heh, I've conquered thy good name, spell check.)

"Those two are such losers." Drew flicked his hair. "Being afraid of something like this. What's the worst it could do? Sing us a lullaby? …oh crud." He laughed faded away as the little (demon) pokémon began to sing.

Then…then the world got fuzzy and I was just so tiredand one quick nap wouldn't hurt. Couldn't hurt. The last thing I remember was resting against a warm, soft and earth scented pillow and a warm…something draping across my hip and pulling me close. If I could've had any rational thought I probably would've rolled away. Probably. But then again…I was really comfortable.

(Third POV)

"Aw! Look at them! How cute!" Misty giggled. "Jigglypuff knows what's going on too! Ash, don't take pictures!" Her tone scolded but her eyes dances.

"Shut up. I need some counterattack blackmail. They've got way too much on me. I talk in my sleep and-"

"I know, Ash, I traveled with you. Which reminds me, what's with you and oranges? You eat them all the time and for some reason they're always attacking you in your sleep."

"I don't want to talk about it," he muttered. "let's go get these developed.'

Scene: drew and May, curled tight together, front to back, Drew's arm wrapped around her waist, his head on hers, both with hearts drawn around their faces with "I love you' written under it.

They were awfully, ah, cheesed off when those pictures were waved in their faces.

It is still a mystery about Ash and those oranges…

* * *

BETWEEN THE PAGES (DAML)

May grit her teeth together, storming into the library and slamming the books down onto the table next to drew, earning a sharp glance from the librarian. "Sorry, bad day, won't do it again, please don't give me a detention!" She pleaded. The man looked for a moment, pressed a finger to his lips, then turned to his work. "Thank the legendaries," she whispered, sliding in next to Drew.

"Hey May," he smirked. "What's wrong, not another messy breakup?" May blushed and opened her books. She grabbed a pencil and paper and Drew grabbed her hand. "I'm talking, that's rude to ignore me." She sighed and rubbed her temples.

"Yes, if you must know, I had another bad breakup. I don't want to talk abou tit, especially with you. I'll ask Misty or Dawn about it." She huffed.

"You liar. First off, you want to be talking to me or you wouldn't have gotten a library pass. You would've gotten a lab pass to talk to Misty and Dawn because they both have projects due and everyone knows their all way behind and it will only take one more F to fail the class entirely."

"What about Ash? I don't want to talk about it in front of him and he's always on the simulators."

"Like anyone but Misty gives a da—" he caught her warning glance, "darn about Ash. He can't even pass a first year exam, he's a moron. You know he's too caught up in his own world to pay attention in class."

"True. Poor thing spends too much time playing with pokémon ouside. He's never going to be a good trainer."

"Second, you broke up with that Richie kid, not the other way around, didn't you?" The pencil slid from her hand and clattered to the floor. She gawked at him. "May, you'd be crying if you were dumped, not mad. Plus Richie's in that corner over there moaning about you dumping him."

"Yeah, he took it pretty hard," she mused. "Guess I'm a real heartbreaker."

"So, tell me why you dumped the poor guy."

"I…it's because…the things is…ugh," she slammed her head on the table, trying to get her word right. "Ah! Got it! Love is like a rose," she smiled at Drew, who's favorite pokémon happened to be a Roselia (A/N: Go figure…) "it's beautiful when it's beginning. One of the most beautiful things in the world, even. After a while though, it wilts, dies and sometimes you just loose fascination with it."

'very deep," Drew rolled his eyes. "So Richie's no longer a fun plaything? You got bored of him? Very nice, May, really nice."

"It's not like that!" She shouted. The librarian glared at her. If this child kept shouting, he certainly wouldn't be able to discover how to create the most perfect fruit in the world, the banapple, a cross between an apple and banana he would be praised for and finally be able to get out of the library, from those children he hated so. "Heh heh, that's strike two isn't it?" He nodded. "Okay, sorry. Drew, I didn't get bored of him, I just fell out of love."

"You weren't in love, May. You had a crush. Love is a bit more serious than a physical attraction. Sure, you liked his personality, but don't you think you should get a bit deeper into a relationship before those three fateful words?"

"Very poetic."

"Thank you. Am I right?"

"I guess."

"And love doesn't always die. Last time I checked your parents had a happy marriage."

"Yeah, well, sometimes you get lucky. But generally, love survives like a rose, only preserved between the pages of a book. It's awfully romantic, don't you think?" She asked dreamily. He bent back a plastic ruler and let it smack against her arm. "Ow! Hey!"

"Now. You're trying to kill love. I'm the poet here, back off. Stop it right now or Misty take time out of her busy senior schedule will kick your sophomore ass. Dawn will too. You'll get beat up by a freshman, you want that?" He teased. She sighed and shook her head.

"No, but I still think it. You can't stop me from thinking that," she said rebelliously.

"Oh, come on," he grabbed her hand and dragged her down the dark aisles until they were back on the health class information row, where nobody really wanted to go. "stop talking and squealing, I'm not planning on raping you. Now you said love could only survive in books, I'm here to prove you wrong."

"What are you talking about?" She hissed. "Can we get out of here? There's pictures of women giving birth in this section."

"No! Ugh, the most oblivious girl in the world!" He groaned. "You'd figure she'd get it by now, it's been three years of dropping hints! May, come here," he yanked her close and gave her a quick kiss. She pulled back, giggling and blushing. "What now? My chance can't be that small with you?"

"No. I like you plenty. It's just…I was right."

"What do you mean, I was right?"

"Look around Drew, we are between the pages of a book."

Cue fairy tale endings.

* * *

EVAN AAML: Yes, I shall do that. It may take a while. I'm writing these during math, science, English, religion, and Spanish classes alongside my regular story and notes while trying desperately to not get caught…again…it'll be a long one.

TO EVERYONE ELSE: Sorry again for slow updates, school's back so with homework, it's difficult. You know how it is! The next update will be up ASAP, but as you should know, as soon as possible doesn't mean instantaneous, I'm trying though, truly!!!!

Smile, you've not been smited today!


	24. AM Rubix Cube

AAML again, I know, my DAML lovers are tearing up, but 'tis my pairing, and my muse commands me to write.

Natalia: I don't command you to write, I walk by and whack you on the head and you get an idea knocked out of you. I haven't even touched you recently, I've got a boyfriend, unlike some people who aren't allowed to date for two years and are also terrified of the opposite sex.

Author: You know what…you suck. You're fired.

Natalia: For the last time, I never DO anything to be fired from! Jees, here's a fic for you all. Only two swear words this time, she was a good girl.

* * *

"No you can't!"

"Yes I can!"

"Can't!"

"Can!"

"Can not!"

"Can too!"

"Can not!"

"Shut the frick up already? What the hell are you two arguing about?" Gary crossed his arms over his chest at the bickering duo, Natty clinging onto his arm whining 'please, Gary-kun?' to him. "No, Nat, I will not make-out with Ash!"

'What?" Ash and Misty's fight was cut short as they gawked at the others. Gary sighed and rubbed his temples, it was going to be a long week.

"Natty's sick little fantasy is for me and Ash to make out. You twisted little creature," he glared down at his girlfriend, who beamed up at him.

"I'm sick and, I'm twisted, I'm broke and you can't fix it!" She sang proudly. "So, what were you two little lovebirds tittering about?"

"Ash says he can do anything better than me other than being a girl," Misty scoffed, "which I _am _better at!"

"Say what you want, but I was one pretty girl," he protested. "And I can! There is something I know I can do better than you, I was going to challenge you to it. That's why I brought this up!" He dug deep into his backpack and pulled out a scrambled up Rubix Cube. "I'm really good at these. My record is somewhere in the twenties. It's not a record or anything, but it's faster than most people."

"So you can solve a Rubix Cube is twenty some minutes, congrats, Ash!" She rolled her eyes at him condescendingly.

He frowned, "not minutes, seconds!" He corrected, grinning again. "I can show you, watch!" He dropped his bag and immediately began working on the cube. His fingers flew across it, twisting and turning the thing and smiling all the while, like it was the most fun he'd had in a long time, then dropped it to the ground revealing a small compartment that opened when the cube was solved. "That's for storing notes. The Proffessor gave it to me as a kid. It took me ten minutes my first time. The note said 'congrats, how old are you now?' They were all really surprised." While talking, he took out a small piece of paper and wrote a note down on it, dropping it back in the cube. He mixed it back up. "Okay Misty. Find the message, that's your prize. It's my deepest, deepest secret," he tossed it to her.

"Ash, you've just submitted yourself to the ultimate blackmail. I have to ask, why?"

"Well, uh, Natty, you know big words and creative stuff and you helped me make the plan, so can you tell Misty without giving me away?" Ash asked.

"Anything for you two to kiss, right?" She looked at them wearily.

"Right," they smirked, hiding something.

'Okay! Well, first reason is that a bone isn't the only thing Ash knows how to pick. Next, after much thought, we know how you think, and you don't think in Rubix Cube format. After a few days of such torture of said cub, you'll start getting bugged, not just because Ash can do something better than you, in fact, something you can't, but because it'll be eating you from inside out to know what Ash's secret is, and knowing it's in front of you but you can't get it. If you try and break the cube open a vile a vinegar which will dissolve, oh, sorry, wrong device," she blushed. "If you crack it open, Ash'll know and you're forever violated his trust, which you won't do. The only thing you be able to do is try forever and hope you eventually get it, or admit you're wrong. Good luck with that."

"Let me guess, you're good at Rubix Cubes?"

"Are you kidding? I've never solved that demonic thing in my life. Boys, kiss."

"We never promised anything, you assumed," they laughed. Natty looked back and forth between the two, confused, then groaned, "…damn."

* * *

"Ugh!" Misty shouted, stomping on the Rubix Cube under her feet. "If Ash does it, it can't be that hard, can it?" She mused. "How can he do that? Maybe he's just lucky? No, that can't be it, he was concentrating on his hand, he had to have a strategy, he had that look." She felt herself start to go weak as she remembered that determined look he had when he was concentrating, so adorable… "Ugh! But what? I've even looked online! Not a thing helps!"

"I come for a visit because I started to think of you as an intelligent being, and all I hear is whining. I coul've stayed with May for that.

"Hey Doctor Drew."

"Hey Magic Misty. Ho-oh, those are stupid names," he laughed. Misty grinned back. "So, what's wrong today?"

"I'm sad because you and May haven't had a happily ever after yet, when can I be expecting that?"

"When you save CinderAsh from his evil stepbrothers and whisk him away with a hat big enough to fit his overgrown ego," he retorted. She giggled and stuck out her tongue at him. "So there's a problem in your life, tell me, I can help. Dr. Drew, Dr. Phil, same thing."

"Yeah, see, there's this Rubix Cube-"

"Wait, Rubix Cube? No. No, no, no, no. I do not do Rubix Cubes."

"Well, it's not just that. See, Ash is really good at these for some reason. This Rubix Cube opens up and you can put stuff inside, like candy or chocolates or a deep, deep secret that you taunt your friend with because maybe, just maybe, you've had a crush on her for years and years and the two of you could have a romantic life together and," her voice had been rising with hope and desperation, she blushed, coughed, and cleared her throat, "you know, that sort of stuff." She picked up the cube.

"So, I bet you're wondering how Ash is beeter than you at this. I think I know." Drew smirked. Misty looked up, her eyes flashing with that same mix of hope and desperation. "First, tell me what May meant the other day by 'one day winning a contest won't be the only reason I get a rose'?"

"It means she wants to DATE you moron! Now tell mewhy Ash can do this when I…can't do it as fast,'" she trailed off.

"Because Ash thinks ahead when he's making a plan. It's what makes him such a great trainer. He think of the next five steps in advance, every mistake his enemies made, will make, all go through his head. That's what makes him good at the cube." Drew sighed. "That impossible cube."

"He can do it in twenty seconds," Misty deadpanned. Drew's eyes widened.

"Damn."

"I know. But just because he solves the cube doesn't mean I'm a bad trainer because I'm slower. I'm a great trainer," she defended.

"Yeah, you're right. But most of the stuff you use comes straight from the books. And you can be an awesome trainer with that, one of the best, but it's never going to help you solve this," he laughed. He tugged the cub from her hands and held it in front of her face.

"I'm good at riddles," she muttered.

"Thanks for sharing something complete irrelevant to our conversation," he rolled his eyes. "You better give up on ever knowing Ash's secret, unless you can find someone to open it for you."

"Especially since I'll never admit I'm wrong," she giggled. She was then interrupted by the sound of a skull hitting wood, repeatedly. "Stop it, Drew. You'll dent the table."

"No concern for my head. May would be concerned for my head. She likes my head," he grumbled. "But you have a chance to possibly find out some key blackmail here, maybe even get the guy you've had a crush on since you were ten or eleven and all you have to do is say 'you were right and I was wrong'. Hold up, can you even say it to me? Right now, seriously, don't even pretend I'm Ash or anything, just say I was right about the Rubix Cube and you were wrong."

"I was right about the Rubix Cube and you were wrong," she smiled cheekily.

"Very cute," he smiled back, "now say it right."

"It right. Sorry, couldn't resist," she giggled. "You were right and I was…misinformed," she shrugged, looking away from him.

"Have you ever said that sentence in your life?" he gaped.

"Uh, once, twice, three times tops. Not since I turned six."

"Okay, you need to tell Ash you were wrong. It won't kill you, promise. You'll live." She sighed and tapped the cube against the table. "Yes, I know it's like having bamboo shoot shoved under your fingernails, but which is worse, a second of torture or missing one of the greatest chance you'll ever have? Think about it Waterflower. I'm leaving to mess with May's head again, see ya." He sauntered away. "Oh, and loverboy's here. Hahaha, ow! Don't hit me, Romeo! Ow! Jerk. See if you ever get advice from me, you're never winning a contest."

Misty groaned as her crush strode it, "I don't want to say it. I won't say it. I won't. I won't and you can't make me."

"I'll settle, Mist. I'll settle for: I was wrong, I was incorrect, I thought wrong, I need help, help me, you've got the body of a Roman God," he joked, making her giggled. "There's a smile! I knew you couldn't stay made at me for long. You like me too much." He beamed.

"I wasn't ever mad at you," she sighed. "I was mad at me, for not being able to do this, for being…" Misty trailed off and reddened. "It really is hard to say."

"Which is easier to say, 'I need help', 'I was wrong,' or 'I love you, Ash Ketchum'. The last can even be sarcastic."

"I love you, Ash Ketchum" she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Wow, it is hard for you. Then again, it always has been the M double W fraise that riles you up best."

"Huh?"

"Misty was wrong."

"was not! I was misinformed!" She protested, then groaned. "Ugh, I can't do it. Ash, I can't. I am physically unable to say those words!" She stiffened as she felt his hands drop to her shoulders and rub them gently. "What are you doing?"

"Helping you to relax so you can say it," he smirked at her surprised face. "Now, close your eyes and take deeps slow breaths." She closed her eyes and shook her head.

"No, Ash, I feel stupid," she looked up at him.

"Who are you talking to? No matter what you day, you're always going to be smarter than me," He laughed lightly. "Now close your eyes, and take a deep breath in and out." She did, feeling herself loosen up. "Now, say I was wrong, I need your help."

"I was…" the sentence died on her tongue and left a bitter taste. She felt Ash's hot breath by her ear, whispering what to do, making her mind go blank. "I was…wrong, Ash, and I need your," deep breath, "help."

"There now, was that so hard?" He said, she could practically hear the triumphant smile in his voice. "Now, pick up the cubs and I'll show you how to solve it, and then you can have that secret all to yourself."

"It _was_ painful, thank you very much, and I don't think I can solve this thing even with you guiding me every step of the wa…what are you doing?" Her voice leaped up, this was very embarrassing, and he probably didn't even know what he was doing to her. His arms had waltz down from her shoulders to her hands, helping her hold the Rubix Cube. His cheek touched hers, his warm breath falling down her collar bone.

"I'm showing you how to solve it," he smiled. "You'll never get it if I just try to tell you what to do. Besides, you're shaking so much I'm sure you wouldn't mind getting warmer," he said, holding back laughter.

"Yeh-yeah," she stuttered. "I'm juh-just cold. The-that's it." Misty winces, she'd never felt so nervous in her life. She hadn't stuttered this much since she was five! He slowly started turning the Rubix Cube in her hands, his fingers delicately showing her where to go. She couldn't see how he did it but he could've taken off the stickers and replaced them for all she was noticing. Her mind was comfortably curled around the fact that Ash, the oblivious one, was impossibly close, so close that if that stupid chair wasn't in the way she could probably feel his chest.

_Click!_ The cube slowly opened, and Ash's hands fell off hers, his face unmoving as she opened the paper with a puzzled face. "Turn your head, Mist. Turn my head? You promised me a secret Ketchum, you scam art-"

If Misty had a rational mind she would've been screaming about not being able to finish a sentence that day, or screaming with joy. If she had a rational mind, she would've made a crack at Ash's strange confession. In fact, if she had had a rational mind right then she would've pulled back and kissed him instead, just to get some form of dominace. However, as of that moment, all rational thought shut down due to the delusion causing drug that must've been lingering an Ash's lips. The cubs clattered to the floor, her muscles went weak and all she could do was hold Ash's shirt like a rope and hope this wasn't all a dream, a beautiful, beautiful dream.

"So, you're in love with me?"

"Uh-huh. Would you say I was wrong, you were right again?"

"You were right, I was wrong," she said dazedly, still dizzy from the kiss. Her kissed her hard again. "What was that for?"

"Every time you say that, I just want to kiss you," He smiled.

And do to these sequence of events did Misty utter the worst words to a large percentage of the world's population, "Bless whoever thought up a Rubix Cube."

* * *

RUBIX CUBES ARE IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm thinking of writing a full length serious story, it'd be fun, I suppose. I hit upon a great idea for it. I think I'll writ eit. It might not work, so don't have high expectations.

Congrats to those of you who figured out the mystery last chapter! Those people were:

A Rose for me – A Rose for you

EVAN AAML

Super Reader

See ya soon! (hopefully)


	25. AMDM Themed Stories

While playing around on the internet, I found some themes. I am currently writing a camping story, my serious story, and I finished up this.

I was very, very naughty with the stories…

**I'll mark the clean ones for ya'll in bold!**

I know it's been a while, but I've been a very busy girl. I wrote somethin' extra long for you! Here ya go!

(AAML and DAML)

* * *

**Clean **(Theme: Hero, Pairing: AAML) THE QUEEN OF INTERNET RUMORS

Fangirls. Usually you hear about them whenever I bring up Gary or Drew, but Ash has them too. He's a hero. He's always been a hero. He's always going to be a hero. That's Ash.

My Ash.

He's mine. They think that they're his one true love. They think they have a chance. They don't. Only I do. He's not ready for love. That's fine. I can wait. I can wait a long time for him. He's naïve, childish, funny, stupid, but he's still mine. They don't know that. They think he's perfect.

In fact, they think his favorite color is baby blue. They think his favorite food is pizza. They think his favorite pokémon is Pikachu. They think his first traveling partner was Brock, that Misty tagged along later for no reason. They think that Ash never showed any romantic interest in girls, not even Giselle because he believed in a strict catholic life full of no sins.

They don't know. I wrote that. The tagalong, me, I wrote it. I'm the queen of internet rumors. I know that his favorite color (something that made me blush when he told me) was cerulean, the color of my eyes, specifically. His favorite food is hamburgers. He eats them constantly, no surprise there. His favorite pokémon isn't Pikachu, he loves them all devotedly, undyingly, to such an extent that you can't see a difference. I was his first traveling partner. Brock came after me. I came because I wanted my bike…

A bike and a school girl crush.

And he did show interest in girls. Plenty of times. It makes me angry just thinking about it. As for a life free of sins? Gluttony, Greed, Wrath, all of those were shown plenty of times, and he never cared for religion much at all.

He's not perfect. He can't do it by himself. He's not unbelievingly handsome, but if nothing else, that's it.

He's a hero.

My Hero.

* * *

**Clean **(Theme: Red, Pairing: DAML (well, no duh. Like 'red' isn't enough of a hint)) COLORS

Maybe I like colors because I'm a coordinator. I love to make things match, make them look good. I can't help it, fashion and violence, my two loves combined into one sport. What could possibly be better?

I digress. I was going to talk about the truth behind my color obsession, my overall fascination with them. It's been noted by many a person that the roses I give May, supposedly a sign of love, are red and green.

She's the red. I'm the green. Her clothes, my hair, obvious connection.

For some reason I believe that the colors of the world around us show us the way. They have symbolism. I'm the only one who's so concerned with colors, at least that I know. It's no surprise then that fate made my love dress in red, the color of passion, romance…love. With every rose I give to her, I'm slowly falling for May Maple.

I don't mind, I love the color red.

* * *

**Clean **(Theme: Fever, Pairing: AAML (the title is not a typo)) HEATFELT CONFESSION

So she lay there, panting, trying to break a fever. Her face was covered with the sweat we kept wiping from her face. She shook, whimpering, ranting, none of us exactly sure about anything. Team Rocket, Brock, me, all of us were doing as Nurse Joy had instructed, praying the medication would kick in soon.

I was shivering with her, all of us were terrified. Terrified that she'd die, and we could've prevented it somehow, someway. She'd been sick for days, not one of us had noticed. She had to be so strong, so guarded. We'd pushed her when she said she was too tired to keep walking, sniggered when she complained she was too hot, gawked when she said she was too cold. It wasn't until she had fainted during a battle did we realize the problem.

"I'm sorry, mommy. I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I won't. I promise. I promise, I promise, mommy, mama, I promise. It wasn't on purpose, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. My big sisters told me I killed mama, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, sir, I didn't mean to kill her, I just wanted a book. I just want a book mama. I didn't know about the car crash mommy, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't know. I didn't know."

"Shh," Jessie tried to soothe. "It's okay…" she looked at me. I whispered 'Misty'. I should've been mad that she couldn't remember her name. I couldn't, too sad, too scared. "Misty, it's fine. You'll be okay. You didn't…you didn't kill her, kid."

Misty quieted, panting, moaning, then the talking started again. "I just want the good girls to like me. I'm sensational, I am. I can be a good girl too. I won't yell anymore, I'll be good. I don't care if you hate me, please just talk to me. Yell at me, Daisy. Violet? Lily? Please! I'm sorry I killed mom! I'm sorry! I can't take it anymore! Talk to me! Talk to me before I hurt you. Talk to me!" I grabbed her hand and held it tight, rubbing my thumb along it.

"We shouldn't hear this," I said, my voice cracked. "She wouldn't want us to see her when she's so…vulnerable." All I wanted was too hold her close until she stopped crying. Hold her until she felt better again. "Don't cry, Misty. You're okay. I'm here. Your sisters talk to you all time. Sometimes we all wished they'd shut up."

"Ash," she whispered. We didn't even bother to let our hearts leap with excitement. She'd said all our names at one point or another, going into another delusion, one more recent. "Don't die, Ash." I let out a low whining groan, feeling a hand rub my back reassuringly. Not the guilt trip again. Anything but that. But she went on. "Don't die, Ash. You have to save the world, don't die. You still owe me a bike, Ash, don't die. Don't die, don't die. Ash is never really alone 'cause he's got, me. Ash! Don't!" Her breathing was heavier. "Don't die, Ash. Don't. Please don't. I know I'm mean, but it's only because…because…don't die! Please don't die! You're going to die? Oh, Mew, you're going to die. You're going to die and I haven't even told you I…I love you, Ash. I do. I know fifteen's too early to really know, but I think I do, and if I don't then it's a really, really bad crush. Don't die. Please don't die," she said, her voice dropping to a low whisper, starting to cry.

I put her hand to my lip and held it there for a moment before letting it fall. "I love you too, Misty. Don't cry. I won't die." Her breathing calmed. The fever had broken.

* * *

(Theme: Temptation, Pairing: DAML (once again, teen rating. It's called 'temptation', guys!)) INNOCENCE

She's so innocent. She unbelievably innocent. It drives me insane. I want to take it. Every ounce of innocence she has, just rip it out of her with my teeth and lips and hands. She stands close enough to feel her warmth. It takes so much restraint…so much.

Where to begin? She hasn't been kissed, oh Ho-Oh, I want to be the first. I want to be the first to touch those lips. I want to be the first to clash my tongue against hers, my teeth to be the first to sink into those rose red pair. I want to feel her throat vibrate with moans when I nip at her neck. She'd never be able to go out of the house without cover up again.

"Hey, Drew. What are you doing here?" She asks sweetly. The answers I could give for that. More like the trouble I could get in for those answers. Ugh, she's so cute. Every instinct in me screams to show her what a bad boy I am. Show off, battle someone, anything to get her to look at me in some other light other than…_friend._

"Nothing," I say, gritting my teeth. She touched my arm. I shiver. She's so, so naïve. All the touching, the hugs she gives, the whispering in my ear. It's like she's trying to get me to pounce on her.

"Nothing? Why'd you knock on my door?" She cocked her head to the side, a little smile on her face. Childish innocence is sewn into her voice. I glared. "Well, come on in. I've got nothing better to do. How are you?"

"Fine," I say abruptly. She leads me over to the couch. "Let's watch TV or something. Any channel, I don't care. Just turn in on."

"No problem," she walked over to the TV and bent over, making my mouth go dry. Her pants stretched tightly around her thighs and…everywhere. "Channel three good for you? Nothing wrong with the news, right?"

"News. Right," I swallowed. She tripped and fell into me on her way back, her face dangerously close to mine. "Get off."

"Sorry," she blushes.

She stands up slowly, unknowingly giving me a chance to scan her entire upper torso. My hands lash out without my will, dragging her down and onto me. I shove my tongue into her mouth without consent, pleased with a moan. My fingers danced along her curves, fast and frantic, not in my control anymore. My shirt was on the ground, May straddling me with nothing in a bra by the time she pulled back, lips curved in a smile.

"It took fifteen years to get you to do that," she said with a seductive smile, unbuttoning my pants.

"You planned this?" I managed to gasp and she found a way to pull my pants off, leaving me in nothing but green briefs.

"Only for the past few months. Until then, you were calling all the shots on me. Now I get it. Tempting someone is just so, so much fun." She purred.

Maybe she's not so innocent. Not innocent at all.

* * *

**Clean **(Theme: Run, Pairing: AAML (seeing a pattern yet?)) RUN

My name is Misty Waterflower and I am, without a doubt, a workaholic.

Being addicted to something is what soothes you when life barrels out of control. When something bad happens, I work. There's lots of things for me to work on. I know three main languages of the world, (enough to get by on) which are English, Spanish, and French. I can play the guitar somewhat decently. I was awarded gym leader of the year, told by the inspector I had the cleanest establishment, and revered in the news as one of the hardest working women in Kanto.

I don't give a freaking damn. I'm sixteen. Give the award to some old miltank who's going to croak and ought to have some happiness. That was my acceptance speech. I'm also revered as a blatant young lady with an attitude problem. Well, that's what happens when your way to get rid of stress is to add more mewdamned stress!

I've taken up running. I love to run. It's great. All I have to do is imagine I'm getting away with the one who's making me so angry. The one who's keeping some big secret from me, with a stupid confident smile and beautiful crinkled eyes: Ash Ketchum.

I'm on the track every day, jogging, walking, running, some rapper screaming into my iPod headphones about inappropriate things. I don't care. They help me run. Let them be angry as long as I can cool myself down with every step taking me away from him.

I hate him.

Alright, I love him. Why the hell do you care?

"Misty," says a warning tone. I crash into something sturdy and fall onto my back, glaring up at the boy. "You're going to hurt your body if you keep pushing so hard."

"Ketchum," I snarled. "Glad you decided to drop in and say hi. Where have you been the last few months?" I know where's he's been. Training. It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. It doesn't mean I don't wish I could come first in someone's life for once. I set off down the track again, as fast as I could.

"Misty! Come back! Misty!" He shouted. I ignored him. I wasn't going to stop for him. He wasn't chasing me either. It wasn't until one minute later, when I slammed into a pair of arms, holding me tight, that's when I realized something… "I know how you're feeling. Maybe I've never felt it before, but I now what you feel. Listen, Misty, just like you I had to make sure I was set up. I wanted to make sure I was on the right track. I don't like to multitask, you know me. But my job's set up now. I'm a Pokémon Master. I have time now, and so do you." He smiled down at me, trembling in his arms.

"I missed you," I whispered, clinging close.

See,the thing I realize is that no matter how far I run, no matter how fast or where, every step I take leads me back to

* * *

(Theme: Dream, Pairing: DAML (for teens only)) ONLY DREAMING

_May crashed her lips onto his, her mouth opening instantly to let his creep inside. They battled for power, not really caring who won as long as the touching continued. Her hands slid under her shirt, feeling, rubbing, scratching. He let a moan loose from his mouth. Her lips came off of his, trailing down his neck._

_She began nipping and biting, trying to console him with running her tongue over the sores. Somehow his shirt came off, soon followed by his shoes, socks, and pants. She slid down kissing his chest, his moans growing louder._

_Seemingly no longer able to take it any more, he took control and ripped off her shirt, buttons flying to Mew knew where, his fingers easily undoing her bra…_

"Wake up! Get up!" Came a voice. May sat up with a gasp, hand over her rapidly beating heart and looked at her little brother, hoping she hadn't scarred him for life. "You were moaning in your sleep. Are you okay? What was the nightmare about?"

"Nightmare? Oh, no, don't worry Max. I was just dreaming about…getting a massage. You know how I love those." He looked suspicious, but walked away anyway. May sighed with relief. These dreams were not going to stop anytime soon.

* * *

**Clean **(Theme: Laugh, Pairing: AAML) TICKLISH

"Hey, Misty," she heard the mischievous voice behind her. Misty turned around in surprise. "It's me!"

"Ash? What are you doing here?" She gasped in surprise. "Ash! You're in my room! What have I told you about coming in my room when the door is closed? I could've been changing! I could've been naked!"

"Yeah, sure," he rolled his eyes. "You would've locked the door. I'm only here for a little while, come on, let's make it fun."

"What do you want to do?" She asked.

"A game," he said teasingly. He pulled her over to her bed and pushed to it, laughing at her angry shout as she landed on her stomach. She continued to rant and rave about her not wanting to play games, just talk. "You're no fun," he tackled her on the bed, pinning her down.

"Ash, get off!" She snapped. "Stop acting like such a kid! You need to grow up and act mature so you can get a job and actually have a life! Maybe people will stop exploiting all your childish faults and ripping you off!"

"I need to grow up?" He asked with a snort. He gave her a playful smile. "I think you might need to grow up a bit. You're still ticklish, aren't you?" Her entire body stiffened under him with horror. "You are! I knew it!"

"N-no! I am not, Ash! And don't you touch me! We're fifteen, Ash! We're not supposed to be touching each other anymore!" He ignored her and grabbed her foot, forcing her knee to bend. They began to unlace her shoe, letting it fall to the floor, her sock following it. "Ash! Don't you dare! Don't you dare, Ash!" He placed one finger on her foot, feeling her draw in a breath. "The only place I'm ticklish is my ribs now. You can't touch me there. It's not acceptable. It's…it's inappropriate!"

"You know, I don't really care." He sniggered again.

"Alright, Ash. Don't. Please, okay, I am ticklish. Don't. You know I hate that. Please don't," she pleaded.

"Well…" Ash said thoughtfully. "Nah." He said, beginning to wiggle his fingers against the sole of her foot. She jerked under him, trying to tug her foot away. Her hand slammed over her mouth. She would not laugh. She could not laugh. He would not get the satisfaction of breaking her. "Come on!" He turned around, getting off of her but keeping her pinned.

"See? I'm not as ticklish as you think. Leave me alone."

"No," he retorted. He snagged her up so she sat in his lap, his arms around her waist. "You've got to be ticklish somewhere." Ash's fingers slid up her sides, moving slowly, feeling her squirm a bit at his touch. "That's it, isn't it?" He traced his fingers around her navel.

"Cut it out," she said, fighting the smile trying to appear. "Stop it!" He moved his fingers fast against her sides, grinning when the giggling started, soon turning into laughter. She writhed under him, swearing and yelling at him.

"Here's the deal, I'll stop if you promise me you'll do something for me," He smiled.

"Anything, just stop it, please! I can't breathe!" she laughed. "I promise! I'll do anything! Just stop!" She screamed, laughing harder. Ash relented. "Thank you, thank you so much. I've told you a million time not to-"

He shut her up by placing his lips over hers, licking her lips a minutes later, begging for entrances. She denied him, her mouth firmly shut. His fingers once again traced along her ribs, startling a laugh from her, and his tongue darted in quickly, back out instantly. He pulled back with a grin.

"You know, Misty, I love your laugh."

* * *

(Theme: View, Pairing: DAML) FAIR

It wasn't intentional, I swear. I know you never hear this from girls, but I accidentally saw my crush…naked. Not only that, but I…I liked it. My body tingled, my hormones flipped out…I'll show you what happened. By the way! I'm not ten! I'm not. We're older, lots older…eighteen…

Drew and I have been traveling together. We've been getting hotels and pokémon centers and rooms just fine. Recently, however. They were all booked except for the honeymoon quite. Sure, it was extra money, but it was big enough that one of us could take the floor. We were excited, there were even two bathrooms.

We'd gone into one bathroom, excited to see a huge mirror, and Drew claimed it as his own, sending me into the other room. And then…then I realized with horror that it was a one-way mirror, and I could see right through to Drew in the bathroom.

I had never, ever seen a boy naked except for the pictures in sex ed. In fact, I had never even seen Drew without a shirt on, but I saw him then. His purple jacket slowly slipped off, the black shirt following it. I took a deep breath as the six pack became visible, my stomach muscles clenching with delight. My face heated slowly, my all too virgin mind begging me to turn away. I couldn't, trapped in desire. His shoes, his socks, his pants sliding down. He kicked them off into the corner and walked off to the shower, making me give a growl of frustration.

Then the pants fells off. My mouth dropped open and my heart stopped. That was something I'd never seen before, not in color at least. I gave a barely audible squeak, followed by a yelp. "Drew, put your clothes on!" I screamed. He turned in surprise, grabbing his boxers and pulling them back on, storming over to my bathroom.

"You were watching?" He said, grabbing me by the arm and dragging me towards his bathroom with a blush on our faces.

"Y-yeah," I stuttered. "I'm sorry, if there's anything I can do to make it up to you."

"Oh, no. it's fine. No big deal. I guess we'll just have to solve the problem the old fashioned way." We stopped in front of his bathroom door, he smiled. "We'll just switch bathrooms. Fair, don't you think?"

My mouth opened, trying desperately to form words. I knew what to do, reject, scream no, run away. But all that came out was, "Fair is fair." And walked on in, turned towards the mirror, and began to slowly unbutton my top.

* * *

(Theme: Farewells, Pairing: AAML) Farewell

It drew across Ash's chest, causing fire to erupt from waist to shoulder. He moaned. He would not scream, he would not cry. That's too embarrassing. A burst of sharp, sharp pain hit his shoulder before it disappeared. The tool raced back down, all over his upper torso. This was it, this was the end. The red substance coated him completely, starting to disappear the the process continued, off of his body. Gone forever. "Okay, okay, enough. I'll jump you if you don't! Stop!"

Misty smiled, sitting up on his chest with a satisfied grin, letting her boyfriend cool off. "Oh, come on, there's nothing wrong with second base." She placed her hands on his naked chest for a moment. She pulled back again and scratched her own body a bit, only in her pants as well. "Learn some self control. Though you are very creative. Ketchup instead of chocolate syrup and whipped cream, how much more Ketchum can you get?" She rolled her head and grabbed the ketchup bottle. "Are you ready for another round?"

"Always," he grinned. He reached up and flipped her over, snatching the ketchup from her in the process. "It's your turn now. You deserve a bit of punishment as well, Misty," he whispered hotly in her ear. He straddled her chest and saw her tremble in fear and anticipation. "Don't worry, Misty. No farther then second base, I swear," he drizzled the ketchup over her chest and leaned forward. "At least for tonight."

And that was it, all over, one hot, steamy make-out session was all it took. Farewell just friends.

* * *

**Clean (Er, no descriptions anyway) **(Theme: Talk, Pairing: DAML) SWITCHED

"Uh, Drew, we need to talk" May said nervously. "We could, er, uh, go somewhere else, or, uh, maybe…maybe here is fine."

"What is it, May?" Drew asked, turning away from the rest of the group.

"See, Max, he plays pranks, and sometimes he doesn't realize what he's doing. You know, he's young, and stupid. You know those pills I take?" She asked, a blush rising on her face. Drew stiffened.

"Yeah…"

"See, he knew they were birth control pills, but he thought it would be funny to switch the brand. The birth control pills he got didn't exactly match the ones I was taking."

"How?" Drew said, his voice squeaking.

"Uh, Max got fertility inducing pills instead of the other kind. So, uh, it's like we were trying to get pregnant, you know. So, uh," she closed her eyes face hot. "Those pills worked. They worked really, really well."

"He's dead," Drew growled. He pulled May close and gave her a rough kiss. "We're twenty two, I was planning on marrying you if you said yes anyway. This is just more incentive, right? May, I love you, I love the baby. However, I'm a little ticked at someone else." He spun off. "Oh Maaaaaaaa-_aaaaax_!" His voice grew from sweet to angry when Max appeared, swearing and running away.

"Um, congratulations?" Ash said cautiously.

May sighed, "Well, at least the talk went better than expected."

* * *

**Clean **(Theme: Fire, Pairing: AAML) SAVE HIM

I could save him. I always could. Anything that happened, I was never afraid to step in, too keep him safe. But that was because it was water. Water was my element. I could keep him from that. It'd be awfully hard to kill me in the ocean. I was invincible there. But that house.

My throat was thick with smoke, wandering through the burning building. He had to be in here. We'd seen him earlier. He wasn't outside when the building caught on fire. He didn't get outside afterwards. I dived headlong into the fire, stupid, yes, but I had to. I loved him. I needed him. I could never help myself.

I continued to stumble through, hearing a weak coughing sound. I raced for it, hoping it was him. It was! I embraced him, his Pikachu in the center of us. I held back tears. "Ash, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," He whispered, holding me as well. "We've got to get out. It's burning."

"I noticed," I said coolly, dragging him out. "Move fast, the building might collapse at any moment."

"Why'd you come? You could've died!" Ash complained, coughing again. I smiled and helped him walk out.

"I can't help it," I whispered, "we're all fools in love." I kissed his cheek and walked on, liking the way he blushed.

"Gee, Mist," he said embarrassedly. He gave me a quick peck back. "Thanks for saving me."

* * *

**Clean **(Theme: Formal, Pairing: DAML) HINTING

It's always like this when we meet afterwards. She's in a dress, I'm in a tux. She keeps her cool somehow, she doesn't overreact or act rude or anything of the sort. She's prim and proper. She knows how to act at parties, and it drives me insane.

Every joke, every poke and prod I make at her, not a sound, not a complaint. She's so…so proper. It makes me want to kick her or something to get some sort of reaction out of her. She stares at me with those wide eyes.

"Drew, don't be rude."

"I'll be as rude as I want!"

"It's a formal dance. Behave yourself," She scolds.

"Where's the fun in that? No fun dancing, no laughing, no yelling, no teasing, no screaming, no taunting, no kissing," I groaned. "Formals are all around boring if there's no one to make fun of."

"We can have some fun after," May shrugged. "That's what formals are for, to leave hints of what to happen later." She leaned forward and gave me a peck on the cheek. "Hint, hint."

* * *

Lots o' fun. R and R if you dare! 


	26. AMDM Camping

Tra la la…what a delightful day! Eh, nothing special, actually. Anywho, this a creative story is an idea from EVAN AAML because nobody else seems to enjoy **SHARING**! But, thank you EVAN AAML! You all get to find out how old I am since, screw it, you'll know my age and the fact that I live in America. Oh, yeah, that totally narrows it down.

Now, one last thing to all you people out there. I recently discovered while paging through my writing book for English class (because if I try to page through any of my other books I get pictures of sex organs or dead babies or math problems, all of which are not cool) and I discovered something important:  
… See that? The triple dots? It doesn't mean 'time lapse'. It's incomplete ideas! You want someone to pause? You use a comma or a ; or a :. Dot dot dot is only used when the person starts a sentence, can't finish it, and tries again. THAT'S what it's for, dammit.

* * *

AAML & DAML (Misty's POV followed by May's)

Let's go camping, he said. It'll be fun, he said. No, not he, they said. Drew and Ash were all excited about a camping trip. Why is camping so much fun? It's what we do when we're at freaking work, you know, our journeys! But May and I were stupid, we were all "Sure, sounds like fun!"

I had a feeling it would suck. Something bad had to happen to me. In all the years I traveled with Ash, only one bad thing has truly happened to me. I twisted my ankle. That's it. I think worse stuff has happened to the others girls, or they've been manipulated in some way. What was my manipulation, a bad makeover? Oh, the unadulterated horror (sarcasm, sarcasm.) So, that's it. It was time for something bad to happen to me.

I'll start from the beginning. When we were first in the car, yeah, that'll be fun.

"I love Three Days grace." Surprisingly, that wasn't me referencing an incredible band, it was Ash Ketchum. Yes, I would've thought he'd love something along the lines of, I don't know, Christian Rock or something, but it turns out he likes Alternative…and Christian rock. The boy loves everything. "Misty, you've got some awesome songs on your iPod. There's also some you shouldn't be listening to. The Bloodhound Gang? Tsk, tsk."

"I will not kill Ash Ketchum. I will not kill Ash Ketchum," I seethed in the back seat, face red. The Bloodhound Gang isn't exactly the cleanest band out there. Stupid Ash called stupid shot gun and stupid Drew was driving the stupid car to the stupid lake so we could go stupid camping. It was stupid. I sound like Gaz from Incader Zim…which is stupid! "Ash, I'm going through something called 'withdraw'. Withdraw is what happens when something somebody is addicted to, say cigarettes or liquor or say, I don't know, _music_," I said pointedly, "and that something is taken away from them. They then have an uncontrollable need to destroy whatever has taken said thing and won't give it back."

"Golly gee, Misty. It appears that the seatbelt has decided to lock itself on this bumpy terrain road and you have no way of taking back your iPod without shooting through the window," Ash looked back at me with a boyish grin. "Tough luck."

"You…" I began. My teeth gritted. Insults and threats were shooting out of my mouth soon afterwards, I didn't really know what I was saying. All I knew was that stupid, stupid grin made me shiver and tingle with delight. It drew so much attention to those red lips, and all I wanted was nothing more than to lean forward just far enough to lock onto them. Oh, Mew, he was so, so beautiful. "And I'll bring you back again and rip your insides out through your throat!"

"Wow," Drew blinked. "How are you going to do that fourth threat?"

"Fourth threat?" I asked. "I can't remember anything I just said. It's like I had a rage blackout or something."

"_It starts in my toes and I crinkle my nose, wherever it goes-_" We all turned to May, not realizing she had been singing under her breath until now (just a little off key). She looked up at us and blushed. "Uh, I, uh, I'm better at dancing."

"You're worse at coordinating than singing," Drew said.

"I'm taking that as a compliment. I'm an awesome coordinator, so I must be an awesome singer."

"Er, not exactly," Ash wrinkled his nose. "What's this? A favorites playlist? It is! And what is on it? It's The Used! Do you like the band Misty?" He smirked at me. "I love this song, 'All That I've Got' I believe it's called. Wait, I don't have to guess! I can just look on the iPod screen!"

"Give me back my music, dammit!" I screamed, managing to send a foot into the front row. "Ashley! Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley! Give me my iPod you…you pansy ass, punk ass, dumb ass, moron! I need music!"

"Keep it down," Natty muttered, popping up form the backseat. "I'm trying to keep Gary off of me. No touching! I told you about public displays of affection, Mary, which, though it may not start with the same letter, is indeed the closest your name can get to a girl's name, as far as I know."

"At least my name can't be turned into a girl's name," Drew chuckled. Ash began to snicker.

"Yes it can. In fact, there are girls named Drew."

"I mean a total girl's name."

"Still can," Ash snorted. He looked back at me. "You want to tell him, or should I?" I shook my head. "You don't know? Natty, Gary, May? Anyone have any ideas?"

"I can think of an excellent song by Relient K that applies. What, Ashy-boy, the Hardy Boys weren't good enough for you?" She giggled. Ash shrugged. "Can I say it? Please let me sing the song!" Ash shrugged again. "_I've got this thing for Nancy Drew-"_

"Okay! That's enough!" Drew shouted, slamming on the breaks. He flushed. "Nobody ever call me that ever again!" I smirked at the rearview mirror. "Yes! That's what the kids called me in grade school! Shut up!"

"Oh, cool down, I'm the cross dresser," Ash grinned. "I'm such a pretty girl. I fooled Misty, er, sort of."

"That was weird, Ash. Weirdest day ever," I shook my head. I glanced back at Natty. "Are you still taking Gary away this holiday for your fifteenth birthday? If you're not I need to get him a Christmas present. Ugh, more holiday shopping."

"When do you start?" Gary asked in surprise. He turned to Natty. "Why are we here anyway if we're just planning on ditching the losers?"

"Because we need a ride here and back because I need to catch some pokémon and get some training in for the baby pokémon my family's raising," she beamed at me. "That reminds me, we got in a shipment of tentacool if you want to buy or catch one. One hundred to buy, ten to catch, your choice."

"Thanks, but I think I'd rather come across one in the wild," I declined. She shrugged and dropped back down to the back, turning on her _own _iPod which also had every genre known to man on it. "Ash! iPod! Give it!"

"Eh, no," he chuckled. "Not going to happen, so cool it."

"If we camp when we're training, which we do most of the year, what's the point of camping now? It's not really a vacation. It's just like work. We're taking a break from work to go to work!" May gasped, feeling betrayed.

"Nah, it's like taking time off from work to relax at home," I smiled. I turned my attention to Ash, proudly singing one of my favorite songs. "Shut up! Give me my iPod! You're starting to sound like you can actually sing!"

"Beg," Ash snorted.

Though it was against my better judgment, I really needed that little piece of junk. "Please Ash! I'm begging you! Give me back my iPod! Please, I need it. I need music! What do I have to do? Give you my heart? I'll sing for you! Just. Give. Me. That. iPod!"

"Fine, you can have it." He tossed it back to me. I gave a giddy squeal and blasted it into my ears. Ash and Drew talked for a while, inspiring a blush from Ash. I was curious about it, but decided to leave it for later. Car rides always made me sleepy, and the calming ballads in the later half of my playlist weren't really helping. My eyes started to drift closed, my head dropping up and down and up and down and down…

It was dark by the time we got to the campsite.

I witnessed the cutest scene in the world. Misty had fallen asleep on the way over, and since she had been overworking lately we let her rest. So we set up camp, got a fire starting, and pushed Ash into waking her up. Ash was too scared to do this, however. He pulled her out of the car bridal style. When she began to stir, he soothed her. Blushing, her dropped her off in her tent, turned off her iPod, and walked away.

"Aw, does Ashy have a girlfriend?" I crooned. He flushed and began to stalk off. "Ash, come back! I think it's cute! You're such a sweetheart!" Ash spun around, gaping and growling. "You _know _you are! You're kind and gentle and-"

"A pansy ass. Gary and I will be out catching pokémon," Natty explained. She grabbed Gary's hand and ran off with him.

"I'm not a pansy ass! I just…I don't want to get beat up! I don't like her! I just…" he swallowed. "You know what, just shut up!"

"Where am I?" Came the shriek. Misty was apparently awake, and very freaked out. Ash looked towards the tent, a bit anxious. "Where am I? Daisy? Violet? Lily? Ash!" At the sound of his name he scrambled into the tent to calm her down like the hero he was.

"Let's get out of here while they're preoccupied," Drew said. I blinked.

"And go where?" I asked.

"Away," he shrugged. He grabbed my hand and began to lead me away. I pulled back cautiously. It was dark out there. "Misty and Ash won't mind, come on."

"Uh, no, I don't think so," I shook my head.

"What, you're not scared, are you?" He taunted. I blushed. "Don't be such a coward, May! It's just the woods."

"But it's dark! What if we lose our way?" I protested. It wasn't until a few seconds later that I realized I had been walking with him into the dark forest. Okay, so, maybe it wasn't that I was afraid of getting lost. Maybe I was afraid we'd, you know, be alone in a romantic setting. The moon shining, a walk through the woods, holding hands. I might be tempted to, uh, blurt a thing or two out. Maybe I'd say something like, I don't know, 'Drew, I love you with a passion, let's get married right now. I know we're young and all, but I think you're a sex god.'

That would be a bit embarrassing.

"Don't worry," He smiled. He pulled out a small device from his pocket and began to swirl it. After about a minute of this, he stopped and caught it. Drew flipped a switch to turn on the flashlight. "I've got us covered. Come on."

"I'm still not so sure."

"What do you want to do? Leave a trail of breadcrumbs?" He grabbed my hand again, giving me a strange buzzing feeling. "I'll keep you safe, don't worry. You can just hold my hand and let the man around here take care of you."

"You're not a babysitter!" I shouted.

"Oh, quiet," he scolded.

"You can't make me go."

"I don't have to make you. You _want _to, don't you?" He said snidely.

I sighed. Yeah, he was right. I like Drew. I had this feeling that he liked me too…it could've been false hope. I gave his hand a gentle squeeze to see if he would change his mind and dropped it. Instead, he just turned his head down at it in surprise, like he hadn't remembered doing it in the first place. Drew looked back up at me. Did I see a tint of red? Then he shrugged and began to walk off a bit stiffly. "Drew, Drew wait!"

"Hurry up!" He called in front of me. I groaned and ran towards the spot of light in the distance, grabbing onto him tightly when I reached him. "May! What are you doing?" He yelped with surprise. Drew wriggled and shoved my arms off of him.

"You can't just leave a lady out in the dark!" I giggled.

"Sorry," he said nonchalantly. He grabbed my hand again (I'm still not sure whether he did it on purpose or not). He didn't act like he had done anything, so we kept walking, hands swinging gently back and forth. "How have you been lately?"

"Er, fine. I won a ribbon," I said awkwardly.

"That's good," he said, sounding just as out of place. We walked in silence for a few more moments before he came to a stop. "Listen, May, I…Ugh. May, this camping trip wasn't just Ash's idea. It, it was mine too."

"Okay, why?" I asked, baffled.

"Ash, has this notion. He thinks that you and I should be, you know, together. I normally don't believe him, because, well, he's an idiot who's in love with Misty." At this point, we both could've sworn we heard two voices scream 'we're not a couple!' We turned back to our conversation. "Anyway, everybody started agreeing with him. Misty did, your brother, Brock, Harley, Ash's Mom, Misty's sisters, my older sister, my cousin, Misty's step brother, Misty's step brother's brother which I don't know if he's technically her step brother or not because of the marriage, but anyway, uh, I was wondering…" He trailed off.

"Drew?" I pressured.

"May, I started thinking that maybe they were right. So I sat down, and I took some time to think, about you. Do you know what I came up with?"

"Yeah. I'm that stupid ditzy girl in the background. I'm gullible and I'm too nice for my own good. I'm a shopaholic. I think too much about fashion. I'm loud. I'm mean to Max. I wear these stupid slutty (A/N: Hmm, strange, slutty isn't a word…) clothes," I shook my head at myself. Now was when he'd come through and argue with me, tell me I'm beautiful and smart and strong and all those things. That's what he'll do.

"Uh-huh."

What the hell?!?!?!?!?!?!

"But then I thought some more. See, love isn't about ignoring someone's faults. It's about standing them. If you really, really like someone, faults don't matter," He flipped his hair, but his heart wasn't in it. "And believe you me, you have lots of faults May Maple." He sighed. "But you have a few good things about you too. And the good things…the good things are why I like you." He made sure I was looking at him. "I really, really like you."

"Really?" I said, my voice girlish and hopeful. "So what are my good traits?" I said sweetly, stepping close to him. For every step I took forward, he took back, leading us farther away from camp with a nervous look on his face. "You look nervous, Drew, what's the matter?"

"Okay, stop," he said. Drew grabbed my shoulders and looked me in the eyes. "I don't want to do something I'll regret."

"Like?"

"Take advantage of you in your weak, emotional state." I backed up and glared at him. "Well, the guy of your dreams just told you that he loves you. It's fine to be a little emotional, May. I would be too if Shakira said she loved me."

"Shakira?" I asked with surprised.

"You obviously haven't seen her dance, or that album cover where only a branch tree thing covers her private areas," he grinned. I scoffed. He was such a playboy. "May, take a step back, we can talk about this. I don't want to do anything that will make you hate me in the morning."

I felt a little playboy playmate rise within me. The girl wearing my body slammed him into a tree, having to shove him quite a few feet back (A/N: Hell, not all trees are conveniently placed, y'know. I write what's in my head. You're lucky I haven't had a freaking horde of vampires come out and slowly kill them both. Sorry, off topic. I'll send you little romance crazed peoples back to contestshipping land.) I leaned in close, my lips close to his. "Who says I'll hate you tomorrow?"

"May, you're making this really hard for me. I might kiss you if you don't back off. We don't want to move to fast, do we?"

"I've known you for four years, at least. It's not fast paced at all. Besides, Drew,' I smiled and flicked off his flashlight (A/N: And cue vampires now! No? Fine. Be that way. No vampires.). Dre's breath caught. He was so strange. He went from careless to emo to romantic to overprotective, and he said _I _was emotional? Please. "Girls get tempted too." I gave a seductive kiss on his collarbone, but the effect was immediately ruined when he roughly pulled me up and touched our lips together is a quick kiss. He pulled me off and gasped.

"Okay, May. We need to stop and think and turn the flashlight on." He fumbled with it and I snatched it away. "Give that back!"

"You're ruining the romanticness of the moment!" I huffed. There was a brief fight for it. That was, until, I shoved it down my bra with a triumphant smirk. "You can kiss me and take it nice and slow, or you can skip right to second base and completely cut out first."

He smirked and flipped his hair. "I've never been one to cheat. If I'm getting ga homerun I'm going around all the bases."

I snorted, "In your dreams."

"That's what I meant," he laughed. I flushed, and he had the advantage once again. I didn't mind though. He kissed me, and he liked me, and I finally had a boyfriend. Who wasn't a prick. Josh was a prick, and that's why we broke up. That doesn't matter, 'cause Drew kissed ME!

* * *

"Misty, calm down!" Ash said hurriedly. I looked around in a panic, hyperventilating until I felt his hand on mine. There are three random things I hate, there are two random things I fear. I hate carrots, peppers, and bugs. I fear bugs and I fear waking up and not knowing where I am. Guess what? I had woken up. I had no freaking idea where I was. That's not fun. It's especially not fun when you wake up sharing a couch with your crush when you're eleven because you got sick while with Mrs. Ketchum and she decides to put you up for the night and you're wondering what the hell you did with him. Which, thankfully, was nothing. "We're camping! We're camping, remember? You fell asleep in the car! Breathe!"

"Right, okay," I took a deep breath and cooled down. I took a quick glance to see where the light was coming from, a lantern by what recently a comfy pillow. "Thanks, Ash. Hey! Did you steal my iPod again?"

"Aw, why don't you have a song that fits me?" He whined, scrolling through another one of my playlists. I like to match up songs with people's personalities. "I think I deserve a song. After all, you _love _me."

"Ha ha. Very funny. Don't you think that bit is getting a little bit old?" I snatched back the iPod. He was referring to the play my sisters forced us to star in. I had to tell Ash I loved him…and we cracked up every time. (A/N: Dang, that's TWO AAMLs right there! Lookit! Sick and play! Cliches, hell yeah, but I know my way to twist around those. Ugh, I'm sorry, last note. Swear!) "Besides, I already know the perfect song for you!"

"Is it by Avenue Q?"

"Yes," I smirked. "you know me too well." I began to say the lyrics with emotion, like we were holding an actual conversation. "If you were gay, that'd be okay. I mean, 'cause, hey! I'd like you anyway!" He punched me in the shoulder. "Hey! That hurt!" I rubbed my shoulder with a giggle.

"You hurt me on the inside," He retorted.

"I think I want to go back to sleep," I sighed.

"Okay," he nodded. Ash leaped to his feet and began to walk out of the tent. I snagged at his pant leg.

"Wait!" I shouted, to desperately. I blushed. He turned and looked at me with a bit of a cocky grin on his face. "Oh, don't say a word! You know I don't really want to go back to sleep. Talk to me. We've got to do something to kill the boredom."

"Like?" He inquired. I bit my lip thoughtfully. "Come on, Misty. Think of something! I'm more bored than you are!"

"Are not!" I snapped. My arms crossed over my chest. "Now, let's see. We're not going to play Truth, Dare, or Truth or Dare. We're not playing Spin the Bottle with Pikachu," I giggled when Ash snapped his fingers sarcastically. "We don't have video games. We're not playing with my iPod because the batteries will die too fast. We don't have any bored games. We don't have any books. We don't have any magazines."

"I'm sure there's something we could do," Ash shrugged. I eyed him carefully.

"Ash, are you blushing?" I asked with surprise. "What were you thinking?" He blushed deeper. "Was it inappropriate?"

"Shut up!" He said, flushing. "I was just going through all your ideas and I noticed you forgot to say no Seven Minutes in Heaven." He curled up in a ball and looked up at me from over his knees. He's so cute when he's embarrassed!

"That's because I thought, maybe, that's be a game you'd be up for," I purred. We looked at each other, eyebrows raised, before we burst out laughing. "Okay, that was funny. I mean, just imagine us kissing in a dark, secluded area," I manage to gasp around my giggles.

"Really, like I'd ever look you in the eyes," he did so dramatically, "and tell you I think you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen. Like…" He trailed off for a second and both and our breath caught as the lantern batteries began to die and the light dimmed significantly. "Like I'd ever say that," his voice sounded a bit dreamy.

"Yeah," I said, my voice sounding the same way. I felt myself scoot a little bit closer to him. "And like I'd ever say that maybe you weren't an ugly little kid anymore. Maybe you'd grown into a cute looking teen." He put his hand on mine, making us both jump a bit.

"And after you said that, we'd be slowly getting closer, our mouths would be kind of dry…" He swallowed nervously and licked his lips. My heart leaped at the sight and my stomach gave a painful twist. He grabbed my hand tighter.

"Then our hearts would beat too loud, and maybe we'd have butterflies in our stomachs," I said. I closed my eyes and shook my head. "But that would never happen! I mean, we're just friends. We don't have any attraction to one another-" Oh, Ho-oh, I had no idea what I was saying. I just wanted to be out of there before we both did something that would ruin our friendship, not to mention getting my heart broken later on.

"Misty," he said with a scolding tone.

"I mean, we could be standing naked in front of one another and have absolutely no sexual tension at all! I mean, I don't, er, like you or anything. And you! You sure as hell don't like me in the least, do you?" I said. His fingers curled into a belt loop and tugged me close.

"I think we mixed up what's real and what's not," He whispered. "Misty, I think you're beautiful."

"Ash!" I gasped, my face burning.

"Your line," He whispered.

"Ash, I," I began. We spun at the snap of a twig outside. "What was that?"

"I don't know," He said. He sounded normal again, the dreamy tone was gone. "Come on. Let's check it out." He grabbed my hand and led me out of the tent. I guess we didn't need to talk about the fact that he almost just had a make out session in the dark.

"Ash, about what just happened. If you want to…"

"We can talk about it later, Mist. Is that what you were asking?" He asked. I nodded mutely. "Uh-huh, later. Pikachu! Where are you?" He turned away and called. "Oh fuuuhhhh, uh, fudge. Yeah, that's what I was going to say, fudge."

"Sure you were, Ash. I believe you," I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, you never swear. Ash, sometimes I think you curse more than I do. Than again, maybe you have more reasons to than I do. You're always getting things stolen, like people, Pikachu, your pants. You think Team Rocket got him? I don't think they could've gotten in and out of here without saying their motto. They've never been able to keep their mouths shut before."

"Really," Ash chuckled. "I didn't notice that they said that annoying motto over and over and over and over again. They've changed it now. It's still got the same rhythm to it, they just switched up the words. I miss the old version of Team Rocket."

"I miss when they were actually evil," I sighed. "You know, the first two or three weeks we knew them? That is until you completely crushed their spirits by defeating them as often as they said their motto," I laughed. I heard the crack of a branch and rushed forward. "Pikachu?" I asked. I dived forward through the bushes, only to come face to face with a long, steep, rocky, oh so scary dirt hill. My right foot took a nasty swerve and sent me toppling down with a scream.

"Misty!" Ash called above me. I slammed down at the bottom, my leg slamming onto a rock with a sickening crack. I groaned and rolled onto my back, trying my best not to jar my leg. "Misty! Misty! Are you okay?"

"No, dumbass!" I screamed, panting. "Do I look okay? No! I don't! I'm in pain! My leg just cracked!"

"Prepare for-what the hell is wrong with twerpette?" Jessie froze and looked down at me. James and Meowth toppled out behind her. "What is it, kid? Are you in labor or something?" She gave a cold laugh that made me want to spring on her.

"Yeah, you've guessed it! I'm pregnant! That's what I'm so (I'll censor out the obscenities) mad about!" During my scream fest, I jostled my leg, which sent me into another rage blackout. "And then I'll kill you!"

"Misty, who are you talking to?" Ash blinked.

"It looks like she broke her leg," James said, leaping down elegantly from his spot. He looked carefully at my leg. "I think we'll have to reset it. You can put up with the pain, can't you, kid?" He asked. I felt my eyes widen.

My voice dropped to a low snarl I didn't think I was able of producing, "Ash, don't let that man touch me."

"Alright, someone's a little cranky." Ash looked up at James, Jessie, and Meowth. "Let me explain. Misty doesn't like being touched by, uh, anything, at all. Usually she smacks everything that tries to touch her for no valid reason. A valid reason being, uh, something along the lines of impending doom. Anyway, whenever she gets hurt she gets even crabbier than she usually is. She's not going to let you touch her. Is there anything you could do to help without touching her."

"No. The leg has to be reset," James shook his head. "It'll be over fast. We just yank it back into place and then we can splint it."

"And you really no how to do this?"

"How do you think we recovered from all those landings? Every Team Rocket squad has a nurse!" He said proudly. For a second I was terrified he would suddenly appear in a Nurse Joy costume. He always dressed up. Sometimes it was frightening. But no, he just pulled out a splint and wrapping and all that junk.

"I'm not letting him touch me!" I screamed. "I'd rather have the bum leg for the rest of my life. I don't care what you say. You. Don't. Touch. Me."

"What if I said he was gay and had absolutely no interest in your feminine body?" Ash tried. I gave a pathetic swipe at his head and yelped when my leg moved again. "Misty, just let them reset your leg. It'll only hurt for a second."

"Yeah, like I haven't heard that one before!" I retorted. "I won't and you can't make me! I hate you and I hate that hill and that stupid rock and my stupid leg and Jessie and James and Meowth and Pikachu and my sisters and everything!"

"I have an idea," Ash said. "I'm going to distract her and then you can yank her leg back into place." I shifted nervously and began frantically asking Ash what he was planning. He didn't answer me. I started screaming something along the lines of 'you're my bitch, answer me!' Meowth and Jessie stared at me. I would've too.

"How will we know when you're distracting her?"

"You'll know," Ash deadpanned.

"I don't like where this is going," I said cautiously.

"Calm down, Misty. I'm not going to rape you."

"Prove it!" I shouted.

Then he did. He kissed me. My thoughts were as follows: _He's kissing me! That no good son of a gun is kissing me and he's…wow, that's nice. How'd he get his lips so soft? Holy crap! _I pulled back with a shriek when James yanked the bone back into place and started wrapping it. "That hurts, oh Ho-Oh, oh, oh," I moaned and ground my teeth. "I'm going to kill someone. Six years, six mewdamned years and never one injury."

"It wasn't that bad, was it?" Ash said, rubbing my arm.

"Betrayer," I hissed up at him. "Thank you, James, for fixing my leg. Thank you Jessie and Meowth for not, I don't know, killing me."

"No problem twerps. We were just planning on dropping by to say hi anyway. We're on vacation," Meowth said. (A/N: I can't do his voice, still. Sorry.) We exchanged pleasantries and off they went. That's all it took to get rid of them. Who knew?

"Did you like it?" Ash teased, helping me to my feet.

"No! It was disgusting."

"You weren't complaining a second ago," He snickered. "You were impressed? I'm a great kisser."

"You are not! I was just confused from the pain. I'm much better now and if you even thought of kissing me I'd…I'd slap you!" I crossed my arms over my chest and looked away .So what does he do? He spin me around and kisses me again.

I'll slap him next time, though, really, I swear!

* * *

IMPORTANT: Erm, before you go…who would kill me if this went on Hiatus while I tried to finish my plot fic? 


	27. AM Puberty

I'm back! Hey, I've been gone a while. Well, I've been going through a lot, but I'm trying. I got up quite a few chapters of my plot fic, so yay me! Well, you just want the story, so here ya go. There should be a **CONTESTSHIPPING ONE IN A WEEK.**

**(blah) Ash's words in parentheses. Not mine.

* * *

**

**AAML**

"Ash, why won't you talk to us, sweetheart?" My mother asked me with a smile. "You know we're all here for you. We're not here to judge you. Just tell us everything that happened, hon. You're really worrying us."

"It's starting to get annoying, Ash!" Gary growled. "Could you just open up your fat mouth and answer us?"

I'm not going to talk. They all have that same stupid idea in their heads that I'm going to open me mouth and speak. It's not going to happen. I don't care how much that freaking electric rat of mine electrocutes me. I'm angry, I'm cranky, I'm embarrassed, and you're not getting a freaking word out of me. If you can't figure out why, don't feel bad, you're not alone. Nobody here can figure it out either.

I'm fifteen. It's not like I didn't have it coming. I grew about two feet taller, making me almost Brock's height, which rocks, by the way. I had to actually start washing my face every day to keep acne off. I figured out that girls are actually really, really nice to look at. Now I get why Brock went insane whenever a girl walked by. The biggest change that all the girls have noticed is that I don't seem to want to hang out with them anymore, especially for swimming. They love bikinis almost as much as Brock!

At least I'm nothing like Brock with girls, thank goodness. I don't run up to every girl I see and declare undying love. Wouldn't that be embarrassing? I'm perfectly normal around girls. I'll fight them, I battle them, I'll yell at them, whatever they want as long as they act normal too. But some of them are weird. Some of them are looking at me a lot and give that weird smile and they touch my arm a lot and talk really nice to me. If that happens, I start freaking out and get really red. After that, I black out. Brock says I shout something about "I think I hear my girlfriend calling" and run. I tend to wake up in trees, under tables, and other strange places.

This is a deadly advantage for Misty.

A very deadly advantage.

She likes to get me flustered. She's really good at that. You know, she's practically flat and almost always in loose shirts. I don't know how she does it. Of course, she's still wearing those freaking shorts! Doesn't she wear anything but shorts? Ugh, it's as bad as the stupid mini-skirts in malls!

Anyway, Misty gets me flustered, and then when I'm about to run away, she grabs me. Then, she keeps me there until I bed for some kind of mercy, which lasts about two seconds. After that, I'm free. That's really good for me at the end. I run fast whenever she lets go. It keeps me in shape.

"Come on, Ash. Talk," Dawn probed. I shook my head wildly. "Why not? Did you lose your voice, Ash? We've got medicine for that. It's the good tasting kind too, not the junk my mom gives me. Brock can make anything taste good!" I shook my head just as hard as before. "Then what is it!"

"Ash, what's wrong?" Brock asked. Mew, the whole gang was there. Even my mom, Prof. Oak, and Gary are sitting at the table. "Are you mad at us? Did we do something to you?" I shook my head with a smirk. Misty wasn't there. We weren't really sure where she was at the moment. I don't want to know.

She got hit by a hypnosis attack. Since then, she's been running around in black leather with a Nerf gun singing the theme songs to "Mission Impossible", "James Bond", "007" and, of course, "The Pink Panther". We sent Sabrina after her. I mean, it was funny when it started. It was hilarious when it started. Then she started kicking us and hitting us guys in the privates with Nerf foam darts. She somehow figured out how to make an operational bomb and wanted to blow up a carrot patch or something. That was when we decided we needed to wake her up.

Sabrina said she'd do it, don't bother trying to help. She could start killing us if this continued. So, we decided she could handle it. I mean, do you want to go after a psychopath? No. She could kill me. "Are you worried about Misty?" Mom asked, touching my hand comfortingly. I snorted and shook my head with a grin.

"_Ash, would you like me to help you with anything?_" Pikachu asked. I mimed writing, and she rushed off. It was a second later that she came back with a writing pad and paper. "_There you go, Ash. Have fun with that?_"

"I'm not worried for Misty. If I'm worried, it's for the people she's going to attack. Stop guessing. If you don't know it by now, you'll never get it," I wrote. I have good handwriting. Not as good as _May's _but it's still nice. It's better than Misty's. Her handwriting is barely legible, let alone pretty.

Misty burst through the door in her old clothes, shorts and a yellow shirt. She threw her arms around the closest person available. Me. "Hey, Ash, guess what I learned today?" I eyes her nervously. "I have the strength to break a grown man's arm. Also, leather is tight, sweaty, and doesn't breathe. Now I know why that went out of style. It must've been unbearable to have on all day."

"Ash isn't talking."

"Say nothing if you're gay," She grinned wickedly. I was quiet, glaring up at her while my fingers drummed on the table. "Hey, I always knew it! So, who's your lover? I've always been a fan of you and Gary."

"I didn't say 'nothing'. I was silent," I wrote.

"You're such a smart ass today!" She paused and looked at Max. "Oh, sorry Max. Pretend I didn't just say that." She turned back to me and crossed her arms over her chest, releasing me from her death grip. "Fine, stay silent if you're gay," she shot back. I was smart that day, and coughed loudly. She groaned. "Why aren't you talking, fatty, fatty two by four, too fat to fit through the kitchen door?" I glared. "Wow, that usually gets you to talk. This must be something really bad. What's up with you?"

"There's nothing wrong," I wrote, underlined, capitalized and bubble lettered. I threw in five exclamation points too. "Stop asking, I'm fine, really. I'm emotionally safe. In fact, I'm cheerful. Stop asking."

"Oh!" She gasped delightedly. "So you're finally a guy! I knew it! It's about time, Mr. Pokémon Master! Puberty took its sweet time to get to you, but it's taking its toll just like it did on the rest of us, huh?"

"What do you mean?" May asked, biting her lip. The others looked just as baffled. If only it could have been that way forever. Misty just had to open her big mouth though. She loves hearing herself talk.

"Well, duh," She scoffed. "Ash finally hit puberty and now his voi-oof!" I elbowed her in the ribs to quiet her. "That _hurt _dammit," she moaned. She doubled over and clutched her stomach. "Now you've got it coming."

"Okay, I've been working really hard to keep this a secret. Could you not screw this up for me? I've been winning!" I wrote.

"Oh, really? I should help you! Did you ever help me?" She shouted.

"Huh?" I wrote.

"Two years ago!" She snapped. "When I first learned what cramps were, you were so sympathetic to me!" I winced. That was true. I wasn't exactly Mr. Compassion. "You made fun of me! As I recall, you said "puberty's a bitch, right Misty?" then ran off laughing! Why should I be nice to you?"

"I'm cute?" I scribbled.

"Cute my butt,:" She snapped. She grabbed my arm and twisted it hard behind my back. "Oh, I'm pulling this stupid thing right out of its socket! I swear by all that is good I will hurt you so bad you'll cry!"

'Ironic thing to swear by,' I thought rebelliously. She just had to take the right arm, didn't she? The one I write with. That's like taking Helen Keller's hands together. That's how they punished her for misbehaving. She yanked it harder and made me grunt in surprise and pain. I glared up at her, clearly asking "what the hell was that for?"

"I know you were thinking something bad. You always are," she smirked. "Guys, Ash's voice is changing. He doesn't talk because he's embarrassed." I blushed and twist to twist away from my captor. She slammed me hard into the table (my mom didn't seem to care) and lazily sipped at a water glass on the table. I writhed. "Down, boy. We've got a lot more time to waste embarrassing you."

"That's all?" Tracey asked.

"Why would he be embarrassed about that?" Gary snorted. "So you voice cracks once in a while. What's the big deal? It's not like I didn't go through it. Max is going to go through it too. Why do you think we care so much?"

"His voice probably cracks really badly. Does it, Ash darling? Why don't you ask me to let you go? If you ask nicely, I'll let you run like usual," Misty snickered. She dug her nails into my arm a bit trying to get me to yelp.

"Leggo," I whispered to low to hear.

"Leggo is not a word, Ash," She said. Maybe her hearing was better than previously thought. I'm on a roll with words today! Yeah, I've got a dictionary next to me, so what? "Also, I couldn't hear you. Could you speak louder?"

"Deaf," I hissed.

"Sorry, I can't hear you. I must be going _deaf_ or something." I managed to grab the pen and paper and scribble a surprisingly readable sentence with my left hand. She leaned over my shoulder to read it. "If you let me up, I'll talk. I promise and you've got it in writing. It's not my fault I can only write with my left hand right now."

"You can read that?" Brock asked.

'Please, of course she can. She reads her own handwriting, and that's way worse than me writing with my left hand. We can't even send letters anymore. It's impossible to tell if she's writing or sending a coded message. She sent e-mails instead. At least then I could respond without asking her what she just wrote.'

"Yeah, I'm pretty good with handwriting," I snorted. She yanked my arm again. "Fine, Ash You've got a deal. But you better say it loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. A deal it a deal." She released me.

I stood and fixed myself for a while, eyeing her hair band. I figured if I took that blue beauty out of her hair she'd get pretty mad. Maybe she'd leave me alone, though. She did hate to have her hair down. Something about it getting in her face. So, I snatched it. "That's mine!" I shouted, glad my voice didn't crack too badly on the words. If I was ever going to try for a sentence, however, I'd be screwed.

"Ash!" She shouted. "I just ran around for three days in the hot sun in a leather suit! You do not want to make me angry right now!" Looking back, sticking my tongue out and racing out the door was probably not the most effective course of action. In fact, it was probably the worst thing I could've done in that situation. Oh well, accidents happen, right? As long as I learned from my mistakes, what's the harm?

I _did _manage to make it to the Viridian Forest before I was tackled and sent rolling around in the leaves and grass. Usually the win/lose rate for me is 1/999. I'm usually the one who ends up with her nails digging into my back while she uses pain to make me eat dirt and lots of other objects I don't know about.

Before you ask, this time wasn't any different. Except, I managed to keep my face up. Instead of the painful, gross clay in my mouth, I was in pain, awkward and slightly pleased with my position. If nothing else, it was a delight to see Misty blush when she snatched back the band and swept it into her hair.

She looked very uncomfortable, but cleared her throat and shifted on top of me. I swallowed, that was uncomfortable. Why did she have to sit on top of me? She already knew I had hit puberty, and that really wasn't helping my case. Where was Pikachu when I needed her, huh? She had to try and make me uncomfortable.

"Well, talk Ash. We had a deal," she snapped. I let you up, now you've got to say something, now say something interesting!" If she hadn't had me pinned the way she did, I probably could've jumper cabled her off. Just poked her sides until she bounced off of me. But no, she just sat there all proud of herself.

She was pretty, kinda. Just a little, though. Not very pretty. She needed a hair cut, I guess. When it was down it had fallen a little past her shoulders. Now that it was back up it jut fell down. it couldn't stay spiked up like it used to. She hated that, even though it did look nice. Her hair was covered with leaves too. Her face and clothes, like mine, we streaking with mud and who knew what else. I didn't. I really didn't want to know. But the thing was, she just looked like Misty.

It's just that, well, Misty never looked pretty before.

"Sorry I took your hair tie," I blushed. My voice cracked in that sentence. Actually, it cracked twice. She burst into a giggling fit. "What? Do you think that puberty is funny! This is something every boy goes through, Misty. You shouldn't be laughing at me. That's just mean." My voice dropped low this time, the tone it would supposedly be when all the leaping stopped. Well, the cracking didn't stop that fast, but Misty's giggling did. Her eyes widened. "What are you so surprised about?"

"Your voice went low?" She blinked. "It was really…" she swallowed and blushed, forcing herself to recover.

"It was really what?"

"You sounded like a guy for once in your life," She giggled at me. The surprised, dazed look vanished from her face. "Maybe when this is all over you won't be able to dress up like Ashley anymore!"

"I always sound like a guy!" I snapped. My voice cracked high this time. She grinned knowingly. "Okay, that doesn't count. My voice is changing, Misty. It's bad enough without you making fun of me."

"You made fun of me."

"You were in pain," I said pointedly. "I thought laughter might help you feel better. Laughing when someone's embarrassed never makes you feel better about yourself. It makes you want to crawl in a hole and die.

"Ash, that's a nice thought, but it's really a bad thing to do. That's the biggest difference between girls and guys! How they want to be treated when they're in pain! Guys usually shrug it off. Girls usually want you to feel bad for us because we feel crappy. We're psychotic, Ash. Last week Daisy and I burned a bunch of feminine supply products, four boxes and pads and seven boxes of tampons, because of the motto on the back!" She paused and narrowed her eyes. "Happy period, my ass."

"Sorry, Misty. I didn't know," I defended. "I meant well!" She muttered something along the lines of 'well, you should've fatty' and turned her head away from me. "Er, Misty, just wondering, could I get up now?"

"No," She said brightly. She leaned back but kept me pinned, giving me more room to breathe. "But I'll get off your chest a bit. Aren't I the sweetest, kindest girl you've ever met, Ash?"

"No," I snorted.

"Hey!"

"Well, it's true. I'm still embarrassed and now I'm bruised. Look at me! I just know that my cheek is turning that gross yellow green color." Of course, I really couldn't. It didn't matter because I wasn't actually hurt. It I was, I couldn't feel it. Having a girl sitting on my chest was distracting me from any pain I might've felt before. Seem, hormones do have their advantages sometimes. Yay hormones! Then she shifted and I felt kind of tingly which made me hate those damned hormones again. That made me realize hormones were the reason I was an emotional train wreck and hated them even more. Basically, hormones suck. Why do we even have them?

"You can't see your cheek!"

"Can't too," I smirked.

"Well, what do you want me to do about it then?" Her eyes were narrowed, but she still looked playful. "Do you need me to run home and get your mommy to kiss it better for you? I can do that for the big baby."

"No, you don't have to do that! That's why I have you around!"

"Ash!" She gasped, blushing. "You're such a pervert!"

"What's the matter? Are you scared to kiss me?" I smirked. Now I'm going to say everything that happened next was completely and totally my idea. I knew what she would do, oh yeah, sure I did. I wasn't just being a smart ass, it was all part of an elaborate plan to escape. Do you believe me? I wouldn't.

"I'm not scared!" She shouted, holding up her fists defensively. That was my signal (all part of my plan) to quickly scramble out from under her and pin her to the ground instead. "Hey! Ash! You get off of me right now, Ketchum! I'm going to call Officer Jenny and charge you with rape and watch you get the death sentence!"

"You shouldn't use that term loosely," I said. My voice surprised me again. It decided that it liked being low, not that I was complaining. My mom always did say I had a deep voice like my father's. I never thought it'd actually be deeper than Brock's! Well, maybe not deeper, but at least as deep.

"I'm not using it loosely!" She shouted.

"I haven't raped you!"

"Rape is any unwanted touch," she retorted.

"Yes, but don't you want me to touch you?" I said wickedly. What was even more shocking (hey, I finally said that without it being a pun!) was how Misty reacted to it. She just blushed really, really badly. It wasn't the little kid fits she used to have. This was the bridge of her nose to the very tips of her ears completely and totally scarlet blush. She was breathing fast, her eyes were wide. This time she actually did look scared. She couldn't have thought I'd actually rape her? She licked dry lips and looked at anything but me, mostly a gray rock a few feet away. She was probably wondering if she could mange to reach it form her spot and beat me to death.

I tried to remember when the last time was that I had finally managed to pin her down. It probably wasn't since we were ten. I decided that since my new, suave deep voice seemed to get her flustered, maybe I could use this to my advantage. You know what I mean, have some fun before it cracked again.

"Boy, is your face red," I grinned. I leaned forward, putting more weight on her hands to keep her from sitting up. This also got me really, really close to her ear. "How come you're blushing so bad, Mist?"

"Shove off, Ash," She muttered, not looking up at me. "You finally won, are you happy now? I'm still better at this than you. You're usually that one that gets pinned. You're weak, I'm strong, that's the way it works. Next time I'll win, just like usual. Let me up and let it go!" She stuck her tongue out at me.

"You really like to climb on top of me, don't you?" I whispered with a chuckle. She shivered. She actually shivered! Thank goodness she wasn't looking up, or I would've completely lost it. I was red, fighting back giggles, but the expression on her face was priceless. It wasn't very nice, but it was her turn to feel awkward and uncomfortable. Hey, when it comes to revenge either one of us would do anything, no matter how compromising it looked. And, wow, did this ever look bad.

"Ha ha, Ash. You made your first sexual innuendo. Aren't you just so clever?" She muttered. "Never mind that I've been making them since before I met you. Would you please get off of me now?"

"Why won't you look at me, Misty?" I asked. "Do I offend you? Am I really that ugly that you can't look at me? Or maybe it's something else. What is it Misty? Tell me why," I insisted. This was just too good.

"Because!"

"Because why?"

"Just because!" She screamed. "Shut up and get off before I call for Officer Jenny! They can hear everything you know! All it takes is for me to raise my voice a little louder and they'll all come running! I've got a voice that carries!"

I dropped my voice down as low as it could go. It felt weird, like it shouldn't go that far down, but could. It made my cheeks heat too. "Is it because you find this voice sexy?" I laughed. It was deep, but comfortable. Yeah, I could've gotten used to that voice. It sounded very cool. Her breath stopped. "You do?"

"No! Ash Ketchum and sexy!" She snorted loudly. "Ash Ketchum and sexy don't even belong in the same…" she looked up at me, taking breaths so slow and deep the were pushing me up and down. "…sentence." She gasped and licked her lips again. It was almost as if she was starstruck. She closed and opened her eyes, the look disappearing instantly. "So, get off of me, Ash. You're too fat."

"You know you want me," I laughed again. She looked very uncomfortable as she tried to wriggled out from under me. It was a strange mixture of surprise and delight when she couldn't. Maybe I was stronger than I thought.

"As if! You make my stomach turn," she said, pulling a face like she smelled something bad. "With you this close to me it's a miracle I'm able to keep my lunch down. Hey, did I even eat lunch in the past few days?"

"Don't try to change the subject. How do you know that nauseous feeling you get isn't just those butterfree in your stomach feeling you get right before some handsome boy kisses you?" I grinned. "After all, we both know you've never been kissed before."

"What?" She gasped.

"Oh, you have been kissed before?"

"Yes!"

"I don't believe you."

"Well I have! How pathetic do you think I am?" She glared. "I've kissed lots of guys before! You haven't kissed a lot of girl though, have you? You only managed to steal a kiss from some legendary turned human!"

"That's good," I sighed with relief. "You'd be so ticked if I stole your first kiss. You'd probably give me a concussion or something the second I let you up. You might even cry. That's why worse than a concussion!"

"What are you talking about?" Misty gasped, her voice cracking with nervousness and embarrassment. "Are you insane?"

"Hey, Misty. Maybe you're going through puberty too," I chuckled. I've never been really all that great with words. In fact, I'm really crappy with words. So I just leaned forward and well…I kissed her. She managed to gasped right before our lips connected. Then she was shaking. She was shaking really badly. I was shaking too. It was as if it was negative seventeen degrees and we were both in our underwear. I pulled back quick and rolled off of her, panting. My heart screamed in pain in my chest. It was beating too hard. My stomach twisted in that way they called butterfree. Sure, butterfree.

…on freaking steroids.

"Ash?" She gasped. She was breathless. That was a very nice voice on her. How could she possibly find my voice sexy when just a gasped could do this to me? I was shivering and she wasn't even that close. I wasn't lookin gat her, and if I know her like I thought I did, she wasn't looking at me either. It was way too embarrassing for either of us to handle. "Ash, did you just-?"

"Yeah," I cute her off quickly. "Don't say kiss. I can say it, but you can't. Let's just talk about it while avoiding the K word or else something very bad will happen. I know what it is, and if I say it, it'll happen. Just don't say kiss."

"Talk about it? Why in hell should we talk about it! We need to keep our eyes off of each other and avoid each other for a week or six or twenty and pretend that this never, ever happened! It didn't happen!" She continued in a softer voice, "Don't look, just walk. We definitely do not need to do this, now or ever."

Eh, I never listen to her. Well, I listen, I just don't care about what she's saying if she's saying something I don't like. If she says don't look at her, I'm going to look at her. She still doesn't seem to get that. I looked at her and felt my head spin. She was looking with her face tilted a bit away from me. I could barely see her lips, should've taken a magnifying glass to see them at this angle. I saw them though, and I crawled closer to her. "But I want to talk about it. That just totally changed our lives!"

"That did not just change our lives!" She gasped. Her hands snapped to her lap and wrung there nervously. "it was an accident, a horrible, horrible accident that wasn't important to any of us. Not life changing at all."

"Changed mine," I said simply.

"You're so witty today, aren't you?" She smirked. She had to move those lips of hers, didn't she? It made my mouth go dry. "How many smart things have you said? Maybe you've been hanging out with Gary too much. He's starting to wear off on you." She turned her head and froze, our faces very close. "When the hell did you get over here? What happened to no looking at each other?"

"Hey, Mist," I smiled. Her eyes flicked down to my lips. Her face blushed and she looked back into my eyes. "With that look on your face I can only imagine what you're thinking about," I said triumphantly. My voice was cracking high again. She smiled at that. Oh, that twist of her lips was torturous. "Hey, Misty? I was wondering about something. And I really want to ask but I'm afraid that…"

"Go on"

"Would you hate me if I kissed you again? I really, really want to kiss you again." I swallowed a nervous lump in my throat. I wanted to tackle her into the ground and kiss her so badly. If she said that word, I didn't know what I would do. It would probably be something I'd get in a lot of trouble for.

"Kiss me?" She asked. Maybe she would've said no. Maybe she would've said yes. There's really no way to know because I answered it for her. I leaned forward as fast as she could and kissed her again.

I'm not really sure what I did at first. I just pushed on her lips really hard, not really knowing how the kissing stuff worked. Then she gently pushed back, her hand slowly coming to rest on my knee. We pulled away. "What do we do after that?" I asked breathlessly. "You're the expert her. What did you do?"

"I don't know," she whispered. It was almost as if she was afraid to wreck the quiet. "I mean, I know what's at the end of a relationship," we flushed, "but I've never kissed more than what we just did. I've asked people about it, but no one will tell me. Some people laugh. My sisters just get red and run away."

"So…should we jut go with it?" I swallowed. She nodded weakly and we tried again. We pressed and then…then our lips started moving. It was strange, but really nice. It was tingly, y'know? We pulled each other closer and pushed even harder. Suddenly, my body did something I didn't know it was capable of thinking of. My tongue went it her mouth and back out really fast. Mist made this strange, strangled, almost moaning kind of noise and we pulled back again, her beat red. "What was that?"

"I don't know!" She said, ducking her head away.

"What do you mean you don't know? You made the sound didn't you?" I gasped. "You were the one who had to do that weird noise. Why did you do that? Don't you know? There's got to be some reason! You've always got a reason for shooting your big mouth off!"

"Why did you shove your tongue in my mouth?" She challenged back, thinking she had won. No, I had an answer for everything today.

"Because I thought I was supposed to! My body just did it, I didn't ask it to! I was just going with it, like I said we were going to do! So hurry up and make up an answer as to why you… you did whatever you did!"

"I don't know. I guess you must've done something right. I'm all shivery. I've got goose bumps all over and that _sound_ I made." She bit her lip self-consciously. "It didn't exactly sound unhappy."

We cooled down for a minute, then I began to giggle. "You moaned!" I said with a giggle. "I can't believe I made you moan!"

"I know!" She yelped. "I can't believe I did that! It felt so…so good though, Ash! It was different but really, really nice." She was almost moaning again, closing her eyes and apparently remembering the sensation. "Mew, this is really scary. I don't even know why we're doing this. Aren't you scared?"

"No. Why should I be? Why are you scared?" I asked. "Is it because you liked it?"

"Yeah, and because I really want to do it again. It's not just that, I _need _to. It's like it's addictive. I mean…" she made a frustrated sound and tackled me. Her covered her lips with mine and shoved her tongues down my throat in a tingly, electrifying way. I gave a noise a lot like hers. "See what I mean?" She smirked, pulling back.

"No more interruptions," I said, yanking her close and continuing to move our lips again. Kissing was starting to get more fun than I ever imagined.

I was too afraid to do anything but keep my hands on her knees, completely still. Her hands found their way under my shirt, timidly gripping and releasing the flesh she found. It took a minute to realize she was trying not to hurt me. I grabbed her hands and made them dig into my skin as a hint. That's when she bit me. It was soft at first, on y bottom lip. Then she made her way down to my neck, kissing, and bit down hard. I gasped. This was a weird feeling. Pain and pleasure swirled together in a way that made my eyes shoot open. "Damn, are you a vampire or something?"

"I should stop," she said, pulling back and reddening.

"No, I was just kidding. That felt good," I gasped, sitting up and sending her tumbling off of me. "Can we try that again? Just kiss and bite and all that kind of stuff."

"No! Ash, we're going to leave marks!" She flushed. "Everyone's going to know what we were doing! They'll see the bruises!"

"I'll say I fell," I begged, my voice had settled into it's original tone. "_Please, _Misty?" I laid down next to her and kissed her neck lightly. Her breath caught when I gave a playful nip on her collar bone.

"No," she said, not really sounding like she meant it. "We can't do this, Ash. Everyone will see? How are you going to explain obvious bit marks? They look a lot different then falling down bruises. 'Oh, I was just playing with Ash and I bit him.' Nothing weird there! Nobody will ever question that logic!" She shouted, sitting up.

"You have cover up, don't you?"

"Cover up?"

"Yeah, cover up. Just use a whole bunch of make up and wear turtlenecks or something. I'm going away to a chilly region. I can wear a scarf. No one'll ever know." I sat up and tugged her ear with her teeth. "Let's play, Misty."

"You're getting good at those words. You should stop listening to Brock so much."

"Can I try something?" I asked. "It won't leave a mark, I swear." She sighed and nodded. I brought her close and kissed her, making sure she was occupied while one hand sneaked under her shirt. I unsnapped her bra easily, giggling when Misty fell away from me, screaming my name in surprise.

"Are you insane!" She snapped, fumbling to fix her bra and get the clasps behind her back. "You're such a guy! Why'd you go and do that?"

I shrugged. "You've got my old hat. Can't I have a souvenir?"

Yeah, yeah. She hit me in the hed with a mallet. But it was worth it, especially since I've got a reminder of her in the bottom of my backpack, which just so happens to be pink with yellow flowers on it.

The blackmail is incredible.

* * *

Yeah, uh, I saw this one comic on the internet of Misty complaining about the bike Ash owed her, so he gave her the hat to make up for it. That spawned this idea so…er, yeah. Review and, well, it'd be nice if you did. I'm almost at two hundred! Oh my goodness golly goshes, this is totally awesome! 


	28. DM Poetry

I write typically ABCB pattern or a ABAC pattern. This is a bit annoying for me, because I wanted a theme. It's technically ABAB, but…nyeh. Whatever. Here, I wrote a poem in twenty minutes. Yay.

* * *

Breathe in, breathe out.  
Oh, Mew, time's coming.  
Breathe in, Breathe out.  
Ho-oh, my heart is drumming!

Breathe in, breathe out.  
Please, don't make me go out there!  
Breathe in, Breathe out.  
And now, damn _Drew_ starts to stre!

"Breathe in, breathe out,"  
Drew says calmly in my ear.  
"Breathe in, breathe out?"  
I scoff and sneer.

Breathe in, breathe out.  
"Sorry about that just then,"  
Breathe in, breathe out.  
"I'll just close my eyes and count to ten."

Breathe In, breathe out.  
"What are you so frightened for?"  
Breathe in, breathe out.  
"You've had to have done this before!"

Breathe in, breathe out.  
"No, smartass, I haven't yet."  
Breathe in, breathe out.  
"You have though, lots I bet."

Breathe in, breathe out.  
"You know, you're getting on my nerves."  
Breathe in, breathe out.  
"Where are my adrenaline reserves?"

Breathe in, breathe out.  
"So you've never got a prize before?"  
Breathe in, breathe out.  
"No," I say, a little sore.

Breathe in, breathe out.  
"You're kidding, really, I presume."  
Breathe in, breathe out.  
"Hey, could you two get a room?"

Breathe in, breathe out.  
"Harley, would you go away?"  
Breathe in, breathe out.  
"I'm not in a mood for this today!"

Breathe in, breathe out.  
"Why is it always me your after?"  
Breathe in, breathe out.  
Drew's close now, my heart beats faster.

Breathe in, breathe out.  
"Could you get your hand, uh, off my shoulder?"  
Breathe in, breathe out.  
Harley's glare begins to smolder.

Breathe in, breathe out.  
"Aw, look at these little lovebirds here!"  
Breathe in, breathe out.  
"It's so cute I'll shed a tear!"

Good in, bad out.  
"Keep that stupid temper down,"  
Good in, bad out.  
"Remember what happened in that other town."

Good in, bad out.  
"What exactly happened there?"  
Good in, bad out.  
"Nothing important, you wouldn't care."

Good in, bad out.  
"Oh, what are the lovers talking about?"  
Good in, bad out.  
"I want to rip his mewdamned throat out."

Good in, bad out.  
"This breathing crap isn't right."  
Good in, bad out.  
"But I can't give in without a fight."

Good in, bad out.  
"Oh, no! It's happening again!"  
Good in, bad out.  
"The last time this happened was at Titanic's end!"

Good in, bad out.  
Mew, that movie was SO sad.  
Good in, bad out.  
It also made me kind of mad.

Good in, bad out.  
"I'm really scared to go on stage,"  
Good in, bad out.  
Unleash the tiger in its cage!

Good in, bad out.  
"I've also got a crazy temper,"  
Good in, bad out.  
"I almost killed Charlie Tremper!"(1)

Good in, bad out.  
"What the heck is up with her?"  
Good in, bad out.  
"Temporary insanity, attacked our neighbor."

Good in, bad out.  
"How can you say that so calm?"  
Good in, bad out.  
"Eh, we've gotten used to it. Ask my mom."

Good in, bad out.  
"May tried to kill a boy?"  
Good in, bad out.  
"Yeah, and I sat by munching on an Almond Joy!"

Good in, bad out.  
"Is your family all completely mental?"  
Good in, bad out.  
"Hey, Drew! Don't be so judgemental."

Good in, bad out.  
"Don't judge? May's going nuts!"  
Good in, bad out.  
"Well, it's better than her being a klutz."(2)

Good in, bad out.  
"You all shut up before I'm gone!"  
Good in, bad out.  
"Never happen again…therapist is always wrong."

Don't scream, don't shout.  
"I'm doing really bad under stress!"  
Don't scream, don't shout.  
"Ho-oh, this is all a mess!"

Don't scream, don't shout.  
"This is all because of some dumb award!"  
Don't scream, don't shout.  
"…Yeah, and last time she had a sword!"

Don't scream, don't shout.  
"Max, you're not supposed to tell people that!"  
Don't scream, don't shout.  
"How about the time you shaved the cat?"

Don't scream, don't shout.  
"Do not kill your little brother,"  
Don't scream, don't shout.  
"Even if he's such a little…sucker!"(3)

Don't scream, don't shout.  
"So, by tomorrow I'll be dead."  
Don't scream, don't shout.  
"Wonder if it'll be by poison or a gun to my head?"

Don't scream, don't shout.  
"Do you all think this is freaking funny?"  
Don't scream, don't shout.  
"Nah, this poem thing is pretty crummy."

Don't scream, don't shout.  
"Natty, why the hell are you here?"  
Don't scream, don't shout.  
"I heard May-san's screaming, dear."

Don't scream, don't shout.  
"So May's afraid to get a medal?"  
Don't scream, don't shout.  
"I want out of here, pedal to the metal!"

Don't run, don't go.  
"The drama queen'll steal the show!"  
Don't run, don't go.  
"If you're talking 'bout the purple hair, I _know._"

Don't run, don't go.  
"Did you just insult my hair, you bitch?"  
Don't run, don't go.  
"Yeah, what'll you do about it, tomboy witch?"

Don't run, don't go.  
"Natty's got a pokéball,"  
Just…run, just go!  
"Bet she can't use it at all."

Just run, just go.  
"Guys, I think May's leaving!"  
Just run, just go.  
"She's…Mew! I hope you all stop breathing!"

Just run, just go.  
"May, come on, I can't catch you!"  
Just run, just go.  
"What? Now you're a runner too?"

Just run, just go.  
"Will you leave me the hell alone?"  
Just run, just go.  
"No! Come on, let's get you home!"

Just run, just go.  
"I'm not going away with you!"  
Just run, just go.  
"Keep chasing me, I'm gonna sue!"

Just run, just go.  
"I swear, May, I'll get you down!"  
Just run, just go.  
And then I'm laying there on the ground.

Can't run, sit still.  
"Hello, May, nice to see your face again."  
Can't run, sit still.  
"Can we get home before it starts to rain?"

Can't run, sit still.  
"You do remember that I hate you?"  
Can't run, sit still.  
"Aw, Red Rose, I love you too."

Can't run, sit still.  
"So kiss me you romantic fool."  
Can't run, sit still.  
"…So you use your boyfriend as a lustful tool?"

Can't run, sit still.  
"So isn't this when you propose?"  
Can't run, sit still.  
"For that, I'd need a ring, or maybe a rose."

And when he gets up off of me,  
My blurred, dim eyes begin to see,  
In his hands, a deep red rose,  
And in a fitting way to end this prose.

He slips a ring off of the stem,  
"Now that we've gotten away from them,  
Marry me, my love so femme?"  
And then, _my_ Drew kisses me again.

* * *

(1) That's actually a common surname.  
(2) I really freaking pushed that rhyme. Too many syllables.  
(3) Y'all thought Natty was gonna be naughty, didn't you? Shame, shame, shame on your dirty minds.

Well, this went places I never thought it would go.

If you didn't like it, don't blame me.  
I've got no control over my poetry!  
Oh, dear Mew! I don't think I can stop!  
Orange, purple, sassafrass!

Oh look, I stopped. How easy. Review, tell me what you think about poetry.


	29. AM Secrets, Secrets Are No Fun

* * *

Over two hundred reviews. Oh. My. Freaking. Golly. Goshes! No freaking way! You ALL ROCK! Power to y'all!

* * *

**Five Things I Regret Telling Ash Ketchum, and the One Thing I Don't...**

1. I have to volunteer as a Candy Striper at my local hospital.

"_Oh, sugar! Oh honey, honey! You are my Candy Girl and you've got me watching you!_" Ash sang sweetly. I glared at him, grinding my teeth in the lobby of the hospital. There I was, all decked out in my Candy Striper uniform, and he was mocking me. It sucked. I thought I could trust him to be responsible and kind and charitable in this time of misfortune (I really hate the irritable sick people I have to work with) but no! He has to be a jerk!

"Will you shut up?" I screamed.

"_When I kissed you, girl, I knew how sweet a kiss could be, like the summer sunshine pour your sweetness over me! Sugar, pour a little sugar on it honey, Pour a little sugar on it baby! I'm gonna make your life so sweet, yeah, yeah, yeah! Pour a little sugar on it oh yeah Pour a little sugar on it honey,"_ He continued. I wrung my hands in my hair and screamed with anger. He just had to know the whole song didn't he?

"Stop singing that song!"

"Aw, come on Misty! It's hilarious!" He giggled helplessly. "I mean, you're a Candy Striper! It was one thing when we were helping all those pokémon, but you hate what you're doing! You bring food to crabby old people because all the pretty kids got to work in the children's ward! Look at your face, Misty! It's completely priceless! You need a freaking mirror to see that face of yours! It's so funny!"

"At least you stopped singing that song," I muttered, then continued in a louder voice. "Who cares, Ash? It's not freaking funny!"

"Oh, the song?" He grinned. "Back to the chorus! _Oh, sugar! Oh, honey, honey! You are my-_"

"Shut up before I freaking kill you!" I screamed. "I'm in a hospital, Ash. Your odds of surviving are really high! I shouldn't feel that bad about it if we're twenty feet away from the emergency room. Then I'll be your freaking nurse! Just don't…Ash, don't sing that song any more."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay. I won't sing that song any more," Ash grinned. I nodded and sighed with relief.

"Well, I'm going back to work now. I guess I'll see you at the end of my shift?" I asked. Ash smiled sympathetically and nodded. "Uh, would you mind picking me up a hot chocolate before you drop off to pick me up and take me home?" I asked timidly. He nodded again. I smiled thankfully and turned away, walking down the hall a few feet before freezing at the new sound behind me, and screaming with rage once more.

"_I know a girl who's tough but sweet. She's so fine, she can't be beat. She's got everything that I desire. Sets the summer sun on fire. I WANT CANDY! I WANT CANDY!_" He sang, his voice boomed throughout the lobby, and several of the waiting patients began to laugh. Best medicine my ass. That laughter didn't make me feel better. In fact, as the blush stained my cheeks, I only felt fifty times worse.

2. I have problems with math.

"Are you kidding?" Ash began to giggle. "You don't know how to do this problem? Come on, Misty! Even I can figure out this problem and I haven't gone to school since I was nine! Really, when you said you needed help on the homework your sisters gave you I thought you were kidding! It's just a word problem! I mean, really, it's not that funny of a joke," Ash rolled his eyes and looked at me across the table.

"I'm not kidding," I groaned. "I can't figure it out at all!"

"Misty, the joke's getting old. I know you're just trying to mock my brain power with it, but I know how to do this. The answer is fifty six. Putting down fifty four as your answer isn't going to fool me. It's fifty six, and you're not funny. Why don't you just wait until someone sets you up for a joke? Wouldn't that make this whole thing better than wasting an hour of the time I can visit you solving third grade math problems."

"This is second grade work."

"Why, because I can't think at a third grade level?" Ash snorted.

"No, because I was held back in second grade because of all this crap," I snapped. "How did you get fifty six anyway? Did you guess or what? I know there's a method to it but I just can't figure out what. How do you do it?"

"You multiply."

"…" I stared blankly at the paper, then up at his face, back down to the paper. "Huh?"

"Okay, I'll prove to you that I can't solve math problems," Ash scoffed. He scooted his chair closer to mine and took the pencil. "Jane got many cards for the holidays. Deciding to do a trick for her parents, she separated the cards. There were eight piles and seven cards in each pile. How many cards did Jane get in all?" He smoothly wrote:

7  
x  
8  
------  
56

His handwriting was girlish. I didn't comment on it. He was helping me. "Okay, right. Uh, so, how did you know what numbers to multiply and how did you know you were supposed to multiply?" I asked, trying to go along with the game he thought I was playing with him.

"They're the only numbers in the problem, Misty."

"How did you know that you were supposed to multiply?"

"Well, I know how to sole math problems and the title of your page says "Multiplication Word Problems". It really isn't that hard to figure out. I'm not as stupid as you think," he said. We were quiet for a moment before he spoke again. "You seriously can't solve these, can you?"

"No."

"Why'd you guess fifty four?" Ash asked me.

"That's the number of cards in a deck," I shrugged. Ash began to laugh. "What?"

"You retard!" He shouted with glee, guffawing loudly. "You really do suck at math! There's fifty two cards in a deck, you idiot! Fifty four!"

"…hate math."

3. I have a problem with caffeine.

"Three bottles of beer on the wall, three bottles of beer! Take one down pass it around...and everyone's really drunk in the room!" I improvised, on a temporary high from the iced mocha latte Ash had given me, saying it was 'iced hot chocolate'. I slipped dangerously on the table, then fell to my hands and knees. "Okay, I'm kinda tired now. How long have I been with all the sugar and caffeine and energy and junk?"

"Seven hours of non-stop action," Ash beamed. Him and pretty much everyone else we had ever met was having the time of their life watching my little show. "Misty, would you like another mocha latte?"

"I don't know…" I trailed off.

"Oh, come on. It's really good tasting, I swear," Ash held up the whipped creamed, swirled with chocolate, king sized, caramel coated delicious thing. I looked at it, head cocked to the side and obviously tempted.

"When I was little my mom said that I wasn't allowed to have coffee. In fact, I'm not even allowed to have too much chocolate because there's caffeine in that too. I haven't had one of those since I was really, really little. Who knows what it'll do to me?"

"Don't worry, Misty. You'll be fine."

"I don't think I should," I shook my head wildly. "No, I'll do something stupid. I shouldn't. It's probably not healthy for me either. I think I'm just going to find a corner somewhere and go to sleep." My common sense was starting to win out. After all, I knew the biggest rule was to never listen to Ash, my best friend and worst enemy all rolled into one. There was nothing more than he'd want then to embarrass me. The high was disappearing fast, and Ash could tell.

"It's not a mocha latte."

"But you just _said_-"

"I lied, I'm sorry. That was wrong. I shouldn't have lied to you. I just wanted this all to myself. It's an icy hot chocolate. It's really good, try it. I bet I can drink mine faster than you!" He was handed a second one by Brock and my competitive spirit and slight high won over my common sense. Iced hot chocolate. Funny, isn't that what I was told before jumping up and down singing Shania Twain karaoke?

"You're on, Ash! You'll never beat me!"

"I bet I will," he smirked. "Three, two, one." And with that, I drank the entire king sized drink in under thirty seconds, while Ash sipped idly at his. I squealed with delight and began to race around the big room once more, screaming about how I won again. "Yeah, you sure did Misty. I'm such a loser at this. Want to try this little contest again in another seven hours? Maybe I'll get us each even bigger sizes to make it more interesting."

"Ha! Like you'll ever win!"

"Oh, I'm sure I'm winning as we speak," Ash smiled. "Merry Christmas to me and your secrets three. So, Misty, do you know what I'm thinking we should do now?" He asked. I came back in from my half daze, high as a kite once again.

"Sure I do!" I said, shaking from the caffeine and bouncing up and down. "But where are we going to get that much string cheese and a wombat?"

4. I had a crush on my related-but-not friend.

"Damn. Are you kidding me?" Ash blinked. "That guy you were kissing was your cousin?"

"No! That's not it! Well, he was but he wasn't! Mew, Ash! It's complicated, okay? Could you just butt out? This is a weird, strange Waterflower thing. I have a weird family! It's not what you think this is so can't you just leave me alone?" I shouted.

"You're getting it on with your cousin, how can I drop blackmail like this?"

"We're not getting it on!"

"Are too!"  
"Are not!"  
"Are too!"  
"Are not!"

"Fine then, tell me why it's okay."

"See, my aunt married a man who had a kid from a previous marriage. So he was my cousin by marriage! See, there's no blood involved! We're not actually related or anything. I've had a crush on him since I was eight, and, I mean, he likes me too. Last year, my ex-Uncle divorced my aunt. See, so, now he's my ex-cousin. We're not related at all now, by blood or marriage! It doesn't even matter anymore that we were related!"

"No, that still counts."

"Ash!"

"It's disgusting, Misty!"

"Is not!"  
"Is too!"  
"Is not!"  
"Is too!"

"Hold it, hold it!" Brock stormed in and pulled us apart. We both screamed in protest and continued our fight. "Shut up you two! Tell me what's going on. Ash, Misty, who started it this time?" We each shouted that the other one did. "I should've expected that one," he sighed. "Now, both of you. Let's sit down for a minute and calmly explain to good ol' Brock what's going on here. There's never a good reason for you two to fight."

"Misty's trying to convince me that it's okay for her to get it on with her cousin!"

"I'm not 'getting it on' with Benvolio and it's not like he's saying it!" I turned desperately to Brock. "Come on, Brock, you know I wouldn't do that kind of thing! Ash is blowing this all out of proportion. If you'd let me explain you'd understand!"

"You know what, Misty. I get it now. I really do understand what you meant. It's not wrong, it's just cousin lovin', cousin lovin', cousin lovin'!" Ash taunted. I tugged at my hair and dropped to my knees, screaming about how I'll kill him one day.

5. I watch kids shows.

"I'm sorry, what show was that?" Ash asked teasingly. I felt my self redden.

"Uh, nothing," I flushed. "You know what, forget it. This stupid Game of Truths or whatever the hell it's called is getting stupid!" I snapped, blushing. "I'm done with this. Why don't you have any interesting secrets! It's bad enough that Daisy's already put a sugar ban on this place, but now this is happening? Ugh! I wish I had a candy bar, my hands a shaking, look!" I held them up, and sure enough, they were trembling. My attempt to keep Ash from prying didn't work.

"What show was it?"

"No. I'm not telling," I pouted. He glared childishly and held up the 'contract' we signed. "It's not a real contract, you retard!" I shouted furiously. "It's a piece of paper you scribbled on and we signed. Who cares if you're allergic to spinach? That's a crappy secret! Hardly anyone likes spinach anyway! I hate you! I hate you!" He shook the paper. "I watch whatever is on Nickelodeon in the morning. Dora the Explorer, Blues Clues, all of that junk."

"No way."

"You caught me Ash! I'm lying!" I shouted furiously. "I actually don't watch any of those shows. In fact, everything I've told you over the past few weeks have been a lie. It was all an elaborate act to try and get you off my trail! My real secret is that I had plastic surgery, and I'm actually really sexy! In fact, I'm o hot I turn gay men straight and straight women lesbians!" May, at that point, walked in with a smile on her face, changed to one of horror, and walked back out.

"Nice, you scared off May. Congratulations, Miss Sexy Plastic Surgery," Ash smiled. "I can't wait to tell all our friends that you watch those shows. I bet you know the theme songs too. Hey, if I can ever get you hypnotized, guess what you'll be singing?" he began to laugh, and a growl rose up in my throat. The laughter stopped. "Misty, okay, I understand that you're a little angry. Let's…let's be friends. Friends don't hurt one another."

"Friends keep secrets."

"Not necessarily, but friends can start keeping secrets if it keeps friends from killing them," Ash swallowed, beginning to back away nervously. I stepped forward dangerously, about to destroy him. "_Why can't we be friends, why can't we be friends?"_

"Because you, Ash Ketchum, are a no good, dirty, rotten, disgusting, pitiful, scrawny, fat, ugly son of a bitch!" I shouted. "Maybe if you knew how to keep secrets and keep your mouth shut I wouldn't have to kill you!"

"Oh, well, that's a good reason," Ash laughed nervously.

"I'm going to freaking kill you!" I leaped from my spot and tackled him into the ground, beginning to pound at him with fists and legs, praying for some kind of crack of broken bones. That's when Daisy and my sisters and Brock, and the Maple kids and a bunch of other people came in and tried to drag me off of him while I continued to scream, "No! I hate him! Let me go so I can rip his guts out! I can handle jail, I know it!"

I was put in time out for sixteen minutes. I threw a temper tantrum while I was in time out and broke a plate. Professor Oak later explained that my fits, violent even for me, might've been caused by withdrawal caused by Daisy's removal of sugar. Sure enough, when I was handed a chocolate bar, I became my normal, happy self and apologized to Ash. This, if you want to get technical, is another secret Ash holds over my head.

1. Something I Don't Regret

It was quiet. We sat still by a lake in the afternoon glow, standing fully equipped in our snow gear. Ash in jeans, a sweater, and a warm hat, me in a light jacket and shorts. I leaned into him. "I'm so freaking cold out. How about you?"

"I'm warm. Maybe it's because you're in shorts."

"Mmm, that would explain a lot," I agreed quietly. "Hey, Ash. Could I have your hat? Ninety percent of your body heat, or something like that, escapes from your head. Maybe I'll be warmer then," I smiled, not looking at him but the frozen lake.

"Your fiery hair should keep you warm enough," Ash chuckled. It sounded a little nervous. I guess it was because a second later he was brave enough to curl an arm around my waist. "That and your jacket. You _pink_ jacket."

"It's the only jacket I own, Ash," I rolled my eyes. "You can't expect me to go out and buy a jacket when I'm so well adapted to the cold. Today's just a little _too _cold for me and my fiery hair. Besides, I'm a carrot top, really, it's not a red fire color."

"But if I give you my hat, my head will be cold."

"But you have pants and blubber to keep you warm."

"Did you just call me fat?"

"Yeah," I giggled, darting away and scooping up a pile of snow. "So what are you going to do about it, Chosen One?" I tossed it at his head and hit right on the mark. His hat toppled from his head, and Pikachu raced by to grab it and give it to me.

(Merry Christmas,) She giggled, plopping the hat on my head. (I wanted to get you and Ash mistletoe but I was out of luck. I can't find a sprig anywhere in this stupid region. Where does that junk grow, anyway? A factory?)

A snowball collided into the side of my head. "Ash!" I yelped, putting a hand to my frozen ear. "When did your aim get so good? Have you been practicing your snowball throwing techniques while I've been away?"

"You caught me," Ash teased. He threw another snowball, aiming for my bare legs. I yelped. "See, you should've listened to your sisters and put on a pair of shorts, Misty! You just had to be as stubborn as Charizard, didn't you?"

"It's my duty! I've got to remind everyone that they're not the only ones in charge here!" I laughed. I barely noticed Pikachu leaping from my arms when we started an honest snowball fight. Ash continued to aim for my vulnerable legs, and I just chucked three times as many in his direction, every one of them landing perfectly. Half of his missed. Soon we were on the ground, though, the snow melting on our seats and the cold seeping into our bones.

"I haven't had that much fun in a long time," Ash smiled at me and changed the topic. "Did you miss me?"

"Now you know I don't want to answer that," I sighed. "You know the truth, so can't we just accept it and start up the snowball fight. Just because I watch kids shows doesn't mean this is turning into an after school special. Romance should stick to fantasy and books when it comes to my life. That's just where it belongs."

"Come on, Misty. I'll have to start singing again if you don't."

"Ugh, no," I moaned. "Have you heard the way you sing? Pure torture, Ash. Girls scream and run in terror, men pick up their pitchforks, the army grabs their guns, the government grabs their nuclear warheads whenever you try and use that monstrosity you call a voice!"

"Well, we can't all have great singing voices," Ash huffed. He cleared his throat. "_Say you love me every waking moment, turn my head with talk of summertime! Say you need me with you now and always! Promise me that all you say is true! That's all I ask of you!"_

"That's _Christine's _part!" I laughed. "First Ashley, now Christine!" He tackled me into the snow and we wrestled for a while before collapsing in a heap of giggles. "We're too old and to young to act this childish," I shook my head.

"_Please _say you missed me most?"

I sighed. "That's another secret, Ash. I'm not going to have any left soon." He continued to give me puppy dog eyes. My defenses fell a bit, he was so adorable. "Alright, alright, Ash. I missed you more than anyone else."

"I knew it!" He said triumphantly. I laughed at how joyful he was, then we fell quiet. He scrambled next to me and looked down with childish excitement. "Hey, Mist, do you wanna know a secret? It's a Christmas present from me to you."

"Is it my only present?"

"No," he grinned.

"Then yes, I'll hear you secret."

He kissed my cheek and blushed, whispering in my ear. "I missed you most too."

Some secrets are worth sharing.

* * *

No bow chicka wow wow. Just fluff. Sad, isn't it? Well, I'm saving my bow chicka wow wow for another time. I was in a little kid kind of mood, so I wrote them immature, one of my favorite qualities of Ash and Misty.

In case I don't update before the season is over, Happy Holidays.


	30. AMDM More Themes Stories

Well…more themes. I'm trying to get rid of writer's block. So if you like themes. Yay. If you don't, er, sorry 'bout that.

-Does a little dance- Thirty down, twenty to go! Whuh, what! So, I've used country, ghetto, Da Hood, British, and all kinds of different slang on here. Who wants to take a swing at what state I'm from? You'll never guess...it's a crappy state no one cares about.

* * *

**1. THEME: Touch Pairing: AAML Title: Thank You**

Misty wasn't the best with words. Oh, sure, when it came to wit or yelling at someone for doing something stupid, that she was great at. I'd be on the end of that mallet enough to know. The second she tried to be sweet to someone, she seemed to be at a loss. She struggled through, for me, for Brock, once or twice, a mumbled thank you. She's just…she's not very good at it. I don't mind it, though. As long as she tries.

So I gave her a present. I don't know why. It wasn't her birthday or some special occasion. It wasn't a bike. It was something she had said she really, really wanted, but was too embarrassed and scared to buy. A diary. I got the kind with a lock so no one could read it. You're probably thinking that a dollar diary with a two cent lock wouldn't be exactly fool proof. I got her one of those good ones. The one with the fingerprint encoded lock? Yeah. That one. Actually, she burnt her finger during scary story night while we were traveling and it messed up her fingerprint so she can't read it anymore.

That's irrelevant. Sorry.

See, the thing is, she tends to show her gratitude with touch. A quick hand grab, a shoulder squeeze, a hug, in rare cases she'd give a quick peck on the cheek before racing away with a thank you and a blush. I don't need to hear her say thank you. Just a touch it enough.

…And two lips touching as a thank you is the best touch of all.

* * *

**2. THEME: Smirk Pairing: DAML Title: Shoes**

It's irresistible. He gives a cute little turn of his lips and my legs go weak beneath me. It's not a smile. No, most girls like a smile. I find that little confident arrogant smirk to be annoyingly perfect, and annoyingly, well, sexy.

"What are you looking at?" Drew snapped. I jumped and shook my head wildly. I'd gotten lost again. It happens sometimes, when he smirks. I look at his lips and I forget everything. I get all caught up in that romantic daydream I have of him telling me how beautiful I am and how he loves me and then we have a hot make out session. The usual feminine daydream. "May? May! What are you staring at?"

"Er…shoes?" I tried. His eyes widened, obviously surprised. Then it switched to disbelief. "No, really. I was, uh, thinking about shoes. Shoes and dresses, yeah, that's all us girls think about," I laughed nervously.

"…shoes and dresses?" He said, that little smirk appearing on his face again.

"Yep, shoes," I said, my face flushed and my voice squeaked. I pressed myself up against the wall when he took a step closer. That look on his face. It was so…so…ooh and I couldn't tear my eyes off his lips. "Don't believe me?"

"I believe you think about shoes," he chuckled, closer still.

"And dresses," I managed to squeak.

"I just find it hard to believe that you're thinking about shoes while staring at my lips," He said sweetly. His face was an inch away from mine, those lips still stuck in that stupid little smirk. So I did the only thing I could think of to wipe it off his face. I kissed him, and when we broke apart he laughed, "I knew you weren't thinking about shoes."

* * *

**3. THEME: Young Pairing: AAML Title: Age Difference**

Ever since Ash and I have started dating we've gotten a few glares. It's from a few older couples. They come over and talk to us, ask our ages. It'll stop in a few years. Once he finishes growing it'll stop. I know it'll stop. It's go to. I mean, the look on their faces when they find out that I'm older than him…

It's not like there's twenty five years separating us. Just two! Two years! That's it. Why does it matter that I'm older? Huh? I…it's just not fair! Meanwhile, while I'm getting glared at, Miss I'm Eighteen is selling herself to Mr. I'm Seventy Three for two hundred in cash. Where's her glare? I dug my nails into my palm and fought back tears. How come, no matter what I did, I always ended up being wrong?

"Misty?" Ash asked. His arms wrapped around my waist. He pulled me close. "Ignore them, Mist. It's not like they're anything other than a pair of senile old cranks. Senile, that's one you taught me," he chuckled. I stiffened. "What? What now?"

"Listen to what you just said, Ash. I taught you. I'm not your girlfriend! I'm your teacher, aren't I?" I said, my voice cracking. "I'm so sick of this! I'm sick of everyone looking at me like I'm some sort of pedophile! It's not like we haven't gone through all the same things! You're just as world wise as I am! There's no real maturity difference. Well, okay, they're right about that but…" I ripped away from him to try and stop my tears.

"Misty," he sighed, pulling me close again so I could cry on his shoulder. "Since when have you ever cared what other people say? There's nothing wrong with what we're doing, right? There's no law against it. In fact, we can even have sex until you turn eighteen," he teased. I couldn't help but giggle a bit at that. I pulled my face away and wiped off my tears to stare up at him. I couldn't remove that last trace of a smile from my face.

"Very funny, Ash. But we still-"

I was cut off by a pair of soft lips crashing onto mine, sweet and soft. He pulled away, a childish smile on his face. "Sorry about that, Mist. You just look, y'know, really pretty when you smile. I shouldn't have cut you off and…what were you saying?" He blushed.

"You know I…I can't really remember," I smiled. "It doesn't matter, right? It's only a number."

* * *

**4. THEME: Jealousy Pairing: DAML (Do I really need to keep telling you? You have to know the pattern by now.) Title: Simpleton**

Drew. Me. Jealous.

Those words should not be used together. At all. I'm jealous of that…that nitwit! That complete moron! Why would I ever be jealous of him? I'm jealous of, oh, Ho-Oh, I'm jealous of Ash Ketchum. Ash Ketchum! Of all the people in the world to be jealous of! Ash Ketchum!

It makes a bit of sense. He's always traveling around with May. I like May, you see. It's why I give her the roses and tease her. It's pretty obvious. If you can't tell, well, you're just a moron, aren't you? Have you not noticed? Idiot.

I'm jealous of an idiot. That's incredibly hard to get over. He gets to be with her all the time, when she's walking, when she's talking, when she's sleeping…when she's wearing that bathing suit that's a string bikini for the top and a regular bottom in a deep red color. Ahem, I was sidetracked.

…By my love of fashion. Yeah that's it.

* * *

**5. THEME: Innocence Pairing: AAML(I guess it's a habit now…) Title: Work Out**

"Oh, great job," I smiled down at the guy I was spotting. His muscles flexed as he lifted a weight that was probably as heavy as I was. Which, for a man, probably wasn't saying much, but was very nice nonetheless. I had taken a job at the work out gym to help support the pokémon gym, not that it needed it now that I was running the show and my sisters agreed to stop taking challenges. "Incline bench press is a hard one for me, but I have to say, you're doing very, very well at it. Is this your first time here?"

"Yeah, just switched gyms," He said, voice thick with effort at lifting the weight.

"Are you planning on staying?" I inquired, jotting notes down on my clipboard.

"If all my spotters are as pretty as you," He chuckled. I blushed and tried not to look up, writing it down. "You're reddening, and you're not even the one lifting weights. Could you explain that to me, Misty? Do I make you nervous?"

"I'm just flattered," I said. I heard the clink of a weight crashing back down onto the bar. "Hey, I don't think you've done eight reps, yet. Have you worked to muscular failure?" I asked, looking up at the smiling boy. Yes, true, he wasn't the strongest in the lot, but I didn't mind.

"I'll work you to muscular failure, spotter," he said seductively.

"Ash!" I yelped, blushing. "I don't care if this whole thing was your idea. This is just plain weird! I mean, I know there are couples that role play when they're, you know, having," I trailed off uneasily. "But we're just making out!"

"Yeah, so let's make interesting," he chuckled. "You're such a good actress! If only your sisters knew that instead of thinking they're innocent, pure, little sister had gotten this job just to make her romantic life a bit more exciting."

"Weird, huh? How everyone thinks we're innocent," I asked.

He laughed. "That's because they don't know about wikipedia."

* * *

**6. THEME: Thousand Pairing: DAML Title: Thorns and Petals**

"Drew," I stopped him as he began to walk away.

"Yes?" He asked.

"This rose is special, do you know that?" I asked. He sauntered back and looked and me curiously. "One hundred is a special number, but there's something even more special, I guess. Drew, you've give me way more than a hundred roses now, but this is the one hundredth thorn I've cut myself on. You'd figure after a while I'd grow out of being so klutzy but apparently not. I guess, it's a metaphor."

"For what?"

"All the challenges we've faced so far," I said thoughtfully. "But for every thorn I've cut myself on, there's ten petals. The petals are the things that make the rose so attractive. It's the beauty of love, if you follow the idea."

"What are you trying to say?" He smiled thoughtfully. "I like where this is going. You're very deep today."

"Thanks," I blushed. "Where I was headed with was, to every insult you've given me, I think we need some compensation. It's going to take you a while to make it all up, but if you're willing, I think we can handle it."

"Anything," he agreed. "I always pay my debts."

"Alright," I nodded. "For every insult you give me, I think I deserve a kiss."

"Sounds fair," Drew smirked, my heart leapt. "But I've lost count of the times I've insulted you. Maybe we should go by something we've kept track of?" he took the rose from my hand and ran the thorn along his wrist. "Such as, cuts from a thorn deserve petals? Ten kisses for each cut good for you?" I answered him with a kiss. He smiled when I pulled away. "Alright, now you have to kiss me nine more times, and I have to kiss you one thousand." He laughed. "I think this deal might be going on for a while."

* * *

**7. THEME: Ugly Pairing: AAML Title: Ugly**

"I'm not pretty like them," I said sadly. Ash blinked in surprise.

"What do you mean you're not pretty like them? You're plenty pretty Misty!" He gasped. "I mean, boys have said so to you. I was there! Remember, just last night that guy came up to you and told you how pretty you were!"

"Yeah, Ash, he did, but he was drunk. He would've said that to any girl who walked in."

"No he wouldn't've!" Ash consoled.

"Ash, he asked you to dance, didn't he?" I glared. Ash blushed. "The man was as drunk as a skunk and you know it. He thought you were a girl. It's fine. You don't have to try and make me feel better, I know that I'm not pretty. I'm the runt. I'm not a sensational sister." I pulled a marker out from my bag and wrote loser on my face with it. "Jigglypuff hasn't been around for a while, so I fixed it myself."

"Aw, Misty!" Ash giggled. He took the marker and wrote LOZER2 on his forehead. "You're not ugly, but if I can't change your mind then fine! I'm ugly too. We'll be ugly forever and the pretty people can do whatever the hell they want! It's better that way, don't you think so?"

"Ash, you're such a goofball," I blushed, kissing his nose. "I guess that must be why I love you, huh?"

* * *

**8. THEME: Lies Pairing: DAML Title: My Hero**

Yeah, so, recently I was stolen by a crazy jealous Legendary. Sucks to be May, today. See, then he decided he wanted to be my lover. I really didn't want to be his lover for obvious reasons. I mean, he's nice and handsome at all, but I don't think I'm ready to 'mate' yet. So, I freaked out and I said the first things that came to mind: You can't have me, I'm taken. So he's all like, "Who?" And I'm just like: …Drew?

So, he went off on the crazy tree and called Drew over.

"May…why is this," he looked Raoul, my captor, up and down nervously, "man challenging me to a duel for your heart?"

"Because you're my boyfriend?" I laughed nervously. He stared up at me (I was stuck in a high up mountain cave) with disbelief. "I'm sorry! I was nervous and it was the only thing I could think of saying. Really, Drew, I'm sorry about all of this. Are you mad at me?"

"Uh, yes!" Drew shouted. "What the hell, May? You couldn't have said Ash? He's the freaking hero!"

"I was pressed for time, I was nervous. I don't know why I thought of you. It was a bad idea, I know. I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to help you out of this. I'm the damsel in distress. Use your coordinating skills."

"I shall transform into the Legendary of Thunder!" Raoul cried loudly. He threw up his hands triumphantly and screamed as his body morphed into a strange electric type pokémon I had never seen before. I swallowed nervously and looked at Drew. He wasn't looking so hot either.

"May," Drew growled, reaching for his pokéball. "If I live, you better give me something really, really nice. That, or you better _do _something really nice for me. I'm going to get my ass kicked thanks to you!"

I rolled my eyes and lay down on the rock to watch the scene unfold, muttering a bit to myself. And with a sarcastic sigh, "Oh, Drew, my knight in shining armor, my hero."

"Oh, shut up!"

* * *

**9. THEME: Drive Pairing: AAML Title: Death Trap**

"Misty, there is no way I'm getting in that car if you're behind the wheel. Have you seen the way you drive?" Ash asked, stumbling backwards from the car. "It's a death trap, damn it Misty! You pull up to my house and the whole street smells like burning rubber."

"Don't be such a baby!" Misty chided. "I'm not that bad of a driver. You're exaggerating. So I go a little fast, what's the big deal? It's not like I've ever been in an accident before. I haven't gotten a ticket yet. I'm perfectly fine driver."

"No," Ash laughed nervously. "No. You are not. You take the hardest turns, speed up to get through yellow spot lights, slam on the breaks, shout at strong, muscled up drivers, and then you say that 'my boyfriend in the shotgun seat can take you'! I'm not getting in the car."

"Ash, get in the car right now!" Misty stomped her foot impatiently and pointed.

"No! I can't drive and there's no one else here but you! If you're driving, I'm not riding!"

"Damn it, Ash! We have to get to the hospital! Brock's mom is about to have _another _baby and we've got to be there for him when he starts crying about the extra mouth to feed!" Misty dragged him over to the open door passenger seat and tried to shove him in. He refused to go. "Ash! Get in the car! I'll drive slow for you, okay? Just cool it! If you get in the car I promise I'll drive slow and careful for you, okay, pansy?"

"No!" Ash shouted. "I'm going to die! You're going to kill me in that ugly metal death trap you call a car."

"Ash, if you don't get in that car…" Misty crossed her arms over her chest.

"You'll what?" Ash snapped. "You can't hurt me! You're a stupid girl! I'm stronger than you now! I work out! I have the strength of twenty men! You'll never get me in this car! I will not be taken alive! You'll have to knock me out to get me in there!"

"I'm not allowed to knock you out anymore, your mother said so," Misty sighed dejectedly. She bit her lip nervously. "We're going to be late. There's got to be something I can do." She smiled. "Oh, I know what to do."

"Misty…I don't like the look on your face," Ash pressed himself against the car as hard as he could the car while Misty leaned up against his. "Misty, don't…you're scaring me!" He managed to yelp right before she kissed him hard. She pulled away, smirking at his dazed face and shoved him in the car.

"Well, that should hold him over for ten minutes."

* * *

**10. THEME: Balloons Pairing DAML Title: Ninety Nine Red Balloons**

"Drew, what are you doing?" May blinked.

I smiled at her. A string of a balloon twisted around my finger. The last one. "I heard a song on the radio and I felt romantic. This is the last red balloon. The package only cost two dollars, it's not like a wasted a fortune."

"Wasted? What do you mean?"

"That crazy has been blowing up and letting go of the balloons!" A little girl shrieked, an inch away from me. Her brother was giggling giddily. "He let James send one off,, but he said I couldn't have one unless I was gonna let it go! Why would I let it go?"

"Because it's cool, duh," Her brother scoffed.

"It's romantic," I grinned cheekily. I was a little light headed from blowing up all those balloons.

"How can that be romantic? You're letting go of balloons! Who cares if it's all about a song? You call me stupid! Ha! Well, Drew, I've finally caught you doing something stupid! I'm going to release it to the press! Yeah, let's see how great your reputation is then!" She spun away, then paused as I began to sing.

"_If I could find a souvenir, just to prove the world was here. And here it is, a red balloon,"_ I smirked as she looked down at her bright red outfit, then pointed at the balloon. I nodded then gave a casual flip of my hair. "_I think of you and let it go."_ I let it slip from my fingers and gave the sincerest smile I could manage in her direction. "Red balloons and roses, romantic, don't you think?" I asked.

She snorted, red. "It's not _that _romantic. That song could mean hundreds of things."

"So could the blush on your face," I smirked. "It just depends on the what the situation it is. You need to learn how to let things go."

"Like what?"

"Like rivalries," I said, stepping dangerously close. We moved closer, about to kiss when suddenly…

"EW! COME ON, JEN, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE THEY KISS!" The little boy screamed, dragging his sister away.

I sighed. So much for romance.

* * *

I wish y'all a Happy New Year! And, really, I do appreciate the time you all take to review. It really makes my day! 


	31. AM Caught Up in the Moment

**Thank you all who review! I sincerely appreciate it!**

This fanfic is brought to you by: Bittersweet Romanticide! She's crazy, she's evil, she's got this strange addiction to writing and now, she's brought you this!

I'm practicing…ACTION! Since this is practice, be critical in your reviews. I need to know! Yeah…this will either go very, very well, or really, really, REALLY bad. –crosses fingers and bounces a bit- Oh, please be the former!

* * *

**AAML**

"And what is that mark there, son, on your pokéball?" The reporter asked Ash. The boy grinned proudly. He was sixteen and about to go one on one with Ahpuhtiezur's Elite Champion, Caesar, Caesar Salad. (A/N: Too obvious a made up name and region? (Sound out the region, you'll see what I mean))

"This? Okay, you know how Pikachu never goes into it's pokéball?" Ash asked rhetorically. He looked over his shoulder. "Hey, Mist! Send Pikachu over! …No? What do you mean…Excuse me! She's my pokémon…I can't! Half of my freaking pokémon are pregnant and the other half are busy fathering because _someone named Misty _forgot to put the locks on the pens at Professor Oak's place! Pikachu is the only one I can use that would actually work! Give her! Son of a…give me my pokémon! Listen, sir, I'm sorry. Just give me a minute to get my pokémon back. Someone stole her." Ash raced off camera for a minute, leaving the reporter dazed and confused.

Misty's voice began to scream off screen. "Hey, what're you…? Ah! Don't! No! Those are my pants! Stop it! You're going to…don't! Ash! Fine! Fine! You can have her! Maybe if she'd just come to you instead of want to stay with me you might win this battle. You're going to _lose _like you always do. Gary's right! You're a stupid, ugly, fat, loser!" Misty stormed across the screen, pulling the jeans she had been wearing under her skirt up. "Ash Ketchum pants-ed me! He's a pervert!"

"Aw, can it!" Ash shouted, walking back on screen with Pikachu bundled up in his arms. "Sorry, that's my, er, coach. She's a total freak. If you see her, tell her she's a runt. Seriously, that would really make my day."

"About your pokeball, Ash?"

"My what? Oh, right," he laughed nervously and tucked his hand behind his head sheepishly. "Sorry about that. That's Pikachu's pokéball. She doesn't like going inside enclosed spaces. I never put her in there, but the rules and regulations say that I have to have proof she's mine. So I'm going to flash the judges the pokéball to show them that I own her. After that I'll start my killer one on one battle!" He cheered for himself.

"It's going to suck. Throw popcorn at him," Misty said with a giggle. She leaned casually on his shoulder (which was getting harder and harder as he got taller) and smile up at him charmingly. "Hullo, Ash. I have faith in your pokémon. I have no faith in you, but I have faith in your pokémon."

"You're too happy," Ash said accusingly. "What are you up to?"

"I'm plotting revenge," she smiled, putting her hand to her mouth and sucking on a Ring Pop. She turned to the reporter and pulled the Ring Pop back out. "Listen, if you're looking for an exciting story about Ash Ketchum living a scandal, you won't get it. The boy is as clean and pure as they come. Now, I did my best to try and teach him sexual innuendos and dirty jokes and all about South Park, but he just blushed and ran away. He's insecure out his weight though."

"I am not."

"Yes you are, fatty," she smirked.

"I'm not fat!" He shouted. He blushed. "That was a little too loud, wasn't it?"

"Just a little." She tweaked his nose playfully and started to walk away. Ash grabbed her arm, wrestled off the Ring Pop, and sucked on it a bit himself, refusing to give it back. "Fine, be that way. You eat the sugar and get fat."

"You can't have it back," he chuckled. She threw a mini-fit before storming away, red faced and pouting. Ash innocently looked at the reporter, shot the camera a winning grin and said, "Women, man, can't live with them, can't live without them. Hi Mom!"

* * *

"Are you ready?" Caesar asked his pokéball. He was a tall, skinny man. His face was gaunt, his skin tone dull and sickly. He looked rather old, but seemed perfectly able to hold his own. With an anticlimactic twist of his wrist, he tossed a pokéball down on to the field. "Vespiquen, go," he shouted unenthusiastically. Ash blinked. He'd never heard someone be so loud and uncaring at the same time.

"Uh, are you sick?"

"Thank you for asking, young man, but no. I always look this ugly and old," Mr. Salad scoffed. The crowd above began to laugh, and Ash blushed. "I'm just not a very expressive person. At all. Such as, there's a red headed girl sneaking up behind you, and I really haven't seemed to notice it at all."

"Wha?" Ash blinked. He spun around to a wickedly smiling Misty, who already had another Ring Pop on her finger. She quickly yanked down his pants with a triumphant yell, the crowd above bursting into guffaws. "Misty!"

"Ash, you don't pants girls. It's wrong. I don't care that I was wearing a skirt. Let this be a lesson to you," She laughed along with the crowd as he struggled to get his pants up. Half of her thought it would be just perfect to shove him down into the field, with no pants. That would be much too cruel, even for her. "I'm sorry to disturb your match, Champion Salad. Have a nice battle, and I wish you both the best of luck," She ran off to her coach's box.

"She's lying, you know," Ash said calmly, still red. "She doesn't feel sorry at all and she doesn't want to me to have any luck. We've got a bet going on. If I win, I don't owe her a bike anymore. It's a long and confusing story you really don't want to hear about."

"It's okay, kid. Let's just try to keep our pants up for this match and keep our minds on the field, not the pretty red head in the coach box." Ash reddened and the entire field laughed louder then before. Well, all except Misty, who blushed just as bad and tired to hide behind Brock and Tracey. "Well, don't just stand there and blush, boy! Release your pokémon and let's get this battle on the road!"

"Yessir," he blushed. He took out the lightning marked pokéball and showed it to the judges while Pikachu raced out onto the field.

(I'm going to kick some major bug ass,) she sniggered, her cheeks beginning to spark. She eyed the Vespiquen wearily. It looked old, it looked tired, but that wouldn't fool her. She hoped by now Ash would as well. (We're not taking the old grouch lightly, right?)

"I'm sure she's tough," Ash agreed. "Don't worry, Pikachu. I know that I need to be careful. I won't judge a book by its cover. Let's go in close for an attack. You've got speed to get back out, so get ready to move!"

(Can I volt tackle it?) Pikachu asked excitedly.

"Let's tackle it first, huh?" Ash said. "Can we not be eager and figure out our opponent first?"

(No risk taking pansy ass,) Pikachu muttered rushing forward to deliver a tackle that she was sure had next to no effect. Pikachu skidded back gracefully, light on her feet. Vespiquen was closing in, slowly, her arm raised in a slash. Pikachu looked up at the daunting creature. Closer, closer, closer…she shifted into a quick agility to dance away from the powerful slash that came down. The claw dug into the dirt up to her elbow. (Aw, shit!) Pikachu exclaimed. (That does not look like fun!)

"See, that's why we figure out our opponent. Slow, but powerful. Now we now," Ash said. "Let's chip at the health. We'll attack from afar, okay Pikachu? Let's see a thunderbolt!" He called. Pikachu began to charge. It'd be a while before the thing got over to her.

(Heh, I'm a bug zapper,) Pikachu giggled to herself. She released the thunderbolt. The bug didn't show a response, though it looked quite charred. (Uh-oh, Bugsy ain't talking. Hey, sweetheart, wanna tell me how bad I hurt ya?)

(I am a female as well, fellow pokémon.)

(I suppose charming you is out of the question then?) Pikachu laughed nervously. Vespiquen began her slow crawl forward. (Aw, crap. You know, this is like a freaking zombie attack. I can out run her and everything, yeah, but it's still as creepy as hell.)

"Pikachu, please! Can you focus?"

(I _can_, but what's a match without my charming responses?) Pikachu giggled. (Oh crap!)

She swerved to the left as another slash attack crashed down beside her. The Vespiquen took no time getting it back out of the ground and slashing again, this time with her left claw. Pikachu slid to the right, mentally cursing her luck. So, the old man had figured it out? She was better skidding to the left than right. She was much, much slower and easier to tire that way. From the look in the Vespiquen's eyes, the old bat knew it, too. She dimly heard a shout of 'fury swipes' and the familiar voice saying 'agility' as the next attacks began to hit. She went on her tip toes to move fast and leaped back and forth between the oncoming attacks, the ground around her shook with the power and the soil began to loosen under her paws. She swore again and used agility to leap away, running around the wall of the area before slowing enough to stand. How many times had Vespiquen brought those down all too close? Too many times for a normal furry swipes. At least twenty times, probably more. She could strike much faster than she could fly.

And she was tired, now, panting. Moving this fast was taking a lot out of her. Thankfully, the Vespiquen wasn't doing so hot either.

"Stay away from it, Pikachu," Ash encouraged. "You don't have to go fast, just faster than her. I know you're tired, it's gonna be hard, but she's tired too. Long range attacks, Pikachu. You're good at those. Give a thunder, maybe we'll paralyze her."

Pikachu almost groaned aloud. She always hated this one part of the battle. Resting. She could feel every muscle throb, every part of her lungs cry for mercy, her heart pumped in her chest so hard it must be bursting through her rib cage. She began to charge again. Power. That's what she needed. It wasn't her speed that mattered, it was Vespiquen's. Let the creature be slow. The storm clouds were gathering. She let the feeling wash over her. Oh the tingling, numbing feeling. Then, her heart stopped. No, she wasn't dead. This always happened. She was paralyzed, but it didn't matter. A lightning bolt smoothly crashed down from the sky and fried the bug in front of her. Then resumed the normal thumping in her chest, the pain in her body, and the relief that the match appeared to be over.

"You went all out on that thunder, huh?" Ash gasped with surprise. "I just wanted a little shock, but, damn, that was great. Nice job."

(If you don't shut up,) Pikachu said, each word through a breath, (you're going to find out exactly what kind of shock that was, you uncaring ass. I want a better greeting than nice job. If that fucking thing stands up, I'm forfeiting.) Which was a lie, of course. She'd never forfeit. She had her pride, after all.

Silence was in the arena. They were waiting. Vespiquen would stand up. She _had _to stand up. She had never _not_ stood up before. The thing had always finished a battle. Champion Salad (A/N: Do you have any idea how retarded I feel every time I write that?) "V-Vespiquen," the referee stuttered, "is unable to battle." People in the stand were gaping, horrified. Not only had their champion lost, but he had lost in an extremely short, poorly written and uncreative battle! "Ash Ketchum form Pallet Town wins the match."

"Oh, sweet!" Ash cheered. He was instantly surrounded by a mob of his closest friends and family, congratulating him briefly before it turned into a mosh pit more than anything, where he was hardly the center of attention.

"Ash! You won!" Misty cheered delightedly, throwing her arms around him in a hug and jumping up and down. "You finally won a competition, you loser!" She laughed and pulled away, a smile almost hidden on her face, half a smirk, half a grin. Ash blinked. Was it just him or was she…cute? He felt himself stepping closer, and then leaning in. Her mouth dropped open a bit, surprised. "Ash, are you…?" She gasped.

He quickly covered his lips with hers, slowly bringing up a hand to trace along the side of her face while the other grabbed a belt loop to yank her closer. It was a beautiful rush of adrenaline, like jumping off a cliff, and if anyone would know what that would feel like, he would. Then, realizing what he had just done, he pulled back, eyes wide. "Oh, shit, Mist. I'm sorry! I got caught up in the moment and you just looked so…so cute!" He blushed. "Oh, man! That one sounds bad. That sounds so stupid. That's not what I meant! It's so cheesey! Misty, that was your first kiss and…crap!"

"Ash," Misty said, shaking her head wildly. "You weren't just caught up in the moment, were you?"

"Which answer is going to keep me out of trouble?" Ash asked.

"The honest one," Misty narrowed her eyes.

"Let me rephrase that, which one is going to get you to let me kiss you again?" Ash laughed lightly. Misty grinned and yanked him closer, thrusting her lips on his again. Ash pulled back, grinning just as crazily as she was. "I take it that was the right one?"

The answer was self explanatory.

* * *

Yeah, I've been working on a bunch of different one-shots, that's why they're up so fast. The romance was okay, I'm saving the good stuff for 'Don't Believe What You See', which really is coming to a close soon. It's the final stretch on that one!

So, if you review, tell me on my very brief action scene. I'd be creative but, er, I'm not much of a battler. Even in the game it's basically type trump, attack, attack, attack, other pokemon fainted. Go find next opponent. Destroy. Repeat sequence until game ends.

Tell me if my brief action was any good, and thanks for reading!


	32. AM Not Team Rocket, TR

Well, one more one-shot before I finish up EVAN AAML's…hopefully. I'm halfway done, I swear! It's one of those double pairing fanfics, and you know how those take a while.

**The reason this one got up before the other was because I found this in one of my notebooks from before the winter break. I typed it up and edited today.**

Uh, I can't decide if Pikachu's a girl or guy. I don't care what the pictures say, I'm still deciding. Therefore, I will continue to leap back and forth between genders until I've come to a conclusion. Not within the same story, but in different oneshots.

* * *

**AAML**

"Move! They're everywhere!" The woman snapped.

"We noticed," I said, nervously, still finding room for smartass comments in all the worry and destruction. I needed to learn to keep my mouth shut, I really did. Unfortunately, it was the times when my mouth should've shut the fastest that it opened the most.

The woman glared at me slightly, worry still lingering in her eyes. "Don't be smart with me, missy. Your life lies in my hands."

"I understand," I nodded quietly. "I'm sorry."

She humphed in my direction before continuing her frantic instructions. Stay down, stay hidden, stay quiet. I'd heard it all before. How stupid did she think we were, honestly? It wasn't the hardest thing in the world to figure out. Of course, she was practically tossing us into the house when she finished talking, one torture after another. I managed not to speak of it. I winced, seeing as I went first and crashed into the door. It opened in front of me with a crash, barely audible against the sound of gunshots and fire behind us. Big hands lifted me up, I thought it was Brock. I could've been wrong, though it seemed like he would be the only one to rip me up so fast and drag me down a flight of stairs.

"Buneary!" Dawn gasped. "Her pokéball! It fell! Oh no, oh no! We've got to go back! Oh, Mew! Ash, I've got to go back." I heard footsteps up the stairs, followed by a heavier set by Ash as her dragged her back down the stairs. "Ash! No! Let me go! I have to get her! She's going to die! Please, Ash, don't let her die!" She was screaming, then sobbing as Ash kicked the door closed and led her gently downstairs. "She's going to die."

"I know," He whispered. "I…I don't know what to say, Dawn. Do you…do you want to hold Pikachu? I know it's not much but…"

"That'll help," She said with a broken voice. There was the sound of claws on the floor and the ruffle of fabric as she picked him up and held him tight. Maybe that would make her feel better. I hoped so. I'd hate to have her cry, she's such a sweet girl.

"Everyone here?" Brock asked.

"I'm not," I laughed nervously. A few laughs accompanied mine, a courtesy. They didn't actually care. I didn't blame them. There was a few minutes of murmurs, nearly unidentifiable, then Ash shuffled over to me and sat down quietly, his breath ragged and noisy. I wasn't surprised. He had been running. "Ash, I know you're tired, but pick up your feet. I hate that noise.

"You're nervous," He said nonchalantly.

Damn right I was nervous! How long had it been since I'd gone exploring with the real life 'Go, Diego, Go!" kid? Four years? Hell, it could've been close to _five._ The point was I was completely out of my comfort zone. Ah, my comfort zone that was the simple rut of battling fresh off the press trainers and training my pokémon. Why did I ever want to leave that perfect, perfect place and go straight into this hellish place?

His hand drops to my shoulder and suddenly it's crystal clear. That heart stopping, ground shaking, mouth drying, I'm-your-freaking-fangirl-Ash-Ketchum-take-me-now-and-have-my-children-please feeling he seems to cause is the reason I'm here. In a freaking cellar. Yes, I'm locked in a cellar, hiding from a few people who need the Chosen One. At least we're not alone. Brock's here, Dawn is too. All four of us together. She's starting to forget about Buneary, a bit, preoccupy herself with being agitated at his almost silent chant of every Joy and Jenny he's ever met. I am too. I think he's actually doing it more to annoy her than to relieve his own stress. He's gotten used to all this crap. Lucky son of a gun. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!

"Nervous, me?" I laughed. "Please, Ash, I live for this!" I laughed. _Oh, Mew, I'm going to die!_ I closed my eyes and tried to slow my pounding heart, though neither helped. It was practically black in the place anyway. I couldn't see a thing. All I had to go by was sound to figure out where we were. Humans do have night vision, which was a good thing. Mine would eventually kick in, even if it did take a while.

"You don't have to hide anything from me. We're best friends, still. At least, I hope we're still best friends. You seem to get mad at me for no reason, so I'm never sure anymore." He gave the same nervous laugh I had, then stopped and made an effort at helping me again. I guess he was getting his practice with someone easier to fix, instead of going after Dawn's broken spirit. "It's alright if you're scared, Misty. It's been a long time since we've had to deal with…" He trailed off.

_Bullets? Guns? Grenades? Bombs? The fact that we're just _sixteen _and totally unprepared for this hell bound place we call the world? How about the fact that we're totally screwed and we'll both die alone and unloved, not to mention I'm still a virgin, which I really don't want to die as, in this mewdamned cellar?_

"…With the High Ups of TR," Ash finished lamely.

"Red and white, we're always right. Follow the R, right to the stars," I quoted from a poster we saw not too long ago. I hated those twisted little rhyme. "Bloode is red, the gun's to your head. TR, terrorists by far. The R of T, they're all after me," I murmured quietly. I was barely making sense anymore. "I'm prepared for trouble, and you'll make it double." My throat hurt, like a rock was stuck in it, a rock with spikes. "Their motto was the opposite of what they intended. It meant good things. It meant they would save the world, not destroy it. 'To denounce the evils of truth and love'. Ash, I'm…I wish it was Brock and you and me again. All we had to worry about was Jessie and James. I'd give anything to hear that stupid, stupid motto again, just one last time."

It was quiet again. Brock was silent. Dawn was silent. I wondered if they were listening to us, and if so, how long. I bet they thought I was going insane. I couldn't blame them, I probably would've too. This whole war was driving me mad. I thought the others had to go insane too. I wondered if any of us sane anymore, not just that, but would we ever be sane ever again? "It can't be them, Misty. It's over."

"They're dead, aren't they?" I asked quietly. He didn't answer, just squeezed my shoulder. He was never any good with words. He didn't know how to break it to me gently. Break it to me, ha, like I hadn't already seen it happen. "Oh, Mew, Ash! I can't believe they're d-d-dea…" I couldn't bring myself to finish. My hands were trembling against my legs. I dropped my head forward, almost touching my lap but not flexible enough to do so. I jerked back up again, fast enough to be lightheaded, my tears banished again. "They helped us so much at the end. They were so, so good in the end."

"I know, quiet down, Misty. They'll hear us up there. Any second now the screaming could stop, they'll extinguish the fires, and they'll start looking for us. You never know when they start. It could be hours, could be seconds. I don't know how they managed to find us, unless they tapped into the trackers Max had. But he went the other way, how could they find us?" He was starting to ramble, thinking. He stopped, and turned back to me. "If you want to feel better, stay quiet. If we die Jessie and James died for nothing, what's the word, what's the word?" He thought for a minute. "In vain. You don't want them dead in vain, right? You want them dead for no reason? No, of course you don't. We keep quiet and alive. That's how we say thank you."

"They were really good people, Ash." I couldn't seem to get that point across enough. "They were in their twenties, damn it! They were in their _early_ twenties! She and Cassidy used to train together! She knew her! They talked! I know they don't get along great now, but you couldn't ever kill Gary, could you? I barely know him, but I couldn't kill the guy! But Cassidy! Cassidy shot them down like they were targets in a firing range! She _slaughtered_ them." I gasped for air, my throat was closing up and fast.

"You can cry, Mist. It's fine. If you need to cry, then you cry. No one will think anything less of you. It'd probably make you feel better met too. It'll be nice to know that you can feel. That makes you better than all the TR grunts combined."

"No, weaker," I told him.

"Stronger," he corrected firmly.

"Then why haven't you cried?" I growled. "You haven't shed a tear. You always cry. You cry at everything. You cry because other people cry. What, do you not care? Do you think this whole thing is just another grand adventure?"

"I care. I just can't," Ash responded bitterly. "I don't think I can cry anymore. After all this, I'm just numb to the world." He paused, then completely changed the subject. "I didn't want you here. You didn't have to be involved in all this. I wanted you in Cerulean, safe. In one of the smallest cities in all of Kanto. Quiet Cerulean. Who would think of you? It's been forever since we traveled together. Who would think of you? They didn't even go after my _mom_ but they went after you! Retarded, that's what it is. They've got no idea what their doing. Don't know me well at all."

"They knew that you could get your mom out of Pallet without showing yourself," I said, placing a hand on his back. "They knew that you'd have to talk to me in person to get me out, though, didn't they?"

"I wanted you there! I wanted you safe! But…the gym." His hand fell away from my shoulder as he groaned. "Ho-Oh, the gym!"

"It burned," I said, surprised at the even tone. The gym was my world, but right then, I didn't seem to care. "All of it burned. They would've killed me if you hadn't come to get me out of there. My sisters are probably dead. At least one of them has to be. Maybe they got lucky and all got out. Stranger things have happened."

"Misty, I'm sorry-"

"Don't be."

"I'm so sorry for everything I've done." He curled up tightly and began saying sorry to our dead friends, or injured family, our pokémon, wherever they were. Ash Ketchum apologized to all of them, and still didn't cry.

"You haven't done anything, Ash." I wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "You haven't done anything. Don't let them tell you any different. You saved as many as you could. You saved who you could and you made good choices. Is it your fault my sisters were out shopping when you got me? Is it your fault water pokémon can't run? Is it your fault they wouldn't get back in their pokéballs, or that some of them can't?"

"No, but there had to be a way I didn't think of."

"No, Ash, there was no other way. You did what you could and that's okay. We can't all be perfect, Ash. Bad things happen, terrible things have been happening, but you can't change everything. You tried your best."

"And it wasn't good enough," He spat. "It's never good enough."

"Don't say that! You're losing hope! If you loose hope, we're all damned, because none of us have any dreams left in us! The supercontest halls were the first to go, followed by contests, finishing with the gyms! None of us have any dreams left. The research labs have no more funding! So, who's left? Tracey? Yeah, that's not helping. The wild pokémon are too scared to come out, and probably will be for a few generations, there goes that dream. Meanwhile, pokémon training is still legalized by TR!"

"Misty!" He panicked. "Lower your voice!"

"Why?" I shouted.

"Why do you think?" He snapped viciously. He grabbed my shoulders and gave me a rough shake. "Keep your voice low! Cool your temper for once in your life! Do you have to be completely insane all the time?"

"Of course I do!" I shouted. "And I still don't see why I have to be quiet! I can be as loud as I want! Give me a reason, not an order Mr. Pokémon Master!" This was dangerous, deadly, but strangely exhilarating. But, hey, there was only one way to get my Ash back.

"They'll hear you!"

I leapt to my feet. "Why does it matter? You've already said your goodbyes to the world. Apologizing. That's how Ash Ketchum leaves, and might I say, what a wonderful exit! I couldn't think of a better way to go! Well, do you have any last words, Mr. pokémon Master? Anything you want to say before our sould plunge into the pits of hell? Come on, share with me! I can't wait to hear the immortal words of Ash Ketchum, the first and last, sole causer of all haven and hell in our world!"

"Shut up!" He snapped.

"Why? You're to blame for all of this!"

"It's not my fault! We still have a chance at this if you would just shut up! Sit down and shut your mouth before we're all dead."

I smiled, even if he couldn't see it in the dark. "Was that too hard? You've got your fighting spirit back already. Think up a plan, Ash. We can't hide in the basement forever. They'll find us sooner or later."

"It's not a basement, it's a cellar," Brock corrected.

"I'm not happy, and I still have my mallet," I snapped. "Don't go there."

"Hey, guys!" Dawn whispered excitedly. "I found shoe polish and bleach! We can disguise ourselves with this. I'll blacken my hair and chop it off. I'll look like a boy then. Misty can blacken her hair too! And boys," she jiggled the jug of bleach dangerously. "It'll be tricky, but we've got water and bleach and one trained professional to get you two blonde." She grinned at me. "I'm not looking like a guy without taking revenge on their kind."

"No! Dawn!" Brock moaned, fingers running through his hair. "I'll look stupid! I'm way to dark to have blonde hair!"

"Blonde streaks, then," She smirked. "That won't look nearly as stupid. It'll still look pretty bad, but it won't look that bad. Look on the bright side, you and Ash can look stupid together. I'll keep searching, maybe I'll find some brown shoe polish for Ash's hair. Then it won't look as suspicious."

"What do you mean?" Ash snapped. "I'm not changing my hair color! Like they're not going to know what I'd look like just because my hair is a different color! They're still going to know! It's not like you're a plastic surgeon."

"Fine, I pour the bleach on your face and burn you," Dawn snapped. "It's a good idea! It'll be dark, they won't notice. Odds are they said we're looking for a dark boy, a medium toned boy, and two white girls. One girl has red hair, one girl has blue, and the two boys have black hair. They won't know the specifics. If we can come up with a good excuse for what three boys and a girl are doing down here, we're home free!"

"Shooting a porno?" Brock asked.

"Brock!" The three snapped, keeping their voices low.

"Strip poker?"

"Brock, would you shut up?" I said, giggling. "I swear, I've got that mallet on me! I'll hit you so hard you won't know up from down, you pervert! You'll be crying for mercy and wondering why you said something like that in the presence of two ladies."

"One lady." I thought I saw Brock grin in the darkness. "And just to get all three of you mad, it's not Misty or Dawn." There was the sound of footsteps on Brock was tackled to the ground. I was pretty sure the boys were wrestling again. Dawn rolled her eyes and twirled the bottle of bleach in her hand. I was starting to make out some silhouettes instead of the darkness I was finally starting to get used too.

"Boys, break it up," I called quietly, "hurry, before Dawn gets too mad and pours bleach all over you, and I don't think it's color safe."

**

* * *

**

I don't know how much time passed. It could've been days, it could have been weeks, months even. It was nice though. Ever since the thing had started we'd been running and running from everything. We just needed some time to stop going and relax. We sat and ate what we found, which wasn't very good tasting, but it was edible. We drank from the faucet Dawn had used to aid in the bleaching of the boy's hair. We were quiet and peaceful until we heard the deadly knock from above, a noise from the outside world. The quiet dripping of the faucet was all we could hear, even our breathing was dead silent.

Then, Dawn spoke. "What would three boys and a girl be doing down here?"

"They wouldn't," I hissed. "Why'd they stay so long in this damn town? How hard must they be searching? Could TR just have moved on? Why didn't they realize that we weren't here on the first day?"

"Maybe someone reported us. They saw us come down, just wanted the Rockets gone," Ash suggested. "You know how strong of a motivator fear is. People will do anything when they're scared out of their mind. TR is good at that."

"We don't even call them Team Rocket anymore," I whispered. "Have they got us scared too?"

"No, Team Rocket's just not who they are. No matter how hard they try to talk us out of it, Team Rocket's always going to be Jessie and James," Ash nodded at me. We could see clearly in the dark by now. "TR's a much bigger threat."

"I know!" Brock said suddenly. "I know what kids would be doing in a dark, secluded place at all hours of the day. It doesn't matter what time it is upstairs, because kids are always running away to find these kinds of places."

"What?" Dawn rolled her eyes. "Making out?" Her eyes widened. She smacked her forehead. "Oh, duh. This place is – was – probably the hottest make out spot in the area. And, heck, if two guys are kissing all the better! It's all experimental and we don't want our parents to know! Brock, you're a genius!"

"You came up with the plan, I just had an idea," Brock chuckled with false modesty. "But, if we write a book, I want full credit."

"I'll tell Violet when she's writing the rough draft." I agreed.

"But who's taking who?" Dawn asked. "I'm fine with anyone. I've got no problems with any of you. Besides, I already none of you are interested in me." She frowned. "Which doesn't help my self confidence at all."

"You don't need it," Ash rolled his eyes. He grinned and rolled his eyes over to me I knew what he was thinking, and groaned. He was such a typical guy.. "Hey, Dawn, would you even take Misty?"

"Ash, you're sick," I rolled my eyes.

"Homophobe," He accused.

"I'm not a homophobe! I'm just saying you're sick because you don't want us to kiss because you think we're gay, you want us to kiss for your own sick pleasure. You just want to have the picture of us making out in your head when you go to the bathroom tonight." Oh, how we went to the bathroom. You don't want to know. I don't want to know. I've blocked it from my memory, we're not going to talk about it.

"Sure, but that would mean you and Brock had to be partners so you two would have to kiss and I guess I could get out a phone or something and record it and send it to everyone we know," Dawn innocently suggested.

"Nevermind."

"Thought so."

"I call Dawn!" Brock said quickly. "No offense, Misty, but you know how much I've always wanted to see you and Ash kiss, not to mention how much I'm sure you two lovebirds want to make out down here, isn't that write?"

"Ugh! You are _such _a perv!" I flushed. Yes, I was madly, head over heels, romantic fantasy in love with a boy named Ash Ketchum. But did Brock have to point it out? In front of him? In front of Dawn, a huge gossip? All I needed was Ash to finally find out I liked him on top of all the corpses knocking at the front door. Too much stress to handle. He'd probably hate me, spitting out clichéd lines of how I was his only support to rely on. How I was the single most important creature in his world, and now I had betrayed his trust. I had changed. The horror, the pure, unadulterated, PG-13, melodrama horror.

Or, we could take the other route, the worse route. l He could think himself in love with me, but was really just bonding to the closest living thing he had on hand. In this crazy, old time adventure story world, there was one thing he could always depend on. My love, immortal and pure, and would be the sole thing to guide him to this storm. But, it wouldn't be real. It'd be something to loose himself in, hide himself.

Wow, don't you just love these kinds of dilemmas? I should've killed myself when I had the chance.

"This won't change anything between us, right Misty?" Ash whispered. "No matter what, through thick and thin, Ash and Misty, best friends until the very end, right? We can ignore the teasing."

I swallowed. "It doesn't have to change. We can just think of this as a way out, an escape route. It's just an action to save our lives, like mouth to mouth or open heart surgery." I smiled and giggled. It was fake, so fake. I was terrified out of my mind. I wanted to scream until my head exploded.

We dropped into the too familiar silence as we heard footsteps above, heavy footsteps. Someone must have been wearing boots. There were three sets, at most. One on one, that would be great if it was a pokémon battle. It wasn't. Of course it wasn't. We had pocket knives and they had guns that could shoot off a hundred shots a second.

Brock and Dawn get close, already getting ready to become a homosexual couple. Brock giggled at something Dawn said. It sounded like a guy joke involving a cucumber in her pants. Ash giggled a bit at it beside me.

"Ash, I don't want anything to change," I said quickly.

"I think it's going to," he replied.

I sighed. "You mean we get attached. We're too emotional and won't be able to control ourselves. I know. We're good friends though, I think we could get over it. We're in puberty and the stress is only pumping out the 'make the next generation' gene, but I'm sure we'll control it."

"That's not really what I meant," Ash said. I glanced at him. He looked embarrassed, but I couldn't tell if he blushed.

The handle made a noise as the rocket member tried to turn it. "They're coming," Ash gulped. I was surprised. All this love stuff _still _made him nervous after all these years. Maybe he wasn't as grown up as I thought he was.

I tilted his face up to mine with a smirk. "I noticed."

Then I locked my mouth on to his. We were both stiff, neither one doing anything but sitting with our eyes closed and holding our lips together. I didn't know exactly what happened next, I must've lost some memory in the surprise, blacked out for a moment or something, but suddenly his tongue was in my mouth. My hands were racing over his shirt, then under it, scratching lightly at the skin. It kept going. On and on for I didn't know how long until I realized something.

No one was interrupting us.

Where was the snickering TR grunt, telling us to have fun? Where was the never ending rain of bullets? Our bodies should be carried off to present to the boss. I pulled back. "Ash, I'm pretty sure the TR killed us."

"I didn't think I was good enough to get that kind of reward in heaven," Ash said, his mouth dropping open. I felt myself go red to the very tips of my ears. He had not just said what I thought he had said.

We turned towards the open door and hissed at the sudden flash of light. "Close the door or kill us already. Whatever you do, show mercy."

"What were you two doing?" May asked with a giggle. May and her brother stood in the doorway, looking cocky. "Brock and Dawn stepped away the second the door open, but you two didn't even bother looking up."

"Did you two have fun?" Max teased.

"We got a little carried away, it happened. Let's just get back to TR. What are they up to, and how did you get past them?" Ash asked, trying to avoid the subject as our eyes slowly began to adjust. He was red, I could see that now.

"They just flew out so we ran in. You've still got your trackers on you," Max said solemnly. "We're got worse stuff to worry about then them though. What they're doing is child's play compared to what else is going on."

"They're killing hundreds of people and pokémon, maybe thousands, maybe even tens of thousands! Who could possibly kill millions all at once, huh?" Dawn asked haughtily, crossing her arms over her chest. Mew, did she ever look like a boy.

"The Legendaries," Mac whispered. "Every one we've ever faced so far. They're revolting. If no one can stop them…" He took a deep, shaking breath, his eyes beginning to fill with unshed tears. Poor kid.

May held him close and continued what he couldn't. "According to the prophecy, Dialga and Palkia will fix it their way. They'll move on to a new planet, a new universe," Max started to sob at this point, May held him as close of she could. "They're going to make a new home planet."

I grabbed Ash's hand, seeking comfort, he gripped mine. "But not before destroying ours."

* * *

BAM! Who saw that one coming from the beginning of the story? Huh? Huh? NO ONE. That's what I thought.

Nice plot though, do any of you lovely reviewers wants it? Feel free to take it off my busy hands. I'll never get around to it, and I would _love _to see it in writing. Death, prophecies, destruction, really big guns…-sighs dreamily- Yeah, if you want it, take it, just throw my pen name in there somewhere. If no one does, maybe I'll get around to it in a year or seven.

This fic is my precious baby. If you take it, make sure it's written right. –cuddles fanfic trapped in an infants body, then holds it up by the foot, starting to sob uncontrollably- Take it! Take it and do with it what you will!

Er…sorry for the random, and thanks for getting me to –gasp- nearly three hundred! Y'all rock my socks!


	33. AM DM American Football

Idea from: EVAN AAML. And I'm totally sorry. I can never seem to do justice to your ideas…This one sucks as well. It started off so good…then it just went downhill. I'm sorry I can't seem to do well with yours. :)

THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED!

* * *

**AAML & minor DAML (**sorry it sucks. I don't know how to fix it. It's probably because I suck at sports.

The two teens lay down, feet facing opposite directions, shoulder to shoulder, looking up at the bright,, summer sky. It was a record breaking hot day out. Ninety nine degrees, the first time in the high nineties for darling little Pallet Town. "On the count of three, Ash, we put the leg closest to the other person up in the air, wrap it around the others, then pull really, really hard to flip them over. That's how you win."

"I've got a bad feeling about this," Ash said timidly to Misty.

"Oh, shut up. My cousins and I do this all the time. If a girl can do it, you can do it too," she huffed. Misty locked elbows with Ash and counted. "One, two, three, go!" The legs went up in the air and locked. A second later, Ash was on his stomach, moaning. "Damn it, Ash. You didn't even put up a fight. You went right over. You'd figure with all that running you do you'd be a little better at this. Turns out, you're weak all over. Couldn't even beat a girl."

"What girl?" Ash snorted. "I fought against a scrawny red headed boy."

"Brock, will you referee a wrestling match between Ash and I?" Misty asked sweetly. Brock, Tracey, May, Drew, Max, and Gary all sat on the white picket fence, looking down at them. Brock shook his head disapprovingly. "How about a samurai sword duel to the death?" Another shake of the head. "A boxing match? Knife throwing? Sharp shooting? Daggers? Bow and arrow? A pillow fight? A battle of wits?"

"Misty, something Ash has a chance of winning. Does battle of wits scream "Ash's Sport" to you?" Brock scolded. Misty giggled.

Suddenly, the thunder of rapidash hooves came up the road and a fabulous white stallion pulled up beside them. "Oh, that's freaking awesome. Talk about your, 'hi, ho, silver!'" Natty giggled excitedly. "Guys, guess what I found?"

"Your maturity?" Drew said dryly. May pinched her boyfriend's shoulder, making him yelp. "Ow! May, that hurt, dammit."

"Don't swear."

"Why would I even want to find my maturity?" She snorted. She cleared her throat and smiled at the rest of them. "Er, yeah, hi. Uh, I was wandering around the preserve…well, not so much wandering as running from angry beedrill, and I found an abandoned football field and, just to make this as unbelievable as possible, it was actually located right next to the huge ass lake I never knew we had, a three mile track, and ancient prophecy stone. Sure, sure, all the pokémon were saying "Don't throw it in that lake, you'll release the demon spirit of Kantanshanakashawn!" but, please, like that thing actually exists."

"What was its name?" Tracey asked.

"Kantanshanakashawn," Natty repeated. "Don't make me say it again. So, who wants to play football with…with four on four teams…" She trailed off and groaned. "Crap. Great, now I've got to warp it even more. I wish I was more creative than this. By the way guys, I also found a box full of flag football flags! That was, we don't have to play tackle football! We can play flag football!" She smiled brightly and nodded at her accomplishment.

"I don't really like football," Ash began to moan.

"After that f—king set up you're going," Natty snarled. "You got it? All of you! What the hell? I mean, you think that I'd go through all that and do something else entirely? You all freaking know the drill so get up and let's go play flag football."

"I call score keeper!" Max shouted. Natty glared at him. "Glare all you want, I'm still the score keeper, and you're going to have to run. I win."

**

* * *

**

"Team A, Gary, Ash, Drew, and Brock. Team B, Natty, Misty, May, and Tracey." Max announced. Natty opened her mouth. "No, don't you dare say so it's girls against guys then. You should stop making fun of Tracey, Nathan."

"Hey! You called me by a guy's name!" Natty grinned, then began to laugh. "Have I mentioned you're my favorite?"

"Too many times to count," Max rolled his eyes. "It's a tie between me and Misty. The rules are, everyone gets a flag. Boys cannot strategically place their flags, _Gary_," Max glared his direction. Gary looked down at his, strategically placed (if you know what I mean), and turned them.

"I don't get it," Ash said, scratching his head. "What's Gary do with his flags?" Misty groaned and whispered in his ear. "Yeah, I know, but what does that have to do with-oh!" Ash grinned and nodded. "Forget it, I got it!"

"You're a genius, Ash, really." Misty rubbed her temples. "Max, could you explain the other rules before I kill him?"

"Sure, Mac nodded. "In order to 'tackle' someone, you rip off their flags and toss them. You don't have to toss them, but you can if you want to make someone extra far. They have to walk over to the flags, sit down, and wait for someone to score. While you're sitting, you can steal flags from other players. To make this faster, do you guys want to use half a field?" Max was blown back by the loud chorus of 'no'! "But I don't know if I can see the whole field! I need new glasses and I can't play because May already told me not to do anything that involves Misty and Ash getting competitive. What if they kill me?

"I'm not after you, Mac." Misty grinned. "I'm after Ash."

"Don't hurt me!" Ash squeaked. Misty quickly pulled out her mallet and smacked him hard over the head with it. "Misty! I asked nicely. Brock, she always hits me. Can you yell at her? _Please_?"

"No, Ash. Get up and be a man. Misty can't beat you. You're the captain of our team!" Brock encouraged. "She can't beat us! I say we pound them into the ground, show no mercy, take no prisoners!" The other two boys glared.

"Why's Ash leader?" Gary growled.

"He doesn't deserve it," Drew agreed.

"I don't even _want _to be leader," Ash moaned.

"Well, if you're all so confident, let's make things interesting." Misty said, sauntering over to a confused Ash and poking him in the chest. "We'll wager something we'd never do." She thought for a moment. "If you win, I'll get you on y knees, take your hands in mine and give you a compliment. If I win, you'll do the same. Will you take it?"

"No!" Ash cried. "I didn't even wanna play this stupid game. I know I'm going to lose. Not just that, you're going to kill me if I do win. I lose no matter what I lose. Say whatever you want, Misty. I'm not betting on a sure thing, me losing!"

"Fine Mr. Pokémon Master," she shrugged, turning away from him and walking back to her team with a small smirk gracing her face. "If you don't want to do this, we don't have to. We don't have to do anything."

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah, Ash. Of course. If you're too scared, we don't have to. I just thought that a real trainer would be brave enough. I guess you don't have what it takes to be a trainer if you won't even take a harmless bet."

"I'll take you on! You and your stupid bet are going down! I'm a great trainer and I'm not afraid of ya and…" Misty smirked at him from her team. "Ah! She got me again! How does she do that _every _time?"

"Talent," Misty giggled, trotting over to her team. "Girls, Tracey, let's talk football. The last thing we want is to loose. I don't think I'll be able to make up a compliment for Ashy over there." The rest of them began to laugh as well.

"Ashy is my name for him! I don't use Mr. Pokémon Master, you don't take mine!" Gary shouted. He glared at Ash. "Stupid Ashy-boy."

"I'm not done with the rules yet!" Mac shouted as the two groups walked off. Sadly, our favorite character (who honestly needs more fangirls) was ignored. "Fine, go ahead and ignore the 'no tackling' rule. You're all going to be black and blue."

Meanwhile, the conversation on the boys team had begun to sway from football to females. "My girlfriend is psychotic. If someone doesn't get her out right away, she'll hurt someone," Gary tried to explain. "I know she sucks at sport, but she has a lot of glomping practice!" The boys rolled their eyes.

"Okay, Gary. We'll try and get her out first. Don't you think we should have other strategies?" Brock pulled out a board and began to write on it. "We don't want to let Misty have the ball, because she can throw, dodge, and catch. She's a slow runner, but she'll be able to dodge anything we throw out."

"We have to get her out first," Drew nodded.

"Easier said then done," Brock said mournfully. "She's probably not going to let us anywhere near the flag. We should just try and get her stressed enough that she has to pass, especially to May. May can't play sports at all."

"She's that bad?"

"She's horrible. Tracey's okay. He's the average player. Natty's pretty bad, but if we're lucky she'll forget what we're playing within a few minutes."

"So we just need to work on plays?" Ash asked. The other two boys nodded. "Bet those stupid girls don't have anything like this!"

The girls sat calmly, talking and pulling at the grass. "Get the ball, run for the goal. If you can't get to the goal, throw the ball to someone who can catch and is on your team. If you can, grab flags. Grab them from anyone. It'll help us score." Misty summed up the game for May with a smile.

"Thanks for explaining."

"No problem, and listen, no pressure. Giving Ash a compliment won't kill me. Let's just have fun and do our best."

"I like this team so much better" Tracey grinned. "The other guys are so competitive. I mean, you try your best and mess up. Then they yell at you for doing everything wrong! It shouldn't matter as long as I try!"

"Oh, Tracey, that's horrible!" May consoled. "We won't do anything like that to you. We're all good at our own thing, and if you're not good at sports, why should you be yelled at for it?" May hugged him, being the sweet girl she was, and Tracey sniffled, being the sad, pathetic heap of flesh he was.

Natty merely laughed. "Baby, baby, stick your head in gravy! Wrap it up in bubble gum and send it to the navy!" Her clever childhood rhyme was rewarded with an undeserved smack to the head, sending her toppling forward to the ground. She sighed. "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor…"

**

* * *

**

"Alright, let's not hurt each other," Max explained, doing his best to avoid the bouncing girl with her hand in the air. "Let's be careful not to break any bones, scratch, hit, bite," he said, searching for other verbs. Anything to avoid that raised hand. "Ugh! Natty, what do you want?"

"When I'm tagged out, can I come sit with you?"

"No!" Max yelped.

"Aw, but why not, Maxine? I thought we were the bestest friends in the whole wide world!" She smiled up at him and hugged herself.

Max blushed, "Don't call me Maxine! Why do you want to sit with me, anyway? I'm five years younger than you! Why do you care about me?"

"I'm, like, totally your fangirl," She giggled, twirling a finger stupidly in her hair. She screamed like a girl at an NSync concert, "I love you, Max!" She screamed again, louder than before, making Max blush and cover his ears.

"I think you're scaring my brother."

"Hey, could we stay on plot? I mean, task?" Misty sweatdropped. "This one's never going to end. Ugh, I hate BSR. Can't even work a plot anymore."

"Okay, everyone. Ash's team can start with the ball. When they score, the ball goes to Misty's team. If Misty steals and scored, the ball goes back to Ash's team. Understand?" Max tossed in the football and raced off the field.

Ash tossed the ball lightly in his hands. Everyone was getting in position, and no one was particularly interested and starting the game. Brock was behind May, so he was probably the best one to throw to. Of course, he didn't count on Misty's smiling face appearing in his voice and startling him. "Hey, Ash, I'm guarding May."

"How are you guarding her? You're not even on different teams!" Ash cried.

Misty's smile grew as she easily stepped between him and Brock. I'm not letting you throw to May because she'll feel bad if Brock runs right in and takes it from her, which we both know he will. I'm keeping my friend safe from that kind of embarrassment. Why don't you throw to Tracey?"

"Why don't you try and take the ball?" Ash glared suspiciously.

"I'm a team player, unlike some people I know. I want everyone to have fun, not just us." She began to laugh. "Besides that, you're players backed up too far to hear. This was a great distraction. Just look behind you, you're flags are gone!" Ash quickly did so, leaping forward, only to discover no one was behind him, and now he felt the sudden release of pressure from his waist.

"Hey! You tricked me!" Ash cried indignantly. "Max, she can't do that!"

"Sure, she can, Ash," He laughed. "Give her the ball you're out for the play. Whatever you do, keep Natty in the game! She wants to hug me."

"I hate you," Ash said, red faced as he tossed her the ball. She caught it one handed, left handed, he noises, and played with it a bit. "Hey, I thought you were right handed." He asked, hoping he could distract her long enough to a teammate to come and snatch her flags. She didn't take the bait. Instead, she held the ball close, turned around, and barreled down the field shouting, "there's an awful lot you don't know about me, Ash!" He pouted. He didn't mind that he could loser either way anymore, but he still wanted to play.

"How'd you do that?" Brock snapped, diving for another flag. Misty went on her toes and spun out of the way of his grabbing hands, ducked under Drew's arms and raced down the last stretch of field for a touchdown. "You can't do that!"

"What?" Tracey laughed. "Be good at sports? I think she can, because she certainly is. She's gone before you even realize she's there! Are you too getting cold from the wind as she runs by?"

"Nope, but I bet they're choking on my dust!" Misty and Tracey high fived. "First touchdown! Sorry I couldn't get it to you Tracey."

"It's fine."

"I'll get it to you next time, I swear. They just wouldn't let me pass! It was bad enough I had to dodge the two lumbering giants."

"No problem," Tracey shrugged. "The whole thing is about having fun, right?"

"So does having a girl's name turn you into a girl?" Natty asked. Tracey glared. "What? You're just totally acting like a girl. It's not like that's a bad thing. I just have a problem controlling me mouth."

"Game in!" Max called.

"Hey, Drew, wanna do me a favor?" Tracey said, pointing Natty's way. Drew calmly walked by and pulled off her flags before running towards Misty, who once again had the ball. "Thank you. Natty you're out."

"For the point?"

"For the chapter!" Tracey growled.

"Aw, frick. Not again. I was banned for, like, ten chapters in a row once!" She snapped her fingers, then brightened. "Max, my love, my darling, where art thou? Come hither!"

On the other side of the field, Misty leaned back and slid over the grass, under the hands and towards the goal to score a second touch down. She fell to the ground and leaned forward, panting and gasping with the speeding heart in her chest. When was the last time she had run so much? Not since she'd traveled with Ash. "Whew, how many points we going to? How do we win this stupid game?" She leaned forward and tucked her head between her knees.

"Need water?" Brock asked, magically pulling out a bottle of water, because he has everything in his own version of hammerspace. Misty nodded mutely and took the bottle. "You have to be careful. It's been a while since you've been running around this much. Make sure you stay hydrated."

"Mmm-hmm," She said, still gulping. She fell back onto the grass with a moan, the bottle crackling as she sucked out the water without letting the air in. She dropped the bottle to the side, empty, and ran her hands through sweat soaked hair. "How can a game that goes so fast be so _hard_?" She groaned.

"You ready to give up?" Ash grinned. Misty glared and threw the ball at him, thumping him hard in the chest. "Game in." She blew past him once again, and yanked the ball out of his hands before it started. "Wanna go to five downs?"

"I think we should take a break. It's hot today," Brock pointed out, much like the author at the beginning of this one-shot. "Let's sit down and take a breather. It'll just be a minute."

"Oh no! I can do anything you boys can do!" She said, feeling a bit lightheaded.

"Come on, Misty. You're a water trainer. You're not used to the heat," Ash called. "Let's take a break. I mean, I could probably beat you in a wrestling match right now." He laughed lightly, but Misty wasn't laughing with him. She looked ticked. "I'm just kidding."

"What? You think you can beat me? Try it!" She shouted. "Come on Ash! Unless you're scared or something! You think you could take me on? Come on! I can take you." She dropped the ball and crossed her arms over her chest. "Forget the football, forget the teams, let's just get back to what this all comes down to, you and me! Face me, Ash. I'm tired, I'm hot, and probably dehysdrated, but, know what? I can take you!"

Ash, getting mad, decided there was only one this to do at this point.

He tackled her.

**

* * *

**

"You stole my flags!" Drew grumbled, back to back with May.

"You stole mine, why are you complaining?" She puffed, leaning on one hand. "Now I'm hot, sweaty, sticky…"

"That sounds dirty," Drew smirked, hoping to get a blush out of the girl. He succeeded. "Now that we're stuck here. Alone. You know what we could do that we haven't gotten to do in a long time?" He turned around and slowly pulled her close to him, kissing her neck.

"Huh, I was thinking of contests," She grinned. "I don't mind this though." Her eyes rolled down the field. "Drew! Ash and Misty are fighting! We've got to stop them! They're going to kill each other!" She tried to get to her feet, only to be yanked down by Drew. "Hey!"

"Forget them. If they were going to kill each other, they would've done it by now."

"Well, you have a point…" She trailed off. "We can leave them. They need to work all this out on their own, right?"

"Right."

**

* * *

**

After being pummeled into the ground, Misty began to fight back. She ripped the arm he was using to pin her down (and his main source of balance) out from under him, sending him down into the ground. He hit her stomach on the way down, practically knocking the wind out of her, not that he noticed. As she began to struggle up, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and brought her down again into the dirt. He leaned forward, pinning her, sweating, panting. It was too hot for this, any of this. Yet, she still found a way to buck him off and pin him down, digging her knee into his rib cage. It was by no means their most aggressive fight, but it was seeming to drag on forever.

"Mercy?" She inquired.

Ash's eyes narrowed and he shoved her off of him. The answer appeared to be an obvious no. "I don't want to fight with you today. It's too hot."

"You never complained before," she growled. "You going soft on me?"

"I know I'm going to get hurt, but are you on your period or something? One minute you're happy, the next minute you're flirty, now you're ticked at me. What's with you and mood swings? Did you get on some new medication or something?"

"No," Misty sighed. "I have been moody lately. Don't get me wrong, I'm not done. I still want to beat you up, just not as badly." She rubbed at her face. "I don't know. I've been frustrated lately. The gym's not running smoothly, my sister's are angry all the time, it's hot out…" She shrugged. "I try to ignore it, I try to preoccupy myself, and I tried letting out my anger but nothing seems to be working. I think I'm stressed."

"So you take it out on me!"

"I always take it out on you," Misty rolled her eyes. "Why shouldn't I? You're an excellent target."

"Gee Misty, thanks for that," Ash said sarcastically. "I meant that that's a bad way to handle things."

"I'm open for suggestions. What's a good way to handle things?" Misty put her head in her hands and stared at him. He stared back. "I'm not joking. Give me advice. How do I stop taking my stress out on you?"

"Get a voodoo doll?" Ash tried. Misty smiled and shook her head at him. "Well, see, that's better, you smiled! Why don't you talk to your sister's about sharing shifts at the gym, and ask them why they're always ticked about."

"Because all three of them have their you-know-what's at the same time. Trust me, that's not the best combination in the world, especially when we run out of endorphin filled foods. I have to handle the gym all by myself the first week of every month because they won't help. Sure, they say they're sorry after, but it doesn't help at all. I'm not sorry for taking it out on you. You really are the best target. Sometimes you cry."

"I'll take you out."

"Where?"

"Batting cages, bumper cars, buy a piñata and take cover while you attack it?" He chuckled. "We'll get ice cream too. Ice cream sundae's with extra chocolate fudge. I'll even pay, even though you really should be the one who's paying."

"Why?" She laughed. "I'm the girl."

"But I always pay. A good friend would pay every once in a while."

"Yeah, but you don't sound like you're talking to a good friend," she laughed harder. "You sound like you're talking to a date. What now, Ash? I'm your date? You're going to take me out for a romantic night on the town and we'll fall in love?"

He let her laugh for a minute, fuming, and then decided there was only one way to shut her up. "Well, duh, Misty, that was the plan."

The look on her face made it clear enough that this was something he couldn't back down from. He had to admit, it _was _a nice goodnight kiss. Even if it was supposed to be a joke…

**

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**

Guys, sorry this sucked. My creative juices are being sucked dry for a bit. I think it's because I'm craving action. None of the adventure fics I like are being updated (not with action) and I've run out of horror. I've been listening to the freaking 'Enchanted' Soundtrack for the last three days! I want violence, not romance…They'll come back, they always do. But I've got ANOTHER one-shot (a lot better than what I wrote here) already written and needing to be typed up. I'm writing so much I'm starting to pay attention during class!

IF ANYONE WRITES ME A REVIEW TELLING ME TO REMOVE THIS CHAPTER, I'LL TAKE IT RIGHT OFF. THIS WASN'T SATISFYING IN THE LEAST. I DID HORRIBLY, but I also have low self esteem so maybe I'm wrong (though I doubt it. I'm sure it sucks). I DON'T BLAME YOU IF YOU HATE IT, JUST BE HONEST. I'M ALWAYS LOOKING TO IMPORVE!


	34. AM What You Do In Your Sleep

Anyone see the new episode of DP? It had Gary. Anyone notice they made Gary stupid? His last line? "Hey, Ash, friends 'til the end?" WHAT. THE. HELL?

Dawn also has, like, a mega crush on Gary. What's that shipping called? Biggest hints yet...

* * *

**AAML**

"We're going to wake up Misty!" May gasped as Ash slid in the horror movie. They sat comfortably in his house, getting ready for movie night, while the sleeping girl in question was nestled on the couch, her breathing even. "She'll be mad. I've seen her cranky. It's not pretty. Shouldn't you be a little more freaked out? You're sitting on the sofa. She'll go for you first and get most of her anger out of you."

Ash smirked. This wasn't a problem. It turns out he was one of the few people who understood the teen. Okay, well maybe he didn't quite understand her. Actually, he barely understood her. He did know some things, however, and that was all he needed for now. "You don't need to worry, May."

"What are you smirking about?" Drew asked. "Misty's going to beat the crap out of you. No one's going to help, either. Last time I tried to save you from the yellow, orange and red blur that tackled you into the ground I was held back by your closest friends and family. Your mom said to me, 'Oh, don't worry, my Ashy can handle himself'. You're going to be bruised and broken. Do you really want to take the chance?"

"Misty's not going to hurt me!" He smiled proudly.

"Why?"

"Because she's sleeping!" He laughed cockily. Yes, Ash was a brilliant boy. All his friends were staring at him. Staring with awe, he supposed. After that, he figured they were marveling at his greatness, he's genius, or at least he did until they all started yelling at him. Later on, he figured they were shocked at how stupid he must've sounded at that moment.

"Ash! You idiot!" Max snapped. "She can wake up! once she's finished with you, she might still be ticked! Maybe she'll be ticked enough that she'll come after us, and I don't want to get hurt! I'm finally older enough to get hit by the mallet!" He shuddered. Ash did too. It was a scary thought. "You better have a trick up your sleeve."

"I'm sure he does," Brock said, wandering in with a bowl of popcorn. "What did you do to her last night, Ash? How late was she up? She has a gym, now. You can't just steal her whenever you feel like it. She's got responsibilities too."

"Don't worry Brock, it was only one all nighters. It's not that bad, right?" He grinned. "We've done worse before. What was our record, three days straight? She's probably going to sleep in a little later tomorrow, definitely all through the night. I'm sure she'll wake up in the morning, though."

"What you do? Put a date rape drug in her hot chocolate?" Drew asked. "There's got to be a date rape drug involved."

"There's no date rape drug. Misty just can't stay up for two days in a row when she's got to battle the next day whereas Ash practically runs on a mix of caffeine, sugar, and energy drinks. That isn't healthy," Brock warned. "You're going to pay for it later in life."

"Hey, Pikachu, watch it!" Ash said quickly as the little mouse scampered along the back of the couch. He looked up and cocked his head to the side, then began rapidly yelling at Ash in his own little pokélanguage. "Hey, just a warning! Do you want to end up in Misty's chokehold? I can't find another pokémon like you! We've got a battle tomorrow and I don't need you tired. If you're going to sleep with her tonight you're not going to be able to move. You know how she'll hug anything when she's knocked out."

(Well, no duh, Ash. I was there.) He slid down and nestled in Misty's arms. (Don't worry, I'll be fine for the battle tomorrow.)

"How'd you figure that out?" Max asked innocently.

Ash avoided eye contact. "Figure what out? I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you do Ash," Brock said with an evil grin.

"Brock! Shut up!" Ash snapped. "You promised! You better keep your promise! If you don't, I'm never going to trust you ever again. I won't tell you anything! I won't tell you where I'm going, what I'm doing, if I've got a girlfriend, anything!"

"Relax, Ash," Brock cooled his temper. "I'm not going to tell anyone. You're secret's safe with me. Just play the movie." Hearts suddenly appeared in his eyes, "I heard that Officer Jenny from Viridian is in this one!"

"Don't you think of anything besides girls?" May scolded. Her anger disappeared as the lights began to dim. One leg crossed over the other and she leaned forward excitedly in her chair while Drew and Max lay down on the floor. "This is supposed to be the best horror film of the year and all you can think about is the women!"

"According to your diary, all you think about is Dr-ow!" Max grabbed the back of his where his sister had smacked him. He grumbled and tried to soothe the bump, not finishing his sentence in case may decided to hit him again.

"According to the rating, you shouldn't be watching this movie. It's rated R for nudity and swearing. Do you really think you're old enough to handle this?" Drew asked suspiciously, flipping the case over reflectively.

"Hey, I'm thirteen and I watch South Park," Max snorted. "There's nothing I don't know about nudity and swearing."

"What's mastication?" Max pulled a face. "I know what you're thinking, but you're wrong. Masticate means to chew. Since you got it wrong, you're not allowed to watch this movie." Brock smirked.

"Apparently I can't either," Drew mumbled. "I just want to hear the story Ash doesn't want us to know."

"Why? It's a stupid story!" Ash tried to sway him.

"If you don't want us to know, it's probably a funny story," Drew grinned as Ash fast forwarded through the previews. Ash was starting to get a little annoyed that his family hadn't gotten a DVD player yet, and instead had to live with stupid VHS. "Enlighten me. I'll tell you after I've heard it if it was worth hearing."

"You don't need to know, watch the movie," Ash said, blushing. He pushed Misty's legs out of the way, which only resulted in a strong kick to his back that sent him spiraling to the floor. He tried again, this time managing to land on the couch with Misty's feet pushing into his leg, apparently still trying to get him off.

The movie started, and, as in all good fanfics, Ash had a long flashback that makes up almost the entire story, and the author just wanted to make the one-shot longer by adding in an almost completely useless scene at the beginning. In this flashback, Ash was ten years old, three months, two weeks, and four days old. Also, he was six hours, twenty three minutes, and thirty two seconds old but who ever goes into that much detail?

**

* * *

**

Ash Ketchum did not get scared.

He wasn't ever scared of anyone or anything. He laughed at ghosts, goblins, and vampires. He snorted in the face of peril. He backed down to no monster. Why? He was a hero, first and foremost. Before he was Ash K, the Pokémon Master, fantastic trainer, compassionate, caring and loving, he was the Chosen One, the boy who saved the world.

But, before that, when there was no world to save, no pokémon to train, he was a boy. He was a small, young, easily terrified when the lights went out little kid. That Ashy-boy got nightmares. Usually, that didn't matter. He would jolt awake, hear the quiet snoring of his two best friends, and fall back asleep knowing he was safe with Pikachu and two great gym leaders nearby. However, Pikachu was sick, and they had each gotten their own bedroom. He was alone in the dark, had just awoke from a nightmare, and he was absolutely terrifed.

He lay there for a few minutes, staring up at the ceiling with his heart pounding in his chest. Ash's mind came up with all sorts of terrifying images and creature in the dark, pictures he couldn't banish. A houndour outside howled at the moon as the final straw. He leapt from the bed and pounded down the hall, wanting to get as gar from that room full of horrors as possible. He rushed into the nearest room and closed the door quickly behind him, hyperventilating.

There was gentle breathing in the room. It wasn't locked, either, but had a Do Not Disturb sign he had banged his hand against on the way in. That could only mean that it was one of his two friends, since they were the only three with non operating locks. Ash didn't make that much money. He needed discounts where he could get them. But which one could it be? Both would be awkward.

"I've got a mallet and I know how to use it!" The voice said, waking up.

Saying a word out of character, the terrified boy shut his eyes and breathed faster, whispering, "oh crap, not Misty."

"I hear you!" Misty snapped. "Go ahead, walk over here! I dare you! I'll kill you! You get out of my room or I'll bring out my pokémon! I'm the Cerulean gym leader, you think you can take me? You're dead!"

"Misty, it's me!" Ash hissed.

"…Ash?" She asked slowly.

"No, it's Pikachu," Ash muttered, embarrassed. Maybe it would've been better to have wound up in Brock's room. It might've been embarrassing, but at least Brock wouldn't beat him up and then send him back outside.

"What are you doing in my room? Get out of here! I'm trying to get some sleep, you idiot!" She chucked a pillow at his head and hit her mark.

"Hey! I thought we were friends, Mist," Ash whined.

Misty blew her bangs out of her face irritably. "We are, Ash, we're great friends, we're fantastic friends. You know that I'll always be here for you, thick and thin, through rain and snow, wind and hail."

"Thanks," Ash smiled.

"Now," Misty said, sling back. It turned into a frown. "Get out of my room!" She shouted, chucking another pillow at him, then stopped. "Wait, is something wrong with Pikachu? He's okay, isn't he? Ash! I'm sorry! He's fine, right?"

"Pikachu's fine," Ash said quietly. He sat down on the floor. "I haven't heard anything yet. They won't let me in to see. I wish I could be there with him."

"Don't worry, Ash, he's a fighter. He'll pull through. She's been through way worse. Go back to bed, we'll see her in the morning. By tomorrow we'll be camping." He voice drooped with sadness. "No more hotel rooms, no more air conditioning, no more beds. I'll just be with the stupid trees and disgusting bugs and you boys. Hmph, if it wasn't for that bike I'd be comfortable in a gym right now!"

Ash beamed up at her, "One day you're going to miss camping. You'll be old with thirteen children and eighty six grandchildren and you'll own a huge hotel but you'll want to go camping all the time."

"And to finish that nightmare, I'll be married to you, Ash! Now get out before I throw something _heavy _at your head, like a three thousand page hardcover dictionary!"

"Oh yeah? Well you're a three thousand page hardcover dictionary!"

"That's the dumbest insult I've ever heard!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Drop dead, Ash! I'm tired! Goodnight!" She turned her back on him and pulled the covers up, muttering just loud enough for Ash to hear if he strained his ears. "Stupid boy, don't know why he even came in here. I hate him so much. I wish he'd die. Just drop dead. Stupid boy. I want my bike back. Stupid boy."

"Mist," he whispered, crawling over to her bed. He kneeled at the side of the queen sized cot and set his chin on the edge. "Can I sleep here with you tonight? Please?"

That woke her up. She shot up so fast Ash fell backward onto the carpet. Her hand ran through her hair, a little nervous at the question. She glared at him. "Are you crazy, Ash? Get back to your room!"

"What's wrong with it?" Ash asked. "I'm scared. I had a bad dream and Pikachu isn't there and I don't want to go back in the hallway because it's really scary out there. Please let me sleep here tonight."

"No."

"_Why?_"

"Shut up!"

"Tell me _why_?"

"Girls and boys aren't supposed to sleep in the same bed or even the same room together. If you were eleven like me and you were smart like me, you'd know that. You can sleep on the floor in the hallway or in your bed."

"but married people sleep together, don't they?"

"Well, duh, Ash. It doesn't count if you're married or if you're really little. It only counts if you're big kids, like us."

"Well, we're both kinda short."

"No, would you get out of here!"

Ash crawled close to Misty and came eye to eye with her in the darkness. Her eyes were closed. She was trying to get to sleep again, even though she should've known by then it was pointless. "Misty," he whispered. "Please. Why not? Tell me why!" Her eyes opened again, and she yelped at the short distance between them. She didn't move this time, starting to get tired. "Good, you're up, now let me in."

"No!" She said, beginning to search for an answer. "Girls and boys aren't supposed to sleep together ever, ever, ever, ever! It's a rule and it's an important rule. We have to follow rules." She nodded surely, and plopped back down.

"What's the point of following the rule if you don't know why you're following it. I'm not going to hurt you, you're not going to hurt me. I'll be gone before Brock wakes up. No one'll know and I'll be able to get some sleep."

"What if something goes wrong with Pikachu and we have to run out? They'll see us come out of the same room and they'll know what's going on. It could happen, and with our luck, it _will_ happen!"

"We'll say we were talking," Ash worked his way out of yet another plot hole. "We're talking. It's not a lie. See? We won't get in trouble. Don't make me go back. It's really creepy in my bed."

"But Ash," Misty whined. "I kick in my sleep."

"You kick in the day," Ash snorted. "Wanna see the bruise you gave me today? It's so cool looking. It's yellow now but you can't really see it because it's so dark in here." He began to pull up his pants and look at his leg.

"Ash, go away, please?" She begged.

"Why?"

She sighed and blushed, thanking her lucky stars the room wasn't lit. "Okay, Ash. I…I tend to, uh, hug things when I'm sleeping." He heard her shift uncertainly. "I hug anything, even people. Well, except my sisters."

"What do you do to them?"

"I kick them out of the bed." She grinned. "It hilarious, except when I wake up and all of a sudden my sisters are beating me up with a pillow and stealing my diary to read over the gym speakers whenever we had a show."

"Okay, how about you wait until I fall asleep and then you go back to my bed?" Ash suggested. She smacked him across the back of the head. "What? That solves both our problems. It's just for one night."

"No way!" I have to stay awake and watch you fall asleep, then I have to walk down the hall and fall asleep! By the time that happens it'll be morning and I'll be exhausted. I won't wake up for anything." She sighed. "I probably won't wake up at all know. It's too late. Ash, you're so selfish. I deserve to get some sleep too. What makes you so special that you're allowed to keep me up?"

Ash sighed. He couldn't believe he would sink so low. There went the last bit of his dignity. "Because Pikachu's sick and I'm nervous and I'm scared cuz I just had a nightmare and I don't wanna be alone and," he sighed and made puppy dog eyes, "I'm just a kid."

Misty stared at him, searching for something she could say that wasn't completely heartless. She only come up with one. She scooted back, lifted the covers, and groaned. "Get in, Ash, just for tonight."

"Thank you, Misty! If it wouldn't be so weird I could kiss you!" He scrambled into bed and curled up with her, still smiling. Thanks a bunch."

"Welcome," She sighed, turning her back to him and closing her eyes. "Hey, Ash, if you don't mind me asking, what was your it about? Er, I mean, your nightmare. Was it about, like, a monster or something?"

"Well, you know how we first met, one of my first days as a trainer?"

"Yeah."

"You remember those spearow that were chasing me?"

"Oh, Ash, don't tell me you're still scared of those spearows!" Misty gasped.

"I'm not scared!" Ash argued. "I just get nightmares about them sometimes. I think they tried to kill me. So I should be allowed to have nightmares sometimes. I think they tried to kill me, so I could have nightmares sometimes. Doesn't make me a baby or anything. I'm not a baby. Even grown-ups get scares sometimes, right Misty?"

"Why are you asking me, Ash? I dunno about that. I'm eleven. Do I look like a grown up?" She mumbled, hugging her pillow, hoping Ash wouldn't ask for hers. Apparently, he didn't care, because he just kept on talking.

"But besides Brock and my mom, you're the most grown up person I know. That, or you're really good at pretending. You'd know if grown-ups got scared. Don't you know practically everything?" He asked.

"I don't know everything."

"You know more than me." Then, in a much quieter tone, "I can't believe you know more than me. I got beaten by a girl!"

Misty giggled, "So I beat you in Scrabble. You're not the best with words. Stick to training, Ash. Maybe you'll get somewhere." She frowned. "Ash! You're waking me up now! Thanks a lot!" Her arms crossed over her chest and she gave him a sharp kick to the back of his legs. "Show me that bruise tomorrow!"

"Hey!" he giggled. "Now you're keeping me up. If you want to go to sleep you're going to have to get me asleep first." He taunted. "Now I just feel wide awake. Sorry Misty, I don't think I'm going to get to sleep at all tonight."

"I could hit you so hard you get knocked out? How's that for getting you to sleep, you jerk?" Ash snickered. Misty's frown reappeared. "What do you want from me? Warm milk? A freaking bes time sotry?"

"Bed time story!" Ash grinned. "I'll try my best to fall asleep, promise Misty." He tried his cutest smile out of her, but she still wasn't looking his way. He tapped her shoulder. "Please, Misty! You want me to sleep, right?" He turned around so they were back to back again and waited for her to began to talk.

"I hate you so much," Misty said through gritted teeth. "Once upon a time there was a happy region called Maiso. Everyone in the region was very happy. In fact, they were so happy, they sang songs all day long about magical rainbows and sunshine. They were friends with pokémon and worked together in perfect harmony, sending joy throughout the magic kingdom of Maiso." Ash thought of correcting her and explaining that, not too long ago, she had called it a region, but thought better of it. "Suddenly, a burning fire ball of hell came down from the sky and killed everyone in a fiery apocalypse like the scary movie marathon we watched three nights ago in that really pretty hotel. The end."

"That wasn't a bedtime story. That was just a really bad campfire story," Ash remarked. "Hm, maybe you should try a lullaby to help me fall asleep. I love lullabies, and you can sing pretty, can't you?"

" 'Rock a bye, Ashton, in the deep lake, swimming under the rock, while the ground starts to shake. Ten the rocks slip, they'll hit Ash's head, and if Misty's lucky the boy will be dead.' " Misty sang quietly, her teeth starting to grind together.

"You made that up just for me?" Ash asked with false appreciation. "I love it."

"That's a lullaby I wrote for myself," Misty snapped.Ash yawned and snuggled under the covers. He felt at home, almost, with the sound of an angry woman yelling at him. "That's why I hum it so often. You know, Ash, I honestly don't know what's wrong with you. You're so happy all the time. You're so brace, but you run into my room the second you get a nightmare. Why couldn't you have gone into Brock's room and bothered him and…Ash?" The boy she thought she was speaking to had begun to snore quietly. Of course, when she wasn't trying, _that's _when he fell asleep. She was feeling a little tired herself, though. She slipped under the covers again and let her eyes closed, promising it would just be for a second. Then she'd run back to his bed and get a good night's sleep.

Well, we all know that didn't happen, because if it did, this would be one pointless and boring and disappointing fanfic, now wouldn't it?

**

* * *

**

"Good morning, Ash," Came the sniggering voice. "Did you sleep well?"

Ash rubbed his eyes drowsily. Actually, e had slept great that night. He hadn't had a single nightmare after stealing Misty's bed. He had a weird dream with him and Misty, but he didn't want to talk about that one. Just thinking about it made his stomach feel funny. "Yup, slept great, why?"

"Oh, nothing," Brock chuckled.

"Ash tried to get up, then came to the frightening realization that he couldn't. "Brock! Something's got me! You've got to help me! Punch them or get out your pokémon or something! Don't just stand there!"

"I'm not the kind of guy who goes after Sleeping Beauty."

"Sleeping Beauty?" Ash repeated. "What do you mean by that?"

"Ash, how many people do you travel with?" Brock asked slowly, still smirking. He couldn't wait for the reaction when the boy figured this one out.

"Three."

"Really, who are they?" Brock raised an eyebrow.

"You, Pikachu, and Misty," Ash said proudly.

"Okay, good answer," Brock agreed. "Now, if I'm standing in front of you, and Pikachu's in the emergency ward, there's one missing. Ash, do you remember where Misty was last night? We're in room one thirty two, think about your answer."

Ash paled. "Misty!" His mouth dropped open and he looked behind him. Sure enough, Misty's arms were wrapped tightly around his waist. "Misty! Wake up! Get up! It's morning! You're doing the hugging thing!"

"Well, Ash, it doesn't look like Misty's waking up so-"

"It's not what it looks like!" He said hurriedly. "Brock, you've gotta help me! She's hugging me and I don't know what to do! Can we not talk about this? Just wake her up, please! This is really weird!"

"So Ash, why don't you tell me what you were doing in Misty's room? Did you finally tell her you madly in love and spend the whole night kissing?" He teased, putting his hands in his pockets. As far as he knew, neither of the two knew what intercourse was, and the two of them wouldn't be making out anytime soon. He wasn't worried about anything happening between the two kids. The odds that they would admit they liked each other were thin. The odds they actually kissed were much thinner.

"Brock!" He flushed. "That's not funny! I had a nightmare and I didn't want to be alone! Misty told me not to but I couldn't help it! I didn't know we'd end up like this! Now she won't wake up!"

Ash thrashed for a second, then went stiff. Misty's arms reflexively held tighter, her fingers lightly brushing against a patch of skin his shirt had slid away from. Her face buried down into his shoulder. He felt weird, freaky, tingly. All in all, it wasn't a bad feeling. It was still freaking the poor boy out, and he was already freaked out to began with. He did _not _want to be there at all. "Brock! Help me!" he squeaked desperately.

"Why, Ash, you look comfortable? Misty seems to be happy too."

"But Brock!" Ash gasped desperately. "She's _touching _me. I mean, she's never even shook my hand before! She doesn't touch and now she's touching me!" Ash panicked, afraid to thrash again in case she pulled him closer.

"You should be glad, Ash. People would kill to have one of the Sensational Sisters holding them like that. Especially if they had a crush on the one that was holding them like…" He grinned and gestured to the two.

"I don't like her!" Ash shouted, "She just won't let me go! It's her fault and she's sleeping so it's just an accident! Wake her up!"

Brock calmly stood up, strode out of the room, then returned with an ice bucket filled with water, still cold from the ice that melted the night before. He turned it over and splashed both of them, soaking Misty through, but only dampening Ash. Misty leapt up, gasping at the sudden chill. "Brock! Why'd you do that?" Misty squealed. "I was comfy!"

"I'll say," Brock smirked.

"Huh?"

"Cuddling with your little boyfriend had to be one of the nicest ways to sleep, huh?" Brock began laughing as a look of horror draped across Misty's face. "Hey, Misty, you look a little scared. Are you afraid I'll find out what you did last night."

"It's not what you think!" She cried. "Ash! He had a nightmare! It's a long story Brock but I warned him! I _told _him I hugged thing in my sleep but he wouldn't leave! He would listen! He's…he's horrible Brock!"

"That's not what you thought _before_," Brock chuckled. "You seemed to like hugging him a lot. You didn't even want to let him go. You just kept hugging him tighter and tighter."

"But…but I can't help what you do in my sleep," Misty gasped desperately. "You can't make fun of my for thins I can't control! It's not like I meant too, I was sleeping and it happened! I can't control that!"

Ash, seeing his chance to finally make fun of the only female friend he had, jumped right in. "Yeah, Misty! Do you _like _me or something? Do you wanna _kiss _me?"

"Well, if you think everything you do in your sleep is really how you feel, then maybe you and Misty should be a couple. With the things you were saying when you walked in this morning, I thought…well, maybe I should get a second opinion and find out what Misty thinks."

"Wait!" Ash stopped him, beginning to blush. "Er, wuh-what was I, uh, um, saying?" Ash stuttered out. Brock waved him closer. Ash looked uneasy for a moment, then jumped off the bed and over to Brock. As the older boy began to whisper, Ash paled. "I didn't say that! You're lying, Brock!"

"Yes you did."

"Nuh-uh!"

"Ash, yes you did," Brock said, rolling his…eyes…(A/N: Not going there, NOT going there) "You say that stuff almost every morning. If you don't believe it, I'll get a tape recorder and you can hear yourself say it."

"Fine," Ash blushed. "You win this time. But you better not tell anyone about this…or what I say in my sleep!"

"I have to tell Misty _something_, Ash. You have to be on equal ground." Brock smirked in the girl's direction. "On of the things he says is all about how he doesn't want you to leave him and he's sorry he's so mean to you."

Ash flushed again, racing out the door with Brock following, explaining Pikachu runs the _other _way. Meanwhile, Misty quietly pulled the pillow to her chest and grinned to herself. "I got to hug Ash Ketchum," she sang quietly, twisting back and forth. "I got to hug Ash Ketchum. I don't even care if I was sleeping!"

Ash's head popped back in. "Hey, Misty. Aren't ya comin'? Whatchya doin' with that pillow?" Her answer? A pillow to the back of the head and shriek of 'get out'!

**

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**

I'm turning out a lot of AAML. I think it's because of the overwhelming amount of DAML. Jees, I thought pokeshipping owned the fandom, but no. Contestshipping pwns all, turns out. They're are turning out more and more each day. It's like a 1:5 ratio of any other shipping: contestshipping.

I mean, holy jees, you guys are writing a LOT.

No offense to the people who like them, but I'm getting really sick of May and Dawn being so happy all the time.

Whether you're near, or whether you're far, it makes authors happy when you R and R!


	35. AM Party Time

Well…it's an AAML again. Contestshippers must be angry with me…Er, if you guys do want contestshipping you can skip to the most recent chapter of my other story. Heh…sorry 'bout that.

Natty's gonna try and describe clothes today, yes she is. Go, Natty, go!

* * *

**AAML**

"Oh, Daisy, please! Do we…do we have to have a party?" Misty asked weakly, close to begging. "Can't we just call it off now? At least let me go back upstairs and change into some _real _clothes! Not this…monstrosity of a dress you've put me in! You know I can't stand this kind of thing. Daisy, you know I hate parties so why won't you let me go for once?" She smoothed her itchy blue dress, a young girl's dress, and played with the collar. It obviously wasn't a dress to flatter her figure. It was made of a simple, thick pastel blue cloth that ended halfway down her calf. There was a bit of white lace sewed along the collar and the very bottom of the dress. Her hair had been blow dried to give it a slight curl inward at the bottom, ending just a bit above her shoulders. She was in stockings and pastel blue flats, but a pair of shoes were the closest thing to an accessory that she wore. She looked just like she should. She wasn't sexy, she wasn't hot. She was cute, like a twelve year old should be. "My legs still hurt!"

"Shush" Daisy scolded.

"But you waxed 'em, Daisy! It hurt! I didn't want to get them waxed but you had to do it your way! You never listen to me!" She was actually doing her best to stop complaining. She hadn't said a thing about how cold her legs were because of the opening and closing door. She also hadn't made a comment about the hole she'd been playing with in her stockings that ended just high enough to be covered by her dress. However, this was a bit more for her own selfish reasons than to take stress of her sister.

"Misty," She said warningly.

"But Daisy!"

_Smack! _Misty was awarded for her accurate complaints with a smack to her head. "You, like, stop complaining! I'll, like, give you something to whine about!" Her sister gave her a rough shoulder shake and began to fix and play with her hair. She fixed it carefully, then roughly pinched her cheeks despite the complaints. "That'll keep, like, them red for a while. If you don't, like, quit taking off you lipstick I'm pinching them too. Like, Misty! You're nails! We're, like, going to have to mix up some of that cayenne pepper nail polish you, like, so much." She straightened the dress as Misty whimpered at the thought.

"I hate peppers!" She whispered venomously. Daisy gave her a light smack across the face. "I'm sorry, Daisy, but you have to let me go! You have to let me go upstairs right now!"

"I, like, don't have to do anything. You'll get to see Ash, how'd that sound for you?"

"It sounds horrible!" She cried. "He's going to make fun of me! It's not like I _care _what he thinks of me, but nobody likes being made fun of!" Misty complained. Daisy steered her over to the food and put a small cheese quiche in her hand. "I can eat as many of these as I want, can't I?"

"That's right," She grinned. "And, like, if Ash makes fun of you, make fun of him, like back. I mean, think about it. He'll, like, totally be in a tux." Misty was giggling before Daisy continued in a light, teasing voice. "You know, Ash is probably going to look _very _handsome tonight."

Misty flushed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, you know. Like, maybe you'll want to tell him how nice he looks and, like, he'll compliment you back," She implied. She fixed some of the appetizers and avoided eye contact with her little sister, trying to keep her temper under control.

"I wouldn't know. He's just my friend. Besides, I doubt Ash could ever look very handsome. He always looks like a dimwit to me!"

Daisy smiled as Misty popped a cheese quiche in her mouth. "Like, that's what your mouth says, but the blush on your face says different. Does, like, little sister have a little crush?" She teased. She picked the perfect time to say it too. Misty could only blush as she chewed the food in her mouth, manners beaten into her for years. Don't talk with your mouth open and that she didn't.

"No!" Misty shouted once she'd finished. "I don't Daisy! Would you stop pairing me up with every guy I've ever met? If I find a guy, I'll find a guy and that's all there is to it. You're not as great a matchmaker as you think you are! Really! Ash and me? That's a relationship that'll go right down the drain. Humph, Ash and me." She crossed her arms over her chest and turned her back on Daisy. "I'm too good for him anyway!"

"Like, whatever you say, little sister," Daisy giggled. The doorbell rang yet again. "Hey, Misty, could you, like, get that for me?"

Misty's eyes narrowed but she stomped off to the door. She unlocked the top quickly, but hesitated before opening the door. She didn't want anyone to see her like this! She moved behind the door and decided to use it as her own shield. If it was Ash, she could slame the door, have Daisy get it, and hide under the table while eating a tray of cheese quiches. If it was someone who, thankfully, wouldn't laugh, she'd open the door. The plan was flawless. She shuffled back for a second before hearing "Pikachupi!" And slamming the door. "Daisy, you get it!" The group heard from outside.

"Misty, like, get the damn door already!"

"But Ash is gonna make fun of me! You get it and I'll go hide. Hey! Get away from me! Daisy! Lemme go you-OW!" There was a loud smack and the door opened. Misty was caught in her sister's grip of doom around the back of her neck, her eyes and head down. She made a sad attempt to escape, but it was easily stopped.

"Hello, it's, like, great of you to come. After all the time you, like, invited us over for the holidays we, like, figured it was our turn to invite you over." Daisy pulled sharply on Misty's hair with her free hand, attempting to pull her out of her submissive position.

"Ow, don't!" She whined.

"Stop staring at the floor and like, say hello."

Misty looked up from under short bangs. Ash was already smirking, looking like he was trying to not snigger, but failing. She managed to force out and angry sounding. "Hullo, Ash," before turning scarlet. Her older sister walked away calmly, leaving her alone.

" 'Lo Misty," Ash giggled.

His mother twisted his ear roughly, making him squeal. "Don't you make fun of Misty, Ash Ketchum. She looks absolutely darling and it's horrible of you to mock her."

"Hello Mrs. Ketchum," she said in a rush. "Thanks for coming. It's nice to see you tonight. You're the first ones here, feel free to eat some snacks…or watch the Thanksgiving football game we recorded though it's old and I'm sure you wouldn't want to see it. You can probably find something on the television to watch. There's a few good shows on. Okay, I'm rambling, sorry." She looked back to the floor.

"It's fine, Misty," Mrs. Ketchum said kindly. "I'm sure you're just excited about the party. I've heard your sisters have wine coolers."

"Excited, yeah, that's the word for it," Misty rolled her eyes. "Yeah, there's wine coolers. Just asked my sisters, they'll show you where they are."

"Thank you." She swept past Ash and Misty, bring her son in and closing the door behind her.

"nice dress, Misty," Ash snickered. "I don't think it really fits, since you're so scrawny and all. Bet your arms and skinny body barely even fit in there, right?"

"Oh, put a can in it Ash!" Misty snarled. She was still red, mostly because Ash was right for reasons he didn't understand. This was her sister's old dress (one Violet had hated), and though she was taller enough to fit in the dress perfectly, it had needed to be taken in o it wouldn't fall off her chest.

"But you're in a dress!"

"I may be in a dress,, but you're in a tux. You shut up about what I'm wearing! It's not like I wanted to get all dressed up! I was forced into these clothes!"

"I was too," Ash snapped. "I was on a pokémon journey, and now I'm here. This sucks! Do you have any idea how much I hate you right now! You had to have this stupid party and invite me over and now I'm stuck in this ugly thing while you strut around all pretty!"

"Oh, it's _my _fault we're stuck at this," her voice lowered for the next word cautiously, "_crappy _party! Let me tell you something, Ash Ketchum, you are horribly mistaken!"

"Fine, I get it. You're not having fun either. It's not your fault. Don't hit me, okay? Mom'll be real mad if I get blood all over this stupid thing." He played with his tux to show what the 'stupid thing' was. "So how're we supposed to have fun? Are we gonna pull some pranks?"

"No, Ash, we're not going to pull pranks. My sisters have been planning this party forever. Do you have any idea how mad they're going to be if we screw this up for them?"

"So how do we have freaking fun?"

"Well…I've got an awesome new video game," Misty said, grinning a bit.

"Yeah? Does it have blood and violence and stuff?"

"Loads," She giggled. "not only that, I've got two controllers and a player versus player and we can beat the curd out of each other! It's rated T, it's so cool! My sisters don't know I have it, so you can't tell her, okay?" Ash nodded eagerly. "Great! Let's go."

"I think my mom's getting drunk off win coolers," Ash sighed. Misty followed his eyes to see his mother down drink after drink. "That means we better stay out of her sight tonight. I hate it when mom gets drunk. Lucky it's only every once in a while. Looks like tonight's one of those nights."

"Why should we stay out of her sight?" Misty asked.

"Because we'll be kissing all night."

"Wha?"

"See, my mom's psycho. If she sees me near you, she'll go crazy! She'll start talking about oh, how cute, little Ashy had a girlfriend! Then she'll tell me to kiss you. I won't say no to her, especially to stop her from talking about her precious boy being too scared to kiss his little girlfriend, I'm never going to have grandkids!" Ash attempted to mimic his mom, poorly. Misty giggled. "What are you laughing at?"

"That was supposed to be you mom? It just sound like you, only higher. You loser, I could probably impersonate you better than what you just did!"

"Shut up, Misty!" Ash said, blushing. "Come on, let's just go play that video game. We can come down for dinner, can't we? What are we having, anyway?"

"Pork. It's really good. It's practically _dripping _with fat," she sighed euphorically. Ash was shifting nervously. She glared at him accusingly. "What are you about to say, Ash?"

"You didn't make it, right?" Ash asked hopefully. She hit him. "Hey, I was just curious. Man…"

**

* * *

**

"Where are you two going?" Brock asked with a wicked grin at the two preteens. "The party's barely getting started. We were just about to start slow dancing. You two don't want to miss that little show, do you? I'm sure you can have lots of fun listening to your favorite songs."

"Heh heh. Uh, I think I'll pass on this one Brock. I'm more of a rock n' roll kind of guy myself," Ash said nervously, trying to back away. The two youngsters were blocked by the massive (to them) body of Tracey, also grinning like mad at the two trapped kids. "Tracey, uh, we were tryin' to get through this way so…so Tracey ya gonna move or are you just gonna stand there."

"Hey Ash, Misty was sweet enough to invite you to this party. I think you ought to repay her somehow. But how? How could you repay her? Do you have any ideas, Brock?" Tracey asked tauntingly. Ash and Misty stiffened. First talking about the dance, now they had moved on to Ash 'repaying' her. This wasn't good.

"Well, I can think of a few, but I've got one really good one. They could…nah, it's way too drastic for the two of them. They're not up to the challenge. I mean, it's not like they've saved the world or anything. You have to at least save the world to be brave enough for this."

"But Brock! Haven't you heard? Ash did save the world! Besides, he still owes Misty a bike. That's why you've been following him all this time, isn't that right?" Tracey put a hand on Misty's shoulder. She began to blush under all three's prying glances.

"Uh…yeah," Misty said. "but I'd really rather be paid in cash, a new bike, or indentured servant for the next three years." Both of them attempted a getaway, but were brought back together. Two failures for Misty in one night, it was a bad day for the pokémon world. "Can we go Tracey, please?"

"Aw, no. You can't cut Brock off like that. It's rude. You don't want to be rude to Brock, do you?" The two, defeated, shook their heads. "I thought so. Brock, why don't you tell us what your plan was? I'd love to hear it, and they would too. Right?"

"Love too," The two muttered crossly.

"Now, what if Ash asked Misty to dance-"

"What?!"

"To a nice slow song? Not anything complicated, since I know Ash can't dance. You two can just get real close and sway to the music. Won't that be sweet? I think it'll be just lovely. It'll be straight out of a Disney movie, don't you agree Tracey?" He laughed.

"I'm still hungry!" Misty thought quickly, racing and hiding under the snack table. Of course, she did have to come back to grab the cheese quiches before vanishing again.

Then, his mother came. She was drunk, staggering, and had a ditzy grin on her face. Ash couldn't help but wonder how many drinks she must've had. He didn't know much about alcohol, but he did know there wasn't all that much in wine coolers. She had to have drank a lot of them. She threw her arms around her son and held him close, rocking back and forth, mostly because she couldn't completely stand upright, but also to 'soothe' him. "Oh! My little boy! You're all grown up Ashy! Yesterday you were just a little one, running and…and wrestling with Gary and learning how to read and now you're all grown up! Soon you'll be out of my life forever with a wife or husband and lots of small children running around!"

"Or husband?" Ash repeated.

"I need grandchildren Ash. When you've gotten married and gotten you and your spouse tested for STD's then you'll have children, Ash. The circle of life has to continue! And…I need grandkids to shower with love and affection and gifts. You don't want your mother to be sad, do you?"

"Er…no, not really" Ash looked up at his mother's glazed eyes. It would be a long night. "I want you to be happy…'cuz I love you?" He hoped that was the correct answer.

His mother began to sob. He'd either done something very, very right or very, very wrong. "Such a good boy! I love you so much, sweetie! You're such a good boy, and so good at getting your way, isn't that right? Yes, that's why you have to convince Misty to have kids when you two grow up!"

"Why Misty? I don't even like her! Plus, she's scared of childbirth! She fainted during that Sex Ed video!" Ash protested.

"Don't be stupid, Ash. You're getting married one day and it's going to be to Misty. Now, go ask her to dance!" She ordered, pointing to the snack table.

"She's just going to say no," Ash grumbled.

"I don't care, Ash! You'll make her say yes if you have to! Now go dance with misty so one day you'll date, get married, and have kids!" She shoved him away.

He dejectedly walked through the dancing couples and dropped under the table with Misty. "Hey, Misty, wanna dance with me?" He asked, popping one of her favorite snacks into his mouth. She didn't answer. "Please, Misty? Mist? The prettiest of all the Sensational Sisters I sadly ask for a single dance with the county fair maid?" Ash wasn't very good with flattery. His IQ was just a few points too low.

"It's fair maiden, you idiot, or, in Japanese, baka!" She smacked his head and went back to her snacks. "I don't want to dance with you, Ash. I want to hide. Come on, you're mom'll forget all about this. We can get out of here without anyone noticing. I know the secret passageways like the back of my hand!"

"But Misty! My mom's been-secret passageways?" Ash's mouth dropped open. "You've got, like, hidden doors in your house that take you all over the place?" She nodded brightly. "Misty! That is so freaking cool! Playing down there is gonna be so much fun and…no, I already told my mom I would. Drunk or not, she's still my mom. I've got to do what she tells me to! Don't you listen to…your…mom…" He trailed off awkwardly.

"Gee, Ash, that's going to be pretty challenging, don't you think? I'll need a few supplies. Hey, I'll call up Sabrina! Maybe she'll use those psychic powers of hers to contact my mom in the world beyond! Oh, that's an awesome idea Ash. You get the phone, hurry! We'll call her up, pull out a crystal ball and see my parent's smiling faces. They'll tell me whether or not I'll dance with you. Pure genius Ash!"

"Sorry," Ash blushed.

"It's fine. Just…just go away. Tell her the truth, I won't dance with you. You can't get in trouble just because I won't do it. That's what you're supposed to do, try your hardest and tell the truth. Now get out of my sight and find something fun to do. I'll be hiding. You can't get in trouble because I won't cooperate with you. That's ridiculous, your mom wouldn't do that."

"Misty, if you don't dance with me, you're never getting your stupid bike back."

"I've got my bike back."

"So I don't owe you a new one?"

"Yeah, you do. All the more reason for me not to do you any favors. You've got bad credit and you're in debt. When was the last time you paid anyone back for anything? You're never going to help me out so I'm not going to trust you. You…you just declare bankruptcy and go home, Ketchum."

"You can add it to my tab," He growled, ripping the quiches from her hand. He dug his feet into the floor and began to drag her out as best he could by her wrist. It was slow going, but it was working. Once she was half out, she pretty much walked. It was embarrassing enough to have to dance with Ash, it was twenty times worse to be dragged out onto the dance floor.

"I don't want to dance!"

"They'll be after us all night, might as well get this stupid thing over with, right?" He put one hand on her waist, the other in hers, and stared at his feet, waiting for her to do her part. Reluctantly, her hand plopped on his shoulder and held his hand a little bit tighter to prove she wasn't dead.

"Ash, don't look at your feet. It's a beginner's mistake. Almost all beginners do that when they're learning to dance and it looks horrible. It's the biggest error you can make. It's almost like, I don't know, sending a caterpie out against a…what was it? It _couldn't _have been a flying type. You're not that stupid. No one could ever be that incredibly stupid!"

"Shut up," he blushed, still looking at his feet. "If I look at you, I'll step on your feet. Then you're going to be ticked, shove me away, kick me, and make me embarrassed in front of everyone. That'll be another thing I'll never live down thanks to you."

"You won't step on my feet Ash."

"Yes I will."

"No you won't. We're barely moving! Just calm down and we can talk about whatever you feel like. Pokémon, games, girls, swords, whatever you want." He did nothing. "Mr. Pokémon Master, why don't you look at me?" His head finally came up and half smiled at her. She smiled back. "There. It's better, right? Let's talk about that new girl you met. May, wasn't it?"

"Well, what do you already know about her?"

"Uh, Maykin Maple, born August 18th. She's a pretty girlish type. If I ever meet her she's Christian and I'll have to buy her presents at Christmas time. She's got a little brother name Max, who's, um, nine now? Yeah, February 12th had already passed. He's nine. Her parents are gym leaders, like mine were. We could probably talk about that if we meet up sometime. You've got to introduce me to her."

"Gees, Misty. How do you remember all that?" He laughed a bit, shaking his head. "Where'd you hear it? Who told you all of that, Brock?"

"And you."

"Heh, I barely remember her last name. That's pretty bad. I'm lucky I've remembered Brock's last name! That's why I usually go by first. I never remember more than that."

"Ash, do you even know my last name?" She said, her tone teasing rather than angry. She squeezed his shoulder lightly, no pain being inflicted whatsoever. "I'm surprised you remember what town you're from, let alone anyone else's!"

"Hey! I remember! I remember plenty of stuff about you!"

"Really? Like what?"

"Well, your name is Misty Kasumi Waterflower. You were born on June 12, same year as me, but six months earlier. You're always older than me. You're ag-agnostic. You're agnostic. That means you're thinking about God, but you're not convinced. You still want presents for the holidays. You hate carrots, peppers and bugs. You love French food. I don't get why. It doesn't taste that good, but whatever works for you. You're a water type trainer, and you're so romantic it's gross. Do you need to know more, or can I stop telling you stuff you already know?"

"Hmm, awful lot you know about me. Why do you know so much about me, but nothing about May?" She grinned and began to sing a bit as they swayed. "Is it because you like me? Do you dream about me? Do you want to kiss me? Are you in lo-ove?"

"Put a sock in it," he said, smiling and blushing and trying not to laugh. "Or I'll put a sock in your big fat mouth for you!"

"Gotta catch me first!" Misty giggled, spinning from him and stomping up the stairs. "Hurry up slowbro! You're never gonna get me if you stay so slow!" She chanted childishly, racing through the upper levels of the gym. Ash chased behind her, quite a distance off, and was greeted with the sight of Misty playing video games without him. "Gees, Ash, took ya forever to get here. I've been playing forever. Nothing can stop me now!"

"How come?"

"Last level!" She returned, turning the volume up on the game as she began to fight a raging dragon monster. "Bet I can beat this thing today. I've never gotten so close to winning before. I'm usually dead this far into battle. I'm still living though, and I've got full life points!"

"Hey, bet I can make you lose."

"Can not."

"Can too. Let's try it!" Ash grinned as she paused the game to turn and talk to him. "We've got to setup some rules. Like, you can't pause the game if I start to annoy you. You're not allowed to hurt me either. You can't touch m at all. It's about you, not me."

"Don't move my body, cover my eyes or yank the controller. You can't hurt me either. Unplugging the game is definitely cheating," Misty nodded. "If you hurt the game or cheat, you automatically lose."

"Okay," Ash agreed. "The rules are fine by me." And, with that, the game had begun. "Hey, Misty?" he asked. "I just thought I'd let you know you've got a little bug on your back. Nope! Two little bugs are all over your back. I think they're about to suck your blood!"

"I'm not that stupid Ash."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! I'm sure you retard! I know there's not bugs on my back. You'll have to try harder!" She laughed, her fingers easily darting along the controller. She hit the dragon and again and began to run away from it's attacks, dodging and waiting for the break in attacks to attack back.

"No, really, they're right here. Feel 'em." He ran his finger down her spine, making her shiver and arch her back away from his touch. "You feel the bugs now Misty?" He began to randomly roll his hands along her back, her shakes growing more violent.

"I know it's you," She scoffed. "Just because I hate that won't mean I'll get distracted. Go ahead! It's kind of like one of these messed up electric massagers you get at the mall. Ha! Just gained _another _level!" He'd stopped touching her. That was good. It was a weird feeling, and very distracting, just not enough to distract her from that game. "Try again!"

"They're serving dessert," Ash said, starting to head to the door. He felt stupid. He was already running out of ideas. "Chocolate fudge sundaes with cherries and loads of whipped cream n' chocolate syrup. You don't want to miss that over some game, do you?"

"It's coffee ice cream, Ash. I was here all day, not you. I'm not allowed to have caffeine, you know that."

"I have a chocolate bar in my backpack."

"No you don't."

"Yeha I do! I'm not even lying this time! I do have a chocolate bar. I won't give you the whole thing but I'll letchya have a bit if you really want to. It's because I'm so nice and caring, unlike you!"

"Actually, you don't. I already went into your bag tonight and ate it," Misty giggled. "It always tasted better when you steal it from a friend. Now I get why you keep stealing the food off my plate."

"Only before you touch it. I don't want to get germs or anything. I especially don't want to get girl germs or tomboy girl germs from you! I bet your germs are the worst of all! Gross, sick, disgusting, Misty germ from a stupid, stupid girl like you!"

"That's not going to get me to stop playing, Ash," She said, not being able to control her giggles now. "If that's your best effort, I've already won!" She did a fancy combination that practically erupted fireworks on the screen. Misty leaned forward, gasping excitedly. She had almost one! Just a hit or two more and she'd completely beat the game! She had been playing it for what seemed like a decade. In realit, it had been three weeks, but that was a long time to just focus on one game. She loved the kick-butt female warrior character, and she loved the graphics on this dragon. She was so close!

Then, with no warning, Ash slowly put his lips to her cheek and let them linger. The controller dropped to the floor quietly, and Misty'd eyes widened. It took a second for her logic and denial to shove through the feelings and remind her that she shouldn't be doing that. She fell backwards in a panic lending on her controller to do the one move she'd never bothered using: Mercy. Her warrior stepped back, lowering her sword and eyeing her opponent. It was out of her hands as the video game shifted to its video mode, the part where the plot progressed.

"Ash! No look what you made me do! I was about to win! You just had to win that stupid bet!" Misty pouted, more disappointed and annoyed than angry. "Oh, well. At least I'll get to battle the hardest boss in the game again. That's better than nothing."

"Bet?" Ash said, a slightly hazy look on his face. He shook it off, red faced, and hoped she hadn't noticed. "Er, uh huh. That bet. I remember that. I guess I really did win, huh?"

"You forgot the bet!" Misty yelped. "If you forgot the bet, what'd you go and kiss me for?"

"Shh, Mist! Look at the screen! It's awesome! Ash pointed.

Misty slowly looked at the screen, a little scare that Ash might try to kiss her again. Her worry was forgotten in an instant as she became captivated by the movie on screen. The dragon was glowing, changing with the same light pokémon gave off as they evolved (A/N: Lazy ass author copying pokémon…sorry) The light vanished and a handsome prince gave a longwinded speech about a curse, freedom, thanks, friendship and love. The two character kissed, and the credits rolled.

"That's not possible. I went on the website! It told me at the end of the dragon dies and you go back to your potato farm! You don't…you're not supposed to get a prince and live happily ever after!"

Ash smiled. "Well, sometimes you just have to fins a new way to win. Sometimes you get double the prizes. This time, she won the battle and found love." He leaned over to her and poke her shoulder teasingly, initiating a play fight.

_And she's not the only one to get double prizes…_

* * *

I described A outfit. Not a lie...kinda.

Well, R and R if you wish, and I can't believe I've only got, like, fifteen more one-shots to go!


	36. AMDM The Themes Keep Coming

Themes are cool, themes are fun, I'm doing this because I can't think of a new one…

* * *

**1. THEME: AirPairing: AAMLTitle: Breathless**

It was a dare. It was a harmless dare between friends. Of course, we were stupid, helpless to our own thick headed stubborn antics. We had been laying on the beach, quiet and calm, slowly breathing in and out after another play fight. I was relieved the giggles were over now. Earlier, they had been uncontrollable at the happiness I'd had. I'd gone red to the tips of my ears, one of the many horrible traits of white skin. "I wish I was black."

"Huh?" Ash asked, surprised at my sudden speech.

"I wish I was black. You know, dark skinned. Maybe even skin as dark as yours would be great."

"You're so random," He laughed lightly, sitting up and yanking playfully at my ponytail. "And you still sound at of breath, y'psycho! You can't even recover all that fast! Jees, I knew it's been a while since you've been on the road, but I never would've thought you'd be so weak after just a few weeks. I bet I can win at almost anything now. Wrestling, weight lifting, running, jumping, maybe I'd even beat you at under water!"

"Humph! You? Beat me? We're holding our breath under water, you dunce! I've been hanging out at the Cerulean gym. In case you haven't noticed, I've been in the pool. I've had so much practice at holding my breath, I could beat you by hours!"

"Oh yeah? Betchya can't! You just try Misty! You just try!"

"I will! I'll win!" I said. We both stumbled to our feet and raced to the water, cannon balling in and grinning at one another. He called the challenge, I counted down. It was how our rules were. We both sunk to the water, breathing in and out as deeply as we could. "3…2…1…down!" We both ducked under water after one big breath.

Where were there for a while, until my lungs began to ache, but I couldn't let him win. Then he came up, and I wanted to prove I could still hold my breath. It's kind of sad, actually. I had gotten so used to the feeling of dying underwater, drowning, that painful pressure in my chest signaling my need for air. But I could ignore it. I could rise above it. I did. I was fine. I could live. That was the last thing I remembered for a while.

The next thing I knew, I was awakened with a shivery, delightful feeling. My chest rose and fell without my say, and something hot blasted down my throat. I didn't want to move. I felt too good to move. I felt water coming up out of my lungs and was forced to flip over to my stomach and spit it out. I moaned. "Ugh, what happened?" I asked. I sat up, my head lolled back a bit. My chest hurt, my body was weak, and yet for some strange reason, I was tingling.

"You're okay!" Ash cried cheerfully.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked. I cocked my head to the side and looked at him. He looked breathless, he seemed so worried he could barely support himself on weak arms. "Hey, did I beat ya, Ash? I did, didn't I? You lost!"

"You almost drowned!" He said. "Now I know how you feel! I'll never try and drown myself again." He laughed a bit and rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. Misty was giving him that look again. "Er, not that I've been trying."

"You don't need to worry so much, Ash. I can take care of myself. Besides, you're worrying about me as if I was you lover or something!" I began to giggle, only to be stopped by a serious look in eyes only a few inches from mine. "Ash? Whatchya looking at?" Then his lips were on mine, every bit as soft as I'd imagined. I leaned forward craving more, but screaming inside. My lungs were giving out already. I was starting to feel lightheaded, but this was even harder to pull away from than the sensations under water.

He pulled back, grinning. "How was that?"

I panted, but smiled. "It's lots of fun, but, really Ash! I do need a little air!"

* * *

**2. THEME: Attention Pairing: DAML Title: Insane**

**WARNING: MAY LOVERS MAY NOT LIKE WHAT THEY SEE…! I'm warning you because you tend to be a violent people (a few of you, not all. My darling reviewers are fantastic, yup yup), a very angry group of people. I thought this was funny…but I'm special like that.**

Insane? I went insane once!

I love contests.

Love? I was in love!

I was in love with Drew!

Drew? Drew was my rival!

Rival? Rivals don't ever fall in love.

Fall? Lots of girls fell in love with Drew!

Girls? Drew had lots of fangirls!

Fangirls? I hate those fangirls!

Hate? I hated not being special to him!

Special? Drew sometimes gave me special gifts!

Gifts? I got flowers from Drew a few times!

Flowers? Drew gave me plenty of flowers!

Plenty? Drew had plenty of things better than me.

Better? They say I'll never get better.

They? They don't know what they're talking about.

Talking? They say I'm crazy!

Crazy? –giggle- That's like insane!

Insane? I went insane once…!

* * *

**3. THEME: Hell Pairing: AAML Title: Secret**

It was hell.

It was heaven.

It burned her.

It warmed her.

Every glance, every touch, every smile he cast her way sent her into a new kind of torture.

He was even learning to tease her, prod at her, send her senses reeling.

Of course, he didn't know how he was torturing her.

He just thought they were playing.

Playing, what a word for the pain he put her through, the hand holding, the play fighting, the random hugs.

He thought that she didn't like being touched, that she couldn't stand it.

Well, he was right about the last bit.

She couldn't stand those fingers flicking across her skin, even if it was for just a moment.

It made her long for something that could never be, something that could never happen.

A love between Ash and Misty.

Because he would always look at her with those big sweet eyes and that good natured smile…

And no matter how hard she tried. He would see her.

The runt.

The annoying tagalong.

He couldn't see the girl she was, the one who loved him so much is made her ache and want to scream in pain.

Yet it made her life complete, and she couldn't imagine her life without this…obsession.

It warmed her.

It burned her.

It was heaven.

It was hell.

* * *

**4. THEME: Sarcasm Pairing: DAML Title: Hiding (Hmm…my DAML's seem to be angry lately…)**

"Stop it!"

I froze. In all the time I'd known the dazzling girl before me, I'd never heard her scream like that. Her voice sounding as if someone ripped it from her with a knife, twisting it and ripping out the words from her chest. What had I done? It'd only been the same as I'd always done. I'd teased her, she'd weakly retort back, we'd continue until I'd left her speechless and I'd walk away, proud and content. It was the way things always worked.

"May?"

"Why won't you stop?" She screamed. She ran her hands into loose hair and screamed. She just opened her mouth and screamed wordlessly, eyes shut, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. "No matter what signals I send off, no matter what I do, you just won't stop!"

"May, I didn't-"

"Yes you did!" She cut me off. "I told you! I told you and told you! You just never opened your ears up to listen! Why can't you pay attention? Instead of being a jerk all the time you could be the kind of guy a girl could like! Maybe then a girl would do more than throw her underwear at you! Maybe they'd do more than scream about how they want to have your babies! Maybe they'd act like you were a person, and not some false god!"

"They don't-"

"Oh yes they do! If you would open up your ears, open up your eyes would understand that! Look around you! The world is screaming what they want from someone like you! Someone smart, someone witty, someone who can coordinate the most beautiful routines the world had ever seen!" She shook her head at me. She shook. I wondered why? She hadn't been running, just screaming. Did screaming make you that tired?

"I'm sorry," I said my cocky exterior still showing through.

"Lies," She spat venomously.

"No it's not. I'm plenty sorry May. Believe me." I didn't sound as desperate as I had intended. I sounded aloof, too cool too care, if you would. I should've been on my knees, begging for forgiveness. I should've tried to find someway to fix it.

"I don't believe you."

"Oh, come on." I rolled my eyes. "Why don't you just sit down and watch some TV?"

"No, Drew," She said, laughing lightly, slightly hysteric. "No, Drew, I won't. Not this time. This time, we're done. I'm done with you, I'm done with this. I used to think that maybe, just maybe, somewhere inside you, there was a good person. I thought there was a good person deep down inside that bad one. But nope, you found a way to prove me wrong. Aren't you good at that? I hope you're proud of that. In fact, I hope you're proud of that very last sarcastic comment. I hope you'll remember it as the thing that drove your only hope of love away. Anne Frank, ha! People are basically good, my ass!"

She stormed out. I wanted to go after her, I did. That good part of me just couldn't move trapped inside that overwhelming too cool to care shell, the one that smirked and said that she'd be back. Which she never was. She was never my lover, my girlfriend, or even my friend again. The inside me sobbed, that last comment I gave to her echoing in my head as long as I lived. It wouldn't go away.

_May, I love you with the burning desire of a million flames._

See, the worst thing of all? I wasn't even trying to be sarcastic. Nice Drew came out. Nice Drew showed his face. Then May slapped Nice Drew across the face and he went back into hiding, under my skin as the good, defensive Drew took over. Perhaps, in retrospect, that was where he belonged anyway…

* * *

**5. THEME: Need Pairing: AAML Title: Torturing**

This was plain cruel.

There they were, hiding Misty under a blanket in the truck, Ash putting his feet under it (and bags and other items) so he lump couldn't be distinguished among the others. She just had to be special, didn't she? She had to be the hero for once and steal a pokémon right from Giovanni's lap. Literally, right from his lap. She couldn't have helped it, seeing a weak, defenseless pokémon, but why did it have to go this way?

Ugh, why did they have to admit their feelings just a few hours earlier?

Now she was torturing him. She dragged her fingers teasingly along his thighs, making his face redden and his breath come in gasps. He was supposed to be sick anyway, so everyone else in the truck just thought he was a good actor. No one suspected he was being tortured by his female friend. She knew every hot spot along his legs, just where to touch to send him near over the edge before putting her hand down. Which was worse. He could've tuned it out after a while if she'd just kept the steady pace but she had to vary it, keep his nerve endings on end. He hated her. He hated her so much.

And he needed to touch her _so bad._

"Ash, you okay there?" Brock asked, turning with Rudy to eye him. He was in the flatbed of the trunk, the other two were in the front seats. Lucky bastards. Misty wouldn't have dreamed of touching them. She would've been the good, law abiding girl he always thought she was. Who knew Misty was actually the antichrist sent to make his life a living hell. Oh, what a laugh. He just loved his life. Her hands were starting again.

"Fine," He strangled out.

"You're doing a great job acting, but we're not to the post yet, you don't need to start now."

"I'm, er, uh," he panted, trying to think of a intelligible response other than 'Misty, either stop touching me or cuddle but I can't handle this, my will isn't as strong as you think.' "I'm just getting into character, I guess. What if someone sees me, fine, and than tells at the post? We'll be screwed."

"Good idea," Rudy agreed. He grinned. "So, how's Misty doing down there?"

"She's got to be sleeping or something," Ash tried to shrug casually. Thankfully Rudy turned away.

'Hey, Ash, do you know what I'm writing?' Misty's fingers spelled along his thighs.

"Yes," He hissed. "Misty, you cut it out. It's not funny. You're torturing me, do you know that?"

'Yes,' The fingers wrote again, stretching the word all along his legs. 'But it's so much fun!' He jumped a bit at the dot on the exclamation point. 'But you can't do a single thing about it can you? No, no you can't. Poor little Ashy.'

"We're at the post and…oh shit," Brock swore. He rolled down the window as the car slowed and snatched off a wanted poster. "They're out for you too, Ash. Get under the covers, quick! You can't let them see you!"

Ash nodded excitedly, too cheerfully for their liking, and darted under the cover. He pinned Misty, grinned wickedly, and put a finger to his lips. "No noise, they'll hear us." His fingers slid down to her thighs and began to write on them. 'You can't do a single thing about it, can you? No, you can't. Poor little Misty!'

She shook her head and him and rolled her eyes and mouthed, 'Sorry, I'm a little better at controlling my hormones.'

"Mew dammit."

"SHHH!"

* * *

**6. THEME: Bother Pairing: DAML Title: Annoying**

"Whatchya doin'?" May giggled, leaning close to Drew. He was frowning.

"Trying to pretend I travel alone. Without you," He muttered. He was combating Max in a video game. Yes, there were cheats written on his hand, but the kid was good! So what if he hit square, double X, down, up, left, right, circle, circle, L1 and boosted his health back up to full power? It wasn't cheating. He was just using every part of his mind to his advantage. The sad thing? Max was still kicking his ass. Did he ever feel like a loser.

"What's written on your hand?"

"An elaborate plot to ditch you in a gutter. Go away."

"Aw, Drew, that's not very nice to poor me."

"You think I give a damn?"

"You should, I'm the best friend you've got, Drew!" She pinched his cheek playfully. He slapped her away. They were much more playful now that they were both seventeen, and well aware of the concept of 'flirting'. "But, even though we're the best of friends, I think I should put my brother first. Don't you think so? I do. Max, I think you should automatically win the game. Call that no cheats card you've got up your sleeve."

"He's using cheats?" Max glared. "You're using cheats?"

"…It's a lie," Drew snapped. "Who are you going to believe? Your stupid sister who knows nothing about BattleGalaxyMega 316, special director's cut, or me? I hope you know the right choice, Max." He swore when Max did a fancy combination of his own to block the cheat codes. "I hate you May."

"I know."

"How long have you been doing this?"

"Three hours," she laughed, pinching his sore cheek again. "And distracting you isn't getting old."

"You're not distracting me, you're annoying me!" He growled.

"Annoying, huh?" She laughed. She leaned forward and whispered in his ear, causing Drew to drop the controller with his mouth wide open. "Alright, was that annoying, or distracting?"

"Drew lost! I win! Ha!" Max cheered. He looked over and pulled a face. "Oh, ew. Hormones."

Drew sighed, "I guess it's both. You mean what you said?"

"No, I'm not _ever _doing that. It's disgusting."

"Now you're just annoying."

* * *

**7. THEME: Pretty Pairing: AAML Title: Message**

"Ash, what are you doing?" I squealed, attempting to get away from the marker writing on my exposed midriff. Why, oh why did I have to wear these shirts? My "loving boyfriend" did this to me constantly. I'd be abruptly woken up in the morning with my skinny, awesome body pinned under his chubby, fat, ugly boy body (which is pretty boney) while he wrote his special message or quote of the day. Typically, it was something I had gotten wrong on our journey or something he thought I was insecure about. Not that I'm insecure about anything. I'm perfect, duh. "Quit it, you idiot! That tickles!"

"You're not ticklish," Ash commented icily. "So stop wriggling."

"Having these stupid thing printed on my stomach can get awfully embarrassing, especially sense we're meeting up with all our old friends," I mumbled, but stopped squirming anyway. "Why'd you have to do this anyway? Huh? What have I ever done to you?"

"Where do I begin?" Ash rolled his eyes. He switched markers again. Each letter was going to be a different color. Great. Weren't we going on TV to talk about Ash's fantastic journey today? Gee, I really hoped he used colors that matched the yellow outfit that was _supposed _to have a red shirt under it, which he stole and burned, laughing insanely and saying that he'd finally see my 'Six Pack of Death'. I told him to keep his shirt on, because I didn't want to see his flab.

Yeah, I'm a girl with a six pack, stronger than my partner. Do you have a problem with that? "Very funny Ash. I meant, what have I done to you recently. I already told you that everything I did to you back then was due to unresolved sexual tension."

"And for fun."

"And for fun," I laughed, then began to pout. "When are you going to stop doing this, Ash? You know I can't wash it off unless I scrub in the shower! We won't get a shower until after that stupid TV performance. Everyone knows we'll be on, they'll laugh at me Ash! You don't want your poor, hurt, weak but not insecure girlfriend to get laughed at, do you Ash? I'll cry! I'll sob uncontrollably. You don't want to see me hurt, do you?" I gave him my wide, innocent eyes. Look as sweet as possible, maybe he'll show mercy. Maybe he'd get out that scrubbing brush and take off the marker for once. It didn't seem to work.

"That's what today's message is all about."

"Ash," I growled warningly. "You better not write something embarrassing on me."

"Don't worry Misty. You can only get embarrassed if you're insecure," Ash chuckled. He finished with the last of his markers and leaned forward onto my chest, tightly pressed against me. He pulled my ear with his teeth to make me smile and whispered, "You're not insecure in the least, are ya, pretty girl?"

"Oh, Ash, don't call me pretty," I said, blushing.

"Why not?"

"Because _I'm _not," I said, shaking my head. I sat up, pushing him back with me. "Now you're just making fun of me. I know I'm not ugly, but I'm not pretty either. You know how much I hate it when you start making fun of my looks."

"But Misty, you're so sweet and kind and nice…" Ash began.

I stopped him. "Ash! We were talking about me being pretty, not a good person!" I began to laugh. He touched a finger to my lips and used the other one to trace over the words on my stomach. I'd gotten good at this. My eyes fluttered closed and I concentrated on the feeling of his sliding fingers along my stomach. "It…is…what…is…on…that…do that one again," I said, a smile fighting onto my face. He must've smirked as he ran his fingers over my most sensitive spot again. I loved that feeling. The surprise of him touching it always sent my mind reeling. This time I was able to concentrate a bit more on the words rather than the feelings he shot through me. He finished with a flourish of running his hand from my forehead down to the top of my jeans, where he pulled me closer by my belt loops.

"What's it say again?" He whispered in my ear. "I think I already forgot exactly where you're so pretty."

"Ash, you're such a dork." I kissed his cheek and hugged him tight. "It's what's on the inside that counts."

* * *

**8. THEME: Flying Pairing: DAML Title: Proposition**

Flying on Drew's flygon was the most fun I'd had in all my life. We could only do it for so long, before we got too big and flygon too old. We obviously couldn't get a new one, hurt poor Flygon's feelings. Poor baby. I've grown to love him over the years.

The love was probably influenced by the, uh, proposition I was given on the creature's back.

A marriage proposal, from Drew.

I was surprised. He'd attached seatbelts so the rides could be wild, so we'd never fall off. Then, right during a dip he turned and kissed me. The two sensations combined together sent me into a delightful swirl of ecstasy. His kisses always sent shivers down my spine, and I hoped they always would.

Now that we're married, oh, I'm flying. I'm constantly flying.

Just not in the same way…

* * *

**9. THEME: Food Pairing: AAML Title: Sexual Tension (Look at the title before reading)**

"Misty, stop it!" Ash snapped.

"What?" She asked, looking up from the carton of ice cream. Her eyes were so sweet, so innocent. She was just eating a carton ice cream. She was just slowly raising the spoon to her mouth, slowly putting it in, then, oh so slowly, pulling it back out. Of course, she then had to lick the spoon completely clean before putting it back into the carton and starting the process all over again. That slow, slow process.

And Ash had to watch.

"You're…stop it!"

"I'll stop what I'm doing to you if you'll tell me what I'm doing," Misty giggled, beginning to nibble at her ice cream yet again. She tilted her head down and looked up at him, smiling in an almost seductive way before resuming her snack.

"You're doing it on purpose, aren't you?" Ash shouted. His mouth was dry, his heart was thunking, he was completely lightheaded.

"Ash, what the _hell _are you talking about?" Misty laughed lightly. "I'm not doing anything!"

"Yes you are!" He growled. "You're making me want to jump you!"

"I make you that mad?" She giggled. "You're going to mug me?"

The giggles stopped when she was tackled to the floor, pinned by a surprisingly, well, sexy Ash. He threw the ice cream from her hands, letting it splatter to the floor. "Heh, not exactly," he purred. He kissed her, slowly, deeply, passionately, then rolled off her with a grin. "I feel better now. You can go."

"Too bad, Ash," She giggled, climbing on top of him. "I'm just gettin' started."

* * *

**10. THEME: Blood Pairing: DAML Title: Blood (Oh, come off it. So I wasn't creative with this title. Nyeh. Doom on you naysayers! (Last part made no sense, sorry)**

The blood that leaked out was as red as her clothes, so tight it made his mouth dry.

The blood that poured out was blue. He was blue blood. He was rich. She was middle class. She didn't care.

Why couldn't he?

The blood that poured out was purple, deep, rich, a blend of the two colors.

The two of them, swirling together in one place.

It was symbolic.

A hand wiped at his forehead.

"Drew, you okay? You're mumbling." A giggle. "Who knew having you get all these blood tests would make you so loopy?"

"Love ya," He said softly, feeling his eyes slide closed.

"What? Drew, I can't hear you. Drew? Drew? He just fainted! Somebody get a doctor!"

"I didn't faint," He muttered. "I'm just lightheaded. Don't be stupid."

She sweatdropped. "Heh, oops."

* * *

Fourteen more to go. How…-sigh- I'm gonna miss y'all! 


	37. AM In Sickness and In Health

This was mostly written during the Superbowl. Superbowl commercials were mostly disappointing this year. Game was pretty good though, with that last minute win...  
Guess who was sick? Me! Guess who else gets to be sick?  
Misty: Why are looking at me like that? (handed today's script) Son of a–  
Being sick sucks.

The 'bathroom scene' in this (you'll know it when you see it) is spurred from a one liner in a comedy routine I saw. Basically, the toilet says "Get over here and pray to me bitch". You'll get it later. I just can't take credit for all of it.

* * *

**AAML**

I don't know why I even came to Ash's house. I knew I wasn't doing too well. I didn't get sick that often. I barely knew how to look for the signs. Unless I was throwing up, my brain would automatically deny my sickness. No, I couldn't be sick. I was impervious to all sicknesses. Never mind the world swirling if I walked too fast of stood for more than sixty seconds. Never mind the fact that my stomach turned over at the thought of anything food related. Never mind the fact that my face was pale and green when I woke up that morning, and I had literally drenched my face in makeup to hide it. Misty Waterflower did not get sick.

…Except maybe this one time.

It was late at night. I was practically dancing with joy as I raced up the stairs. I knew I had just felt a little off! I wasn't sick! Doctor? I don't need no stinkin' doctor! I didn't need medicine or shots or anything! I was perfectly fine! I was practically giddy. This, after careful consideration, is probably a side effect of the fever I had been taming with six blankets, a pair of sweatpants, and twenty (gave or take) layers of sweaters. You'd figure one of the darling Ketchums or any of our friends would've noticed this, but nope! They really didn't seem to care. Funny though…I could barely remember anything that had happened all night.

"Misty?" A hand on my shoulder.

I turned, then inwardly smacked myself. Too fast, too fast! The world gave a spin. Half of me deliriously thought 'wow, look at the pretty colors' while the other half screamed 'oh, I'm gonna be sick'. I grabbed the rail to brace myself and looked down at Ash dizzyingly. He was a few stairs down. I wondered how tall he would be if we were both standing. I'd spent the entire night crashed on the couch, so I couldn't tell. "Hey, Ash."

"You okay?"

"'m t'rrific, Ash," I slurred. I swallowed. My tongue was heavy with sickness and my eyes wanted to slide down and my legs wanted to bend and collapse onto the staircase to fall asleep, but I managed to stand. "'m just tired is all."

"Misty, you're in pants. Why are you in pants?"

"Well, y'don't wan' me naked, do ya?" I giggled. He flushed. My giggles grew. "Whatchya thinkin' 'bout that you're all red, huh, Ashy? Are ya thinkin' bad thoughts?" I was practically crippled with giggles that led to a sore throat, a headache and a bout of nauseous displeasure. Ash raised an eyebrow at me. My giggles stopped. What if I had done something wrong? Had I blown my cover? Did he know I was sick?

"Ashy?" He blinked. "You don't call me Ashy. You call me Ash_ley _but never Ashy."

"I meant Ashley," I said a swallow accompanying my solemn voice. "You know what?" My voice leaped up an octave. It was high, very female, and I practically sounded drunk. "Go 'way. I dun wanna talk to you. I _hate _you. Boys are stupid. No, a lotta boys are okay. _You're _stupid. You know what? You know what? You…you know what?" I paused and swallowed again, collapsing on the stairs, my arms coming above my head and gripping the railing. "I forgot what. Go 'way."

"…I'll…" He tried to think of what to say. "Misty, if you need me, I'll be in my room. You'll come to me if there's anything wrong. If you're feeling bad or upset or if something bad has happened...or you're sick again and you think you'll get away with it." His eyes narrowed at the last statement. My body lurched in surprise, but I forgot to let go of the railing in my delusion, and was yanked violently back to my previous position. Ash's eyes opened again. His mouth twitched in a smile and he slammed a hand over his mouth at my completely baffled face. I wasn't exactly sure what had just happened to me. It took me three minutes to figure it out. "You okay?"

"…Woah…" I gasped, mouth dropping open. "What was that?"

Ash's eyes gleamed. "That was a gremlin."

My eyes were sure to be dancing with childish delight. My hands slipped from the railing and I leaned forward. "A gremlin? You've got gremlins in your house? Woah, Ash! That's sooooo cool! That's just amazing! Tell me about those gremlins!"

"I'll tell you about the gremlins if you come with me and see Brock," Ash said slyly. "Brock can give you a quick look over and I'll tell you all about how we got the gremlins in our house. It's a really cool story. It's got a lot of action and blood and guts and even romance in it. Won't that be cool? And all you have to do is let Brock look you over to make sure everything is okay. The worst that'll happen is you get some Advil."

My subconscious hatred shot back up. I had always been angered at the thought of the doctor or therefore medicine of any sort. I didn't like shots. I hated them. It wasn't the initial pain of the shot. I didn't care about a needle going into my skin. I used to sew. Needless to say, I grew used to getting stabbed by needles. It was just the fact that they sat me on a table, said 'sit still and relaxed' then began cleaning a needle in front of me. They expected me to sit still and wait to be injured. What person in their right mind does that? I don't want to wait to be injured. In fact, I hit people. I don't want to, but I do. So they give me a pill so I can't move and then give me a shot. They say they give it to everyone. I know they're lying. With general medicine...I don't like the drugs that make me loopy. You know...admitting a secret crush under the influence would be pretty awkward. "No!"

"Aw, come on Misty," Ash said, trying to pull me by my hand. "Don't you wanna hear the story?"

"No!" I said, half screaming, half wailing. My head thunked heavily against the carpeted stairs. I lay there for a while, listening to Ash's exasperated sigh as he walked away. I felt triumphant. My ego practically skyrocketed. I stumbled to my feet and went the rest of the way up the stairs, laughing as if I'd just heard the funniest joke in the world. I spun by the bathroom, door open wide, and the giggling stopped.

And the toilet spoke to me. _Hello, _It said sweetly.

"Nuh-uh, 'm not sick," I said, my spirits drooping. "I'm fine. I'm terrific. Look, I c'n dance." I did a little jig to prove it, then clung to the doorframe weakly. "Maybe I can't." I doubled over with a moan as my stomach gave a sickening lurch. I looked up at the toilet.

In my deliriously ill mind the water sloshed tauntingly and lid bounced up and down as it spoke to me once again, teasing, mocking me in my condition. It was at this moment that I swore hatred and war upon the toilet in Ash's upstairs bathroom. Oh, the sink and the shower could live, they were nice enough and supported me in my sickness, but that toilet..._Sure, sure, you're not sick. How 'bout you come over here and be a little anorexic then._

_Oh, come on, _The shower said, curtains flapping. The world was warping. I didn't feel so good. _Leave the poor kid alone. She doesn't look like she's feeling so hot. Maybe she'd feel better with a nice, hot shower? You're cold, aren't ya kid?_

"Yeah, 'm real cold," I gasped in realization. I dropped by the shower and turned it on, turning it up as hot as it would go.

_Yeah, Jack, _The sink snapped. Jack was the name of the toilet, I think. See this conversation that's going on in my mind? Yeah, this is why I'm never getting drunk. I'd hate to be doing this in a public place. _Kid, why don't you come over in my direction and wash your hand in hot water. The sweet smelling soap will take away your nauseous feelings. Not just that, you'll get rid of the germs on your hands that might be causing you to be sick._

"Tha's a _grrrrr_eat idea!" I nodded eagerly. I went to the sink, turning on the water, and shoved my hands under it. I began to wash my hands.

_Listen, Misty, I always win. Why don't you come over here and bow down?_ Jack told me again.

"No! I don't even have to throw up anymore!" I snickered. I finished rising my hands and brought them up to my face. I smelled them, and suddenly the toilet's taunting made a lot more sense now. My stomach lurched one or two times. "I won't throw up, I won't throw up. I don't even have anything to throw up. Except the fish I had for…oh," I moaned in despair as the fish popped up in my mind. I shut the door, stumbled over to my new worst enemy Jack, and prayed before the porcelain god.

**

* * *

**

"Misty, you okay in there?" Came the quiet knock at the door.

Of course I was okay. Why wouldn't I be? I had just thrown up more than I ever had before. I rinsed out my mouth. Began to deliriously take off my clothes to get into the shower, came down from my delirium (instant gratification of vomiting, you feel instantly better) and fell fast asleep on the floor of Ash's bathroom. I'd woken up once or twice again to worship my white, oval enemy before repeating the mouth rinsing process and falling asleep. Now, imagine the blackmail anyone would have on me at this point. Even without the talking toilets, Ash had already seen the earliest faze of my delirium. I've been throwing up and sleeping. The shower is running. To top it all of, I'm wearing nothing but underwear and sprawled on a peach bathroom carpet that is about one and a half feet by one and a half feet.

"Huh? Ash?" I asked, raising my head from my slumber.

"Yeah, uh, Misty, you okay?" Ash asked from the other side. "You've been locked up in that bathroom for over an hour now. I know you don't do make up, but even if you were putting it on you never hang out in the bathroom that long. The shower's been running. I was kinda wondering if you had slipped and drowned or something. The water's got to be cold by now. Weren't you cold earlier today? Would a shower really be a great idea?"

"Uh…okay," I said, not really understanding what was going on.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure," I shrugged. It took a second for me to realize my mistake as the handle began to turn. "Wait! No! Don't! I'm naked! Don't come in! Ash, stay out! I'm naked!" The handle stopped turning and the door snapped closed. I breathed a sigh of relief. Thank Mew for video games. The boy had some fast reflexes. "I'll…I was going to take a shower but I fell asleep. Give me a second to put my clothes back on."

"Misty?"

"_Yes_, Ash?" I said with exaggerated impatience.

"You're stuttering. Are you shaking?" He asked. I paused and looked down. It turned out, I _was _shaking. My teeth were chattering. I was freezing. I began to pull on my clothes quicker. "You are, aren't you? Misty! Have you been throwing up? Ugh, I bet you have! Do you have to do this every time you're sick? For the last time, you're going to kill yourself if you don't let us take care of you! Four years and three times getting sick, including this time, isn't that bad of a track record. You've got to have an awesome imm…um, emu…immune system! Get out so we can heal you up, okay? It's like the pokémon center."

"I'm not sick!" I denied.

"Misty," He growled. "You got your clothes on? Because if you don't, I'm coming in on the count of five. One…two…three…" I scrambled up to the door and locked it before dropping away. "Misty, did…did you just lock the door?"

I felt guilty, the kid who got caught with their hand in the cookie jar. My voice was awkward to my own ears, "Uh…no?" I paused, then got angry. "Why am I acting like I did something wrong? Yeah! I did! I locked the door! What are you going to do about it? It doesn't even matter that I've got my clothes on. I'm fully dressed and you can't get ih-in," I sang, beginning to jump up and down and dancing. "I'm fully dressed and you can't get ih-in! I'm fully dressed and-oh, headache." My hand went to my head and I stumbled around weakly. I heard the sink turn on, and my initial reaction was to gasp. No, sadly, I didn't realize it was Ash. I just thought the bathroom was going to start talking to me again.

"You need a hot towel?"

"Jack?" I inquired weakly.

"No, Ash," He said, grinning smartly. He tugged my hand away from my face and lifted my chin to look into my eyes. "Well, from what I've learned from Brock in the past four years I'd deduce that you're sick. Your eyes are glazed, your face is pale, you appear to be delirious and your teeth are chattering, which may be a sign of a fever." A hand on my forehead. "Yeah, I think you've got a fever. My hand's hot now."

"Well, maybe your hand's just hot 'cause you got a fever, huh?" I retorted weakly. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm not sick. You can't get me anywhere. You can't, Ash." My voice was high again. "I'm not going to the doctor or anything. I hate the stupid doctor and I hate stupid medicine because it tastes nasty and every time I take a pill I end up throwing up or I can't get it down and it gets stuck in my throat and comes back up and the sugar shield around it melts and the nasty throw up inducing taste comes out and I want to upchuck but I can't and it sucks so I'm just going to stay right here and you can't change that!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!" I shouted. My hands flashed to my head. "Headache. Hey! What are you doing? Oh no you don't! You better not!" His arms wrapped around my waist and threw me up over his shoulder, snickering all the while. "You're not strong enough to do this!"

"I dunno, I think I can. You're pretty scrawny," He teased, carrying me out the door. Pikachu was hot on his heels, grinning up at me. Evil little mouse always knew what was going on. I hissed at it. It made Ash double take over his shoulder, hissing can do that to a guy. "Did you just _hiss _at Pikachu? Mew, Misty, you really must be pretty sick to do that." He laughed. I found that infuriating. I hated him with a passion.

"Lemme go."

"Brock!"

"No! Don't call Brock! _Please_, don't call Brock. Don't, don't, don'tdon'tDON'T! Ooh! I hate you!" I squealed with outrage as he kicked the door to Brock's room. "You're going to get in trouble for scuffing the door, Ash."

"No I'm not," he snorted. "It's my house." The door opened to reveal a surprised guardian. "Brock, Misty's sick again. She says she's fine, but she just hissed at Pikachu. I think she threw up in the bathroom too."

"Misty," Brock asked as Ash set me down. "Is this true?"

"It's lies!" I shouted violently. "All lies! Oh, ow, my head. Ow. Shouldn't have yelled. Note to self: Be less loud in denial." Brock was leading me into the room then, smirking and shaking his head. "You think I'm sick, but I'm not. I'm actually fine. In fact, I'm better than fine, I'm great! I'm grrrreat like Frosted Flakes," I gave a dazed giggle then shook my head. "Wait! No! That's not what I meant! That sounded delirious but it wasn't! It was actually just me trying to be funny. I should stop trying, I'm not very good at it. Silly me. Silly, silly me. I won't do that anymore. Promise. Now, I'm going to rush back to my bed."

"No you're not," Brock chuckled.

He lifted me up onto the bunk bed. I took it either Brock was staying with me or Ash was. I typically stayed on the sofa downstairs. It was by my own choice. I wanted a room away from the guys and I didn't mind sleeping on the sofa. It was comfy and warm and that was all I needed. Well, that and the fact that if there was danger the door was right there and she'd be the first out of the house. It was comforting in a way. But it also meant that I probably wasn't going to be getting a dose of non drowsy medication. Basically, I'd be getting a steady dose of Nyquil so Ash wouldn't have to listen to my ramblings as I slept.

"I'll have a Dayquil please," I said as charmingly as possible. "And then I'll go downstairs to my couch and watch whatever's on TV before falling asleep and dreaming of a beaching and strawberry smoothies and hot cabana boys named Raoul."

"Nice name," Ash grinned.

"Thank you, I think so."

"Advil," Brock said, shaking the bottle at me. He tossed it. I caught it. He tossed a water bottle. It hit me in the head. I fell back on the bed with a moan. "Take the Advil, Misty. Stop fooling around. Get up." Ash snickered. I felt like crying. Being sick is horrible.

"But it hit me _in the head_," I whimpered.

"I'm sorry," Brock sighed. His voice went harsh. "Now take the Advil. I'm going to go find some Nyquil." He dove back into his backpack and I played with the childproof lock before managing to pull it open. I pulled out an Advil. It was broken, so I put it back and got a new one out. I won't take a broken Advil. What if it doesn't work and I die? I don't take weird looking medicine. But, I did take the Advil. "Here it is."

"That's not Dayquil."

"Dayquil keep you awake," Brock laughed. The Advil was taken form my weak hands and replaced with a cup of liquid Nyquil. The stuff smelled awful, and I knew from experience it would taste worse. "You need to sleep tonight. It'll help you feel better."

"I don't wanna," I whined.

"Take it like a man," Ash said with his manliest voice (which wasn't very manly anyway. I told him so, and he stuck his tongue out at me.) "Oh, come on. I've had to take it too. It's not that bad. I'll cheer you on like it's some kind of bar competition if that helps. From your family history, you're bound to be a drunk anyway, right Misty?" he laughed, so I whacked him with a pillow. "Hey! I was just joking. You don't have to be so violent."

"Violence is the only thing that gets through to you," I retorted. Brock flicked my nose with a playful smile and pointed down to the cup. "Aw, come on, Brock! I don't want to drink this stuff. I'd rather be sick! I don't need you or anyone else taking care of me. I can fix myself. I've got nondrowsy meds in my bag. Let me go grab them. You can check to make sure they're not, you know, contaminated or anything. Just let me take my own."

"I already poured you a nice cup of Nyquil. And no, Misty, I _can't _pour it back in. It's not good for the rest of the bottle. I'd have to throw it all out. I'm not wasting any of my medicine. Take it. It's not the end of the world."

"Yes it is," I muttered. My head tilted way back and the medicine slid down my itchy throat nevertheless. I pulled a face and scrambled at the water bottle, ripping the tab open with my teeth when my nails failed to do the job. The cap was ripped from its happy place and I jammed the nozzle in my mouth so hard my gums ached. Alright, so I was a bit of a drama queen. I didn't need to drink half the bottle, but it's who I am.

"Ten bucks says she chokes," Ash giggled to Brock.

'"Oh, Brock. I'm not sleeping alone, am I? I sure don't want you kept up all night with my constant complaining. Besides, don't you think it's time Ashton learned how to be a parent and take care of poor, sick me?" I grinned in Ash's direction. He gulped, loudly. "Oh, I know how he loves to help people. Who better than to practice with than on me. All he has to do is make sure I don't choke on my own vomit and listen to me throw up all night."

"Gee, uh, what if I sleep through it? You know how I am Brock," Ash said, his arm going behind his head sheepishly.

"Oh, don't be silly Ash," Brock said with a hard clap to the young boy's back. I felt like giving my best evil laugh, just to freak Ash out all the more, but thought better of it. Brock might've thought I was really sick then. "You can go ahead and take care of Misty. She should be fine. Besides, not even you could sleep with the noise Misty'll manage to make. She's pretty loud when she wants to be. But maybe she'll be nice enough to keep quiet when she throws up."

"You won't hear a thing, Brock." I flashed him a thumbs up. Brock chuckled and swung his bags over his shoulder. He marched out the door, giving Ash only a quick glance to laugh and shake his head. His hand flipped the light switch off on his way out. I wondered if he knew exactly how much trouble I planned to make for the boy. I yanked the ponytail out of my hair and shook my head back and forth a few times before smiling brightly again. "I'm dizzy but I'm a-okay. Get in the top bunk Ash."

"But you might throw up on me," He wailed. "Come on, you have to go on the bottom one! I'll drag you down here if I have to."

"Oh gee Ash," I sighed, faking a yawn. "It seems the medicine is kicking in already. I just can't keep my eyes open. I guess I'll have to sleep here. Sorry. Better get to that bottom bunk." I laid down and yanked my covers high over my head. I pretended to snore. I ignored Ash's frantic screams of how his covers were now contaminated and how he knew I wasn't really sleeping (to which I replied 'of course I am, Ash') and how much he hated me. "What? I'm a water pokémon master? And Ash is in the gutters? Wow, that's terrific. I really hope I'm not asleep and this isn't just a wonderful dream. Hey, look, an all-you-can-eat dessert buffet!"

"I know you're faking!"

I sighed and sat up. "You're not getting this top bunk if I have to cough all over it. If you keep bugging me I'll cough in your face. I'll breathe on you when you're sleeping too. I know how much you hate getting sick. You can't train or anything. You want that to happen?" I smirked, then coughed and blew at his face. The boy nearly had a panic attack. "Well, do you want to get sick, huh Ash? You want me to do it again?"

"Well…no," Ash admitted reluctantly. He glared at me. "I'll get my revenge."

"Then you know what to do," I giggled. "Night, Ash. Have some sweet dreams."

"How can I if you're in here with me?" He muttered, climbing into his own bed. The covers shot up over his head as well and he began muttering incoherently, kicking and tossing and turning. It wasn't that uncomfortable. He just wanted to make me feel sorry for him. Well, I wouldn't. I wouldn't feel sorry for him. I was the one who was sick. He was healthy. He was happy. I felt horrible. There was no way I was letting him get away with this.

"…Ash?"

"Yeah Misty?"

"Do you..." I sighed at myself furiously. "Ash, you can take the stupid top bunk. I'll go on the bottom. It'll be easier. Besides, if I'm lucky you'll get sick." I sighed a bit dreamily. "Ash, sick. I love it when that happens. You always get so much more sick than me. You just can't stand it, can you? You're such a weakling when it comes to that. You moan so much when you start throwing up. It's kind of funny, actually."

There was silence. "Ash, I think I need a new bra. This one's really uncomfortable."

"I know what you mean. All my clothes are getting tight. Mom bought me new boxers that were the same size as the old ones, I didn't have the heart to tell her I…Hey, Misty, have you ever thought that maybe we're getting just a little too close?"

"The thought recently crossed my mind."

"How recently?"

"About the second I said 'Ash, I think I need a new bra'. I don't need to tell you about that and you don't need to tell me about your underwear problems." We were quiet again. I really should know better than to be quiet in a room with Ash. Neither one of us can keep our mouths shut for long. That wouldn't be a bad thing if when we started talking again, it wasn't about something incredibly stupid. "Do you know what intercourse is?"

"Ugh, yeah. I had sex ed too. It sucks."

"You ever had intercourse?" I asked, not knowing what possessed me to ask. Of course Ash hadn't done it. I'd been with him since he was ten, and he obviously didn't do it before he was ten, or do it while I was with him. That, or I'm a heavier sleeper than I ever thought. I mean, to sleep through something like that…I can't even sleep through a whispered conversation. I think it's got something to do with getting older. You sleep lighter and lighter when you grow up, maybe.

"…Misty, are you high right now?" Ash snorted.

"Ash!" I yelped, before collapsing into giggles. He'd never said anything like that before! Come to think of it, we'd never had a conversation anywhere close to this. For some reason though…it was funny. It shouldn't have been. It was supposed to be serious. Drugs were bad! People got addicted! We shouldn't have been joking about getting high, especially with all the kids our age that did! But yet…I couldn't stop laughing.

"Brock got you high of over-the-counter medicine," Ash laughed, barely getting the words out between gasps of air. "He's the drug dealer, and you're a druggie. We're going to wake up one morning and see you begging money from Pikachu to get your hands on a joint!" I was in stitches, almost falling off the bed, and I had no idea why. "You'll be going out as a prostitute to get the money. Who do you think would be a better pimp, me or Brock?"

"Pikachu!" I suggested.

"Right! I was too busy in mourning and cutting myself because I wasn't the one to take your virginity, and then killed myself. It was a horrible event that involved a salad shooter, which is what you ate all your meals from. But, you barely ate anything, just croutons, because you were and anorexic, _and _bulimic because you threw up the croutons every time! Brock is a nymphomaniac and ran off with several sex slaves who he got through date rape drugs!"

"Ash!" I shouted through laughter, holding my aching chest. "Ash, that's horrible! How could you joke about stuff like that?"

"How could you laugh at stuff like that?" He shot back, his head popping up. "You hurt?"

"Laughing hurts," I said, cooling down. "Oh, my throat hurts, my chest hurts, my head hurts. Don't make me laugh Ash. I'm sick. You're supposed to be nice to me and not be making…adult jokes." I grinned. "Holy crud, Ash, you just made inappropriate jokes. I can't believe it. That was horrible Ash. You shouldn't say stuff like that. What would everyone say if they heard the famous Ash Ketchum making those kinds of jokes?"

"They'd laugh, just like you did," Ash grinned. "By the way, I really think you should laugh. you know what they say, laughter is the best medicine." His grin turned almost evil as he looked at me. "Let's play a straight face game."

"Don't you dare!" I squeaked.

"Come on," Ash jumped up on the bed. "Let's play 'Honey, I Love You'."

"Oh, come on, Ash. You know I can't do that one. Can't we just have a straight face contest?" I asked weakly. "Please, please don't play this. We can do something else. We can do anything else. You want to play with my cell phone? You love the games on it, don't you Ash? I'll let you play until the battery dies. Doesn't that sound like fun? Come on, Ahs. Let's play that. Come to think of it, let's play anything but Ash. I'll tell you how great you are," I bribed.

"Why don't you just choose not to play?" Ash smirked.

"You know I can't," I pouted. "Then you'll spend the next three days saying you won, which you didn't. That's not fair."

"Honey, I love you," Ash smiled as cutely as he could.

I bit my lip and shook my head wildly, the giggles already building. How did you say 'I love you' to your crush without so much as a smile on your face? "Let's play something else. Come on, Ash. Have I ever told you how great your hair looks? Really! How can something that disorganized still manage to look that great."

"Honey, I love you" He said again, using his best Spanish accent.

I slammed my hands over my mouth and tried to stop the giggles building in my chest. I couldn't help it. It was _Ash _attempting to be _attractive._ Whether he was or not was besides the point, he was still completely hilarious whenever he tried. I took a deep breath in and composed myself, looked him right in the eyes and…"Honey I…dammit!" I snapped, feeling the smile on my face and bursting into giggles. Pain pinched my nerves, making me yelp and grab where it hurts. "Ooh! I hate you!"

"Guess who lost again?" Ash teased wickedly. "Wanna go for another round?"

"No," I growled.

"Maybe I ought to make a new challenge," He laughed. "How can I keep Misty from laughing in 'Honey, I love you'? That'll be a challenge." I stuck my tongue out at him and slumped back in my bed. He pounced me, starting a playful wrestling fight before the medicine finally decided to kick in and make me drowsy. I was helpless under him, yawning and wriggling a bit. "Aw, is little Misty stuck?" He asked, hands pinned to my sides.

"Yup, and tired too," I sighed with another yawn. "Have I ever told you how much I hate Nyquil?"

"Yeah, loads of times," Ash sighed. He paused for a second, then leaned dramatically close and whispered in my ear, "Misty, honey, honestly I love you."

I blinked up at him, feeling sleepy, and nodded. " 'Kay. Honey, love ya too, but I'm kinda tired."

Ash giggled and plopped to the ground. "I guess that's close enough. Night Mist, sweet dreams. That Nyquil is gonna give you some great ones. It won't be long before you're hooked on those drugs now. You better not waste all your money on it." He cuddled into the bed below me.

Feeling drowsy, stupid, and sleepy, I leaned over the side of the bed and beamed down at him proudly. "Ashy-boy, I love ya!" I said in the most cheerful voice I could muster.

His face was emotionless. "Honey, I love you too but I just can't smile."

I rolled back, crossed my legs, and stared up at the ceiling with a dreamy sigh. "Close enough."

* * *

Day Two of Sickness 

My bike costs two hundred fifty dollars. A toilet costs five hundred.  
I was happy to say good bye to Jack. It took two minutes with a sledge hammer to kill the bastard. I hate Jack.  
When Ash confronted me with the homicide of Jack Ketchum of the Upstairs Bathroom in front of a room full of people we had met not too long before, he tried to set up the arrangement that we could call it even. I broke his toilet, he broke my bike. It took about twenty minutes of arguing before Brock butted in and pointed out that a toilet, indeed, costs as much as previosuly mentioned.  
With this new fact, and a room full of people staring at me, I opened my eyes wide, blinked innocently and spoke only two words, "What bike?"

* * *

I'd love to say something charming or witty, but you know what? Nah. I've been witty enough recently. Now, begone! Get! Out of my sight! Just kidding, I love y'all! I'm a girl. I can say that. 

By the way, who's your favorite pokémon? Mine's houndoom. Just thought I'd like to share.


	38. AM Baby Blues

A/N: Can you say "snow day"?

* * *

**AAML**

Ash sat up, rubbing at his forehead. Why would he wake up at…? He looked at the clock and almost fell out of bed. Three in the morning! There wasn't a thunder storm, no rain, no lightning. He glanced at the Pikachu at the end of his bed and smiled. He smoothed the fur over his back, much to the little mouse's pleasure, than turned his ears to the rest of the house. What did he hear? Someone breaking in? That seemed unlikely, considering they were at a pokémon center on their way back to Pallet Town.

A quiet sob.

"Aw, crap," He muttered, swinging out of bed with a quiet thump to the carpeted floor. He had taken the top bunk, it only made sense. His traveling companion couldn't have made it from top to bottom without hurting themselves, or at least waking him up in the process. Besides, he always _did _like the top bed. It was what he got at home, only seemed right that he would get it on the road as well. Especially when his companion "didn't care" as long as "I can't hear your snoring".

He shook Pikachu lightly, slowly waking the electric mouse up and had him crawl up on his shoulder. The sniffling was making a pathetic effort to stop in the bed across the room without much luck. "Misty? Misty, why ya cryin'? I didn't mean the whole 'aw crap' thing a second ago. I'm just tired. If you're hurt or somethin' I swear I'll try and make you feel better and I won't complain or anything. I promise?" The last bit came out as more of a question than anything else.

"I'm…I'm not crying," Misty replied, her voice strangled with tears.

"You _sound _like you're crying. It's only normal for it to happen every once in a while, the tears I mean. Every girl goes through it. I don't mind, really. Tell me what's wrong. I'll make it better." He strode across the room and plopped onto the bed next to her.

"Nothing's wrong," She hesitated, "and I'm not crying. My throat's just sore from yelling at you all day. Gimme Pikachu." Pikachu leapt down from Ash's shoulder and poked his nose into Misty's stomach, tail flicking back and forth excitedly. Misty smiled, invisible to Ash's eyes, and gave Pikachu a one handed pet.

"Uh-huh," Ash nodded, not sounding very convinced. "So, how about I just turn this light on and–"

"No!"

"No?" He grinned. "Why not? It's not because you don't want me to see you _cry, _is it? No, you already _said _you weren't crying. So why can't I just reach over and flick on those stupid lights?"

"…'cause it'll hurt my eyes, Ash. It'll hurt yours too."

"Mmm, good excuse," He nodded. Then he added, on a more serious note, "Misty, really. No more games. What are you doing crying? Do you want to go to Cerulean instead? I told you it was fine. Your sisters don't need to come back to Pallet to help out. We can go to Cerulean. We're closer to that town anyway. We'll probably be safer in case this all happens earlier than planned. I don't even like Pallet all that much. Cerulean is a thousand times better."

"Are you trying to make me feel better by complimenting my hometown?"

"Is it working?"

"No."

"Then of course I wasn't. What kind of idiot do you think I am?" He grinned, attempting to get a giggle out of her. She didn't say anything. "Well, if you're not going to laugh at a stupid Ash joke, I know something's wrong. Tell me about it."

"I don't want to talk about it Ash," She whispered. She leaned against him, a hand wrapping around his and sending shivers up his spine. "Can't you just…" She sent out a puff of air that warmed more than just his chest. "Stay with me, hold me."

"I really _did _want to get the queen sized bed. I'm sorry, all I could pull off was one of the rooms like you, me and Brock used to get." He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close. "Please, Mist, tell me what's wrong. I won't make fun of you. I already had to go out and buy you the most random bottle of perfume just to satisfy your cravings. Trust me, nothing can compare to the looks I get when I go out to buy your stuff."

"You really want to know, don't you?"

"That's what I've been saying, Mist," He said with exaggerated patience. "Now, please, what's wrong?"

She slowly took a hand from his lap and brought it to her inflated stomach, where the infant inside kicked excitedly. "It likes Pikachu better than me. It'll kick whenever it knows Pikachu's there. It never, ever kicks for me. I've talked to it, and sang to it, and it never does unless you or Pikachu are around." Her hand snapped away from his own and held a hand to her mouth, trying to strangle the sobs threatening to rip from her throat. "It hates me."

"The baby does not hate you, Misty. That's completely insane."

"It won't _move _for me. Whenever I try and speak to it, it plays dead. It hates me and I don't even know _why. _I haven't even met it and it already figured out I'm a horrible person. It hates me. I've tried everything I can, Ash! I didn't want to let you know but I can't hide it anymore because our baby _hates _me."

"Misty, the baby loves you."

"No it doesn't!" She shouted, breaking down in tears.

"Aw, crap," Ash muttered, bringing his arms all the way around her. Pikachu leapt to the bed before finding a way to scramble up onto Misty's shoulder, doing his best to help Ash comfort her. "Misty, the baby loves you, you're going to be a great mother, and…you are absolutely _nothing _like her."

"I'm _just _like her," Misty spat. "Ever heard that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree?"

"Oh, so then I'm just like _my _father then?" Ash inquired.

"No, Ash!" Misty gasped, stretching up to give him a kiss on his cheek. "Never. Mew, Ash, you're an angel, that's what you are. I don't know how you got down here on earth, but you're an angel. Don't ever compare yourself to him. I know how much you hate him."

"Then aren't we being a little hypocritical?"

"No, because I really _am _a horrible person. Everybody says so."

"I'm going to have to kill this guy "Everybody". You know, I don't ever remember meeting this bastard who called you a horrible person. Pikachu, we're going to have to thundershock this guy to hell, aren't we?" Ash ranted.

"_Ash,_" She complained, trying to fight her smile. "You're such an idiot."

"How can you say that and _still _sound like you're in love with me?" Ash asked. "That's pretty amazing right there. I think that proves that you're a better person than your mother, huh? So what if she left your family? So did my dad. That doesn't mean you will. You're going to stick around and love this baby _and _me if I have to tie you to the house with chains strong enough to hold a rampaging snorlax."

A giggle. "Why do I laugh at your stupid jokes?"

"I think it's because you love me, but I've been wrong before."

"Love sounds about right," She agreed. Misty groaned. "I can't believe I fell in love with Ash Ketchum. No one's ever going to let us live this down. Every time we try and have a reunion, they'll all be arguing about who fell in love with who and when and who was there to see it and how they were right and…ugh, it'll never end. Not to mention all the never ending teasing from my sisters of how they all married rich and famous and I got stuck with you."

"Isn't Daisy starting to look at Tracey in a whole new way? You know, in a…romantic light?"

"Don't remind me. It's like my sister and brother are going out and the region's made it _legal,_" She moaned. "Mew, it's horrible. I couldn't be any more grossed out if Violet called me up right now and said she was madly in love with me."

"Well, you're feeling better already."

"You know how those hormones are," She giggled. "One minute angry, the next sad, and then I'm all smiles."

It was quiet for a minute, nothing but the sound of three breathing echoing in the small room.

"Boy or girl?"

"I want a girl," Misty grinned. "I'm too afraid the boy will take after you. Last thing I want is a little Ash on my hands. I don't think I'd be able to handle the little monster. His first words out of the womb will be 'I want to be a pokémon master'! Then I'll have to constantly pay people back for their bikes. I'll have to constantly bail this little wild thing out of trouble. He'll end up falling in love with a girl who breaks his bike, and I'll have to deal with a daughter-in-law who's just like me, only younger and prettier."

"Yeah, but if we have a girl, what if it takes after you?"

"Oh, there's a problem if it takes after me?"

"Why, yes there is, Mrs. Ketchum! Do you know what you act like?"

"…You did not just call me Mrs. Ketchum," Misty glared through the darkness.

"Well, that _is _what the ring on your finger signifies, isn't it? You're Mrs. Ketchum."

"Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! I did not take your name. I may be your wife, but I am _still _Misty Kasumi Waterflower and our child will have a first name, a middle name, and take my name and your last name to boot. I don't care if the kid takes an extra year to learn to write their name, that's the way it's going to be. We need the Waterflower name to continue somehow. We've only got four girls and I know the three "Sensational Sisters" are going to take their husbands' names."

"What about the name of Ketchum?"

"What about it?"

"Well, my mom didn't have more than one kid, y'know. Just me. One boy. Named Ash Ketchum. No other way to continue the legacy."

"I don't see what you're getting at. The kid is taking both our names."

"What if we had two kids, and one could take my name and the other could take yours?" Ash asked slyly. "Than we'd both get what we wanted and our kids could pretend they weren't related to one another. Two problems solved. Hey, we could even decide that all boys are Ketchum's and all girls are Waterflower's so we could just keep having kids until we've got at least two guys and two girls or three of each!"

"Ash Ketchum, are you trying to trick me into having more than one child?"

"…Yes…" He blushed. "Come on, Misty. I've always wanted a huge family and this pregnancy thing isn't so bad. You could stand to have another one, couldn't you? You're a fighter! You're strong! You're incredible! You're superwoman, come on, Misty! Let's have four or five kids!"

"Ask me while I'm giving birth."

"I'll ask you when you've got the baby in your arms," Ash giggled.

"Oh, you'd better not! You know no girl can say no when they've got a baby in their arms. That's cheating!" She leaned back into him, almost sending him toppling backward into the process. "So blue eyes or brown?"

"Genetically speaking, the baby is going to have brown eyes."

"You just want the babies to look just like you, don't you?"

"If I had a _choice,_ I'd root for a blue eyed baby. I wouldn't mind if we had a beautiful baby girl who looked just like her mother." He nuzzled into her neck. "A woman who was a late bloomer so the boys would stay away from her and I won't have to beat them away with a stick for trying to defile my princess."

"Ash! The baby isn't even born yet and you're scaring away her potential boyfriends!" Misty laughed. "Ash, we don't even know if it's a girl yet. For all we know it could come out to be a boy who's as girl crazy as Brock."

"Well, that's fine. If it's a boy he can have all the little girlfriends he wants. That just means he's popular." Ash shrugged it off. "I want one of each, at least. Or more of each. You can pull that off, can't you, Mist?"

"Genetically speaking," She mocked, "You're the one that controls the gender of our darling child. I'm telling you, after the hell I've gone through with just one baby, I don't think I'm ready for another baby. I don't know if I ever will be. I'm not even sure if I wanted this one. How did you talk me into this?"

"I didn't. The condom broke."

"You broke it on purpose, didn't you?"

"Well, you didn't exactly say no when I told you my last condom was busted," Ash retorted. "You were perfectly fine. When it comes down to it, I think you really did want to have the baby. You were just too stubborn to admit it. I think you're going to want a big family. You'll like being a mom. I know it. I remember how you were with Togepi and Marill and all those other pokémon you nursed. You want to take care of things."

"Mmm-hmm, you caught me. That's my biggest secret desire. Red or brown?"

"Hair? I don't care about that. How about blonde?"

"No baby of mine is going to have blonde hair," Misty said violently. "I don't want a little Daisy. Blonde hair in my family is just asking for trouble! We're having a red haired, brown haired, or black haired baby and that's all there is to it."

"Fine. Red hair. It's supposed to be lucky."

"Tall or short?"

"What kind of question is that? With our heights, even our _combined _heights, the baby is still going to be tiny. He or she is going to be short and you know it. Let's get to the real question. What do you want to name the baby?"

"I told you, I want to wait until we see the baby to name it."

"What, so you don't get attached before it's here? Never name something until you know for sure that it's yours, isn't that right?" He teased. "I don't want to name it after anyone we know. I mean, I mean _no one _we've ever met. I don't care what they say. They'll all be jealous if we name it after someone we already know. We have to give them a way out there name. Something no one's ever heard. How about Jambinasia?"

"Nice name."

"I think it's a great name. It can be a boy or girl name. Don't you think it's beautiful? Jambinasia. It sounds like a foreign flower found by some pretty rainforest river."

"It _sounds _like a spicy food dish in an Asian restaurant," Misty retorted. "Why don't we just wait like I wanted? I don't want to think of a name until I see the baby. My parents named us after the first flowers they got from their family."

"How'd they get Misty?"

"That one was completely random. I don't know how they got it either. But, please, Ash, I don't want to think about names right now. Can't we just look at the baby before we do?" She smiled affectionately down at her stomach. "Trust me, I'll know. When the baby comes, I'll know what to name it."

"And if you don't."

"We'll name it Jambalaya."

"It's Jambinasia."

"It's retarded, that's what it is," She giggled. She hauled herself to her feet and stood for a moment, wobbling, then sauntered over to the light switch. "Mew, I'm giving birth to another one of _you._ You, who wants to name our precious child some kind of food or some made up word or whatever you wanted to call her. I can't believe you." She leaned her head against the wall to rest for a moment, then switched on the light.

"Ah! It burns!" Ash shrieked, covering his eyes. Pikachu did so as well, slamming his little paws over already shut eyes and falling off the bed dramatically. "It burns! It burns! It burns like wildfire! Make it stop! Oh, please, anything to make the burning fire stop!"

"Oh, the light's not that bad," Misty teased.

Ash sat up and grinned cheekily. "No, but your face is!"

"Ugh," She moaned, rubbing her temples. "I can't believe you just said that. Why did I agree to bear your child?" She walked back to him, hair down and completely haggard in appearance, and put one hand on her belly, one to her back. "How do I look?"

Ash beamed up at her. "You're positively glowing."

"Oh, Ash," She said, holding a hand to her face.

"And now you're positively blushing."

It was a groan this time, "Oh, Ash."

**

* * *

**

"Ash, sweetheart?" Came the quiet voice at nine a.m. "Ash, baby, wake up."

"Hn?" Ash rubbed his eyes, sitting up in bed. "Wha, Misty? Is there something wrong? The baby's not hurt, is it? You're not crying again? Oh, Mew, no! This sucks! Wait, nine? We woke up too late! Did you turn off the alarm clock or something, oh crap!"

"Ash…my water broke." Silence. "Ash? Ash? Hello? Ash?" She pulled herself out of bed and stood up to get a good look at her husband. There he was, unconscious, unmoving, practically dead to the world from shock.

"Aw, crap."

* * *

Random little me. It was cute. I wanted to write some pregnancy stuff. I had extra time. Evan's oneshot is taking forever to write and I'm having trouble with my plot fic...

Drop a review if you feel like it!


	39. DM Conversations

A/N: Can you say "internet connection is evil and got me all freaky in my reviews because I repeatedly had to resend and retype things because of the freaking 1000000000 feet of snow outside my house in which I had to trudge through anyway because my school didn't want to close anymore."  
Because of that, I'd just like to thank everyone who reviewed last chapter, just in case my reply didn't get through. You know how these connections are –shakes head sadly-.

**DAML

* * *

**

May sat, one leg crossed over the other, sunning herself in her collapsible chair while waiting for registration to open up. She'd been to contests before, seven of them, in fact. She'd never had to wait in line before, though. This was a popular contest. Very popular. Jees, maybe she should have just skipped it and moved on to the next town. She'd have a better chance at winning with less competition around. That would be the smart thing to do. But, this would be a fantastic place to practice coordinating. She could pick up plenty of new ideas around her. Two sides to every coin, she guessed.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but could you move?"

May opened one eye and stared up. He was interesting enough. Green eyes she'd seen. Green hair was new. He did manage to pull off the strange purple and green look somehow. Very pretty for a guy. She did feel like she knew him from somewhere. "Pardon?" She asked, flashing a smile. "I've been daydreaming. I'm kinda out of it. A sleepless night will do that to you."

"First contest?"

"First with a line," She sighed.

He chuckled. "You'll get used to it in a while. It's easier if you've got someone to talk to. You're traveling alone? A pretty girl like you."

"Ah, you're a flirt."

"Sad to say it's true."

"You wanted something, didn't you? And, please, don't say anything romantically hopeless. I already had some guy, think his name was Brock, practically attack me with romance. If you've got a sister, tell her to stay away from him. I think he's a closet rapist or something."

"I'll be sure to tell her that," Drew grinned. "It sounds like a nightmare, running into him."

"Oh, no. He only did that once. Then he calmed down. Sure some redheaded girl had to drag him off of me, but the three of them did help my little bro Max find his zigzagoon. Dang thing's always getting loose. I hate the little creature but Mac grew some sort of bond with it so…" She shrugged. "Nice guys, though. The three off them really got us out of trouble from Team…Space Shuttle or something."

"Team Rocket," Drew chuckled. "All the rage in Kanto. Try to steer clear from them."

"Trust me, I will."

"Your brother isn't into contests, I take it? That, or he completely and totally ditched his older sister for…what?"

"The pokémon center. He's a trainer. If I want to keep my coordinator's spot in line, I have to wait. He can waltz into a gym any time he feels like, but I've got to wait forever in this boring line. Figures I finish all my books the day before I really need them."

"He have any badges?"

She smirked. "Tried for three, earned one out of pity.

"A victory for older siblings everywhere."

"You oldest?"

"No, youngest."

"Don't say I'm lucky until you've met my older sister. She's a master or torture and darkness. I swear, she made me cry the first time she held me…and she did it on purpose. You may have to get annoyed by a younger sibling, but you don't get the crap beaten out of you.

"We get in trouble for beating you up."

"Yeah, but you _deserve _that."

"You deserve getting hit for being so annoying! You younger siblings always start it and you never get in trouble with parents! You usually need to get your faces beat to a pulp to knock some sense into you and teach you a lesson about life!"

"What?"

"It's true."

"Younger siblings don't start it."

"They _always _do."

"I'm going to have to disagree with you. I can think of several occasions on which my sister started it."

"Kudos to you, you warped your memory. Younger sibs always start it."

"They do not."

"Yes they do."

"No they…you said your brother had a zigzagoon, didn't you?" Drew said, fighting the smile threatening to appear on his face. The little creature jumped about merrily, crashing into trainers as it made it's way down the line, just happy to be alive.

"Please don't tell me it's out of it's pokéball."

"Alright, I won't tell you."

"ZagzagOON!" It cried happily.

"Not again!" May moaned. "How does the stupid thing always get free? I'm going to loose my place in line now trying to get that thing! After I waited all night, too! Oh, when I find Max I'm gonna kill him for screwing all this up for me. I'm nothing but nice to him and…ugh! Get back here you stupid ugly thing!"

"It's always the stupid ones that manage to break free."

"What's it got in its mouth?"

(I've got a shiny! I've got a shiny! And I stole it from a fat guy!) It chanted with a cheerful tune, tossing its "shiny" up in the air with delight. The shiny happened to be a bottle cap, one of the many items zigzagoon would add to its ever growing collection of stuff. Zigazagoons adored stuff.

"Looks like a bottle cap."

"Where'd he get that?"

"With my best guess? He said he got it from a fat guy, but I could be wrong."

"Ugh, great. It stole something else. Here goes another awkward conversation with a stranger."

"It does this often?"

"At least four times a week. Sometimes it's every single day. Depends on the mood it's in."

"And it gets away from you every time?"

"Uh-huh."

"And Max?"

"He can catch him without a problem."

"Ooh, tough."

"Tell me about it," May muttered. "Steals something shiny and scrambles off. You want to chase it? I'll give you something nice. Tell you what, if you can catch him, you can have its entire horde of shinies. It's perfect. He'll get to start from scratch and you'll have a lovely collection to show your folks."

"I won't chase it."

"I figured as much."

"I have nothing against bribery though," He chuckled. He plucked on orange cube from his vest pocket and extended it to the bouncing creature not too far in front of him. "Do you think it'll eat this? I need to brush up on pokémon nature, because I can't ever remember what nature goes with what color."

(Food?) It gasped and twitched with wonder. (I LOVE FOOD! In fact, I have to eat or I'll _die_…)

"It'll eat it. It'll eat anything, but you don't need to waste a pokeblock on that! Save it for your own pokémon, really. It's no trouble for me to go and get it. If you could just stay very, very still while I try to catch the crazy little monster, that's all the help I'm going to need from you." She gritted her teeth.

"Are you sure? Because I would love to help you out."

"No, no. It's fine. Thanks for being a gentleman."

"It's no trouble. What kind of person wouldn't help out?"

"Don't talk. You might startle it away."

"You're just trying to stop me from offering you help."

"Uh-huh, now quiet." She turned her attention to the truant pokémon. "Here, Ziggy. Come here. You cute little unfaithful monster of a thing."

(I love food, yes I do! I love food, how 'bout you?) Ziggy danced delightedly. His eyes shone at the sight of food in Drew's hand, just a few feet away. (You've got food. You can be my new friend. You know what friends do. They share. Share! Share?)

"That's a nice song, Ziggy. I adore it. I think it's fantastic. Hey, I've got an idea, Ziggy. You could, I don't know, come here you ungrateful monster," May tried again, swiping at him pathetically and landing on the sidewalk while zigzagoon scooted sideways. "Ugh!"

"Comfortable?" Drew mocked.

"Oh, shut up!" May snapped.

"Well, you gave me a perfect opening. Denying my help and now you're embarrassing yourself to top it all off. It's a sarcastic kid's paradise."

"Yeah well, it's not nearly so nice for me. I almost never get it on the first try but I just keep hoping I will. I've got to go and chase it now and…hmm? Why's it still here?"

"I'm still got food." Drew chuckled. "Somebody wants a treat. Bribery never fails." He tilted the cube invitingly in his hand, listening to his new fuzzy friend's happy squeals at the sight. "Oh, do you want it, Ziggy? I'm happy to give it to you, all for free, not a trick in sight. Does that sound good to you, little buddy?"

(Freeeeeeeeeeeee food.)

"Uh-huh, it's free all right. But you have to come here for it."

Ziggy gazed mistrustfully at the newcomer. (…Throw it.)

"Come here. I'm not going to throw it, if that's what you're thinking."

(Then it's not free! I have to walk for it.)

"Come on, I won't hurt you. I just want to feed you. You want to be fed, huh? Everyone wants to be fed. I used to volunteer at a soup kitchen, I love to feed things." He waved the treat back and forth in front of Ziggy's nose, though still a considerable distance away. "Come here and it's all yours. It's all free, Ziggy. I have a new friend here who really doesn't want you to run away. Why can't you come here?"

(Hmm, this seems like a bad idea.)

"Come on, no tricks."

(It's like…I want to be fancy. I wonder if anyone around here knows the French word for déjà vu?)

"You are a stubborn little rat, huh? May, you're right. Most pokémon come right here. He looks like he's thinking about it though. That's better than nothing." He twisted the treat again. "Ziggy?"

(Oh, I think I'm about to have…ugh, now I want to be normal. Wonder if anyone knows the English word for flashback?)

"I think it looks like it's brain broke from thinking too hard," May mumbled dejectedly.

(Huh, isn't this what happened last time I got sucked up inside a pokéball? You know what? I think it is. I got pokefood then the kid got closer and he threw a rock at me so I shrieked and played dead and then it threw another pokeblock so I ate it and then I was inside the bad place. Then again, what _are _the chances of it happening twice? It's like lightning or something.)

"What if I offered two?" Drew pulled out another orange pokeblock from his pocket and flashed them both tauntingly. "Same rules. All you have to do is come here and they're all yours, Ziggy. I won't even try and take the second one away while you're eating the first."

"You would do that?" May gasped.

"No, but other people would."

(Well, that changes the situation entirely!) Ziggy cried. He leapt forward, doing a happy twist in the air before landing. He spun in a circle three or four times, fell on his face, got up, tried to do it again, then finally settled down with a big grin at Drew. (Free food!)

"There we go, I'm not so bad, am I?" Drew said, affectionately petting the creature on the head.

"Not to the pokémon," She muttered under her breath.

He smirked at May. "Well, look there. I'm a people person and a wild pokémon catcher. Those are great qualities in a boyfriend, if I do say so myself."

"So that's what all this is," she grinned casually. "It's a very good attempt to get a date. I have to admit you really had me going there for a second. I thought you cared about the pokémon," May teased. She settled back in her chair and Drew settled on the sidewalk.

"But I do care."

"I don't believe you."

"Aw, but I do."

"Really? You do?" She said, still unconvinced.

"Of course I do," Drew said, pulling out a mirror.

"What are you doing with that?"

"Having some fun, what else?" He made the sunlight reflect off of the mirror and onto the sidewalk for Ziggy to chase. If not, I wouldn't have wasted two pokeblocks and my cool guy reputation to keep this guy with the loving home where he belongs."

"You have a cool guy reputation?"

"And the girls go _wild _over it."

"Oh, yeah, I'm sure they go wild for you. What, do you have your own TV show or something?"

"No, but girls really do like me. I'm popular."

She snorted. "Okay, you seem real cool to me. You seem more the sensitive, poetic type to me."

"I was hoping a lovely girl like you would adore the poetic type."

"What do my looks have to do with what kind of guy I like?"

"Good question."

"Do you have an answer?"

"Good question."

"Will you say anything besides 'good question'?"

"Good question."

"Are you a vicious pokémon beater?"

"I'll have to say no to that one," Drew grinned, managing to get Ziggy to do a back flip of the far wall before chasing the light again. "Your brother had an amazing pokémon on his hands. You better keep it. Whether he wants to stick in battling or go for contests or both. Don't let this thing go."

"Humph, amazing pokémon," She scoffed.

"It is an amazing pokémon."

"Yeah, yeah." A hand reached over to Drew and plucked the mirror from his hands. May pressed the mirror to her chest, making the light disappear from the area. Ziggy began to twitch madly, shrieking insanely and running in circles wondering where his new friend went. "Real amazing."

"He is," Drew grinned, taking back the mirror. "He's just a little slow. That doesn't mean he's bad at this."

"He's very slow."

"No…"

"He's mentally retarded slow."

"But he's so agile and energetic."

"And hyper."

"Gee Pollyanna. You sure have a bright outlook on life," Drew rolled his eyes, glad to see a touch of red on her cheeks. He presumed it was from embarrassment, not the sun. "Are you usually this cynical, or do you just hate this poor pokémon?"

"I can't help it."

"Why?"

"It's a secret."

"Aw, tell your new friend. He's great at keeping secrets."

"Ziggy's great at keeping secrets?"

"Leave the sarcasm to me, alright? You're bad at it."

May sighed. "I used to be terrified of pokémon. Ziggy's just too hyper for me to ignore. He just brings up all my old fears about pokémon. He's scary, as stupid as that sounds. And don't ask me why I'm afraid of them, I don't want to talk about it. Just know it's a bad combination of family and pokémon."

"But what about your own pokémon, don't they scare you any?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because they don't move nearly as much as Ziggy does."

"You know, I think I'm starting to get attached to little Ziggy."

"You want to buy him?"

"Isn't that illegal?"

"No it's not."

"Oh, so you have the right to sell me this pokémon?"

"Yup."

"So you caught him?"

"Nope."

"Then you bought him?"

"Nope."

"Then how do you own him?"

"Well, I own my brother and he owns Ziggy so I own Ziggy. It's the transitive property. You've never used it since school, might as well find some way to work it into real life. Hey, I'll say you Ziggu for a dollar. I'd take a penny. Heck, I'll pay _you _to take this little ball of…fun away."

"I think you should keep it and face that fear of yours."

"Ugh, no."

"Aw, but you need to face your fear, May."

"And why is that?"

"The world is full of pokémon. You've got to get over it sooner or later. A lot of them can smell fear. In fact, I think every pokémon can smell fear. It makes them angry at you for being a coward, that you they think you're prey. Either way they're definitely going to attack."

"That's a lie."

"Nope, a study proved it."

"What study?"

"My study."

"_You _did a study?"

"I could've."

"But you didn't."

"So what if I didn't. I come up with an excuse awfully fast. That deserves some credit."

"And how do I give that credit?"

"By believing me."

"If you go out, you do a study, and then you come back to me with evidence. I'll believe you then."

"No you won't. You're stubborn."

"Aren't you supposed to be charming when you're trying to get a date? You started out so well, too. You were such a prince charming, you know? Now all you do is insult me and tell me how I'm going to be attacked by wild pokémon. That's not charming at all. It turns out you're just like all the other guys I've been around. I've tried dating quite a few. I think it's turned me cynical. Congrats, you've added to my hatred of all males on this planet. You're just like everyone else."

"I'm sorry."

"No you're not."

"I don't believe you know me well enough to make that judgment. Unless there's a polygraph test involved or you have a history in some secret organization, you can't assume everyone has the same tells. I could be telling the truth, and am just showing my signs of being guilty."

"Everyone has the same tells."

"Oh really? What are they?"

"Too many to list."

"Fine, which did I show?"

"Well, you didn't make eye contact. You've done that every time you've told a lie or something you weren't sure about. You look away all proud of yourself. Perhaps you should learn how to lie better, huh? I…oh, dammit! Ziggy! Drop that soda can out of your mouth you idiot! You're going to choke! Do you know how upset Max is going to be if you choke you stupid thing? Do you? Now drop it."

"You shouldn't be so cruel to him."

"He doesn't respond to kindness."

"He doesn't respond to violence from what I can tell either. Maybe it's just you?"

"Shut up."

"Well it's true. He doesn't seem to care much about you."

"No, he doesn't."

"Wonder why he hates you."

"He doesn't hate me."

"Oh, he just doesn't respect you, is that right?"

"He does respect me, for your information!"

"I can tell."

"Oh, shut up. You're so cocky."

"I think it knows you're afraid of it."

"No it doesn't! It's just a stupid pokémon! Do you know why it does everything it does? Do you? No, so stop acting like you know it all! You don't know it all. The reason it doesn't respond to anything is because it's a stupid creature that chases anything shiny. It's form the "pick-up" all zigzagoon have. He's just more hyper in his pursuit. He's getting his treasure to add to his horde, and he thinks I'm going to steal it from him. That's why he won't come. That's why he won't haul his stupid, fat butt over here. If the stupid thing had any desire _other _than "get the shiny" maybe he'd listen and come when he's called and not have to go to the Pokémon Center again to fix the cuts from the broken coke bottle."

"Well, it's not so stupid of him."

"What do you mean?"

"You said it won't come over because…?"

"It thinks I'm going to steal its stuff."

"You were planning on doing just that."

"But that's just instinct."

"No, it's intelligence."

"No it's not!"

"He drew a conclusion from data. That's intelligence."

"Then why can't he draw the conclusion that biting down on a coke can, like before, will do the same thing last time and cute his little tongue open?"

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

"Nice. Remind me to quote you on that."

"I didn't say it."

"Who did?"

"I can't remember for the life of me."

"Brilliant," May deadpanned, starting to stand and chase after Ziggy.

"Sorry. We can't remember who said what all the time. We'd be much too busy with the person to consider the intelligence of the quote. Hmm, crap. It seems like Ziggy is trying to hide from you so he can bite into his sofa can. Ziggy? I can see you."

(No you can't.)

"Don't you dare bite that coke can, Ziggy."

(If I can't see you, then you can't see me, right?) Ziggy asked rhetorically. He closed his eyes and prepared to bit the can, but the boy's voice made him stop. He wasn't allowed and the boy could apparently see him, despite the fact that Ziggy had closed his eyes. This was very strange. How could this happen? He needed a new plan, and he needed one very fast.

"Do you think he'll stop now?"

"If not, I'll keep an eye on him."

"Thank you."

"Welcome."

They were quiet, watching Ziggy play with his pop bottle once more.

"You're awfully good at that. He stopped right in his tracks. How'd you get that to happen? He never does that for me. He never does that for Max, either. He just keeps on doing what he's doing. It always results in a trip to the Pokémon Center at the end of the day. It can't figure out what happens when it bites."

"How many times has this happened?"

"Seven."

"Lucky number."

"As if."

"Sounds like a laugh when you bring him in."

"No, it's hell."

"You're so negative."

"Because it _is _hell."

"Why?"

"Because it's horrible! Everyone always thinks that we're abusive owners because the annoying thing is in pain. Pokémon can have accidents, just like people do. I don't know why people seem unable to understand that. Besides, if you're going to hurt a pokémon, why would you go for it's mouth."

"So it can't eat and it starves?"

"That's horribly morbid."

"I was just trying to come up with ideas. You don't have to be so insulting about it."

"You were just talking about starving pokémon! I think that deserves an insult."

"Does Ziggy want a 'block?"

"Ziggy always wants a freaking block."

(I like food,) Ziggy said, lifting his head from licking the coke the best he can from the inside of the container.

"Oh, quit it."

"Stop what?"

"Giving him food! I can't ask you to waste all that food. He doesn't deserve a reward for being a little cretin anyway. You're just going to encourage his bad behavior. We'll never get him to behave if you keep spoiling him. No more pokeblocks for the day."

(Aw, no food.)

"One day and he'll be spoiled for life?"

"Yes."

"You're just worried about taking charity from a stranger."

"You're not giving me charity, you're forcing me to it. You don't need to do this. I'll get my brother and the thing can go back in its pokéball where it belongs."

"Fear makes you mean."

"I'm not mean!"

"You're being cruel to the pokémon!"

"Only because you're so exasperating."

"I'm exasperating? You're the one who's being so stubborn about helping this poor pokémon. I'm just trying to keep it form hurting itself but you have to deny my help and condemn this poor little creature to life inside a cramped pokéball. Come here, Ziggy."

"So none of your pokémon stay in pokéballs?"

"All my pokémon are _dead._"

"Oh my…I'm so sorry, I didn't know. I feel so bad. Oh, man. I'm so sorry!"

"Don't be. I was just kidding."

"WHAT?"

"Come here, Ziggy."

May rubbed her forehead tiredly, giving up on the argument she obviously wasn't going to win and focused on a new topic. "Why are you doing all this?"

"I was trying a new pokeblock recipe. I had some berried left over, I just threw them all in. I figured that it would be a good treat, even if it didn't end up raising any stats. It turns out all my pokémon hate orange, and white for some reason. Who would've guessed it? I need to get rid of it somehow, and this seems like a great way to do it. It's better than throwing them out or force feeding my pokémon."

"I know it wasn't just to help."

"Well, helping was my secondary motive."

"It's should've been your first."

"I've changed my mind. Helping was my first motive. Getting rid of these 'blocks is just a great added bonus. I guess it's a matter of killing to birds with one stone."

"You can't change your mind about that!"

"I just did."

"But…you…and, what? No! That's not fair! You can't change your mind about this. It's against the rules."

"Rules?"

"Yes."

"What rules?"

"The rules."

"What rules?"

"The moral rules."

"Oh, please."

"What?"

"There are no moral rules. You make a decision on whether or not you can get away with something and that's the end of it. There's no good and bad."

"You want to turn this into a debate?"

"Yes."

"We've just met!"

"So? All the easier to debate morals with a stranger."

"We're not debating morals."

"How about politics?"

"No."

"Abortion and the death penalty?"

"No."

"Religion?"

"Do you want another crusade?"

"That could be fun."

"_No._"

"Fine then! I bet I'm a better coordinator than you."

"_Excuse _me?"

"Yeah, I bet I'm a better coordinator than you. We can bet on it if you'd like. I'd be glad to bet against you or any other coordinator. I've got plenty of cash to spare, but I could always use a little more."

"Money won't buy you happiness."

"Money makes the world go 'round."

"Some people got to…oh no! I'm not making any more money puns. I'm especially not having a pun war with you. Don't even think about trying to get me into one of those. They're stupid…and I'm usually pretty bad at them. I don't bet, either."

"Afraid to lose?"

"Yes, actually."

"Well, it's a good thing you can admit it."

"I need every cent I can get. Mac has a gambling problem. He's hooked on the mathematics involved in betting. He thinks he can't loose, though it's pretty apparent he can. He just lost a week of remote time last time we played poker together, but he still insists on betting."

"But you love him."

"Of course I do! He's my brother!"

"Aw, you love me?" Max asked charmingly, popping up behind May's chair with an adorable smile. He kissed his sister's cheek mockingly. "I didn't know you cared, sis."

"Max!"

"That's my name, don't wear it out!"

"Max," May's voice dropped to a low, furious growl.

"See, now you're wearing it out like I asked you not to do."

"What are you doing here?"

"I felt bad about ditching you."

"No you didn't."

"You're right, I lied. I'm just here for the Zigster over there. He hasn't done anything that I'll have to apologize for, has he May?"

"No, I've been chasing the little monster around for forever trying to make sure he stays safe and we don't have a lawsuit on our hands. Besides, it's three in the afternoon, Max. What have you been waiting for to pick him up? Don't tell me you just noticed he was missing."

"Huh, I overslept," He giggled nervously.

"Imagine that."

"Ziggy broke my alarm clock! I…I know you don't like him but you're not really going to get rid of him, are you? Please, he's a great pokémon! He never takes any damaged and if he could just eat some of those 'make him smarter' pokeblocks I'm sure he'd do great!"

"I'm not going to make you get rid of him, don't worry," May comforted. She grabbed her brother by the collar of his shirt and yanked him down roughly to her chair and kissed him on the cheek as he had done a few seconds before. He shrieked and squealed for mercy for a minute before she let him go.

"What'd you do that for?"

"What, I'm not allowed to be playful with my brother?"

"Who are you and what have you done with my sister?"

"Max," She chuckled, rubbing his head affectionately. "Stop fooling around. When have I ever actually told you I would make you get rid of Ziggy? Unless you've got a rabid Snorlax on your hands, you don't need to worry about a pokémon leaving."

"Huh, that's a little funny. You see, just a few minutes ago I could've sworn you said-" Drew began, only to be rudely cut off by a wicked glare from May.

"Shut up."

"But you-"

"Shut up."

"How rude are you being?"

"For the last time, will you just shut up?"

"So…he stays?"

May rolled her eyes and smacked his head lightly. "Of course he does! How could I make you get rid of him? He's the first pokémon you ever caught. I can't send him away. Think how boring everything would be if we didn't have him around."

"Hey," Max blinked, looking up at Drew.

"Who do you mean?"

"The guy you've been talking to. He's right there. He's got green hair and is feeding Ziggy orange pokeblocks. He seems to really like those."

"It might take a minute to remember exactly what I threw into the machine, but I think I can give you the recipe," Drew smiled. He raised an eyebrow at May. "You think men are so horrible, but you seem to be behaving worse than I am. I'm waiting, you know."

"For what?"

"Well, aren't you going to introduce me to your brother? You should be polite and set a good example, don't you think?" He smirked.

"I was going to."

"It didn't seem like you were."

"Well I was!"

"Then I think you ought to start."

"Max, this is…" May felt her face turn bright red. "This…this is, uh. Uh, um, this is. Shoot. Give me a second. Ugh. I know this. I can remember. Don't tell me."

"We're waiting."

"It's on the tip of my tongue. Don't tell me. I can get it."

"I honestly don't think you can."

"I _can._"

"I don't think you can either."

"Oh, hush up, Max! I'm working on it."

"Give up. It'll be next embarrassing in the long run."

"No, dang it! I can get it!"

"How exactly are you going to get it? I never told you my name," Drew chuckled.

"You…didn't?"

"Nope," He smirked. He extended his hand to Max and shook it politely. "I'm Drew, nice to meet you."

"Max Maple, nice to meet you too, Drew. If you could tell me the recipe for that stuffy that'll be awesome. Also, if you know the recipe for the pokeblocks that increase the smart stat, that'll be great. I guess you can probably tell that he really needs to get his brains back."

"No problem, I've got some written down in my pocket. It's an article out of a magazine."

"My sister's name is May."

"I know."

"Liar! I never told you my name!" May snapped, crossing her arms triumphantly.

"May Maple, normal-type gym leader's daughter. Your dad's name is Norman, right?" Drew smiled, pulling out the paper and handing it to Max. "Here, everything you need to know should be there. If you want some more details you can pick up a book about it at any Pokémon Center."

"How'd you know that?"

"She was in a magazine a few months back."

"You read that?"

"Well, I'm too self centered not to."

"What does that magazine have to do with you?"

"I was on the cover."

Max's eyes gleamed with realization. He glanced up at Drew with awe. "Oh, that's awesome! I know who you are! You were the youngest kid to ever win a contest! You're, like, a child prodigy or something. You got a two page center spread in that magazine!"

"You're _that _Drew!"

"No, the other one."

"You seem a lot nicer in magazines."

"I'm nice."

"Sure, in _print._"

"I'm nice in real life too. I've been good to you, haven't I?"

"You've been cruel."

"I take offense at that."

"You should. It was supposed to be offensive."

"And _I'm _the mean one?"

"You started it."

"When did I start it?"

"When you opened your big, fat mouth and insulted me, that's when!"

"When did I do that?" He challenged with a smirk.

"When you…crap. I don't remember, but I know you did."

"You don't remember because it never happened."

"It _did_!"

"So have you heard of _me_?" Max asked excitedly.

"You were mentioned in the article."

"Oh, right," Max laughed nervously. "I guess you've heard of me too. I really do think that's cool though, how you won that contest when you were just nine and everything. You caught your own pokémon, you didn't get a starter. It was really awesome. And then you came and annoyed my sister, that was just the icing on the cake."

"Glad you think I'm so cool."

"Well, you _are _cool."

"He's not cool," May snapped.

"Wow, I finally find a girl who isn't a fangirl and she's a critic. Typical."

"Wait…I just realized something."

"Bravo?"

"No," May grinned and laughed a bit. "We've been talking all this time and you never told me what you wanted. Why'd you start talking to me anyway? It wasn't just because you know who I am,  
right?"

"Oh, not at all. I didn't remember you until halfway into the conversation."

"You could've lied to make me feel better, you know."

"I know," He said, obviously pleased with himself. "If you wouldn't mind, could you move your chair for me?"

May blinked, staring up at him, then sighed. "Alright, Drew. Even though you're an arrogant jerk I guess I should be courteous." She got up out of her chair and pulled it out of the way, almost hitting Ziggy upside his head (accidentally, of course) but narrowly missing.

Drew, meanwhile, bent to pick a red rose up off the floor, where it had landed under her chair. "My Roselia started making these a while ago. I was going to take it to a science lab to see if it was really a rose or if it was some kind of attack." He paused. "You can have it, if you want. I'm sure Roselia can grow a new one."

"Well, I…" She started hotly. It trailed off into a sigh as she delicately plucked the rose from his hand. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Drew grinned. "I won this contest yesterday. No point in sticking around. See you around." He put two fingers to his head and flicked them off in a salute, then walked off with his hands shoved in his pockets and an arrogant smirk stuck on his face.

"Hey, you finally got a famous guy to give you something. May? May? Hello?" He waved a hand in front of her face.

May dropped her chair and threw her head into her hands. She was almost crying, almost laughing at the same time. Her head shook back and forth and she gave a moan. "Stupid, so freaking stupid."

"What?"

"I should've taken that bet!"

**

* * *

**

Well…that was pointless. How about a quote of the day to make up for it?

-After being hit in the head with a whiffle ball bat- "What are you doing?" -Kyle  
"I'm killing you Kyle, unfortunately, I could only afford a whiffle ball bat, so it's going to take a while." -Cartman  
-South Park, "Toilet Paper"

Review if you so feel like giving this random, pointless fic something to improve on or just need to comment. Frick, I should be working with plots…


	40. AMDM THEMES: PART V

This was posted so I could give out my little messages, really.  
Okay, here we go. Notes to reviewers:  
**EVAN AAML**: The oneshot you suggested is turning into a short horror story. Heh, sorry. After I finish one of those fics, I'll probably start working on it since it'll be the shortest of all three of my ideas. Thanks for the idea though, keep an eye out for it. It'll probably be called "Crimson Lake" or something like that.  
**Super Reader: **Should be next in line, you know, with the internet thing. I'm writing it. Thanks for the suggestion.

* * *

**1. THEME: Apples-------------Pairing: AAML--------Title: Choke**

Pikachu's eyes glazed over with delight. There were two thing she loved more than anything else in the world. Well, aside from her human friends and pokémon friends. She guessed she meant inanimate things. There were only two inanimate things she loved. The first thing was ketchup. She loved the red substance more than life itself. She'd guzzle it down in gulps, not needing to put it on chicken, fries, or hamburgers. The second thing was fruit; apples specifically. She just couldn't help herself when she saw that juicy red fruit dangling in a tree above her. She had to have one, just one! She wouldn't even eat it that fast!

"Pikachu, where ya goin', buddy?" Ash asked, standing up and cocking his head to one side. "Be careful with those apples, you don't want to choke on one. Remember what happened last time? We ended up having to visit that stupid doctor who didn't want to help you because you weren't human? What if we can't find the pokémon center again? This doctor may not help you out, and I can't let you die."

(You're just bitching because you got all jealous when he complimented Misty,) She eyed the boy carefully from her spot in the tree. Pikachu plucked an apple from a branch and help it happily in her hands. (You can't understand me yet, can you, nerdling?)

"I don't know what you said, but you better not choke on that apple, and that's all I have to say. I worry about you Pikachu."

"Aw, a boy and his Pikachu," Misty teased. "What love!"

"What do you mean love?" Ash yelped, glaring at the girl. "I didn't say I loved Pikachu!" He stopped himself and smiled up at the crackling mouse. "Um, Pikachu, I didn't mean that. You know I love you. I just meant, er, well…" He turned back to Misty. "Love is such a girl emotion."

"It's not," She retorted. "But gluttony sure is a guy emotion. Are you going to finish all that, Ash?" She pointed to his plate, filled to the brim with the meal Brock had prepared for them. The boy might even be going for seconds, if she knew him as well as she thought she did.

"You know that's a stupid question to ask, Misty." Ash grinned and rubbed his hands together as he looked down at his lunch. The he began eating his food at lightspeed, shoving bite after bite of the delicious meal Brock had prepared for them. "Wow, Brock, that sure is some good stuff. How do you come up with all these awesome recipes?"

"He's got talent, unlike some brainless trainers I know," Misty teased.

And, instead of Pikachu, Pikachu's Pikapi began to choke on his meal. At first, the two thought he was playing, exaggerating, thanks to Misty's comments. However, when he continued for longer than any joke could, the two began to panic. It wasn't until the boy fell forward to his hands and knees that Brock and Misty realized the severity of his situation. He couldn't breathe, and was ironically doing what he warned Pikachu not to.

"Oh my God! Brock, do you know the Heimlich thing?" Misty said, beginning to hyperventilate.

"No, I-"

Misty didn't let Brock finish his answer, but merely leaped forward, slammed Ash onto his back, and pushed down in the same place she knew to do for CPR, but letting her hand slide up as if to push the food out from the inside (and the wrong spot). The food did not fly from his mouth, but the action seemed to dislodge it enough for him to cough it up, chew it well in his mouth, then swallow it again, this time without choking.

She pulled off of him, eyes narrowed. "Did you just eat that, after you choked on it?"

"I'm hungry," Ash defended.

"Ash, that's absolutely disgusting!" Misty cried, clapping a hand over her mouth in disgust. "Brock, can we do something to get that out of my hand? I'm going to throw up tonight because of that! Who _eats _what they just choked on!"

"My ribs hurt," Ash complained distantly, rubbing where she pressed (which wasn't exactly his ribs, but Misty was a little too angry to point it out at the moment, though it did come up in many, many arguments later on.)

"Golly, Ash, I'm sorry for _saving your life_! I'll be sure not to do it next time!" She shouted, hands on hips. In a flash, she had yanked out her mallet and smacked him over the head twice, driving him deep down into the ground with a huff. "Ungrateful little jerk. You just see if I ever save your butt again. I sure won't. Sure as _hell _won't ever save you again. Oh, you just wait for the next time you need me, the only thing you'll be hearing out of this girl is how you still owe me a bike."

"Ugh, not the bike," Ash moaned. "Please don't talk about that stupid thing again. It wasn't on purpose."

"Yes it was."

"No it wasn't."

"_Guys_," Brock warned.

"You know what, Ash? I can say whatever I want, whether it's the truth or not, to you for a long, long time. Do you want to know why, Ash? It's because I saved your life! If I want to say the sky is green, you'll nod and say the sky is green, you got that? For the next…" She hesitated, "_month_, you'll be nothing but nice to me."

"Alright, alright. I get why I got hurt, and I get why you're saying all this, but why'd you go and tackle me?" The boy asked, returning to his meal with the same vigor as before, making Brock slap his forehead at his young companion's stupidity.

" 'Cuz I was worried about you, you idiot!" Misty snapped, then slammed a hand over her mouth in horror. "I, uh, mean, that didn't come out right."

Ash stopped eating to smile up at her. "Oooh, you were worried about me? You just _said _you were! Well, I guess we're going to have to go with what you say and since everything you say is right, doesn't that mean you lo–?"

"Shuttup Ash."

**

* * *

2. THEME: Taboo -------------Pairing: DAML -------Title: Silence (1)**

Certain names, certain topics, both of them were brought up in a conversation that day.

Some things in our relationship are taboo.

Well, I don't even know if you can really call it a relationship. It's more of a…fling? Fling is a good word for it. There's not supposed to be any emotion involved. It's supposed to be an unattached, sexual, passionate, disconnected thing we have together. If we were married or engaged or even just dating someone it would probably be an affair, I guess. I think it really is secretive enough to be one.

It's such a big secret. No one knows. Actually, Max might. I wouldn't be surprised if the little weirdo did. He's always sneaking around like he knows something I don't. Probably he knows that I know that he knows my secret, and he's pulling me along by a string. I'm his little puppet sometimes, and I don't know how he does it. Maybe it's all through him, the guy I told you I'm having that 'fling' with. Both Max and HIM are pretty manipulative.

"May, what are you thinking about?" He asked, massaging my shoulders.

"Nothing," I whispered, keeping my eyes on the window. "I'm just wondering about my house. Max is fine alone, but he's sleeping in. I'm kind of worried that I might've left the stove or the iron on. You know, just one of the many things that'll kill my brother in his sleep."

He chuckled, "Very funny."

"I thought so," I smiled lightly.

"May," He sighed. "You're not happy, are you? I can tell when you're feeling bad. You know how good I am at reading people." He grabbed my hand and led me to the bed, sitting down next to me with an arm around my shoulders. "Please, May, tell me what's wrong. I want to help. I really am a good person at heart. I don't always show it but…" He chuckled and whispered in my ear. "You know what an attentive lover I can be."

"You're sick," I said, a real smile fighting its way out. "But you're _very _good at being the twisted pervert I know and love."

"You don't love me," He sighed, shaking his head. "You don't need to lie. I know you don't really…" He looked at the floor, gulping. "I know that what we're doing isn't really what you want. I know you'd rather be somewhere else, with someone else."

"No! I…I want to do this."

"You're not doing it for the right reasons," He sighed. "It's just an escape for you. It's a way to get away from your problems, hide from the world for an hour or two. You've talked yourself into thinking that this is what you need. You…you think I'm what you desire, but I'm not. I never really have been. I know that." He laughed lightly. "I guess I've always known that, when it comes down to it. Some things are just obvious when you finally get the lust out of the way."

"Don't talk like this."

"You know it's a lie, May. I knew it was a lie too. It was last night, after we…after we do what grown up people do," He looked at me for a brief moment before looking back at the floor with a moan. "I don't even want to say it. It was just horrible. It was like the whole world came crashing down around me when you did that. I didn't know what to do. So I drank. That's why I came here hung over this morning."

"What did I do?" I asked breathlessly.

"You turned away from me."

"I was sleeping, I didn't know what I was doing I–"

"I touched your shoulder, while you were sleeping," He hissed. "You turned away from me. You tried to get away from me. And you said…in your sleep you said that I wasn't him. And I'm not. I never have been, I never will be. I can never, ever be the one you want. I know. I've come to accept it. Knowing wasn't the problem, accepting was. That was the hard part. I've known for months that it's not me."

"It is you," I whispered. "I want this. I want _you_."

"No you don't, dammit, and I really wish you did!" He shouted. His tone quieted. "Mew, I really, really wish you did. I wish you wanted me like I want you. I wish that I could get rid of this stupid passion I have for you. This stupid desire I've had for the past two years that's blinded me. It made me ignore the fact that I'm just a pleasure to you. I'm like a talking fucking sex toy to you, even if you won't admit it."

"That's not it at all."

"Yes it is!"

"I'm in love with you!" I shouted, leaping to her feet. My nightgown fluttered around me, seeming to be as angry as I was. Though, it was kind of hard for the gown to show any emotion but the violent ones. Hot pink was not a quiet color.

"No, you're not."

"Yes I am!" I screamed. "I'm in love with Drew!" My face paled. My hands slammed over my mouth before dropping slowly. "Oh my God, Harley. Harley, I didn't mean that. It was an accident! They sound the same! I swear, oh God, oh God, Harley I really didn't mean it. It was an honest mistake, could've happened to anyone. Please, please I'm telling you it's you I love. I've never loved him. I promise you."

"Get out." He whispered, collapsing onto the bed and shoving his head into the pillow.

After a few seconds of silence, I spoke, "Harley I…"

"What are you still doing here?" He whispered. He sat up, a remote hitting me in the chest from his throw. He screamed it, "Get out! Just get out of here and never come back! I don't want you here, you don't want to be here, so why don't you just get out of here? Stop wasting both our time and get out of here."

"God, Harley, I don't want it to end like this. Let's at least stay friends. Let's stay something. I can't just leave you here all alone. You drink, you smoke, you'll have a relapse. You've got depression, Harley, please don't make me leave you."

"All I want is for the woman I love to be happy," He whispered. "If that means watching another man walking you down the aisle, I'll let it happen. I wish it could've been me, May. But some things aren't meant to be. Thanks for your pity, May."

"Harley," I whimpered.

He was crying. "Don't make this harder than it already is! Why delay the inevitable? Go be with Drew, May. You'll make each other happy."

So I left, telling him I'd call him in the morning and I'd always love him, even if it really wasn't the truth.

Not that it mattered much.

He was dead from an OD by nightfall.

**

* * *

3. THEME: Neutral -----------Pairing: AAML--------Title: Switzerland**

I don't interfere with their fights.

Well, that's a lie. If it's really, really, really necessary, I'll break them up. They won't fight it then, we've got stuff to do, lives to save, dinners to eat. As long as it's something that's more entertaining than arguing (which isn't a lot in their minds) they'll let it go. I just wish they would let it go all the time.

But they won't, and me trying to get them to is pointless.

It's like trying to stop the times, trying to stop the rain, trying to get my dad to quit being a drama queen. Some things in life are just plain impossible, and a complete stop from Ash and Misty arguing is one of them.

I'm neutral, the Switzerland of the group if you will. I'm not going to fight in any wars. Why?

Well, frankly, it's not my problem.

Call me cruel, call me a bad friend, but Brock the Rock _knows _when to butt out. They don't want me to stop them from arguing.

They _want _to. It's the very thing that keeps them both from dying of boredom on the road. It's the thing that gives them the most pleasure out of everything we do. And why wouldn't it? They get awfully close during those fights. Ash is getting something, well, some_one_, to challenge him. Misty practically feels like she's back at her loud, argument filled home. The insults he tosses out makes her feel like he's family.

But, as I'm neutral, I hear the story from both sides.

They come to me and sit by the crackling fire while the other one sleeps or gets firewood or takes a bath or some other random thing. They never really care what their enemy is doing. As long as the enemy is out of sight, out of mind, they don't care. They get me alone, make sure there's no escape (thanks to Pikachu or Misty's mallet) and then try and have a "conversation" with me. I never really get to talk. They just have me there for laughs, I guess.

"I called her scrawny again." – "He called me scrawny again."

"She seemed kinda…angry." – "That _really _pissed me off."

"I don't know why I can't seem to come up with any new insults." – "Can't the retard say something witty, _other than _a pun?"

"I'm pretty good at puns though. Do you think she likes them? I know you talk to her like you talk to me." – "Please get Ash to stop making puns. You talk to him like this too, right?"

"Well I think-"

"Yeah, but here's the thing, Brock." – "I went through three years of therapy. Please don't be a rapist." ("A rapist?") "Therapist. I mean therapist, really."

"See, I don't usually get that close to anyone's face." – "Excuse me for being too white bread to be ghetto, but why is he always up in my grill?" ("Never say that again.") "Sorry, Brock."

"I think it's because…Ugh! She hates me, doesn't she?" – "I don't really mind though, Brock. See, the thing is. I kinda…like him."

"I'm just avoiding the real thing. I have a crush on Misty." – "He doesn't know how much I like the arguments. He probably hates them, doesn't he? He hates _me, _doesn't he?"

"Well Brock! What can I do? Ya gotta help!" – "I'm screwed, aren't I? I should just give up on men. Women seem to hit on me pretty often. That, and guys who are _way _to old for me."

"I can't answer your question, but I think that you should tell Ash/Misty how you feel."

"Well, thanks Brock. It's better than nothing." – "…Why can't you just _give _me the answer? Sometimes you're a real jerk when it comes to helping me Brock."

They usually leave at that point.

"And now you walk away, nice. …You're welcome!"

Yeah, people never stay long in Switzerland. They just get the good stuff (chocolate) and leave.

Know what?

Being Switzerland really sucks sometimes.

**

* * *

4. THEME: Birthday ----------Pairing: DAML -------Title: Never Had One**

"Happy Birthday!" My girlfriend explained, leaping out in front of me with a cake in open arms. "I made a cake and it's chocolate! Okay, okay, Brock helped a lot over the phone, but I did the actual work and the batter tastes great. The cake baked the way it's supposed to and the icing came out of a plastic can. It's a chocolate cake with orange icing and I'm sure it can't be all that bad because it's sugar coated sugar." She shrugged to herself and decided to add, "and butter."

"It's not my birthday."

"I guess not, but we never celebrate it and you won't tell me when it is so I figured today was as good as any!" She walked over to the kitchen table and slid the cake down with mother-like care. Then, of course, destroyed it by running a finger along the side of the cake and eating the icing on her finger. "You don't mind magically turning eighteen today, do you? Neither of us are minors anymore. Our relationship is no longer statutory rape."

I rubbed my temples, but sat down at the table across from her with a sigh. "May, thank you for the cake. It's very nice of you, really. I think it's beautiful and I'm sure it tastes fine. But why oh why would you make my birthday on Halloween?"

"Because I can't go Trick or Treating anymore and Max won't let me steal from his stash. The only thing I can possibly do to get sugar and not feel bad about myself for being a fatso is to pretend today is your birthday and run to the gym afterwards."

"You're going to go to the gym?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"And you're going to use the equipment?"

"Oh, Mew no. You know those things scare me. The meal and the muscled, scary people running on them, it freaks me out. I'm just going to run down to the gym, touch the door, then run back here tomorrow morning. It's my daily exercise. One day I'll get inside that place. I'll conquer my fear." She took another fingerful of icing. "But you could help me conquer that fear, Drew darling. Any good boyfriend would."

"Well, I'm not any good boyfriend."

"Ha ha," May rolled her eyes. "Now, riddle me this, why do you never tell me when your birthday is? I've been waiting and waiting for you to tell me when I can celebrate but you never do. You know how much I like to throw parties. It gives us a chance to see all our old friends again."

"So my birthday is an excuse for you to throw a party."

"You're catching on," She giggled. "You know, sometimes I just want to grab a handful of cake and stuff it in my face. You see little kids do that on home videos. I've never done it. I think it'd be fun. It'd probably taste better because you're doing something you're not supposed to. Supposedly, stolen things taste better. It's supposed to be from the adrenaline and stuff? You get a temporary high."

"You say you're going to get the same high that your get from stealing by eating that little piece of cake with your hands?" I asked. She nodded excitedly. "May, you're absolutely crazy, do you know that? You're out of your mind."

"That's why you love me. Now, tell me why you don't celebrate your birthday."

"Well, I didn't celebrate as a kid. I'm just thinking, why should I celebrate now?" I mused. "Now it's just a celebration of being one year closer to death, one year away from birth. It's rather depressing, if you think about it."

"That's not what birthdays are about."

"Really? What are they about?"

"They are about friends," she said, leaning forward over the cake. "They are about family. And they are most definitely about cake and presents." She grinned delightedly at him, then dropped her hand onto the cake to pick up a handful. "But, it's mostly about cake."

"Isn't it always with you?"

"Are you saying I think with my stomach?"

"I'm saying Ash taught you some bad habits, May-chan." I teased.

"Bad habits? I'll give you bad habits!" She laughed. She took one bite from the cake in her hands, giving a little moan of content, then tossed it in my direction, hitting me right in the face. It didn't take long for a full fledged cake fight.

When all the cake was gone, our bodies successfully coated in a fine layer of chocolate, my lovely girlfriend kissed me softly. "I hope you had a happy birthday, Drew."

My romantic, loving side replied, "It always is with you."

**

* * *

5. THEME: Lightning/Thunder-Pairing: AAML -----Title: Double Take**

I never looked at Ash like he was handsome or, er, sexy.

I hate that word. Sexy. It never fails to make me blush like a schoolgirl. It's not like I'm completely innocent or anything. I don't know why it makes me redden like that. I guess it's because it always makes me think of him, Ash Ketchum. The young, stupid, bony, fat, irresponsible, weird, hyper, energetic, argumentative little retard who wrecked my bike and wants to become the next pokémon master.

And I actually fell in _love _with that; the pokeball's twitching, but nothing's been caught kind of guy.

Contrary to popular belief, I didn't realize I was in love with the fool until very, very recently. I never thought of him as anything but, well, Ash. He wasn't my crush. He was my friend. We could talk about anything and everything.

But then we felt like being stupid.

No, it was not the first time we'd done something mortally stupid, and it certainly wouldn't be the last. This time was a lot more fun than it usually was, probably because no one was injured. Usually, our stupid things were caused by bets and challenges, not the pure thrill of the moment of the lightning far off in the distance and the rumble of thunder that made us shiver with excitement as the lightning storm approached.

"Misty, let's go outside," Ash whispered excitedly, grabbing at my hand.

"We'll get hit by lightning, Ash."

"I've been hit by Pikachu's attack."

"People _die _from being hit by lightning. It's very, very rare for a person to die from a Pikachu, or a Raichu for that matter. Lightning is much stronger. You might be able to live through it, but do you really want to test it? If another prophecy comes along, I'm pretty sure we'll need you."

"Let's go dance in the rain."

"I'm not dancing in the rain."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not five."

"I'm offended," Ash said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm not five, and _I _want to dance in the rain. Besides, we both know I always win whenever we want to go somewhere. Why don't you give it up and just go outside with me? I don't want to have to force you." When I didn't reply, he sighed. "Fine, fine. I guess we'll just do it the hard way since the stubborn, tantrum throwing five year old doesn't want to do something."

"Excuse me, I'm not-hey! Get your hand off my wrist!" I squealed as he led me towards the door. "Don't you dare take me outside Ash Ketchum, I'll kick your ass from here to Johto! I'll hit you so hard with my mallet you'll forget what you were doing."

"But then I'll just try to do it again, and doesn't that defeat the purpose?" Ash challenged, turning the handle and yanking us both outside.

The shock of hundreds of little rain droplets pouring onto your flesh tends to make most scream. My body chose to lock in place, and look up at the sky with a groan. "Ash, it's so _cold_ out here! I'm going to catch hypothermia or something."

"Then you'll just have to find a way to warm up, won't you? I know what! You could dance!"

My eyes didn't look down from the sky. "Ash, there's no music. Besides, you don't know how to dance and how I am supposed to dance without a partner? I'm not doing the stupid, twitching, arm flinging thing you keep trying to pass off as a dance."

"I know how to do Cotton Eye Joe."

"There is no way in _hell _I will _ever _dance to a song called _Cotton freaking Eye Joe_!" I said, finally snapping my eyes down to meet his.

My heart stopped beating for a moment. My stomach twisted. I couldn't believe I was looking at the same boy. His damp hair clung to his face, showing that he'd taken his hat off at some point. His clothes were soaked and tight to his form, but for some reason I wasn't looking at the hot body, I was looking at the angelic face, haloed with the effect of rain popping off of him as it hit, lit by the flash of lightning behind him.

He was _beautiful._ I had no idea why I had never seen it before. I couldn't imagine how I had been with him all this time, in tuxedo's and in jeans, and had never seen the way his smile was brighter than the lightning, his hair was wilder than the thunder, and his voice was more soothing than the gentle patter of the rain around me.

I smiled. "Alright, Ketchum. Show me how to do the Cotton Eye Joe."

"_Where'd you come from, where'd you-"_

"Don't sing."

"Aw, but Misty!"

"Don't. Sing."

"…Bitch."

"What did you just call me?" My eyes narrowed. "I'm going to kick your ass, you little twerp!" I ran after him, my mouth curled in a snarl.

Hey, just because I gave the guy a double take doesn't mean he's not still my Ash.

**

* * *

6. THEME: King---------------Pairing: DAML --------Title: Fast Food**

"You can't eat that," May gawked, watching as Drew, her rival, a boy so skinny he made her look obese, shoved the biggest hamburger she'd ever seen into his mouth. "I can't believe you're eating that! What's _on _that?"

"Um," He paused, looking down at his burger. "Meat, cheese, lettuce, tomato, ketchup, mustard, onions, pickles, mayonnaise, some of my chocolate milk shake and a few fries. It's really good. I'd offer you a bite, but I'm really damn hungry."

"How can you eat that?" She whispered.

"I just put it in my mouth and chew," Drew shrugged. He finished the last bite of his burger into his mouth, sucking some mayonnaise off his thumb as he did so. "It's pretty good. You should get a burger and try it. The milkshake really adds some good flavor." He said, glancing pointedly at her chicken fries. "I'm almost positive _that _tastes like total crap. Tell me, am I right or am I right? Why would you get chicken at Burger Ki-?"

"Because I'm _trying _to keep my figure. I live on a no calories diet, practically! How do you…how can you eat that? You're still skinny! You shouldn't be able to eat those kinds of things and still be skinny! That's not fair!" She squealed. Partly because of the reasons she listed, and partly because he was right. Chicken fries from that fast food place _did _taste pretty bad with no dipping sauce or milkshake to season it.

"I don't know. I'm a growing guy. I guess I need all the calories I can get." He smirked and pushed his milkshake towards her. "I guarantee splurging once a month will not destroy your figure. You're a teen. You don't have to diet like an adult. Go ahead, dip your chicken in the milkshake. It'll taste _so _much better than it would just plain." May pulled a face. "Oh, come on, you know you want to."

"Drew, that's disgusting."

"No it's not, it's fantastic," He laughed. "Try it."

"No, that's sick," She said. Her mouth did water for it, though. She hadn't had a milkshake in _ages _since a certain dark haired younger brother had bet her (no stakes but bragging rights involved) that she couldn't go a week without sugar, and she did love sweet things. "Milkshake and chicken? That can't taste good. It has to taste nasty. Chicken and a sweet, sugary, milkshake," She moaned and dropped her head to the counter.

"Seriously, why won't you eat the milkshake?"

"I bet my brother I could go a week without having sweets." She picked her head up with a sigh. "I've gone five days, I can't give it all up now. You know how much I hate giving that little pest the satisfaction of beating me. Watching you drink that milkshake is bad enough!"

To spite her, he picked up the milkshake and took a long drink before putting it down on the table. "Well, May. It seems you have quiet the dilemma on your hands, don't you? You can get pleasure now and take the blow to your pride, or keep your pride and torture yourself. I'd say take the pleasure, the last thing a coordinator needs is hubris." May blinked at him. "It's a mean word for pride. It means cocky."

"It's not hubris. It's a test of will."

"It's a bet with your brother."

"But I don't want to lose," She whined. Drew took another swig of his drink, temptation driving her wild. "Now you're just being mean. Drew! Why do you always have to be such a jerk? You know all I want in this whole world right now is a milkshake and you have to go and wave one right under my nose. You're a jerk. I hate you." She leapt to her feet, arms crossed haughtily over her chest, growling under her breath.

Drew stood up as well, calmly. "I wasn't torturing you. I was just making sure my mouth tasted sweet."

"Why do you care about your mouth tasting sweet?" May rolled her eyes. "That's got to be the most irrational excuse for something I've ever heard!"

So Drew snapped her towards him and wrapped her up in a kiss. "Was that sweet enough for you?" He asked with they broke apart.

She giggled. "Yeah, you're my burger king."

Drew groaned, "Mew, I hate puns."

**

* * *

**

(1) I'm such a little emo today!

Well, this chapter was mostly posted so I could give out those little messages, plus it's been a while since I've done themes, and they're so much fun to do! You only got six this time, 'stead of ten. I had the other ten thought of but I decided, nah. I think I'll throw those in next batch of themes I do.

Man, ten more to go. Sad, isn't it?  
If things work out the way they've been working out…don't take my word on this now, it's just a possibility…it could be bumped up to 60 or 75. Maybe not. I'll probably just write them outside the oneshot collection instead.  
Jesus, this is turning out to be the oneshot collection from hell, isn't it? It never ends!  
Thanks for your reviews!


	41. AM Internet

**Super Reader has suggested this fanfic. Thank you very much!**

More humor than romance, a little stupid. Don't you love double genres?

* * *

**AAML **

"Whoa, like, little sister, you _totally _fainted," Lily said. Her mouth dropped open as she stared at the Cerulean runt, unconscious on the floor just a few feet away from her computer. "Like, maybe I _shouldn't _have showed her what like, fanfiction was. At least like, I didn't bring her to deviantart! I guess somebody, like, found their way over to the celebrity section! Wonder what she, like, read?"

"Lily?" Misty asked, sitting up and holding her head. "Oh, Lily, I just had the worst dream! You were there, and I was there…You took me to this weird site called fanfiction dot net. At first, I was just looking up InuKag fics in the Inuyasha section. Then, I was suddenly in a pokémon section. It was just a bit of stories shipping people I've never even heard of before. Sipping…how do I even know that term? I was only in the section for a few minutes!" Lily shook her head at the pathetic girl. "How long was I reading?"

"Almost, like, two hours."

"Holy crap!"

"Hey, little sister, if you don't mind me asking…like, what'd you see that made you faint? I've, like, never seen you do _that _before."

"It was horrible, Lily! It was absolutely horrible!" She looked up at her older pink haired sibling, scarred for life by the fanfiction writers and their evil ways. "It was all of us, you, me, Daisy and Violet. We all hooked up in some kind of weird, lesbian, incest orgy!"

"Like, ew."

"I know! It makes you stomach twist, right?"

"Have you done anything with, like, a pokémon yet? I've, like, been paired up with a bunch of pokémon. It's, like, totally gross. There are, like, some really weird people out there. That's, like, why you have to check the rating. You shouldn't search with the mature rating, like, on."

"Lil?"

"Like, yeah, littler sister?"

"Stop talking about interspecies before I throw up."

"Well it's, like, true!"

"It's sick!"

"You shouldn't have, like, gone to the pokémon section!" Lily snapped. "Like, cool your temper before I, like, cool it for you. Who else were you, like, paired with."

"Brock and Gary."

"Like, weird."

"I know!"

"Not that. I mean, like, you came across egoshipping and gymshipping before pokeshipping." 

"What's that?" Misty asked. Lily shook her head again. "If you don't tell me, I'll just look it up myself! Fanfiction has a search engine! That's probably as powerful as Google! I'll have no problem finding pikashipping on here!" Misty snapped, then blushed. "Er, never mind. I meant pokeshipping. I've already seen what pikashipping is."

"It's, like, a really bad idea, Misty. You're totally going to scream or faint again. Especially since there's 215 hits for it and it goes by, like, twenty different names. It might be the most popular ship in, like, the entire fandom. It's, like, kinda fun to read."

"AAML?" Misty blinked. "What's that? Why is it in the same story as pokeshipping? Am I with two guys at once or something?" Her eyes narrowed. "What kind of girl do these people think I am? In the name of all that is good, I'm not a whore!"

"Like, Misty, wait," Lily stopped her from clicking the blue link. "You might, like, faint again if you don't find this out from a friend. You should hear this from, like, someone who really cares about you and you, like, can totally trust them back!"

"Who can I find like that?" Misty asked, cocking her head to the side.

"Like, me!" Lily huffed.

"I don't trust you."

"Aw, like, why not?"

"Because the last time I listened to you, I woke up in the hospital with a cast on my leg and a dunce cap on my head, and the time before that I almost got sold as a pokémon to a blind man after you put tape over my mouth and threw a fur coat on me."

"Well, like, the last time you trusted me you were, like, three and stupid. It's, like, not my fault that you believed me when I told you we like, were actually pixies from, like, Fairytopia and could, like, fly and stuff. Why would you, like, jump off the roof?"

"Like, why would you let me?" Misty growled, mocking the way her sister talked. "Because you didn't try to stop me and just _watched _me fling myself off the roof. It's your fault."

"I still say, like, it's not my fault you were that stupid," Lily rolled her eyes. "Anyway, you're, like, absolutely sure you want to know what AAML is?"

"Yes!" Misty shouted impatiently, blowing her bangs up and watching them float right back down. "I want to know who I'm paired with already! It can't be any worse than that freaking incest orgy I just read about! Who I am paired up with here? A mop?"

"I, like, don't think you're ready."

"Just tell me what it is already!"

Lily groaned, but leaned forward to explain to her little sister nevertheless. Misty blushed, then paled. "You're lying. Lily, you've got to be. All those people couldn't possible think…me and him…Nobody knows us! How could that many people ship us together, you liar?"

"It's like, him and I."

"Did you just correct _my _grammar?"

"Hey, like, just because I say 'totally' and 'like' all the time doesn't, like, mean I'm a retard. I know some serious grammar lessons, Misty."

"B-but I…" She swallowed, her situation coming back to her. "We couldn't possible be shipping together by that many people. Why would they care so much about him and me, er, I? We've only had two interviews together! How do they even know who I am?"

"Ash talks about you, like, all the time."

"…All the time?"

"Yeah, like, he totally won't shut up about you torturing him. But, like, sometimes he says nice stuff about you. That's, like, probably why you're shipped so much." Lily pause. "Plus, you, like, remember you kissed him on live TV? At award ceremony?"

"I was just fooling around," Misty squealed with horror. "We…Lily, we didn't actually kiss. We fakes it! Even the press knows we fakes it and the press never knows anything!"

"Which is, like, probably why people, like, pokeshippers, more like were so eager to ignore the reports. Everyone, like, probably know about those secret crushes you have on another," she teased wickedly, tweaking Misty's nose before darting a few feet back.

"Okay, Lily, that's not funny."

"But you two _do_ like each other, don't you?"

"No! We don't like each other! We're just close friends, Lily. Close friends of opposite genders tend to, you know," She blushed, "flirt and stuff. It doesn't mean anything! It's just two friends being playful. We're not serious about it. There's nothing going on."

"Uh-huh, like, I believe your lie, little sister," Lily teased.

"It's not a lie! It's the honest to goodness truth!" Misty said, her voice leaping up in pitch. "I ought to give these people a piece of my mind! Lily, tell me how I talk to them and tell them how completely and totally wrong they are about how I feel about Ash!" She slammed her fists on the table.

"Like, don't be a flamer, little sister. That's, like, totally gay."

"Lily, you shouldn't call anything gay unless you mean happy or a fanny pack."

"Like, why a fanny pack?"

"Because, Lil. Fannypacks are gay. There's no other way to describe them. Fannypacks and manpurses." Misty shook her head in disgust. "Anyway, what's a flamer? Besides, the slang term for a flamer is supposed to be a really flamboyant homosexual."

"It's, like, someone who says, like, totally mean things about people's stories. If,like, you yell at them for the pairing, then you'll totally be a flamer. Nobody likes them, like, at all. You could, like, go to their profile and PM them. Then, like, you won't have a nasty review on their story for people to, like, see."

"Great."

"But, like, there's kinda a catch."

Misty groaned and smacked her forehead. "Ugh, I should've known. There's always a catch with you guys. What? Do I have to talk in webchat or something?"

"You have to, like, make an account."

"Can I just use yours?" Misty asked.

Lily giggled nervously, "Well, like, you see. I kinda, like, did a flame on this total noob and got kicked off the site for violence. It figures, like, she knew how to hit the, like, abuse button better than she could like, write. Can't believe I, like, got my account frozen for that."

Misty rolled her eyes at her sister's pouting face. "You probably just got spoiled off of Violet's writing. Not everyone is as good at that as our sister, especially not out here on the internet. It's hard to write well, very few people can do it. You shouldn't judge people so critically."

"But, like, the least they could do is, like, not write in webchat," Lily grumbled.

"You? The queen of texting? You're against webchat?" Misty snorted. "Somebody alert the media. When did that happen, Lily? I saw you using webchat on IM just a few minutes…well, make that two hours ago. This fanfiction stuff is addicting."

Lily crossed her arms over her chest, still pouting. "IM is, like, on thing. Like, writing my favorite Fruits Basket manga fanfiction is, like, totally another. If you, like, are going to write something, at least, like, make a real effort into it. Otherwise it, like, wastes their time and mine!

"Good for you, Lily. Now help me make an account so I can swear this girl out," Misty grinned, her fingers tapping on the keyboard lightly. "Oh, this is going to be so sweet."

"Like, fanfiction won't let you, like, swear," Lily explained. "It'll, like, totally censor you out if you swear at her in a PM. Like, try your best to keep it clean, little sister.

"Oh, son of a (THIS COMMENT/WORD HAD BEEN CENSORED ALONG WITH ALL LINKS (TO AVOID PAM) TO WASTE YOUR TIME, COMPLICATE MATTERS TO NO END, AND RAISE YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE BY FANFICTION. THANK YOU, AND WE APOLOIZE FOR ANY INCOVIENCE)!"

"Lily," Misty blinked, "I just got censored."

"Well, like, you shouldn't have. The story's, like, only rated T."

Raven the Ravenous shouted, "You broke the fourth wall _again_!"

**

* * *

**

Dear Reader,

Are you really Misty Waterflower, or are you just another girl named Misty?  
I guess, thanks for reading my story, even if you aren't into AAML. We're  
all entitled to our own opinions on the pairings, I just think that Ash and  
Misty are so cute together! I've been an Ash fangirl ever since he first  
came on TV. Then I saw how he acted around you (or Misty, if you're not  
her) and how she acted around him and I just thought they were in love!  
They act so, so much like boyfriends and girlfriend and I'm such a fan of  
love/hate relationships from real life and anime! If you wouldn't mind  
reading it again, could you tell me what was wrong/right with it? I just  
want to be a better writer, and every review would help a lot! I've got  
other stories too, if you don't want to read AAML. I do a bunch of  
pairings from Naruto and other shows on Cartoon Network if you want  
to look at any of those.  
- AAMLlover12490847682736827

**

* * *

**"Like, did you even read the story, or did you just, like, totally freak when you saw the names?" Lily scolded. "Didn't you just, like, tell me not to judge writer's so, like, quickly? You're, like, such a total flamer, Misty. You're, like, making some inspiring author's, like, totally feel bad." 

"Put a lid on it, Lillian," Misty said, reddening. "I guess you're right…in a way. I…I haven't read it. I should before I say anything. I can't criticize what I don't know. That's wrong." She eyes the computer warily. "It's only rated K . It can't be that bad. It's just like, fluff and friendship kind of thing, right?"

"Yeah, sure, like, are you going to faint if you read about you and Ash? That's be, like, so hilarious and I'd love to get it on tape or camera. Ooh! We could make that, like, our Christmas Card and send it out to, like, everyone we know! That'd be, like, so funny."

"Shut up, Lily, I'm not going to faint," Misty winced. "I'm probably going to be redder than a tomato though. I hate my face sometimes. I blush way too easily. Can't I just walk away from all this? I'm sure AAMLlover1283773653987289173 won't care. She/he will just move on with their lives and forget this ever happened. Nobody actually cares about that stuff."

"Or, like, maybe she'll kill herself because your comment was, like, the final straw in her crappy life!" Lily said excitedly. "Ohmigod, if we see a teen suicide on the news, it'll, like, be all your fault and you'll totally be guilty for, like, ever!"

"Lily!" Misty shouted.

"Well, like, it could happen," She shrugged. "I was just pointing it out. If you don't want to, you don't have to. It's, like, as simple as that. Besides, I read pokeshipping stories all the time! They're not that bad! I'll review it for you if you need me too!"

"You what?!"

"Yeah, I, like, totally think you make the coolest couple out of all the ones I've seen. I've, like, even seen fanart of you two. I should show you sometime. Maybe you'll, like, think the half naked picture of Ash are cute." She grinned. "After all, he is, like, your boyfriend."

"He's _not _my boyfriend," Misty growled. "I'm just going to read this story and find just how out of character it is. She'll see that I'm not supposed to be with Ash. Our personalities clash too badly. I'll prove it if I have to do it one shipper at a time!"

"There's, like, thousands."

"Fine, I'll just marry someone else."

"Like, ever heard of an affair, little sister?"

"They wouldn't."

"They, like, totally would. There's, like, so many love triangles it makes my head spin."

"Doesn't take a lot to make your head spin," She muttered too low for Lily to hear, then continued in a louder, disbelieving voice, "You've just got to be pulling my leg! No one would…it's impossible to think that someone would ever…"

"Like, completely change your personality, morals, hopes, dreams, thoughts, action and feelings? They, like, don't really know who you are. You, like, might as well be one of a million TV show characters who are, like, trapped inside all these stories. You can't, like, deny them their freedom and creativity, Misty. Only the government and, like, the people who set guidelines for writing websites can do that."

"Thanks, Lillian, that makes everything loads better."

"Like, don't call me Lillian, Kasumi."

A shudder from Misty. "Mew, I hate that name." She drummed her fingers on the desk for a moment, then turned to her older sister. "I'm still feeling guilty about that comment, Lil. What if they do end up killing themselves and I feel guilty forever?"

"You, like, know how to fix it."

"But it's a story about _Ash _and _me _doing romantic things we normally wouldn't do. If I didn't like him, which I don't," she added hurriedly, "I would just think that this is gross, never going to happen nonsense. If Ash did something romantic, maybe I'd even laugh at it. But…but if I liked him…"

Lily waited before urging her to continue. "If you liked him then….like, what would happen Misty?" Another pause. "And it's, like, Ash and I."

The red head glared before giving a sigh and running a hand through her hair. "Then what if it was good, and I get my hopes up? What if I could see stupid, dense Ash admitting he liked me for reasons that I can't think of, but these people can? I can't get my hopes up just to get them crushed."

"Is that, like, why you're afraid to vote Obama?" Lily asked.

Misty blinked. "Lily, who the hell is Obama and what does he have to do with me getting my hopes crushed? I'm spilling my heart out, at least explain what you mean in normal terms."

Lily sweatdropped. "Sorry, Misty. It was, like, an American joke."

"I don't get it."

"Neither do I. They, like, have a weird sense of humor. But, like, back to your situation and big sister here to help you out with, like, all your problems!"

"I'm just letting you know, I think you're the dumbest out of all four of us."

"Yeah, but, like, I'm the best actress and the skinniest so it all evens out. You got the brains, an I, like, didn't. I got the great figure and you kind of, like, chubby."

"You're supposed to be making me feel better! What are you trying to do, give me an eating disorder on top of my love life dilemma? Gee, Lil, what great help you are! Maybe you ought to go into therapy!"

"Like, shut up and read the mewdamned story!" maybe some damn good will come out of it, like shutting your big, chubby mouth for a damn minute!"

"I don't have a big, chubby mouth! I've got a great body and mind and I'm not chubby! You're an air headed fatso and Dad liked me better than you!"

"Fatty, fatty, two by four! Too fat to fit through the kitchen door! One day she have a heart attack and bam! Die on the floor!" Lily said, already preparing tears as a self defense.

"Shut up! Nobody likes you! You're barely in any fanfictions as it is! I'm the famous one now, so grown up!" Lily burst into an actress' tears, which only cause the oh-so-adult-ish Misty to cross her arms, stomp her foot and shout in a whiny voice, "I know you're faking! Baby, baby, stick your head in gravy! Wrap it up in bubble gum and send it to the navy!"

"Ha! You say I'm immature? What kind of retort is that?"

"It's a damn good one! Now get out of my room so I can read fanfiction."

"I'm, like, already gone, but I'm totally getting my revenge."

"Dad still liked me better!"

"You're still, like, chubby."

"Get out of my room!"

**

* * *

**

Lily picked up the videophone, a wicked gleam in her eyes. On, how her little sister would pay. It was how things worked at the Waterflower household. The place did feel like a jail more than anything. It was a never ending game of risks that involved forming alliances and destroying your enemy. Misty had come after the twins had begun their battle against their wicked older sister, However, with the arrival of the small, screaming mess maker known as "little sister" the three had banded together to fight a common enemy. Thank were probably in order to the young girl for bringing the Sensational Sisters together, but none were given. You didn't give thanks to your enemy. You tied her to the diving board with a gag and left her there 'til morning because she spit in your water bottle and didn't tell you until you had finished drinking it.

" 'Lo, Ketchum's residence. I'm a little tired right now. I can't get my fingers around a pen right, so please don't make me take a message. I'll probably cry if you do. It was such a bad day yesterday, with Gary and everything, and if one more person is a jerk to me, I'm just going to cry until I run out of water. I mean it. So, who's calling me and what do you want?"

"It's Lily."

"Crap. Misty's in the hospital or dead, isn't she? Her dying request was that Ash Ketchum buy all of her sisters bikes, wasn't it?" Ash moaned, turning on the screen. His chin was on the desk, his forehead resting on the screen, and his eyes were tightly closed. "Come on, she got her old bike back, I don't owe her one anymore. I don't care if it was her dying wish."

"Like, do you want to come over to see her today?"

"She has cancer or some deadly disease they can't cure. Like AIDS. She'd blaming me or suing me or something. What does she have?" Ash moaned. "Or worse, what's she suing me for? Do you have a good lawyer? Can I borrow your lawyer?"

"Like, Ash!" She shouted. "I'm just trying to blackmail my sister! Could you, like, haul you ass over here so she can be, like, totally embarrassed? I, like, need to get her back for being a total insulting bitch to me!" He voice took on a whining tone, the same tone she used in collaboration with her sisters to persuade Ash to do almost anything around the gym. Including chores like cleaning the tank and feeding the pokémon (which resulted in a bleeding finger). "You just, like, got to help me, Ash! You, like, hate her as much as I do."

Ash blinked slowly. "But the bus ride is over an hour to get to Cerulean. I really don't want to ride the bus for an hour. I don't want to pay for the bus fair either. Wait, that was wrong. I _can't _ride the bus before I _can't _pay for it. I'm broke. Well, I've got enough to get me to Cerulean, but then I'm broke. You want to pay me back for my fair? It's ten dollars."

"Like, sure," Lily agreed. "I'll pay for your fair and give you another, like, ten dollars if you would come and, like, totally embarrass her for me!"

Ash gave a slightly dreamy smile, fantasizing about his future purchases with that ten dollars. "I could buy the new triple whopper with that and have some cash left over. Then I could wing by Wendy's and pick up a frosty and still be home in time for dinner. I'll come."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh, but you'll have to feed me while I'm there too. Meat would be great. What do you have in your freezer?"

"Like…I think we've got some breakfast sausage, but I don't know why you'd, like, eat it plain." She wrinkled her nose. "Like, besides that, imagine the calories! You're going to, like, get totally fat and then how would you get a man?"

"I'm not trying to get a man," Ash shrugged. "I'm not really trying to get a girl, either. Anyway, I'm not going to eat the sausages plain. You've got maple syrup, don't you? If you don't, I guess I could probably use chocolate sauce or powdered sugar."

Daisy's face turned green. "Like, okay, just get over here as fast as possible and stop talking about what you eat," She hissed, and slammed the phone down.

"Pikapal, you'll love me when I'm fat, won't you?"

(Why would I love you when you're fat when I don't love you when you're skinny?) She asked, not a trace of humor in her voice.

"…Bitch."

(Sparky.)

He snorted. "Sparky, what kind of insult is that?"

(It's not an insult, it's a threat,) She crackled dangerously and ran up onto his head. Her little claws scratched his scalp as she got a good, stable grip. (I think I'll stick to the traditional thunderbolt. How does that sound, my dear trainer.)

"Not in the face."

**

* * *

**

Ash walked off the bus, Pikachu on his shoulder, and walked up to the gym with a sigh. "Why does the bus always smell like vomit and old people?" He asked, wrinkling his nose and inhaling the scent on his shirt. "Ugh, and how does it always manage to stick to people?"

(I don't know, I don't want to know, and you shouldn't want to know either. Couldn't you have won a contest or something? Then we'd come by limo instead of bus 39.)

"If there was a contest, I would've entered and won it. It would've been all expenses paid and come with a free indestructible camera." He paused. "And it wouldn't have been on the bus."

(I hear ya sister.)

"Like, hey cutie," Lily giggled. "I was, like, worried you wouldn't be on time to totally embarrass my sister, but you like, totally made it! I'm so proud of me!"

"Why not me? I braved the bus."

"Like, shut up, Ash. I'm gloating right now," Lily snapped.

"No one likes Ash today," He sighed dejectedly, kicking the dirt beneath his feet. "When can I have my sausages? I really am hungry. I haven't eaten for over two hours!"

"Go upstairs and, like, embarrass my sister before I kick your ass from here to, like, Kanto."

"Did you steal that insult from Misty? She said that to me all the time in the Orange Islands and Johto regions. It doesn't really works as well when we're already in…you look kinda angry at me. Your left eyes is twitching and…I think I'll be heading up the stairs now."

"Like, good idea, twerp," She snarled, voice dripping with venom.

Ash gave a nervous laugh before turning to race up the stairs to Misty's bedroom. "Pikachu, you'll zap Lily if she comes after me, won't you, buddy?" He asked hopefully to the rodent on his shoulder, scratching her lightly behind her ears.

(When you call me buddy, it makes me feel unfeminine. I haven't got a dent in my tail because I'm deformed and now you've gone and made me feel bad about myself. I hope you're proud of yourself.)

"You're such a woman."

(Because I am a girl!) Pikachu glared. (You know what? I don't have to take this. You can pick me up when you're back on the bus home. I'm going to try and steal your sausages.) She leapt from is shoulder and raced down the hall too fast for him to catch.

"Mewdamned rodent! See if you get any ketchup tonight!" Ash shouted, shaking his fist after her playfully. "What is this? Be-Mean-To-Ash Day?"

"Ash? Is that you? Or is that Lily?" She opened the door, not seeming to care that she was clad in just a long tee shirt and flannel bottoms.

"Nice outfit," He chuckled.

Misty grinned and shook her head. "Well, I would've gotten all dolled up for you but I didn't know you were dropping by. So, tell me, to what do I owe this pleasurable encounter? Or, in words you can understand, why the hell are you here, Ketchum?"

"Your sister. She told me to come and blackmail you. Something about you being mean to her and she's seeking her revenge?" The red head snorted and waved him off. "What is it with your family and grudges? I know women are supposed to never let things go, but don't you all take this a little too far?"

"You broke my bike. I can't just let you get away with it, can I? We have problems letting things go. I don't know why Lily would send you over here. I'm not doing anything near blackmail worthy." She felt her face twitch the second she finished the sentence. The computer was gleaming with some rather blackmail worthy things.

"You do," Ash grinned, his curious nature taking over. "It's right on your face! Let me in, show me what's going on in there! You watching something you're not supposed to? Playing with dolls? Cross-dressing? Listening to Alvin and the Chipmunks?"

"Ash, _you _listen to Alvin and the Chipmunks," She glared. She took a step to center herself in the doorway and blocking his way in. "You're not getting in this room, Ketchum, to if I have to stand here all day and night. Get your butt back to Pallet."

"I'm getting into the room whether you want me to or not. Why don't you just save yourself the embarrassment and let me in?"

"Never," She snarled. "Do whatever you want, but you won't be able to get through this door. I'm like the Alamo. I've got nothing to lose but my pride. Bring it." She urged him on with her hands.

"Just remember, you asked for it," He grinned, backing up to the other side of the hallway. Tackling her at his current height and weight was probably not the smartest or safest thing to do. Then again, the boy had always been reckless. So Ash happily raced forward, felt his body collide (a bit painfully) with Misty's, then topple down to the carpeted floor hard enough to make the gym tremble.

"Oh, ow," Misty hissed. "You are so lucky I can move my toes, because if you had paralyzed me you'd be so sued it's not even funny." She punched him in the head. "You can't be doing that anymore, Ashy. You really hurt my back with all that extra weight you've gained."

He beamed and jumped to his feet, flexing his biceps proudly. "It's all muscle too. I've got the power deep inside. Hey, look, your computer's on! His face lit up and he raced over to the machine despite the screaming girl attached to his leg. "Oh! You finally found our section of fanfiction. I was wondering when you'd get there. I was more expecting screams of horror than you reading AAML stuff, but people surprise you. You want me to show you some good ones? I know the fanfiction classics."

Misty quietly stood up, then sat in the chair next to the rapidly clicking boy. "You…" She began after a moment. "You read all this fanfiction stuff too? Even the romance stuff?"

"Half of the stuff on ff dot net is romance. If you don't want to read it, you're usually screwed. Even action fics usually have some kind of kissing in them."

"You read all the pairings?"

"Nope, just some of my personal favorites."

She was fixated on his face now, searching for lies. "Your favorites? I'd guess you're not reading much about you and Pikachu, what are your favorite pairings?"

"Shippings," Ash corrected. "Anyone with Brock, 'cept you, of course. It's a little weird to see my best friends making out. I tend to read contestshipping. A few different shipping with Dawn. But mostly, I read AAML, pokeshipping, twerpshipping, whatever you want to call it."

"Why would you want to do that?" Misty blinked in confusion, eyes flicking to the screen in shock. "Hey! How'd you get into-?"

She was hugged by his soft lips covering her own, holding her close with a small smile on his lips. "If you didn't want me to know you liked me, you shouldn't have reviewed my story."

"Your grammar was horrible and it barely deserved to be called a story. It was a loose idea you connected with sentence fragments, fluff, and a kiss at the end. Also, you have the most retarded screen name. Even worse than AAMLlover38743982743824798327493874398212309."

"That's a mouthful," he laughed.

Misty rolled her eyes and pulled him onto the comfy, carpeted floor. "You're a real charmer, Misty'sSecretAdmirer. Do me a favor drop the fanfics?"

"Why would I have to write a new one? I already got my fairytale ending."

**

* * *

**

"Oh, Brock, that's way too fluffy." Ash complained, nestled comfortably with Misty on the couch. "That's not even how it happened. I thought we were trying to _stop _internet rumors, not make more of them!"

"I think it's a great tradition line," Misty countered. "I just think that Ash shouldn't be the one saying for him. It's too romantic. It's too…girly and rainbows and fairies and gay."

"Misty!" Tracey scolded at her language.

"I meant happy gay, Tracey, not gay gay. There's a big difference. Brock, just delete the story, alright? It's a horrible idea anyway. I've seen so many of these fics around it makes me nauseous to think about.

"But my brainchild!" He cried, wrapping his computer in a hug. "Screw all of you! My baby will be posted whether you want it to or not!"

The other tree rolled their eyes and whispered, "Someone's going to get flamed."

"Hey, look! A review already! From TeHsToRyDeStRuCkToUr. He sounds nice…"

**

* * *

**

Two quotes o' the day, since I missed last chapter's.

Latin teacher – "And no person in the world will even have the same genes as you.  
A very tired, seventh grade me – "But what if you give them your pants?"

"Yakko, can you conjugate?"  
"What? Why, I've never even kissed a girl before!"  
"No, no, no! I'll conjugate with you."  
"Goodnight everybody." –Animaniacs


	42. AM Slap

At pokémon dot com, there is a personality test. (Heh, new pokémon dungeons coming out! Wicked sweet!) I'm a bulbasaur, what are you? Go take it!  
Guys, this is only going to fifty. That's my decision. HOWEVER, that's not to say I won't be writing oneshots. I'll still write them. I'll write lots of them. I just won't be pressing myself to write these. I really want to work with plot fics and branch out in all writing categories, not to mention my friend also draws all kinds of stuff for me, so I want to write some waycest (two brothers of a band we like falling in love…sometimes I hate myself for these pairings…) for her.  
Keep a lookout for me when this is done! There'll be plot fics and oneshots abound!**

* * *

**

**AAML (Sorry contestshippers (who make up a vast percentage of my reviewers))**

It started with what it ended with; a slap.

It was evening. The sun was setting over the tree tops ahead and the mosquitoes were beginning to buzz, attacking any open flesh they could find. Of course, this was a major disadvantage to anyone in, say, a midriff yellow short sleeved shirt, suspenders, shorts and sneakers. Misty's arms and legs were already covered in bites, a few on her legs managed to grow to the size of quarters. This, along with a very cocky and mosquito-bite free Ash Ketchum pulling out the big guns in an argument was not boding well for the young lady's temper. He had to go for the "attack her family" tactic on that horrible day.

The raging redhead, hands balling up into fists and loosening uselessly to her sides was the one who set everything into motion. With a furious screech, she raised her hand and did something she had never done before. She slapped Ash Ketchum across his face. "Ash Ketchum, you're disgusting! And before you ask, you pig, yes you did your damn math right. My mother had Daisy when she was fourteen!"

One hand covered her mouth to hold in a sob before she spun on her heel and raced into the woods. Pikachu was the only thing brave enough to go after her.

"I…er, said something, didn't I?" Ash asked Brock nervously.

"Alright, Ash. Let's think. She told you how old her mother was and you started an argument about how young she was. She then ran off in tears. Let's try to connect that dots. What could you have said that made her hit you and cry?" Brock rolled his eyes, then smacked Ah in the back of the head. "Do I have to give you a list of things not to argue about? Does Misty make fun of your family? Last time I checked, you don't have a dad."

"Hey!" Ash cried indignantly.

"Now you know how it feels," Brock sighed. He led Ash over to the campfire and each sat on the blanket that had been laid out for dinner. "Now, I know you're not the smartest guy in the world, but I think it's time to go over what you can and can't argue about. You shouldn't argue about morals, politics, religion or family. That's the big four. You should never, ever argue those things with a hot tempered girl like Misty. Especially if you want to be friends with her…" He grinned. "Or something else."

"Like a rival?"

Brock rubbed his temples with one hand stretched across his forehead. "I meant like a girlfriend."

"I don't like her like that!" Ash flushed. "I…I mean you just saw what I did! I made her cry. You know why? Because I hate her! I hate her more than I've ever hated anyone before because she's a horrible, mean, scrawny, ugly runt!"

"She's right behind you, and she's really starting to cry."

"Oh man! Misty I'm sor…she's not behind me," Ash turned and blinked. "Brock! You lied again! I thought Misty was really standing there!"

"What does it matter?" Brock teased. "I thought you hated her."

"Well I do but…shut up," He snapped, crossing his arms over his chest. "It's just because if she cries she'll get really angry. Then she'll come and beat me up. Who wants to get beat up? You don't! Well, maybe you do. You do seem to like getting hit by all those pretty girls you flirt with." Ash tapped his chin thoughtfully. "And Professor Ivy apparently hurt you pretty bad because you do that weird things every time someone mentions her."

Brock had long since gone into his 'emo corner' and huddled up into a crying mess of a man. "That name, that name. Do you have to speak her name in my presence? The horror. The pure, unadulterated horror of the name! The name that haunts my very should, no matter where I go it always seems to follow me."

"Well, of course it does Brock. She's really famous and junk. Are you going to get up? You're doing that thing longer than usual and it's starting to freak me out."

Brock immediately sat up with a nod. "Okay. It's time to forget about my love life and move onto yours. Ash, I advise you let Misty cool down and apologize to her in the morning. Then you should admit your undying love with chocolate and flowers. After that, you two will be married. I'll be the best man, and your cake will be vanilla."

"I like chocolate."

"Ash, you can't have chocolate wedding cake!"

"Why not?"

"It's the law or something so it has to be vanilla! I'm sure Misty wouldn't argue this with me!"

"Misty likes chocolate too. I don't want to marry her, but if I had to I'd want chocolate cake. I think she'd want chocolate too. Also, I don't think it's legal for anyone under the age of fourteen to get married. Misty looked it up on the internet that one time she was trying to get that rock star guy we met up with to sign a marriage contract. She was awfully angry when she found out she couldn't. She took it out on me. I was dizzy for days."

"Ash, you're missing the point."

"Oh, right. I'm never having vanilla cake."

"Ash! The point was you and Misty getting married!"

"But I don't even like her. Plus, I'm never getting married until the law that says the cake has to be vanilla."

"Ash, there's no law about the cake."

"But you just said-"

"Would you shut up and talk about something other than food or pokémon for once?"

"How can I shut up and talk at the same time?"

"So this is why Misty hits you," Brock muttered. "Will you promise to talk to her and tell her how you feel? I'm sure if you tell her you just act the way you do because you have a crush on her she'll be fine with it. She'll probably even be flattered! Besides, I think she likes you to. Maybe after this you two can go out on a cute little date together! Oh, I can just imagine it now. You two holding hands in a movie theater…"

"What movie are we watching? Is it a chick flick? I don't want to watch a sappy romance movie. I hate that kid of stuff. Don't make me watch something like that Brock, have mercy on me. Can't we be watching something violent? How about Extraterrestrial Versus Hunter?"

"Number one, no, that's not romantic. Number two, how did you manage to see that movie? Isn't it rated a little high for your age?"

"Number one, why would I want to be romantic. I mean, it's Misty. Ew. Number two…" Ash eyes flicked around nervously. "Don't tell anybody I told you this, and I mean anybody, but Misty gets her hands and the best movies ever because her sisters' boyfriends will buy any movie as long as it gets them a date with one of the Sensational Sisters. She carries a lot more than pokémon in that red bag of hers, let me tell ya!"

"Okay, Ash, everyone knows you like Misty. It's okay to come to terms with it. I'm here to help. I can make the transition from friend to more than friends easier than you ever imagined. Don't make any cracks about how I've never had a girlfriend, because I have," Brock informed in all his seventeen year old glory. "I've had many girlfriends, in fact. Just because I haven't had any while I was with you guys doesn't mean anything."

"Are you trying to convince me that you know a whole lot about girls, and you know how to get girls, but you don't because you're traveling with me and Misty? 'Cuz I wouldn't believe you if you did. I guess the girls in your town must be real desperate or something."

"Shut up Ash. We're talking about your problems, not mine. Misty's crying!

"Problems? What problems? You're trying to make problems where there aren't any. I'm not in love with Misty. She's not in love with me. We're not going to get married. We're not going on dates. I'm not going to confess undying love or any of that stupid romantic mushy stuff. I'm a guy, a real guy, and guys don't do romantic stuff. The only stuff I'm interested in is pokémon battling, pokémon training, and one day beating that smirk off that Gary's face. Misty's not crying, either. Misty doesn't cry. She's a girl, yeah, but she's the type of girl who keeps all her emotions in like you're supposed to."

"Why do you say 'that Gary' instead of just 'Gary' like normal people?" Misty sniffed, walking in on the last sentences. "And everyone knows all you think about is battling you big loser. You're too dense to think about anything else."

"You okay, Misty?" Brock asked.

"Of course I'm okay, Brock," She said snappishly. "I'm perfectly fine. Ash can't make me cry. I just had to get away from here because all the dust Ash was kicking up got in my eyes and made them water. That's why they're all red. Pikachu was the only one nice enough to come and check on me. I hate men. Thank goodness Pikachu's a girl or I just might go crazy from all the stupid things you men do. I don't understand you at all. Ash, do you mind if Pikachu says with me tonight?"

"Why she staying with you?"

"Because we want to talk about how you and all of the other stupid men in this world are complete and total jerks. You wouldn't want to, because you're a stupid boy, but Pikachu and I do because we're the superior gender."

(Ash doesn't own me. Why does everyone think he owns me? So he's got a freaking pokéball with a freaking lightning bolt on it. I'm not in the stupid thing, am I? No. And why is that? Because I'm free. Misty, if you want me to stay and talk with you, you don't have to ask Ash. Just tell him so he doesn't freak out and have a heart attack. The last thing I need is another trainer to come along and try to force me into one of those balls of death.)

"But Pikachu! Why do you want to stay with her? Why don't you stay with me? I'm the one who got slapped. She didn't get hurt or anything!

Pikachu slapped her forehead with a soft moan. (Man, you really don't know anything about girls. Here I was, hoping you weren't as stupid as you seemed and it turns out all my hope was in vain. Stupid, stupid, Pikachu. Ash, I need to stay with Misty tonight. If you get jealous, just pretend that I'm doing it so you don't wake up with Misty holding a steak knife over your chest with that creepy evil smile she does, alright?)

"But then I'm gonna have nightmares," Ash whined. "Please stay with me?"

(No.)

"But I'm your trainer."

(You think I care? When was the last time I let you make me do something? I can't think of a single time that I've done anything I don't want to do. I'm going to sleep with Misty tonight and that's final. You can sleep with the screaming egg if you want. It probably won't be screaming now. It's cute when it's unconscious. It also makes me never, ever want to have an egg unless we're planning on giving it up instantly.)

"You're a horrible mother," Ash said, flopping onto his sleeping bag.

(I'm not your mother.)

"Then stop acting like you're my mother."

(Watch it. That sounded pretty insulting.)

"So what? You're not my mom. What are you going to do? Attempt to ground me? Sorry, can't. You're not my mother!" Ash stuck his tongue out at the mouse.

(No, I'm an electric type pokémon. What do you think I'm going to do?)

"Er, right, I forgot about that," Ash sweatdropped. "Have I mentioned lately how much I love you, Pikachu?"

(And where am I sleeping tonight?) Pikachu warned. (And don't be an insensitive jerk about it. You don't do sarcasm well. It doesn't suit your personality.)

Ash flushed and curled up a bit. "Alright, you can sleep with Misty. But you'll sleep with me tomorrow, right? I'm still your favorite? You don't like Misty better than me, do you? I can't be that bad of a trainer! You can't hate me! I thought we'd gotten past the rope and rubber gloves!" He cried, throwing his arms around the rodent and cuddling her close. A grin appeared on his face. "Sensitive enough for ya?"

So this is why she hits him…Pikachu mused to herself quietly. It's all coming clear to me now. How can someone that stupid be so witty at the same time? It's like an oxymoron, and he probably doesn't even know what an oxymoron is.

(If you don't drop me by the time I count to three, I'm going to fry you like Fried Kentucky Chicken, got it?) Pikachu asked. Ash didn't release the strangle hold. (One…two…two and a half…) In truth, Pikachu didn't want to zap Ash. No, not because she thought it mean or cruel or wicked, merely because it tended to hurt her as well. Human bodies were fantastic conductors, as were pokémon bodies. So while she could control the flow of electricity pouring out, when it circled around Ash and came back into her own system, it tended to fry her a bit too. This was why most Pikachu's preferred long distance attacks.

"No three?" Ash asked, sounding a little disappointed.

Pikachu chuckled darkly. (There can be a three, a very, very big three if you want there to be.)

Ash dropped Pikachu to the ground lightly with a shake of his head. "Nah, I'm not in the mood today. Zap me later in case I need an idea. I don't need one now though." He leaned down to whisper in Pikachu's ear. "Even though Brock tells me I do. Hey, Pikachu, would you mind doing me a favor tonight? Not a big favor, really, just a little one since you're already going to be there and everything and it won't be too much trouble…"

(Yeah, what do you want?)

"Could you, uh," His voice dropped into an even lower whisper. "Alright, Brock's got this crazy idea in his head that I like Misty or something. I don't. You know I don't. I mean, as a friend she's not so bad but I don't even like girls yet. I'm only ten after all and Brock's already trying to get me married and he won't even let me have chocolate cake at my wedding and he's trying to make me watch sappy chick flicks like _37 Dresses_. I mean, what girl could possibly go to that many weddings and fit all those dresses into one closest? It's impossible and so is the way all the girls find their true love and stuff."

(…Ignoring that fact that you somehow know the plot of that movie by heart, could you cut to the chase? What do you want me to spy for, Ash? Be specific. I have to know the exact question so I can ask discreet questions to get Misty to tell me. Do you want to know if she's planning any pranks on you? You know if she comes up with any good ones I'm just going to let them happen. Watching you two pull pranks always brightens up the trip.)

Ash took a deep breath in and out. "Please find out if Misty likes me," he said in a rush.

(You want to know _that_?) Pikachu gasped, her eyes widening. (I can't ask her that!)

"But Pikachu! I thought we were best buddies! Come on, let's be best friends again. Just tell me what Misty thinks of me. I'm not asking you to go through her diary or anything. Misty knows that anything you tell her you always tell me. I mean," Ash snorted, making Misty and Brock look at him suspiciously, "You tell me everything she says. I practically know all her secrets. Bet I could blackmail her if I really wanted too."

(Ash, there's a lot that I haven't told you about her. There's also a lot about you that I haven't told Misty. If you want me to tell you absolutely everything, you have to trade. I'll tell you how she feels about you if you'll let me tell her how you feel about her. Ugh, that was way too many pronouns. But, anyway, if you like Misty and I find out she doesn't like you back, I promise not tell her. I'm not mean. Well, not _that _mean.)

"Pikachu, please do this for me? I promise to tell you how I feel about her before you tell me how she feels, okay?" Ash blushed and sunk lower to the ground. "See, I'm not good at all this emotion stuff. I don't know if I like her or hate her or love her or anything. I can't tell. I try and try but I don't know. I don't think I like her like that. I _hope _I don't like her like that. But…I dunno. I guess knowing how she feels will help me figure it out?"

(How will that help, Ash? I really don't understand your mind. Are you sure you don't need that jolt?)

"Don't worry! I'll figure it out! It's just like a battle, right? I've just got to work really hard and it'll all make sense in the end." He scratched his head. "Man, this love stuff is complicated. Maybe it's just girls that are complicated."

(Trust me, _everything _is complicated when it comes to mates.) Pikachu nodded. (Now, everyone's getting nice and comfortable for bed. You tuck yourself in and I'll be talking to Misty. You know, half the time I run over and talk to her during the night anyway. You barely even notice. It's weird. You usually can't sleep through anything. You can't even sleep through a little storm. Maybe you're afraid of thunder?)

"No…I sleep outside…" Ash said awkwardly. "I think it's more that I don't like getting wet than a hidden fear of thunderstorms. I sleep pretty heavy when I'm at home. Talk as much as you want. If I wake up, I guess I'll just get the answer to my question all by myself."

(I hear you wake up and your ass is going to have more electricity than a field full of solar panels pumped into it, got it?) She warned, a bit of sparks coming off her cheeks.

"Why do you like girls so much better than me?"

(It's a pokémon thing. We like females,) Pikachu giggled licking his cheek fondly. With that, she raced back to Misty, plummeting down into the warmth of her sleeping bag and already beginning the conversation that was sure to turn awkward fast.

It took Ash two minutes to fall asleep. It took Brock seven. After the two boys began their loud (but strangely comforting) snoring, Misty finally let herself open up and talk to the pokémon cuddling into her chest while Togepi rocked back and forth, snug inside its little egg. It didn't really like to cuddle, probably because its shell kept it warm enough without the extra heat of a human body next to it. (A/N: Hey, watch the show. That egg is about twenty feet away from Misty when they sleep.)

"Ugh, I know you're a pokémon and can't tell anyone but Ash or Brock, not that you would tell Ash or Brock, but I still can't make myself tell you!" Misty whined. Apparently, she wasn't as ready to open up as previously thought. "I _want _to tell you, Pikachu. I really do! I swear I do! I'm sure you already know all about it. Brock probably does too. I don't think he's exactly joking about our…thing we've got anymore."

(I understand. Who can blame you? It's hard keeping those kinds of secrets bottled up inside for so long and then trying to let them go. How about instead of telling me what I already know, you answer some of my questions. Here's my first one. So, Misty, I know we're almost never in any cities and you rarely see any guys aside from the two foghorns snoring over here…) Misty giggled at that. (But, I was wondering if you happened to have a crush on anyone?)

"I…" Misty gulped, muscles automatically tensing up defensively. "I do."

(There we go, that wasn't so bad, was it?) Misty shook her head, tangled locks falling into her face. (Good. Now let's move onto a slightly harder question. Is it a girl or a guy?)

Misty barely brought her hand up to her mouth in time to stifle what would've been a loud guffaw. "It's a guy. In fact, it's a guy who's just about my own age. Here I thought I'd be going for eighty year olds, but it turns out I'm interested in guys as old as me. How boring am I? What should I do to spice up my secret crush? Maybe he should be a transvestite? Ooh, I know! He's madly in love with a pokémon."

(Is he really?)

Misty sighed. "In a way, I guess he is. He doesn't really notice me. Not that I mind, I guess. Or, at least, I try not to look too much like I do. I don't know if I'd be able to bear it if he didn't just reject me, but rejected me for a pokémon." She wrinkled her nose. "But, I guess that's the way it is with men, so the saying goes. Aren't men supposedly supposed to think of their careers first and love lives later?"

(Why don't you tell me more about this secret crush of yours? It doesn't have to be a name. You don't even have to tell me how he looks yet. You can just tell me what his personality is like. What do you like about him? What does he do that really makes your heart flutter?)

Misty nibbled her lip. "You'll know who he is by the description, even though you're pretending not to know now. I know you know who it is. I don't even know why I don't just tell you straight out. I should just say I have a crush on…" Her mouth stay open, as if trying to force the words out, but failed and settled for chewing her lip again. "I can't. I really did try this tie. Ugh! Why can't I just say it to you…or to him."

(Come on, tell me about his personality.)

Misty blushed and ducked her head away from Pikachu's gaze. "What if I do that cliché movie thing? You know, go off into a daydream about him while I'm talking. Then you start making fun of me on how much I'm in love."

(Misty, you know me better than that! When have I ever made fun…scratch that. Forget about what I've done in the past. I promise I won't make fun of you now.)

Misty sighed and closed her eyes. "Alright. I…I guess it's because he's nice. Every girl wants the guy to be nice. Well, at least I do. I don't really like the tough guy thing. I don't even mind it when he cries, actually. It's like he's got a million different sides to him. He can be brave or sad or angry or happy or anything without any hesitation. He's just so open and honest about everything. He'll tell you practically any secret if you promise not to laugh at him." She felt her mind grow a bit hazy as she began to daydream about Ash revealing _the _secret to her and shook it off with a head shake so forceful she felt the whiplash.

"He's really nice to his pokémon too. Even if pokémon are the main focus on his life, what's so bad about that? That's what makes him who he is. There's nothing wrong with that. I love pokémon too much too. That's another thing. He's a lot like me. He's stubborn and has a hot temper and he won't let anyone insult him without taking them on, trying to redeem himself. We both get crushed pretty easily too. Whenever you lose a match you feel so devastated, more than the usual person I guess. Maybe that's why we're so good at making each other feel better. Because we've gone through it before and know what we want to hear."

Pikachu spoke softly, trying not to ruin the slightly trance like state the human girl was slipping into. (He sounds very nice. I wouldn't mind having him as a trainer. So, what does he look a like? A guy with a personality like that must be cute.)

A small giggle. Misty bit her lip hard at that. She would _not _be a cheerleader or a fangirl or anything of the sort. Even if it probably was the kind of thing he'd want. Boys like him always got the pretty, stupid girls with blonde hair and big, stupid eyes. "I don't know if I'm ready to talk about that or not. I'm already…fuzzy."

(Go ahead, tell me.)

"He…" She swallowed hard. "He's got black hair and brown eyes."

(Oh, please. That's nothing.)

Misty blinked. "What do you mean that's nothing? I'm not a writer, you know. I can't give you an awesome profile of the guy. Just how good with words do you think I am? If I ever see a murder the police are gonna hate me because I've seen the guy's face and can't describe him at all."

(Not that! I mean that way he looks. I mean, please! Black hair, brown eyes. You've seen it a million times before,) Pikachu said nonchalantly, inwardly leaping that Misty seemed to be getting a little angry at Pikachu waving off her crush. (I like the black hair and blue eyes combination much better. It's so much more original than that stupid brown. It has no personality. Brown is such a bland color. Bet his eyes are just as bland as his lifeless hair.)

"His hair isn't lifeless!" Misty snapped. "His eyes aren't bland either. It's amazing. They just light up whenever he's won a battle or he sees food or he sees a new challenge. Even when he cries, his eyes still manage to stay beautiful. They don't turn red or anything, like mine do. Well, everyone's eyes turn red, but my face gets all blotchy and I'm red from ear to ear. He barely has a ring of red around his eyes, and they still manage to shine, even when he's sad. And I can't forget the look he gives his pokémon whenever they're hurt or frightened or anything. It's just so sweet and compassionate and, most importantly, they're so genuine!"

(He sounds amazing, those brown eyes of his.)

"His eyes are amazing," She said with a dreamy sigh. "I just wish that…"

(What?)

"I wish that sometimes…maybe he'd look at me with the same look he gives to his pokémon." She sighed. "That same look he gives whenever they've done something right. You know, after they've won a battle or fought off some kind of medical problem. He always gives them the look that…even from where I'm standing it almost fills you with happiness because you know that he's proud of you and you've done something right, really _right._"

Pikachu nodded. (It's an amazing feeling. I can't imagine what it's like to…) Pikachu swallowed. _To be on the other side of that look._ After a while, the look Misty was talking about, the one all Ash's pokémon were so familiar with, had practically become a drug. They needed a fix. They needed to battle so they could win or they could try hard and lose just so they could get that bright eyed smile telling them what a good job they did. How hard must it be to not feel it.

"I've done good things, too," Misty swallowed.

(Of course you have, Misty. You've done plenty of good things.) Pikachu agreed. (You took in Togepi and you're treating it well.)

"I mean, I did _good _things," She said, feeling tears rise. "I…I did. I helped him. I did things other people didn't do for him. I made him feel better when he was down. I gave him advice. I was there to be his friend. I mean, I tried hard too. It wasn't always to impress him. I never thought of impressing him, really. It wasn't until after that I wondered why he wouldn't look at me the way he looks at you when you've done something good."

(Misty, I'm sure he's been proud of you before. With all the times you've helped him how could he not? Maybe you just forgot.)

Misty shook her head, wiping away tears. "You don't forget a look like that. You don't_ ever _forget a look like that. At least, I wouldn't. I'd give anything, I'd _do _anything, I'd…I'd be anyone he wanted me to be if just once…" he voice cracked and she bit her lips again. If she didn't stop soon, she was going to bleed, and then she did. The coppery taste tapped the tip of her tongue. "I wish he'd look at me like that _just once._"

(He…he will, Misty, I'm sure of it.)

"No," Misty swallowed. "He won't. He's not ever going to look at me like that because he can't. He's too honest. If he doesn't feel proud of me, he won't give me that look. He's never proud of me though. It's because I'm me. It's because I'm that scrawny redhead who follows him around. I could paint the Mona Lisa and he would probably just call it a 'nice stick figure'. I'm just not good enough for him."

(Maybe…maybe he's always proud of you and afraid to show you.)

Misty gave a bitter laugh. "He can't hide his emotions. He never could. He wears them on his sleeve and if he doesn't think you're good enough, well, hell, Ash Ketchum won't lie to you. If he hates you, he hates you. If he loves you, he loves you. I'm just one of those people he tolerates. He probably doesn't like me. At least, not in the way I do. He doesn't really care about me. I'm as important to him as any other stranger on the street. My life has value, and it's worth just as much as his. I'm just not worth his time, his effort, his feelings. I'm one of a million others he's seen. The only thing that's sets me apart is that he knows my name. Maybe I should be glad, I can tell that to the reporters when he's a famous pokémon master. 'Did I know him? Oh, yeah, ask him! I bet he'll know my name. It might take a second to think of it though, but Ash Ketchum knows my name'."

(Misty, I'm sure you're making this out worse than it really is. He…he does care about you. I think he might care about you so much, he just doesn't know what to do. Girls mature faster than boys, Misty. You grew up fast. He's still…like you say all the time. Ash is just a kid. He doesn't know half of what's going on around him, but he's learning. He's _trying _Misty. He's trying so hard to figure out what's happening to him you wouldn't believe.)

"Has he figured it out yet? It he scared that the freaky redheaded girl who keeps complaining about her bike has a crush on him? Is that what he was talking to you about? Trying to see if you'll zap me away so he won't have to do it himself?"

(No. In fact, I think he's kind of hoping that you do have a crush on him.)

"Why would he want that unless he's got a crush on me?" Misty said, her voice a little too harsh for even her own ears to handle. "Sorry, that came out badly."

(Misty?) Pikachu whispered, forcing the girl to look at her. (I think he cares. I think he likes you as much as you like him. I just think he's young, he's scared, and if his subconscious already knows what's going on, his conscious is just to scared to let him realize it. But he'll figure it out eventually.)

"And when's eventually?" Misty asked, wiping away the last of her tears.

Pikachu answered honestly. (I don't know.) Another sad laugh from Misty. (But, I promise you, when he gets it? He'll get it. Trust me, when you're fifteen or so Ash is going to stop you in the middle of a match-)

"Why a match?" Misty asked.

(He does all his best thinking during pokémon battles," Pikachu grinned. (But he's going to stop what he's doing, call for a time out, walk right over to you and give you the best, sweetest, most incredible kiss you've ever dreamed of. All it's going to take it for it all to fall into place. His brain works slower than most, but it all turns out right in the end, Misty. Promise you that. I've known him longer than you have.)

"By about three days!" Misty rolled her eyes.

(Hey, it's still longer than you have. Besides, I happen to know that a certain Ash Ketchum is absolutely terrified of girls hitting on him, in case you'd like to take advantage of that. When you're older, of course. You can't go around hitting on guys yet. Eleven years old is a little young. How does twelve sound to you?) Pikachu wriggled her eyebrows in a way that matched Ash perfectly, sending Misty into a giggle fit.

As her laughter subsided, she smoothed a hand of Pikachu's head and smiled. "Thanks, Pikachu. You really made me feel better."

(I'm just doing what comes to me naturally,) Pikachu chirped. (Now, get some rest. We have to walk all the way to the center tomorrow.)

"Alright, alright," Misty sighed, pulling herself down into her sleeping bag as Pikachu bounded back over to Ash.

She nuzzled the sleeping boy awake, despite his quiet moans of protest. (You'll get it, won't you Ash? It's going to take you a while, you big idiot, but you'll figure out all this romance stuff sooner or later? You promise me Ash. Promise me you'll figure it out before you die.)

"I promise t'figure ih'ow," Ash slurred sleepily. "I'll get it, I'll get it. Lemme sleep."

(Just…just tell her the truth Ash. Look at her.)

"I'd rather lookit the inside of m'eyelids."

Pikachu growled and slept near Ash's head. (Humph, men.)

**

* * *

**

Misty was not the innocent little girl she acted as, neither was Ash, really. The two of them did have good hearts, sweet faces, winning smiles, but they were also a tad bit manipulative and sneaky. This was proven (whether or not Brock noticed it was happening) nearly every time they got into the pokémon center. They did need a big room, and rooms tended to fill up fast. They looked for someone who got a big room and didn't need it and played tradsies.

All Misty needed was a few minutes at the computer to reschedule. As Brock and Ash distracted Nurse Joy (Brock unintentionally so) the fiery tempered girl would slip behind the counter and swish her fingers across the keyboard. A few simple hacks, a few minutes of a quick trainer look up to see who deserved the room least of all, and the plan was set and fixed. They would leave the money to upgrade to the bigger room in the register (they weren't thieves after all) and the big three bed room would be theirs. No Nurse Joy, no Officer Jenny, not Gym Leader Brock was ever the wiser of their strange luck.

This time was no different.

"Could we get a room with three beds?" Ash asked, pulling out a wad of cash. The boy did need to learn to carry a wallet rather than dig coins out from the bottom of the bag. "We'll even take two beds and a couch if that's all you got left."

Nurse Joy began to type away, her brow coming together with a bit of worry. She did hate these trainers, every one of them a hotshot. They'd come up, too big for their britches and demand how they were the greatest trainer in the room. Their spirit was always nice to see. She loved that flare for battling the young boys always had. She just wasn't so fond of it when that burning testosterone turned its ugly head in her direction. "Mmm," She said worriedly.

"What's wrong?" Ash asked.

"Give me a second, I'm looking. I'm sure I'll be able to find something," She consoled, keeping her eyes to the screen. There really didn't seem to be any openings. A single room, yes, one bed. However, even _she _felt uncomfortable about letting two boys in one room with one bed with one girl. "Uh, you said you wanted three beds? Or, uh, you'd take two as long as there was a couch, right?" She asked hopefully.

"Oh, anything's fine with us. We don't even need the couch. Brock, Misty 'n I will draw straws or something to see who gets the beds and who gets the floor. It's not like we're not used to the ground or anything," Ash grinned.

Nurse Joy practically wanted to leap over the counter and glomp the boy. What an angel! What a saint! How many trainers would be screaming at this point? Of course, the worry wasn't over. Soon she would have to tell him how full she was, and then the boy would create chaos. She hated it when the little boys screamed. "I…I think two of your might have to take the floor tonight. All I've got is singles."

Ash's forehead creased. Nurse Joy waited. Here it came. Here came the screaming, strange, scary angry dance that all boys his age were known to throw as a tantrum. Sometimes she wished they didn't let boys this young become trainers. Yet, something was wrong. This boy didn't seem angry, he appeared to be thinking. He scratched the side of his nose before running a hand through his hair, all the while keeping his eyes straight forward, looking beyond her, and his forehead keeping its wrinkle.

"You're not going to make me be a gentleman, are ya?" He asked finally.

Nurse Joy blinked. What was that question about? "Pardon?"

"A gentleman. You're not going to make me act like a gentleman, are you?" He repeated.

Nurse Joy shook her head. "I'm afraid I don't quite understand what you mean. How is you being a gentleman related to you getting a room here tonight? You don't mean you want to give up the room and sleep outside, do you? We've got room! We've got a few rooms, actually. Of course," She sighed, "to buy three rooms you'll need a lot more money than you have. I don't suppose the gym is open so you could win some spare change now, is it?"

"Nope," Ash grinned. "First thing I checked ma'am. I just meant if you're going to let Misty have the bed just because she's a girl. I really don't want to be the gentleman. I'd rather take my chances with drawing straws or flipping a coin instead of just giving up. I was just asking because I know she'll probably come over here and try and make you give her the bed. She's always pulling that stupid gentleman card on me."

(You lie much to well, young Ketchum,) Pikachu shook her head on Ash's shoulder.

"I know, Pikachu," Ash petted his pokémon fondly, pretending the comment meant something it didn't. "Pikachu hates it when Misty pulls the gentleman card too. She's the only other girl on our team, Pikachu I meant, and she never gets to get the bed because she's just a pokémon. I guess it's okay though. Pikachu seems to prefer the floor or her pokéball anyway, like any other normal pokémon, right?"

(If you attempt to put me in that mewdamned ball I'm going to take a spoon and shove it up your-)

"See how angry she gets? It happens every time. She's crazy," Ash shook his head.

"So…you don't want another room? You'll…you'll take this one. You won't argue me or fight me over it or try to bribe me?" Nurse Joy ask, letting the hope come out in her voice. Maybe all little trainers weren't brats after all! Maybe there was hope for the world! Or…maybe this one was just a little too stupid to be mean. That seemed to happen sometimes. You did have to love the stupid ones, always had a smile on their face.

"Would bribes work?" Ash asked, working a bit of wit into the conversation. "You can take my friend Brock if you want. Brock and all our money!" He beamed and jerked a thumb over his shoulder to where Misty was restraining Brock with one hand and paging through a magazine called "_Waterlogged"_ that seemed to be absolutely full of water pokémon and how to train them. "You can take Misty too, if you like. Just wreck her bike, she'll follow you everywhere."

"Aren't you cute?" Nurse Joy squealed. "I wish there was something I could do for you!"

Ash pretended to shift anxiously. "_Well_…no, I don't want to be a burden or anything."

"Go ahead!" She encouraged. "I don't mind."

"Oh, no," Ash said, getting ready for the next big word.

"Please! I want to help you! It's not often that I get such a sweet little man around here."

Ash felt his face tint. "I don't want to…" Here it came, the weird word he hated. "I don't want to _impose…_"

"It's no trouble at all! Just tell me what you need. If I can help you I'll help you!"

"Could you maybe take a look at my Charizard? He's been acting a little lazy lately and I want to get him fixed."

(You know, if you get him fixed he's not going to liven up. In fact, he's probably going to become even lazier. Not to mention you'll make no money off trying to breed him. Poor thing. Just steal his dignity away too! He didn't really mean to hit you with all those fire attacks…sorta…) Pikachu laughed nervously.

"I'd just love to help you! It's no problem at all. I'm sure your Charizard is just feeling depressed or maybe even confused. Maybe it's evolution affected its mind. Evolution does that sometimes. It's not surprising. The human body barely changes at all during puberty and yet there are still extreme hormonal changes. It's the same in pokémon, except much, much faster. It really is fascinating. You should read up on it sometime."

"I don't really read," Ash laughed lightly. "I'm more of a Nintendo kind of guy. I love the main character in pokémon red. He looks so cool. I wish I could be him."

"Are you coming back with me?" Nurse Joy asked with a smile. "It's right through this way."

"Um, actually, I need to stay with my other friend, Misty." Ash leaned forward to whisper. "She can't really be alone. She can't cook and she has these temper fits. She practically goes insane during them. She could hurt herself and others. Having Brock alone with her with all these pretty girls will just make it worse. I wish I could go with Charizard, but I don't want her to hurt herself. The doctor said she had, what was it? North pole disorder or something. She's all cheerful one second then angry."

"Oh, bipolar disorder," She murmured.

"Yup, North pole disorder," Ash agreed, truthfully not knowing how to say 'bipolar'. "Anyway, Brock will go with you while I take care of Misty. Please don't tell anyone about this. She gets really embarrassed about it. I mean, can you imagine not being able to control your own actions? It's a brain thing, and she really hates doing it but she just can't help it. It gets especially bad when her pills start getting low and she has to cut back to half her usual dose. I'd hate to see her all the way without it." He added a shiver as if to prove it. He _did _know what Misty was like without medication. She was the girl who whacked him over the head everyday with a mallet.

"Brock won't try to serenade me again?"

"Mew, I hope not," Ash blinked. Then laughed. "Er, I didn't mean it that way. I'm sure he'll leave you alone about this stuff from now on, Nurse Joy. He's a good guy, really. His hormones just get in the way sometimes. Once he gets over how pretty you are he's fine."

"Well, that's good. I guess I can-"

"Oi! Brock! Nurse Joy and you are going to go out back to help my Charizard! She's going to try and find out why he's been acting so weird lately, alright?" Ash shouted across the pokémon center. People looked up to glance at the boy, not at all embarrassed by his outburst, as he continued to scream. "I got to talk to Misty and make sure she doesn't get mad and kill anyone while you do that! Is that okay with you?"

Brock was by them in a heartbeat, a little to close for Joy's comfort. "Okay with me? Why, it's the highlight of my life! It's the top of a mountain and the beautiful scenery below! It's the crow's nest of a boat and beauty of new land. It's like a dream I never wish to wake from!"

"It's like a nightmare that never seems to end," Nurse Joy moaned to herself as the teenage boy dragged her towards the back. "Watch the register for me if you would! Make sure nobody steals any money from it, okay?"

"Not a problem Nurse Joy!" Ash shouted, waving at her. He turned to Misty, still flipping through her magazine. "Hello! Misty! Get your nose out of that stupid old book! You've got some work to do! At least I've already done my part! What have you been doing all this time? Picking up tips that you can't use? You should learn your own style of battling pokémon, not what that stupid magazine says!" He snapped as she walked by him, still paging through the magazine.

"You don't know everything you think you do, Ash," Misty grinned, popping over the register. "Sometimes it's good to learn about other strategies so you can build on your own. Any good trainer knows that. But then again, I suppose you're not any good trainer, are ya? You're a very good liar though, I have to give you that. Did you say I was an orphan and I can't stand being alone? That's your usual choice when it comes to sticking around to watch me work."

"Nope, you've got North pole disorder."

"Bipolar disorder."

"What I said," Ash agreed.

"Why are you sticking around here anyway?" Misty asked, beginning to hack her way through the computer system. "I mean, I get once or twice you'd want to see what I do, but it doesn't change, Ash. If you really want, I could teach you how to hack into things. I that what you're trying to do? I don't mind teaching you as long as you promise you're going to actually try and not just go around making a fool of yourself."

"No, that's not it," Ash shook his head. "I wouldn't mind learning though. It seems like a pretty…convenient…" He looked at her face to see if he sounded the word out right. When she nodded, eyes still on the flashing screen, he continued. "It seem like a pretty convenient thing to be able to do. To hack into police reports or private stuff or get a room or see if the government really is up to all the stuff the say they're not."

Misty grinned. "I'm not that good of a hacker, Ash. I barely pull of breaking into local police stations, and even that takes me a while. I could teach you how to get yourself a better room though. You better be willing to pay for it. I don't want you stealing your way to a five star hotel." She bit her lip as a boy with three registered traveling companions showed up. Apparently Ash wasn't the only boy who wouldn't travel alone.

"Why are you doing that?"

"What?"

"That," Ash insisted, pointing at the lip she chewed on. "You never do that unless there's something going on in your head that you don't like. Don't tell me you found out that everyone in this center needs this room more than we do! How many charity cases can you get in one place?" He moaned and shook his head. "It figures we chose the wrong night to try and get a place to sleep. We should've gone to a motel."

"Motels have bugs," Misty argued.

"I have bug types," He shot back.

She shivered. "Mew, don't remind me about that thing. I don't like it, and I don't want to touch it, and I don't care how pretty it gets. A bug is a bug is a bug and I just don't like them. If you try and torture me with that creature tonight I'm going to wake you in the morning with an electric alarm clock, I swear." She shook her head, then grinned a bit. "Oh, good. I got a snotty kid who's not traveling with anyone."

"And why is he okay to steal from?" Ash asked. "Who are you to chose what's right and wrong? You're not Arceus, Misty. You can't chose anyone's fate. Somehow you think that just because you read someone's profile, without even meeting the guy, you can judge their character well enough to know that you're a better person than them. Sure, we know _I'm _better than them, because I'm better than everyone, but you're not, and you shouldn't be able to make that choice. Shame, shame on you, Misty. You and your ways to try and become a goddess in your own right. You'll go to hell for that one."

"He's been caught beating, not just a hit, but _beating _with, get this, rocks and bricks and knives. You know what he's been beating? His own pokémon. He also beat another boy's pokémon because they were rivals. He was mad at him so he snatch his pokéball and almost killed the pour creature. Man, I can understand a whack or two in the head, but how mad do you have to be to pull a knife on something?"

"Pretty mad," Ash deduced.

"Thank you, Sherlock," Misty rolled her eyes. A few more clicks, and a satisfied smile appeared on her face. "Perfect. We are all booked up for one of the nicest rooms in the center and meanwhile Señior Assface gets a room in the basement." She logged out and smiled up at him. "Okay, don't tell Brock I said assface. The last thing I need is for my sisters to try and wash my mouth out with soap again when I walk through the door."

"And it's all done, just like that?"

"Just like that."

"And you didn't steal a room from somebody who deserved it?"

"I hope he wasn't framed. If so, he's having one bad year," Misty chuckled. "Judging by the pictures they took at the crime scene and the lie detector test, I think the chances of that are pretty slim. Hope nobody else is affected by this. It would suck to ruin someone's life just so we could all get a bed, huh? I'd rather sleep on the floor than on a comfortable bed if I know I put some poor innocent guy on the streets."

Ash cocked his head to one side. "You're like Robin Hood, you know that? You steal from the rich and give to the poor. It's pretty cool."

"We're not exactly poor, Ash," Misty grinned. "It's not like I'm risking my life, either. My sisters would pay the bail if any Nurse Joy ever decided to sue me and I'm sure I could stand being grounded for a week." She frowned. "Unless they get really mad and put me into the 'mindless task punishment area'. Nothing to do but sharpen hundreds and hundreds of pencils and finger knit scarves that look like ropes."

At this point, Ash would've made a snide comment. It was his time to say something cruel, something biting, something heart wrenching. Part of him even didn't mind if she cried. It meant he had won. Misty didn't really seem to care all that much about crying, anyway. It took her a few hours to get over her last crying fit, and it would probably take even less for her to get over another one. That obviously wasn't his issue.

Which led him to wonder, what did make him hesitate?

After a while, he settled on 'lying' or, in the big word BSR likes to use, insincerity. He didn't actually mean it. Well, at least, now that he was thinking about it, he wasn't so sure that he did. The mean comments about her not doing something right, maybe it was wrong to lie to her like that, if he was lying. It seemed wrong, especially since no one ever seemed to tell her that she did something right.

So, letting himself be honest, "the look" appeared in his face as he smiled down at her. "Thanks, Mist. You really shouldn't be so…humble? Yeah, that's the one. Humble. You did a good job. I mean, I don't think I'd ever be able to do that that fast. It's so cool how you get it done, and then you make sure nobody gets hurt by what you're doing. You really are like a modern day Robin Hood or something. What would that make me? The fat bear?" He giggled.

And Misty…something had happened to her. Her face was flushed, her eyes looked brighter, and she looked a bit as if she was trembling. "I-I-I guess you'd be the buh-bear or suh-something. Thuh-thanks I guh-guess."

At her stutter, Ash panicked, breaking "the look" and reaching out to lay a hand on her arm. "Mist, you okay? You're shaking all over and you're all pale and flushed at the same time and you stuttered and you _never _stutter and-"

"Don't you _ever_ look at me like that again, you got it?" Misty growled, completely forgetting that this was what she wanted all along. "If you ever look at me like that again I'll…I'll…I don't know what I'll do but let me tell you, it sure as hell won't be anything pleasant, Ash Ketchum!"

"Look at you like what?" Ash blinked.

"You know!" She shouted.

"No I don't! What do you mean? I didn't look at you like anything!"

"Yes you did! You gave me that look!"

"What look?"

"The one you always give your pokémon after you win your stupid match! That really happy, proud one! That's the look you gave me! You know it too!"

"I don't know!"

"How could you not know that look?"

"I don't!" He shouted. Ash blinked, and "the look" reappeared on his face. "But, Mist, I really am proud of you. I mean, I guess no one says it much, but you really do help us out, even if Brock doesn't know it. I'm sure your sisters and the rest of your family is proud of you too. You're still a good battler, even if all you do use is water pokémon. If they don't know how good you are at hacking, I bet they can at least see how good you are at that."

He was slapped again, right in the face.

But, he figured it was worth it. It was always fun to see the infallible Misty Waterflower stutter and stumble and fall over her own words. It was nice to see that maybe the girl he looked at almost as if she _was _a goddess was human, with weaknesses.

And, according to her response to what he thought was just an ordinary look, he was one of those weaknesses.

…His cheek _did_ sort of hurt though…

**

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**

Okay, now I just have to say to some of the people out there…  
I've got two stories running.  
Each chapter, as I force myself to, is at least ten pages, Verdana, 9 point font, web styled, and read over once.  
I update both about every week and a half.  
This means, I'm typing at least _twenty pages _for every week and a half, along with homework, housework and other things.  
I typed eleven pages on my other story's chapter, and _fifteen _this one (Do a little dance). That's twenty six pages.  
Now, don't get me wrong, I love hearing from you, I love your reviews, but I'm a little annoyed by this (for no apparent reason aside from frequency):

**I beg of you. Please, please, please don't write in your review for this chapter "update soon" or I will copy and paste this author's note over and over and over again in your reply and PM you with this as well. I really think I'll spaz or something if someone says that without a joke intended.**

Thank you, and…

**THANKS FOR THE 400 REVIEWS! YOU ALL MELT FACE! I LOVE YOU Y'ALL!**


	43. AM Marriage

Twenty Pages. Now, get down on your knees and worship the ground I walk on. –traps foot impatiently- Fine, don't. See if I care. –acts offended- I'm watching Beowulf, so there.**  
****Suggested by: Kryptonian250 **and **Super Reader  
**Teen rating, my lovelies, teen rating. But I can't do a honeymoon. Sorry, I'm fifteen. Goodness gracious, let me retain some innocence! (I've actually had, like, six people ask me for this kind of stuff. Not to say that I haven't read some of it on fanfiction…(or that, strangely, my mom's given me romance novels))  
Oh, and by the way? Savor this. It's going to be a LONG time before I do anymore marriage stuff.

* * *

  
**AAML, a trace of DAML**

**Engagement  
**"So," Ash asked, sitting beside his girlfriend as the extremely romantic waterfall next to them trickled down to the river below. "I heard from somewhere that you like water. I heard, that next to chocolate and me of course…" Misty snorted. "That water is your absolute favorite thing in the entire world, water pokémon, oceans, rivers, and waterfalls are pretty romantic. It's just a guess, but I thought this would be a pretty romantic place to celebrate our fourth dating anniversary."

"Great idea," She agreed with a smirk. "We're twenty one, my dear Ashton, and you know what that means?" Misty raised the bottle in her hands. "It means tequila. I can know legally drink this fantastic liquid, even though I have been drinking it since I was fourteen. Not getting drunk, of course, just loving the taste. It's a fantastic flavor, Ash. You want a sip?" She tilted the bottle back and took a long swig.

Ash rolled his eyes. "We're nineteen and you're drinking flavored water."

"I like pretending we're grown up," Misty giggled. "I feel grown up with you. We're like a married couple, I guess, but we've always acted like one. Bickering, teasing, flirting, the only thing we were missing was the wild sex and make out sessions. Do you want any of my tequila Ash? It tastes great. It's like lemon flavored water, _but _we both know that it's tequila, I'm twenty one, and I'm starting to get a little tipsy."

Ash made a face. "It's not tequila, Misty. You're so weird," He giggled at that. "Besides, I hate the lemon stuff. It's like watery, crappy lemonade." He sighed and shook his head "You're such a spaz, you know that? What wild sex? I think I would've remembered that."

"Ash, you know I won't do it, not because I don't love you, but because I hate my sisters." She fell back to the lush grass, looking up at the starlit sky. "I can't wear that white wedding dress if I'm not a virgin. I'm the only one who gets to wear it. After all that work making sure they got married after they had wild, naked sex, do you think I'd just give it up like that? I can wait a little while longer to get married."

Ash pause, thinking for a moment about the thing in Pikachu's hands. "Do you really need to say 'naked' when it comes to sex?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, most people make love naked."

"I guess I'm just ensuring you that my sisters are like most people and do it naked."

"Well, I needed to know that."

"You did," She giggled, tugging the back of his shirt to make him fall back with her. "So, my wonderful, loveable boyfriend, why? You're being all romantic tonight. You're always romantic but…it feels different tonight. You seem nervous. I hope you're not breaking up with me or anything. I'll have you know that if you do break up with me, you better be planning on giving me hundreds upon hundreds of wonderful presents to make losing you easier."

"How many presents do you need to replace me?" Ash grinned teasingly. "Just so I know if I have it in my budget to finally get rid of that redheaded tomboy tagalong that's been following me around for the past nine years." He sighed. "Tagalongs, man, what I wouldn't do right now for a box of those. Those or thin mints. Girl Scout cookies have to be the best kind of cookies in the whole wide world."

"Ash," Misty murmured. "Tell me what you did all this for."

"Do I have to have a reason to be romantic?"

"I can tell the difference between a romantic moment and something important."

"This spot is that obvious?" He sighed. "I was hoping to surprise you."

"I don't know what's happening, I just know something's happening. It's you. You're just so…I don't know. You're twitchy or something. I don't know. You're just…" She sighed again. "I guess when you know people after so long you can tell when they're up to something. So tell me what you're up to. I think I'm tipsy enough with my tequila to accept anything you're going to tell me. You can't afford to break up with me though. It's too pricey."

"I'm not breaking up with you," Ash sighed.

"Well, that's a relief," Misty grinned.

"I'm asking you to do something much more scary. Hey, Pikapal, want to come over here?" Ash grinned, rolling onto his stomach as his favorite pokémon bounded over. She dropped the small case in his hands, blue velvet, then sat in the grass to see the events that would unfold. "Thanks buddy. I don't suppose you're going to leave me alone?" He asked hopefully. Pikachu shook her head. "Of course not. Make this more awkward."

Misty's breath was catching in her throat. "Ash…Ash, is that a promise ring? Arceus, Ash, you've already gotten me a million promise rings. Can't you try something new? What else do we have to promise? Why do you want Pikachu to leave."

"You're starting to hyperventilate, Misty, breathe," Ash soothed, touching a hand to her shoulder.

"What's in that box, Ketchum?" She said, a bit snappishly, shifting uncomfortably in her spot. She sat up with shifty eyes. "I'd rather it be a promise ring than what I…Ash, we're nineteen, Ash!" Her voice leaped up and cracked. "Oh, Mew, Ash! If anyone knew what you were planning on doing, they'd kill you for it don't you think?"

"Misty," He said softly. Ash got on one knee, fingering the box in his hand. "You knew it was going to happen all night, Mist. You could always read me, I guess you always will. I think that's why I'm doing this, because I always want you to be there to read me. I know you're scared, I am too. But there's no one else I'd rather be with. After all this time, I should be sick of you, but I really think that I fall in love with you more and more each day." He opened the box and took out the ring. "It's not the biggest ring in the world, and it's definitely not a bike, but it's the best ring I could buy with my salary."

"Marry me?" Ash asked hopefully.

Misty closed her eyes, shaking. "We're so young and…Ash, what will your mom say?"

"She'll wish us good luck."

"And everyone else?"

"We'll tell them later."

"We're only nineteen!"

"I thought you were twenty one."

"I can't get married! I've got so much to live for! There's so much to do!"

Ash smiled. "Well, I'm still planning on traveling, you know. Misty, just tell me. Do you love me?"

"I do."

"Do you ever want to leave me?"

She shook her head tearfully. "I don't."

"Then will you marry me?"

She eyed him carefully, sighing. "When we're older. Not now. When everyone's ready to handle it. I guess I'll just consider this another promise ring." She took it form him. "I just can't show anyone what you bought me. I guess I'll have to start planning our wedding now. Twenty five seems like a good age to get married. If I haven't done everything I wanted by then…well, I guess I probably never will."

"I can accept that."

"Ho-oh, we're a weird couple."

Ash chuckled. "I got myself a wild stallion, tamed and ready for riding."

"That better not mean what I think it means."

"Sorry. It slipped." He grinned slyly. "Soon-to-be Mrs. Ketchum."

"I'm still not taking your name."

"Dammit."

Marriage

May, much like a romance movie involving many wedding dresses, always liked to look at the groom when the bride walked in.

Unfortunately, this was near impossible to do as everyone gasped at the bride coming in.

Misty's face, doused in make up, could clearly be seen blushing even under the artificial color. Her eyes flickered down to the floor as she made her appearance. There was nothing wrong with her dress, at least. The white wedding dress of her grandmother's. It was a plain dress, nothing complicated, a practically ageless style that complimented her personality. Her shoes? Unfortunately, one or two people managed to see the sneakers she was wearing under her dress when she walked.

The real kicker seemed to be her hair. It was not done in the grand style of most brides. There was no hairspray, no hair extensions, no highlights to be found. In fact, it wasn't even hung in a simple, beautiful style behind her or held up with any kind of sparkling hair clips. It was pulled to her right hand side with a blue rubber band, the exact same way she wore it practically every day of her young life.

Her sisters practically screamed when they saw her. To her surprise, it was more laughter than horror.

"Ohmigod, like, little sister," Violet giggled. "Only, like, you would come dressed like this on your wedding day. Like, I'm so glad this all is going on national TV since Ash is, like, totally a candidate to becoming the next pokémon master!"

"Quiet," Misty snapped, still red.

Ash grinned at her, beckoning down her towards him. "Aw, Misty, come on. I think the romantic atmosphere was ruined when Pikachu and the others started a little war. We already got married, just do this one for the cameras and haul ass down the hall!"

"Ash, why'd we have to have another one for the cameras? Wasn't the first one good enough for you? We've got the freaking rings on our fingers, can't we just flash those to the press?" Misty called, running down to her guffawing husband anyway.

"You know the answer as well as I do: Because I'm famous," He chuckled.

The priest rolled his eyes. "Okay, can we please start this wedding now?"

"One day and we're already renewing our vows," Misty giggled, shaking her head in wonder. "I can't believe we're got Pikachu and Togekiss as our Best Man and Maid of Honor. I can't believe I can be this unromantic. This is all your fault. I used to kill people for doing things like this. I used to kill _you _for ruining all these romantic moments between us and look where I am now?"

Ash gave her a quick peck on the lips.

"Ahem, I don't think I've said the magic words yet," The priest coughed, gathering the two lover's attention off one another. "Should you really be kissing yet?"

"Not anymore than I should be wearing this dress."

"You look stunning," Ash smiled, taking Misty's hand in his. It was the night before, and their private wedding, filled with only their closest family and friends, and the two of them were looking their best. "Really, you're beautiful. It's just us. Twenty five. You promised we could do this when you turned twenty five. It's time to cash in on the stupid promise you made. It's not my fault you chose an idiot to be your husband."

"Ash, it's not that," Misty blushed. "It's just…I honestly didn't think that when I said when I turn twenty five that we'd be getting on my birthday!"

"One less date for me to remember," He whispered back, clutching her hand. It was slick and wet with sweat. "I know I'm not really, you know, a romantic, but…" He breathed in and out. "I don't know what I did to deserve you, and I don't know why you're not running away from me, but I really love you. I want every day to be with you, and I know we'll have our rough spots but it's the good times that make it all worth doing."

"That's beautiful, Ash," She grinned. "You romantic. You don't have to worry. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here besides you. Whether you're in bed with me or sleeping on the couch because you're a horrible person, I promise I'll stay here."

"Aren't you sweet?" He grinned, bumping her playfully.

"Just as sweet as you are."

The priest smiled lightly at their blushing faces. It was nice to get the young ones married. Poor fools were so happy, not realizing exactly how torturous a union would be. "You're both very sweet children. Now, are you two going to keep those words as your vows or would you like me to say the traditional ones?"

"Erm, yours'll be fine," Ash grinned sheepishly as their closest friends and families giggled. "I guess you better get used to us, because we'll be back with you tomorrow. You're going to love the cameras. You don't mind marrying us twice, do you?"

"No."

"How much extra does it cost?"

"Oh, Arceus, Ash…"

The priest cleared his throat, opened the old, red bible that lay in his hands and began, "Dearly beloved, we gather here today…"

Pregnancy

She closed her eyes, breathing deeply with her hands folded across her bare chest. Some of the breaths came out as whimpers, others came out as frightened whispers. She wasn't worried too much about waking her husband. He was down and out for the night, snoring loudly. She couldn't wake him up if she tried. He was always like this in the mornings after they…well, let their relationship be intimate.

It wasn't the first time they'd been together, no. It'd been a few weeks after that. They'd been married for at least a month.

She wasn't showing the symptoms yet, she hadn't gone off her period and yet…

_She knew._

She knew what was happening to her. She knew she was pregnant. Somewhere deep inside her she just knew without a doubt that she had _someone _inside her. Motherly instinct, she supposed. It had to be something along those lines. There was no other way she could be positive there was a little kicking baby inside her without taking a pregnancy test. And, Arceus, how she should've been taking a pregnancy test everyday!

She wasn't exactly surprised. They hadn't used any kind of protection. They'd either get pregnant or they wouldn't. They weren't trying to have a little monster running around, but they weren't going out of their way to make sure it didn't happen. Maybe she should've pretended to want a baby. Maybe he would've gotten stressed out enough that this wouldn't have happened. Stress was a major factor in reproduction, supposedly.

Oh, who was she kidding! Ash would take it all in stride. Little bastard would probably be jumping with joy that she wanted one as bad as he did. If anything, it probably would reduce stress, worry, and any of the other crap. Huh, she should've killed him in his sleep when she still had the chance. She still had a chance now. Kill Ash…throw herself down the stairs to kill the baby…get her tubes tied…run down to Mexico…

Well, she shouldn't just assume. Why delay the inevitable?

She rolled out of bed, looking down with a sad sigh. A few months and her cute red nail polish on her toes would be out of sight thanks to a huge baby growing in her uterus. Ugh, why did women even have those things? Why couldn't they reproduce asexually? Her husband rolled over in his sleep and he muttered something about 'Misty' and 'whipped cream' and 'really, you'll do anything I want you to tonight?'

She blew her bangs out of her face. Oh, now she remembered. It was because half the population was male, and they didn't have to go through childbirth and they always had fun during sex meanwhile the women was thinking about the fact they needed a new apartment and the electricity bill and what the _hell _did this boy think he was doing when he thought it was okay to hit her during intercourse? Too much stand up comedy about it. She had to wean him off Comedy Central or something…

After she'd broken the pregnancy test out of the box, 'read' the instructions (skimming, if you could even calling it that, more like glancing at it as she tossed it into the trash) took the test and waited for the results, naked in the Ketchum's home bathroom. Mrs. Ketchum was on vacation this week, but, damn, did they ever need a new freaking apartment. She guessed that'd be their next goal in life. Somewhere to live and raise a family with the little thing inside her stomach. That seemed awfully important. She read the readout.

It said smiley face.

Misty made a frowny face.

"Dammit," She wrinkled her nose. "You know, a smiley face is not something a lot of women want to see on their pregnancy test. In fact, it's an absolutely horrible thing to do to some people. It could be really ironic. A woman would be hoping and wishing that she didn't get pregnant. Maybe she was a rape victim or something and she takes out her pregnancy test and what does she see? She's pregnant. Not only was she raped, she had to raise a kid. That's a horrible thing to do to people."

"What's a horrible thing to do to people, Misty?" Ash asked drowsily, sitting up and rubbing the back of his neck. He blinked a few times, trying to wake himself up. "What do you have in your hands, baby? It looks weird. What is it, a tongue depressor or something?"

She rolled her eyes. "I told you not to call me that."

"Why not?"

"Because it sounds _weird _coming out of your mouth," She retorted.

He sauntered out of the bed and by her side, completely naked and grinning a bit. "A pregnancy test? Ooh, you never take those. What, you think you're pregnant? Lemme see. Are we having a baby? _Please _say yes."

She grinned. "Well, Ash…" He groaned and shook his head sadly, already assuming the answer was no. "What are you groaning for? I guess I was wrong when I married you. After all those times we go unprotected, after all those I want to be a father speeches and now you're all sad because I've finally got a bun in the oven." Ash jerked his head back up, grinning with delight, but his eyes still looking questioning. "Yes."

"You mean…?"

Misty grinned, biting her lip for a second before throwing her arms around him with giggles. "Yes! We're going to have a baby!" She nuzzled into his neck with a happy sigh. "We're going to have a little baby. It's just like having a puppy except a baby can scream louder and a puppy usually knows where to go after a few noses in the rug. We're having a little baby. I've got something living inside of me."

"You're happy about that?" Ash laughed.

"I've always loved the idea of having a baby growing inside of me," Misty sighed. "I'm just not so keen on how it's getting out of me. What do you say? Straight to the cutting board? I get a cool looking scar and it'll hurt a hell of a lot less that giving birth."

Ash began kissing her neck with a grin, whispering in between in word, "baby, baby, baby, baby, baby…" His hands slid down to her lower stomach and his smile grew. "Baby. Right there. I helped make that. You couldn't have done that without me."

Misty grinned and pulled away from his gentle touch. "Well, actually, I _could've _done it without you. You'll be happy to know I didn't, however. This baby is one hundred percent totally yours. At least, it should be. Someone could be having sex with me while I sleep. It _might _be that one guy I had an affair with. Maybe that vasectomy didn't take after all," She teased, pretending to look thoughtful. "He was pretty good, better than you. Maybe that's because he knocked me up?"

"Oh, ha ha, Mist, you're a laugh riot."

"I am," She giggled. "I'm absolutely hil_aaaa_rious, dahling."

"Well," Ash said after a moment. "I think we should celebrate. It seems only right. I mean, having a baby is one of the most important things in a person's life. It's a wonderful, beautiful experience and we should relish every minute of it. I know I will. I'll be here through all your mood swings and pains and your constant complaints of getting fat and your horrible ugliness. I promise, no matter what, I'll still have sex with you even if I have to wear a blindfold or close my eyes."

"Aw, well, with that declaration of love, how could I say know to a celebration?" Misty rolled her eyes again. "Alright, so where do you want to go? Don't tell me we're going to get burgers to celebrate, because that's a horrible way to celebrate."

"That's more of a feel better meal," Ash corrected. "Remember, like when I didn't get the Master title? We had burgers then. I was thinking of something completely different. Something to celebrate the joy of life in the world. Do you want me to tell you exactly how you should dress?"

"Sure."

"Ever heard of a reenactment?"

"Yup."

"I think we should have one of those. A reenactment of the night we conceived," Ash grinned. "Go put on something sexy. We shall celebrate!" He threw his arms up proudly, only laughing when she put on an obviously displeased face.

"I hate lingerie."

"It's not for you. It's for me to look at you."

"But it's uncomfortable."

"Well, you're not going to be in it very long."

"Men…"

Apartment Shopping

"What the hell are we doing this for?" Drew asked, rolling his head over to May inside the car. "We don't even live together. I've got a place to live. You've got a place to live. We don't need anywhere else to move into. Why the hell am I here?"

"Because they're our friends and we love them and care for them and all that junk," May replied. "Ugh, they could've left the conditioner on. I'm sweating in this car. We're going to overheat and die. How does a car get this hot? It's not nearly this hot outside!" She moaned and let her head hit the back of the seat. "Drew, just hotwire the car and drive us out of here. I've finally decided to side with you. It's too hot."

"It's called the greenhouse effect," Drew explained.

"It's called it's _hot _as _hell_," May argued.

Ash and Misty strode back to the car, opening and closing the doors as they strode inside, Ash on the driver's side. Misty looked rather displeased, whereas Ash looked frantic and began to run the motor the best he could. A bit of sweat was beginning to form on his brow, and Misty continued to mutter crossly under her breath beside him. Apparently, things had gone wrong, yet again, on their quest to get an apartment.

"Misty, you're a fucktard!" Ash snapped, narrowing his eyes as the old car's engine stalled. "We need to buy a new car after this. Ugh, fuck. Misty! How could you just…what were you thinking? Can't you control your temper? Don't you have some kind of impulse control in you? This is the fifth apartment today you can't find good enough, and I can't believe you just shot your mouth off on some poor guy! There's no such thing as a perfect apartment. You have take something. Why won't you just take a good neighborhood?"

"Don't call me a fucktard, Ash," She snapped. "And I want more than just a good neighborhood. It's somewhere to start our lives, where our child is going to be living for the first few years of his or her life before we finally get a real house to live in! Why don't _you _set your standards higher?"

"Because I'm sick of looking at houses!"

"Well, how else do you expect to get a mewdamned place to live if you don't look at apartments! We're _shopping _Ash, and it's something _important_! We need to look around to make sure we get the best deal available. You know that and you're being stubborn and you should stop yelling at your lovely pregnant wife!"

"It's not about the shopping! It's about what you said to the guy!"

"I didn't say anything to the guy!"

"You called him a fucktard when he told you how much the apartment costs! You can't just go around calling everyone who tries to sell us stuff idiots the second they say a price that's too high for you! I'm an idiot, and even I know that! You're getting us thrown out of house after house! Someone's going to shoot us! Especially with the neighborhood we're in now, someone's going to pop a cap in our asses. And I swear this one had a gun on him!"

"Huh, I thought he was just happy to see me," Misty joked.

"Misty!"

"Aw, come on, Ash. I'm just teasing," She smiled. "I'm sure it wasn't a gun and we'll find an apartment. Next time I'll try my best not to yell at the guy. I did pretty well with the girl from before. I didn't start cursing until we got inside the car."

"And what a lovely string of curse words it was," Drew piped up. "Which, now that I've gotten a chance to speak, can you drop us off at my apartment? I don't see any reason why we have to be here. I think you two know what you're doing. May dragged me along and even she's sick of this so…what do you say."

"Huh, your apartment," Misty mused.

"You're not…you're not thinking what I think you're thinking," Drew said nervously.

"Nice school district."

"Wait, what?" May blinked, finally catching on. "No, no! You can't…"

"Nice neighborhood, nice people, nice building," Misty grinned.

"It's a horrible place to live! There's crack addicts and child molesters everywhere!" Drew shouted. "You don't want to live anywhere around us! It sucks! Stay away from our place. It's an ugly place to live. I'm trying to warn you, keep you safe, keep your children safe! Don't do it! Think of your offspring."

"The rooms are wonderful, I see them all the time," Ash agreed.

"They're ugly. I'm just a really good decorator," Drew explained.

"There is one negative thing. I've heard that there are actually quite a few engaged couples in room 304 with very thin walls and very loud voices."

The engaged couple in the back flushed a bright red, Drew speaking up once more. "Oh, _Mew,_ no. Don't go there! That's disgusting! Both of you! Completely perverted! Just drop us off at that mewdamned apartment before I kill myself! Mew! You're both sick!"

"Well, that's go drop them off and see if they've got anything for rent."

Drew and May moaned in the back seat. "Reconsider? Please? Remember when you were engaged and in love and that whole romantic thing was still there? Remember when you whispered sweet nothings into each other's ear and went on romantic evenings out and held hands and went on moonlit walks and serenaded each other and kissed and all that stuff?"

"Remember how embarrassing it was when your mom tried to teach you how to use a condom? Do you really want that for us?"

"Oh, it's not about you," Ash grinned. "It's all about our children and getting them the best place to grow up. Even if the walls _are _paper thin and Misty and I happen to be very good at sexual jokes."

"…Fucktards…"

Promotion

Misty quietly turned the dial to 'low heat' on the stove, one hand sitting on her swollen stomach with the slightest bit of a smile. How long until the baby came? Still a while now. At least the morning sickness had gone. Here came the high of pregnancy, a few months of feeling incredible, untouchable, able to take anything the world threw at her and toss it back even harder. You had to love it, really, the undeniable strength and power in her veins. Maybe this was how being a pokémon felt.

As if about to answer her question, Pikachu leaped up onto the counter, weary of the fire, and nuzzled into her. Pikachu's small nose nuzzled into her hand, insistent on pulling her away from the flames to a better place, probably a safer place. Pikachu, as many pokémon did after having their egg, was nesting insanely, and Misty sitting down in a way Pikachu liked was one of the things the electric rodent imply _needed _to have in order to make her nest (the apartment) perfect.

"I'm sitting, I'm sitting. Don't worry about it, it's only a few seconds. The water's almost boiling. I'll be right there, you crazy rat." Misty soothed, running her hand along Pikachu's back and scratching around her ears. "We'll sit down after I get my tea and I'll talk to you, how about that? We'll each take care of our babies and watch Court TV." She smiled down into Pikachu's face, wondering exactly what her reaction would be.

The lightning bolt tail flicked one or twice, one ear rose and another pinned against her head, and then she nipped Misty's finger (enough to draw blood) and ran off to her darling egg. Pikachu had long given up speaking, like most pokémon during this special time. She seemed to revert to her most primal nature, frantic and needing to protect her litter over all else. She had also gotten quite nippy lately, especially when Ash tried to take the egg in for a check up with Nurse Joy. That was a feat that required rubber gloves, even with the best friendship a human and a pokémon could ever have.

Misty took the hot water off the burner, a quick flick of the wrist switching the fire off, then poured a hot cup of her favorite tea into her favorite mug (the one with a tentacruel on it) half filed with sugar, honey, and a little bit of cocoa. The kettle went back to the cold burner and a spoon tilted into the mug with slow stirs. "Smells good, doesn't it Pikachu? Are you sure you don't want me to make you a cup?"

The electric rodent, ears still flicking as wildly as her tail, leapt onto the couch, where Misty was supposed to be sitting, and bounced up and down furiously on the cushion. Misty couldn't help but be reminded how much she absolutely loathed that cushion. Though nothing but a low, primal growl emerged from her throat, the message was clear. _'No, I don't want any of your mewdamned tea! Put your butt down on the sofa before I have to electrocute you there!'_

Misty grinned, shaking her head, and strolled back to the couch, watching Pikachu skid out of the way as she sat. The remote, situated beside her (as she knew well enough by now it was a lot harder to get up then it was to fall down), was picked up to flick through the channels, searching for something other than "The Price is Right" or "Judge Joe Brown".. Sometimes being pregnant was worse than being sick.

Then, the little rodent was back on her stomach, licking it through the cotton pregnancy shirt. "The baby kicks when you do that, sweetheart," Misty chuckled, feeling the little thing squirm with delight inside her. "I think she likes you. It looks like we've got another Pikachu trainer on our hands. What do you think, you're baby and mine teaming up and traveling around the world? Electrocuting bad guys and fishing their traveling companions out of lakes? History does tend to repeat itself, you know."

(Baby,) Pikachu spoke thoughtfully, a single word out of her normally silent throat. She nuzzled into Misty's pregnant belly before jumping behind the couch, where her nest was. (Baby,) The word came again, this time she was nuzzling her own egg. She bounced back up to Misty and smiled. (Together!)

"Attagirl," Misty grinned, giving her a good rub down. "Now you're getting it. Are you going to start talking to us again, or are you going to be silent until that little Pichu finally crawls out of its egg? I love talking to you, and it's really depressing when we're here together all day and you can't even talk to me about it."

Pikachu's head tilted to the side as she looked up, confused. Apparently, she wasn't completely back to normal, long sentences were still baffling her, but she smiled and prodded Misty's stomach with her nose once more. (Babies together,) She insisted. The electric mouse then leaped back behind the couch, probably intending to stay there until dinner time.

Honestly, it wasn't like Pikachu eggs _needed _to be incubated. That was the only thing that fed up Ash so much. He hadn't been able to use his favorite pokémon in ages, and he had plenty of battles coming up now that he was applying again for Pokémon Master. Last time he came in second, and sometimes Misty felt that it would be better to come in last than to lose to only one person.

"_Hush, little baby, don't say a word. Momma's gonna buy you a rocking bird. And if that rocking bird don't sing, Momma's gonna buy you a diamond ring…_" Misty crooned to the little thing in her stomach. It was good to sing a lullaby every once in a while. Supposedly, music affected the baby through intelligence and probably a little bit of personality too.

If that was true, this baby was going to be bipolar. Half the time Misty was singing lullabies and the other half she was blaring the heavy metal.

Then, the door blasted open. A spark of electricity hit Misty with a painful twinge and her eyes narrowed. Did this boy _ever _learn? She'd gotten a full on thundershock because he stormed into the apartment once. At least the baby was fine. In fact, the baby was better than fine. The electricity had stimulated some kind of brain cell growing hormone or something like that, something the doctors had been worried about. She swore she was going to through Pikachu at his ugly little head.

"Misty! Something incredible happened! Where are ya?"

"I can tell buy the way you stormed in," Misty rolled her eyes. "I'm in the living room! I can't get to you."

"Why not?"

"I'm sitting down!" She shouted irritably. "And because of you, I got electrocuted by the damned rat again! Are you trying to kill me, Mr. Pokémon Master?"

"Heh heh, right," The young man sweatdropped, his face appearing. "We've got a big fricken apartment, you know that?" He sat beside her. "But, I don't suppose you'd mind getting ourselves a bigger one? Maybe even a house if you'd like. I'm sure we can splurge."

"We can't splurge, r-tard," Misty snorted. "We're on something called 'a budget'. Since I'm the one who handles the money in this family, I'm going to let you know that, uh, _no _we do not have enough cash to buy ourselves a beautiful country home. This apartment is the best we're going to have for some time until I'm no longer fat enough to avid work. What was your big news?"

"That we can buy a country home."

"We can't buy a country home."

"We _could _if I was…"

Misty snorted again. "Yeah, if you were a Pokémon Master." Her eyes lit up. "Holy crap, can I really refer to you as Mr. Pokémon Master?" She squealed. "As in, they finally voted on your performance and even without Pikachu you still managed to get the title and the huge ass oh-so-wonderful, we're-rich, holy-fricken-moly-we're-rollin'-in-the-dough salary raise?"

Ash grinned. "Well, that's one way to put it. Yes, we got that great stuff. I'm a Pokémon Master, Mist! After all these years! Everyone said I couldn't do it but I did! I can't believe it! I actually got the freaking title! It's a miracle Misty! I swear, I don't know what we're going to do with all that extra cash!"

"Oh, Mew, Ash, I knew you could do it!" She flung her arms around him. "I'm so happy for you, for us! We're going to get everything so much better. I'm so happy you got this, Ash. Everything's going our way. It's amazing Ash. I'm just so…I'm so happy for you!"

"It's going to be a lot of traveling."

"As long as you come back to me," Misty laughed, "What's to worry about?"

First REAL Fight

Obviously, there was plenty to worry about. It only made sense, since they hadn't had an earth shattering fight since they had been engaged. There high point of pregnancy wearing off, down to the final stretching where all the crappy feelings came back once more. Anger, cravings, insecurities, morning sickness, tired, cranky, everything that could possibly go wrong, was going wrong. What's worse? Well, Ash wasn't exactly there to make her feel better.

He walked in, late one night, a slight hint of alcohol on his breath. Misty tried to keep it all inside, honestly she did. She didn't want to go off on him. She tried to convince herself that it was just in her mind, that it was all in her head and she was just being stupid and overreacting and dear Mew she just needed to calm herself down because of pregnancy hormones and Ash never did anything wrong.

"Where the fuck do you go?" She shouted, fist clenching and unclenching at her sides. "What do you do? Why do you do it? It can't all be your job! It can't! No job means you come home smelling like mewdamned liquor! What do you do? Do you get wasted every night, too scared to come home and face me? Do you go to another woman? Got sick and tired of tending to your fat cow at home? What the hell are you doing that you're never _here_!"

Ash looked up through his alcohol fuddled mind, trying to make sense. "Misty," He slurred, "I dunno what you're talking about. I love _you_ and there…there was a business drinking, er, a business meeting and there was booze and I guess it was stronger than I thought it was…"

"So you're drunk then?" Misty asked with narrowed eyes. "Completely drunk. Wonderful. I always love it when my husband comes home smelling like liquor! What wife doesn't? Can't fight back, can you? You've got no idea what the fuck is going on around here, but you know what? I don't have any damn idea either! I want to know where you're going! Why you're leaving! You can't always be going on business trips. You can't possible be gone more than you're here."

"I wanna stay, Misty, I do. I wanna sty with you because I love you and you're beautiful and you're wonderful and I…I ask them to lemme go but they don't do it. They never do it. I can't stay because they won't let me off from the jobs. Misty, oh, really Misty I swear it's just you. I've always loved you. I'm just…ugh, the room's spinning. Please stop yelling Mist. My head hurts so bad and I feel so bad…"

She rolled her eyes. "Of course, you're fucking drunk."

"I wasn't trying to get drunk, I swear…"

"You swear a lot of things," She growled.

"And I always mean it!"

"How am I supposed to know?" Misty shivered. "How am I supposed to know when every time I turned to you, you're doused in alcohol? I never find out what's wrong with you. Why are you doing this? Whether it's a business meeting or you just need to go out for a night, you're always coming home like this. Why do you do it? Are you trying to get away from? Is someone pressuring you? Ash, you're starting to worry a lot of people and…and I think you might need to go sober for a while. Maybe you could…maybe you could join a place to help you out. I mean, go to an alcoholic meeting or two…"

"I'm _not _a drunk!" Ash exclaimed.

Misty gave a bitter laugh. "Then what do you call it?"

"It's just a drink now and then!"

"Then you should be fine going without it."

"No, I _need_ it!" Ash shouted, panting.

"You need it?" Misty inquired. "That certainly sounds like alcoholism to me."

"No I…I don't need it. I just…the job's stressful, Misty. It's just something to take the edge off. It's not like I've got a problem or anything."

"Ash, you're drinking every night. It's okay to have a problem. I…I understand that you've got something wrong going on in your life, but we've been through stuff like this. I know this is a lot harder, because this is fighting yourself, but I can help you. Your friends and family can help you. You can do it if you try, Ash. We can get you help. It's going to be okay. You'll just go without a few drinks for a while."

"I don't need to! I don't have a fucking problem!" He snapped.

And then he slapped her.

Misty's hand slowly came up to her face, disbelieving, horrified. He'd been drunk plenty of times. He'd tried to pressure her into sex while drunk plenty, and he'd yelled at her and called her names, but never, _ever _had he laid a single hand on her until now. And, judging by the horrified look that had alighted in his drunken, glazed eyes, he knew it too.

"Misty…I…I…oh, fuck I…" And his voice cracked, the hot tears spilling to his face and he fell to his hands and knees, the sound of his body hitting the floor echoing throughout the almost empty apartment, soon followed by deep, wracking sobs.

She went to the floor with him, pulling him into her chest and resting her head on his, humming a soft lullaby under her breath. "It's going to be okay, Ash, alright? Everyone's got problems, baby. We'll get through yours. We can do it, okay, honey? We'll get through this. It's…it's all going to be alright, Ash. We've still got your job and the baby's okay. It could be worse. I could be the one with the problem."

"I'm so, so sorry, Misty," He sniffled. "I'm so sorry. Mew…I never…holy crap, Misty, I'm so sorry. I'll never, ever touch you again. I'll never touch another drink again, either. I'm not going to drink ever again. I'll never hurt you, Misty. Oh, fuck, I'm so sorry."

There was an awkward silence. "Misty?"

"Yes, Ash?" She whispered.

"I think I need help."

"I know, Ash. I know."

Moving

"Pikachu?" Ash beckoned. "Come on, sweetheart. Get out from under the bed. We're going to our new house. Nobody is going to touch your baby. I still love you, you pretty thing. It's going to be a while before that baby hatches so let's just get out of here and go to our pretty new house. The only thing we haven't moved is the sofa and you so let's get this show on the road."

"She is going to _kill you._"

"Shut up, Drew!" Ash snapped over his shoulder, glaring at the three 'friends' sitting on the floor a few feet away from him. "Why don't you help me out here instead of laughing at me, huh? You guys didn't even want us moving in here in the first place and now that we want to leave you're not helping."

"Well, what's your wife's excuse?" Drew retorted, looking at Misty.

"Uh, gee, I don't know," Misty rolled her eyes, while leaning on the wall. "Maybe it's the fact the if I even move an inch, I'm going to fall flat on my face and not be able to get up. May, I think I'm starting to tip. Uh, yeah, I'm definitely starting to fall to the right…"

May yelped and grabbed Misty's left arm, hauling her back up into a sitting position. "Wow, Misty, how many babies do you have in there? You're a pregnant beast! How much do way now, three hundred pounds! Man!" May fell to her back, panting. "You're heavy, woah."

"Shut up," Misty snapped. She blushed. "Well, multiple births are common in my family. We usually come by the twos and threes. My grandma was a quintuplet. They looked, though. There's only one in here. Just one. There better be just one or I'll be pissed." She glared down at her stomach.

"Please, Misty, There's just one," Ash rolled his eyes. "Now, can we get the fricken Pikachu out from under the bed so I can get out of this stupid apartment! She won't move! My hand is covered in scratches and bites and I've been shocked so man freaking times it's really not even funny anymore and no one wants to help me move my hormonal rat from under the sofa."

"Hey, what's that noise?" Drew asked.

"Pikachu's growling."

"It _growls?_" He gasped.

"Ever since we got that egg out of her. She doesn't talk, just growls. Go help my husband. He's cranky. Withdrawal can do that to a guy," Misty sighed. "May, I'm starting to tip again. To the left this time. I think I'm going to squish you."

"No!" She yelped, pushing Misty upright again. "Can't you balance yourself? Man! You're just so intent on squishing me, aren't you? What did I ever do to you?"

"And it's not withdrawal, it's the fact that there's an evil electric rodent under my bed who wants to freaking electrocute me! I don't like being electrocuted, in fact, it kind sucks. You know what would be fantastic? If someone could help me get her out!" He shouted, pounding his fist down. Pikachu jerked away from him with an evil lower growl. "Sorry, girl, that wasn't to you."

"Where's your rubber gloves?"

"She can control her electricity, you know. She doesn't try to shock through the gloves because she's not stupid. She sends her spark arching over my hands and straight to my chest. It hurts like hell. I ought to ask Team Rocket if they've got any of those shock proof glass containers for me to use. Maybe then I won't get turned extra crispy." He sighed and clucked to his Pikachu once again. She merely continued to growl and huddled protectively over her little egg.

"I don't think she wants to come out," May remarked.

"No shit, Sherlock!" Ash growled.

"You _are _awfully testy today, huh?" Misty giggled. "I'd love to help you, Ash, but, as you can see, I'm kind of caught up at the moment with staying balanced. Maybe you'll get lucky and Pikachu will randomly decide to come to you. She's been having quite a few moments of being her old self. She's just scared, Ash. You're destroying her nest. Why would she want to leave?"

Ash sighed. "I know, but the next place really is better."

"And how's she supposed to know that?" Misty retorted. "She barely understands what we're saying to her anymore. Poor baby, maybe if you're nice to her she'll crawl out. May's nice. Maybe she can bribe Pikachu come out. Go ahead, May, give it a shot."

"I'm not trying it," May snorted. "Ring, ring, ring," She said, covering her mouth. "Oh! Wow! Er, uh, I think that's my brand new phone ringing! What a weird sound, huh? Come on, Drew. I think it's something important. Let's get out of here. Good luck with your electric rats!" She grabbed his hand and the two raced out the door, giggling.

"Yeah, well, we heard what you did last night, you perverts!" Ash retorted. "Damn. Pikachu, _please _come out. We're going to take you somewhere nice. It's a beautiful place. There's lots of grass and trees and I'll give you anything you want to make a nest."

Pikachu eyed him wearily. She remembered him. She didn't want him to touch her baby. She didn't want him to ruin her nest. That's what he appeared to want to do. He wanted to ruin her nest and take her egg. Even if it was all for the better. Ash could be wrong. This was still her baby, and Ash could not touch her. (My baby. Don't touch…get away! She bared her teeth at him.

"Misty, she's not coming out."

"Well, what do you expect?"

"She loves me."

"She loves the baby more."

Suddenly, a surprised remark from Pikachu, (Baby!) She leapt out from under the couch and licked Ash's hand before racing back under. (Baby, Ash, baby. Come here. Baby!) She exclaimed excitedly. She raced out again, twitching once more with excitement. This time she nudged Misty before running back to the sofa and hiding under it once more, starting to giggle.

"Pikachu, what are you doing?" Ash blinked, dropping down to his stomach to look under the couch. He giggled excitedly. "Misty! The egg's hatching! I can see the crack in it! Aw, I think I saw its nose. Isn't that cute? Misty! You should see this."

Misty glared at him, her voice deadpan in the corner. "You're right, Ash. I should. Give me a second for me to crawl over there." She shifted her weight forward, attempting to crawl forward on hands and knees to see the baby. She looked awfully strange, but she made it alright. "Can't you help me out here? Your pregnant wife is having problems _moving!_"

"Aw, and Pikachu's helping it out. Aw, it's out of the egg now. I guess you missed it. Pikachu, will you come out now? Can we see the baby?" Ash asked sweetly.

(Of course, Pikapi!) Pikachu squealed, pulling out the pink blanket in her teeth and dragging the new baby out from under the couch. (Isn't he cute? Where are we going now? I think I'm better now that the baby is here.) She licked her little Pichu on the head.

"Oh," Misty blinked.

"What?"

"Uh, Ash, either I just lost bladder control of my water just broke."

(Baby!)

Labor

"Get him out of here!" Misty screamed, narrowing her eyes at the one who dared call himself her husband. "Good for nothing bastard. I don't want him in here. Nobody even _likes _you! Everything you have you got out of pity! I only married you because I knew you couldn't live on your own! I'm getting paid to be with you by Team Rocket! You hear me? Nobody loves you! This isn't your child! I had an affair with Brock! And you know how we started it? We talked about how much we hated you! Ask him! He won't lie anymore! It's time you learned the truth about your so-called friends, Ashton!"

"Well," The doctor remarked thoughtfully, grinning at the clearly frightened Ash. "This has to be the most interesting pregnancy rant I've ever heard. And the little missy can scream like this even with the epidural still flowing strong within her. Well, sweetheart, how does it feel to be going into your twenty third hour of labor? I think I'm starting to see the head down here."

"Fuck you!"

"Very lively," The doctor confirmed. "I take it this is your first baby? Cute little things. I never get tired of bringing in new life to this world. I hate hearing these rants though. Misty here sure can scream. I think they can hear you all over the hospital sweetheart. Maybe you ought to quiet down, you're scaring the children who are about to get their tonsils removed."

"I'll scream as loud as I fucking want! Have you ever given birth doctor? I don't' think you have! You have no idea how much pain I am in right now! Mewdamned babies! I'm going to kick you where the sun won't shine, maybe then you'll know what kind of pain I'm in!"

"You want some more ice cubes, Misty?"

"I want a fucking joint! Yeah, of mari-fucking-juana!" Misty screamed. She tossed her head back in an animalistic moan. "Get it _out _of me!"

"Are you sure you don't want ice cubes?"

"I want Coca Cola," She whimpered.

"You can't have anything to drink or eat. Just ice cubes."

"Who the hell came up with that rule?"

"A bunch of doctors after watching women like you throw up," The doctor interjected. "It'll make you nauseous. Come on, sweetheart, you want to give a few more pushes for me and get that little bugger out? By the way, what is it, boy or girl?"

"Go to hell and rot!"

"So what's that, a hermaphrodite?" He chuckled.

"We didn't want to know," Ash explained. "Well, not exactly. At the time, money was tight. So we went to this ultrasound place that barely knew what they were talking about. All they could tell us was whether or not the baby was healthy. We didn't change because, er, Misty got used to the place and didn't want to change. She got really stubborn at the end. Not that she wasn't always stubborn."

"Ashton!" Misty growled.

"What?" He grinned, taking her hand. "Sorry."

"Don't touch me! You're never touching me again! You're a good for nothing-" Her words broke off into a banshee scream, clutching down on his hand so hard he thought it might break. When it finally subsided, she panted again, a bit of a whimper joining in. "Ashton, would you mind getting me a few ice cubes, please? Wait, no, don't leave. Shout for Brock to get some ice cubes."

"A second ago you were begging me to get out of here."

"But now I don't want you to go. It _hurts _Ash! What if I shoved a watermelon up your ass then made you push it out, huh? It hurts!" She bought his hand up to her face and kissed it gently. "Don't go away, please Ash? Even if I start screaming at you again?"

"Misty, you've been doing this on and off for the past day," Ash grinned. "Don' worry sweetheart, I'm not going anywhere. It's going to take more than a fiery temper to get rid of me. Come on, let's push that little bugger out of you. Twenty bucks says it's a boy."

"I'm not going to bet on the gender of our child, Ash," Misty scolded. "Just…Brock! Could you bring in another bucket of ice cubes? I could really use some right now! Can I please have some delirium inducing drug too? Anything's better than this reality."

"We can't give you anymore drugs, Mist, we'll kill the baby. I'd rather have a living child, not a stillborn, alright? You can get through the pain, can't you?" Ash smiled. "Let's push again, okay? The more we try the faster we get this over with. Ready doctor?" The man nodded. "Ready to push, Misty?"

"No," She muttered, but sat up anyway. "And what's this 'let's' you're talking about! It's all me!"

There was another bout of pushing, sweat dripping, screaming and wet eyes, before the doctor spoke up about something along the lines of 'keep pushing' and 'I can see the head'. More screams, more pushing, more crying, and finally a new scream of a little baby girl with a little scruff of red hair and green eyes. Her little arms and legs flailed, and nothing appeared to be wrong.

"You did it, Misty," Ash grinned. "See, it wasn't so bad. You want to have another one?"

"No, I'm done."

"Not quite," The doctor blinked. "I think they missed something."

"Excuse me?" Misty growled. "You better not be saying what I think you're saying."

"Well, twins are common in your family, no?" The doctor grinned. "I guess you just got an extra kiddo. No big deal. Smile, you're about to be a mother again. What do you think, identical or fraternal twins? I'd say identical judging by your sisters."

"Oh, _no_," She groaned.

The next thing that came out of her was a boy with black hair and blue eyes. And, it turns out, after that was an identical twin of the first baby, red haired and green eyed again. Ash and Misty we're the proud parents of triplets, and Misty couldn't understand why.

She _had _used birth control after all, even when they stopped using condoms.

And then, it all made sense when Ash spoke up and said he'd switched her birth control with fertility pills.

The rest of the group prayed the babies would see their father in something other than a casket.

First Anniversary

"Brock, are you sure you can take care of all the kids?" Misty asked. "I know there's, uh, there's a lot of kids and if you can't handle it I'm sure we could stay in for tonight. I mean, triplets. They're two months old. Should we really be leaving them? What if they imprint on you and think that you're their mother?"

"Then all the more time we'll have alone." Ash chuckled, pulling her away from the door. "Come on, I've got some awesome junk planned for us tonight, honey. Let's go! I put a lot of work into being romantic tonight, don't ruin it for me, huh?"

"But…Ash, our children. They're only two months old and-"

"You haven't left the house in two months."

"Because they _need _me."

"They're two months old. They just need nourishment. You, however, need to leave the house," Ash encouraged. "We just walk out the door and leave the children. It'll be okay. It's our first anniversary, Misty. We've been together for a year. Let's not ruin the moment, okay?"

"I know," Misty nodded. "Alright. We can go. It'll be fine. There's nothing wrong with leaving. Brock has, like, fifty brothers and sisters. He can handle it! I don't know what I'm thinking! We'll see you in a bit, Brock. You'll be fine. You took care of us, didn't ya?" She laughed and let Ash tow her out the door.

…Only to burst right back in a few seconds later.

"How can I leave them? My babies," She crooned. She ran right up to Brock and snatched one of the twins from his arms, clutching the little one close to her chest. "Hey, sweetie. Little Charlie. I can't believe we named you Charlotte. I'm such an insensitive bitch but that was my grandmother's name and she did great things in my family so we had to name you Charlotte. Charlie's a cute nickname though."

"Misty," Ash chuckled. "I take it we're not going on our special trip?"

"No!" Misty yelped. "We can go! We can…er, where can we go that we can take the babies?" She blushed, keeping her eyes down on the bundle in her arms.

"We can't take the babies anywhere, Mist," He sighed. He wrapped his arms around her waist and put his chin on the top of her head. "You know what Brock, we'll pay you anyway. I don't think we're going to be going anywhere for a while. I think Misty's still a little to into the band-new-baby phase to let the little ones go for the night. How much was it going to be for three hours?"

"You don't have to pay me, Ash-"

"Ash!" Misty moaned. "Please! I can…I can let them go for one night. I'll be fine. Really. Let's just walk back out. I can let go of Charlie and Stephen and Ashley and…" She whimpered. "I want to let them go, Ash. I'm so sorry. I can do it! If I try hard enough I can leave my babies." Another sad sigh.

"It's fine, Misty," Ash smiled. "You sure we don't owe you anything Brock? It's a long drive. I want to pay you something for your trouble."

"Knowing you named one of your kids Ashley is more than enough," Brock grinned. "If only she had come out with blonde hair. It would've been perfect. You two have a good night. I'll have fun calling all our friends and telling them that Misty's gone soft."

"They're my _babies_!" Misty snapped as the door shut behind him. She looked up at Ash meekly. "I know you put a lot of thought into tonight and I…I ducked out on you at the last minute. I'm sorry, Ash. I ruined everything for you. I always do whenever you try to do something for us."

"It's fine," He chuckled. "I'm here with you. That's what an anniversary is supposed to be, isn't it? It's just something to remember the day we got married."

"But you worked so hard and-" She was silence by a soft kiss on her lips, a delicate hand drift from her ear to her chin to her collarbone. When he pulled away, she gave a quiet but happy sigh and leaned into him, mindful of the baby she still carried in her arms.

"I don't give a damn about romance. I give a damn about you. You're a beautiful, wonderful mother, and I'm happy to be married to you no matter where we are. Whether we're in here or out there, as long as you're happy on this anniversary, I'm happy."

"It's my birthday," She stated.

"Mmm-hmm."

"I'm one more year older than you. I love it when you call me beautiful. You're the only one who does that when I'm not all dressed up," She smiled up at him. "Why do you do that?"

"You're beautiful because I love you, so I tell you," Ash grinned, moving the hair out of his wife's face. "Am I being romantic? This is all I can manage to pull off tonight, so I'm hoping I still come off as a great husband. If all else fails I'll take the baby from you and you can have a quiet night down here."

"Aw, how sweet."

"Or, since they're still little and have no idea what's going on, we can go upstairs and have wild sex."

Misty groaned.

"Wrong answer? Damn. I thought I was doing real good too!"

Christmas Morning

"Christmas time!" Charlie giggled. She leapt onto her sister's bed. "Ash! Wake up, you stupid! It's Christmas time so move your butt, get out of bed and do a happy dance or something! We've gotta go downstairs before Stephen does and get our toys."

"Why do we gotta beat Stephen?"

"Because he's a _boy_, y'retard! We have to prove girls are better than boys."

"You're not supposed to say retard."

"Y'gonna tell anybody? Cuz I'll kick your ass if ya do."

"You're not supposed to say ass either," Ashley grumbled, rolling out of bed anyway.

The two had long sense ruined their twin image. Ashley loved her hair long, Charlie loved it short. Ashley loved makeup. Charlie loved dirt. Ashley loved skirts. Charlie, well, Charlie would run around naked if she really had the chance, but she stuck to pants and t-shirts anyway. They bickered so often that they only wished that looking at their sister wasn't like looking in the mirror. Sibling rivalry was a powerful thing, even strengthened by learning from their darling parents.

The two tumbled down the stairs after one another, giggling happily, until coming onto the most horrifying of horrifying scenes. There was their brother (little brother to one, older brother to another), sitting amongst the presents. Their color coded presents. Pink paper for Ashley, red paper for Charlie, and blue paper for Stephen. But, there was no pink, no red, no blue. No presents under the tea.

"Where are our presents, Stephen?" Charlie growled, putting her little six year old fists up. "I'll kick your ass, y'little monster. You better give us back those presents! I'll slit y'throat! I'll slaughter ya! You just wait! I'll do things that you can't even think of y'little monster!"

"I'm older than you," Stephen smirked.

"Aw, shut up! Just because you're older don't mean nothing! I can still kick your ass! You're a weakling! Little boy! Come here and play with me! I'll get you to talk about those presents. Just you wait! You come over here, you present stealer!"

"Charlie," Came the scolding voice behind her. "What have I told you about saying those words and threatening your brother?"

"Ladies don't start fight, but they sure can finish them?"

"Charlie!"

"But _mooooooooommmmm!_" She whined. "You have to admit, he did start it. He hid all the presents and…and how'd he even get up so early! I always wake up first! I'm always up earlier than that little dork! Nobody likes Stephen, because he's like a girl in a boy body."

"Shut up," Stephen snapped. "I'm not a girl! I just like drawing and making crafts and cooking and stuff. I'm artistic. Maybe if you did something with your hands instead of balling them up into fists you wouldn't be such a mean, stupid, tomboy!"

"I'm not stupid!"

"That's not what the D in math told me on your report card!"

"Daddy! Lookit what he said to me!"

"Well," Ash shrugged. "You _aren't _really that talented with numbers, kiddo. In fact, you're like your father when it comes to school stuff. I'm sorry, sweetie, but when it comes to brains, you really lucked out on that one. You're a strong little vixen, though."

"Ash, she's your daughter," Misty moaned.

"She deserves to know the truth."

"You're telling your daughter she's stupid!"

"But it's true!" Ash retorted. "Have you seen the girl's report card? Have you _spoken _to our daughter? It's a miracle she can feed and dress herself! She's about seven IQ points above retarded and you know it." Ash knelt by his daughter. "Sweetheart, tell Daddy. What's two times seven?" Her face scrunched up. "Okay, let's make this a little easier because we don't have all day for you to answer. What's two _plus _seven?"

"Twenty seven?" Charlie asked with a touch of hope.

"…No, sweetie. I'm sorry, no," Ash shook his head. "But you've got the power of twenty men in your pint sized body. You're the fastest runner I've ever seen and you've got an incredible knack for video games. I'm sure you'll be a great trainer one day."

"I'll be a kick ass trainer," She agreed.

"Don't say ass."

"Where are we going for Christmas, Dad?" Stephen asked, hands looped through jean belt loops. "We heading over to Tracey's? I could use another sketching lesson from him. I wouldn't mind a cooking lesson from Tracey though. Even a coordinating lecture from Drew would be pretty cool."

"Actually, kids, we're going to Professor Oak's."

"How come?" Ashley asked. "Why are we heading over there? We never visit him during Christmas. We only go there during St. Patrick's Day."

"Well, I _could _say that there's an extra special present that only a pokémon researcher like Professor Oak could give you is over there, but I wouldn't want to ruin a surprise Christmas gift, now would I?" Ash grinned, loving the delighted look on his children's faces as they ran from the room, planning on running all the way to the Professor's Lab to pick up their presents.

Ash slung his arm around Misty's waist pulling her close. "Merry Christmas, my queen."

"Merry Christmas, King of the Stupid," She rolled her eyes at him, laughing lightly. "Did you get your queen a good present? I hope it's something shiny that rhymes with new diamond wedding sing." She leaned into him. "Well, that or a good bin of chocolate."

"You mean box of chocolate?"

"I said what I meant."

"You know what I want for Christmas? It starts with an f, end with a k, and it means a whole lot of excitement."

"You're sick."

"Hey, I was thinking firetruck. What were you thinking of?"

"Haven't changed a bit," Misty sighed, as he ran out ahead of her.

In good spirit, she grinned. Suddenly feeling like it was just her and Ash, alone like the few days they had been at the very start of his journey. She was eleven, he was ten. There was a small electric rodent riding on his shoulder, one that wasn't older and could fire electric bolts that no creature could match, and there was a small egg like creature in her arms that often waved its arms in a metronome attack.

"Wait up, Ash Ketchum!" She shouted, shaking her fist. "You still owe me a bike!"


	44. DM Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

I groan as the foggy haze around us just seems to thicken with each and every step we take into the dark forest

**Disclaimer: She turns the dials excitedly. With a click, the box in front of her unlocks and she opens it excitedly. The small text reads: Bittersweet Romanticide does not own Pokémon, Peter Pan, or the songs "Good Morning Baltimore", "Free as the Wind Blows", "Liar (Takes One to Know One)" which is a fantastic song she recommends to any reviewers who like alternative music.  
She glares at the paper and throws it in the fire. First, because it was a major disappointment, and second because she has just noticed the story is written in present tense…  
**BTW, not as long as it might look. There's a lot of snappy dialogue in here. I love writing Drew! I don't mind writing May, but honestly, who doesn't love writing a god-complex-ed male counterpart of their favorite character?  
**Idea Suggested By:** Yoshi's kun  
**DAML**

I groan as the foggy haze around us just seems to thicken with each and every step we take into the dark forest. I wave it, but I can't see my hand in front of my face, let alone where the hell my favorite contest-reject has disappeared to. Again. Where in heck is that girl? A second ago she had been going on and on about girl things that I really didn't care about. I mean, I really didn't care this time. In fact, I cared so little, I wanted to kill myself rather than listen to her talk for one more second. It was torturous. Unfortunately, I didn't (and still don't) have any way to do this, so I just hope I might trip over a rock and crack my head open, break my head, some kind of happy death like that. Maybe she'll stop talking then. Somehow I doubt she will. She never stops.

I'm just irritated because I can't see her. Just hear her. I have no idea where Max ran off too. He never talks to me and now he is probably dead in a well or something and it is really a horrible day to be me.

"Drew, are you listening?" May accuses.

I guess she has her hands on her hips now, glaring through the fog and somehow managing to see me even though I can't see her. Maybe she will throw something at me and I can pretend to be unconscious. Then again, she isn't all that violent. She would never hit me. "I'm trying not to." I say coolly.

"Very funny," She says highly. I am really rooting for a rock to come out of nowhere and trip me. I can't commit suicide, no, that's the coward's way out. I just really want to die right now. "…But I've asked you the same question a million zillion times already!"

"And that question is?"

"Where are we?" She shouts. I think I see a waving arm. Maybe it will hit me. Oh. No, it didn't. She stopped waving them. I didn't even feel the wind. How disappointing. "I almost fainted early because I thought Mac went missing! Thank goodness I was able to find him in this fog, right?"

Don't tell May, but Max is actually attempting to leave her. I mean, he's trying to get away from her, but she's convinced he's just getting lost. He tries so hard; it's almost sad to watch him get dragged back every time to his 'loving sister's' arms. If the boy doesn't get away soon, I think he will snap like dry twigs. He looks at me so desperately every time another escape plan fails. You can't blame him. I would want to get my first pokémon by now too. I swear, next time he makes a break for it that kid is just going to run. He's going to run like Forest Gump until he gets away from everyone but a Pokémon lab and his new starter. Poor kid…

"_Free…free as the wind blows. Free as the grass grows…_" Speaking of the little guy, there he is now. That would be him. Singing that lovely little song. It's heart wrenching, but do you see what I mean by snapped? Everyone cross your fingers and hope his next escape plan works. Why? Well, what happens when a psycho snaps? They kill others and themselves. I need to get him out of here.

"Why are you singing, Max?" May asks obliviously. "Drew, I think Max is tired or something. I can't tell what time it is through this fog. It's so thick! Do you even know what time it is? It feels like we've been walking all day! There has to be a center or something around here! When do you think we'll run into one? Doesn't 'Jenny' or whatever the heck her name is tell you that?"

She means my electronic map. Her name is Jen, not Jenny, and she's one of the greatest people ever. She shouldn't talk that way about Jen. But Jen is sleeping right now. By sleeping, I mean her batteries are dead. No, I wasn't just going to _tell _May that our map had broken. She'll kill me. Maybe she'll cry. I think that one's worse, because I'm still okay with the idea of being dead right now. Crying usually means ruined shirts and awkward situations, neither one I'm very fond of. I don't have a watch and my cell phone doesn't get service out here. It's like a cheesey B rated horror movie, but worse because I'm not getting paid to act in it. Horrifying, isn't it?

So, I do what any respectable person does in a situation like this. I lie. "I think there's a place to stay up ahead. We can just walk for a little bit and I'm sure we'll be right there. You and I can check in while Max tries to run away." I laugh. I cross my fingers hopefully. Will she? Oh, thank Ho-Oh, she laughs too. Mac may be able to get away this time. I guess I'll cross my fingers for him. I hope he gets everything he wants in life…and I hope he gives me the cheat codes for Haylow45.

"Run…away…?" Max repeats slowly. He gives a loud, obnoxious obviously fake laugh. "Why would I ever do that? I love it here. I never want to leave. Who wants a starter pokémon anyway? I love it here. And I love you, May."

…Way to be subtle, Max. We're all proud of the little spaz. I tried to help him, but if he keeps acting like this there's nothing I can do. He's going to be completely and totally screwed if he doesn't get his act together. I mean, short of knocking May out and locking her in a closest, I don't think I can go much further to save him.

"Could you either go away entirely or get a little closer?" I snap irritably. Maybe I can distract her from Max's weirdness. That little guy is more trouble than he's worth. Even it he does have some of the best cheat codes that even the websites don't seem to know about and he can reprogram any video game to make your character be a Snorlax. "I can't see anything and I don't want you to show up out of nowhere and scare the crap out of me," I narrowed my eyes. "Again."

"Sorry about that other time. I swear, I didn't do it on purpose and I don't know where all that face makeup came from," May blushes, finally coming up beside me with Max's hand laced with hers. "So, are you going to pull out that cool map you have or are we just going to keep wandering? We could use Jenny right now."

"_Jen_," I am accenting the name in hopes that she will finally figure out Jen's true name, "has already told me where to go. I talked to her earlier. We're heading in the right direction. Just straight on 'til morning!" I lie, then I laugh at my own cheesey joke. She buys my story, but has a confused face as if she didn't get my joke. Apparently, she has never seen Peter Pan before. She hasn't seen a lot of movies, actually. I've been slipping movie lines on her all week. Maybe there are a few upsides to liking an oblivious girl.

_Liiiaaarrrr…_

I blink. "Did…May, did you just call me a liar?"

"No, why would I do that?" May asked.

_Liiiaaarrrr, if we're keeping score, we're all choir boys at best…_"Are you positive you're not calling me a liar?" I ask. I'm starting to panic now. This couldn't possibly be a…conscience?

"Not a word from me," She shrugs.

_Intrusive and arrogant…_

"May, have you ever heard of a band called "Taking Back Sunday" or their song "Liar (It Takes One to Know One)?" I moan, suddenly realizing that May is not that voice I had been hearing and that May, in fact, is unable to hear it at all. The voice is just as high pitched and just as annoying, but it isn't exactly 'out loud'. This means psychic which probably means pokémon which probably means legendary which means that all the fun in my life is going to be sucked away by some stupid legend that I'm going to have to kill people over. And this is a new shirt too…

_Why, hello new best friend. _Myyyyyy _name is Mesprit and I'm the being of emotions! Woo!_ The cheery voice is driven into my head like a mallet and chisel. It was as bad as a nail on a blackboard, and you can't cover your ears when it is inside your head. _The ugly thing is the being of knowledge. We are very displeased with your many lies. Not only that, we're very bored. Since we're bored and, well, you're here so we're going to screw with you. _It laughed nervously. _Er, I meant teach you a lesson. You'll learn to be honest and kind and an all around good person! Doesn't that sound like fun?_

"May, do you hear anything?" I asked the oblivious girl. She shrugged and shook her head no. "I guess I'm going crazy or something. I could almost swear I'm hearing voices in my head, but what are the odds of that?"

_Oh, you're just doing that to spite me you jerk. You know, I'm the being of emotion! I can make you cry if I really want to! I can make you kiss that little boy. I _pwn _you. If you don't listen now and tell her the truth, I'll do something bad. You'll hate me forever but I won't care because _I am above mortals! _Ha. Beat that, be-atch._

"May, about that electronic map?"

"Yeah?"

"I can't believe it survived being dropped in the river. It's practically indestructible. I love that thing. It showed us where the town was. By the way, have I ever mentioned that I'm into incest, I'm seven feet tall, the sky I orange, and my name isn't actually Drew, it's Jesús Garcia." Okay, so I might be going a little overboard on the lying thing, I admit it, but how could I help it? If someone tells you not to do something you just _have _to do it! Like the doors marked 'Do Not Enter'. Everyone wants to enter them, but you can't. Because they're usually locked. I know. I've tried.

_Okay, you know what? Now I'm mad. One more lie out of you and consider you life a play thing. I'll screw with your emotions and my friend will mess with your thoughts. Oh, she looks like she's sleeping, but she's not. If she opens her eyes, your mind will get wiped! That's why they're always closed! You can't touch me either. You know what'll happen? Three days after you touch me you'll loose all emotion. Yeah, sucks, doesn't it?_ (A/N: All this is true and it comes from wikipedia)

At this point I decide to let it go. It is always better to play it safe and not invoke the wrath of a Legendary (if it is a Legendary and not some weird psychic thing) than to have a few minutes of fun and end up making out with Max. Poor kid barely had his sanity left. I didn't want to scar him. I was curious as to what he was thinking about though…

**Max's POV  
**_The opposite of b plus or minus the square root of b squared minus four a-c all over two a. A square plus B squared equals C squared. PEMDAS. Charmander, Charmeleon, Charizard. An eevee can evolve into…hey, the fog's getting thicker and no one can see me. Bet I can get away. What do you think Bobby?  
(Run for it Mac! Taste the sweet freedom!)  
My name's Max, not Mac, but I'll take your advice, Bobby. Tell Shelly not to talk to me for a while, I'm still mad at her for breaking up with me…  
_**Drew's POV**

Maybe I don't want to know.

"May, is it just me or is the fog getting thicker?" I ask cautiously. It does seem to be swirling ominously thicker and thicker around us. I hear footsteps, running away. They're small. I think their Max's. I wouldn't be too surprised. He finally took his chance to runaway. "Get closer, I can't see you."

"Why do you want me to get close? Is it because you _like _me?"

"No. It's because I can't freaking see you and if I lose you your dad is going to _kill _me. Ash, Brock, everyone is going to kill me if you die and I rather like living." I mentally add 'as long as you're not talking'. Better safe than sorry.

"Do you _love _me?"

"You are getting really annoying."

"Am I annoying because you _love _me?"

"Would you _shut up_?"

"Do you want me to shut up because you _love _me?"

"No! In fact, I hate you! I hate you with a burning passion, you got that? Would you stop freaking talking! Arceus!" I snap. Then, I realize with utter horror what I've done. Lied again. Because I don't actually hate her with a burning passion. I like her. Motherfudge.

_Ha! You lied!_ Mespirit declares with joy. _Now, revenge shall be extracted upon you. What will I do? The little boy ran so I can't make you do anything with him. You like that girl. I don't know if I want to screw with the girl though, she seems nice and not a total jerk off like you, you know? Why should I screw her life up just because you're a horrible lying man? No, I don't think I'll do that to her. Nyeh, then again, I do like screwing with people. How about I play the sticky game?_

_Well, _I think slowly, _that just sounds inappropriate, don't you think?_

_Only a little. _I can feel it shrug in my head. It feels weird. _But, that's not what I mean. See, the sticky game is something us legendaries play all the time. _(Ah, so it is a legendary) _We use our powers to stick people together. You can either be touching or a few feet away or even a mile away but you always have to keep that distance or get closer, you get it? It's like magnets, sort of, except their magical. So, I guess what I'll do is I'll take you and her and magnetize your hands together. Here's the catch. You not only have to tell that girl that you have a crush on her, but you have to get her to fall for you. When you get a kiss, a kiss that she _willingly _gives you, the spell will release. Now, Prince Charming, that doesn't mean that while she's sleeping and thinks you're someone else, if she's hypnotized or if you tackle her to the pavement and kiss her you get to let go of her hand. She has to willingly kiss your lips of her own free will. Once that happens, you're free to go. Now, thank me for being so kind to you._

_Thank you? What the fuck? You just put a curse on me! How does that invoke a 'thank you'? No! I'm not thanking you for smiting me!_

_Hey, I told you how to break the M-F-ing curse! Most people don't get that! Most people just get a curse and have to figure out how to make it better on their own. You should be kissing my feet for being so kind and letting you know what's happening._

_Do you even have feet?_

_I don't know, but that's not important. What's important is: We're going to be watching you like cable TV. You're our entertainment for a while, so try to keep the curse going for a while, alright? We could use some fun._

_I hate you so very, very much. You are never getting _anything _from me. Not one little gift on your statues, nothing. I hope you're happy._

_In a way…I sorta am. I like messing up people's days. It really makes my life worth living. I did teach you humans pain and sadness and all that kind of stuff, so I guess it comes naturally. But, on a way brighter side, I also taught you guys joy and happiness and all those other fluffy emotions you've got bubbling up inside you! See, I'm not all bad! I'm the reason you can hate me! Okay, that part came out wrong but you know what I mean! _There was an awkward pause._ Remember, willing kiss! _Then I am brought down to earth by the girl I am stuck traveling with.

"Drew, why are you holding my hand?"

"Because, May, we're being screwed with."

"…Alrighty then…can you let go?"

"Can you?"

"Er…no. That's weird."

"I lied too much and now a legendary has invoked its wrath upon us."

"Drew!" A high pitched scream tears at my ear.

It's going to be a _loooooooong _curse.

**((((((((((PAGE BREAK))))))))))**

"Hey, look, there really was a pokémon center down the road!" I say cheerfully. And so it was that Drew was one helluva lucky bastard. There is one thing. We're going to get bombarded with people telling us what a cute couple we make. May's going to blush. If she faints, I'm getting pulled down with her, and that really sucks.

"You lied about this?"

"I lied about _a lot_," I say with a bit of a laugh. She doesn't seem as amused.

"What else did you lie about?"

"Max ran away because you were smothering him," I shrug. "I was trying to cover for the crazy kid. I wasn't being sarcastic when I said he could try and run away. He's going to be a fluffer nutter soon. He wanted a pokémon. I'm sorry May, but your brother is not missing in the woods and we can't send a search party after him. You're going to have to tell your parents your little brother ran away."

"How am I going to break this to my parents?" She asks, crestfallen.

"They'll live. It's not like he's dead. He just went to a lab," I shrug again. Apparently, she doesn't like this answer and she glares at me. This is where I realize that my people skills are lacking. Huh. Weird. "Sorry. You can lie. Just say that you took him to the lab and he's getting his starter."

"Lying is what got us into this mess!" She shouts.

"Lying didn't make Max run away, your oppression did," I explain. "But lying is what makes the world work. Without lies society would fall to shreds and organized religion would be no more. Besides, it's not a total lie. It's just a little lie. You're saying you escorted him when he actually ran like the houndooms of hell were chasing him. I'm sure he's fine. Nothing could catch a kid that fast."

"Do you have a soul?" She snaps, yanking my arm (which is sadly attached to hers) nearly out of its socket. "This isn't about Max, anyway. It's about me! I'm the one who's going to get in trouble for ditching my little brother! He's going to get congratulated."

"Self centered," I comment.

"Go. Kill. Yourself," She growls. "I'll cut off your arm to get away from you."

"I'd be intimidated," I began, but there really is no way to finish that sentence. She's just not intimidating. There's no way to describe it. Her anger seems…I don't know, it's cute, like in a little kid way. She's not scary.

"I don't handle pressure well."

"I can see that."

"I hope you die alone."

"You still have to tell your parents." I glance at her, then think of her comment of cutting off my arm. So I place my wrist in my mouth and start to bite down. I'm not sure how strong my jaws are, but I think I'll be able to bite through bone. One can only hope. I think Max's craziness wore off a bit. That, and my therapist says that my lone wolf personality is actually not healthy and beginning to affect my mental state.

"Are you attempting to gnaw your wrist off?"

"Saving you the trouble."

"That's gross."

"And it's starting to hurt."

"Do you think that'll work?"

"Pokémon do it, why can't I?"

"Because you don't have the jaw power of a Fraligator," May rolls her eyes.

I spit out the wrist in defeat, rub it on _her _shirt, and let our arms drop and swing with our steps. "Touché."

**((((((((((PAGE BREAK))))))))))**

Nothing much happened that day. Nothing at all. Now we're in bed, and I'm pretending to be asleep. I know I'm not asleep, and I'm pretty sure she knows too. Normally, I don't snore and normally, I don't knee her repeatedly in the back then growling in an unearthly voice "the spirits of Satin command you to get out!"

"Will you shut up?"

"…zzzZZZzzzZZZzzz…"

"I know you're awake, Drew. I'm not sleeping on the floor, so stop trying to get me out of the freaking bed!" May growls. She kicks me. "Why don't the powers of Satin command you to get out? I hate you so much, you don't even _know._"

"Lying is what got us into this mess, May. You shouldn't lie," I mock coolly. "So, Maple, we're alone…in a bed…in a motel…there are condoms…some rope…spray cheese…" I say slowly, getting a little closer with a smirk. She shivers and tries to back away. "What do you say we…wrestle that rat in the corner?"

"Oh, Arceus! You pervert!" She snaps, trying to cross her arms but failing because I control one. I bet she's blushing. "There's no rat in the corner!"

"Yes there is."

"No there's not!"

I tug her out of bed and pull her to the corner where, indeed, there is a rat and a slew of babies nursing off the mother rat. I think it's a cute scene of parental and offspring bonding. She apparently doesn't. She screams so loud the people next door (who were being awfully loud themselves a few minutes ago, if you know what I mean) yell at her to shut up and that green haired boy she's with can't be that good.

She faints, and I'm ashamed to admit that the first words out of my mouth were, jokingly, "Hey, date rape."

**((((((((((PAGE BREAK))))))))))**

"_Good morning sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I-_sweet Lugia! That hurts like a mother-oh! Stop doing that you good for nothing bit-Mew! I got it! No swearing. Dear mother…" I moan as I'm repeatedly jabbed in the gut by a rough elbow. May wants to sleep. Too bad I wake early. Too bad I like annoying people. "Wake up."

"I'm sleeping," She mumbles.

"I noticed. However, you're wide awake now. All that's left is for you to stand up and walk out of the room! Now, get up, my lover, there's plenty of people to do and things to see!" I demand cheerfully, pinching her arm roughly.

"Don't you mean 'people to see and things to do'?" She asks. Her eyes open, then immediately close as the white sunlight streaks through the windows. I wonder if she can see a couple across the street, looking like they're being quite noisy. That would explain why she gave a little gasp.

"No, I meant what I said. I'm a pervert, remember?" I grin. "What do you want to do now? Hey, I know what we can do, you could kiss me because I'm madly in love with you. You know, just a peck. You're a kind and generous person. Please, May? I bet our hands will come unstuck if you do! Let's give it a try!"

"You're just upset because no girl has kissed you in a month."

"That's not true."

"You're desperate."

"More lies!"

"You need a woman."

"Alright, I do, but that's besides the point. I still love you. My need to kiss you is just…increased exponentially because I haven't gotten any make out lovin' in a while. But, see, that doesn't mean I don't love you. I love you May. Please kiss me and break the spell. I'll become a handsome prince!"

"You're green like a frog," She responds coolly. "Maybe you're right. But I don't care. I'm not kissing you, and that's final."

Silence, but for a slightly wet noise.

"Are you gnawing your wrist again?"

"Maybe we should buy something to cut my hand off. Better yet, _your _hand off."

"We're not cutting my hand off."

"If you stop eating for a few weeks it would be a lot easier to slice through…"

"No."

"But you're kind of chubby anyway!"

"No."

**((((((((((PAGE BREAK))))))))))**

"_Good morning Baltimore! Every day's like an-_Sweet mother!" I am cut off once more by pain, this time where the sun don't shine. Out of the goodness of my heart, I decide to let May sleep in a little longer.

**((((((((((PAGE BREAK))))))))))**

"I'm up," May sighs finally, rolling out of our shared bed and dragging me with her. "Come on. Let's go get breakfast."

"It's lunch."

"I feel like pancakes."

"Do you know any place that will serve pancakes this late?"

"A pancake house."

"There's no pancake house around here. I asked Jen."

"Then make me pancakes."

"Excuse me?"

"It's your fault I'm stuck to you. Make me pancakes."

"I hate pancakes."

"I hate you."

"Well, now I just feel unloved."

Then I made pancakes.

**((((((((((PAGE BREAK))))))))))**

"Alright," I say as May eats the pancakes I have just made. It's a bit disappointing that she has covered them in maple syrup. They're sweet, fluffy, and are absolutely delicious and she covers up the flavor with maple syrup. I put cranberries and lemon freaking zest in those pancakes. They are the pancakes of a god and she defiles them, evil witch. "You want to get free, right?"

"Yup."

"You know how to get free?"

"Nope."

"I do."

"Then get us free."

"You have to kiss me."

"Not this sh…stuff again," She catches herself, but I can tell she was about to swear. "I'm not going to kiss you Drew. You'll have to live without a girl for a while.

"The Legendary was screwing with us. She wants us to kiss. Then we're free. I swear, no lie. Just kiss me of your own free will and we'll be done."

"Well, I am already sick of you."

"Exactly. So make out with me of your own free will."

"It sounds sneaky."

"But it's not!"

"It's completely sneaky."

"But it's not my sneakiness. It's a Legendary's sneakiness. So pucker up."

"I don't feel like it. Maybe later."

"But you'll do it?"

"Maybe."

"You have no idea how much I hate you."

"More pancakes," Her fork clangs loudly against the plate as she repeatedly slams it against the glass plate.

Ah, my love…

**((((((((((PAGE BREAK))))))))))**

"I've given you five hundred dollars worth of work, clothes, make up, and pancakes. Will you _please _kiss me now?" I suppose this conversation must sound weird to any passerby. It sounds weird to my own ears. Well, mostly because of the pancake part, but still. It is an awfully random conversation if you ask me. We're in the mall, a public place, on a bench, but I'm sure she doesn't care where we kiss, if it's just a peck. She seems like the type who would blush no matter where it happens.

She looks awfully pretty now, in her powder blue blouse and skirt set. She has high heels on, though I'm not sure exactly when we bought them (I was probably mourning my bulimic wallet (it was throwing up money faster than it could get it in (bad joke, sorry))) and a powder blue bandana. She has a light dusting of make up from the make over we took her to, not to mention the French manicure and pedicure on her nails. She would've kept spending, I'm sure, but I ran out of cash.

"Are you completely out of money?" She asks reflectively. She really doesn't handle stress well. It turns her into a horrible person.

"Want to check my wallet?"

"No, I believe you."

"You believe everyone."

"True."

"Will you kiss me now?"

"Promise it's not a lie?"

"Yes, Miss Gullible, it's really not a lie this time. Do you see me in a cacturne costume? Twenty seconds at least, on the lips." So the last part wasn't part of the condition. I'm a liar, sue me. I can't help myself.

And her answer is to lean over and give me a brief peck on the lips, slow and sweeter than any other girl I've ever gotten. One hand is on my cheek, and it takes a second before I realize if her eyes are closed, mine should be too. My eyes flutter closed, and I do my best to stop myself from tackling her and kissing her deeply. I know that will break all the trust she's finally gained in me and I'll never get to second base. I really want to get to second base because, pardon my language, she has a lovely large set of massive melons, huge hooters, humongous headlights, big boobs, whatever you want to call them, she's got them. I'm a horny guy, I notice.

It is long after twenty seconds when she finally pulls away, bright red.

"You're not bad."

"Not bad yourself."

"Don't think I'll be doing that again." She walks away, hips swaying as she gathers her bags and storms back to our rat filled hotel room.

I lay back on the bench and grin up at the sky.

You'd figure she'd know better than to lie by now.


	45. DM I'm Drunk

**Sorry for the lateness. I've got a million projects (group projects, which we all know suck) to do and my English teacher says she wants us to do TWO HUNDRED more vocab words before the end of the year. And I have to read Jane Eyre, which makes me want to self injure from boredom and hatred of the early...whenever's. But I have a bunch of stories written on paper so they just have to be typed up! Yay! Er, sorry for the wait and hope you enjoy!**

**DAML**

* * *

"Oh, dear heavens above, please tell me you're not," Drew groaned, putting his head in his hands. The hot, smoky atmosphere had tinted his pale cheeks a slight red and dried his mouth with the bitter taste of liquor. The subwoofer sounding thunks in the background vibrated from the bar to his elbows to his chest, seeming to make his heart squirm in his chest with each new pulse. "_Please_, May. _Please, _don't tell me what I think you're going to tell me. I don't want to go through this again."

"'M drunk!" Declared May with a giggle. Then, with a happy hiccup, she ordered a shot of vodka, then leaned on him with a slow smile. "Drew-bee, I'm a little tipseeee. Too much booze at the partee and didn't eat enough…eeey." She laughed loudly at her own joke, tossing her head back in a drunk stupor and clutching the bar in front of her to keep from falling down.

Drew, meanwhile, attempted to tune her and the other drunk out. But, the other drunk is another story. What the real story was, was May downing shorts like they were paper/wax minicups filled with water and she was an elephant who had just passed through the dry season. They'd come down, sometime after six, to soothe May about yet another breakup. It hadn't taken long for both May and her galpal Misty to both be completely wasted, dancing on tables, and completely forgetting what they had come for in the first place. It was nearing midnight, and neither girl showed any sign of stopping.

"Drew…Drew…are you gay? 'Cuz I'm coooooool with you being gay, Drew-bee."

"Don't call me Drew-bee," He snapped.

"'Nother vod…vodk…booze." May stumbled through the words and grinned up at the bartender. "'Lo Bobby! Geh me the sam' booze I been drinkin' _allllllll_ night! 'Cuz, even though I try and I try, I can'nuh say vodk…v…the…the one that starts with the vuh."

"Vodka," Robert the bartender smirked, holding up the bottle as she clapped, her hands sliding by each other once or twice.

"No more booze," Drew growled to the man, ignoring May's wide, injured eyes beside him. "You're drunk, May. You're drunker than drunk. You're going to fall off the barstool any second now. And, no, May, I'm not going to pick you up once you do."

"Yes you will! I know that, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deepdeep down…wait…what was I doing?" She asked, her brow wrinkling in confusion. "'Cuz all those deeps had to lead to something and you know what? Deep is an awfully dirty word."

"You, dear, were trying to convince me to catch you if you slip off your barstool," Drew sighed, watching her confused face as it began to go sideways. May, slowly but surely, was tipping sideways off her stool, headfirst for the ground. Whether on purpose or because she was truly that far from sober (both options were probable) she was about to crash, and Drew found he had no other choice but to grab her and prop her up the right way on the stool. "Keep your balance."

"See, Drew-bee? I knew you would catch me, silly goosey! You're a good guy! You'd never let me or anyone else fall and hit their head on the…floor thing." She giggled. "I forgot the word for floor! But, I loveles you! Yup, I loveles you lots! I lurve you more than anyone else in the whole wide world! But…But I do love some_thing _more than you. Do you know what it is?" She asked eagerly. Drew sighed, already expecting that the answer was obvious. "I. Love. Vod…Booze. I don't like beer to much. It's gross. Do you like beer? You never seem to drink it too much. You drink fruity kind of drinks. Misty drinks beer. I think she likes it a lot."

He sighed again and made sure May was righted on the stool. "Trust me, May, everyone is well aware that Misty loves beer. That, or she really loves 'Lady Marmalade'. Judging by the way she seems to regret it each morning, I think it's the beer." He fixed her crooked bandana, internally grinning at her confused, drunken face. "Why don't you do a karaoke song next? I'm sure everyone would absolutely love to hear you sing another duet with Misty. I know I sure would. You sing so beautifully." Which was, of course, a lie. But that did not mean that watching May and Misty sing together on stage lost any of its value. The two girls did not lose the right notes, but the lyrics were lost to giggles and a drunken slur.

"I don't feel like it," May moaned.

"How come?"

"'Cuz I think I feel like…like crap. I think I might even throw up. You know what would make it better?" She didn't let him answer, but instead squealed the word with hope. "Vodka! Let's get a shot of the good stuff, come on! A drinking game! I'm good at those!"

"Really?" He asked calmly, making sure everything was in its proper place. "Have you ever even played a drinking game before?"

"No, but I bet I'm good at it. Let's try it! Bartender, two bottles of vodka! That's right, I said bottles! Hey, twen'ny one bottles for a happy birthday to me!" She grinned and clapped her hand when the barman brought two shots over. "I dunno if it's even my birthday. How much, Bobby?"

The man grinned through the pulsing nightclub music (which had not too long ago switched from a pulsing rap song to the infamous "Lady Marmalade" Misty loved so much) and smoky atmosphere. "How about you undo another button on your shirt little lady? We'll call it even." He winked when May went to do so, and scowled when Drew stopped her and paid for the drinks himself.

"Nice try," Drew muttered to the man. "Her Dad'll kick your ass for that one. This princess had a gym leader for a father. Take advantage of some other drunken girl." He paused for a moment and added. "Keep your hands off Lady Marmalade too."

"She got a gym leader daddy too?" The man asked gruffly, obvious getting a little angry his fun was being spoiled. "You know, that story can only be real so many times. There aren't all that many gym leaders in the world. You might want to watch it before that mouth of yours gets you in trouble. I'm pretty sure I could punch your face in for lying, boy."

"You're assuming," Drew countered. "And when you assume you make an ass out of you and me. I never at any point said she had a gym leader daddy, but that's Ash Ketchum's red head. May can testify to that. Her dad's Norman, a normal type leader and they're all friends with Ash, aren't you May?"

But May had become fascinated with the discovery channel. "Go chicken! Go chicken! Go, go, go! She cheered at the penguins raced along Antarctic ice on their stomachs. "Let's take bets on which chicken wins! My money's on the one on the left, but could someone tell me why all the chickens are wearing tuxedos? That seems like a waste of tuxedos. They'll lay eggs all over them! Why the tuxedos?"

"Because they're penguins, May."

"Go, pengin! Go pengin! Go, go, go!" She began to cheer again, pumping her fists in the air with delight. Then she began, once more, to attempt to get people interested on betting money (and vod…booze) on the 'pengins'. That is, until the channel was changed to ESPN. "Hey! I was watching that!" She protested, pouting at Bob who had the remote in his hand.

"Sorry kiddo."

"That's fine. You didn't mean too." She leaned over to Drew and whispered in a foul smelling breath, "…But my pengin totally won."

He nodded. "Sure it did. How about we quit that vodka and go back to Ash's house. Once we're there we'll get you tucked in bed with a bucket and brace ourselves for tomorrows hangover. There's nothing better than waking up to your screaming moan."

"A hangover sounds like fun. It's like a sleepover but you hang, but it's actually horrible." She mused. "But I don't think I need to quit the vodka. I'm barely liquored up, Drew-bee. I bet I could probably drive back to the house just fine! Oh! Let's try it! I wanna fool Officier Jenny."

"_No_," Drew growled, grabbing her arm. "That's a _huge _no. People _die _because of what you just suggested. I've appointed myself designated driver. That's why I only had one daiquiri tonight, and it wasn't all that strong either. You, however, are not driving and we are going back to your apartment. No more liquor because you'll be regretting that in the morning. And, finally, yes, May, a hangover does sound fun but it's not. It's not fun at all and it's especially horrible after you had a 'sleepover'. You're going to hate this all tomorrow. Let's just hope daylight will come soon and I can get to work."

"It's already tomorrow," Bob pointed out helpfully as he wandered back over. "Sure I can't see your tits, sugar? I don't get much action if you know what I mean."

May grinned. "I've got absolutely no idea what you mean. Drew-bee told me I can't unbutton my blouse. I think it's okay, but Drew says I don't when I don't have any booze and Drew-bee always knows best so…sorry. I've got to keep everything buttoned." She shrugged and looked down her shirt, pulling it out so she could get a better look. "I guess you can't come out tonight, sorry!" She looked up at the green haired boy next to her. "Hey, Drew, some girls name their boobs, do you think I should name mine?"

"And now we're really don't for the night," Drew sighed, leading the staggering girl out of the bar. "Good night everyone! We'll see you tomorrow with May's killer hangover making a comeback!" The bar, not for the first time, waved goodbye to their backs.

**((((((((((PAGE BREAK))))))))))**

"I'm drunk," May explained to Drew once more. She giggled. "I'm _really _drunk. How about you? Naw, you're not. You never get tipsy. You're so lame! Why don't you ever have a beer? Just a few Coronas and you'll be on a beach watching some hot girl strip in a hammock."

"Why do that when, with just a few beers, I can be in a bar watching you stumble around and strip down to your underwear. By the way, I've been told that people absolutely love it when you rip off your shirt in public. It's so dramatic when you just rip it off like the Hulk. Some people get especially excited on the night when you forget your bra." He rolled his eyes.

"You love it when I forget my bra!" She shouted merrily. "I know you do, Drew-bee! I can tell! You just love seeing my boobs! I'm only stripping for you, no one else! I don't even care that you don't give tips! I just care that you want to see my boobs without any bra or anything! I can tell because I'm always looking at your face when I strip on the tables."

"When you're not making out with some random guy in the bar. You scarred poor Ash for life last week," He sighed. "You really should lay off the liquor. Your drunken antics are severely lowering your reputation and mine. I don't like lowered reputations. The press have a field day every time this happens."

"'M sorry," May said as sincerely as she could. "I don't know what comes over me. First it's one shot then two then seven then a whole bottle!" She threw her arms out wide and tossed her head back. This only cause her to stumbled and fall on her butt, which made another burst of laughter erupt. "I fell down!" She declared through her laughter, kicking her feet on the pavement.

He sighed again. "Reduce to helping a drunk walk home. Where had my reputation gone? If this keeps up no girl will want to date me. Congrats. You've ruined my every chance at happiness. I'm going to die cold and alone, like a cat lady except I'm a man."

"Aw, don't worry 'bout that, Drew-bee!" She grinned. "You've got a sexalicious bod! Any girl would be happy to bang you! Hell, I'd bang you! You're very, very, very, very, veeeeery hot! Hey, you know, we're going back to my apartment and I have a bed! We could do it in my bed! It would be awesome!" She beamed up at him, happy to lay on the sidewalk.

Drew kneeled down, look serious into her blue eyes and shook her head. "No. You're drunk. It doesn't work if one person is drunk. If we do that, then not only do I have to do the work, you might pass out, throw up, or something equally annoying while the sin is occurring. And, no, before you ask again, I'm not going back to the bar and getting drunk. Tell you what, after we finish tonight and you wake up tomorrow, sober and cursing my wretched name to hell, I'll see if you still want to go for it then."

Her face scrunched up as she tried to connect the dots. "It's because I'm drunk, isn't it?"

"Yes, that's what I just told you."

"I'm drunk," She confirmed, giggled.

Drew groaned and tugged her back up to her feet, then was forced to groan again as she toppled forward, a deadweight in his arms. "What have you been eating? Mew, you're heavy! Can you, damn it, May, would you cut that out! I already told you nothing's going on while you're drunk! Let it go!" He wanted to shove he off, but faced the problem most people call a conscience.

The 'that' Drew spoke of was May's hands driving under his shirt and feeling his back in clumsy unattractive motions. Her face pushed into his chest, but, at this point, Drew felt nothing. No exhilarating crush from his crush touching him like he had always dreamed of. There was just disgust and irritation at the childish antics May was pulling. So, he grabbed her shoulder, spun her around, and walked her the few feet back to the car, a dark blue convertible with the roof a fabric tarp of protection against car thieves.

Then they were driving. The radio was set to low, soft music with the volume just audible to May's ears. Yes, even after all this time Drew still had a foolish hope that this might help lull her to sleep, or at the very least shut her up. It didn't and she continued to rant as she always did. Usually, it was something inane and insulting about one of their friends.

This time it was Brock's absolutely unhealthy obsession with women and musing on whether or not he'd bang he even though she was drunk unlike the prick sitting next to her in the car. This led to a ten minute span of her poking his shoulder and saying 'prick', a bad pun she, for some unknown reason, found absolutely hilarious and would've gone on with much longer if he hadn't snapped.

"If you don't stop poking me I'm going to slap you, do you understand me?"

"You're funny."

"I'm not joking!"

"Not even a little bit?"

"No. Not in the least."

"Really? I'd figure a little bit-" She was cut off as he slammed the break and smiled when May's head hit the dashboard just hard enough to make her cry out in shock. "Hey! You did that on purpose! What'd you do that for? You're a prick!"

"Okay, May, are we going to keep poking Drew and have that happen again, or are we going to be quiet and listen to the music?"

"You have a pretty good voice. Can you sing?"

"I have the ability to sing. I do not have the ability to sing well. And, to be completely honest, I don't really want to either. I'm not exactly the musical type."

"That's because you don't drink enough," May explained. "It would work out a lot better if you loosened up and got drunk every once in a while. Did you know when you're stressed your body actually releases these freaky chemicals that go into your brain and _eat it_? Yeah, it's true. Your brain totally eats itself. You're going to die of it and when you die they'll chop you up and go, "Huh, what happened to this guy? Oh! I know! He was so stressed the chemicals ate his brain and he died. If only he had slept with someone like that nice girl May he hangs out with! And then no one will come to your funeral and I'll be crying 'oh, Drew, if only you had listened to me and had a beer you'd be alive right now and…Huh…" She blinked, her brain erasing itself. "I forgot what the point of this was supposed to be. Why was I ranting Drew."

"Because God likes to mock me."

She giggled. "That's _soooooooooo_ funny! But really, what was I talking about?"

"I'm pretty sure alcohol, judging by your reaction, destroys my brain and liver a lot faster than the stress does, so perhaps we should move to a new topic of conversation. What are you in the mood for? I'd like to tell you to shut up, but you won't be quiet for me, will you?"

"I can be quiet! I'm a _beast _at the quiet game!" And she was quiet, to her credit. For about three minutes and twenty seconds he basked in the most beautiful silence he had ever experienced. Then, of course, the alcohol mind wiped her again and she spoke. "Drew-bee, do you love me? I wanna know the truth. I'm drunk, so I probably won't remember anyway. I won't laugh or anything. Please tell me, Drew-bee. I never remember anything when I'm this wasted so it doesn't even matter!"

"No, May."

"Please, Drew-bee! Don't be cruel!"

"We can talk about this when you're sober. You can write all this stuff down and tomorrow-"

"No!" She shouted. Her balled up fists slammed into the dashboard before the tears started welling up in her eyes. "Because I can't do it if I don't drink! I can't! I've tried but…but it's so _hard _without a drink! You never want to talk about it and you never bring it up! Even if I asked you to tonight and I di'nt have a single vah'ka! It's because you doh'nt want to and…and you can't do that to me! It's not fair, Drew-bee! You can't keep lying to me, even if I did go and get drunk."

"May, listen-"

"No! You listen!" She shrieked. "You're not listening! I'm trying so, so hard! This is the only…only damn way I can do it and you're not even listening to me! So…so why don't you freaking shut up and listen to me for once! Just because I'm drunk doesn't mean I can't make any sense at all. I can make sense. If you listened…if you listened you would know that." Her voice dropped to a whisper as they pulled up to the house, the motor quietly purring in the almost empty streets. "I'm drunk."

"Yes," Drew agreed. Though his own ears couldn't hear it, May seemed to.

"But even when I…when I'm drunk," She gulped. "I still love you. I know it's hard to believe, especially since I'm not all that so…sob…so…you know. But I know that! I know I wanna kiss you and hold you and love you more than 

anything else in the whole wide world besides vah'ka! I don't want to be without it and I don't want to be without you; because I love you. I don't want to be without it."

"You mean without me," Drew sighed.

"I thought we were talking about vah'ka." May blinked at him. "Hey! That man looks nice! He's handsome too. I'd bang him. Would you bang him?"

"I'm going to take you home with me," Drew sighed. "You can sleep on the pull out. The last thing we need is for you to wake up next to some freak show and pregnant with his baby. There are some genes I'd rather no risk passing on, if you know what I mean," And the car neared to life, every bit of horse power revving up. Yes, he showed off a little. It was a good car, he was allowed. Plus, the delighted expression on May's face as he raced away was priceless. "Cool, car, isn't it?"

"I wanna drive it," May insisted. She balked at Drew's angry glance. "Oh, not now! I don't wanna kill everyone! I mean once I'm sobered up. Maybe tomorrow morning I could drive back over to my house in your cool car?" She asked hopefully.

"Sure, you can drive tomorrow. Your head is going to ache so bad you're just going to try and sleep the whole drive over, just like always, but I'll let you if you're up for it." He chuckled and almost missed his turn. He made it sharply, too sharply, and May's head rapped hard against the window, causing her to cry out in pain once more. "Oops. Did that hurt? I'm sorry."

"Sure you are," She pouted. "You're a jerk head! I didn't even do anything this time and you made me hurt! I ought to poke you all the way to your house for being a prick. Hurting me for no good reason." She sighed. "Do you have voh'ka in your house?"

"No, May, I don't. You don't need anymore."

"Because I'm drunk?"

"That's right," Drew nodded. Then they were walking to the apartment and he was helping her out of the car. "How tipsy are you, May? Do you think you could walk all the way up to the room? You just have to make it down a hall and to the elevator. I don't know if I can drag you," He smirked. "You've gotten awfully fat. Maybe you should stop ordering what Ash eats."

"I wish you could drag me. I don't want to walk that far. My head's way too fuzzy. I think I might be able to make it if I hang on you." She giggled and grinned at him. "You could put your hands around my waist and I'll put mine around your shoulders and all around your neck. I won't have any problems at all going up those scary, scary stairs then, Drew-bee!"

"You just want me to hug you," He groaned, "Don't you? You're relentless, and not in the good way. Can't you be relentless in your effort to get sober?"

"I'd rather get you," She giggled, throwing her arms around him. She nuzzled into his chest with a happy sigh. "You're warm and cozy and I need to kiss you. You're too tall. Bring your lips down here so we can have a hot and heavy make out session. You know you want to."

"I should've left you there. You're going to rape me, I know it." Nevertheless, he slung her on her back, piggyback style. And though it was difficult, he did manage to keep her from kissing any spots of flesh she could reach. She was awfully set on kissing him, and attempts were made in the hall, the elevator, and through the hall again. After much fiddling and an incredible balancing act, Drew managed to pull out his keys and unlock his apartment. Then, feeling particularly brace that day, he put his keys back in his pocket. He tossed her into a chair and opened the pull out couch with a grunt. One handed, the couch was tugged and landed heavily on the floor.

The bed was already made in the hotel styles brown and white dressing. White, fluffy pillows sat peacefully at the top. Drew didn't even have to yank her from the couch as she ran forward and dived into the soft, loving bed. He rolled his eyes as she giggled and bounced around on the fluffy mattress. She kicked and played for a moment, rolling so much she looked like she would rolls off.

"Comfortable?" He chuckled.

"I'd be more comfortable if you were in here with me, Drew-bee," She informed him, smiling dreamily up at his green tresses.

"Now, come on. You've got two pillows, plenty of blankets, there's a trash can by you bed-" He gestured to the item so she would know where it was. "Do you need anything else, May-bee?" He teased, watching her look around his apartment as if she had never seen it before.

She took out her hair ties and shook her head, mostly to answer his question and then flopped back, beaming up at him with little giggles. Speech had long since escaped her as she felt black tugging at the edges of her vision. Definitely a blackout, any second now. Her eyes closed more than they opened, but the cheerful expression wavered. Her hand raise and urged him next to her.

"No, May. I can't. I have a job to get to. I've got people to talk to. It's Sunday, May. Tomorrow is Monday. I can't start off badly. If I sleep here I'm not going to hear my alarm clock and I'll be sleeping until way, way late since you're not waking up anytime early." But still, she beckoned him closer, and he sat on one side of the bed. His hand held hers. "I'll stay until you fall asleep tonight, okay? The second you're asleep I'm walking back to my bed. I can't stay with you all night. You'll be fine waking up alone. You have my 'nav number." He stopped and sighed. Her breathing was slow and even, a light snoring filling the empty room. "And you fell asleep as I was talking to you. Real polite, Mya. Can't you be considerate and not full asleep every time I try to make conversation. I can't be that boring." She continued to snore and he continued to sigh. "You don't care. You're drunk. You've passed out on my pull out bed and I should have my way with you for falling asleep. That's what you deserve falling asleep while I talk to you."

He blew his bang out of his face and watched her breathing, the rhythmic rise and fall was comforting in a way. Maybe it was jus the knowledge that her heart wouldn't stop while she slept. And the more his mind wrapped around the idea, that she would die while he was comfortable in his bed or a car or a contest or anything the guiltier he felt. And, eventually, on that soft bed, he lay down beside her and tugged her close. He flipped her on her side (so she would chode if she threw up and pulled her hair form her face with a long sigh.

"Goodnight, May. If you kill me in the morning I want you to know that you're going to hell for slaughtering an innocent person."

May cuddled closer in reply.

**((((((((((PAGE BREAK))))))))))**

May's eyes blinked open. Something was wrong. This wasn't her house, but she knew it from somewhere. It was definitely not a strangers house, that much she was sure of. It didn't have that hotel style look either. It was an apartment, no hers. Drew's? Yes, Drew's again. It couldn't have been anyone else's. Her mouth tasted like vomit and her head was throbbing.

"Sucks," She moaned, feeling the need to vomit again. She was too comfy to move, however, and swallowed a few times to help the moment pass. She couldn't help but wonder why she was so warm. Sure, Drew's bed was always comfortable but never this comfortable. She moaned again.

A soft voice tickled her ear an made her body go rigid. "We didn't do a thing last night, I promise you. I slept next to you but we didn't even kiss. You know how I am, May, I don't lie. Besides, there are plenty better looking girls out there for me to take advantage of."

"Why didn't you take me to your house?" She inquired.

"You wanted to sleep with a hobo. You thought he was sexalicious with a hot bod. I couldn't really let you, could I? Next time you get drunk I'll make sure you don't see any men. I'll put blinders on you, we'll make sure you walk straight ahead." He laughed at his joke, then pulled his arms away and tapped her shoulder. "I would never sleep with you while you were intoxicated because I love you."

May shout up like she was launched out of a rocket, then her hand flew to her temple and she fell back with a moan. "Oh, my head. Hangover. Big hangover. Drew, do you have any pills or toast or something to knock me out or something? I can't stand this."

"I'm making you some toast right now," Drew consoled. "I got up earlier this morning. It'll be ready in a second. Have fun eating it all black with cold water to wash it down. It's like you're in prison, but you're not some angry person's girlfriend."

"Mmm, but I think some of the effects are still lingering. You'll never believe what I thought I heard you say. I thought you said-"

"I love you?" Drew asked. "I did, May. I hope it's not too sudden. It's awfully sappy for me, but I felt like taking your advice for once. You always take mine so…I thought it might be nice to return the favor. You told me I never want to talk about what's going on and…you're right."

"I'm right?" May blinked.

"Yes, you are one hundred percent right in your drunken state. I should've told you forever ago because, even thought you went about a _stupid _day to do it, at least you were trying. I should've tried too. Being drunk…probably not the best, but whatever works for you."

She grinned, "Really? So, you're not just screwing with me?"

"Regardless of the fact that you wanted me to last night, no, I haven't screwed with you, mentally or physically. Now, if you wouldn't mind, can I kiss you?" He asked, sitting up with an almost shy grin of his own. "You made it hard not to think about last night."

She snorted. "I think you just blew it. Drew would never ask to kiss me, not in a million years. He'd just do it. So, who are you? Invasion of the Body Snatchers? Mind control? Or maybe you're just high right now. You know, if you had drugs you should've shared."

"Nope," He joked cheerfully. "I'm drunk."

And kissed her.


	46. AM Hey, That Rhymes!

**It's not a poem, exactly, it's a rhyming story. Bear with me. It's cute and sorta funny. Handymanshipping, hells yes!  
It has dialogue, and fluffiness. Take it, darling reviewers! Do with it what you will!**

* * *

**AAML**

Up is down and down is up,  
I think a fever's rising.  
He walks in through my front door and…  
Oh, dear Mew, I'm hiding.

I've never hidden from a guy before!  
And, dammit, it's just Ash!  
That stupid, moronic, overbearing  
Boy who hasn't paid the cash…

The cash for the freaking bike he owes me!  
I don't care that it's practically brand new!  
I still say that I get a new one!  
Some kind of interest too!

I wonder how rude this really is,  
Hiding from a guest.  
But, then again, I just can't face him.  
It's really for the best.

Oh crap, er, yay, Ash is here.  
And he found me…under my bed.  
I think he kinda knows I'm hiding.  
But he talks of other stuff instead.

"Misty, uh, what are you doing?"  
He asks in faked innocence.  
"I think you know what's going on, Ash.  
Not ever you're that dense!"

"I'm not dense!" He pouts with anger.  
I simply scoff and growl.  
"Move before I hurt you, Ashley."  
He flashes me a scowl.

But then he moves away from me,  
And I crawl out from my spot.  
He's looking at me funny  
Then I feel my face get hot.

"I just came here for a visit!"  
He acts as if he'll cry.  
"See, this is what you get pal,  
When you're actually a_ nice_ guy."

And then the scowl has vanished  
And he's petting Pikachu  
So I'm feeling pretty guilty.  
"Sorry, Ash, it's not about you."

"So what's got your panties in a knot?"  
He asks without a care.  
"You know, you're really not supposed to talk  
About a girl's underwear."

"Fine," He rolls his eyes at me.  
"What's wrong in your life?"  
I wrinkled my nose,  
"Tracey's the husband, Daisy's the wife."

"You don't want us to talk about it,"  
He hummed, scratching his head.  
Ash taps a thumb against his temple.  
"_That's _why you're under the bed!"

"Yep, you caught me," I snapped and shouted.  
I wish I could crawl back to my spot.  
"And I really don't want to talk about it.  
So, please, can we not?"

"You don't want Tracey as your brother?"  
He teases with a smile.  
"Don't make a face. Sit next to me.  
We'll be talking for a while."

So, with a huff I settle down,  
My knees curled beneath my chin.  
I close my eyes and brace myself  
For the lecture to begin.

"It's not that I don't want him here,  
You know I love the guy,  
It's just…when he's with Daisy…"  
I trail off with a sigh.

"It's been getting me so crazy!  
I don't know what's wrong with me!  
I just don't want him on a branch  
Of my stupid family tree.

"It's like some family incest orgy!"  
I explained, getting ticked.  
"Damn it, Ash, I know it shouldn't,  
But the pairing makes me sick!

"Romance in general is getting gross!  
I think we should just dorp it.  
Daiz and Trace? Blinded by love.  
Come on, Ash! We've got to stop it!"

He blinks at me with strange, strange eye,  
Then turns to his best friend.  
They begin a conversation  
I have to wait for it to end.

But they finally look back at me,  
Pikachu's eyes looking straight up,  
"Mist, I just don't think it's right,  
You know, to try and break them up.

"Tracey's so in love with Daisy!  
And you said she loves him back!  
Besides, Misty, you _have _been wrong-"  
He was silenced with a smack.

"What'd you go and hit my head for?"  
He whines and rubs the spot.  
"Is it because I said you're not always right?  
Man! Your temper's hot!"

He grinned and made his muscles tighten,  
Ready to sprint away,  
"Hey, you know what else is hot?  
What Trace and Daisy do all day!"

I give an angry, freaked out yell,  
Leaping from the bed.  
We topple down into the carpet,  
Banging both our heads.

"That's sick and wrong, you little pervert!"  
I scold, though I smile.  
We a groan he then replied,  
"We'll be here for a while."

Ash talk about why it's normal.  
Their relationship that is.  
For some strange reason I start to notice  
How _handsome _Ash's face is.

Though his face is still too boyish,  
It has a sort of charm.  
And as I realize I might be…_crushing_  
My mind sets off an alarm.

I shake it off and tilt my head.  
"So…what the hell did you just say?"  
I think this relationship has traumatized me!  
I just can't focus today!"

He looks up for a moment,  
He doesn't mind he's pinned.  
Though most boys fight and scream,  
This one has never dinned.

"Okay, alright, I'll start again.  
But this is the last time I do.  
There might be something wrong  
Because you're looking funny too."

I raise a fist above his head.  
"I'm looking funny, Ash?"  
"Okay, Mist, not like that.  
Let's not do something rash."

"Rash means something without a plan,  
It's rushed and done on whim.  
Trust me, Ash, there's a plan."  
That's when I went to hurt him.

"Misty, what the hell?" Daisy growls,  
Looking from the hallway.  
I laugh nervously and pat his cheek.  
"How are you this lovely morning?"

And she still looks awfully angry.  
Awfully freaked out too.  
So with a bright smile I confide,  
"Big sister, I love you."

"_What _are you doing?"  
He voice is harsh and cold.  
"The same thing I've been doing  
Since I was ten years old!"

Her face seems to turn a sickly pale,  
Though I'm no sure why,  
But with the way she's staring,  
She'll either scream or cry.

"What, exactly, do you mean?"  
She asks, her voice down low.  
"Explain, like, what's going on,  
And, like, try to say it slow."

"It's just what it looks like,"  
My voice not without a bite.  
"It's like what you do to Tracey  
After you and I fight."

Her face seems only to turn paler,  
I think she's freaking out.  
I turn her out for a single moment.  
I always do when she starts to shout.

"Okay, what have you been screaming?"  
I ask her, my head turning to the side.  
"If it's nothing too important  
Uh, I'm kinda committing homicide."

"Hold it," She says,  
Her hands shake in the air.  
"What, like, are you doing?"  
Her hands run right through her hair.

"Hitting Ash," I say and shrug,  
Poking his squishy cheek.  
"Hey, that hurts!" He cried out lightly.  
I glare; his cries grow weak.

"I know I'm not supposed to,  
But he's dense and such a dork!  
I mean, this kid still likely thinks  
That babies come from storks."

"Not _that _stupid," He says, dejected,  
Frowning under me.  
"Besides, I know where babies come from.  
And so does she and Tracey."

"See, Daisy! Listen to him!  
He keeps saying that kind of stuff!  
I can take it once or twice,  
But I think he's done enough."

"Hey, I only said it once before.  
That's when I got under her."  
Then he raved and ranted all about me,  
And finished with a contented purr.

"She wants to break up you and Tracey!"  
He declared with loads of pride.  
"Go ahead and ask her!  
I swear I haven't lied!"

"I'm just glad that's, like, all you're doing."  
Daisy gives her tongue a click.  
"From the way you two were sitting  
I thought you were doing it."

I watch as Ash's face takes on a blush  
And I know mine looks just as red.  
The only defense that I can think of?  
"We…we would've done it in my bed."

She shrugs and laughs, "I guess that's true,  
Like, little sis, and you would've locked the door.  
But with the shit kids do nowadays,  
A girl can't be too sure."

So we're silent for a moment,  
A mix of relief and joy,  
Then Daisy pipes up,  
"How 'bout you get off the boy?"

So I flush again and leap up,  
Watching Ash stumble to his feet.  
"You guys should talk about your handyman,  
And how he's turning up the heat."

"What's there to say" I ask to no one,  
A false smile as my sis.  
"I don't like it when you hug.  
I get shivers when you kiss.

"You freak me out, to say the least.  
Every time you're holding hands.  
To drown out your stupid flirting  
I listen to _boybands._

"And I'd rather hear the Backstreet Boys,  
The Jonas Brothers too,  
Anything is better than you saying,  
'I love you'.

"But you wouldn't you feel weird?  
What if we had a brother?  
I fell in love with my sibling,  
And then I became a mother…

"Well, you'd really have to think about it.  
What he did to me in bed.  
Wouldn't you get angry,  
Having those thoughts in your head?

"But you can't exactly yell at the boy,  
Because you still love him!  
And if one gets their heartbroken,  
…Though the odds are slim.

"Well, who could you ever side with?  
How could you dare decide?  
In the end someone is happy  
And post trauma someone's cried.

"Then you feel so guilty,  
Like you had chosen the stupid side,  
And then you feel so bad that you  
Want to run and hide!

"Then some dumb kid finds you,  
Curled under your bed,  
Trying to think of good things  
To get the guilt out of your head.

"The whole thing's just plain bad luck.  
Crap, I think I'm-" I cry.  
I reach up and swipe away  
At the tears falling from my eye.

"I'm just…sick of people getting hurt!  
You cry and then I see you…  
He called you too shallow,  
You said he's ignoring you."

"Then…I'm caught in the crossfire!  
I have to choose who's right!  
Hell, Ash and I argue  
But no one else gets in the fight!

"I can't stand the screaming, Daisy!"  
And now I scream myself.  
I stomp over to my corner and  
Grab my bag up off the shelf.

"So, Ash, where's you next adventure?"  
I ask confused brown eyes.  
"Well, I should say our adventure."  
Confusion to surprise.

"No! You can't come with me!"  
He gasps in slack jawed wonder.  
"Er, not that I don't want you there!"  
An attempt to fix his blunder.

"You can't just from things."  
He tries to explain again.  
"I'd love to have you with me,  
Like, you know, we're ten."

"You know that I really missed you,  
Just like I missed Brock and Tracey,  
But now you're ditching Daisy,  
Don't you think that's pretty dang hasty?

"So, no you can't come with me.  
But you can't sit here and wail.  
I'll be out on my adventure  
Walking on another trail."

"And once you sort this out,  
And I know that you can do it,  
Cuz you're pretty and charming and sweet and nice,  
And you know that-ah, just screw it!

"When it comes to love you're not half bad.  
You'll fix them up just fine!  
And if you come because you want to come  
I've got no problem for next time!"

And I smile, half noticing,  
Daisy's out the door.  
I can only see her feet  
'Cuz my eyes are to the floor.

I'm sorta kinda…blushing.  
I can't help it that I am.  
It sounds like Ashton like me.  
So I'm as happy as a clam.

"What's with that expression anyway?  
Um, I mean, you've got pretty eyes."  
Well, of crap I think I just said  
the inside on the outside.

"Uh, I guess I mean I'd love to go.  
This whole thing's screwing up my brain.  
Hey, Ash, I'll wait in here.  
Go in back to train!"

I turn away too quickly.  
My bag joins his on the floor.  
As I kneel down to pick it up  
I muse racing rudely out the door.

"I _do _make you clumsy," Ash said,  
Sitting on my right.  
"Huh, I guess I was wrong.  
Brock wins _another _fight."

"Ash, what are you ranting about?"  
I blow hair from my face.  
"So I drop a freaking bag for once!  
You trip all over the place!"

"Yeah," He laughs, "I know I do."  
He agrees and and lays right down.  
"It's just weird 'cuz you get flustered  
And _always _drop stuff on the ground!"

"When have I ever-"  
"Altomere," He smirks in my direction.  
"Remember when that someone showed me,  
Er, a nice sign of affection?"

"You mean Bianca kissed you."  
I confirm in a murmur.  
"Well, if you really want to know…  
I don't think it was her."

Now, this is a little shocking,  
And I'm not all that easy to surprise.  
But though I glare into his face,  
It's not another lie.

"How come? You didn't feel the fireworks?  
They weren't flashing in that air?  
And before you say a single word,  
I'm neither jealous nor do I care."

Which, of course, is a total lie.  
Of course I freaking care!  
Girl came right up and freaking kissed him…  
And Brock and I were sitting just a few feet from there!

"She didn't say a single word,"  
He continued with a shrug.  
"And from what I saw she's not a girl  
Who likes to kiss or hug."

"I guess that's true, you're kinda right  
But you're going way off track.  
You started with me being clumsy.  
Let's try to work our way back.

"She kissed me, you remember that.  
Do you know what you let go?  
That screaming little Togepi!  
But Brock put on quite a show-"

"Can you freaking focus!  
I don't know why I talk to you!"  
But even as I say it I regret it cuz…  
I do.

He's handsome and he's charming.  
I simply love his hair.  
He's got a cute laugh and smile and,  
Mew, he really cares!

He holds people in his heart,  
Near and dear and sweet.  
And when he tries his hardest  
The boy just can't be beat.

And I don't know when it happened  
And I really don't know how  
But I'm crazy in love with Ash Ketchum,  
It's finally just hit me…wow.

Misty's fallen in love with a dork,  
And I think it's kind of fun.  
The realization's kind of stunning,  
That I like the Chosen One.

Mew! It's just plain weird though!  
To really understand…  
All this heart-beating and palm-sweating  
Is due to my boy turned man.

"Hey, Misty, I was wondering."  
He began quietly.  
"If next time that I dropped by  
You'd…come away with me?"

"Like, maybe on your journey?"  
I asked, just as weary.  
The few seconds before he answered  
Have never felt so scary.

"Yeah, on my journey.  
And…I sort thought  
That everyone now and then  
We'd run off without Brock."

"You mean, like, on a dateish thing?"  
I ask, teeth biting in my cheek.  
"'Cuz I might be ready in a month,  
Give or take a week."

"I think I could be here then,  
Give or take a week."  
The he looked at what I'd been biting on  
And quickly kissed my cheek.

He blushed and pulled away a bit.  
"I've been waiting to do that…"  
And with a twist the cap was mine.  
"You can have my hat."

Then he laughed and shook his head,  
Like he did through all the times.  
"Hey, that was pretty funny, Misty!  
What I just said rhymes!"


	47. AMDM THEMES: The Final Battle

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hershey's chocolate syrup, **_**very **_**depressing topic, if I do say so myself. Nor do I own: Dora the Explorer, Naruto, "Wild Thing", the Toys 'R' Us Song, AMP, Gilligan's Island, "Dulcinea" from "The Man of La Mancha", "The Man of La Mancha", "The Phantom of the Opera", "Cats", "Peter Pan".**

**I apologize for the length, and you will never have one this long again!**

**1. THEME: ****Light****--Pairing: AAML--Title: Flash**

It was the first boom of thunder that jolted Brock from his slumber. His eyes darted around the room for a moment before he relaxed with a sigh. His little brother and sisters were not in the nearly quiet room with him, just two sets of uneven breaths from Ash and Misty. The rain slapped the side of the center with the muffled wet waves of a vicious storm, a sound he was well used to facing along. Another lightning bolt flashed and he could've sworn he heard a yelp from his younger male companion. He smiled. He's give until the thunder before he heard his favorite words (as a big brother, not as a pervert).

Then the thunder boomed and small feet pounded across the floor. Ash stared for a moment, his face suspended in the light, too pale to be natural, before it all faded. It was half hidden behind Pikachu, but still shaking with horror and holding wide eyes. "Hey, Brock-o, do you mind if, uh, well, it's not like you have to or anything. I don't need to. I 'm not scairt or anything. I was wondering if I could maybe, uh, sleep in your bed tonight. It's fine if you don't want me to. It's probably a stupid idea anyway."

Brock chuckled, glad for his logic. He had bought a queen sized bed for the room, instead of the usual bunk bed/single combination. He shuffled over and patted the bed next to him, restraining another laugh as he felt Ash bounce in. "It's no problem, Ash. I'm an older brother. It's what I do."

"Thanks a bunch, Brock! I won't do this every night, I swear. You don't need to worry. It's just the first time I've been away from home. Well, not away from home, but I've never been away when there's a thunderstorm before," Ash blushed and dived deep under his covers. "Really sorry. Goodnight."

"No problem," Brock grinned, a little touch of wonder filling his mind. Was everyone going to fit in this bed? "I don't know why you're saying goodnight though. We've still got a third musketeer waiting. You want to make a bet on how long it'll take for Misty to race over? I'll give her until the next flash of lightning."

"Misty?" Ash asked. He shook his head. "No way, Brock. You're nuts! She's not afraid of anything! She'll probably make fun of me for being scared of the storm. I don't know how you could think she'll get scared. Oh! Did she tell you she hated lightning storms, like she hates bugs?"

"No, Ash," He laughed quietly. "But Misty's the same age as you, remember? She's a kid too. Just wait. Once she gets over her pride she'll come over. Then we'll get to sleep. Well, I'll get to sleep. You'll probably be able to sleep just fine knowing that she's terrified in her bed, won't you?" He asked.

"I don't think so," Ash mumbled. "I think she's not scared of anything." But, not wanting to get scolded and feeling too tired to argue, he let his eyes slip close. He was sure Brock would figure out exactly what kind of person Misty was, the way Ash knew what kind of person she was. She wouldn't show up that night.

Of course, he was a little startled when the thunder boomed again but jumped more at the small whimper that came from across the room. He heard and faintly saw Misty hiding her head under the covers, her nails digging deep into her red knapsack she clutched in place of a stuffed animal. Ash hesitated, then turned to Brock with a questioning glance, not daring to speak in case Misty discovered where he was. He jerked his thumb over his shoulder to get his point across, and the older boy snorted.

"Hey, Misty?" Brock called softly. "Misty, are you up? We saw you move. Did the storm wake you?"

"The thunder just did," She murmured. Her voice trembled a bit, with fear rather than the drowsy, just-woke-up tone one would expect. "That one would rattle a house. I bet a lot of kids will have problems sleeping tonight." She pulled the covers from her face and stared. "Ash…is in your bed. That _is_ Ash, isn't it? It's got to be! He's holding Pikachu!" Misty gawked. "What's Ash doing in your bed?"

Ash felt the color rise to his cheeks and shifted uncomfortably. "I couldn't sleep , is all," Ash snapped. "You couldn't sleep either, so just shut up! You woke up because of the storm just like I did! You're a little kid like me! Brock even said so!"

"No like you!" Misty snapped. "I sleep in my own bed because I'm not a little kid! See? I'm not scared, I just woke up, that's all! You have to sleep with Brock because you're just some stupid baby!"

"I'm not a baby!"

"You are too!"

"Nu-uh, only kids are scairt of bugs are babies! You're allowed to be scairt of the dark and of thunder and lightning and stuff like that!"

"You don't know what you're talking about!" Misty snarled. "Babies never do!"

"Okay, that's enough," Brock scolded. "Misty, Ash, if neither of you are babies how about we stop acting like them? There's nothing wrong with being scared of thunder storms or being scared of bugs. Misty, if you want to sleep here too it's okay. You're still technically a kid. All of my brothers and sisters don't stay in bed during the thunderstorms and I know a few of them that are older than you."

Misty humphed and turned her back on them. "Well, that may be how it works for you, but I haven't done that kind of thing since I was six years old. I don't need to run away from the storm. I know it can't get me in here." Thunder crashed especially loud this time and both youngsters screamed. Ash grinned a second later, giving a loud 'ha' and pointing at her accusingly. "It surprised me! And, besides, how can anyone but a snorlax sleep with that loud pounding outside?"

"Everyone else in the Center," He giggled. "Admit you're scare and get over here. You'll whine about being tired tomorrow if you don't. I promise I won't tell anybody. Hey, if I spread the word that you're a baby, you're just going to spread it around that I'm a baby and then everyone's going to make fun of me during pokemon battles. But I bet you wouldn't do that anyway. I bet you secretly like me and are too nice to do that."

"Hey, I'm not a baby and I'm _not _nice!" Misty shouted. She couldn't contain the whimper that came out of her mouth as she saw lightning flash, this one seeming to be much closer than before, then hid under her covers as the thunder hit once more.

Ash stared at the girl for a moment, then rolled out of his bed and crawled across the floor. Before the next round of storm noises he had grabbed her wrist and, ignoring her yelps and squirming, dragged and pushed her into the bed with the other two boys with a proud smile on his face. He jumped in beside her, sandwiching the poor girl in between them, then giggled when Pikachu licked his cheek goodnight.

"I don't want to be here," She growled, punching Ash's shoulder. "And I'm stuck here with two stupid _boys _on either side of me. You're intolerable, both of you. You sure don't know how to treat a woman! I'm _so _telling your parents."

"I know," He laughed. "But…well, you're scared, Mist. Even if you don't want to admit it, we know you are. It's better for us to be scared together than alone." He tapped her arm, getting her to look him in the eye. "If nothing else, well, you can just say you're keeping me from getting scairt of storms."

"Scared, Ash, not scairt, and it doesn't make any sense!" She whined. "You face all sorts of adventures and villains and do all kinds of scary things! None of the others stuff you do is scarier than this! You shouldn't be so scared and have to sleep with Brock, and neither should I!"

"Well, I guess not," He shrugged. "But, it's just like now! I'd be scared to do it all on my own, but it's not nearly so bad when I've got you, Brock and Pikachu! See? When you're with other people that you know will keep you safe, nothing seems so bad!"

The thunder and lightning clashed almost together this time, louder and brighter than ever before. Two grinning face, one sleeping yellow one, one brown one _pretending _to be sleeping were lit in the flash, but not a scream was heard. Then the light blinked out, the thunder settled to the waves of rain, and three trainers lay snoring in one bed.

**2. THEME: Hunger--Pairing: DAML --Title: Big Breakfast**

You can always tell when there is a change. You can usually tell most of all when there is an attempt for the change to be hidden.

Though, Drew did not believe he was an animal person, the pokemon were not alone in noticing the change in Ms. Maple. Everything about her seemed downcast, from the way she walked and talked to the way her smile wasn't anything more than a pair of upturned lips. Her features were sharpened by the abrupt loss of baby fat, her shirt hanging looser and her eyes sinking back into her head with an almost lifeless gleam.

And yet, though he was disgusted with himself for feeling that way, she had not yet passed the point where features hallowed too far and bone jutted out too harshly. She was comfortably situated in the 'model' ranger of appearance, and she looked lovely. In truth, the 'diet' she had been doing was working, and any side effects of the malnutrition, the dulled hair, the dulled skin, were easily covered up with dye, strange shampoo, beauty products.

"Want lunch?" Drew asked. His cocky tone had faded, the smirk that once constantly graced his lovely features had long, long ago been replaced with a hopeful smile. A smile that hoped that, maybe, the girl would one day respond with an answer everyone could enjoy, not the empty lie that followed.

"I'm not hungry," She smiled.

He couldn't help but stare at her a moment. A false expression it may have been, but it was lovely. There was no more question of whether or not he found himself attracted to her, that 

every moment was just to resist the temptation of her perfume doused body, mixed with the smell of sweat from long days of walking in the sun. Even May had begun to notice the long, infatuated glances he threw her way. "You're never hungry, May. I never see you eat. I never see you drink anything but water either, plain water. Zero calorie water all day long. I bet that helps wean off the hunger a bit."

She laughed, a woman's laugh that knew too much of the world. "I _am_ watching my weight, Drew. You know I am. You don't need to worry so much about me. I'm a big girl. I can't take care of myself and I don't need your protection. I'm not the same girl who can barely win a contest."

They were quiet for a minute, Drew's fork tapping his plate. "You can't go on like this. You won't be pretty if you keep this up. There's such a thing as being too skinny. Have a damn salad, for Mew's sake. Eat healthy, at least! Be a damn vegan for all I care, but you should _eat_. You want to move up to flavored water? Drink one, May! Drink it without looking at the calories or adding them up in your head! I never should have made you lose the calculator! You _ate _then! It may have been obsessive and strange but, fuck, it's definitely better than what you're doing to yourself now! Anything's better than what you're doing to yourself now!"

"Calm down, Drew. Do I look like I'm anorexic?" She smiled condescendingly, a child worried too much about his mother on a topic he knew nothing about. "If you really want I'll take a bite of your salad. I don't really like the dressing you put on it, but if it'll make you feel better…"

"All the while counting the step you'll have to take to walk it off," He hissed venomously. "I'm not stupid, May! I know what you're doing! Everyone knows what you're doing but you won't get help and there's not a thing we can do to help! There's nothing _I _can do to help, but, Mew, if you can just admit you have a problem I'd let it go for a bit! We could talk about it and see someone to help!" Drew cried. "May, I'm begging you, please."

"You're overreacting to a bit of weight loss," She shook her head, the patronizing look never fading from her eyes.

"You're overreacting to his death!" Drew spat. The smile locked on her face, but anger and fear rose in the blue. "Yes, I know. It's all about him! Max is _dead_, May. We've all come to terms with it but you! You're going through every health class textbook symptom! You couldn't control delaying his death and now you're trying to control everything else from our path to your weight! What you don't realize is you're killing yourself in the process! Dammit, you can't be anymore after school special! Eat your lunch! Take mine! Eat something instead of becoming a skinny zombie that's going to show up on some future health video!"

And, as if to mock his 'textbook case', she flashed him her fake porcelain doll smile and said, "No thanks. I had a big breakfast."

**3. THEME: ****Beginning**** --Pairing: AAML--Title: Birthday**

There was something about that moment that was just pure miracle; there was no other way to describe it. It should've been disgusting, revolting, Ash and Misty had certainly thought it would be when Brock had described it to them. But for some reason, when it hit the straw with a wet, heavy thud, neither could bring themselves to do anything but stare with wide eyed delight. Its head rose, looking around with thrilled eyes and quite enjoying its new world so different than the one it had been living in the past few months. The mother then came over, nuzzling it tenderly and prompting it to stand.

They had never seen a foal before. It _was _disgusting and revolting, but cute. Ash could never live with himself ever again for melting over a baby, but somehow it was worth it when Misty's 

hand dropped over his, a subconscious reaction to the weak creature before her. It didn't clutch, didn't squeeze, just lay on top of his like a butterfly too tired to fly any further. It sure made his heart flutter like the wings of one.

"It's beautiful, Ash, don't you love it? I've never seen a baby…animal…that doesn't, you know, come out of an egg. It's weird to think that," She swallowed. "That's how we got here. That's how my baby will get here. I can't believe that's how…" She trailed off, once in her life unable to come up with any words. She just kept the slightly dazed, completely amazed smile stuck to her face and half closed her eyes.

"I don't think we fall that far to the ground. Well, unless the doctor misses and you hit the hospital floor, but you might not last as long as the foal after that." He joked. He half expected the hard smack on the back of his head because of such a cruel joke. That's what usually happened. But this time, she let it go with a giggled and leaned on him. The tingly, butterfly feeling increased, but he fought the instinct to scramble away.

"I guess you're right. But…you know what I mean, don't you?" She giggled again as the baby gave a little squeal, then jumped at the sound of its own voice. "Isn't it adorable Ash? Just look at him…her…do you know which one it is?"

"It's a girl," Brock confirmed. "Healthy and strong. Do either of you two know what that makes her? What do you call a girl baby horse." The two shrugged. "A filly. A boy is a colt. If you don't have a gender in mind it's a foal. Can you two remember that?"

"Ash probably can't," Misty giggled. "I don't think he can even remember how to put his hat on right. From what his mother says, he can't even remember to change his underwear. By the way, Ash, your mother told me to ask you if you _have _been changing your underwear. So, have you? I think I remember a few days where you didn't bother changing out of the clothes you had just traveled in."

"Aw, shut up!" He cried, trying not to laugh and not succeeding.

"Did your doctor miss _you _when you came out?"

And then they were both giggling, banging into each other playfully and tugging lightly at hair. It turned into a play-fight, wrestling, strange dance that caused them to tumbled to the floor, rolling all around and laughing loudly all the while.

"Like colts and fillies leaping through a meadow," Brock asked with a grin, "Right, Pikachu? I guess this is what happens when you mix the miracle of life and a love hate relationship. I have to say, it's pretty weird."

Then the laughter stopped as an endorphin high Misty, still grinning, leaned forward just far enough to plant a soft, lingering kiss on his cheek. And though she pushed off of him, he could do no more than lay there, mouth open in a horrified 'O', looking on the brink or fainting or going into a panic attack. He leapt to his feet and raced back up to her, crashing into her and the stable door a little harder then intended.

"Hush up, Ash," She scolded. "I want to see the newborn filly." She wriggled her fingers. "Hey there cutie! Yeah, hi. Hey sweetie. Aren't you adorable? Yeah, pretty girl. Today is a very special day for you, filly. Happy Birthday!"

**4. THEME: Green--Pairing: DAML --Title: Grow**

She was surprised, having never seen the boy do anything like this before, and it probably would be weird to her no matter how many times she saw it. But wandering into Drew, getting his clothes, his name brand clothes, being covered and destroyed by soil and fertilizer made her mouth drop open. For, Drew, the boy who eternally chopped things down, destroyed them, made people sob and cry for mercy at his relentless taunting, could not possibly be helping something come to life.

She walked to him, her feet lightly crunching against the crisp dew covered grass and looking up at the gray cloud sky until she drew even with the boy. She plopped onto the grass beside him, and stared for a moment, biting her lip. She didn't want to talk, in case he would be angry with her and start snapping. Also, it seemed almost a peaceful moment and it would be a sad thing to ruin it. But, it was not made to last forever, and eventually the boy looked up with a raised eyebrow.

"Hello," He blinked. "What are you staring at? There's nothing much going on here. Shouldn't you be training for a contest?"

She stared back, searching for words, and then sighed. "I should be. I know. I just needed a break, I guess. I trained all day yesterday, so I'm not exactly slacking off. Yes, eevee deserves some training even if the baby isn't in the contest but…I need a break. You look liked you're taking a break, so should you really be talking, Drew-bee?"

"What have I told you about that nickname?" He scolded. "I never liked that name and I never will. And, if you remember, I can't compete in the contest. I was challenged to a battle, and I couldn't very well say no, but even though I won with my brand new ponyta, he's too tired to battle tomorrow. I can't enter him in the contest, especially if I know how much it'll hurt him to battle."

"What are you doing, Drew-bee?" She asked, not at all swayed by his scolding. She brought her knees to her chest and set her chin on them with a smile. "I never thought I'd see the day where you'd be outside and not following me around until I cry. Instead you're out here doing…?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" He retorted, pulling out a bulb. "This, is going to grow into something pretty, a tulip, to be exact. I'm going to plant it in the dirt, water it, and let it grow. That's what one usually does when they garden. So, as is proper, I'm following the traditions of gardeners everywhere and growing something green."

"Is it some kind of 'green planet' thing you got into?" May asked again, watching as he placed the bulb in the dirt and covered it lovingly with soil. "I haven't heard any of this stuff. Were you walking through the park and they gave you something to plant? I want to get one! Gardening sounds like fun!"

"It's hard work, too," Drew told her, clapping his hands together to rid them of dirt. "You have to dig and water and it gets hot and cold and it can be a very demanding hobby." He stood up and brushed off his knees. "And, no, May, I'm not doing this because of some 'go green' plan. I'm doing this because, believe it or not, I enjoy gardening. I can't stand people, but I'm quite good with plants."

"Is your favorite color green?" She teased.

"Actually, it's maroon," He smirked. "Like the roses I give you. I like other flowers though, trees too. For instance, you know how Four Tree City has huge trees?" He asked, extending a hand to help her to her feet.

She eyed it carefully, then took it, allowing him to help her up. She half expected him to drop her, but he didn't, and began to walk. He took it for granted that she would follow. "Yes, I know all about that city."

"One of my ancestors planted one of those four trees," He grinned. "It's one of the best parts of my family tree, and that's not supposed to be a pun." He looked at her for a second, barely meeting her gaze. "My family…we're good at helping things grow, nurture them, well, everything except people."

"What about intangible things?" May asked quietly.

"Like…love?" He said uncertainly. She nodded, a blush staining her cheeks. "Well, I could always give that a shot. I've never tried to grow that, but, I'm sure I can handle the work. I garden, don't I?"

She smiled at him. "And gardening's hard work."

**5. THEME: ****Chocolate**** -Pairing: AAML --Title: Truth or Dare (A/N: Well, dammit, everyone else has one! Why can't I?)**

"Alright, now that we're settled? Truth or dare?" Ash asked, the two of them content with their s'mores and Brock beside them. Though, Brock was snoring in his chair and the two of them were juggling a stick in every hand while the marshmallows roasted. The campfire crackled, the only thing to cast a light, for even Pikachu had long since curled up in Ash's lap to snore and give off no more bright sparks. "And no, you can't choose 'truadare' because I don't know what that is."

She grinned, licking a bit of marshmallow and a majority of chocolate from her lips. "You know, I never would've started playing if you hadn't promised to horde away the Hershey's syrup if I didn't. That was an awfully mean thing of you to do, you know. I need that syrup." She turned a marshmallow, making sure all sides were evenly roasted. "And, as to your question, I dunno. I could choose dare, or I could choose truth. I can't make up my mind. What do you think, Togepi?" She asked, knowing her question fell on unhearing ears. The egg was locked inside its shell and rocking back and forth in sleep. "I guess I'll choose dare."

"I dare you," Ash began excitedly, then trailing off in thought for a moment as he struggled with a good dare. "How about you give me a compliments, and not the backhanded kind. That's just an insult with a bright side, if you ask me."

"You're nice," She shrugged casually, loving the laid-back version of T and D only true friends could play. "You're very nice, insanely nice. You help others without knowing their name and you're always smiling. Now, that could be a strength or a weakness depending on which way you want to look at it. I like to think of it as a strength, since there aren't a lot of hero types like you anymore. So, which way do you want to think of it as?"

"I'll take it as a compliment," Ash beamed. "Quick, pass the chocolate syrup. I've got another marshmallow about ready to eat. I need another graham cracker too. No! It's about to burn!" He blew the marshmallow, making sure it was cool, then ate it whole off the stick. "Never mind, I got it," He said around a mouthful of lightly charred mega-marshmallow. As he chewed, he couldn't help but wonder exactly where Misty had managed to find marshmallows this big.

"Truth or dare?" She sighed, a bit disgusted at his manners and having to see his squished up marshmallow in his mouth.

"Truth," Ash said firmly.

"Why do you always choose the opposite of what I do? No! That's not your question!" She giggled as he opened his mouth to answer. She thought for a moment. "If this is too personal, you don't have to answer." Misty started, then blew on a marshmallow she caught on fire. Half brown, half black, she pulled it off the stick with her teeth. "What happened with your dad? Did he run off or…I'm just wondering because you never mention him and the one time we asked you said he's not around. You don't have to answer if you don't want to. You can always tell me whether or not you think Adele Carlotta is hot."

"She _is _hot, even I can't lie about that, Mist," He laughed. "I don't care if she _was _your best friend in Catholic school and still has no breasts. She's very pretty." Then, he sighed. " You know how secretive grownups are with that stuff. I don't know what happened to my dad. My mom might not either. She says it was a complicated situation, but my dad isn't here right now. She says she'll tell me when I'm older." He shrugged, still downcast. "What about you parents. What's up with them?"

"You didn't ask truth or dare," Misty said quietly. "It's fine. I would've said 'truth' anyway. So, I might as well tell you, but it's your turn next. My mom ran off. Dad said she had a lot of problems, and she just lost it. Too many rounds of postpartum depression drove her up the wall. He said it wasn't anyone's fault but hers. Daddy died of cancer though, later on. At least I got to know him though. You didn't even get to meet your dad."

He sighed and shook his hand, offering her chocolate syrup with his free hand, the other still toasting a marshmallow. "You need this more than I do. After all, I've still got a parent. I've got my mom, and you know how great she is."

"Nuh-uh, you keep it, Ashley. I've got my sisters. We're not real close but…there's something there, I guess. We're still some sort of family." She smiled. "This is getting sad. Let's talk about something else."

"Do you always have to bring the Ashley thing up?" He muttered, blushing. "So I wore a dress, lots of men have. And I just did it to get a badge. It's not like I'm addicted to it now, or anything. I don't know how girls wear dresses. They're hot and uncomfortable and you can feel your legs rub together in that really, really weird way. At least I didn't have to wear heels. That would've been horrible."

"Truth…or dare?" Misty asked, grinning in a wild way that showed she had a good one in mind.

"Dare," he answered, all too easy to predict.

"Sleep in your bathing suit tonight…without your sleeping bag. You're gonna freeze and get bitten so bad!" She giggled. He moaned. Though, on paper (or on screen) this did not seem like such a horrid dare, it was actually one of the worst things a traveler could imagine. It was often cold, windy, and almost enough to make a ten year old cry. Almost. Ash was a little too brave of a boy to cry because of a few bug bites and chill.

"T or D?" Ash sighed, already feeling depressed for the night ahead of him.

"D-d-d-dare," She grinned, already confident that nothing could be worse than the dare _she _dished out.

"I dare you to wear my clothes tomorrow," He laughed. Misty's happy face turned to one of horror. "Yup, _all _day. From when you get up to when we go to sleep. You have to wear my 

clothes, my _boy_ clothes, all day. Don't worry. I'm sure Brock and I won't get too dizzy laughing!"

And he didn't lie. After a few minutes of laughter, mostly because it was _Ash's _clothes she was wearing and not the fact that they were made for a boy, they settled down and both agreed that for some strange reason, boy fitting clothes gave her an almost more attractive figure and adultish appearance. Strangely enough, as they walked through town that day, a few people found it adorable that the 'brother and sister' were wearing matching outfits. Equally, if not more, strangely, a few found it the cutest couple gimmick they'd ever seen, and the girl looked absolutely cute in her boyfriend's clothes.

And though Ash argued just as vehemently at the 'boyfriend' comment, he couldn't bring himself to think any different than anyone else…

What could he say? She looked great in his clothes.

And even better drinking straight from the charity pop-top bottle of Hershey syrup.

**6. Theme: Balcony --Pairing: DAML--Title: Daring**

Drew was, just a little bit, a daredevil. He was well aware that years of growing up in a safe, overprotective environment had backfired in a harsh way. Everything from his confrontational personality to the fact that he was currently walking along the fifteenth story balcony rail, stone and thinner than a balance beam, and he even had the nerve to hop on one foot and tempt fate, gravity, and lady luck all at once.

"Drew," May whispered, terrified anything louder would scare him.

"Yeah?" He called back. His voice was much louder than hers, and she jumped in surprise. "I'm sorry, I hope I didn't scare you. Want to find out if I can do a handstand? I know I can't do a cartwheel, since the balcony is rounded, the rail is pretty round too, but I'm sure if I really try I could do a handstand. I've got a good grip." He laughed a bit at that and turned to face her, his back facing the open night air and deep, dark woods.

"Drew!" She squealed. "Get…get down from there! You're completely insane, do you understand me? You're completely wild! You get off that thing right now or I…I'll…Drew, you're scaring me! It's like you're about to commit suicide. Please get down Drew, please get down before I have a heart attack! I swear, oh Arceus, I'm completely on the verge of crying. Don't make me cry. Oh, my heart is beating so loud!"

"Really?" He laughed. "So what will you do if I try this?" He jumped down, then got back up in a handstand, perfectly balanced on the narrow edge. "How long do you think I can stay like this? If I fall, do you think I'll fall to the inside, or out? Maybe this _is _all a part of a plan to kill myself, and you caught me in the middle of it. Wouldn't that be sad, if you watched me leap off a balcony? On the bright side, it's too dark for you to see my body hit. You might hear the crack of bone though."

"Don't joke about things like that!" She shouted, her face the picture of horror. "Get down! Get down this instant! And be careful when you do!" She raced to his side, careful not to touch him in case that upset his balance in the wrong direction.

"Don't be such a worrier. Watch." And he tipped over the balcony, letting go and careening into the night while May screamed.

It didn't take long for Flygon to catch him and swoop him back up to the same balcony he leapt from, landing lightly and nuzzling her owner merrily. Drew stroked the face as well, smiling at May all the while. "You scream awfully loud, considering that could've been an easy victory at tomorrow's contest, without me around. Besides, you don't really think I would kill myself when I get to beat _you _tomorrow."

"How could you do that? You nearly gave me a heart attack!" She shrieked.

"Flygon was there," Drew laughed. "Well, I thought she was there. She might've been out hunting. Luckily, she came back on time and managed to catch me. But, you've got to risk it all to win it all. Don't you think? In life, in money," He paused and gave an almost tender grin, so unlike the sneers and smirks she was used to. "And it's definitely the same in love. Risk and win. But, maybe I'm not all that risky, just daring."

"And dashing," May felt her lips whisper, the two words always coupled together in her romance movies.

"Thanks," He chuckled. "Goodnight, May."

May was speechless as Drew stalked off, smirking as he went back into the room. He thought he made a very exciting Juliet.

**7. Theme: Child--Pairing: AAML--Title: Immature (A/N: Not that you care, but I've been advised to never drink AMP or soda. I'm bouncy enough without it.)**

"Dora the Explorer own my _soul_," Misty explained to Ash. The two of them sat the wrong way on the sofa, their legs up on the back and their heads draping towards the floor. "She has a freaking talking monkey…and its name is Boots…and it wears boots…red boots…and he has a song about them!" She sighed. "I wish I had a talking monkey in boots. I wouldn't name it Boots though, that just seems redundant."

"Dora deserves Boots, know why? She doesn't hit her friends with mallets or make them dress up like girls. Dora's _nice _to Boots. See, nice girls get singing monkeys in boots. Mean girls get the devil's red hair."

"So's your face."

"First of all, that made no sense. Secondly, that's stupid."

"So's your face."

"You win this round, redheaded ninja," Ash conceded, drinking AMP through a straw on the floor. After downing most of it, he suggested, "Let's watch Naruto and redub the voice. You can be Sakura and the girls and I'll be everyone else but Saskue."

"Why not Saskue?"

"Because I hate that emo bastard. Don't tell me you're a fangirl of Saskue's, I'll die if you are! He's a no good, double crossing, good for nothing, uncaring, son of a sailor, wimpy be-atch who needs a tissue every five minutes and can't get over the fact that he saw his entire family slaughter. Dammit, he's a ninja. This kind of thing happens a lot more often than they make it out to be. It wasn't even all that violent. It was just a sword through their chest! Man!"

"So he's Naruto without a fun-loving dorky side," Misty shrugged.

"Yes, that's true, but it's the fun-loving dorky side that makes him so lovable. Besides, Saskue went with Orochimaru and that guy is obviously a child molester.

"And they're never going to notice we're here?" Ritchie asked, gawking at the two teens on the couch. "There's over thirty people and they'll never notice we're here and stop talking about weird stuff? What'd you do, drug them?"

Brock shook his head, the leader of the group. "Nope, they do this all by themselves. It's a new habit they've picked up whenever they're united. I think it's their way of catching up. But they won't notice unless we touch them or step in front of the TV. They'll be done in about an hour or so, whenever they're hungry. That, or the TV breaks. We'll know if that happens by the screaming that'll echo all around the world."

"One of them gets hungry and then they're back to their back to their normal, arguing selves? That's all it takes? They're practically hypnotized for crying out loud!" Duplica shouted. "Hello! Ash and Misty? Wanna talk? How about a pokemon battle? Free food! There's a bug on your shoulder, Misty! It looks like a stinger! It's about to eat you!" She began to wave her arms in a frantic, anime style, as if the motion would somehow alert the non-seeing Misty to the severity of the situation.

And, nonchalantly, Misty's hand came off the floor to flick away a nonexistent bug, then fell to the ground. "Swiper no swiping! Swiper no swiping! Swiper no swiping! Swiper NO swiping! Yeah…that's what I thought bitch! Crawl back to the hole you crawled out of!"

"So they hear us," Duplica blinked. "Maybe it's subconscious or something?"

"_Wild thang! You make my heart sang! You make everythang…groovy._" The two sang in full out country accents, air guitaring while a commercial played for toys exclusively at Burger King. "_Wild thang…I think I love you. But I WANNA KNOW for sure!"_ And they air guitarred and 'na-naed' the instrumentals while leaping to their feet and bouncing of the sofa until Dora the Explorer resumed once more.

"I'd like to say they're doing that because they're lovesick, but that's the official You've-Been-Punked-By-Ash-And-Misty theme song," Brock sighed. "How long have you two known we were here, listening to your weird chatter?"

"Long enough to find out a _whole _lotta secrets people told when they thought we weren't listening," Misty beamed, the two of them spinning to face the thirty or so people in the room. "So, are you ready Ash?"

"Ready Misty!"

"Cotton candy, waterfall, girl you think you got it all! You don't, I do, so psh! With that attitude!" They laughed, giving a quick kiss at the end.

"Can't you two grow up? We came here for a baby shower!" Gary snapped. "I _thought _that meant you two were _having _kids, not becoming some! You two have always been a pair of losers and always will be! You two need to shape up because I don't think you can handle having kids! You're going to kill them! You two…you two…ugh! You two just stop acting so damned immature and grow up already!"

"_I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R' Us kid, there's a million toys in Toys R' Us that I can play with!"_

"Would you two shut _up_!"

**8. Theme: Victory--Pairing: DAML--Title: Who Do? Budew! (A/N: I should write Pokemon Episode titles.)**

Okay, so now he _knew _she was a nerd, but hadn't he always? May, doing her little victory dance, as nerdy as it was, was cute. Stumbling, tripping, klutzy, uncoordinated were a few good words he would've enjoyed throwing out at her strange dance.

"Oh, can you handle this? No. Nuh-uh. You can't! Yeah, you've just been owned by who? Yeah, that's right, mew! Oh, you _thought _that you would win, but you though wrong! You lost, be-atch! Uh-huh! You got served with country style gravy! I'm going to shake my groove thing! Woo! I totally won! This is so exhilarating!" She stopped for a moment to put a hand to her chest with a smile, then began to dance again.

Max tapped Drew on the shoulder, and the taller boy leaned down to hear what the nerd boy had to say. "My sister's starting to scare me. Do you know how we can shut her up? At least make her stop dancing so I don't have nightmares about that!"

"May, you're terrifying your brother," Drew said, arms crossed and face in a smirk. Unfortunately, May was lost in her 'zone' and was not ready to stop the dance soon, even if it risked having to pay for years of therapy for her younger brother. "Come on, May! I think you've celebrated your superiority over the wild enough. Let's stop the dance, because we all know that this is not one of your stronger points."

"Nope, can't hear you!" May shouted, though the area around them was virtually silent. "I've got to dance for a few hours more. You'll have to wait until I have completely finished my fantastic dance of joy and wonder."

Drew rolled his eyes. "It's not that big of an accomplishment, May. Thousands, millions of pokemon have been caught. It's no big deal, we can stop scaring your brother. There isn't really of victory here, so stop the freaky dance.

She stopped for a moment, realizing that, perhaps she truly didn't have a region for dancing and was instead made a fool in front of her crush and her brother. A more horrifying thing could not be thought of, so she thought long and hard about what she could possibly say to retort this very true and disappointing fact. "Well, yeah, but I caught an uber rare pokemon, so, ha! That is something to celebrate!"

"Never say uber," Drew growled. "Secondly, have you ever been to the Sinnoh region?"

"Lots of times."

"Know what a Budew is?"

"Ugh, those ugly useless things are everywhere."

"Okay, Budew is to Sinnoh as Ratata is to Kanto."

She looked at the pokeball for a moment. "Fudge," She said simply, releasing the useless, ugly thing. Then, her eyes caught a pair of lovedisc flying overhead, coming down to flock around May and Drew before fluttering off.

"Now those-"

"More Budew?"

"No," Drew gaped. "Those are something you could've celebrated over. Weird that they flocked around us."  


May suddenly gasped with newfound delight and pointed somewhere off into the distance. "Look, Budew!"

He sighed and rubbed his temples, "Ratata."

"Same thing!"

**9. Theme: Mad--Pairing: AAML--Title: The Torture of Jim Skylar**

The first thing Misty Waterflower felt she needed to let Ash know was, "I'm naked underneath my clothes." And that was the first thing the camera recorded, along with his crumpled up face as he tried to comprehend exactly what the statement meant.

"You're not wearing any underwear?" He asked.

Misty shook her head with a smile. "Underwear _is _clothing. So, try again. I'm naked underneath my clothes. What do you say to that?" She shifted in her comfy chair, drowning in the endless squishiness of the cushions and waves upon waves of pillows. "I think I'm going to die in this chair. What an embarrassing what to go. Can someone help me out? I think I'm stuck. Yup…mu butt is definitely stuck in this chair."

"I'm naked under my clothes too!" Ash exclaimed, suddenly thrilled at his discovery.

"Hey, Ash, Misty, the camera's rolling," Brock informed off screen, munching cheerfully on the snack in his hand. "Do you really want the world to know what freaks you are? I can barely tolerate the people you've become, imagine what your loyal fans will think once they find out that both of the some of the most respected trainers in the world are spazzes and freaks? Shape up and behave yourselves! Your families are watching!"

"Why don't we get animal crackers?" Misty scowled, pulling herself from the chair and glaring at the handsome host. "Am I going to get animal crackers? I'm the one who agreed to do this interview, I should totally get animal crackers! I almost drowned in a _chair _for goodness sakes! You're lucky I don't sure you for all the pain and suffering I was put threw for almost dying in a freaking chair!"

"Welcome to Trainer's Square, I'm your host, Jim Skylar!" The dashing man, blue eyed and black haired, flashed a smile at the camera; a fake, disturbing smile, but it was still there. "This week, we have two very special trainers joining us. Ash, the youngest master in over a decade and Misty, the gym leader from Cerulean have been friend for over six years! Since so many people have asked us to do an interview with them, we finally agreed to bring them on the show!"

"I'm on the show because I was promised free animal crackers! Brock's eating all _my _animal crackers! Plus, I wasn't exactly _friends _with Ash until I wash eleven. I don't think I'll be friends with you ever. You don't seem friendly. Do you like to hurt people? You have the creepy smile of someone who'll kill me in my sleep. Am I going to wake up to you and your creepy smile and a steak knife hovering over me? Dis_turb_ing!"

The man blinked. "Er, pardon?"

"Well, it's just a thought we've been mulling over. You seem like an angry person to me, is all. You shouldn't keep all those bad feelings behind a fake smile. One day they'll explode and you'll go on a rampage, leaving a mess everywhere. It's like a pudding cup in a microwave. I wouldn't risk it if I were you. You should find some better way to ease stress. Misty and I could spot your off center aura from a mile away," Ash informed, his smile never wavering.

"You could punch Ash. He's a great punching bag! Best stress reliever in the world!"

"I don't know whether that's a compliment or an insult," Ash said. "Hey! I was promise animal crackers too! What kind of scam are you running here? Inviting people with promise of animal crackers than not offering us any! You should be ashamed of it, lying bastard. I hope you're killed by rabid pokemon. Shame, shame on you, foul sinner!" He scowled, then smiled at the camera. "Hi Mom! Sorry for the cussing!"

"Alright, here's a question. Have either of you dated anyone inside your group? Any break up stories or juicy secrets to tell our viewers? We're ready to hear them!" He leaned forward and grinned as if to entice them to answer the question.

"I don't want to discuss my personal life on the air. How would they feel if I asked them that? Awkward, that's how. You can ask us plenty about our careers. We'll answer those questions no problem. Just don't ask us the personal stuff. It's called a juicy _secret _for a reason. We're not sharing our secrets to the general public. You'll have to give us a lot more animal crackers for that, buddy, and they ought to be chocolate covered!"

"Okay," Jim blinked. "I suppose that's…reasonable. Are you sure there's nothing you want to share with us? Something that'll really get the viewers interested? Some secret for the century?" They stared at him. "Right, next question. Ash, Misty, JohnzGurl314159 thinks you make the cutest couple. She was wondering if you'd do something couple-ish on the show. Something cute. Maybe sitting on each other's laps?" Jim winked at Misty.

"Well, alright. I suppose if pi girl wants me too…" She patted her thighs. "Come sit down, Ash. Make yourself comfortable."

He leaped to her chair and plopped on her lap, beaming. "Hello, Santa! I want my very own Mew for Christmas? Can I have one? Can I? Please oh please oh please can I have one! I've been a really good boy. I swear."

Misty's eyes narrowed. "Is that a fat joke? If that's a fat joke, you better say your prayers because you know how I feel about fat jokes. I will hurt you so bad…"

"It's not a fat joke! It's, uh, a joke about my maturity. See? No offense to you! Not today!" He sighed. "I'm disappointed now. I haven't made a fat joke about you in forever. I'll try and work one in today, so you know that I've never forgotten about you. You've always been on my mind, you and the almost frightening way you eat any dessert you see."

"Thank, Ash. There's nothing I love more than people making fat jokes about me. I adore it. It does untold wonders for my self esteem. I'm ready for the next question, anything from a _normal _person asking _normal _questions about our careers? I don't want to have to make out with this guy due to viewer request. It's hard enough with his fat butt squishing me." She glared at both of them, first at Jim, then Ash. "You need to lose some weight."

"Ash Ketchum," Jim began after scrolling through several question cards to find a somewhat 'normal' question. "Do you have any advice for kids who want to be a pokemon master like you? How do you get to this point, and who do you think helped you get here?"

"All my friends, good friends, good pokemon, and never give up. If you have that, there's no stopping you. You just have to try! Anyone can be a master, you just have to have the heart to fight when things look hopeless and win!" He pumped his fists in the air, and did a little dance on Misty lap.

"He's right!" Misty chirped supportively. "I mean, look at Ash! He's not smart or strong or anything like that! His pokemon did all the work and he was just too stubborn to back down forma challenge. If Ash here can do it, anyone can!"

"You're a horrible person, and you hurt me inside," Ash informed her seriously. This statement would only be countered with a glare, after all, the boy was situated on her lap and she had not yet shoved him to the floor. How cruel could she be? "I love you. Please don't hurt me."

"Get off!" She growled, pushing him onto the floor with a grunt. "Next question. And about Ash? He doesn't actually love me. That's his way of attempting to get out of trouble. It never really works, but he's hoping that one day I'll consider him cute enough to let him off the hook. I don't think I ever will."

"Are we done? I want animal crackers!"

"The interview's barely begun!" Jim snapped, throwing his arms in the air. "You can't just walk away! You _weird _kids! I've done hundreds of these with drug addicts, rock stars, and sex maniacs but I've never run into a pair of kids more insulting and _annoying _as you! You're…you're famous, dammit! You should be used to this kind of thing! You should be able to joke about romance and talk about personal stuff and make out in public!"

Misty stared coolly, "Pudding cup."

"Okay, tell me one thing, just one!" He begged, laughing slightly hysterically. "The most wanted question, the one from every single viewer! Did you follow Ash because you had a crush on him? I want to know! Give me that, at least, so my viewers get something out of this interview!"

"Actually, he wrecked and now owes me a bike. Oh, by the way, you said 'had'. You know, 'had' a crush on him? Yeah, wrong verb tense. I'm a stickler for grammar!"

"Hey, Mist, animal crackers!"

"Gotta go! Glad to be here! VH1 and MTV are Devil Channels!" And ran off to find Ash, leaving the music channel host to faint with horror.

Yeah. She went there.

**Mildly inappropriate, references to the 'dirty deed' 10. Theme: Kiss (or Snake)--Pairing: DAML--Title: Shakespearean**

Warm, lovely lips,  
Delicate on mine,  
As we pull away,  
I listen to thine

Words,  
as romantic as poetry,  
Tracing loving fingers  
Over symmetry.

No mask to hide,  
What features grace.  
Gorgeous green,  
Hair like lace.

Sweet love's song,  
Lilting in the moonlight,  
Lover's truer than Juliet,  
And Romeo that fatal night.

And ours is not,  
Fatal or romantic,  
Just normal lovers,  
So frantic.

To feel lips against lips,  
Hands against skin,  
Hot in the cold air,  
Lost in the sin.

Virgin thoughts,  
Tossed along river's side,  
Call me your love,  
Change the tide

Our lives have taken,  
Remorse, I want none.  
Lost in passion,  
Till the risen sun,

Let it grace your features,  
Like my fingers did.  
In the moonlight,  
Where no flesh is hid.

Forever too young to be lovers,  
But the sin I need,  
Be my devil,  
My garden weed,

My wicked snake,  
And through your power,  
Last night you gardener,  
Took my flower.

Sweet, the love we share,  
But bitter is the shame,  
Just like Capulet and Montague  
I cannot keep my name.

Family shall not ever know,  
What sin committed in the dirt,  
But he has taken away my sadness  
Ache and pain and hurt

No more, shall I,  
Those words immortal in my head.  
The words he spoke to me,  
The man I hope to wed.

"My love, My flower,  
I only love you my dear,  
And I give to you,  
The words of Shakespeare.

"I'll follow you  
And make a heaven out of hell  
And I'll die by your hand,  
Which I love so well."

We kissed again,  
Desperate for more,  
And cursing the sun,  
The sun that tore

The love apart,  
For no one can ever see,  
The love we hold so near,  
And the Shakespeare lives we lead.

**11. Theme: New--Pairing: AAML--Title: New Years**

"Yes, they sure are all grown up," Mrs. Ketchum teased the sleeping forms. Just like a couple of toddlers, Ash and Misty had fallen asleep with their heads lolled to their shoulders, sitting straight up, legs folded Indian style. "Let's wake them up so they're not asleep all through New Years. What do you say, Brock?" The charming woman smiled at the teen next to her, who looked rather put out at the idea.

"I say I told them that they shouldn't have eaten all the sugar so early because they had to crash some time. I've got half a mind to leave them there. I don't care if they shout all morning. It'll definitely be worth it."

"Oh, so heartless," Mrs. Ketchum chuckled. She kneeled by her son and shook him lightly. "Ash, Ash honey. Wake up for New Years. Don't you want to play with the noise maker? It's the one time of year where you can be as loud as you want."

"Are there brownies, Brock?" Misty asked drowsily. "I would love some brownies. Mom used t'make brownies every year and my sisters would pretend they ate them all but they always saved me some." She rubbed her eyes and managed to stumble to the couch. She sat down and starred at the TV, waiting for something exciting to happen.

As Ash stumbled after her, Mrs. Ketchum explained, "The first thing you do is your way of kicking off the New Year. Don't breathe, don't speak, but what's the first thing you want to remember as what you did for the New Year?"

Ash attempted to shove Misty out of her seat and sit himself. "Mooooo-ooooove!" To which she smartly responded, "Staaaaah-hooooohp! My spot get your own you…you…get your own…stupid." She punctuated the 'stupid' with a kick to his chest which certainly sounded like the wind was knocked out of him.

"Can't you two behave? Misty, it's not your chair, you two can share. You're small enough still. So, share!" Brock ordered. Grunting and glaring, room was made for the two of them to share. "There we go, now, look, was that really so hard?"

"Yes!" They snapped.

"Here comes the New Year! Eight…seven…six…!" Everyone counted down.

Then, New Year's hit, kisses were given, people did backflips, dances, shouts and giggled, and instantly it was a new beginning, a clean slate. And how did Ash and Misty start the New Year. Curled up and knocked out, close together in the Ketchum's living room and smiling in their sleep.

**12. Theme: Last--Pairing: DAML--Title: Petals**

"He loves me," She sighed, ripping off the rose petals. She wasn't exactly sure why she was doing this, why she allowed herself to rip petal after petal off her perfect flower and let them flutter to the ground. She supposed it was because she knew that it would wilt in a few days anyway, no matter what lengths she went to so she could protect it. It could only live so long on the road, or even in a vase. "He loves me not."

"Hey, May, what are ya-girl moment. Bye!" Ash laughed nervously, walking near her and away even faster.

"Ash, wait! Talk to me!" May whined. She jumped to her feet and ran to him, grabbing his hand and pulling him back to her log. "Please talk to me, Ash. _Please!_ I've got problems and you're nice! I'm sure you could help me through! You know how to make people better, don't you? You're kind and compassionate, and…why are you looking at me like I'm going to kill you?" She stared up at his horrified face.

"I don't really know how to make people feel better. Er, I'm usually the one who's crying. So…uh…I guess I'll try to do what other people do and, er, tell me, what your problem is." He sat down heavily on the log, Pikachu sitting on his shoulder with her lips upturned in an odd little smile. She couldn't wait to see her owners lovely, lovely attempt to help May. It would, inevitably, fail, but she thought it would be amusing.

"I think I like Drew."

"Oh, please let me leave!" Ash whimpered.

"No, Ash!" She said, far from a commanding voice but almost a forceful whimper, "You're going to sit here and you're going to listen to me and you're going to love every single word I say, do you know why? Because we're friends, Ash, and as friends we should be able to sit down and talk about anything in the whole wide world! So, Ash, sit down and listen to me talk about how much I love Drew." She grinned. "Please?"

"Well…try not to get to girly about it, will you?" He asked hopefully. "Remember, I'm still a man, even if you did make me dress up as a girl. I don't want to hear how handsome Drew is or anything about how manly he is…'cuz I like girls! I don't want to hear about guys 'cuz I like girls. I'll talk about girls though…because I totally like girls!" Obviously, this was a topic that had been touched many a time before, and it made Ash weary to talk about it.

"I just want to know, since you're a guy and all, uh, do you think that maybe…Drew likes me?" She asked hopefully. Her face was stained in a blush. "You won't make fun of me! You're nice! You never make fun of people for having crushes, right?

"Uh…no?" He lied, laughing nervously again and throwing her a smile that was more baring her teeth than anything.

"Ash!" She moaned, throwing her head back with a whine. "Why are you so intolerable? Please don't make any jokes about me while you're listening. I know it's an awfully girly topic, and you don't really like talking about stuff like that, but I need you to, just this once. You don't 

even really have to listen! You can just sit there and nod your head and pretend you care even though you're actually thinking about battle strategies."

Ash nodded his head.

"Okay, great. Now, here's my problem. I really like Drew, I mean, I _really _like the guy. I have a huge crush on him. Why? I don't know. I just…I really like him. Everything about him is just so wonderful. His hair and his eyes, wow. They're beautiful…" And she went off to lament while Ahs stared into space and tried desperately to remember. Which had the type trump: Dark or Psychic? Dark or Psychic? Dark or Ghost? "And…you know what, I think I'll have better luck with the rose."

And she began to snatch at the petals, one by one until every petal cascaded to the ground but one. That last petal. But, before she could pull it, Ash shouted something about 'darn you, type trumps' and gave her a twenty minutes of deep discussion on why type trumps were so difficult, and he wasn't stupid, some things were just hard to get, and by the time she finally looked back at the rose, she had forgotten exactly what she was on.

So, she stared at the last petal, and cast the rose over her shoulder.

Damned rose.

**13. Theme: Fall--Pairing: AAML--Title: F-F-F-Falling (A/N: Anyone get this reference?)**

In all her years with Ash, Misty had never, ever, truly felt scared. There was never any reason too. The threat was never completely on her; perhaps on Brock, on Pikachu, on anyone else but her. Even no, she knew that no villain was after her, no person ready to shoot her in the head and laugh wildly as she plunged into the sea and her friends screamed in horror, shock, and torture at their friend dying in a sad, but heroic way.

No, of course not. Misty, on the brink of tears, had gone after psyduck and wound up on a ledge of rock. For twenty minutes, she'd been there, trying to figure out a way to get back up without sliding from the rock's crooked angle. The sea, wild and angry, churned over the rocks below, tossing up a wild white spray she was too far up to feel. She wasn't even sure if anyone knew she was out, not likely, not a lot of people knew her here, even after the 'three orb' incident, and even fewer cared. People must've thought she was crazy to go out in a storm like this.

But how could she have helped it? Psyduck had run off on her! She couldn't just let the poor creature die! She had to save it. He was hers, and whether she would admit it or not she did have a soft spot for the duck that, yes, did not have the ability, but always had the _desire_ to help. He was the only creature she had ever met that reminded her of Ash, another person she had a soft spot for whether or not she wanted to admit it.

Now…Now she was stuck in the edge off a cliff, about to tumble to her doom. Even with her backpack chucked over the top of the cliff, her weight still seemed to make the small ledge under her groan and release a bitter earth scent in the air. She wiped her eyes, tears beginning to spill. Arceus, this was a terrible way to go. Why wasn't there ever a heroic way for her to die? Mew, she'd be so content to go in any of the ways Ash had almost gone!

She gave a tearful screech as the jutted out stone wretched down again, leaving her at an angle almost impossible to cling to. It was at this point she screamed, a loud, tearful scream. "Somebody help me!" One hand wiped her face again and tried to hide the tears, but as she began to slip she had to clutch the rock again, with both hands. She screamed again, louder than before. "Somebody! Anybody! Help!" She began to cry, clenching onto the rock harder. 

No possible hope if she fell, she'd probably be dead from a heart attack before her body was bludgeoned by the stones below.

She sounded horrible when she cried, one of the reasons she never did. Whereas most had quiet, shaking sobs, hers were always as loud as she was when angry, more screams and tears than crying. She let out another screaming sob as the rock shifted again, toppling down to an almost vertical angle. She screamed then, a high, girlish scream that must've carried all the way across the water to the small village.

And then she cried. For ten minutes, she cried, clutching onto her rock for dear life. The rain began to fall two minutes in to her waiting, each drop like an icy pinprick on her skin. It was harder to hold onto the rock and her skin slid against the slicker surface. Each new shift made muscles ache. Each new sobs, sobs she couldn't stop, were starting to make her lungs ache, and certainly wasn't helping her keep on her strength to cling on.

Then something wrapped around her waist, yanking her up sharply and slamming her into the softer dirt above. Her tears muffled almost instantly, knowing she was on good, safe, ground. Her bag was thrust into her arms, the two boys, _her _boys, brought their arms around her and hugged her tight. The heavy scent of sweat from Ash and the light cologne from Tracey she'd grown used to filled her nose and soothed her further, her tears becoming nothing but gasps and water sliding down her cheeks.

"Misty, oh, Mew. Misty, are you alright?" Ash's voice, shaking and worried in her ear, was definitely on her left. His arms were tighter than Tracey's, she noticed, and he was trembling. She wondered, was it from fear or the cold that made him shake? "What were you doing out here? Misty, oh, _damn_ it! What were you doing? You're always yelling at me to stay out of danger and look what you went and did! _Damn _it!"

"You don't swear," She whispered, looking up into his face, then looking into Tracey's. She smiled, looking back and forth as quickly as she could to reassure them. Unashamed around her boys, she laughed, "I'm alright. No damage. My butt's probably bruised, but others than that I should be fine. You don't need to worry so much. You pulled me out on time and that's all that mattered. Somehow, I think I knew it was too easy to end it like that."

"I'll go call somebody. We'll get the boat a little later. I'm sure they won't mind once we tell them what happened." Tracey suggested, turning his back on the two and trotting a few feet away to pull out his pokenav.

Meanwhile, Ash had been spluttering until words finally righted themselves in his head. "It _is _something to worry about!" He shouted. "You almost _died _and…you could've died! It's just…it's not the same when I'm going off to save someone as when you…when you just fling yourself off a cliff for no good reason."

"I was after psyduck," She murmured, somehow feeling guilty. "The cliff…it crumbled under my weight and there wasn't anything I could do about it. Honestly, Ash, I don't know why you panic. I'm sure something unexplainably good would've happened, and you're a hero! You'll always be there to save anyone when they fall. Whether I'm falling off a cliff or getting terrorized by Team Rocket, Super Ash will be there to save the day." She giggled and shook her head. "I'm fine, Ash. I'm as right as the rain."

"Yeah but I…" He gawked at her. "I could've _lost _you, I could've…" He paused, eyes flashing to Tracey's back then to the girl he was still hugging closely. Then he pulled her forward and pressed her cold, tears stained lips to his. He held them there, just for a moment, his lips trembling harshly under hers until he pulled back and wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry…It's just…with you and…I didn't know what to do. I'm just so confused. Everything feels _weird _and _bad _and I needed something nice to happen. There's always some kind of good thing at the end and I…I'm sorry. guess I wasn't thinking again."

"I know what you mean and, if it makes you feel any better…" She held his eyes for a moment, trying not to blush and knowing she was failing. "I…I needed that something nice too. Thanks for catching me."

"Okay you two, if everything's alright, can we head back to the boat?"

**14. Theme: Wall--Pairing: DAML--Title: False Paradise**

He was a wall. The constantly growing barrier he was so keen on building…To every advance she made, he added another layer of brick. But, if nothing else could be said about his strange manner, he was made a very nice wall, and was perhaps the only person who could ever pull it off so well. That barricade of smirks, roses, and taunting, that wall that guarded something she could only catch a glimpse of when the night fell, guards slept and she had to be quiet and still for earning the privilege of staring at the shiny city within.

She was a mountain climber now. Though she once crowded timidly at the city gates with all the others, gawking at the bustling city within, the exciting city that he himself had put up. It was a distraction, she knew. He hoped people would see the exciting and stray away from the dull brick that hid the real secrets.

But she knew better.

Inside the brick wall was a place greener than anywhere else in the world. It was not Emerald City green, but grass and trees and flowers and everything that was good and pure in the world. And he was there, of course, it _was _his city. He was always smiling there because he was, at heart, a very happy boy; one who had learned the hard way that nice boys got nowhere in life, got nothing, and failed.

But, she could wait, wait for the day he invited her in and she could play with him in the beautiful meadow he'd been born to be. Why? Because good things couldn't be forced into, stolen, or even eavesdropped on for too long before it would be ruined or hidden forever. Only people who had _proved _they wanted to preserve it, to keep it safe would be allowed to enter while the nest of buzzing bees swarmed outside, forever dying to get in to the false paradise.

After all, the wall was there for a reason.

**15. Theme: Mask--Pairing: AAML--Title: Masks**

She ran her fingers over the mask she'd be wearing for the rest of the night. Black mask, black dress, black shoes and stockings, it was almost as if she was in some kind of mourning stage before the funeral that would never come. Over what, she couldn't be sure, but it was unmistakable as she pulled the elastic behind her head and the plastic over her eyes, those two blue-green circles that screamed in the mirror. They begged for something to return from the dead, something she wasn't sure of. The black form the center seemed bigger than normal, engulfing too much color, but even that seemed to match the gothic theme she'd been going on about. Hair, red and wonderfully unchanged through the long years, did seem to lose its luster and hang lifelessly about her face.

"Misty?" Brock asked quietly. The older boy stood tall and handsome in his tux, any trace of child-like roundness had faded over time, giving him a sharp, chiseled face. Every feature was rock hard and seemed to be set in a stern line, but somehow the loving nature could fight through and soften the rigid lines, just like now. A heavy hand lingered on her shoulder. "Don't you think we should head down to the party? I know how much you hate them, but you 

know it's require we show up, since we're gym leaders and all. I'll…I'll try and get you to have a good time."

She was silent, hands dangling uselessly at her sides, body rigid, staring at the mirror. "What am I mourning, Brock? Had someone died, and I can't remember because of the shock? Am I blocking some horror of horrors out? That's the only reason for so much black, isn't it? That's the reason for the...missing emotions."

"No one I know," He shook his head, letting the hand fall. "You've been like this for I don't know how long. I don't know why you're…why you are the way you are, but I can say that you've starting talking in your sleep." He hesitated, fear of her reaction obvious. "When you're tossing and turning…you talk about him."

She blinked her sleepy eyes. "My father," She concluded from her reeling thoughts.

He corrected quietly, "Ash."

The name hit her stomach, forcing a grunt form the back of her throat. Her body began to ache at the thought. _Ash…_She swayed for a moment, dizzy, trying to raise heavy hands to grasp the vanity, but not able to twitch a muscle. Eventually, the swaying stopped and all that was left to show her mild panic attack was shallow breaths and too wide eyes, which blinked too quickly.

"Ash," She repeated. It had been forever since she head that name, but, come to think of it, she _had _been having dreams about the light brown eyes and ink colored locks. "He…he's not dead, is he? Ash can't be dead. I wouldn't have forgotten about that. That would be on the news. He would have his own day to celebrate, a holiday. It would probably be on his birthday." Her eyes widened at her, the whites that would have surely been seen hidden behind her mask. Today's not-?"

"No, Misty. He's not dead. He's perfectly fine. He's better than fine. He's always on the news, youngest master in three centuries. I think that's why you stopped watching TV. I…I wish I could sympathize but I don't know if I ever can. You…" He sighed and wished her could play with his hair, his hand going halfway before falling, knowing it was slicked back with gel. "You really love the guy. I think that's why it hit you so hard."

"I _don't _like him," She growled, her gram still but for her moving lips and angry eyes. "I _never _liked him. We were _friends_, Brock, always _friends_ and always _best _friends. We weren't ever anything more and you know it! Don't you think it's time you let it go? I haven't seen him in _five _years! I'm nineteen and I have grown out of this _stupid _way of letting everyone assume _everything _about my love life!" Her tone quieted. "We were friends."

"But you didn't want to be, did you?" Brock confronted. He went to the door and locked it. "No, of course not. You wanted to be more, didn't you? You _wanted _more than friendship from him! But, you were too scared to tell him because he never looked like he felt the same way! Coward!"

She stared at him, using her mirror, eyes wide again but face still flat. "Brock…open the door. We…we can go down to the party and I'll try to have a good time. Let's not do anything we'll regret. You…you're awfully stressed and you know you would never normally use your fists. You'll wake up tomorrow with guilt if you do."

Brock's hands were indeed clenched tightly at his side, and he laughed. "Fists? I wouldn't hit you. That wouldn't _get through _to you! But words, those are more terrifying than anything tangible. But, that's perfect, isn't it? An intangible hammer to crush you intangible mask. It's 

just the thing. I can't wait to smash that mask you've been wearing _long _before this party! Hiding everything you ever felt for him and everyone else."

"Stop it, Brock!" She barked.

"No! You can't order me around anymore than I can order you! You're right, we're _not _kids anymore but you still haven't grown up! You're too scared to let yourself open up, and you're hiding behind that blank mask to keep from being hurt! No armor can withstand everything, and you know what will break yours? You love him and he loves you!" She flinched twice, the mention of love making her shudder. "You know _you _do, at least. Tell me what you love about him. Come on, I'm comfortable enough in my own sexuality to hear it! I have plenty of little sisters of my own, you know."

"I don't. Know what. You're talking about," Her words were punctuated with teeth clenching tighter and tighter.

"Oh, look, the first mask is already starting to shatter. That last one you put on, the indifference. I see a little of that hot tempered red head coming through. So, where's the rest of it? Where's the crazy little girl who would go to practically any lengths to get her crush to dance with her? Lemme see the redhead who only cried when she was worried about Ash! It's just so cute, to see little kids love like that!"

"Shut. Up," She snarled. Blood poured into her face with anger and embarrassment, staining it a dark red. "I am _not _that little girl anymore, and I didn't have a crush on him then and I don't have a crush on him know!"

"Really? That's not what your cheeks are saying. I'll tell you, I have never seen a person who blushes as badly as you. You know what'll make you blush more? All those times you saw Ash in nothing but his boxers. You covered your eyes, but I'll bet you anything that you _wanted _to look."

Rational Misty would have retorted that it was childish curiosity, but that mask had dropped off and left only an angry, embarrassed girl who had no rationality left to give. "Stop it, Brock! I wasn't looking! I don't care what he looks like! You're being stupid! Just, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it!" She was screaming, angry, embarrassed tears filling her eyes.

He continued, grinning as if happy to be embarrassing her so badly. His voice came out, a slight barking laugh tone in his voice. "So now that you're all grown up, do you have grown up dreams about him? So _that's _why you talk about him in your sleep! Aw, isn't it cute, that you still love him after all this time? I bet you lust after him too. I'd love to see what goes on in your imagination."

"Stop it!"

"Why? Because you can't hear the truth? That's too bad. I'm going to keep telling it. No more lies, Misty. No more masks. Nine years is too long to keep a secret!" He grabbed her shoulders, not hard enough to hurt, but strong enough to keep her in place despite her squirms and shouts. "Stop it! Stop hiding from it! Stop fighting me and tell me the truth! After all this time, you owe someone some honestly! It might as well be the only person who's going to sit through one of your childish tantrums! You cann_ot _scream and kick and cry until you get your way! _Grow. Up._" Her writhing grew weaker, the outraged screams diminishing to whimpers, and he continued his voice low and brotherly. "Your sister may put up with your shit, but I won't anymore, and never again. I want the truth, the one you've hid from everybody _and _yourself."

She stared for a moment. Then her hands came up slowly and took off the mask, wiping her streaming eyes. "I…I miss him!" She gasped. She threw herself into his arms and began to sob. "And I want him. I want him to love me, and hold me, and kiss me. It…it hurts because I know he doesn't love me, and even if he did Id be so scared that…that he'd realize what a _stupid _choice by choosing me that he'd break up with me or be unhappy just to make me happy. I'm not good enough for him. I'm not strong or smart or brave or pretty or any of the things he needs in a girlfriend. He needs Tomb Raider's Laura Croft, and I don't even have boobs like she does!"

She cried into him for a while longer, letting go of baggage that she never thought she would release.

And Brock soothed her, leaving her side for only a moment to throw the mask into the crackling flame, because all demons, whether they were inner or tangible, deserved to be burned.

**16. Theme: Soliloquy--Pairing: DAML--Title: Can You Handle This?**

"Does the fair lady often talk to herself?" Drew inquired with a superior air.

Ash grinned. "More than I do. And, listen, I told May I'd talk to you but I'm not too good with words. Do what everyone else does: keep it short, simple, and straight to the point. If you don't, I'm just going to start thinking about battle strategies and pokemon and pretending it's just me, Misty, and Brock again. Man, how I miss those good times. I loved those pranks."

"Ash, does May talk to herself?"

"Yup," Ash grinned again, snapping out of his reverie. "You don't have to be so bossy. If you want to know anything you can probably sneak up behind her and listen. She talks about you a lot, if that's what you're after. I don't know why you're so eager on hiding it. I know she liked you and you like her. You should tell her. It's very crucial that you let things out. If not, they'll bubble and boil and expand and eventually explode. Like a pudding cup in the microwave, except you explode emotions instead of chocolaty goodness."

"Excuse me?"

"You know what else you can't put in a microwave? Tinfoil. You can't put that in a microwave or it starts a fire and Nurse Joy makes you leave the pokemon center. You can't put plain cheese in the microwave either. It just bubbles and gets hard and chewy and nasty tasting. The microwave is not a good machine. They should've worked all the bugs out of it before they started selling it, don't you think?"

"I have a serious problem here, a problem involving my love life, and you're ranting about microwaves? Are you completely retarded? People told me you _saved _the _world_! I thought you'd be smarter than this and…more focused, more intelligent."

"Yeah. I saved the world. Fun the first few times, but it's starting to get annoying. As for retarded, your girlfriend tried to breathe underwater! That's like something I would do." He shook his head with a giggle and corrected, "have done. You know, you'd figure that would be something easy to remember, but then you see some really cool stuff and you can't stop yourself form gasping. I swear, water is nothing but trouble. Half my 'deaths' have been from water. Have you died before? Going feels like nothing, coming back it _weird. _It's kinda tingly too. I sorta like the tingly feeling. I think it's worth dying to feel that tingly feeling all over again."

Drew's eyes rolled to the ceiling of the diner as the older boy prattled on and on about random things that Drew, honestly, didn't care about. There _was _a story or two that was pretty interesting, and he wanted to express his perked interest, but it only took a few minutes for him to realize that Ash wasn't doing this to entertain Drew, but to entertain himself, and it was _really _starting to get on his nerves.

Then, miracle of all miracles, he stopped. "Now, replace everything I just said with shopping, coordinating, fashion and one or two, OHMIGAWD, and _that _is an ordinary conversation with May. Are you ready to handle it?"

Drew shook his head. "No."

"And, that, my good man, is why it'll be a long while before you're ready to date May. The soliloquy." He then began to cram a burger and fries into his mouth faster than the diner owner could say 'cha-ching'.

"You will never be this helpful again, will you?" Drew gawked. "One inspirational speech per person, free of charge. Good friends have possibility of multiple speeches, best friends are guaranteed multiple speeches, and friends of friend will get one." The boy licked some ketchup from his thumb and took a long swing of his AMP energy drink. "I'm not allowed to drink AMP. She said it makes me act like an animal," He stated.

Drew ran his hand through perfect locks. "Who's she?"

"Oh, no, I'm sorry. I meant my mom," Ash laughed. "I was talking to myself."

**17. Theme: Stupidity--Pairing: AAML--Title: Belts, Pudding, and Boredom**

"Can I try on your belt?" Misty asked. Alone in Ash's house, watching rerun after rerun of Gilligan's Island (which, sadly, they could both recite the theme song of in not only English but Spanish as well), the two were bored. There weren't _just _bored, either. They were bored like, there's-nothing-on-TV-we-can't-caook-Ash-has-no-board-grames-my-game-station-broke-put-a-gun-to-my-hand-and-pull-the-trigger-hard-_please _kind of bored, which is very bored indeed. And, as everyone knows, boredom brings nothing but bad luck and bad ideas, such as trying on Ash Ketchum's pokebelt and putting a pudding cup in the microwave. "If I can't do that, can we put a pudding up in the microwave? Everyone always says we shouldn't, but I always get hit when I ask why. What do you think will happen?"

"Apocolypto?" Ash suggested with a shrug. "I've got loads of pudding cups. They're double chocolate, dark and milk. I think pudding would taste pretty good all warmed up. I think I have a pudding craving."

He grinned at her, she grinned at him; and then both were rummaging through the refrigerator with hands touching just a little too often to be coincidental. A pudding cup was forced from its brethren (a real tear jerker of a story, look for it under the title 'Separated and Tortured: A Tale of Hope') and tossed into the microwave. Buttons were pressed, beeps were heard and the pudding cup began to spring around on its torture tray of destruction. After a few lovely minutes of that, the merry pudding cup explode chocolate delight all over the microwave, steaming and wonderful smelling.

Ash and Misty gawked for a minute, then screamed with bliss. Their arms fling around each and the jumped up and down with unbridled wonder and joy. Now, as you observe, there was a absolutely fantastic cure for boredom. So, each time a cup exploded, the pudding was scooped into a bowl, the microwave clean and a new pudding cup was place inside until all had vanished.  


"Totally worth the yelling we're gonna get," Misty assured, licking her fingers clean of pudding with a happy squeal.

"What's all that about?" Ash snorted.

"What's all what about?"

"This!" Ash laughed. He raised his hands in his most seductive manner, then began slowly sucking his fingers clean, with exaggerated pleasure and closed eyes. Misty could tolerate this until he began to give loud moans.

"Hey, I was _not _doing that. Besides, you did it all wrong! If I was attempting to seduce you, because we both know how often I attempt to seduce men, I would do something more like this." She dipped her finger into the hot pudding, and ever so slowly licked her fingers with half close eyes. Batting her eyes at him in a manner she had learned from her sisters, she slowly and deliberately backed every last bit of chocolate off her finger. In a sensual voice (proud of herself for not laughing at all) she whispered, "Does that make you hot? Does it turn you-" And her composure vanished, and she burst out laughing at the boy's face: slightly freaked out with a lustful gleam in his eyes that informed, yes, he was _quite _turned on at her seductive ways.

"Okay. Now, give me your belt."

"No!" He shouted too loudly and then, as if to make amends, he quieted. "It's my belt."

"Give it or I'll take it," She warned, a mischievous grin lighting in her eyes. The boy shook his head, and was pelted with globs of pudding hurled at him, splattering all over the floor. He continued the fight by beginning to hurl it back at her. This soon turned into a shrieking, giggling wrestling match that was _much _too slick due to all the chocolaty lubricant they were rolling in.

Soon, Misty had Ash pinned to the floor, straddling his waist and wrestling the belt off. "Misty," He said in between giggles. "It's my belt. You can't pin me to the floor and take it. It's _wrong,_ sexually and morally. Imagine if someone comes in and sees us like this! We'll get in so much trouble."

"You're the only boy I know who still giggles at fifteen," She rolled her eyes. "It's not anything sexual, at least you don't seem to think so. Here I am, a girl your age, sitting on you and not a single response from _any _part of you. Makes a girl feel depressed. _Unless _that's what all the giggling is about?" Despite the even, careless tone, her face was painted a lovely pink as she continued to fiddle with the belt.

"I don't know why I'm giggling," Ash shrugged, the boyish sound still bubbling from his throat. "If I take the belt off myself, will you get off, please? I'll give it to you. Not to keep, Misty, but you can have it for a while."

She leaned back and allowed him to unclip the belt then hand it to her. She jumped off and clipped it around her own waist, then, as if to show off her trophy, she yanked the belt, _hard, _and it made a strange clicking noise. "What that?" She asked, not seeming to came that her sentence lacked a verb.

Ash blew from a pouting lower lip, causing his loosened bangs to flutter around his face. "_That_, Misty, was the safety lock equipped on every trainer's belt. This is activated by a sharp bank to the belt. The belt locks itself on you and locks all the pokeballs in place and you have to hit 

all these weird buttons to get it to unlock. You've seen me do this enough that you know how to get it off, right?"

She stared at him blankly. How could she say, 'I never cared enough to look, duh,' in a way that didn't sound so harsh? Oh! She knew! "I never cared enough to look." She restrained herself from shouting 'duh' after it, and decided that, yes, it did sound much sweeter without the duh. She was satisfied. "So, explain it to me. Is there some big red button on the back that I press? Do I hold it and pull it apart? That's how a lot of safety's work. It's not too elaborate, is it?"

"Er, actually…" Ash trailed off nervously. He scratched the back of his neck, blushing. "It's pretty complicated. There's nine buttons on the back and you have to press a few of them in a certain way."

"What way?" Misty said, still cheerful. What was the point of being angry? Soon, the belt would be off and she and Ash could watch something interesting on YouTube. She looked at the back of the belt buckle and giggled. "I see them. I wonder how I never noticed them before."

Ash shrugged and suggested, "You didn't care?"

The girl nodded enthusiastically. "That would do it. So, how do I get it off?"

"See, that's the problem. I can do it, I just can't explain it…at all. Come here, I'll try to get it off." He took a step forward, to which she politely took ten steps back. "Misty, you can't guess the combination! You have to use all nine! It'll take forever! Just…come here so I can pull it off of you."

"No! I can do it!" She whined, turning to the belt. She twisted away from her, displaying her back proudly to the obnoxious boy and marched to the living room, her hands still working at the buttons.

He sighed, and snuck up behind her, waiting until he was a couple inches behind to snap his arms around her tightly and pull her close. He chin rested on her shoulder, the two almost the same height )though Misty still rejoice at being taller). She squealed loudly and tried to fidget away but to no luck. He had the angle advantage and it was all in vain. "Would you stop? Man, I can't see the fudging belt if you move around so much! The less you move the sooner it'll be over."

"No! You let go of me you crazy rapist boy! I can do it myself, I'll figure it out and I have never been one to give up without a-hey!" She gave another girlish squeal as she was tackled onto the sofa, much in the position Ash was in a few minutes before.

"Why are you laughing?" He teased. "Does this turn you on?"

"It's awkward," She said, her hands trying to quiet the giggles. "I think we laugh when it gets too awkward or when we're nervous."

"That explains the corny jokes."

"What the fuh…!" Brock gasped, dropping the groceries to the floor. "When I said you two should get together, I didn't mean like _this!_ What is wrong with you kids? You're starting younger and younger!"

"It's not what it looks like!" Ash shouted, while Misty could only giggle. He turned to glare at the girl beneath him. "You know, you're not really helping our situation by laughing. In fact, you're probably making it worse. Can you help me out here?"

"Don't worry, Brock," She giggled. "We wouldn't do this. What kind of kids do you take us for? Ash hasn't even bought me dinner in forever, how disappointing is that? He'd have to buy me a lot of stuff if he wanted me to put out with him. I mean, there's not even any good music and we ran out of condoms last week. I'm just happy because we do a lot of other things that are just about as good as what you're thinking of. I bet Ash could give you some pointers, he really knows what he's doing when we get down and dirty,"

'"Don't listen to her! She laughs when she's nervous or something! I was just trying to get the stupid belt off. Wait! That's not what I meant! Well, it is what I meant but it's not what it sounds like and…uh…" He sighed. "Fuck."

And Misty, still helpless with giggles, scolded, "Stupid boy."

**18. Theme: Sing--Pairing: DAML--Title: Dulcinea (A/N: Fantastic show, by the way. Go see it or read the script or something…)**

"Could you quit that yowling?" Drew moaned, covering his ears. "It pains me for the name of music to be defiled in such a way! I'm going to take your MP3 and throw it against a brick wall over and over and over again because it, not you, deserves to be punished for allowing such a horrible thing to happen. So, stop singing or I _will _confiscate that device that has been forced to pay that disgusting noise you call music."

"I'm a great singer!" May objected.

"I never for a moment suggested you weren't," Drew rolled his eyes. "I think you sing quite well, you have a beautiful voice for soft, slow songs. I think it's wonderful that you make a practice to sing and that you do a fantastic job of it. What I was referring to was your horrible taste in music. All I have ever found on your iPod is pop and rock and all that modern disgusting…" He shook his head. "You don't have a single song from before the turn of the century. Well, a few boybands, but that isn't really music. It's sickening. I suppose, if pressured, I'd admit there's nothing wrong with what you are listening to, but have you never listened to anything fine in your life?"

She cocked her head at him for a moment. "You mean, like…something from the nineties? I've got stuff from the nineties that aren't boybands! I've got plenty! Look, they even have an automatic 90s music playlists on here!" She pulled the iPod from her fanny pack and began to scroll furiously through her three hundred and forty five songs and seventy two videos and click into her 90s playlist.

"I was thinking a bit before that," He rolled his eyes. "How about some kind of play or opera? _The Phantom of the Opera,_ Cats has some good music, though I doubt you'd ever be able to sit through the play, but, damn it, even _The Man of La Mancha _would be great! Have you ever even been to a play before?" His eyes narrowed as if this was the greatest sin ever known, and May squirmed.

"Er, well, I think they took us to a play when I was in grade school. I don't remember it much. Oh! I saw my cousin's high school play! They did _Peter Pan_! It was so sweet. I love it. I went right home after and saw the movie!" She squealed.

Drew was not as excited. "That does _not _count."

"So…when's _The Man of La Mancha _from?"

"1965," He said, his glare never wavering.

"You weren't even alive then!" Her wide eyed reaction was more than enough to make him want to strangle the girl. "Well, you weren't! I mean, you're not that old. You're the same age as I am, aren't you?"

"I'm two months older than you. _Exactly _two months," Drew growled. "And, _no,_ May, I was not alive when the play came out. It made a second round in the two thousands, if that's any consolation. It can be modern, if you want it to be. I'm surprised a romantic like you hasn't been swooning over it."

"It's like _Romeo and Juliet_!" She clapped her hands merrily.

"_No_. It's _not anything _like that short and simple story of lust. Don't ever mention that dis_gusting _play in my presence." He glared. "It's a wonderful story, and it has wonderful music. You should see the play sometime. Or, you could even read the book. I have, it's a great story."

She shrugged. "Nah. I'm not into reading, really. I don't really like showtunes either."

"It's not what you're used to. Today's plays have a modern spin on it. The older ones are slower…more romantic in a sense." Drew explained. "Today's music…there's scarcely a song I'd actually call romantic. They're all…silly words of nothing. They're break up songs and relationship and sex songs, but they aren't love songs."

"Yes they are," May snorted.

Suddenly, her hand was in Drew's, and he was smiling. "Sweet lady, fair virgin…" He cast his eyes to the floor of the all but deserted pokemon center, getting Nurse Joy's attention. This seemed vaguely familiar. "I dare not gaze full upon thy countenance, Lest I be blinded by beauty. But I implore thee, speak once thy name."

May stared at him for a minute. "But you know my name…It's…Drew?" The boy had dropped her hand, but continued to stare down at the floor. "Drew! You know my name! You can't have forgotten! Drew, I…" She sighed. "It's May."

"My lady jests!" He exclaimed, his eyes not leaving the floor.

"No…it really is May." She was getting awfully weirded out by the green haired boy by now. She hoped his strange behavior would pass, preferably soon. His 'my lady'-ing was getting to be very unsettling.

"The name of a kitchen-scullion…or perhaps my lady's serving-maid?"

"Are you calling me a maid?" May growled. "You better not be!"

Drew continued to grin, his head still bowed. "Did my lady think to put me to a test? Ah, sweet sovereign of my captive heart. I shall not fail thee, for I know…" And then, the green haired boy did the unthinkable. In the almost empty pokemon center (except for Nurse Joy, who was swooning with the romantic nature of the boy who quoted from classical plays), Drew began to sing to her.

"_I have dreamed thee too long, Never seen thee or touched thee. But known thee with all of my heart. Half a prayer, half a song, Thou hast always been with me, Though we have been _

_always apart. Dulcinea! Dulcinea! I see heaven when I see thee, Dulcinea! And thy name is like a prayer an angel whispers, Dulcinea…Dulcinea!_" His voice, a little high for the song (causing him to leap up an octave that it should normally be sung) was sweet and slow, just as he described. And the verses rolled on, each one more romantic than the last. He ended the song with a long hold on Dulcinea, that faded out quietly.

She stared, waiting for breath that would not come. "That was…nice, I guess. I still say I've heard songs plenty more romantic. It's too old fashioned. Nobody actually says that kind of stuff or believes in it. Chivalry is stupid."

He grinned. "Oh, come on. I can think of _two _men you traveled with that are pretty chivalrous. And, I can promise you this, one of them definitely believes in that romantic nonsense." He raised her hand to his face, kneeled before her, and kissed it quietly. "Goodnight, Dulcinea."

**19. Theme: Stop--Pairing: AAML--Title: Stop**

Two hands gripped either shoulder, for once not painfully, and stopped Ash in the middle of his path. He looked around quickly, just to make sure there weren't any walls he was about to walk into. This had happened many a time, and he had been wrong in screaming at her for making him stop when, in fact, she had been right all along. However, he was not about to walk into anything this time, and determined that, yes, he could yell at her now. It almost came with a strange rush of pleasure.

"Stop," She whispered.

"What now?" He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're not going to do something else all moody and girly. Misty I…I thought we made up! You're not gonna hit me, are you, Mist? Please don't tell me you're going to hit me! Wait…why are you rolling your eyes? I haven't done anything stupid yet!"

She snorted, "Yet. Even you know you'll do something sooner or later. Ash, listen closely, what do you hear?"

The boy cocked his head listening closely. "I don't hear anything."

"Wrong," She shook her head with a grin. "You hear pokemon, bugs, birds and the wind and you can feel it and you can feel the sun and just feel the peace of everything. Whenever things get wild and crazy and you just can't take it anymore, you need to stop and breathe and just think of something good. That's how you relax because…no matter what goes wrong in your life, remember, Ash." She smiled at him and hugged him, her face as red as his. "Ash…you saved the world. No matter what goes wrong, the world is still here because of you. You can always feel better about that much at least."

He felt her pull away, feeling a bit disappointed. "Misty…why are you telling me this? It seems a really strange time, I guess, maybe not, since you're leaving and all. I still don't really get why you're telling me this. I'm not all that angry right now. I feel bad about you leaving but, uh, we kinda just came to terms with that."

"It's…" She bit her lip. "I'm selfish. I just sort of hope that, well, when you stop and think back to all the good stuff, and you're all calm in the woods, you'll think of the time we spent together. I just…I want to be thought of. You're the best friend I've ever had, Ash. I guess it's hard not to be when we've spent the last few years with each other all day and night. But somehow, even though I'm sure you can't forget that much of a chunk of your life, I'm afraid you'll forget me."

"Misty," He giggled. "I have too many scars to forget you! And, besides, you know I'll miss 

you. I didn't forget Brock, did I?"

"Well, no," She sighed.

The boy grinned and brought his arms up to his shoulders to squeeze Misty's hands. "I'll stop if you will."

She nuzzled into his back, like when she was scared of something, and he dimly realized she was struggling not to cry. "Thanks, Ash." She pulled back and swiped at her eyes. "Don't be so sentimental. It's stupid. Just…hurry up! I have to leave, you know."

He rolled his eyes. Some things never changed.

**20. Theme: Worry--Pairing: AAML--Title: Accidents Happen**

"Uh-oh! Brock! Ash fainted…again. He should man up. If we're not careful he's going to more girly than I am. I'll tell you, Brock, it's a sad day for mankind when a boy faints over every little thing," Misty called from another room. It was a room that the two had be sent, the three had be sent to, in the adults' foolish hopes that the reckless children would be quiet for the night. What possessed them to think a quiet place for them would be the kitchen instead of in front of a TV was beyond anyone's sense. "So…should I just throw water on him? That usually seems to work."

Mrs. Ketchum sighed a bit, "Misty, what made him faint this time? You didn't give him another paradox, did you? You know how those make him woozy."

"No, Mrs. Ketchum, he just got scared. He got terrified and he fainted." Gary informed, sounding like he was still distracted at Ash's unexpected faint. "Come to think of it, I'm a little woozy myself. Can I get away from Misty for a moment? I'll be really quiet with all of you, I promise!"

"Wimp! What, you can't handle this? Look at it! That's right, look at it! Does it make you sick? Does it? I demand the truth! It makes you green around the girls, you pansy! I say Gary should stay with me until he faints along with Ash and gets used to the sight. They both need to man up."

The Waterflower sisters wrinkled their noses, confused as to what the sigh was, and it was Violet who found her voice first. "Misty, what happened that the boys are, like, nauseous? Like, something must've happened. You, like, want to come over here so we can, like, find out what's wrong?"

"No," Misty said too quickly, her voice high and squeaky. "Everything's fine!"

"Like, little sister," Daisy warned. "Like, don't make me, like, come back there. I _totally _won't be happy if I have to move. I've, like, gotten really comfortable here so I'll, like, give you to the count of three. One…two…Two and a half…"

"But…But you'll touch it!" She squealed. "I'm fine! You can take Gary and Ash! Please let it go! It's no big deal! You know how boys exaggerate this stuff. They heard a heavy gasp. "I'm not coming over there and you can't make me! Don't you even try, you hear me? You try and I'll run away!"

Daisy groaned and pushed to her feet, striding back to the kitchen with a sing song, "Little sister? Like, come here. I won't, like, hurt you." Then a yelp of shock followed by, "Like, ohmigawd! Tracey! Tracey! Brock! Come help me! Ohmigawd! Misty, how the hell did you do that to yourself?"

Everyone leapt to their feet and went back to the kitchen, half expecting it to be nothing big. What they found was far from nothing big, and was very gory. A knife, soaked in blood sat on the blood drowned countertop while Misty held up a hand leaking thick, red blood form the webbing between her thumb and index finger. She attempted to hide it behind her back, face depicting every essence of shame.

"Okay, Misty, let's get this under the sink to get all that extra blood off. Tracey, could you run and get the medkit so I can gauze her up? Antiseptic too. Holy…do you have an actual _hole _through your hand? Brock gawked at her. "How'd you do that?"

Gary spoke up. "It was freaking. She was chipping up potatoes, and Ash insulted her or something like that. She slammed the knife into the cutting board, but Pikachu made a noise so she jumped and slammed the knife through her hand and pinned it to the cutting board. She didn't even say anything. She just stared at it, then pulled the knife out. Then, Ash fainted."

"Ow! Brock!" Misty cried as Tracey handed the antiseptic to Brock and he lathered it on her hand. "That stings! Why do you have to poor that in! That hurts a million times more than getting cut!"

"Explain to me," Brock said, pulling out the gauze. "How can you stab a knife through your hand without a complaint, then pull it out without a word, but you scream at a little sting? You're crazy, you know that?"

"It was a big sting," Misty argued. "And I was in shock from that whole 'I stabbed myself' thing. I didn't feel any kind of pain. I just felt numb." She giggled. "I can't believe Ash fainted!"

Then, two arms were around her waist, Ash's head cuddling into the space between her shoulder blades. "I'm so, so sorry, Mist! I don't believe this happened! It's…It's all my fault! I shouldn't have bugged you with a knife in your hand! You always tell me not to and I did anyway! I know you meant it as a threat but I didn't know you could get hurt too!"

Her face looked like it was trying to hold back laughter as she consoled, "There, there Ahs. It doesn't hurt and it was just an accident, no one's fault. My hand doesn't even hurt that much! Look at how well Brock fixed me up!"

"You're not completely fixed. We've got to take you into the hospital so they can stitch you up. You have a _hole _in your _hand._ Did you really think it would be as easy as bandages? Let's get to the car. What a happy birthday for you, Mrs. Ketchum."

"It's fine," She laughed. "After Ash I'm used to things like this. Is there anything you need Misty, or are you set to go to the hospital?"

"I should be fi-"

"I can't believe you have to get sewn up! I bet that'll hurt! A needle? I can't even take a shot!" Ash wailed.

"I'm sure it won't be that bad, Ash. They'll probably use staples anyway!" His face paled and he began to cry again. "No! Ash, don't cry! Look, even if I have to cut off my hand, I've still got one good one left, and it's the hand I write with!" She grabbed his hand in her good one, and the crying stopped. "You don't have to worry, okay Ash? I'm okay. It's not your fault and it's all going to be alright."

He sniffled and nodded and squeezed her hand a little tighter.

**

* * *

Once again, I'm sorry about the length. And, I know there's more AAML than DAML. There's going to be an AAML chapter, a DAML chapter, and a AMDML one. Alrighty? Love y'all!**


	48. AM What's That Lassie?

I suppose I need to tell everyone this now. (This means Misty's comments, not mine) (A/N: This means my comments, of which I will not be making) So everything is narrated, and put in parentheses by Misty.  
_But BSR, why oh why have you taken so long to update?  
_Because my school hates freedom and bogs me down with work and tests I really should study for and they won't even give us our Bishop Day, which was when Bishop John Lennon, well, not John, Bishop Lennon came in, we pretended to listen, and he gave us a day off. But we didn't get that day off. And that is why I couldn't update. I apologize for my teachers' lack of sympathy and need to crush the spirits of creatures who were once happy teens.

**AAML**

"…Ash…?" I called down tentatively. My fingers clutched the grey stone with an almost hyperactive worry state flashing through my mind. "Ash, hey, uh, you're conscious, right? Sorry I banged you up. I didn't mean it to go that far. It's just…you're kind of a jackass when no one else is around and I have a short temper. For some reason, you keep forgetting my violent tendencies but judging by the fact that I might have killed you, it looks like I can't control my temper yet. So…oops is really the only thing I can think to say. I'm not exactly sure it's right but…oops. Pikachu, do you think Ash left you to me in his will?"

"Misty?" Ash's voice floated up to me. It was beautiful melody of angels. I was not going to jail, they said to me. I was not going to become some angry girl's girlfriend! It wasn't going to be like all those horror movies my sisters had me watch about the woman going to jail! I was home free, glory be! This was an amazing thing, you see, because I was quite convinced I had murdered Ash Ketchum, and you don't get many kind words for killing the infamous Ash Ketchum. "Misty, where the heck am I? And why am I wet?"

"I don't know…" I lied, my voice sounding a little too airy. I eyed the electric rodent next to me, raising one eyebrow as a brilliant beyond all brilliance idea struck. It would be perfect, if only for a few days. "hey, by any chance do you remember a pokémon called Pikachu? If you don't, you shouldn't know that he's mine and he's not too fond of you. You have a psyduck to help you through your pain. Best pokémon in the world. You two have made beautiful memories together. He really misses you. Do you want his pokeball?"

"Are you kidding? I don't have amnesia, Misty! I said your name two seconds ago! I obviously don't have amnesia if I know who you are! I also know who Brock is and who Pikachu is! I can't believe you're trying to steal Pikachu and pawn Psyduck off on me! Now, could you please tell me where I am? I think I went unconscious for a moment and I blanked out the first couple of minutes, so I don't remember anything about what just happened. My leg hurts too, really badly." He splashed for a second. "I think it's broken, Misty."

"Uh-oh," I squeaked.I cleared my throat and tried to make it deepen, hopefully sounding calming and grown-up-ish and not uh-oh-I'm-going-to-jail-for-assult-and-I-don't-have-a-single-lawyer-to-help-me-out-sh. It didn't work though. It never does. My voice stayed high and squeaky for a little while longer. "Ash, maybe you're jumping to conclusions! I'm sure it's not nearly as bad as you think! Stay calm and, er, well, I'll get a rope and pull you out of there! When the bucket comes down, grab it. I'm sure it'll all hold your weight." It was at this point that my betrayer of a voice finally returned to normal and I could speak like the Mighty Misty I truly was. "Then again, you're water logged. Take off your jacket, pants and shirt. I'll haul those up first."

"Bucket?" Ash said, his voice a low growl. I shuddered. He sounded _mad_ and you do not mess with an angry Ash. He'll kill you, and that's no exaggeration. Okay, it is. He won't kill you, but if you think that boy wouldn't hurt a fly you have another thing coming. He is _angry and violent_."Do not tell me that I'm in a well. If I am…hold on! Did you push me down a _well_? What the hell did I do to get pushed down a _well_? Yes, Misty, I said _hell _instead of heck because you pushed me down _a well. _I mean, I've been hit by you lots of times, but down a _well_?"

Now, admittedly, I was in the wrong today. It was the first and only time I had been wrong, and I will never be wrong again. Why? Because I am the Mighty Misty, and the Mighty Misty does not get anything wrong. However, looking back on that crucial, life changing moment, I suppose that, yes, I screwed up. I think that hitting him with my mallet as hard as I could as we stood by a well (made of beautiful gray stone, by the way. The whole thing would have been absolutely wonderful and romantic if Ash wasn't there to screw everything up and make it suck) and he was looking down into it could have been handled a different way that did not involve poor Ash tumbling headfirst down a water source. But, what's in the past was in the past and I couldn't exactly change it. So, I lied about it. Why get it trouble, right?

I shouted: "I didn't push you, dumbass! You fell down the well yourself! I tried to grab you, but you went too fast and now you're stuck! So put your clothes in the buck and I'll haul them up. Then I'll send it down to haul you up. Do you think you can make it back to the center if I let you lean on me, or will I have to carry you?"

There was the quiet sound of water, sloshing only because he had moved in it a few moments before, then he replied: "Um, I think I'll be able to if you help me. I just have to take my jacket, shirt, and pants off, right?"

I snorted and wrinkled my nose, glad he was in the well so he wouldn't see my blush. What was it with this boy? Did he have some kind of sick desire to flash me? No matter where I went, I always ended up with a pair of boyish boxers in my face and a creepy ten year old who broke my bike doing some kind of foreign pantsless dance for me. I really don't want to see a pantsless dance, but I always get one. Thinking back to these pantsless dances, I giggled. "Ash, I want to get you out of the well, but I don't want to see you naked. It's bad enough I'll have to see you in wet boxers. I'll have nightmares for weeks."

He grunted, looking up at me as I peered over the edge. "Thanks for the compliment. Wanna pull me up or something? It's a little cold down here. In the _well _I'm in. Can't believe you pushed me down a freaking well…"

"You're welcome for the compliment, Tubby," I giggled, and lowered the bucket into the well. As for hauling him up and walking him back? Well, you could say the nickname suited him perfectly. I did not suffer in silence either. Note to self: Never volunteer to carry _way _too heavy for his age boy the five hundred and thirty two feet back to the room. No easy task.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

Brock, however, did not seem to be anywhere near as gullible as the lovely Ash was. In fact, he seemed downright suspicious that Ash fell down a well. _I'd _believe he fell down a well. The idiot falls all the time! Why not down a well? He fell, and he just so happened to be by a well. The odds of that happening can_not _be that impossible. Unfortunately, my close eyed friend did not this of this logic. "He _fell_…down a well. No one hit him down, Misty?"

"No! I even tried to catch him!" I said, doing my best wide-eyed-innocent-I-have-no-idea-what-the-goodness-golly-foshes-you-are-talking-about-golly-gee-willickers face. He glared at me. It really hurt. "Brock, why would I lie about this? It's not like I haven't pushed him down things before! I've pushed him down lots of things: stairs, off ladders, off small cliffs, out of trees…Oh! Do you remember the elevator incident?"

Ash moaned. "I just kept falling and falling…Thanks for coming back after you finished _shopping _to stop the escalator," He spat sarcastically.

"You should be thankful," I retorted, my face stuck in a snarl. "I could've left you there to die, falling down the escalators forever! That's a whole lot worse! It was nice of me to come back at all, especially after you called me scrawny! You know I hate it when you do and you _know _I'll hit you but you insist on it! Maybe the way to keep me from pushing you down the stairs is to not provoke me when we're standing on top of the stairs! Didn't you even think that hey, you had a freaking voice and you could've called for help! The only reason no one came was because I put a sign up that side you were trying to break a world record! If you had just told someone that the sign was a lie or called for help I'm sure you could've gotten out of there no problem! It's not my fault you're stupid! Maybe _you _should grow a brain!"

"Or Misty should enroll in anger management classes," Brock muttered. "You have a problem. Don't you even feel guilty about leaving him there? I mean, it was _three hours_. I could understand a few minutes, but _three hours_?"

I bit my lip, thinking quietly. I didn't feel a thing, really. Well, there was the bubbly, cheerful feeling I get whenever I complete revenge, but that had almost faded to the point where it almost wasn't funny to think of him falling down the stairs for hours on end. Almost. It still made me smile. "I don't feel bad about it. He deserved it. Besides, he got right back up! Sure, he was bruised and dizzy, but it's not like he died or anything! He's just a big crybaby!"

"I had bruises all over! Plus three hours of my life were wasted falling down!" Ash snapped. He crossed his arms over his for and tried to look peeved from his spot. He only succeeded in looking like he was a little kid throwing a tantrum. "You're demon spawned, you know that! You're pure evil! Satin's child!"

Ignoring him, I grinned at Brock. "So, what's the word, Doc? He bruised up his leg or sprained an ankle? We'll be able to travel soon, won't we? Ever since that first town without a gym we had the curse of never getting a moment's rest. I just want to get out of here before you fall down a well." I laughed.

Brock did too. "Well, we'll be out of here the second Ash figures out how to walk on crutches. You got pretty banged up this time, Ash. I've got you splinted and all wrapped up but you're still going to be hobbling around for a while. With today's medicine, I'd have to say it's going to be two weeks. A lot better than before though, Ash. It used to be a couple of months, well, six weeks. Welcome to the club! You're now one of billions of members. I'll give you your prize later." He clapped Ash on his shoulder and the smaller boy grinned.

"What am I, the 999,999,999,999th member?" Ash giggled, flashing his stupid smile.

I wanted to punch it off his face. I had _hurt _him. He was in pain. He shouldn't have been laughing, he should have been crying! It wasn't revenge if he was grinning. Then it was just an attempt at revenge that had failed and, believe you me, I never had and never will enjoy failing. But, I plastered a smile on my face and laughed along with them

"Close to it! Congrats, Ash, you broke a leg!"

I suddenly felt nauseous and my mouth took on a coppery taste. For some reason I could not get that one thought out of my head…I broke his leg.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

I sat on the edge of his bed, stain. No, not at his sleeping face, but his leg. Brock had gotten the medical supplies he needed and given Ash a cast. I had tried to persuade Nurse Joy into telling Brock all they had was the bright pink, but she just laughed and handed Brock the dark blue. Now, it was practically black, covered in ink and decorate with drawings done the day before by Ash himself. I had to admit, he could really draw his pokémon. Keyword: his. He could draw a perfect Pikachu but ask him for a geodude and…it's definitely not a geodude. It's a wonderful circle…

Knowing he wouldn't wake up, I leaned over and traced my signature on his cast. It seemed ironic, since I was the one who caused the mess, the mess that started up approximately fourteen hours before. I knew, because I had counted every hour. I couldn't sleep, though I could not for the life of me figure out why I was having the trouble. So, not thinking of what else to day at seven in the morning, I came to his bed and had stared at his leg for an hour. It wasn't until sixty three minutes had passed that I was finally able to get up the courage to do anything more than look. It turned out that this movement was the death of me.

"Pikachupi?" Pikachu asked sleepily, raising her head to perk her ears and flick them back and forth, trying to find the sound that had woken her up. Her sleepy eyes shined in the darkness, wondering if I was the cause of the noise."Pika?"

"Just looking at the battle scar," I explained. My fingers tapped on the bulbasaur drawing slowly as I thought of what else to say. "I bet it must be weird for Ash to have this junk on. He loves to run around and he can't feel anyone touching his cast."

"Actually, it kind tickles when you tap it like that. How long have you been up? I've been up for a few minutes." He opened his eyes and smiled at me. "Good morning, Misty. Do you always wake up this early when we don't have to walk? You're always complaining about it, yet here you are. It's seven in the morning. Why aren't you sleeping in?"

"I couldn't," I sighed. "I couldn't sleep at all. What's it like to have a cast on? Violet says it's itchy, but I haven't broke anything yet. It doesn't hurt, does it? Not anymore. You'd've been crying if it did." I giggled when he scowled at me.

"It's kina itchy, but Brock keeps giving me aspirin so it doesn't really hurt. I'm pretty bruised up on my leg too, and that's what hurts, mostly." He grinned at me. "How'd I fall down the well, Misty? Was I attempting suicide? I'm sure Pikachu will tell me if you don't!" He laughed, cuddling his electric rat.

I stiffened. Pikachu _had _been there! She had seen everything! I was _so _screwed if she spoke up. But she didn't. She made her little Pikachu happy noise and cuddled up to him. I blinked. "Uh, you…you just tripped, Ash. You're always tripping. This time just brought you down a well. Accidently happen." I shrugged, then though. I hadn't been able to insult him. Believe me, I _definitely _wanted to insult him. That always cheered me up, and I felt pretty down right then. But I tried and tried my hardest and I couldn't bring myself to do it. It was aggravating, mostly because I've never had a problem saying what I wanted and now it felt like I was being silenced. "I can't believe you fell down a well." I scolded in my most disappointed voice. That seemed to be best I could manage, teasing disappointment. I took was I could.

"I'm surprised you didn't push me in yourself," He laughed. "Hey, hold on, Misty. Why are you so pale? You're like a ghost, even in this light! Man, that's freaky. Just when I thought you couldn't be any paler, you sure showed me!"

"That's not funny!" I giggled, the wave of fear passing. "I'm going to try and get back to bed, I guess."

"Yeah, 'cuz who'd want to stay up talking to me?" Ash laughed. It sounded empty. His hand smoothed Pikachu's fur absently, sadly. "I'm not that great of a talker. I know where you're coming from. Even I wouldn't want to talk to me. I never say anything too smart or worth talking about. It's just all about pokémon. I think I'll talk to Pikachu until you get up. So, I guess I'll see you in three hours?" He asked carefully.

For a second I wondered why he seemed so scared to ask, and then it hit me; he thought I would turn him down. It made me pause, wondering if I really did shoot him down all that often, if I really did hurt him so much that he was scared to ask if I would be willing to spend time with him. It kind of hurt. "Uh, yeah, two hours, I guess." I took a deep breath, holding it for a second before releasing it slowly to buy myself time. "But…I was only saying that because I thought you were tired. If…if you're not ready to go to sleep yet I'd love to keep talking. Even talking to you is better than going back to having nightmares about bugs!" We laughed, then the room went eerily silent. "Well, I guess we need something to talk about. Why don't you…tell me why you want to be a master so badly."

"First tell me what you want to do. What you _really _want to do," Ash grinned. "Keep it short, we don't have all night!"

"I want to be the best at everything," I shot back. "No story there. Tell me all about _your _heart's desire! I bet I can grab a flashlight form Brock's bag and we can tell it like a horror story. Anything out of _your _past is bound to horrifying."

Ash grinned a cruel smile and tilted his head down, light dancing in his bang covered eyes. "It was a dark and stormy night in Pallet. My mother had made an all vegetarian dinner that night, so, of course, I was pretty hungry…"

**(PAGE BREAK)**

"Do you want breakfast?" I asked, looking at the digital clock blinking 9:00 in green letters. "I'm pretty hungry. You can't really walk, so, uh, I wouldn't mind picking something up for you. Keep it simple, because I'm not making more than one trip to carry all your junk."

"Cold, sugary cereal and cold milk?" He asked almost too hesitantly for me to stand it.

"No problemo, mi compadre," I said, saluting with two fingers. "You want skim, one percent, or two percent?"

"Whole!" He beamed, his white flashing teeth seemed to be the badge of honor for the avid milk drinker. "What's the point of drinking milk if it tastes like water? Why would anyone want the other stuff? I like it full of fat and rich so I can grow up big and strong like a fat baby cow! Though I don't want to be made into a hamburger."

"The other stuff tastes just as good, and most people don't want all the extra fat in their drink, "I elaborated, jumping off the bed. "Not that you care much about fat, Ash. You're the kind of guy who eats deep fried Twinkies like their pieces of popcorn." I swung out the door, but poked my head in one last time. "I'll have to return the trays anyway, so plastic spoon or metal?"

"Paper or plastic," He quoted, then shrugged. "Plastic so I can chew on the spoon for a while." Then I went to leave, but he called me back. "Misty, um, we need some ketchup packets for Pikachu. She broke into my backpack last night and ate them all. That's what she was telling me while you were messing with my cast. I nodded and headed for the door again, but was stopped once more. "Misty! I wanted to say…" He froze for a moment, but apparently my hot glare defrosted him. "Thanks. Thanks a bunch."

My throat thickened and my stomach lined itself with lead. I felt horrible, and it was _his _fault. It was my fault he had a cast on, and what does he do? He _thanks _me! Little psycho. Yet, though all these things seemed right to say, the wrong thing came out. Not an insult, not a hot response, but: "Welcome, Ash." I walked out the door, closed it softly behind me, then ran like hell. I had a bad feeling about today. It had to do with whatever was making me sick (which, unfortunately wasn't lovesickness (I knew how to fix that)) and the fast that this weird emotion was bound to make me snap sooner or later. It was only a matter of time…

**(PAGE BREAK)**

"Can you use them now?" Brock asked, handing the newly adjusted crutched to Ash. It was taking a while to shift them into the right position (mostly because Ash was so whiny and short): just tall enough to shove up uncomfortably into your armpits when you walked but low enough so that you couldn't really have fun and pole vault with them. Ash, being especially short (he _is _short), needed a lot more adjustment than most, and it was starting to get funny.

"Do you have a setting for 'dwarf' on there, Brock?" I giggled, watching Ash's face go red.

"Shut up!"

"Ooh," I taunted again. "Grumpy. Who put a bee in your bonnet, Ash? Hey! I just realized! Grumpy! That's a pun all in itself! You're one of Snow White's friends! So, are you going off the mill singing "High Ho"? I would pay to see that!"

"I hate be short," Ash grumbled, attempting to use the crutches again. He wriggled on them. "They're not to tall. Maybe I don't have to stand on tip toe anymore, but it kind of is annoying. I'm not supposed to rest my body on 'em, you said, but they're shoving up into my armpits and I think that's going to get pretty aggravating."

"Ooh, aggravating. Big word for such a little guy," I snickered. "But if it's that annoying, it's about right. Violet told me crutches were annoying because it's supposed to be a punishment for being retarded and letting your leg get bashed up. Hey, do either of you two know what retarded means? I think it's stupid."

Ash shook his head no, but Brock merely replied, "Add that to your list of words you shouldn't say. That one is going to get plenty of people made at you. When you know what it mean you can choose whether or not you will go around saying it."

"Does 'fuck' mean good, Brock?" Ash asked suddenly. He plopped on the bed and let the crutches fall to the floor with an air of disgust. Apparently, he was fed up with the metal monsters. Of course, since I wasn't on crutches, the only thing I want to do it, of course, play with the thing I can't have. So I stole his crutches and hobbled around on them while he talked. Well, more tried to balance on them while I picked both my feet up from the floor. "Because I heard some guy say 'motherfucker' to another guy, so would that mean he has a good mom?"

"Brock put his head in his hands for a minute, but I wasn't sure why. It seemed perfectly rational to me. "Ash…no. It doesn't mean that at all. That's probably the biggest 'no' word on the list. In fac,t you shouldn't say it even after you find out what it means. Why don't you lean on Misty and get outside? You can practice with your crutches."

We looked at one another, Ash with surprise for a second, because I was indeed balancing on his crutches, shrugged, then did what Mama Brock asked us to do. Unless it had to do with a girl, you always did what Mama Brock said. That's why) aside from the fact that it was pretty funny) I ditched Ash for a moment when Brock called me into the room.

"Hey! What about me? I'll be lonely out here! No one to keep me company as I fall on my face…I seriously can't used my crutches…oh no! Pikachu! Stop! You're going to throw me off balance! You can't get on my-" There was a crash outside, one that made both Brock and I wince, before his voice wafted to us. "I'm okay…mostly…"

"You rang, Brock?"

"Have you told him yet?" Brock asked, leaning back and falling to his bed. He had the top bunk, so he had pretty much vanished from my sight. "I don't think you have. Seems weird. Usually this is something you'd admit out of nowhere, something you'd be proud of. So why are you so quiet about it? Why aren't you bragging. Misty, this isn't like you at all, I know that and we haven't even spent all that much time together."

"What am I quiet about?" I blinked, my innocent face returning.

He flipped onto his stomach and eyed me, making sure I was looking back. I was sure to meet his gaze, you could never pass off a lie if you were looking away. When he spoke, the words were slow, sure, yet somehow not accusing. "I know you shoved Ash in the well. I'm sure you didn't mean for him to break his leg, but I'm sure you shoved him in. Ash is pretty clumsy, but that's no reason for him to actually turned into an overused Lassie cliché."

My mouth moved quickly, already coming up with a fact to move away from the lie. "Did you know that every single dog that played Lassie was male, even though Lassie was supposed to be a girl? They did that because males usually had better coloring. I find that ironic, because most of the Lassie movies were in black and white anyway. What's the point of having pretty colors if you can't see them? Why not just get a girl?"

"You're changing the subject."

I blinked my eyes. "Am I?"

"I'm just letting you know, you're usually guilt free, but you've never lied about anything like this. You've got a conscience, I've seen it, and you can't smother it for long. It'll come out whether you want it to or not, and you never know what people do when they feel guilty. My little sister used to burst into tears whenever she felt guilty. Completely random, just started crying. I doubt _you'll _start crying, but you never know."

"Don't worry about me, Brock," I grinned, thumping my chest with my fist. "Guilt can't get through my barriers! As long as I think rationally, I'll stick to my story. Ash fell. Don't blame me. I'm an angel, and innocent angel from the heavens above!"

"Innocent my foot!" Brock snorted. "Go help Ash use his crutches. Maybe that'll earn you some karma points! Amscray!"

I amscrayed.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

At the end of daylight, turning into evening, Ash could run almost as fast on crutches as he could without them. It never ceased to make me giggled to watch the boy's lurching steps across the green grass behind the pokémon center. It also never ceased to amaze me that I didn't even have to go slowly for him. It also never ceased to _disgust _me at how much boys sweated compared to girls. I told him so. "You smell like a muk, Ash."

"You're no cherry blossom yourself," Ash retorted, laying down close to me. "You smell gross. I smell gross. Aren't kids supposed to smell bad?" He grinned and put a crutch in my face. The leather, squishy top was glistening with sweat and the smell was something you neither want to read about or breathe in. He giggled as I tumbled away, hand over my nose and gagging. "That bad? _That_ should be an attack."

"Smelly, guy armpits," I mused. "Not exactly a cool name and I don't think you'll pick up a lot of girls with that one."

"Yes," Ash agreed. "I won't pick up girls, but I don't want to pick up girls. Besides, it's defensive and offensive. Offensive is obvious, if a pokémon smells bad enough he can make his opponent woozy or even knock it out. Defensive because, well, do you want to get close to anything that smells like me, or _touch _something that smells like me?"

"I don't want to get close to _you _that smells like you. That can't be healthy, Ash. Nothing that smells that bad can. Wait, have you even taken a shower since you fell in the well?" He gave that obnoxious, obviously mischievous grin to me. "Oh! That is _sick_! You better be planning on taking a shower tonight I will…I don't know, but it won't be good for you! Sick, Ash. It's completely sick. See, this is why I hate guys!"

"You have no idea how funny it would be to put you in a headlock," He said, jerking towards me threateningly. "I'll do it too! For missing me when I fell down the well! Maybe that'll teach you to get faster reflexes."

I shrieked and tried to get away, crawling on my hands and knees, but he snatched my ankle and dragged me back. Once I was close enough, he grabbed the belt loop on the back of my shorts and pulled me all the way down, trying to wrestle my head under his arm, which really was the moment I decided that I truly hated Ash Ketchum, but I luckily managed to escape and hide behind the tree we were under.

Though Ash could run just fine with his crutches, it took a while for him to get up. It took even longer for him to turn around. If I knew Ash like I thought I knew Ash, he wouldn't care. He'd be up on his feet and after me as soon as he could. My knowledge did not deceive me. He was up in a second, and though I smiled and laugh and seemed all around happy, the gross feeling was back worse than before, and I let Ash catch me. Well, by that time, it was 'tag' me, and it was my turn to chase after him.

I guessed, well, if I pushed the guy down the well, I could give him this much, right? Righ. No guilt. No pressure.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

"You don't talk in your sleep," Ash said as my drowsy eyes opened. "You never have. You've snored, sure, all three of us do that, but I'm the only one who talks in his sleep. Brock says 'Oh Jenny, oh Joy' a lot but he's sorta singing and I don't think that counts. So, when did that start? You were almost screaming? Did you have a nightmare or something?" He laughed and continued to look at my face, eyes worried, yet happy nothing was wrong with me.

"What was I saying?" I asked, feeling worried. I did fleetingly remember a dream about Ash toppling into the well due to the mallet I carry around in my hammerspace. Sadly, I could do nothing but watch myself beat Ash into the well. Then he turned into a swarm of bugs and ate my flesh, but that's how all my nightmares end.

"You kept screaming 'don't do it' and then, well, then you started screaming something about devouring your corpse and you were too young to die and you hadn't even gotten drunk yet." Ash knotted his eyebrows together. "Was it the bugs again?"

I sighed sadly and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. "It's always about the bugs. I hate the bugs. They always ruin my dreams! Some of them start out so happy and then the bugs show up out of nowhere and bam! I'm suddenly getting eaten again. This fear is getting pretty bad. I think it's because I'm meeting so many new types." I smacked his shoulder playfully, grinning. "Nice job, Ash. I'm never going to get over this fear!"

He smiled back. "Yeah, I guess not. But, you know, facing your fears is supposed to help you get over them. So, maybe if you _really _want to stop having nightmares I should go out and catch a few bug pokémon, lock you in a room with them…"

"No!" I shook my head vigorously. "Not in the name of fudge I won't! you know I can stand having those things around now as long as they don't look to buddy but I'm definitely not getting locked in with any of them! Not even the pretty ones! That's where I draw the line!" I crossed my arms and fell back on my bed, hoping the discussion would be over. Being around Ash made the stomach of lead feeling twenty times worse than a ever before. I was getting sick of my mouth tasting funny too. Instead of footsteps fading, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Not everything you think is all that bad really is. Some things…some things you hate, they aren't so bad. I mean, you used to hate talking to me, and now look how much we're talking! It's like we're really," I could hear the embarrassment in his voice and imagine his bright red face. "We're really friends. Do you think we're friends?"

"We've always been friends, Ash. I guess we're just…we're a different kind of friend than most people. You know how much we fight, Ash. Not, I'm not saying we're, like, in love or anything, but we're kind of close and I fight with my sisters all the time! I guess it's just my family's way of showing they care!" I felt my face heat up, but I found his hand in the dark and squeezed it once, quickly, before letting go. "I care about you. Not like _that _but-"

"Oh, I know! Neither of us feel like that. I don't feel like that with anyone. The only thing I love is pokémon training and food. That's all I'm planning on liking. I'm going to be single all my life!" He grinned proudly, and somehow it made me smile.

"Well, the girls you be all over you then. Girls always like guys that play hard to get. That's because, to girls, catching boys is just as much as a sport as catching pokémon. But the girls have to be careful to, because boys only want one thing from a girl."

"What's that?" Ash asked.

"I can't say. It's on the list of words we're not allowed to say. I don't know what the word means anyway. If I don't know what it means, I'm pretty sure you won't have any idea either. You're a lot dumber than I am." He stomach twisted again, reminding me that I was supposed to be _nice _to the dark haired dork.

"Spell it," He insisted.

I sighed. It wasn't exactly something I wanted to share with him. I was pretty sure spelling it was just as bad as saying it. "It's like six but with an 'e' instead of an 'i', When I asked my sisters about it, that said I'd understand when I'm older and if I didn't I should ask them again when I'm a teenager. They say that about pretty much _everything._ My parents used to be the exact same way! I don't know why I have to wait so long. Teenagers are just as stupid as kids, I know plenty of them! Why do they get all the cool stuff?"

"Because adults don't want us to have any fun. They shove all the cool stuff into the teenager's head because they always like the older kids better. That's why little kids always get hand-me-downs," Ash explained, quite sure of himself.

"That's right!" I exclaimed, eyes wide with wonder. "I never get anything but hand-me-downs! My parents always liked my big sisters better! Even the bike you owe me was a hand-me-down from Violet! I never got anything of my own! Well, except underwear and socks, but that's not really what I want for Christmas. That's all I got for Christmas, Ash, stuff my sisters got before and socks and underwear!"

Ash's hand found mine this time and gripped it to show his shock. Unlike me, however, he didn't let go two second later. "Santa stole your sisters' gifts and gave them to you? _And _he gave you underwear? Santa hated you!"

"Not exactly, my parents gave me underwear and socks. Santa _does _give me a lot of stuff he stole from my sisters but he gets some stuff that's just for me. When I asked my mom why I got so many of my sisters' old gifts mom said Santa though I wouldn't notice, even though she _told _him I would and that Santa was a cheapskate and she didn't know why she was with him in the first place and _why _she continued to have his children."

"That's weird."

"What my mom told me?"

"No, that your mom calls herself 'she' instead of 'I'," He laughed at his own joke.

I hit him again and we each went back to sleep. I shook my head a bit before I could get back to dreamland again. Ash must have been squeazing my hand too hard, because it felt tingly. But, weirdly, it was a nice kind of tingly. Then my stomach turned to lead because I heard Ash's cast bump the bed he crawled into.

That was _my _fault.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

"Breakfast?" I asked. I had woke up early again and spent the morning gawking at his cast. When his eyes finally opened, that was the only word I could think of. It was strange because, honestly, I wasn't even in the mood for 'breakfast'. I would've settled for a glass of water and a few strawberries. Maybe I'd grab a banana, but nothing I couldn't snatch out of my backpack and eat while watching an early morning talk show.

He cocked his sleepy head to the side. "Breakfast? Didn't you say all I get is cold milk and cereal?" He laughed and grinned at that. "It's like I'm in jail thanks to this cast. The worst part is the food." His eyes closed again.

I picked up his cast coated leg and dropped it on the bed. "Wake up! I'm the waitress at the bed and breakfast and I'm taking your order! If you could try to keep it on one tray, that'd be great, 'cuz I'm not bringing anymore than one. I'm not hungry, but I'm sure as hell bored out of my mind. So, order up so I can have something to do. I have to stretch out my legs. All that running yesterday really hurt my legs. They're tight." I rubbed them to prove it. They _were _sore, but I was sure that wasn't the real reason I was going down there. T9o think of it, my legs could probably hurt worse. It would be better to stretch.

"Could I have pancakes and bacon and…" He stopped himself. "Uh, could you just grab a lot of pancakes and bacon? Those are always right next to each other."

"How much of each?" I sighed, slightly regretting my decision. I'd probably collapse under the weight. "Like, five plates of pancakes and six of bacon? That's how much you usually eat, and that's only if you're 'not hungry'."

"If you could just load up a plate of pancakes and bacon…just have it stacked as high as you can. Oh! Maple syrup all over it too!" He stopped, then continued in a quieter tone. "Well, uh, only if you can. If it's too hard to do, it's not a problem. I can eat it dry. Your legs already hurt, probably worse than mine does!"

"It's no problem, Ash. I'm doing this for the sake of my legs and out of pure boredom. I'll get you syrup just because I'm such a sweet girl." I swung out of the bed, winking. "Aren't I the sweetest girl in the whole wide world?"

"You're pretty nice today," Ash beamed. Pikachu was beginning to stir and uncurl next to Ash's head. "Don't' know why you're being so nice, but as long as there's not a prank at the end of this I'd be happy to take it. I can't believe you're actually getting me pancakes for breakfast! Who are you, and what have you done with Misty?"

I rolled my eyes and head for the door. "Don't be too excited, they generally taste like squishy cardboard when Brock doesn't make them."

"Thanks, Mist!"

"Welcome," I said, feeling myself fall into a slight daze. My nose wrinkled and my stomach added another layer of led. I was called 'Mist' for the first time. Sure, he nicknamed everyone, but I was starting to assume that 'scrawny' had been mine. "Mist…stupid nickname," I snorted, then I rose off to get the pancakes, bacon, and syrup while feeling slightly, well, giddy.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

"I don't know if you're aware of this, but it is absolutely disgusting that you put maple syrup on your bacon. And…don't eat that. There's on ant on it. Ew!" I squealed as he put a piece of maple syruped bacon, _with _an ant on it, in his mouth, chewed, and swallowed. He had decided that, heck, it'd be fun to eat breakfast outside under out favorite tree. "You just _ate _a _bug_."

"In some countries, that's a delicacy."

"No it's-"

"Yes it is. They put them in lollipops and fry them and chocolate coat them."

"You still _ate_ a_ bug_."

"Want a piece of bacon?"

"No, I don't want your nasty bug-sugar bacon. Nasty stuff." I scrunched up my face and turned away from what lay in his outstretched hand.

"It doesn't have a bug on it."

"I'm not eating your nasty sugar bacon."

"But it's tasty! I don't eat nasty tasting stuff!"

"You _ate _a _bug_."

"Okay, you have me there. You sure you don't want any bacon? It's the last slice and it's bug free! No pesticides or hormones!"

"I don't want your nasty sugar bacon."

So, he finished his nasty sugar bacon, licked his hand, and rubbed in on the side of my face. He then ran like hell, and took his punishment (me pounding him into the dirt until Brock came out to haul me off of him) like a screaming two year old girl.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

"Mist? Wake up!" Ash encouraged me, shaking my shoulder. "I already went down the well, you can't stop me! I just broke my leg! I'm not dead or anything! Calm down and wake up! You're going to wake up Brock and you know he's going to want to be Therapist Brock again and talk about your dream!"

"Stop shaking," I muttered. "I'm up. My brain's rattling in my bed, but at least I'm awake. That's the important thing, right? I didn't even get eaten by bugs this time. Do you think that means I'm starting to get over my fear?"

"I think I just woke you up early."

"Probably. Thanks for waking me up and not letting the bugs get me. Always appreciated. Goodnight, Ash, sweet dreams. Don't break your leg while I'm sleeping." I was surprised when he didn't stop me, but waited by my bed a moment, sounding like he was trying to hold back giggled. "What's so funny? Did you pull _another _prank on me?" How'd you do that with your bum leg?" I accused, sitting up and untangling my hair.

"So, you like my smile?" He asked, unable to contain the giggles anymore.

I blinked. "What's that supposed to mean? I don't really care about your smile unless it's that freaky one you get right before you perform horrible pranks on people, usually horrible pranks on _me._ I swear, if you pulled some kind of a prank…" I trailed off as he continued to giggled, shaking his head no.

"Actually, Misty, I think you're wrong. Well, maybe I should say Mist," He giggled harder, clamping a hand over his mouth to stifle it. When he'd calmed himself, he continued. "You seem to think a bit different, or at least your unconscious does."

I felt my heart stop beating, my face go pale. "You mean my subconscious?"

"Yeah, that's the one. You were freaking out about the well. You thought I was going to die if I fell down. You kept saying that you'd never see me smile again and never hear me call you Mist. You were really freaking out."

"Just because I say it in my sleep doesn't mean that it's true!" I growled. "I never even talk in my sleep! I can't imagine why I'm doing it now, I can't believe I'm_ lying_ in my sleep. Besides, you're one to talk! Didn't you talk about Gizelle after we met her?"

Ash flushed. "Well, like you said, not everything you say in your sleep is true." He changed the topic. "Have you ever though that you're doing this all because you feel bad you you've got a secret. Mom said that when I was little, I used to confess everything in my sleep, and whenever the secret was _about _someone, I used to get really sleepy whenever I saw them. I would take naps all the time and tell Gary or May, that's Gary's sister, or Mom or whoever what I did." He shrugged. "I guess I'm just no good with guilt."

"What? Do you think I feel guilty about something? I've got a clear conscience! I haven't done a single thing wrong! You can't just go around accusing people of things! You don't even know! Why don't you mind your own personal beeswax?"

"Somebody's a little defensive," Ash grinned. "You don't have to tell me whatever it is you did, but it's going to get worse. By this time tomorrow, I could know every single secret you've got. If you don't get rid of whatever's going on, I'm going to learn a lot more than you want so…" He walked away, cast hitting the floor with an almost hollow sound. "Sweet dreams, Misty."

Each clunk brought dinner higher and higher in my throat until I felt like throwing up. A few swallows brought it down to a manageable level, but it was almost impossible to sleep. I stayed up 'til three, slept 'til five, then went back to my usual routine.

**(PURPLE BUNNY)**

"Breakfast," I said. My tone was gentle this time. "Good morning. I hope you got a good rest. I let you sleep until nine today. You usually get up at eight thirty, but I guess you were tired, probably from running around on your crutches. Thank goodness you took a shower or we'd all be suffering form that attack of yours."

He blinked. "Misty, you seem awfully…different today. Did you have a dream where you killed me? I know how happy those make you."

"Nope." I smiled. "I'm just in a good mood. Come on, tell me, what do you want for breakfast? Anything you want. I'll double and we can split it. So, what? Bacon, pancakes, sausages? Whatever you want."

"Whatever I want?" He asked, examining me closely. "I can have _anything_? You'll get me anything I want?" I nodded. "Are you high right now?"

I laughed. That _would _be my guess; cheerful, easy going, doing and saying things I normally wouldn't, the fact that we had just learned what 'high' means… "No, Ash, I'm not high. You broke your leg and I ought to be nice to you. It won't kill me to load up a tray of food. Tell me what you want and I'll get it for you. Chop, chop, I'm hungry!"

And so began he biggest and longest torrent of food order I had ever heard. I had to take a notepad to jot down a list that would've made any waitress gag. But, it felt good, Ash looked happier than ever before, and for some reason, that smile was really making me feel giddy.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

Under the same tree as before, Ash, Brock and I relaxed. Time seemed to be frozen in the warm summer climate. We chatted and giggled over syrupy fingers and forks, Ash drowned _everything _in the syrup, so _everything _tasted sweet. I didn't mind too much; I _was _a sugar addict after all. But even I had the common sense to keep away form the maple syrup bacon Ash was swallowing by the ton. I tried to stick to pancakes and sausages, normal foods to cover in maple syrup, but when you travel with a stubborn kid like Ash…

"You want some bacon?" He suggested, holding it out to me. His fingers (and the bacon) were dripping with light colored syrup. I was sure he'd licked his fingers about twenty times already, every time using his fingers to pick up more of the breakfast, but I barely minded that anymore. "I checked this time, no bugs!"

I rolled my eyes. "Ash, even I have my limit on sugar. There is no way that could possibly taste good, especially if you thought it up. You know what that is? Same thing I told you yesterday: Nasty sugar bacon."

"Oh! Come on! Would I eat it if it tasted bad? Sure, I can't lie and say that I wouldn't give something tasted bad to you, but I'd never eat anything that tasted bad. So try it. It's salty and sweet! It's like French fries and milkshakes!"

"That's nasty too."

"Have you ever tried it?"

"No, but I know it's nasty."

"Please! You'll like it! It's the closest thing I have to cooking. I try your weird food combinations."

"Like what?" I snorted, "Peanut butter and jelly?"

"Okay, if you had any weird food combinations, I'd try it! You know I would! It's not just because I'll eat everything either. It's because I'm your friend and we have a fantastic bond." He grinned. "So try the nasty sugar bacon!"

"I don't want you nasty sugar bacon," I snapped, then sighed. "But…I guess I can try it since you're an invalid, a slow, stupid fat invalid," He beamed anyway when I snatched the bacon and threw it in my mouth. I chewed carefully, a little surprised that the bacon was still crispy. For a second, all was sweet, then a bit released the salt meat and the two flavors swirled. "It's actually…pretty good. Who'd have thought? Ash Ketchum isn't a total idiot."

"That's what I've been saying!" He laughed. "I'm not a complete moron! I know some stuff!'

"You know some pretty cool food combos, but I think that's all," I licked the syrup off my fingers with another giggled. "You know what? IO think I could handle a bit more sugar! You want to come with me to grab another round of bacon?"

"Sure, but Mist?"

"Uh-huh?"

"I just thought you should know, whatever's been bothering you? Everything you're doing more than makes up for it, and I forgive you. I'm sure whatever happened, the person forgives you, so you don't have to feel guilty about it, though I'm not saying you do." He laughed. "And if you've got a secret, no one cares enough about you to wanna know what it is, so you can keep it as long as you feel like!" I raised my fist. "Noooooo! Don't hit me! I'm little!"

**(PAGE BREAK)**

And now I'm staring at him, dark and bleak colors around me in the barely there light. I don't know what time it is. I don't care either. I've just become fascinated with every motion he makes. Every rise of his chest, every twitch of a finger, every half sighed word makes my heart leap with infatuation. He's beautiful. In every meaning of the word, he's beautiful. I know I'll never get over it either. Maybe others say I will, but I won't. I _know _I'll be with him forever. I _know _I will marry him. That's all my heart will accept, and my mind is perfectly happy to agree. Until the sun rises and I can't watch him any longer I'll be hypnotized by his face.

"You're staring."

"I pushed you down the well," I say. The words are calm, unimportant, and for some reason I would not take them back for all the world. They need to be said, and now it is done. I feel better than before, lighter. "I'm sorry, I didn't tell you sooner."

"It's fine," He sighed, eyes still closed. For a moment, I think he's still sleeping, then his eyes blink open. "I know you had pushed me. I told you I didn't have amnesia, Mist."

"Oh," I say. Silence. "Are you angry?"

"Not really."

"I took forever to tell you."

"Better late than never. I'm not the grudge holding type anyway."

"I've noticed," I smile. "You're kind of good looking, Ash. Not that bad at all. I could see myself falling in love with you. What do you say? We got married and have a few kids? We could just make out, right here. Brock's out…no one will ever know."

"I wouldn't mind the making out," He grinned, sitting up. His leg has long since healed, and he's quicker than ever. "But what brought all this on?"

"I guess it took six years for guilt to settle in," I shrug. "Now, get your sexy ass over here because I deserve it after all those guilted years. It was such a great confession too!"

"You serious?" He asked. "Because I _will _tackle you to this mattress. If this is a joke, I'll be so mad. You woke me up, and I was having a dream an awful lot like this, accept it wasn't as…Mistish. Do like that? It's the adjective form of your name."

"Very nice. Come here," I prompted, moving my finger in a 'comer here' motion. "This is what Misty wants, and you've been around me long enough to know what Misty wants…"

"Misty gets," He grinned, looking like he was about to pounce, his mischievous grin on his face. "But, before we do anything, I think you should know, I couldn't actually feel you tap the cast. Pikachu woke me up."

"That's been eating you for six years, hasn't it?"

"Yes," He groaned, hanging his head.

"Ash, who _cares _about something like that?" I snorted. "I _broke _your leg, and you think that something like this matters?" He shifted his position again, lowering his head even further to look at me from beneath his bangs. "Ash…what are you doing? You better not do what you look like you're thinking of doing…Aaaash," I warned.

He pounced, pinning me to the mattress with a playful growl. "Hey, you asked for it. Besides, how guilty would I feel if I didn't do what you asked?" He sighed. "After all these years, I still can't believe you shoved me down a well."

"Will you just _kiss me _already?"

Thankfully, he did.


	49. DM Four Thousand

**WARNING: Death and other sad surprises. I hope this doesn't make anyone too sad (but in a way, I hope it does make you feel something).  
**Why was the update so slow? Well, if you must know, I hand-wrote too much (I killed six notebooks this year with fanfiction and my other failure of a story!) and I got carpel tunnel, if that's how you spell it. I have exams, which I study for by staring at a page while my mind wanders and hope that it all magically downloads into my brain, and my teachers like to give out oodles of homework so we can boost our grades, which, of course, has the reverse effect and lowers mine.  
By the way! Guess who figured out why her stories came out looking funny? Me! It was because I got the new Word, and it's label is, what else? Docx. Now, because it's docx, Fanfiction gets angry and screws around with my stuff because it doesn't understand how to convert.

**DAML**

Happy day, sunny day, nothing prettier. So, of course, it was this day that they chose to go to the cemetery. Why was it that all people insisted on going to a sad place on a good day? It was never when the rain was pouring, or when it snowed, not in real life. In real life, it was only in the sun and easy breeze that people decided to venture to the cemetery and lay their flowers. Perhaps, to counteract the feelings. Perhaps it was the sunny day so that only while in the cemetery did you feel the heavy ache on your shoulders, the stomach sinking feeling of knowing you are treading over corpses and possibly your future gravesite. Who hasn't seen a grave and not, for just a moment, wondered what it would be like for their own name to be engraved in stone, along with dates and some redeeming quality.

There was a building by the cemetery, bright red brick shimmering with heat. It cast a shadow, but not on the grave she stared at. Oh, no, not at the grave she gawked down at. That would have been to morbid. It would have been dark, might have been the final straw. That was all one needed at a cemetery, a final straw: a drop of rain, a shadow, even tripping over one's own feet could set one off in tears. It was usually better that way, to let it out.

No way to release today. No way to set it free without looking ridiculous, or drawing looks from a couple not too far away. She ran her hands through her brown hair, they trembled. Arceus, how she needed a release. Just one more bad, horribly wonderful incident that would set her off, send her sobbing into the dirt. It would be better that way. She needed to let go, constantly needed to let go. Just a look in the mirror would send her into The Depression. That was her name for it, the doctors' name for it too, come to think of it. The Depression: hopelessness, anger, emptiness, sadness. Oh, just a few of her favorite things. She would give anything to avoid The Depression. She would do anything to get rid of it: surgery, pills, painful shots and drugs, name a way and she would gladly take it. Nothing could be worse than this.

Her release, her release! When would it come? Why would it not come? Why did her own emotions, her own body, betray her?

She cuddled the eevee in her arms close, knotting her fingers in the warm, brown fur. It smelled of primal instincts, of animal, of that soothing, free smell that could somehow make one want to run away from the wild that they came from or make them dive into an open lake, drink the water and not even bother to purify it first. That scent took her away for a moment, ripped The Depression down from where it clutched to her, where it clung and hung like a cape. But it came back, because it always came back. Nothing could make it go away. Not a thing. Not the birds, not the eevee, and, though she wished for it, not the release. They only delayed the inevitable.

She dropped the creature. Not dropped, per se, but let it jump from her arms to the grass, where it sniffed the grave and whined, like it knew what lay beneath the earth. It probably knew what was lying there, actually. She would not be surprised in the least if her little friend knew. If nothing else, she could certainly pick up the sadness in the air. Every creature, fish or fowl or beast knew the scent of death. How could eevee not know, when hundreds of soul were trapped beneath the earth?

Dead, dead, dead. How she hated that word. It caused much too much trouble for one syllable, four letters. Perhaps, if one felt like changing things up, you could replace it with death and add an extra letter. The word still had the same amount of power, but the extra letter seemed to name it, give it the form of a skeleton with a scythe and a bony finger that pointed at you when it was time to leave the world behind. Yes, that was better, even comical. Death could not be comical, at least, that was what The Depression scolded as it settled around her once again and whispered "dead" in her ear once more.

"Taunting me, the bastard," She spat. She idly wondered if the couple down the road would look at her strangely if she clawed at her ears. It would be a strange enough thing to do, but probably no stranger than hearing The Depression vocalize what her emotions tried to conceal. They were not aware of the voice though, no, she was sure they were not, that would be impossible. It was best, she decided, to mutter to herself, act as if talking to the grave.

"Bastard, hiding in my head. Show yourself, coward. Get the hell out of there and talk to me face to face. Let me kill you. Let me stab you. Maybe you'd kill me. I don't really care anymore. I'm not really alive anyway. I'm a zombie. That's what I am. I'm a living dead. That's why people are looking at me funny on the subway. The _subway!_ Like I'm the weirdest thing they've ever seen on the subway. Only way to explain it is that I'm a zombie. I've got little flesh pieces falling to the floor all the time, that's what it is. People are staring at the maggots running around in me and the holes in my cheeks and how I've got a slack jaw so I can moan better."

She leaned forward, glaring at the grave. "Why'd you go and die, huh? Why'd you do it? To spite me? That's it, I'm sure. You're spiting me. Died just to give me hell. Ooh! That seems just like something you would do. Barely even know you, and I'm sure you'd do it. You and The Depression, both had it all schemed out, didn't you? It was all a plot to make my life a living hell. Well, fuck you, both of you. The Depression and you can rot in your grave together. You'll be happier then!"

She leaned too far forward, face still in a furious line, and fell, flat on her face. The grass itched at her skin, slinking under her pretty dress and brushing her cheeks, beginning to redden with restrained tears. Then it broke, all her resolve, all her anger, all her fear, it poured into the tough, dying grass in hot tears. She choked on sobs, and soon, choked on pollen and grass and the overwhelming story the tombstone held.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

"A cabin," May giggled. She turned and twirled in the little hut, the blackened by night and brightened by a fire in the far corner. "A wooden cabin. Couldn't be anymore romantic, could it? You've got me swooning, Drew! I adore it! I don't know how you managed to get such a cozy place. I thought all these places were bought up and made into condominiums and surrounded by tourists and their strange Hawaiian tees. Can you tell me _why _all men think it's okay to wear something that ugly?"

He came up behind her and pulled her tight against him, back to front, and kissed her neck swiftly. "Because we'll never see anyone we meet there again, isn't that a good enough reason? Besides, it's not like I own one."

"What about that tacky old shirt you wore a few nights ago?"

He turned her to him. "Tacky? What shirt do I own that's _tacky_? Hey, I take more time choosing my outfits than you ever will."

"Oh? Prove it, Drew-bee. How long do you take to get ready in the morning compared to me?"

"Well, that's not fair," He laughed.

"Why not?"

"What about all the girl stuff you do that I don't?" Another brief kiss on the cheek, then he led her by the hand into the kitchen.

"Girl stuff? What girl stuff? Taking a shower? Flat ironing my hair? It's not my fault I can't roll out of bed perfect, unlike you." She pouted, a giggle hiding in the back of her throat. "Every morning, you roll out of bed with your hair straight and perfect. All you do is run your fingers through it, three times, with both hands. Then you take a two second shower, which means you're probably still dirty, you just use too much soap to cover the scent. You brush your teeth, you clean up, then you pull on jeans and a shirt. Everything matches with jeans."

"Not everything," He defended. "I take the time-"

"You better get used to not winning any arguments, Drew-bee. Didn't your Daddy ever tell you that your wife always wins?" She sighed romantically. "I'm your wife. It's romantic, isn't it? Don't you just love it? We're newlyweds. I'm on my honeymoon, in a romantic, secluded cabin. You're about to make me something which I hope is half coffee, half chocolate, and half liquor. It's straight out of a romance novel." She jumped up on the counter, letting her legs dangle from the edge and stuck her chin on her hand. "I never thought it'd be someone like you."

"What a compliment," He rolled his eyes.

"Oh! Don't be so sensitive! You know what I mean."

"I don't."

"You have to. You know my type."

"I assumed _my type _was your type."

"Maybe you don't know me too well than, hmm?" She challenged. "I have a very distinct type. It's something you should know by now. Haven't you been reading those romance novels I give you each Christmas?" He gave her his best 'you have got to be kidding look' before going back to his cooking. "You're a jerk. I bought those because I thought they were romantic. I thought you were romantic! Why aren't you going to read them?"

"Because they're stupid."

"You're stupid," She snapped, crossing her arms over her chest and narrowing her eyes.

He grinned, "so's your face."

"That was a stupid comeback."

"And yours wasn't?"

She sighed. "You have me there."

The young girl, not a day into her mid-twenties, took in the scent of the pot he cooked in. "Mmm, tasty. What are you cooking up for me? It smells fantastic." She smiled at her, angelic innocence lingered on her features. Angles had sharpened since he first met her, cheek bones were more defined, hips had widened and all the curves had fallen into perfect places. She wore jeans and a baggy sweatshirt, much like him, dark colored and still wet from the snow outside.

Her green haired lover stared for a moment, then captured her lips in a long kiss. Neither particularly cared for the bubbling liquid, not for a moment. Hands trailed torsos and faces, pressing tightly together as if scared to let go, but eventually pulled away. "It's going to be okay. Everything will be. It…I won't let anything happen to you. No one has to know about this, about us, about anything. We can get this annulled and go back to our old life. No one will think anything of it. It's just the press, May! They'll have a field day! You should find someone unimportant, someone bland, marry them. You can't stand the fame. You won't be able to stand the headlines."

"I never read the headlines," She murmured on his lips. "What's it matter if I don't read the paper? We can be together, in our little wooden cabin. The honeymoon can last forever. I don't care what anyone says. It can and it will. We can make it last forever. We can kill deer or something," She laughed and held him closer. "Please? I don't want this to end before it ever starts. You don't need to give up…everything for me."

"This is about you," He frowned.

She frowned back, a playful twinkle in her eyes. "No, it's about you."

"This is serious."

"I'm being serious."

"No you're not. You're joking around."

"But you're serious, so if I didn't joke around we'd both go insane with seriousness and kill ourselves like Romeo and Juliet."

He scowled. "I don't like death jokes."

"So serious," She sighed, shaking her head. She quietly flicked out the fire and hopped off the counter. "Come to the sofa. We are going to lay you out, loosen you up, and see if we can get this place a little warmer by stoking the fire. You know what I mean by that, don't you?" She raised a seductive eyebrow.

"I have a vague idea." He kissed her neck, traveling down until the baggy sweatshirt blocked him. "You know, you're always in the mood for sex when you've got all this crap on. Why can't you ever want to do me when you've got a bathing suit on? That always happens in those romantic books of yours. Julio and Maria, having hot sex when the master isn't home. Julio is the pool boy, and the mistress is always in a string bikini."

"But if you didn't work for it you wouldn't be so excited when you finally got it," She giggled. "You should have seen your face when you finally figured out how to get my bra off. It looked like you had just cracked the code to the most guarded bank in the entire world. All proud of yourself, it was worth wearing frontsies."

"Never wear those again," He murmured, attempting to figure out a way to wrestle the sweater over her head without removing his lips from her skin. "Never, ever wear those stupid things. I couldn't get it off of you."

"Ever stop and think that that's why I wore them?" She smiled. She twisted and kissed his mouth, her tongue taunting his before she pulled away, breathless. "Drew-bee, I'm just as eager as you, but I'm too tired to stand up through all this. You're going to have to make it the five feet over to the couch. I know it's going to be hard, especially since you're a little hard yourself, but I'd appreciate it if I didn't fall to the floor and crack my head open while we're doing you-know-what."

"Will you ever be able to say sex?" He teased.

"Nope. Hurry up, let's get to that sofa. I want to finish this up so I can get back to my late night drink which you always make so well. Too bad we don't have any caramel, I'd love a little swirl of that on it. Whipped cream, too."

"I want to have sex with you and three seconds ago I thought you were all set to do me. Can we think of something other than food?" He asked hopefully.

"Oh, well," She laughed lightly. "I guess. I can't help that I'm hungry, Drew. It's all your fault I am. So, start blaming your stupid self for this whole mess."

"I already do," He whispered.

"Aw, Drew-bee," She crooned. "Don't blame yourself. I was only joking. Won't you please come and talk to me?"

"No." One word, abrupt, tight. "I need you. Talk later, May?"

She answered with kisses.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

Shivering, they did up their clothes. "Drew-bee, I don't think this was the best idea in the world. I'm freezing. Any second now something is going to freeze off and break on the floor. I can't believe you talked me into doing this. Ridiculous. Shame, shame, Drewbalicious." She pulled her shirt down and toyed with her breasts for a moment, trying to get everything back into place. Her hair was last to be fixed, her fingers swept through the now laired hair and grown out bangs.

"I like your hair like that. Much better than the perm."

"Don't bring that up," She whined, shaking her head furiously and ruining the hair she had tried so hard to make perfect. She gave a frustrated growl and began to straighten it again. "You didn't even get to see it. I ran straight home and showered it out. There was no way I would ever keep that fashion don't. I don't know what I was thinking. Barely anyone can pull off a perm, I can't. Besides, laired is in, isn't it? You're always up to date on all the fashion styles and everywhere I go I see girls with laired hair and they all told me that I'd look fantastic with lairs so I got them and voila! I look fantastic."

"You do look fantastic," He murmured, fingering her hair back into place tenderly. "I don't care too much about how you look, May. Everything's been based off looks, our entire life! Contests, impressions, magazines, I'm absolutely sick of all this. It's going to be different now. It's going to be better, and I won't ever let a single thing come between us."

She smiled dreamily. "It's not that cold out. Take off your pants."

He smirked. "This is a _great _honeymoon."

**(PAGE BREAK)**

It was that night, after all the wildness, after all the cray sex that they lay in the small cabin on the pullout couch, cuddling in one another's arms. For a while, they slept, nothing but their breathing and crackling fire in the room. Then May shifted, and Drew awoke. They were not sure exactly what to say, holding each other for a moment and each hoping they would be able to fall back asleep. They were quite sure that this was not an option, so May finally spoke.

"What we did, eloping like that, I feel bad about it."

"Do you?" He murmured, rubbing her back soothingly.

"My parents, my brother, I'm the only girl, Drew-bee. We just…stole away their little girl's wedding. I know they'll understand, when we get back and tell them everything. When we tell them about how the press would have a field day with you marrying some random coordinator, and…well, Drew, I think they would need a minute to take it in, but I'm sure after a couple of minutes they'd be fine with…" She seemed unable to get out the words.

He moved his hand to her navel, "The unplanned pregnancy."

She laughed once, the sound bitter. "Make it sound like a medical term. Unplanned pregnancy, that's what health teachers tell teenagers. An unplanned pregnancy, not two idiot kids who forgot to use birth control, no, were too _stupid _to use birth control. Now…the girl's knocked up and the boy has to marry her. Both their lives are over for a night of fun. We probably wouldn't have stuck together if it wasn't for this. You know, I might as well just kill it."

"No," Drew growled. "I helped _make _that. You can throw it out if I made it. I want it, dammit. I've got the money to care for it, May. It's not like we're poor. If the situation was different, by all means, abort the baby, but not if I've got the money to get it. Besides, I think you're healthy enough to have the baby. You got any back problems you forgot to tell me about? Genital warts? Babies suffocate from those, you know." He sighed. "If you really want to; I won't stop you. It's your body. What do you want to do?"

"I want to keep it," She sniffled. "Will it have a crappy life, with us as parents?"

"No. I'm sure it won't. Maybe it'll be bombarded by the press, but nothing it won't be able to stand." He kissed her head lightly. "As long as you don't think I'm making you-"

"Don't worry. I gave up listening to you ages ago, Drew-bee. You're less help than Harley," She giggled and pushed her nose into his chest. "Careful with those STD jokes, Drew. Dawn got one, from a pokémon, believe it or not."

"How did she-"

"It's a long story, and it's not dirty, it's tragic," May scolded. "Imagine the shock when Kenny went in to get tested. Ooh, that was a horrible night for the both of them. Bad, bad night. I could practically write an after-school teen special on that. You're lucky I'm clean. I'm hoping you're clean. I did have you get tested for everything they know how to test. You were with that stupid slut girl. I hate her. Stupid slut."

"You mean Maria, the girl you giggled and played with all the time when we were really getting into contests and she was your biggest rival aside from me?"

"Yes," She nodded. "Stupid slut girl." There was another long pause. "I'm going with Japanese names, because we've both got Japanese in us and I think it'd be wonderful to name them something like that. Also, all the kids in school will love the foreign names so that's a plus. If it's a boy, we'll name him Satoshi. If it's a girl, we'll name her Kasumi. Do you happen to know where I got those names from, oh wonderful husband whom I love so much and ought to love these names because I'm blessing him with a child?"

"Isn't that Ash and Misty?"

"Yes."

"Why would you name our precious children after those two morons?"

"Ash saved the world and Misty's practically my older sister. If it wasn't for her I never would have figured out how to survive my period with men around. I would have to had killed myself, Drew, I swear! You don't know how hard it is to have something like that and then have idiots around you all day joking and having fun when you're in so much pain. It's times like those that you just want to commit suicide or homicide or genocide because the world sucks."

"Lovely May." He chuckled.

Suddenly, May's eyes rolled into the back of her head and she went limp in his arms. Her mouth lolled open slightly, and her eyelids slid closed. "May? May, wake up. Honey, come on. Don't do this to me! You didn't choke or anything! Wake up, sweetheart. Wake up, honey. May-bee, wake up." He slapped her face lightly, tapped her shoulders, and hoped for some kind of response. When he got none, he listened for a heartbeat. He found that. Then, on the verge of tears, he flipped out his cell phone and pressed 911 with shaking fingers, gave them the address, and stayed on the line until the whirling ambulance got to the door.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

"They say she's in a coma, probably will be for the rest of her life. The chances of her waking are slim," Drew said quietly. The Maple's, Ash, Brock and Misty all gathered around the bed, watching May's comatose form breathe while the tubes filled her with life sustaining drinks, or, as Ash jokingly said to lighten the mood 'LSD'. "She had something go wrong in her brain. They're not exactly sure what. The doctors said that it's rare, but every once in a while, there's still mysteries they can't solve. They don't know what happened, only that it practically stopped all brain activities except for her heart, her breathing…They say there's a chance she'll wake up."

Brock spoke quietly, "What are the odds?"

Drew took in a shaky breath. "One in six thousand she'll live long enough for them to get the baby out."

Norman's head swiveled to face the boy. "The baby, it's still okay?"

"They don't know much, won't know much until it's born. It's got a heartbeat, it looks perfectly healthy. They have a feeling that nothing will go wrong, because May's body is fine. She's perfectly healthy. Her brain is just…" He shook his head. "Wanna know the odds she'll wake up?"

No one answered, staring at him silently. His body was shaking as her raised a hand to his face and covered his eyes.

"One in four million," He said, and cried.

He wept long and hard and continued when May's mother embraced him, letting the grown man cry until he couldn't anymore. Max joined in, running to his sister and clutching her hand, crying like he was ten again and kneeling on the floor. May's father, Brock, Ash and Misty seemed incapable of no other emotion but to stare, breathing ragged at May. Though, if watched closely, one could see Ash Ketchum fiddle in his pocket for his prayer beads, each one representing a different religion, and his lips moving. First, he spoke in English, than in Latin, than in languages no one could identify. And soon, once Drew stopped crying, all that was left was Ash's quiet chanting and the beeping of the heart rate monitor they had May hooked up too.

Somehow, it would have been easier if the green light stopped bouncing and just rolled across the screen as a long, flat line.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

Nine months, one week, and three days into May's pregnancy, she registered contractions and the comatose woman was put straight into C-section.

There was not much to say about it. The only thing that could be said was that it went well, and the baby was delivered fine. Drew abandoned a contest the second he got the call, not even bothering to give an excuse as he ran out the door and jumped into his car, driving like a maniac on his way there. May was put safely back into her bed, and Drew waited with her, eager for the baby to be placed in his arms.

The nurse came, tentative in every motion. "She's healthy, at least, mostly healthy. Her heart's fine, she barely has a chance for any chronic disease, no asthma, no anything, really. She's healthy but for…her legs, Mr. Williams. They're…mangled, I guess. They're twisted together, no way to fix it but to cut them off. But she's _healthy_, sir, please don't have an attack on me. She's perfectly healthy but for that!"

The man looked up and, against all odds, smiled. "Healthy? I was just praying she'd be alive. My wife is in a coma, ma'am, a wheelchair isn't that bad of a thing, when it comes to what happened to her mother. It is a her, right? The doctors said it would be, way back when all they had was the ultrasound to go on. I guess I'll follow what she wanted. I'll name her Kasumi. Kasumi Haruka Williams, sounds funny, doesn't it? I think it's best, it's a tribute to her mother." He held out his arms. "Can I see her?"

The nurse smiled, "Of course, sir."

The baby passed to his arms, and he held her to his face. Her eyes were half closed, looking up at him, as bright a green as his own, and her hair was brown, darker than May's, but very close to the same shade. She yawned, and curled up close, seemingly satisfied that this was her daddy. Drew smiled and sat next to his wife, putting the comatose woman's hand on the baby's smooth face. "This is our daughter, May, Kasumi Haruka Williams. She has green eyes and brown hair, and she's gorgeous, May. She's going to be as pretty as her mother. She's got a little thing with her legs, but she's alive and healthy. You kept her safe, and you did a great job."

He could have sworn he saw her smile for a moment, just a flash, before the long beep started.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

And just as he held her when she was small, Kasumi Haruka's father lifted her up into his arms and held her. Her twisted legs, the things she hated more than life itself, dangled limply below her. That was where the anger stemmed from, what created The Depression and the weird looks on the subway. But Daddy, Daddy was what made it better. Daddy held her close and whispered softly in her ear while eevee bounced nervously on the ground.

"Cool it, big girl, cool it. Ten years old soon, starting your journey. Cool it, big girl, cool it. Your mother's still watching over it, keeping us safe. You never would have made it if she didn't try so hard. Held on all that time, just for you. Let go as soon as you were safe. She loves you, big girl, loves you as much as I do even though you can't see it. You're going to be alright now, don't cry. Daddy will make it better," He crooned.

"I'm scared to get the surgery," She whispered. "What if I don't wake up? It's bad enough that, if it does work, I've got to come back home every time My leg gets too lopsided and the doctors have to get me a new one and fix me up. What if I go through it all, and nothing works? Then I'll just have to stay here. I'll never do anything special that way. You know, last time I went in, a doctor told me I could have been a runner, a _runner _with my body. Just irony, isn't it Daddy? It is, and it'll be ironic if I got everything I didn't want, the fancy house and clothes and pokémon from Mommy and the only thing I did want turned out to fail."

He chuckled and wiped her eyes, easily holding her up with one arm. "It won't, kiddo."

"Why not?" She snapped.

He laughed again. "Because, baby, you're one in six thousand. After those odds, everything else seems pretty damn easy to accomplish, doesn't it?"

**(PAGE BREAK)**

"Don't be afraid. I'm exceptional." – Lapras, Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Darkness  
"Remember this: There are times, in a crisis, when we are able to call upon skills we never even knew we possessed." –Professor Oak, Bulbasaur…The Ambassador  
"I get to chop open a fish, pull out it's eye with tweasers, cut _that _open, and got to wash off and keeps the round lens thing inside? My day couldn't _possibly _get any better!" –BSR, on the best Biology class day _ever_

Quote One was because I thought it was funny, and I hoped it would brighten your day. Quote Two was because it was the absolute best quote I ever heard, and I now worship Professor Oak, especially since he's Ash's father (Heh, eldershipping). Quote Three is because, well, it really was the best day ever and if any of you had any doubts that I was a Bio nerd, well, there it is. Your proof I love that stuff.


	50. AMDM Innuendo

_Well, Dear Readers, I think I'm going to end on an upbeat note! What better than to combine my comedy (because, for some reason, you all find me amusing) and my romantic twinge! What shall I do? Well, I will teach you the importance of description! In the following paragraph, you will have absolutely no idea what I'm speaking of! No idea whatsoever! It won't even sound like they're doing anything, oh no, nothing suspicious or PG-13 rated here. Just read carefully, we'll see if you _are _able to guess. I bet you won't be! Good luck, readers!_

"It's not working."

"I can tell."

"Why isn't it working? Come on! You were playing with it a few seconds ago! Now it's not even warm. It's downright cold!"

"Well, maybe it's tired."

"But you and Gary played with it for hours."

"Maybe it just doesn't like girls. Wait, stop trying to shove it in! If you want it to work you have to blow on it. Blow it, then put it in! There. Oh, yeah, now it's working. Hey, whatchya grabbing that for? That's mine!"

"Aw, shut up and plug it in. You know I like your stuff better than mine. Oh! That's cool looking!"

"Yup, sure it. Don't touch it, though. I'll have to clean it later. You're gonna get white stuff all over it."

"Why is that taped down?"

"'Cuz it jams sometimes and you can't push it down. You don't need to have it up anyway. Just play with the other stuff, like you always do."

"Hey! What're you doing! I called bottom! I always call bottom! The top makes everything harder!"

"That's dirty."

"You don't think of anything but sex, do you? You're such a guy."

"You should be able to tell that from what's in your hand."

"Is your room soundproof, Ash? I hope it is."

"Why?"

"Because I'm going to make you scream."

"Kinky."

"You're sick!"

"Aw! Great! Now I'm sticky! Thanks a lot, Misty."

"You're welcome. At least you taste good now. Okay, let's start the real stuff. You're going to have to go fast. You always go too slow."

"You would too if you were doing the real work!"

"Faster! Faster! Come on, we're almost there! Yes!"

"Got it!"

_Now, did you have ANY idea what they were talking about? Of course not! Silly readers, that was an awfully hard one to get! Let's add description, and we'll see how much clearer that makes the writing and the concept of the plot! We'll finally know what it's about and not jump to any conclusions like: they're playing ping pong, they're battling or they're dancing. Oh, what's that you say, Little Jimmy? It sounds like they're what? Oh…well, I suppose, but this is a T rated fiction, and there certainly wouldn't be any references to _that_ dirty deed. No, I'm certainly it barely sounds like that at all, you pervert! Nobody else thought of it that way, did you, Dear Readers?_

Misty groaned and slammed her open hand on Ash's carpeted floor, glaring up at the younger boy. He was perched, quite merrily, on the bed, drinking AMP and eating white cheesey popcorn whilst watching Misty attempt to get his Gamecube to play Guitar Hero III, one of their favorite games to jam out to on the game station. As you can imagine, not being able to play this game sucked major lemons. "It's not working."

Ash smirked. "I can tell."

The girl huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Why isn't it working? Come on! You were playing with it a few seconds ago! Now it's not even warm. It's downright cold!"

"Well, maybe it's tired," He shrugged.

She groaned, "But you and Gary played with it for hours."

"Maybe it just doesn't like girls," He shrugged. Misty grabbed the end of the controller and began to jam it into the slot, hoping that this would somehow make all the connections fit together. Unsurprisingly, Ash, like most people who own a game station, began to have a conniption. "Wait, stop trying to shove it in! If you want it to work you have to blow on it. Blow it, then put it in!" Misty did as she was told, first blowing in the slot, then on the end of the controller. "There. Oh, yeah, now it's working. Hey, whatchya grabbing that for? That's mine!"

Misty waved him off, clutching his black guitar, completely coated with stickers and gadgets. "Aw, shut up and plug it in. You know I like your stuff better than mine. Oh! That's cool looking!" she flipped over the guitar and traced her fingers over the designs Ash had drew in a red and gold paint pen.

"Yup, sure is. Don't touch it, though. I'll have to clean it later. You're gonna get white stuff all over it." He gestured to her hands, coated in the cheesey substance.

She played with the buttons while the machine loaded and blinked. The top green button was securely tied down with duct tape that Ash had, once again, attacked with a paint pen. It was at this point Misty decided that Ash should not be trusted if he got his hands on a paint pen. "Why is that taped down?"

"'Cuz it jams sometimes and you can't push it down. You don't need to have it up anyway. Just play with the other stuff, like you always do." He shrugged and picked up another controller, pressing the buttons absently before jumping into the bottom bunk.

The red head's eyes widened. "Hey! What're you doing! I called bottom! I always call bottom! The top makes everything harder!"

He giggled. "That's dirty."

"You don't think of anything but sex, do you? You're such a guy." She glared and turned her back on him.

"You should be able to tell that from what's in your hand," He sniggered. Indeed, his controller did have catchy male slogans on it such as: 'Boys Rule, Girls Drool' and 'Men Rock'. Needless to say, Ash did not have a way with slogans. Suddenly, the boy giggled again. Misty cocked her head in confusion, and the boy made a dirty sign.

She growled. "Is your room soundproof, Ash? I hope it is."

"Why?" He blinked.

"Because I'm going to make you scream," She snarled.

He giggled again. "Kinky."

"You're sick!" She screamed. She picked up his AMP energy drink and tossed it on him, dousing him head to toe the fluid. She crunched it, and tossed it at his head, smirking when he fell to the floor with a loud thump and began to thrash for a minute.

He glared up at her. "Aw! Great! Now I'm sticky! Thanks a lot, Misty." He crossed his furious arms over his chest and wrinkled his nose at her.

"You're welcome. At least you taste good now." She giggled, knowing he was too terrified to shout 'kinky' again. Misty picked up her remote and settled it in her lap to start playing the awesomest of all awesome video games, except, of course, pokémon. "Okay, let's start the real stuff. You're going to have to go fast. You always go too slow."

Ash snapped as he selected the 'guitar' instead of 'bass'. "You would too if you were doing the real work!" As everyone knows, guitar is approximately thirty times harder than base and has about three hundred more notes per second than the bass. This is why the 'incompetent' or 'bossy' friend usually ends up playing the bass at weird angles or whilst doing strange activities to attempt to make the bass more difficult.

So, they played, they played for a long time until they came close to the end of the song and…"Faster! Faster! Come on, we're almost there! Yes!"

"Got it!" Ash cheered. The two high fived, drank some water, and decided that Guitar Hero III wasn't all that much fun, and it was time to play Dance Dance Revolution Extreme To The Max Rock The Party Super Pop Rock and Roll Oldies: The Super Deluxe Edition instead.

_See Dears? Didn't that make loads more sense than before? What's that little Johnny? No…no…Little Johnny, I don't think that's something I'd be allowed to tell the readers in a T rated fic. I apologize but…no. Anyway! Now, we should do one for May and Drew, just to show it's the same in any couple. Besides that, I promised that the final chapter would be AAML and DAML, now didn't I? And I intend to keep that promise!_

"My mom is going to get _so _mad at us, Drew."

"Yeah. She probably is, but it'll be good."

"You don't seem like the type to be into this kind of stuff."

"Neither do you."

"Why?"

"Because you hate all kinds of work."

"But it's not really work. It's fun."

"Oh, is it?"

"Uh-huh. It tastes good too. Not a word out of you!"

"Wasn't going to. Yours doesn't. I'm sure mine does."

"Both of our taste fine. Here, try it."

"No, you lick mine first, then I'll lick yours!"

"You don't lick mine, you bite it, stupid."

"Well, how was I supposed to know?"

"Everyone knows that! It's some kind of instinct!"

"Sure it is."

"It is! Now, do you just want to do it at the same time?"

"Aw, but then you can't really see each other's reactions!"

"Come on, let's just get this over with."

"Hey, it's hard!"

"No duh. Why is yours cold?"

"Isn't it supposed to be?"

"Well, I sort of expected it to at least be warm."

"Well, yours is freezing and it hurts my teeth."

"My tongue is gonna get tired."

"Stop complaining! At least it tastes good, right?"

"Tastes fine. Mine tastes better though, doesn't it?"

"But that's not fair! I was just guessing at what you liked! You knew I loved these because you've seen me with them before! But how'd you manage to get one so big?"

"Eh, just luck. Yours isn't half bad though. You did a good job."

"Really, Drew? You have no idea how much that means to me! I rarely ever do this and since you're so experienced it was great for you to-"

"For an amature."

"…I'm never talking to you again…" A sigh. "Until I finish this sorta tasty treat."

_See? That one might have made a bit more sense, because you know from the dialogue that they must be eating something! But you don't know what. Do you see the importance of specifics? Now, let's try this one last time…_

"My mom is going to get _so _mad at us, Drew," May sighed, looking around the room. The mess was everywhere, chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and other dessert making ingredients that could and had been used to make some absolutely scrumptious treats. However, May's mom was a tad bit of a neat freak and she would not at all be delighted with this mess. No, no she wouldn't. She wouldn't be content in the least.

"Yeah. She probably is," Drew grinned, "but it'll be good."

May shook her head, astounded at the boy. In the past hour, he had taught her to make countless dinner dishes and had finished up with dessert. He said it was so she wouldn't bug him for food when they traveled together. She was kind of hoping it was a date. Finally, thinking of a comment that didn't sound completely ridiculous, she spoke,"You don't seem like the type to be into this kind of stuff."

"Neither do you," He shrugged.

"Why?" Her cheeks puffed out, clearly offended at his remark. Her arms came up to cross over her chest and she glared.

"Because you hate all kinds of work," Drew retorted coolly, pulling out their desserts. He handed her the hot fudge sundae she made, flicking a finger towards the warm chocolate syrup topping they had made earlier and eyed his chocolate covered banana.

"But it's not really work. It's fun," May chirped. She skipped to the syrup and ladled it all over her sundae with a grin.

Drew laughed, partly from the idea that the girl who hated all work considered cooking fun and partly because there was a dab of chocolate syrup on her nose. "Oh, is it?" He asked with a smirk, then rubbed his nose hoping to give her the right idea. However, the girl just smiled absently.

"Uh-huh. It tastes good too!" She continued, finally reaching up a hand and rubbing her nose. May stared at the syrup on her hand, blushing, licked it off and pointed sternly at him. "Not a word out of you!"

He chuckled. "Wasn't going too." He gestured to her ice cream with a wicked smirk. "Yours doesn't. I'm sure mine does."

She scowled and stuck her tongue out. "Both of our taste fine. Here, try it."

Drew held his banana childishly, a stubborn look crossing his face and May's scowl deepened. She cried, "No, you lick mine first, then I'll lick yours!"

"You don't lick mine, you bite it, stupid," He snapped.

"Well, how was I supposed to know?" She put her ice cream down at the side and clenched her fists by her chest.

He threw his arms out in the air, a rare display of anger for the boy. "Everyone knows that! It's some kind of instinct!"

She rolled her arms, choosing to take the too-cool-to-care route this time. "Sure it is."

"It is! Now, do you just want to do it at the same time?" He sighed, holding out his banana once more.

The girl pouted, "Aw, but then you can't really see each other's reactions!"

"Come on, let's just get this over with," Drew sighed.

The two traded desserts. May went to take a huge bite, and pulled away, startled at the freezing and hard chocolate covered delight. "Hey, it's hard!"

"No duh." He snorted, spooning at her hot fudge sundae. "Why is yours cold?"

The girl's brow furrowed. "Isn't it supposed to be?"

"Well, I sort of expected it to at least be warm," Drew murmured, wondering how the 'hot' fudge had managed to cool so quickly.

"Well, yours is freezing and it hurts my teeth," She retorted.

"My tongue is gonna get tired."

"Stop complaining!" She shouted. Then, the old lack of self confidence kicked in and she eyed him shyly. "At least it tastes good, right?"

"Tastes fine. Mine tastes better though, doesn't it?" He smirked, back to his cocky self.

"But that's not fair!" She whined. "I was just guessing at what you liked! You knew I loved these because you've seen me with them before! But how'd you manage to get one so big?" May eyed the banana, surprised. It certainly was huge, probably as thick as her first and longer than most.

"Eh, just luck," He said, not wishing to reveal his shopping skills. "Yours isn't half bad though. You did a good job."

She beamed at him. "Really, Drew? You have no idea how much that means to me! I rarely ever do this and since you're so experienced it was great for you to-"

"For an amateur." And she was shot down again, sighing and losing hope for any sort of a relationship.

"…I'm never talking to you again…" A sigh. "Until I finish this sorta tasty treat."

_And so, Dear Readers, let me say sorry if this final chapter was a disappointment and thank you so much for all the reviews! It's fantastic that so many of you reviewed every chapter form beginning to end or just every chapter since you first appeared. There's so many of you, I couldn't hope to name you all! You're all so great and I'm going to miss hearing from all of you! So, if you ever feel like chatting, drop me a PM and I'll be glad to speak with you._

Lots of Love,  
Natty


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